₦airaland Forum

eepeepook:
23 January. Kunle has come once again to seek attention. I blame the children here who believe women exist in this forum.

This is no Kunle, mr genius. This is a REAL situation abd you don't need to be a genius to see it

Ibkay32:
I’m a single guy, and there are days the loneliness hits me deeper than I expect. Sometimes it feels heavy, like something is missing. There are moments I just wish I had someone to talk to someone who would listen, understand, and remind me that I’m not alone but 🥲

Lol😂 Sorry bro don’t cry, clean your face😂

Sexyrosey:
The Loneliness No One Talks About

It’s a different kind of pain to feel lonely while lying next to someone who is supposed to love you.
To be married, yet feel emotionally single.
To wake up every day craving affection, attention, and connection… and still go to bed empty.

People think loneliness only comes from being alone.
But sometimes it comes from being with someone who no longer sees you, hears you, or desires you.

I miss being wanted.
I miss being touched with intention, spoken to with softness, loved with effort.
I miss feeling like I matter.

I’m tired of pretending I’m okay.
Tired of acting strong when inside I feel invisible.
Tired of pouring love into a space that feels cold and silent.

This is not about perfection.
It’s about presence.
About romance.
About feeling chosen, not just tolerated.

The hardest part is knowing that I’m still capable of love, passion, and deep connection — but I’m living in a place where none of it is returned.

And that kind of loneliness… hurts more than being alone ever could.

It's like you're unemployed abi?

Madam you case has a solution. It's difficult but solvable.

I can however tell you that the signs were probably there all along. You just misread them or didn't notice all together.

Also, I know your husband probably has his side of the story to tell as well. But the truth is that intimacy is dead. It can be reawakened but will require effort and a willingness to take that effort on both sides. If this fails, then am afraid your marriage is almost a carcass

Jamie248:
➜It's like you're unemployed abi?

Employed individuals don't struggle with the mental illness that is loneliness? 🥱🥱🥱

Tenrack:
I'm also single. Beta start to dey learn to love yourself and your own company.

You Dey mind the amugbo😂

Sexyrosey:
The Loneliness No One Talks About

It’s a different kind of pain to feel lonely while lying next to someone who is supposed to love you.
To be married, yet feel emotionally single.
To wake up every day craving affection, attention, and connection… and still go to bed empty.

People think loneliness only comes from being alone.
But sometimes it comes from being with someone who no longer sees you, hears you, or desires you.

I miss being wanted.
I miss being touched with intention, spoken to with softness, loved with effort.
I miss feeling like I matter.

I’m tired of pretending I’m okay.
Tired of acting strong when inside I feel invisible.
Tired of pouring love into a space that feels cold and silent.

This is not about perfection.
It’s about presence.
About romance.
About feeling chosen, not just tolerated.

The hardest part is knowing that I’m still capable of love, passion, and deep connection — but I’m living in a place where none of it is returned.

And that kind of loneliness… hurts more than being alone ever could.

My current state of Act, mind, etc. communication do not work here I guess, it’s bitten deep more than that stage

Your state looks more like the affections were once there, some actions or inaction might have caused the loss in affections.

Create a space for distance and let go or live in the facade for ever

Metcheew, then get a divorce.

zubinike:
➜My current state of Act, mind, etc. communication do not work here I guess, it’s bitten deep more than that stage Your state looks more like the affections were once there, some actions or inaction might have caused the loss in affections.
Create a space for distance and let go or live in the facade for ever

That (in red) sounds a lot like a cursed life... and the children... will likely go on to repeat the same in their own lives; we have seen this enough times to realize it the generational curse people wish never comes on them. 🥱🥱🥱

The expectation is having someone drooling over you.
But, have you attempted to drool over the same person?

As a single guy I feel your pain, because categorically am dealing with it as well, only me the room singing, cooking and watching films alone is crazy, I just wish i had a partner to talk to already.... find something doing that will take u mind off being lonely, trust me you will feel better.

Sexyrosey:
The Loneliness No One Talks About

It’s a different kind of pain to feel lonely while lying next to someone who is supposed to love you.
To be married, yet feel emotionally single.
To wake up every day craving affection, attention, and connection… and still go to bed empty.

People think loneliness only comes from being alone.
But sometimes it comes from being with someone who no longer sees you, hears you, or desires you.

I miss being wanted.
I miss being touched with intention, spoken to with softness, loved with effort.
I miss feeling like I matter.

I’m tired of pretending I’m okay.
Tired of acting strong when inside I feel invisible.
Tired of pouring love into a space that feels cold and silent.

This is not about perfection.
It’s about presence.
About romance.
About feeling chosen, not just tolerated.

The hardest part is knowing that I’m still capable of love, passion, and deep connection — but I’m living in a place where none of it is returned.

And that kind of loneliness… hurts more than being alone ever could.

Have you tried talking to the other party about it? Not once o. Like 5 times.

Kobojunkie:
Employed individuals don't struggle with the mental illness that is loneliness? 🥱🥱🥱

Not in Nigeria

A FUNCTIONAL SYSTEM is a group in which individuals have rules, roles, and relationships.

DYSFUNCTIONAL is the extent to which an individual cannot get his/her needs met within a system.

To become a fully functioning adult, one moves developmentally from being dependent to being independent to being interdependent. Stephen Covey (1989) calls it the maturity continuum, and John Bradshaw (1988) refers to it as becoming whole.

Regardless of the terminology, it basically means moving from being dependent on others to being able to work together with other adults, each independent of the other, but jointly, as equal partners.


NOTE:
In generational poverty, the primary role of a real man is to physically work hard, to be a fighter, and to be a lover. In middle class, a real man is a provider.
If one follows the implications of a male identity as one who is a fighter and a lover, then one can understand why the male who takes this identity (of fighter and lover as his own) cannot have a stable life. Of the three responses to life-to flee, flow, or fight-he can only fight or flee. So when the stress gets high, he fights, then flees from the law and the people closest to him, leaving his home. Either way he is gone. When the heat dies down, he returns-to an initial welcome, then more fights. The cycle begins again.


Being in poverty is rarely about a lack of intelligence or ability. ? Many individuals stay in poverty because they don't know there is a choice-and if they do know that, have no one to teach them hidden rules or provide resources. ? Schools are virtually the only places where students can learn the choices and rules of the middle class. The culture of poverty has some universal characteristics which transcend regional, rural-urban, and even national differences ... There are remarkable similarities in family structure, interpersonal relations, time orientations, value systems, spending patterns, and the sense of community in lowerclass settlements i

Sirseedorf:
As a single guy I feel your pain, because categorically am dealing with it as well, only me the room singing, cooking and watching films alone is crazy, I just wish i had a partner to talk to already.... find something doing that will take u mind off being lonely, trust me you will feel better.

Loneliness has nothing to do with single hood. Please get professional mental health therapy as soon as possible.🤐

First of all, the solution of your problem is in the Holy Bible. Search and you shall find. Search the scriptures.

Also, don't leave your marriage: even if you leave your husband for another man, you'll still experience the same thing there after a short while and regret leaving your husband. If your husband is stubborn,he'll never want you back.

Moreover, before you read the Bible, let me give you a clue to your solution( I don't wanna speak authoritatively on the subject, cos I'm not married myself, and I've never been married, yet I believe that I've wisdom to offer). If you found out you married the wrong person(which is sad), pray and try to win their heart again. Don't depend on past love: create new love everyday, and you will find that it will work, and you will love each other even to old age and till if death do you part; which is how it should be. Shalom!

Get a side chick who will show you love.

Trust me, your love life will be renewed.

Many ladies out there just looking for someone to show them love.

Don’t let ONE lady make your life miserable when you have several options out there desperately wanting to be loved.

Better don’t let depression get to you! You have just one life, live it to the fullest!

QuinQQ:
The is like saying the warmth you get on a cold day from another human body lying next to you is same as the heat you get from a heater!

That was me saying one's happiness should not be dependent on what is not tenable. Seek it from the simplest of things that are at your disposal. Life isn't meant to be as complex as we are making it be.

Sexyrosey:
The Loneliness No One Talks About

It’s a different kind of pain to feel lonely while lying next to someone who is supposed to love you.
To be married, yet feel emotionally single.
To wake up every day craving affection, attention, and connection… and still go to bed empty.

People think loneliness only comes from being alone.
But sometimes it comes from being with someone who no longer sees you, hears you, or desires you.

I miss being wanted.
I miss being touched with intention, spoken to with softness, loved with effort.
I miss feeling like I matter.

I’m tired of pretending I’m okay.
Tired of acting strong when inside I feel invisible.
Tired of pouring love into a space that feels cold and silent.

This is not about perfection.
It’s about presence.
About romance.
About feeling chosen, not just tolerated.

The hardest part is knowing that I’m still capable of love, passion, and deep connection — but I’m living in a place where none of it is returned.

And that kind of loneliness… hurts more than being alone ever could.

I understand and feel your plight. But I advice you have a sit down with your hubby and discuss this heart to heart and dint hide your feelings or emotions. This is necessary before things escalate.

Juliearth:
That was me saying one's happiness should not be dependent on what is not tenable. Seek it from the simplest of things that are at your disposal. Life isn't meant to be as complex as we are making it be.

But where did he say it is not tenable
Here is what he wrote:
"There are moments I just wish I had someone to talk to someone who would listen, understand, and remind me that I’m not alone"

His soul is clearly telling him something. I don't think what it is telling him is to go inwards, isolate himself more!

H

QuinQQ:
But where did he say it is not tenable
Here is what he wrote:
"There are moments I just wish I had someone to talk to someone who would listen, understand, and remind me that I’m not alone"

His soul is clearly telling him something. I don't think what it is telling him is to go inwards, isolate himself more!

If you understood my context, especially my opening statement, we won't be here. He desires companionship and I asserted that there's nothing stopping him from achieving that. However, if that cannot be possible or whilst he is working on that, he should perhaps deploy an interim plan: looking inward and finding happiness from the simplest of things... I hope this is clear enough... Should it not be, let me know. I'm a teacher, patience runs in my blood.

Sexyrosey:
The Loneliness No One Talks About

It’s a different kind of pain to feel lonely while lying next to someone who is supposed to love you.
To be married, yet feel emotionally single.
To wake up every day craving affection, attention, and connection… and still go to bed empty.

People think loneliness only comes from being alone.
But sometimes it comes from being with someone who no longer sees you, hears you, or desires you.

I miss being wanted.
I miss being touched with intention, spoken to with softness, loved with effort.
I miss feeling like I matter.

I’m tired of pretending I’m okay.
Tired of acting strong when inside I feel invisible.
Tired of pouring love into a space that feels cold and silent.

This is not about perfection.
It’s about presence.
About romance.
About feeling chosen, not just tolerated.

The hardest part is knowing that I’m still capable of love, passion, and deep connection — but I’m living in a place where none of it is returned.

And that kind of loneliness… hurts more than being alone ever could.

What tangible effort have you made so far to improve the situation? Is physical intimacy missing from the marriage? is he denying you your conjugal rights? is he providing you the conjugal right , but does not care if you are satisfied? are you expecting romantic dates and gifts, but not getting them? i can tell you have kids? I have a feeling you have an expectation problem? i cant tell whether your expectation is justified or otherwise. From your comment in 2024, i can tell you are so emotionally starved and even on a dating forum? If you are already on that path, turn back now as you will surely enjoy the attention , possibly touch, trigger, stolen sex for a short while and then realise the joy is very shortlived, as the roller coaster of guilt, disappointment will keep hitting you harder. Seek help from trained counsellors , not necessarily pastors or imams oh. If you provide answers to the question above, i may suggest a different approach.

Juliearth:
H




If you understood my context, especially my opening statement, we won't be here. He desires companionship and I asserted that there's nothing stopping him from achieving that. However, if that cannot be possible or whilst he is working on that, he should perhaps deploy an interim plan: looking inward and finding happiness from the simplest of things... I hope this is clear enough... Should it not be, let me know. I'm a teacher, patience runs in my blood.

Not all teahers though. But u r ok. What level do you teach? You seem to be good. Maybe I employ u

HacheNoire:
Get a side chick who will show you love.

Trust me, your love life will be renewed.

Many ladies out there just looking for someone to show them love.

Don’t let ONE lady make your life miserable when you have several options out there desperately wanting to be loved.

Better don’t let depression get to you! You have just one life, live it to the fullest!

Sexyrosey here's very good advice 4 ya:
Get a side chick!

Sirseedorf:
As a single guy I feel your pain, because categorically am dealing with it as well, only me the room singing, cooking and watching films alone is crazy, I just wish i had a partner to talk to already.... find something doing that will take u mind off being lonely, trust me you will feel better.

Feel what pain? She is MARRIED WITH CHILDREN and has a very demanding job!

zubinike:
My current state of Act, mind, etc. communication do not work here I guess, it’s bitten deep more than that stage

Your state looks more like the affections were once there, some actions or inaction might have caused the loss in affections.

Create a space for distance and let go or live in the facade for ever

What's that your current state? Care to elaborate?

QuinQQ:
Sexyrosey here's very good advice 4 ya:
Get a side chick!

Boss, it’s the bitter and same time honest truth.

No need telling lies or disguising.

Some women will make you forget about home and your children when they give you mad love

You know those ones that call every 30 minutes JUST checking on you. Kill you with food, sex and loyalty, and the only thing they demand from you is loyalty and trust.

They are so much out there. They just need love, nothing else!

thomas2024:
Lol😂 Sorry bro don’t cry, clean your face😂

What's so funny about a soul saying he's deeply lonely. Some of you people have no heart. None!

HacheNoire:
Boss, it’s the bitter and same time honest truth.

No need telling lies or disguising.

Some women will make you forget about home and your children when they give you mad love

You know those ones that call every 30 minutes JUST checking on you. Kill you with food, sex and loyalty, and the only thing they demand from you is loyalty and trust.

They are so much out there. They just need love, nothing else!

BUT she's a WOMAN!
MARRIED WITH KIDS!!!😂😅

QuinQQ:
BUT she's a WOMAN!
MARRIED WITH KIDS!!!😂😅

🏃 🏃 🏃

Listing to tuning away by Craig David

HacheNoire:
🏃 🏃 🏃

Listing to tuning away by Craig David

Come on, you no longer think a side chick will solve her problems?