₦airaland Forum

The Nigerian marriage institution is patriarchal in nature. It is a male-dominated system. The man is tagged as the head of the family, while the woman is the backbone. The backbone supports the head, which leads. When former President Muhammadu Buhari was asked about his wife’s involvement in politics, he infamously said she belonged in the “kitchen and the other room (bedroom).” This statement exemplified the misogynistic nature of Nigerian society.

A man in Nigeria is a king, and his family is his empire. Most times, he is accorded great respect if he has the financial means. Sometimes, he cheats on his wife, and she feels helpless. In some cases, she may be physically abused. Since the man mainly takes care of the family’s finances, with the woman contributing little or nothing, it becomes difficult for her to leave. It becomes even harder when children are involved, and their welfare must be considered.

Nigerian society also frowns on divorce. A woman might lose everything if it happens. There is little legal framework to protect her and her children. Returning to her father’s house is seen as shameful. On religious grounds, Christianity forbids divorce. Additionally, divorced women are accorded less respect. Some unscrupulous men see divorced women as desperate or undesirable, labeling them as “second-hand” or “fairly used.” Their chances of remarrying become low, and people become overly judgmental when single mothers are presented as brides.

Considering all these factors, many women stay in marriages and smile like they are doing toothpaste advertisements. They pray for change, listen to relationship advisers, and hope for the best.

When you take a woman in this position to the UK, the situation changes. The labour market is more open to women, and sometimes they even have better opportunities than their husbands. Western marriage systems are seen as partnerships where equality is the norm. The system views women as vulnerable and offers them protection. If a man becomes violent, she can call the police and have him removed. There is a legal framework to compel child support payments. A man can lose his home through legal processes. Women can also access immigration and welfare benefits after divorce. Even then, society rarely judges them negatively; instead, they are often seen as strong women who stood up to oppression. Divorce is normal in this part of the world. In 2023, there were 102,678 divorces granted in England and Wales — about 100,000 marriages ending each year.

This reality motivates women to demand equal power and order in marriage. Some even push further.

Most times, African men still pay most household bills but have little say in home affairs. The king of yesterday loses his authority and power. He is easily challenged in his own palace. Frustration sets in, and he becomes toxic. Life in the UK can be boring and lonely. There is often no one to talk to, as everyone is too busy. Work can be competitive and stressful. The cold weather discourages social life. The man runs on empty emotionally, and his home — which should recharge him — becomes another battleground. His mental health suffers. To avoid doing something he may regret, he walks away from the marriage.

The UK did not break these marriages; it gave women power and leverage, and they exercised them. The system simply exposed fragile arrangements. Any man humble and adaptable enough to accept these new realities can still save his marriage.

EmperorIsaac:
Truth is what we call marriage in Nigeria is pure nonsense....heavily transactional and bereft of the concept of love in its essence. Quote me daily!

budaatum:
Most Nigerian men have not been educated to love and respect their wife, and think she is a rib who should just provide them with sex on tap. And when you tell them, they think you are just being woke.

https://www.nairaland.com/8609468/france-moves-abolish-concept-marital#138312943

EmperorIsaac:
Truth is what we call marriage in Nigeria is pure nonsense....heavily transactional and bereft of the concept of love in its essence. Quote me daily!

Artiiclebeast:
Even the word "Love" and every concept of it as regards relationships between humans is highly self-serving, transactional, and indeed a mirage to be expected from a fellow being.

Host78:
I'll write again.

You don't know a person's true nature unless they are the ones with power.

You can't tell if a man is humble when he's in poverty because then he cannot be anything but humble.

You cant tell if a man is a good man unless he has the means to be both good and evil.

In Nigeria, men have the power. They earn more, yet they marry women with nothing and love these women.

They take her across the border because they feel that's what's best for the family.

In the UK, the same woman who professed love for the man and her family is suddenly given power

And remember, power shows one's true nature.

Suddenly, the family that loved and protected her, she suddenly strikes it back and divides it into two.

Power showed her true nature which have laid dormant because she never had the power.

So, the broken homes you see in the UK have very little to do with men being terrible people but with women being terrible human beings.

Who choose themselves over others especially the ones they claim they love.

This is the hallmark of selfishness: choosing oneself above everyone else regardless of how close or how much they have sacrificed for you in the past.

Look around you: all they talk about is excuses like how these men want to be treated like kings because they don't do house chores.

Forgetting that these men never cared for them to bring a kobo for the 10 or 15 years they were married in Nigeria.

These men never cared that these women never contributed one kobo to their own wedding expenses.

Yet these men never said "she wanted to be treated like a queen". In fact these men treats their women like queens and want to see her like their queen.

But suddenly a year in the UK, she faults him for domestic chores and break their homes.

Ah! terrible humans and yet not realizing how terrible they are.

Philosopher1979:
i THINK THE PROBLEM IS THAT MOST NIGERIAN WOMEN DO NOT MARRY WHO THEY LOVE.
THEY MARRY DUE TO 2 REASONS 1. SOCIETAL PRESSURE 2. FINANCIAL REASONS.
I THINK THE ISSUE IS THAT IF YOU TELL A LADY TO MARRY ON TIME THE USUAL THING IS THAT THE MAN
SHE IS ATTRACTED TO AND FEELS LIKE HAVING SEX WITH IS NOT FINANCIALL READY.
WHEN CLOSE TO 30 OR DUE TO SOCIETAL PRESSURE OR BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE THEY SETTLE FOR MR AVAILABLE
AND NOT MR RIGHT
THIS MAY BE WHY PATERNITY FRAUD HAPPENS.
WHEN THEY GO ABROAD THEY HAVE MORE RIGHTS AS THE LAW AND CULTURE OF THE WESTERN WORLD EMPOWERS THEM
AND THEN THEY CAN DO WHAT IS IN THEIR MIND

uche87:
The Nigerian marriage institution is patriarchal in nature. It is a male-dominated system. The man is tagged as the head of the family, while the woman is the backbone. The backbone supports the head, which leads. When former President Muhammadu Buhari was asked about his wife’s involvement in politics, he infamously said she belonged in the “kitchen and the other room (bedroom).” This statement exemplified the misogynistic nature of Nigerian society.

A man in Nigeria is a king, and his family is his empire. Most times, he is accorded great respect if he has the financial means. Sometimes, he cheats on his wife, and she feels helpless. In some cases, she may be physically abused. Since the man mainly takes care of the family’s finances, with the woman contributing little or nothing, it becomes difficult for her to leave. It becomes even harder when children are involved, and their welfare must be considered.

Nigerian society also frowns on divorce. A woman might lose everything if it happens. There is little legal framework to protect her and her children. Returning to her father’s house is seen as shameful. On religious grounds, Christianity forbids divorce. Additionally, divorced women are accorded less respect. Some unscrupulous men see divorced women as desperate or undesirable, labeling them as “second-hand” or “fairly used.” Their chances of remarrying become low, and people become overly judgmental when single mothers are presented as brides.

Considering all these factors, many women stay in marriages and smile like they are doing toothpaste advertisements. They pray for change, listen to relationship advisers, and hope for the best.

When you take a woman in this position to the UK, the situation changes. The labour market is more open to women, and sometimes they even have better opportunities than their husbands. Western marriage systems are seen as partnerships where equality is the norm. The system views women as vulnerable and offers them protection. If a man becomes violent, she can call the police and have him removed. There is a legal framework to compel child support payments. A man can lose his home through legal processes. Women can also access immigration and welfare benefits after divorce. Even then, society rarely judges them negatively; instead, they are often seen as strong women who stood up to oppression. Divorce is normal in this part of the world. In 2023, there were 102,678 divorces granted in England and Wales — about 100,000 marriages ending each year.

This reality motivates women to demand equal power and order in marriage. Some even push further.

Most times, African men still pay most household bills but have little say in home affairs. The king of yesterday loses his authority and power. He is easily challenged in his own palace. Frustration sets in, and he becomes toxic. Life in the UK can be boring and lonely. There is often no one to talk to, as everyone is too busy. Work can be competitive and stressful. The cold weather discourages social life. The man runs on empty emotionally, and his home — which should recharge him — becomes another battleground. His mental health suffers. To avoid doing something he may regret, he walks away from the marriage.

The UK did not break these marriages; it gave women power and leverage, and they exercised them. The system simply exposed fragile arrangements. Any man humble and adaptable enough to accept these new realities can still save his marriage.

https://www.facebook.com/thevillagetowncrier/posts/pfbid0WD1eDtB3GjQFqrnhHjcZQHjBEZWriUL3W2ibwEpqiQZ9t3X19qsNDfAcjBeAJmh9l

CC Lalasticlala Seun Ishilove Mynd44 Dominique MissyB3 Fynestboi NLfpmod

uche87:
The Nigerian marriage institution is patriarchal in nature. It is a male-dominated system. The man is tagged as the head of the family, while the woman is the backbone. The backbone supports the head, which leads. When former President Muhammadu Buhari was asked about his wife’s involvement in politics, he infamously said she belonged in the “kitchen and the other room (bedroom).” This statement exemplified the misogynistic nature of Nigerian society.

A man in Nigeria is a king, and his family is his empire. Most times, he is accorded great respect if he has the financial means. Sometimes, he cheats on his wife, and she feels helpless. In some cases, she may be physically abused. Since the man mainly takes care of the family’s finances, with the woman contributing little or nothing, it becomes difficult for her to leave. It becomes even harder when children are involved, and their welfare must be considered.

Nigerian society also frowns on divorce. A woman might lose everything if it happens. There is little legal framework to protect her and her children. Returning to her father’s house is seen as shameful. On religious grounds, Christianity forbids divorce. Additionally, divorced women are accorded less respect. Some unscrupulous men see divorced women as desperate or undesirable, labeling them as “second-hand” or “fairly used.” Their chances of remarrying become low, and people become overly judgmental when single mothers are presented as brides.

Considering all these factors, many women stay in marriages and smile like they are doing toothpaste advertisements. They pray for change, listen to relationship advisers, and hope for the best.

When you take a woman in this position to the UK, the situation changes. The labour market is more open to women, and sometimes they even have better opportunities than their husbands. Western marriage systems are seen as partnerships where equality is the norm. The system views women as vulnerable and offers them protection. If a man becomes violent, she can call the police and have him removed. There is a legal framework to compel child support payments. A man can lose his home through legal processes. Women can also access immigration and welfare benefits after divorce. Even then, society rarely judges them negatively; instead, they are often seen as strong women who stood up to oppression. Divorce is normal in this part of the world. In 2023, there were 102,678 divorces granted in England and Wales — about 100,000 marriages ending each year.

This reality motivates women to demand equal power and order in marriage. Some even push further.

Most times, African men still pay most household bills but have little say in home affairs. The king of yesterday loses his authority and power. He is easily challenged in his own palace. Frustration sets in, and he becomes toxic. Life in the UK can be boring and lonely. There is often no one to talk to, as everyone is too busy. Work can be competitive and stressful. The cold weather discourages social life. The man runs on empty emotionally, and his home — which should recharge him — becomes another battleground. His mental health suffers. To avoid doing something he may regret, he walks away from the marriage.

The UK did not break these marriages; it gave women power and leverage, and they exercised them. The system simply exposed fragile arrangements. Any man humble and adaptable enough to accept these new realities can still save his marriage.

https://www.facebook.com/thevillagetowncrier/posts/pfbid0WD1eDtB3GjQFqrnhHjcZQHjBEZWriUL3W2ibwEpqiQZ9t3X19qsNDfAcjBeAJmh9l

CC Lalasticlala Seun Ishilove Mynd44 Dominique MissyB3 Fynestboi NLfpmod

budaatum:
Most Nigerian men have not been educated to love and respect their wife, and think she is a rib who should just provide them with sex on tap. And when you tell them, they think you are just being woke.

https://www.nairaland.com/8609468/france-moves-abolish-concept-marital#138312943

uche87:
https://www.facebook.com/thevillagetowncrier/posts/pfbid0WD1eDtB3GjQFqrnhHjcZQHjBEZWriUL3W2ibwEpqiQZ9t3X19qsNDfAcjBeAJmh9l

SpaceX:
I strongly advocate for women to stop getting married, marriages doesn't benefit women in anyways.

Host78:
I think the UK exposes women for the leeches they are in marriage rather than men being the problem.

For one, a man marries a woman because he loves and cared about her.

When she had nothing he married her, gave her his own money, feeds and clothes her as much as he could.

And when he has hustled enough, he saves and saves and deny himself a lot of things so that he'll be able to cater to this woman and the child she'll later born.

But that's still not enough. He wants to improve their overall quality of life. He wants more for them.

So he saves even more and then travel to the UK.

In the UK, he picks up odd jobs and even though he's stressed, he works harder to ensure his family could join him one day.

Then finally his wife and kids are able to join him in the UK.

Suddenly on getting there, she found that she could now work and earn as much as the husband.

He's happy. She's happy. He's happy that finally his loved ones are with him now and they could continue building the home they started.

She's happy she's here now and could finally get rid of her husband and her family.

On the one hand, when he had everything, he gave her everything and brought her over.

On the other hand, when she had everything, she wants to give him nothing and to send him away.

So, no, the UK does not expose how terrible men are but how terrible and ungrateful women are to the men who gave them everything.

On her own, she'll never have dreamt of a day she'll cross the Nigerian border. It was the man who gave her wings.

But the very moment she felt the air, she turned around and call him a misogynistic bastąrd who had been maltreating her all along.

He was maltreating her yet he brought her over to the good life. He was maltreating her, yet he married her and gave her the wedding of her dreams.

He was maltreating her, yet he helped her find a job, helped her complete her course or paid for her schooling.

What did he get in return? Or more put what did she give him in return?

It's like God after giving you air and life and suddenly you say now you have the freedom to say God was evil.

Nah, Nigerian women are selfish, self-centered and ungrateful and the UK exposes their true nature.

And save me the excuse of this women getting married to men they don't like because they need to survive.

Isn't that the selfishness we are talking about? You married someone you don't like because you wanted your own survival not caring about the man's survival.

@image. Yet this same hopeless and poor, starving-to-death girl, whose own parents could not help her situation, the moment you take her over there and she gets good work, you, suddenly you're a misogynistic băstård who has been maltreating her

SpaceX:
I strongly advocate for women to stop getting married, marriages doesn't benefit women in anyways.

EmperorIsaac:
Truth is what we call marriage in Nigeria is pure nonsense....heavily transactional and bereft of the concept of love in its essence. Quote me daily!

SonOfZeus:
You really hit the nail in the head! I always tell my brothers, be ruthless to women! If they were in your shoe, they wouldn’t even have anything to do with you.

Women are always plotting and when it’s time to attack, they do with without looking back.


I’ve said to myself, even if I find the one for me, I am still prepared whatever may happen.