₦airaland Forum

Women wahala tooooooooo plenty

Babatunjo:
So I was at dinner with a friend this week. Guy has been married for about 8 years now... married almost immediately after uni. Tall guy, always had fine girlfriends back in school. You’d think na him go dey hype marriage pass.

Out of nowhere, he just sighed and said he regrets marrying… apart from the kids.
His advice shocked me.

He said if he were single again in 2026 Nigeria, he would never marry. That I should just find a woman, have between 1 to 3 kids if I want, make her comfortable, take care of my responsibilities... but avoid marriage completely.

I laughed it off, but then it hit me:
My boss had told me something very similar some time ago.
Then I remembered a former neighbour... fine wife, two kids, lovely family pictures on social media... he also warned me not to rush into marriage.

These are not bitter, broke men o. These are men society would call “successful”.

So now I’m asking myself (and una): Wetin really dey happen?
Is marriage quietly becoming something different from what we were sold?

all of us when don marry Dey regret.its a safety net for ladies.as a guy man now just have kids from one woman and rest

nlfpmod:
Marriage is not by force, marriage is not for everyone. If you want to marry go ahead, if you don't want to marry you can remain single for the rest of your life.

If you marry right, you will enjoy marriage, if you marry the wrong one, you will hate marriage.

as in....

Me I'm just tired and irritated by all these blah blah marriage is not for me nonsense

Don't get married and leave others to do what they want to do


I'm divorced but one thing I will never advice someone to do is not get married. If you are lucky to find your soulmate, you will wonder why it took so long to make that decision.
And if you marry the wrong person.....

Marry a good woman , and enjoy marriage . U no see anybody near you wey de enjoy marriage ? Wey b say na those wey marry weapon fashion against them u de hear their advise .


Modified : I read some comments up there , only fools believe all married men are regretting being married 🤡🤡

Marriage is good. Let him not use his own experience to scare you.

If you marry because of yansh,fine face or boobs,one day all that will fade away..You have to be patient when finding someone to marry.If not,you will shed tears everyday for not waiting ..Pressure from society and parents no Dey even affect me at all..

Chummynoni:
Marry a good woman , and enjoy marriage . U no see anybody near you wey de enjoy marriage ? Wey b say na those wey marry weapon fashion against them u de hear their advise .

Gbam🙌🏿

Has his wife fried his balls?

Love800:
He is telling you to have baby-mama.

I better marry than to engage baby-mamas.

The idea of paying an amount (bride price) or whatever you call it, has already made that concept of marriage "abnormal".

Humans with good mental capacity should cohabit with whomever they cherish to have fun and bear children; going against this principle, is a proof of mental illness.

I mean, what do you call your inability to end up with the love of your life, just because he doesn't have the financial capacity to take care of you?

motymop:
What has well to do has to do with marrying the right woman and also making your relationship work.

Most men marry the wrong women or they themselves have issues

Majority of issues at home is finance and cheating of which many Nigerian men are guilty of.

. Being well-to-do has got a whole lot to do ,in terms of marriage.

Meaning if a man who's successful interns of ,in his finances could be complaining about marriage,what then would be expected of a man who's struggling to meet ends meet, should he venture into the same marriage.

He had told you the TRUTH, but I know you will not accept that TRUTH because it is too bitter to swallow. My marriage will be 15 years in March, so I know the TRUTH inside today’s modern marriage

Babatunjo:
So I was at dinner with a friend this week. Guy has been married for about 8 years now... married almost immediately after uni. Tall guy, always had fine girlfriends back in school. You’d think na him go dey hype marriage pass.

Out of nowhere, he just sighed and said he regrets marrying… apart from the kids.
His advice shocked me.

He said if he were single again in 2026 Nigeria, he would never marry. That I should just find a woman, have between 1 to 3 kids if I want, make her comfortable, take care of my responsibilities... but avoid marriage completely.

I laughed it off, but then it hit me:
My boss had told me something very similar some time ago.
Then I remembered a former neighbour... fine wife, two kids, lovely family pictures on social media... he also warned me not to rush into marriage.

These are not bitter, broke men o. These are men society would call “successful”.

So now I’m asking myself (and una): Wetin really dey happen?
Is marriage quietly becoming something different from what we were sold?

Funny enough I know successful bros who think this way too
The question I ask is why not walk away from the marriage
They just can't
You know why
They are enjoying the perks of being married and still enjoy staying married unconsciously

That advice is GOLD 🪙

Babatunjo:
So I was at dinner with a friend this week. Guy has been married for about 8 years now... married almost immediately after uni. Tall guy, always had fine girlfriends back in school. You’d think na him go dey hype marriage pass.

Out of nowhere, he just sighed and said he regrets marrying… apart from the kids.
His advice shocked me.

He said if he were single again in 2026 Nigeria, he would never marry. That I should just find a woman, have between 1 to 3 kids if I want, make her comfortable, take care of my responsibilities... but avoid marriage completely.

I laughed it off, but then it hit me:
My boss had told me something very similar some time ago.
Then I remembered a former neighbour... fine wife, two kids, lovely family pictures on social media... he also warned me not to rush into marriage.

These are not bitter, broke men o. These are men society would call “successful”.

So now I’m asking myself (and una): Wetin really dey happen?
Is marriage quietly becoming something different from what we were sold?

Your friend is right

Guys I'm married please do not get married it's a waste of time and energy

motymop:
They married the wrong woman.

It takes 2 to make a marriage work

They couldn't make it work for themselves then they project their own failures on other

Mostly not the case. You'd think you're a proper man until you get married and marriage will go into the deepest part of your soul and exhume the demon in you.

If you're a weak man the demon will take over you and what we see is an abusive and irresponsible husband and father. But the strong will cage it. You'd be left struck on the type of person you'd have been.

Una no dey ever tire to paint marriage as gloom and doom

To live with women requires lot of patience... ..wisdom...the remaining one u can't solve..resolve it in place of prayer..

Moneyyman:
He would not say that if he married right. Most fine guys will end up marrying the wrong woman for several reasons.

Just pray, keep open eyes, and have a standard you don't negotiate.

You've said it all, have been married for three years with a daughter. Marriage is good if you get the right partner ( and you also been the right partner).


We rise by lifting others

Babatunjo:
So I was at dinner with a friend this week. Guy has been married for about 8 years now... married almost immediately after uni. Tall guy, always had fine girlfriends back in school. You’d think na him go dey hype marriage pass.

Out of nowhere, he just sighed and said he regrets marrying… apart from the kids.
His advice shocked me.

He said if he were single again in 2026 Nigeria, he would never marry. That I should just find a woman, have between 1 to 3 kids if I want, make her comfortable, take care of my responsibilities... but avoid marriage completely.

I laughed it off, but then it hit me:
My boss had told me something very similar some time ago.
Then I remembered a former neighbour... fine wife, two kids, lovely family pictures on social media... he also warned me not to rush into marriage.

These are not bitter, broke men o. These are men society would call “successful”.

So now I’m asking myself (and una): Wetin really dey happen?
Is marriage quietly becoming something different from what we were sold?

Go MGTOW guys! Go MGTOW!!

Have kids if you want, but, do not ever get married.

There is nothing in it for you, as a man!!

Babatunjo:
So I was at dinner with a friend this week. Guy has been married for about 8 years now... married almost immediately after uni. Tall guy, always had fine girlfriends back in school. You’d think na him go dey hype marriage pass.

Out of nowhere, he just sighed and said he regrets marrying… apart from the kids.
His advice shocked me.

He said if he were single again in 2026 Nigeria, he would never marry. That I should just find a woman, have between 1 to 3 kids if I want, make her comfortable, take care of my responsibilities... but avoid marriage completely.

I laughed it off, but then it hit me:
My boss had told me something very similar some time ago.
Then I remembered a former neighbour... fine wife, two kids, lovely family pictures on social media... he also warned me not to rush into marriage.

These are not bitter, broke men o. These are men society would call “successful”.

So now I’m asking myself (and una): Wetin really dey happen?
Is marriage quietly becoming something different from what we were sold?

These people you mention sound like people who want to remain single while being married. Marriage is a union of TWO DIFFERENT INDIVIDUALS which means you need to be ready to have your opinions and ideas challenged by the opinions and ideas of the other person. If you don't want that then don't get married.

Marriage not for the weak
You questions everything including your sanity sometimes.
But the fact remains that my life will still be frustrating if I didn't get married or marry late.
Imagine after getting all the money then you marry at 45yrs and the end you no really enjoy life to its fullest

Bride price is usually 20, 100, 1000naira. Its nothing to the family. Just a show or cultural practice.

The main money problem is buying everything on the list. As a man, its expected you pay atleast to show a bit responsibility.

What am not doing is white wedding. No time for dat.

But telling me to have a baby-mama that will stay miles away from me with my kids and me sending funds everytime to her as if am paying levies to unions, associations, local govt is silly to me.

Broveens42:
The idea of paying an amount (bride price) or whatever you call it, has already made that concept of marriage "abnormal".

Humans with good mental capacity should cohabit with whomever they cherish to have fun and bear children; going against this principle, is a proof of mental illness.

I mean what do you call your inability to end up with the love of your life, just because he doesn't have the financial capacity to take care of you?

Women want commitment, responsibility and equality from men but they dont wanna give same to men. This is what make marriage unattractive. Selfishness of that gender is what is killing the institution called marriage.

Marriage is good and sweet if you marry the right person. I married a wrong woman and divorced after just 6 yrs. Today, I am remarried and enjoying my marriage!

Update147:
I have been married for 6 months, and if I where to take back the hands of time, I would never use the word marriage in my mouth.

That regular quote that people say "women change after marriage" that quote is very correct.

Today I am still in marriage because if I leave, what will people say ?

No dey put fear for my body Na. Which kind tin be diz?

Na so e be, bros. E don cast.

Make you no marry again. Why?

· Marriage na trap for man. Woman get her natural mind say she go dey find better-better thing (hypergamy). Marriage na way to use law hold your money and future for hand. Once she see better offer or you slack small, she fit collect everything comot. Court dey her side.
· Law no dey for man side. If she divorce you, na you go suffer. She go take house, she go take pikin, she go dey collect money from your salary every month. You go dey pay for air you no dey breathe again. Na you go dey work like slave for her new life.
· Your value na just money and body. "Love" na story. She dey with you because of wetin you get and how you look. When you still young and no get money, she no dey look your face. When you old and don get money, na him she want use marriage hold. Na bad market.
· You no gain anything, you lose everything. You go lose your freedom, your peace, your money. The sex go reduce, wahala go increase. Even your own pikin, you fit no see again. Na pure loss.
· The game don spoil. Them dey tell you "find good wife" to make you continue dey work like mumu for the system. E don cast. No try fix am. The only way to win na to no play at all.

Use your time and money build yourself. Forget marriage. Na old slavery with paper. Abeg, wake up. Your freedom na the only thing wey remain. Comot for that thing. E don finish

Two good heads are better than one..

Just know that people don't publicize happy marriages because it won't trend.

Arabk25:
I'm married bros
I will also advise you to listen to your friend but if you have any atom of doubt go in and see for yourself.
If I have someone like your friend I will hold him very close to myself. Women are just liability nothing much even the once that are working

Chai....

U guys have ruined my day.
U just make fear dey catch me so

For me, when you marry into a rich family, you won’t regret marriage as a man or woman. But when your in-laws are poor and disturbing you for the smallest financial problem, and turning you to a cash cow, then you’d regret ever married. Anyone that thinks I’m lying should do a survey of what I said.

Pay close attention to your surroundings. Our problem is that we are more emotional than analytical, and when we are analytical we already pick a favored conclusion then force our way to that.

The answer lies naked all around you.