Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / New
Stats: 3,152,457 members, 7,816,068 topics. Date: Friday, 03 May 2024 at 02:07 AM

Married But Lonely - Family - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Married But Lonely (21000 Views)

Married, But Living As Single / I'm Getting Married But I'm Not Happy / Married But I'm Not Connected With My Husband, Hence I'm Depressed (2) (3) (4)

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (Reply) (Go Down)

Married But Lonely by Nobody: 8:40pm On Dec 17, 2023
How do you handle loneliness in marriage?
There's no intention of cheating, but lonely.
Like a very deep space between you and your partner, due to the fact that he has a particular lifestyle (addiction) inflicting stress on everyone in the family that you don't like, but he has refused to change.
This has removed love, intim.acy and affection in the marriage, thereby making it look so empty. Like you both can stay months without touching each other.
How do you manage such home/relationship?

19 Likes 5 Shares

Re: Married But Lonely by TimT: 8:42pm On Dec 17, 2023
Greatmind653:
How do you handle loneliness in marriage?
There's no intention of cheating, but lonely.
Like a very deep space between you and your partner, due to the fact that he has a particular lifestyle (addiction) inflicting stress on everyone in the family that you don't like, [/b]but he has refused to change.
This has removed love, intim.acy and affection in the marriage, thereby making it look so empty[b]. Like you both can stay months without touching each other.
How do you manage such home/relationship?

If there are kids, then develop care, attention and time to them..
If there are no kids then divorce and leave the marriage...
For a loveless marriage can lead you depression...
Marriage is not bondage....
There are a million people out there that can give/make your life a sense of direction and give you joy... Don't die slowly in a loveless marriage

96 Likes 8 Shares

Re: Married But Lonely by Zonefree(m): 8:45pm On Dec 17, 2023
due to the fact that he has a particular lifestyle (addiction) inflicting stress on everyone in the family that you don't like, but he has refused to change


What could be the addiction? Gambling

12 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Married But Lonely by Kobojunkie: 8:57pm On Dec 17, 2023
Greatmind653:
■ How do you handle loneliness in marriage?
There's no intention of cheating, but lonely.
Like a very deep space between you and your partner, due to the fact that he has a particular lifestyle (addiction) inflicting stress on everyone in the family that you don't like, but he has refused to change.
This has removed love, intim.acy and affection in the marriage, thereby making it look so empty. Like you both can stay months without touching each other. How do you manage such home/relationship?
You will be shocked to know that you are among the majority when it comes to marriage. Loneliness in marriage is quite common and most try their best to cover for it not realizing that one can't easily put a lid on such things. undecided

When a cause is known, facing it head on as a couple --- provided you both recognize and agree it is an issue that needs dealing with--- is usually were you start, and marriage counseling works well for such situations. When both parties are not one --- disagreement on the cause and maybe the course of action--- then the solution might be divorce citing irreconcilable differences. Alternatively, the partner negatively impacted --- the lonely individual in the marriage ---, while choosing to remain in the marriage, at least focus more of the angst and attention on developing self --- paying tremendous focus to mental health of course-- and maybe even aspects of the relationship that are still worth considering. lipsrsealed

5 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Married But Lonely by Foodqueen(f): 9:14pm On Dec 17, 2023
Break it down and explain whatup.

9 Likes

Re: Married But Lonely by Nobody: 9:17pm On Dec 17, 2023
TimT:

If there are kids, then develop care, attention and time to them..
If there are no kids then divorce and leave the marriage...
For a loveless marriage can lead you depression...
Marriage is not bondage....
There are a million people out there that can give/make your life a sense of direction and give you joy... Don't die slowly in a loveless marriage
caring for the kids, most times does not feel in those gap though

22 Likes 3 Shares

Re: Married But Lonely by Kobojunkie: 9:22pm On Dec 17, 2023
Greatmind653:
■ caring for the kids, most times does not feel in those gap though
Before you got married, you had dreams and things you wished to accomplish in life. You were not born with a dick stuck inside your vagina from your mother's womb, so you came into this world with a complete brain capable of dreams and desires. Now, is a good time to reconsider those dreams and desires and begin working again, towards accomplishing them. It may have been so long but surely it cannot be too late for all of them. undecided

30 Likes 3 Shares

Re: Married But Lonely by Kingrshd3: 9:42pm On Dec 17, 2023
Greatmind653:
How do you handle loneliness in marriage?
There's no intention of cheating, but lonely.
Like a very deep space between you and your partner, due to the fact that he has a particular lifestyle (addiction) inflicting stress on everyone in the family that you don't like, but he has refused to change.
This has removed love, intim.acy and affection in the marriage, thereby making it look so empty. Like you both can stay months without touching each other.
How do you manage such home/relationship?


I can see u still have much more to say but u are just trying to put it in a simple manner or way please can u elucidate the addiction he is finding it difficult to stop?

4 Likes

Re: Married But Lonely by Klass99(f): 9:56pm On Dec 17, 2023

8 Likes 1 Share

Re: Married But Lonely by Fountainofyouth(f): 10:08pm On Dec 17, 2023
Before you got married, there are things you did that made you happy right? Career, hobbies, hangouts etc right? Redirect your happiness and fulfillment on that, because marriage is not a bed of roses, it will humble you and shake your resolve, that's why I tell people not to seek happiness from another human, happiness can only come from within one's self, that alone can cancel any feeling of loneliness, all the best.

36 Likes 8 Shares

Re: Married But Lonely by Nobody: 10:21pm On Dec 17, 2023
Fountainofyouth:
[b]Before you got married, there are things you did that made you happy right? Career, hobbies, hangouts etc right? [/b]Redirect your happiness and fulfillment on that, because marriage is not a bed of roses, it will humble you and shake your resolve, that's why I tell people not to seek happiness from another human, happiness can only come from within one's self, that alone can cancel any feeling of loneliness, all the best.
Yes
Re: Married But Lonely by Nicepoker(m): 10:30pm On Dec 17, 2023
When you were grinning from ear to ear on your pre wedding pictures. Didn't you think of this? grin

7 Likes

Re: Married But Lonely by flokii: 12:05am On Dec 18, 2023
It's either the guy drinks, is into betting or a chronic womanizer that follows anything in skirts.. sadly such people hardly change.
@OP You go carry your cross like that.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Married But Lonely by LooneyLester: 4:33am On Dec 18, 2023
Go out and flex


Hop on many deeks , taste them all , satisfy yourself to the maxim


You could be lucky and get forked on a yacht



Don't come and kill yourself with stress

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: Married But Lonely by Typing: 5:15am On Dec 18, 2023
Greatmind653:
How do you handle loneliness in marriage?
There's no intention of cheating, but lonely.
Like a very deep space between you and your partner, due to the fact that he has a particular lifestyle (addiction) inflicting stress on everyone in the family that you don't like, but he has refused to change.
This has removed love, intim.acy and affection in the marriage, thereby making it look so empty. Like you both can stay months without touching each other.
How do you manage such home/relationship?


Check your mail
Re: Married But Lonely by Jayboi(m): 5:59am On Dec 18, 2023
If it is an addiction that started in the marriage then first learn to check what you have been doing that he complains of and after you can then face him. Issues creep into marriages when there are two masters in the boat. You just need to submit and then pray to God. On the addiction, talk to him, invite older and experienced friends of the family. If you want your marriage to come back, fight for it and don't let events dictate.

16 Likes

Re: Married But Lonely by YoungBlackRico(m): 6:16am On Dec 18, 2023
Fountainofyouth:
Before you got married, there are things you did that made you happy right? Career, hobbies, hangouts etc right? Redirect your happiness and fulfillment on that, because marriage is not a bed of roses, it will humble you and shake your resolve, that's why I tell people not to seek happiness from another human, happiness can only come from within one's self, that alone can cancel any feeling of loneliness, all the best.
Fact!...if you need others to be happy or feel good about yourself, you're never truly happy.

14 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Married But Lonely by Nobody: 7:26am On Dec 18, 2023
Jayboi:
[b]drop your ego. It's the best you can do. First learn to check what you have been doing that he complains of and after you can then face him. [/b]Issues creep into marriages when there are two masters in the boat. You just need to submit and then pray to God. On the addiction, talk to him, invite older and experienced friends of the family. If you want your marriage to come back, fight for it and don't let events dictate.
there's nothing he's complaining. Rather his chosen lifestyle is what is killing the love and affection here.

3 Likes

Re: Married But Lonely by Tokskob2008: 7:28am On Dec 18, 2023
The addiction that created the space, weren't you aware of it before marriage? You thought you could manage it or it will simply disappear with time?

If it wasn't there before, have you tried finding out what brought about the addiction or you don't care too?

Lastly, what have you tried or done to help resolve the issue at hand?

4 Likes

Re: Married But Lonely by TheWinterBird(f): 7:58am On Dec 18, 2023
Did you date appropriately [no sex, no rushing into the marriage because of pregnancy] before marrying him? Because if you dated properly, you would've gotten to know him well, along with this unnamed addiction that was likely there before the marriage and determine whether you two were compatible before moving forward into the marriage.

2 Likes

Re: Married But Lonely by Darlingme(f): 8:31am On Dec 18, 2023
Do what makes you happy.
Go build your dreams.
Connect with friends.
Stop sitting down at home and overburdening yourself with someone else's choice of lifestyle.
Once you start concentrating on yourself, doing what makes you happy, you will discovered you were only depriving yourself.
Be fine. You can overcome

4 Likes

Re: Married But Lonely by Mindlog: 9:12am On Dec 18, 2023
Jayboi:
drop your ego. It's the best you can do. First learn to check what you have been doing that he complains of and after you can then face him. Issues creep into marriages when there are two masters in the boat. You just need to submit and then pray to God. On the addiction, talk to him, invite older and experienced friends of the family. If you want your marriage to come back, fight for it and don't let events dictate.

You started out your "counselling" with allocating the cause to the wife as if a man do not have the capacity to be dysfunctional on his own!.

Fight for a marriage with an addict who have no desire to change, Uncle you seem to live in an alternate universe.

Go to rehabilitation facilities.....many men, don't get visitations from their wives and even their own birth families, it shows they are tired of his shenanigans.

7 Likes 1 Share

Re: Married But Lonely by Acidosis(m): 9:55am On Dec 18, 2023
There is a difference between loneliness and feeling lonely. The former is a chronic situation resulting mainly from rejection or physical isolation. The latter is completely and absolutely normal in marriage as it's only a passing emotion.

Your case is an exemption given the other and more implicating issues like addiction and loss of affection. As per feeling lonely in marriage, it is normal. If you want your marriage, then focus on fixing the more implicating issues.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Married But Lonely by finallybusy: 11:01am On Dec 18, 2023
Fix yourself before marrying, una no go hear. If you were lonely as a single person, marriage will not fix the situation. If you were boring when single, marriage won’t turn you interesting overnight. Become your best self before inviting another into your life.

2 Likes

Re: Married But Lonely by besayag: 3:55pm On Dec 18, 2023
U just spoke in parables, nothing meaningful in all the above sentence, so any one giving advice is just guessing

1 Like

Re: Married But Lonely by Antoeni(m): 3:56pm On Dec 18, 2023
Then Be Singing Asake
" Lonely At The Top"

2 Likes

Re: Married But Lonely by tellwisdom: 3:57pm On Dec 18, 2023
Greatmind653:
How do you handle loneliness in marriage?
There's no intention of cheating, but lonely.
Like a very deep space between you and your partner, due to the fact that he has a particular lifestyle (addiction) inflicting stress on everyone in the family that you don't like, but he has refused to change.
This has removed love, intim.acy and affection in the marriage, thereby making it look so empty. Like you both can stay months without touching each other.
How do you manage such home/relationship?


Come let me help you.. but do you have big yansh??

1 Like

Re: Married But Lonely by richie240: 3:57pm On Dec 18, 2023
Courtship is by far different from marriage.
During the former, you both pretend by putting ur best foot forward, but after d wedding, u let ur guards down.

Sorry, I wish I could tell u any other thing other than "it's ur cross, bear it".

#4 better for worse.
cool
Tokskob2008:
The addiction that created the space, weren't you aware of it before marriage? You thought you could manage it or it will simply disappear with time?

If it wasn't there before, have you tried finding out what brought about the addiction or you don't care too?

Lastly, what have you tried or done to help resolve the issue at hand?
Funny enuff,many see this flaw but still whyne themselves that ''i can change him/her after d wedding''.

1 Like

Re: Married But Lonely by id4sho(m): 3:59pm On Dec 18, 2023
tongue
Re: Married But Lonely by ednut1(m): 4:00pm On Dec 18, 2023
As you lay your bed-----------. Enjoy your decision and leave us alone

6 Likes

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (Reply)

Man Beat His Wife For Not Calling Him "Sir" / Man Bites Off Mother-in-law’s Finger For Scattering His Marriage / His Parents Are Against Him For Wanting To Get His Own House

(Go Up)

Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health
religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket

Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10)

Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 43
Disclaimer: Every Nairaland member is solely responsible for anything that he/she posts or uploads on Nairaland.