₦airaland Forum

UnknownQueen:
No I'm not trying to corrupt her and create problems...Marriage is a societal construct and that's why it's not working..
I'm just trying to explore with her or him so we don't die of loneliness..
We don't necessarily have to F.....we can just explore ..

By trying to turn her into a lesbian like you?Wehdone

QuinQ:
What surprises me is how some of yiu folks will be on NL for years and still not be able to know the "voice" of a Nigerian woman. That's how I know that Kobojunkie cannot be a natural Nigerian woman. Can't you tell that I cannot be a Nigerian woman? I'm amazed at you folks who can't recognize "voice". Unless the person posts very little, you can't fool me!

Sigh....another goal post.....

Talking with you is not interesting at all...

UnknownQueen:
You're right Kobo, and it's the reason why I've decided to go this route...

I'm ready to bear whatever consequences come with it....

After all I'm presently eating and drinking this consequence, nothing scares me again.

Care to elaborate? What consequences are you currently eating and drinking?

Solofresh2:
The issue with you women is that when the finally does these things, you will take it for granted and in the process pushing him away

Can’t say you lying.
Females are truly complex and perplexing

dontrulee:
Different strokes for different folks.
I like being alone, and I don't like too much talks. I can be with you and hardly speak ten sentences. I like to maintain my own lane

It is people who have not been really alone for a long time that always say they love being aone for long. Ask those who've been in solitary confinement

bukatyne:
@bold:

You genuinely believe this is all a husband needs to do to be a 'good husband'?

It is well.

Actually, yes. You build on that. There are not too many men like that out there available to you as a single older lady with kids

ariesbull:
You are suffering green grass syndrome.... You think you can get these things outside.... Dem go knack you... Your V will do Gbim

Then it will be too late .. focus on your kids

Actually good advice on the whole

Wotowotoman:
Ogbeni, wetin be green grass syndrome? Na grass is greener syndrome you dey try talk? Na wa o. And you go think say you sounded very smart 😂😂😂

What did he say that didn't sound smart??

Denko2721987:
Typical modern day woman.. Everything is always about them, their mumu feelings and their mumu emotions. Me! Me! Me! Me! - very self centered bunch. Na them go disturb God for marriage, the moment then enter, them done begin whine with cries for one emotional validation like there aren't other things to do in the marriage. Women of those days didn't even get half the support this current women get from their husbands yet they were warriors of the home front supporting their husbands and families. These ones own na how to fulfill one mumu Korean movie fantasy and receive external dïck. Abeg commot from the marriage since the streets already done they call you, mitheww. As someone up there roghtly said, na Green Grass Syndrome they worry am

🤣😂
Can’t say u lying
Korean movies and Zeeworld!🤣

merits:
Go and marry and be happy.

Why not provide him the female and money to maintain a home

Denko2721987:
There is no guarantee anyone's marriage will make them happy oh. Infact it may even make you more miserable so don't get it twisted.

No mind am

Jomonix:
It hurts to be alone

She didn't say she's alone. She's married with children. She's LONELY. Know the difference

Hmmmmm2024:
Even though I am a man, I can understand your pain. That's why in America, marriage like yours would have ended long ago... marriage is not a death sentence...it's not suppose to make one unhappy...the society has brainwashed people to believe many nonsense...like if a family doesn't have a male child they have not given birth, like you don't have to walk out of that marriage because your mum did not leave your father, so many nonsense that often lead to depression and suicide

And how is it working out for America? Their suicide rate is about 3 times Nigeria's. Not to talk of drug abuse

QuinQ:
😅🤣
Well-said!

Haha

QuinQ:
Only people who never had dogs will say this. It is EXACTLY like having a baby that is totally dependent on you

Never had

JimD:
I smell the gaslighting. Nothing your partner would ever do can be enough Sexyrosey

Maybe not. Her very first post on Nairaland is about this. She sounds like someone who has become TIRED after trying so much

QuinQ:
OP is a WOMAN! Married with kids!
Do you people read at all?

We know

ultraviolet27:
Let's chat on watsapp E-mail me first I am not married for now and I don't want to be in any serious relationship let's just be chatting each other

Are you fine? How old? Is tribe important? I'd email you

tonyemmanuel:
That have been my feeling until recently

What happened recently?

Eriokanmi:
Men love affectionately when her character is right.

Stop generalizing. She sounds like a decent person. Even said her husband is a good person

chris81964:
I have read it again. It does not mention the gender of the writer.

See below

advanceDNA:
Follow up comments nit the first one she used to open the thread

Right. And her very first comment on Nairaland below

joseph1832:
what exactly does a man needs to do, before being called 'good husband'?

In this case, be emotionally available.
Do all the little romantic things, not just be a good provider and a good person

fitinwell:
This energy you spent talking to the public on Nairaland forum... Channel that energy to communicating with your own spouse.. teach him incase he doesn't understand.

Even if it is arranged marriage... Learn to teach each other... Marriage is a lifetime journey..

Not a bus Stop .

LordReed:
Have you spoken to him or are you one of those who expect their partner to read their minds?

But she said she's tried but it's like "pouring love into a space that feels cold and silent", and she's TIRED!

QuinQ:
Care to elaborate? What consequences are you currently eating and drinking?

Peace, Peace and Much more peace raise to power 1.5 million.

Zackattack:
No. He should be like Davido🤦‍♀️
So introverts cannot be a husband too. If it’s such a hard work, then what’s the point💁.
She can go and look for Davido or Burna boy to marry her. Take your fantasies with you, the door is always wide open.

😅
Blame Zeeworld anf Korean movies!😂

QuinQ:
By trying to turn her into a lesbian like you?Wehdone

B Bs good die chai...
I did it on December and it was ulalaaaaah

sammiewrite:
"I miss being wanted.
I miss being touched with intention, spoken to with softness, loved with effort.
I miss feeling like I matter."

At OP, I read somewhere on the second page that your husband provides and is not abusive? If you think this is commonplace in men in 2026, divorce that man to find out. Rather than focus on what you have and been grateful, you're looking for what is not lost. Typical modern day woman: Their idea of love is never reciprocity. It is never kindness. It is never empathy. It is never sacrifice, sharing or respect. Their idea of love is never their own... But the fantasy and delusions they see daily on Zee World and on social media.

The modern day women can't seem to understand that there can be love without romance. That there can be love without touching, touching or exchange of bodily fluid.

Well-said...
But it is human nature. If we have good, we want better. If we have better, we want perfect. If we have perfect, we want what Mrs Jones is flaunting on social media!😅

eniteden:
You took the words out of my mouth guy

That's just it, am married and this sort of loneliness comes sometimes, but what i do is play with my wife like i use to when we are single, go out with her sometimes even after works.

When am too carried away and she get close to me i bit her legs playfully and she laughs and scream while i drop anything am doing and fight with her till we fall on the bed and start laughing and if my boy is asleep we knack from there very well

So many things i do, just try ur effort too don't just sit there and let everything always come from ur partner do ur part.

Like right now, am planning to take my wife to her best restaurant on her birthday, buy each other things no matter how small, guest, gossip and fight playfully, watch tv together while hugging.

Just try marriage is sweet and lonely sometimes

But what if your wife doesn't respond??
That's exactly what she's saying - that her husband is not responding to any of these. "It's like pouring love into a space that feels cold and silent."

Harbideyme:
Since I am also in that shoe, let's be friends.

OP, voila!

justloo:
@Sammiewrite you decided to miss the point completely. Marriage is companionship FIRST. You complement each other.

Providing and procreation are secondary considerations (Reason why women fall out of love with their rich husbands despite all the trappings and provisions)

Perhaps you may want to read what she wrote again, this time with more emotional intelligence to interrogate why and how someone can be in a marriage and yet feel lonely.

A little bit of empathy helps

You ain't lying. Though some women can manage it better than others. Some women even PREFER what OP has. Some female even said it on this thread - they hate clinginess, wants someone who minds his business

plaetton:
Funny, I could hear my wife saying the same things the op posted. Without hearing my side of the story, most you would say exactly what you are saying.

Most modern women do not know how to emotional bond with their spouse, and barely make efforts to do so. Social media and crackpot feminists have encouraged modern women into the woeful delusion that everything revolves around their fluctuating and often contradicting feelings. Women very seldom reflect on what they are giving, and whether it enough. Rather, It's always about what they are not getting.
This is the classic delusions that the so-called modern women suffer.
The op did not say that her spouse was cruel, abusive nor treated her bad in any way.
For all we know, the man, just like millions of other good men, is working very hard to provide for his home,doing everything within his physical and emotional strength, to maintain his home.
And like the typical woman, she's gotten a great portion of what she dreamed of before marriage, but now, she feels she deserves more. Even though she told just half of the story, I can almost bet that she likely offers the man very little in affection and emotional support.
Most of we men are in that situation where the woman brings nothing to the table, but thinks that we owe them the universe with happiness nicely tucked in, even though they cannot even define what happiness truly means.

If a woman is not happy with the hair, the nails, the eyelashes, the breasts and hips that God gave her, if God could not satisfy a woman, it is pure delusion to expect a mere mortal man to please a woman.
That was a joke 😃.

The saddest part here is that we have these deluded online feminists like kobojunkie telling her that she might have to leave her marriage?

Leave her marriage and eventually become a side hen to another happily or unhappily married man ?
Laughing out loud.

Can't say I disagree.😅

"Women very seldom reflect on what they are giving, and whether it is enough. Rather, It's always about what they are NOT getting."

"If a woman is not happy with the hair, the nails, the eyelashes, the breasts and hips that God gave her, if God could not satisfy a woman, it is pure delusion to expect a mere mortal man to please a woman."