₦airaland Forum

Kobojunkie:
What about child support? Does your brother currently pay that? If he does pay only a portion , the woman can request more from him since he now requires she handles the child 100%. 🥱🥱

You guys make it seem like child support is 100% the mans responsibility you dont factor in income of both partners. A closed friend of mine went through a divorce and the judged calculated and ruled that expenses from child rearing will require the man pay 55% while the woman with the kids pays 45%. So who come lose? Also thers a case i know off where the naija woman was making an income of £110k from 2 IT jobs while the hubby was a carer making way less, the man paid significantly low child support as the judge ruled that since the ex was in an elite tax bracket she would expect less payments from the man. Let's educate our women on these things so they don't divorce for nothing

Abbeytoy:
In the last two years, things have not been going well with my brother and his wife. My brother will call me and lament about his wife's behaviour, he told me that anytime they have a misunderstanding, this lady changes the key and locks him out in the cold. Though he's the one who pays the rent and all the bills, the lady gets child support and spends lavishly on unnecessary things while the apartment is given to his wife by the government.

But the last one she did, my brother left the house and swore never to have anything to do with her again. Even my brother did it to the extent that he requested the DNA of the son; unfortunately, he's the owner.

This lady has been begging everyone, and both her parents and some family members have travelled down to our place to plead on her behalf, but my brother insisted he's not interested in the marriage again.

He was scouting with one of our cousins before, and we thought that when he got tired, he'd move back home as usual, but this man has gotten an apartment and does not let anyone know the location.

The worst of it all is that he did not talk to his 7-year-old son and didn't take on any responsibilities for him again.

The boy keeps crying to see his dad, but my brother keeps saying her mother is only using him to get his attention, saying the boy will see him when it's the right time.

This lady called me last week and said he wanted to pack from the house and my brother should come move all his belongings, but my brother sent me back to her that she should throw everything away, he mentioned that the lady can frame him up or call the police for him and turn to legal battles.

I believe whatever happened between them, the boy did not cause it, and cutting off his only child emotionally and financially is not self-protection but abandonment.

I know marriage can end, but fatherhood should not. You can abandon marriage and still fully show up as a father. The two are not the same contract

All the family are tired, and even I, his closest brother, am tired. I only want him to be a responsible dad to his only child.

Please, what can I do? I really love my brother and want peace for him, however I pity his child.

Are you sure you're not the lady that chased him out of his own house?

Let him be... He knows what he has seen and how wicked the woman can be. When the boy grows up, he will get to see his dad, period!

lionphil:
Are you sure you're not the lady that chased him out of his own house?

Let him be... He knows what he has seen and how wicked the woman can be. When the boy grows up, he will get to see his dad, period!

I am a man, I am also separated but never abandoned my kids.

43Ronin:
✓ You guys make it seem like child support is 100% the mans responsibility you dont factor in income of both partners. A closed friend of mine went through a divorce and the judged calculated and ruled that expenses from child rearing will require the man pay 55% while the woman with the kids pays 45%. So who come lose? Also thers a case i know off where the naija woman was making an income of £110k from 2 IT jobs while the hubby was a carer making way less, the man paid significantly low child support as the judge ruled that since the ex was in an elite tax bracket she would expect less payments from the man. Let's educate our women on these things so they don't divorce for nothing

Stop projecting your personal confusion around the child support system onto others. 🥱🥱

I have never said child support is to be from only one parent. Anyone who has been paying attention would have also seen that I prefer a situation where shared custody...50/50 becomes the norm.so child support is almost completely off the table except for emergencies and what nots-- hospital payments, school fees, etc. 🥱🥱

Abbeytoy:
In the last two years, things have not been going well with my brother and his wife. My brother will call me and lament about his wife's behaviour, he told me that anytime they have a misunderstanding, this lady changes the key and locks him out in the cold. Though he's the one who pays the rent and all the bills, the lady gets child support and spends lavishly on unnecessary things while the apartment is given to his wife by the government.

But the last one she did, my brother left the house and swore never to have anything to do with her again. Even my brother did it to the extent that he requested the DNA of the son; unfortunately, he's the owner.

This lady has been begging everyone, and both her parents and some family members have travelled down to our place to plead on her behalf, but my brother insisted he's not interested in the marriage again.

He was scouting with one of our cousins before, and we thought that when he got tired, he'd move back home as usual, but this man has gotten an apartment and does not let anyone know the location.

The worst of it all is that he did not talk to his 7-year-old son and didn't take on any responsibilities for him again.

The boy keeps crying to see his dad, but my brother keeps saying her mother is only using him to get his attention, saying the boy will see him when it's the right time.

This lady called me last week and said he wanted to pack from the house and my brother should come move all his belongings, but my brother sent me back to her that she should throw everything away, he mentioned that the lady can frame him up or call the police for him and turn to legal battles.

I believe whatever happened between them, the boy did not cause it, and cutting off his only child emotionally and financially is not self-protection but abandonment.

I know marriage can end, but fatherhood should not. You can abandon marriage and still fully show up as a father. The two are not the same contract

All the family are tired, and even I, his closest brother, am tired. I only want him to be a responsible dad to his only child.

Please, what can I do? I really love my brother and want peace for him, however I pity his child.

Let the wife release the son to the father

Offpoint1:
Let the wife release the son to the father

She no wan loose her benefits. And he is probably already homing somewhere with another welfare maid, likely in the area. That child is probably better off with the mother for now. 🥱🥱

Which film is this

Abbeytoy:
In the last two years, things have not been going well with my brother and his wife. My brother will call me and lament about his wife's behaviour, he told me that anytime they have a misunderstanding, this lady changes the key and locks him out in the cold. Though he's the one who pays the rent and all the bills, the lady gets child support and spends lavishly on unnecessary things while the apartment is given to his wife by the government.

But the last one she did, my brother left the house and swore never to have anything to do with her again. Even my brother did it to the extent that he requested the DNA of the son; unfortunately, he's the owner.


This lady has been begging everyone, and both her parents and some family members have travelled down to our place to plead on her behalf, but my brother insisted he's not interested in the marriage again.

He was scouting with one of our cousins before, and we thought that when he got tired, he'd move back home as usual, but this man has gotten an apartment and does not let anyone know the location.

The worst of it all is that he did not talk to his 7-year-old son and didn't take on any responsibilities for him again.

The boy keeps crying to see his dad, but my brother keeps saying her mother is only using him to get his attention, saying the boy will see him when it's the right time.

This lady called me last week and said he wanted to pack from the house and my brother should come move all his belongings, but my brother sent me back to her that she should throw everything away, he mentioned that the lady can frame him up or call the police for him and turn to legal battles.

I believe whatever happened between them, the boy did not cause it, and cutting off his only child emotionally and financially is not self-protection but abandonment.

I know marriage can end, but fatherhood should not. You can abandon marriage and still fully show up as a father. The two are not the same contract

All the family are tired, and even I, his closest brother, am tired. I only want him to be a responsible dad to his only child.

Please, what can I do? I really love my brother and want peace for him, however I pity his child.

Peace is important @ ANY cost. The Kid will find his father in due time

What is wrong with women locking out their husband outside.
I read on this forum this same issue this week the same but at the end they will still look for who to plead on their behalf.

I wonder if these stories are true or you re just making them up. At this stage he should just give them space, clearly she is capable of looking after the child as she owns the house and is loaded.
At times once mental peace is priceless, evil women tend to weaponize the children of their hapless husbands against them especially if they know he cares.
These kind of narcissitic women only think in the short term, at times as a man its best to walk away from a bad and irreparable marriage even if it means walking away from the children. This is a bitter fact. The woman by her bad attitude chased him away from his child.

There is a bad simp funding this woman that is why she is behaving wayward. Oga should cut his losses and move on , ahead! ahead!!

Kobojunkie:
She no wan loose her benefits. And he is probably already homing somewhere with another welfare maid, likely in the area. That child is probably better off with the mother for now. 🥱🥱

A reason the man don't want to associate cuz he knows she's using the son for her selfish interests

Offpoint1:
A reason the man don't want to associate cuz he knows she's using the son for her selfish interests

Stop this nonsense about reason and the man or woman here. You speaks of reason yet the same man involved himself in welfare lies or felt his ego bruised because the woman did not share the welfare money she got from government so cut the bullsheet already! 🥱🥱🥱

Abbeytoy:
In the last two years, things have not been going well with my brother and his wife. My brother will call me and lament about his wife's behaviour, he told me that anytime they have a misunderstanding, this lady changes the key and locks him out in the cold. Though he's the one who pays the rent and all the bills, the lady gets child support and spends lavishly on unnecessary things while the apartment is given to his wife by the government.

But the last one she did, my brother left the house and swore never to have anything to do with her again. Even my brother did it to the extent that he requested the DNA of the son; unfortunately, he's the owner.

This lady has been begging everyone, and both her parents and some family members have travelled down to our place to plead on her behalf, but my brother insisted he's not interested in the marriage again.

He was scouting with one of our cousins before, and we thought that when he got tired, he'd move back home as usual, but this man has gotten an apartment and does not let anyone know the location.

The worst of it all is that he did not talk to his 7-year-old son and didn't take on any responsibilities for him again.

The boy keeps crying to see his dad, but my brother keeps saying her mother is only using him to get his attention, saying the boy will see him when it's the right time.

This lady called me last week and said he wanted to pack from the house and my brother should come move all his belongings, but my brother sent me back to her that she should throw everything away, he mentioned that the lady can frame him up or call the police for him and turn to legal battles.

I believe whatever happened between them, the boy did not cause it, and cutting off his only child emotionally and financially is not self-protection but abandonment.

I know marriage can end, but fatherhood should not. You can abandon marriage and still fully show up as a father. The two are not the same contract

All the family are tired, and even I, his closest brother, am tired. I only want him to be a responsible dad to his only child.

Please, what can I do? I really love my brother and want peace for him, however I pity his child.

you have tried but at this point leave him alone, a man that is running knows what his running from. He is obviously running for his life.

He doesn't trust that woman "my brother sent me back to her that she should throw everything away, he mentioned that the lady can frame him up or call the police for him and turn to legal battles".

For his life sack, Oga leave that man alone. Like he said at the right time his child will see him. He is an adult and I think he should move on. When a woman refuse to let peace reign, the best thing to do is to walk away and leave her to marry herself.

As for his wife, she should go ahead and marry another man. Her character is dangerous before someone dies.

Your brother just wants some space for now and he's not intentionally hurting his son. Just be patient, he will be in touch with his son. It's not easy to simply forget your only like that for most fathers, except the selfish and heartless ones.

Wounds from separation/divorce take time to heal and that's all he's doing - healing.

Just be patient with him. As long as he communicates with his son. Better still, you can help arrange a meeting with his son at a restaurant or somewhere, the wife's presence is not needed for now.

All the best!

Abbeytoy:
It happens in the UK, yes, they're staying in a government house, but pay the house rent, the difference is that it will be smaller than the other non-government housing. But my brother pays all the bills. Even the lady confirmed it and she claimed she'll suffer for the rest of her life for losing her caring man

The marriage is not legal over there though. They're just staying as partners. You know how they runs it over there na.

If I were to be in your brother’s shoe, I’ll never take the lady back anymore. In fact, if he knows what is good for him, he shout run away from her because she only needs your brother for nothing more than financial privilege. Imagine someone changing a lock and allowing you to sleep outside because you stay late or because of fight. Nawa ooo, since she wants to be the man in the relationship, now she can rest. As for the son, your brother cannot avoid his son. Children are being used as pawns by mothers to get into their fathers. And that’s what your brother wife is currently doing. Women are manipulative in nature, and this is one of their trades that your brother’s wife is doing.

To cut the long story short, it seems your brother married from a bad family after all or his estranged wife has bad advisers.

babakb:
So the child can grow in trauma while the deadbeat dad looks for sanity

Men want kids but hate to take care of them.

It's already too late. Once there is a breakdown in marriage, the children will have problems. You are exonerating the wife from blame.

Abbeytoy:
In the last two years, things have not been going well with my brother and his wife. My brother will call me and lament about his wife's behaviour, he told me that anytime they have a misunderstanding, this lady changes the key and locks him out in the cold. Though he's the one who pays the rent and all the bills, the lady gets child support and spends lavishly on unnecessary things while the apartment is given to his wife by the government.

But the last one she did, my brother left the house and swore never to have anything to do with her again. Even my brother did it to the extent that he requested the DNA of the son; unfortunately, he's the owner.

This lady has been begging everyone, and both her parents and some family members have travelled down to our place to plead on her behalf, but my brother insisted he's not interested in the marriage again.

He was scouting with one of our cousins before, and we thought that when he got tired, he'd move back home as usual, but this man has gotten an apartment and does not let anyone know the location.

The worst of it all is that he did not talk to his 7-year-old son and didn't take on any responsibilities for him again.

The boy keeps crying to see his dad, but my brother keeps saying her mother is only using him to get his attention, saying the boy will see him when it's the right time.

This lady called me last week and said he wanted to pack from the house and my brother should come move all his belongings, but my brother sent me back to her that she should throw everything away, he mentioned that the lady can frame him up or call the police for him and turn to legal battles.

I believe whatever happened between them, the boy did not cause it, and cutting off his only child emotionally and financially is not self-protection but abandonment.

I know marriage can end, but fatherhood should not. You can abandon marriage and still fully show up as a father. The two are not the same contract

All the family are tired, and even I, his closest brother, am tired. I only want him to be a responsible dad to his only child.

Please, what can I do? I really love my brother and want peace for him, however I pity his child.

Why run from his child? If you don't want the marriage again, file for divorce and pick up your responsibility. Period.

Anything apart from this shows that he's also irresponsible.

Kobojunkie:
This story get giant k-leg. How come your brother dey pay rent and all yet na government give them apartment and your brother pays child support ? Where in the world is this? 🥱🥱

The marriage should rightly end but since government no dey sleep for where dem dey, demand the woman go straight and ensure she file for divorce from the man in courts and ask that child support payments should be reviewed so that she can get more from your brother in the event that she is to raise the child all by herself and case closed. 🥱🥱🥱

As for the child, the woman should set him up to receive therapy and try her best to get him to accept what has happened now that he is still young and can maybe handle it much better. One thing she should absolutely never do is lie to him about the circumstances that led to the man also abandoning him. He gains more from knowing the truth and not having to have his brain diddle with lies for a long to only for him to be shattered later by the truth. 😩😩😩

So you don't see anything wrong in the Woman locking her husband outside numerous times.
I give up on you Junkie!
you are irredeemable!

babakb:
Tomorrow if the child grows up and considers his father "A collateral damage" you will jump and blame the woman and accuse her of poisoning the mind of the child against his father.

Majority of men hate their children but they will never admit it, you will realize this whenever divorce occurs.

So the man should Sit outside(in the cold) till the Wife lets him in every week.
this way he will live Long Right?

your will Advise this your to Blood brother Right?

babakb:
So the child can grow in trauma while the [b]deadbeat [/b]dad looks for sanity

Men want kids but hate to take care of them.

Did you read the part : he is locked out so many times?
so he should just Sit there in the cold Every day till the Door is opened.
will he live long this way?

You will Advise this to your blood brother Right?

BRATISLAVA:
BTW, can someone determine the actual gender of this child?

When you all want to crucify a woman, you'll tell us the same story: man pays all the bills, blah blah blah, but emphasis on he pays all the bills. Is it something they teach you guys in the school of female crucifixion? What was a family man supposed to do anyway, that you guys like telling us this line? If he doesn't pay the bills, who should— her parents? Her ex boyfriend? Her family??

Strungup78 comes to mind.

Until we hear from this woman, nobody can give any real advice. Especially not with the "he pays all the bills" line intended to destroy women.

You Have a Problem about the Bill payment....
But you don't see any thing wrong in the Woman locking him outside in the cold Numerous times.
you want him to die?

is this the Advise you will give your Blood brother

Abbeytoy:
Don't try to be smart by half...

I am not really interested in thier issue and I never blame the wife in the narration. All I want is how to convince him not to abandon his son.

So, tell us, does he pay all the bills? Or was that part of the crucifixion?

Abbeytoy:
In the last two years, things have not been going well with my brother and his wife. My brother will call me and lament about his wife's behaviour, he told me that anytime they have a misunderstanding, this lady changes the key and locks him out in the cold. Though he's the one who pays the rent and all the bills, the lady gets child support and spends lavishly on unnecessary things while the apartment is given to his wife by the government.

But the last one she did, my brother left the house and swore never to have anything to do with her again. Even my brother did it to the extent that he requested the DNA of the son; unfortunately, he's the owner.

This lady has been begging everyone, and both her parents and some family members have travelled down to our place to plead on her behalf, but my brother insisted he's not interested in the marriage again.

He was scouting with one of our cousins before, and we thought that when he got tired, he'd move back home as usual, but this man has gotten an apartment and does not let anyone know the location.

The worst of it all is that he did not talk to his 7-year-old son and didn't take on any responsibilities for him again.

The boy keeps crying to see his dad, but my brother keeps saying her mother is only using him to get his attention, saying the boy will see him when it's the right time.

This lady called me last week and said he wanted to pack from the house and my brother should come move all his belongings, but my brother sent me back to her that she should throw everything away, he mentioned that the lady can frame him up or call the police for him and turn to legal battles.

I believe whatever happened between them, the boy did not cause it, and cutting off his only child emotionally and financially is not self-protection but abandonment.

I know marriage can end, but fatherhood should not. You can abandon marriage and still fully show up as a father. The two are not the same contract

All the family are tired, and even I, his closest brother, am tired. I only want him to be a responsible dad to his only child.

Please, what can I do? I really love my brother and want peace for him, however I pity his child.

At least if he doesn't want to see his wife again, he shouldn't abandoned the child, he should use you as proxy to be sending child support to the child, and every documentation should be recorded, incase of future evidence

Kobojunkie:
Wat in the world? How big are those checks that people would prefer them to progress? 🤔

For people who don't work they mean the world especially when the bills are being paid by someone else.

BRATISLAVA:
So, tell us, does he pay all the bills? Or was that part of the crucifixion?

He said he paid the bills, and his wife confirmed it.

Melancho:
I stopped reading at the part that his wife always lock him out from his house. That's first problem, some men are just weak. Simple.

Stop this nonsense. This is UK, and the law has a way of almost always siding with the female gender. If it was Nigeria, I would have cursed the guy for giving his wife the audacity to get away with such. But in the UK, he has to be careful. If not, he might end up in prison.

Abbeytoy:
In the last two years, things have not been going well with my brother and his wife. My brother will call me and lament about his wife's behaviour, he told me that anytime they have a misunderstanding, this lady changes the key and locks him out in the cold. Though he's the one who pays the rent and all the bills, the lady gets child support and spends lavishly on unnecessary things while the apartment is given to his wife by the government.

But the last one she did, my brother left the house and swore never to have anything to do with her again. Even my brother did it to the extent that he requested the DNA of the son; unfortunately, he's the owner.

This lady has been begging everyone, and both her parents and some family members have travelled down to our place to plead on her behalf, but my brother insisted he's not interested in the marriage again.

He was scouting with one of our cousins before, and we thought that when he got tired, he'd move back home as usual, but this man has gotten an apartment and does not let anyone know the location.

The worst of it all is that he did not talk to his 7-year-old son and didn't take on any responsibilities for him again.

The boy keeps crying to see his dad, but my brother keeps saying her mother is only using him to get his attention, saying the boy will see him when it's the right time.

This lady called me last week and said he wanted to pack from the house and my brother should come move all his belongings, but my brother sent me back to her that she should throw everything away, he mentioned that the lady can frame him up or call the police for him and turn to legal battles.

I believe whatever happened between them, the boy did not cause it, and cutting off his only child emotionally and financially is not self-protection but abandonment.

I know marriage can end, but fatherhood should not. You can abandon marriage and still fully show up as a father. The two are not the same contract

All the family are tired, and even I, his closest brother, am tired. I only want him to be a responsible dad to his only child.

Please, what can I do? I really love my brother and want peace for him, however I pity his child.

But you said it that he said the child will see him when the time is right. So leave him, he knows what he's doing

If you have never witnessed frustration from women, you go blame this man.

Most women are agents of the devil.

If you need your sanity and your life, stay far away from a troublesome woman.

The Bible even says, " It is better to live in the ceiling of the house than with a trouble maker woman"
Another place it says. "IT IS BETTER TO SOUJOURN IN THE WILDERNESS THAN WITH A TROUBLESOME WOMAN"

The meaning of this in this modern day is " leave home and go find peace else where, instead of staying and beating her to death"

Abbeytoy:
He said he paid the bills, and his wife confirmed it.

ALL the bills?

Kobojunkie:
Op later insists that the breakup was due to the woman refusing to give a portion of money she gets from the government with the man as if he deserved a share.🥱🥱🥱

My guess is the man may be off with another welfare maid somewhere else , repeating the same pattern, and not telling his family. Some habits are hard to break once one starts. 🥱🥱

Benefit scroungers? Partners in...

This guy insists the bro pays all the bills, so it's is getting blurrier. The closer you look, the less you see.

pocohantas:
They always have to add that part.
Every man is paying all the bills online.

As for OP's brother, I had to go read his story well. He has to be responsible for the child. He might not see the child immediately until he is calm, but if indeed they had a bond, then he a phone call would suffice until tempers are calm to know what next.

I mean, if they didn't add that, you wouldn't believe em, right? Badge of originality right there.

I didn't read the story throughly, though. Primarily because of the changeling that's the focus of the tale —the pronouns are discombobulated. Lost interest. Because why should anyone have to suffer through the unpaid labor of finding out who is who, just because they're trying to help the OP?

But if it's his offspring then he'd better take care of it.