₦airaland Forum

So I was at dinner with a friend this week. Guy has been married for about 8 years now... married almost immediately after uni. Tall guy, always had fine girlfriends back in school. You’d think na him go dey hype marriage pass.

Out of nowhere, he just sighed and said he regrets marrying… apart from the kids.
His advice shocked me.

He said if he were single again in 2026 Nigeria, he would never marry. That I should just find a woman, have between 1 to 3 kids if I want, make her comfortable, take care of my responsibilities... but avoid marriage completely.

I laughed it off, but then it hit me:
My boss had told me something very similar some time ago.
Then I remembered a former neighbour... fine wife, two kids, lovely family pictures on social media... he also warned me not to rush into marriage.

These are not bitter, broke men o. These are men society would call “successful”.

So now I’m asking myself (and una): Wetin really dey happen?
Is marriage quietly becoming something different from what we were sold?

It's a trap


Make nobody rush you

He would not say that if he married right. Most fine guys will end up marrying the wrong woman for several reasons.

Just pray, keep open eyes, and have a standard you don't negotiate.

They married the wrong woman.

It takes 2 to make a marriage work

They couldn't make it work for themselves then they project their own failures on other

Marriage is not by force, marriage is not for everyone. If you want to marry go ahead, if you don't want to marry you can remain single for the rest of your life.

If you marry right, you will enjoy marriage, if you marry the wrong one, you will hate marriage.

Marriage is not a child play, many man life ended because dey marry the wrong woman. And that is why if you want to marry in this 2026, way hookup full everywhere, you need stay close to God so he can choose for you

He is telling you to have baby-mama.

I better marry than to engage baby-mamas.

nlfpmod:
Marriage is not by force, marriage is not for everyone. If you want to marry go ahead, if you don't want to marry you can remain single for the rest of your life.

If you marry right, you will enjoy marriage, if you marry the wrong one, you will hate marriage.

Even if you marry the right person, it is women that benefits the most in marriage.

Ok, we don hear.

Congratulations to you for deciding not to get married

if you are not financially stable dont get married. im always Hot but i know marriage is not for me

motymop:
They married the wrong woman.

It takes 2 to make a marriage work

They couldn't make it work for themselves then they project their own failures on other

Relax bro.

Like someone recently told me, that there's no manual to achieving a successful marriage.

Just like the op wrote,that those friends of his are all well-to-do men, but they're all still regretting why they got married in the first place.

Three days ago, fortunately I was opportuned to pay my would-be mother in-law an impromptu visit. What the woman told me is still very fresh on my mind and immediately I said to myself,na better mother in-law be this.

Bro,no let anybody pressure you into marriage. Cuz inside relationship self,we don pass through alot,how much more e go be for inside marriage.

Nuf said already 📌

You done marry am be that

He kept you as a treasure you too accept him by replicating him. One good thing deserves another

Babatunjo:
So I was at dinner with a friend this week. Guy has been married for about 8 years now... married almost immediately after uni. Tall guy, always had fine girlfriends back in school. You’d think na him go dey hype marriage pass.

Out of nowhere, he just sighed and said he regrets marrying… apart from the kids.
His advice shocked me.

He said if he were single again in 2026 Nigeria, he would never marry. That I should just find a woman, have between 1 to 3 kids if I want, make her comfortable, take care of my responsibilities... but avoid marriage completely.

I laughed it off, but then it hit me:
My boss had told me something very similar some time ago.
Then I remembered a former neighbour... fine wife, two kids, lovely family pictures on social media... he also warned me not to rush into marriage.

These are not bitter, broke men o. These are men society would call “successful”.

So now I’m asking myself (and una): Wetin really dey happen?
Is marriage quietly becoming something different from what we were sold?

Its subjective and based on individual experience.


Agreed, some ladies can make life a living hell for their partners while acting like all is well.


Many ladies enter into marriage empty handed and expecting their husband to become a commando and spider man Pope John Paul The Bill Gates at the same time, it can be frustrating if you are married to such women at the long run, reason many men regret getting married.


The truth is, in Nigerian setting, marriage seem to benefit women more than men, especially when the man is financially successful, the only thing he benefits is having children and heir in wedlock, outside that nothing else for most Nigerian married men and reason some see marriage as a waste of time.


I addressed some issues on a new thread on my profile for single ladies to learn.


Many well to do men are regretting getting married because they married valueless women whose only contribution is sex that many married men even get bored of over time due to over-familiarity and the natural male trait of desiring new experience at some point.


So to all single and married ladies reading, this is a wake up call for you all, try and become valuable woman that contributes immensely to the success and growth of the man and the overall family finance to avoid your man having this kind of regret of marrying you at the long run.


Marriage in this time and era is beyond providing sex and keeping the home, domestic staffs and side chicks can provide those, be more than just that, be a valuable woman, strive to be a contributor to your husband and family's financial growth and wellbeing, peace

use your sense !!!
Every marriage is not the same.
If he is having it rough, yours maybe smooth.
I believe your father married and didn't regret it

It's a rubbish advise at the end of the day... loneliness hit different when u're old...from 65yrs upwards...either for a man or woman..
Tho u will face challenges...as long as she's not cheating on u...u will surely find a balance and it's surely worth the stress at the end..cuz anybody wey marry and the wife dey cheat on him...na another man wife he marry oo..no be him wife

I had also been married for 10 years and I saw hell, before I regained my freedom out of sheer luck...if I ever hear marriage again ehh

Nb: For all those saying if you marry right abi you marry wrong.....there is nothing like marry wrong or right because for any marriage to survive then the man must always act the fool.

I have been married for 6 months, and if I where to take back the hands of time, I would never use the word marriage in my mouth.

That regular quote that people say "women change after marriage" that quote is very correct.

Today I am still in marriage because if I leave, what will people say ?

Babatunjo:
So I was at dinner with a friend this week. Guy has been married for about 8 years now... married almost immediately after uni. Tall guy, always had fine girlfriends back in school. You’d think na him go dey hype marriage pass.

Out of nowhere, he just sighed and said he regrets marrying… apart from the kids.
His advice shocked me.

He said if he were single again in 2026 Nigeria, he would never marry. That I should just find a woman, have between 1 to 3 kids if I want, make her comfortable, take care of my responsibilities... but avoid marriage completely.

I laughed it off, but then it hit me:
My boss had told me something very similar some time ago.
Then I remembered a former neighbour... fine wife, two kids, lovely family pictures on social media... he also warned me not to rush into marriage.

These are not bitter, broke men o. These are men society would call “successful”.

So now I’m asking myself (and una): Wetin really dey happen?
Is marriage quietly becoming something different from what we were sold?

Hahahaha. Ekwensu e romanciala mammy water

Sonnobax15:
Relax bro.

Like someone recently told me, that there's no manual to achieving a successful marriage.

Just like the op wrote,that those friends of his are all well-to-do men, but they're all still regretting why they got married in the first place.

Three days ago, fortunately I was opportuned to pay my would-be mother in-law an impromptu visit. What the woman told me is still very fresh on my mind and immediately I said to myself,na better mother in-law be this.

Bro,no let anybody pressure you into marriage. Cuz inside relationship self,we don pass through alot,how much more e go be for inside marriage.

Nuf said already 📌

What has well to do has to do with marrying the right woman and also making your relationship work.

Most men marry the wrong women or they themselves have issues

Majority of issues at home is finance and cheating of which many Nigerian men are guilty of.

Then don't get married Abi...

Believe me, marriage na scam. Your wife na complete orphan in marriage. Even when she has millions, your 200k will be shared amongst yourselves

Marriage is not bed of roses but this advice, no no for me. If they had married the right persons, they wouldn't advised otherwise

Can i actually marry myself... ?

I think about it a lot, can i marry myself and still sleep with women. I will know and accept that it is adultery.

One can adopt kids especially within one's family. One can raise theirs if they want to but never have a spouse. Baby mama is fine.

Nowadays Man marrys man, woman marrys woman, some people marry kids, some 30 wives, some person marry tree or kettle or dog or sound



Can i just stay married to myself, is it legal?

Next time ask your friend to give you his reasons...

He should divorce his wife to prove his point. Abi them tie am for the marriage?

Moneyyman:
He would not say that if he married right. Most fine guys will end up marrying the wrong woman for several reasons.

Just pray, keep open eyes, and have a standard you don't negotiate.

Happy weekend man!!!!!!!!

Liked your input with all responsibility,
Having standard you don’t negotiate.

Never settle for less of your standard.

I'm married bros
I will also advise you to listen to your friend but if you have any atom of doubt go in and see for yourself.
If I have someone like your friend I will hold him very close to myself. Women are just liability nothing much even the once that are working

Babatunjo:
So I was at dinner with a friend this week. Guy has been married for about 8 years now... married almost immediately after uni. Tall guy, always had fine girlfriends back in school. You’d think na him go dey hype marriage pass.

Out of nowhere, he just sighed and said he regrets marrying… apart from the kids.
His advice shocked me.

He said if he were single again in 2026 Nigeria, he would never marry. That I should just find a woman, have between 1 to 3 kids if I want, make her comfortable, take care of my responsibilities... but avoid marriage completely.

I laughed it off, but then it hit me:
My boss had told me something very similar some time ago.
Then I remembered a former neighbour... fine wife, two kids, lovely family pictures on social media... he also warned me not to rush into marriage.

These are not bitter, broke men o. These are men society would call “successful”.

So now I’m asking myself (and una): Wetin really dey happen?
Is marriage quietly becoming something different from what we were sold?

The truth is that marriage is for women..it only favours the wife. Apart from having kids, which is not even guaranteed, a man has no gain in marriage. If you understand and accept this, it will be easier for you to survive.

Your friend has mental illness, he should see a doctor.

If you feel marriage is not for you based on what you have seen happening with married couples in the news or around you, why bother us with your decision not to get married.... Just don't!

One of my guy married a very beautiful girl. They have three kids. People envy his marriage. He built upstairs. Have his own car. Doing very well in biz. I was shocked to the marrow the night we were having a drink and this my guy, after some bottles, was literally crying, telling me what he is passing through in the hands of his wife and her family. The worst thing is that the wife created problem between him and his siblings. Now he is dying inside without any of his siblings caring about him. This is someone that people wish to be in his shoes.

Babatunjo:
✓ These are not bitter, broke men o. These are men society would call “successful”.
So now I’m asking myself (and una): Wetin really dey happen?
Is marriage quietly becoming something different from what we were sold?

Marriage, as many know it today, has always been a broken system that vastly favored men and not women until now. More and more women refuse to compromise, sacrifice like their mothers and grandmothers, while the man gets to live out his picket fence dreams without losing not even a drop of blood for the cause. So, yes, take his advice seriously. 🥱🥱

And here I am saying, get married or continue to listen to them.

This year would make me 11yrs in marriage and I have no regret one bit.

U can choose to listen to those men and still regret not marrying as earlier planned.

Lastly,always check up the background of any woman u want to marry and u the woman,do same to ur said man...doing this would save ur life completely and u will never regret it any day.