₦airaland Forum

ollyboy900:
Bro i tried. My estranged woman family is the type that do not want their daughters (children in short including their only son) to live even a mile away from them. The story long

When we were preparing for wedding, they wanted to force me to rent a N1m flat on the Lagos Island (Omo, after all the wedding expenses and their unreasonable traditional wedding list) , my capacity was a N450k 2 bedroom flat at the time (2018), on the Mainland.

This caused friction for more than 2year as her mother said she would never come to our house because it's far. I sensed her hanger was because she couldn't control me perhaps like she's doing two her other two son inlaws

Her mother built on the island so she was obviously trying to make us stay close to her. Her other two daughters; one lives on the same street with her hubby, the other lives in her mother's building with her hubby (Chaii that cannot be me). They are obviously well to do than my family but i no send them, i get good job, i have ambition and i know my strength.

I got the shocker after the wedding, we conceived my first son just 2 weeks after the wedding (Yes, na my son no worries. DNA is done) and sorry i forgot to mention that my estranged madam works on the island, so her office is closer to her mother's home. That how she told me that she would be staying in her mother's house from Monday till Friday, she will come home on friday then leave again on Monday just to avoid traffic stress to and fro daily,

We have agreed before wedding that she would seek job at ikeja, closer to home after wedding but she seems not interested in that anymore.
When i explained my disapproval of her decision to her family, they obviously backed their daughter and that showed me that it was orchestrated by them.

Bro, that's how i lived for 7.5yrs in that marriage ooo, partly married, weekend wife. We were blessed with two handsome boys. But just like a poster said up there, mostly men must act the fool for the marriage to work (what a big fool i was 😀).

When it comes to the home, i pay 99.99% of the expenses, from children schools fees, house rent, kids upkip, food stuff, all kitchen gadgets that mostly reasonable women would get themselves (except all plates, spoons and cups we use in the house despite that madam is working). Compound cleaner was the least monthly expense i paid, just N1500. Madam didn't pay a single one for all the period of marriage, even when i sat her down to reason, she wouldn't change.
Even if expenses is choking me (You know those time when house rent expires children resumes a new section, family car broke down all at once?), when i get them sorted out, she will never bother to ask me how i did.

But what broke the camels's back happened last year 2025. September 2024, i paid for her professional exam, i encouraged her to start so that when she becomes chattered, she would be able to get good job closer to home (ikeja been the target), she did her her first diet in November, result should be out in max a month time, but she never tell me her results, i kept asking but she said she hasn't check. I noticed she may be having cold feet about the result, but i told her not to worry. It is unlikely you pass all your papers at once, i am the one paying, just read.

I later heard from an outsider that she passed one out of four papers, she never told me. Towards the end of December 2024, i bought a lithium battery to ensure we have steady light at home so she can read in the midnight. Unfortunately, that battery exploded on Wednesday 8th January while charging it, alot of properties were destroyed, it was around 8pm, thank God she was away with my kids and thank God it wasn't when i was sleeping. Neighbors rose to my help and we quench the fire but the damage was much.

I informed madam the second morning and told her not to worry that I'm safe, know fully that she will be home on friday. When she return she never said anything, never bothered how i survived, never greeted me. I had electrician working (because all the 6 prepaid meter in our compound were burnt) painters working, aluminum man changing all the broken windows etc. But nothing like "How is it going" from madam or her family members (i overheard her telling telling her that about the situation over the phone later that day)

That day i knew i married my enemy and i was the only one in that marriage, she doesn't care.
I felt pained, rejected and lonely but i left it behind for my kids' sake. I tried to find out from her if i offended her in anyway or why she couldn't be stone hearted towards me like that, but she said "nothing". For the first time in 7yrs, i reported her to her father but i see no changes or even feedback from her father.

But the decision to leave happened in june last year to October, i was sick to the point of no return. Millions of Naira gone finding my health, but madam was never there, she didn't even take a one day leave to stay by me. Her parent was informed on my condition but never bother to call or even pay a visit.
Then my siblings started coming to my house to take care of me, each of them stays a month before next one comes (i always inform her of their coming so she doesn't feel off). Even when she comes home in the weekend and i insist that she should be the one to make my food, she won't, she will say my family members is around and should make my food afterall they do it when she's not around.
I had to leave home early in September because my siblings also left their lives to take care of my out of love (thank God i am good to all of the; so the love was massive), one of them, kid sister lives in ibadan and not married yet, so i moved to stay with her and continue my search for healing. I decided not inform her to see if she would be worried of my wereabout. For 3 months sept-Nov, she didn't bother to call any of my family member to find out about me or where i could be, her parent? the same. She still comes home every weekend without the kids, (perhaps because of her studies), i do see her from the CCTV.

Then, i knew i had to leave. Then i packed my load outa the house towards November ending (still had 5 months rent when i packed), got an apartment in another state and living my life. Thank God for the investments here and there cause i couldn't work (I run my own business) throughout the period and medical bills was much, i still took care of all the home and kids financial needs. Madam's contribution was on N10k throughout the ordeal, and that's on the day i was run rushed to General hospital cos i hadn't been sleeping for 14days straight. My car was out of fuel and i was out of cash.

Now she is fully back to her parents' house, are other 2 sisters are back too (their husbands don carry the children and left). Her only brother is 34, unmarried, still staying with the mother. Father and mother are no divorced but haven't been living together for like 15yrs. Now their family pastors are the one calling me and my siblings up and down preaching "what God has join together" bulls**hit.

She was a good girl before marriage, but trust me, this gender sabi hide their true color. I never cheated on her (infact I've never had intimacy with 2 woman in my life), not that i can't but it doesn't just align with my moral value, i provide, i made her my best friend but it wasn't enough. No one should tell me about "marry right" because no relationship feels wrong before you say i do. There is a reason why apostles paul admonished men in the bible not to marry if not to fall into adultry, marriage is trouble. If yours hasn't come, congrats. Enjoy it while it last, early or later, you must regret something about it. And if your marriage is below 5yrs, abeg don't think you have a good home yet, time will test your marriage

So now my brother, i must thank you for allowing me to vent this off, can't believe i wrote this epistle. My focus now is to build my empire so my boys can be proud of me cos i plan to give them the world. I will go see them in school tomorrow to celebrate their birthday ( Cake, biscuit, sweet parcel, everything is ready 🤫🤫).

I still thank God all these challenges surfaced while I'm still young. At 37, i still have greater things ahead of me, women may not be one of them though.

sad but true.... most toxic marriages have the backing of the girls family because they raised rubbish.

Super222:
Hi, I’ve sent you a mail request please

Okay

fyneboi79:
we have a son together and I let her keep him though with regular unrestricted visits and I have a daughter on the way via surrogacy.

I don't feel any loneliness only trouble is being around people.

Surrogacy?
That's def not cheap + are you planning to be a single parent to the incoming child?

Can you please share? As someone intending to marry it might be helpful.

Sonnobax15:
Relax bro.

Like someone recently told me, that there's no manual to achieving a successful marriage.

Just like the op wrote,that those friends of his are all well-to-do men, but they're all still regretting why they got married in the first place.

Three days ago, fortunately I was opportuned to pay my would-be mother in-law an impromptu visit. What the woman told me is still very fresh on my mind and immediately I said to myself,na better mother in-law be this.

Bro,no let anybody pressure you into marriage. Cuz inside relationship self,we don pass through alot,how much more e go be for inside marriage.

Nuf said already 📌

Nice read

franchasng:
Its subjective and based on individual experience.


Agreed, some ladies can make life a living hell for their partners while acting like all is well.


Many ladies enter into marriage empty handed and expecting their husband to become a commando and spider man Pope John Paul The Bill Gates at the same time, it can be frustrating if you are married to such women at the long run, reason many men regret getting married.


The truth is, in Nigerian setting, marriage seem to benefit women more than men, especially when the man is financially successful, the only thing he benefits is having children and heir in wedlock, outside that nothing else for most Nigerian married men and reason some see marriage as a waste of time.


I addressed some issues on a new thread on my profile for single ladies to learn.


Many well to do men are regretting getting married because they married valueless women whose only contribution is sex that many married men even get bored of over time due to over-familiarity and the natural male trait of desiring new experience at some point.


So to all single and married ladies reading, this is a wake up call for you all, try and become valuable woman that contributes immensely to the success and growth of the man and the overall family finance to avoid your man having this kind of regret of marrying you at the long run.


Marriage in this time and era is beyond providing sex and keeping the home, domestic staffs and side chicks can provide those, be more than just that, be a valuable woman, strive to be a contributor to your husband and family's financial growth and wellbeing, peace

ollyboy900:
Bro i tried. My estranged woman family is the type that do not want their daughters (children in short including their only son) to live even a mile away from them. The story long

When we were preparing for wedding, they wanted to force me to rent a N1m flat on the Lagos Island (Omo, after all the wedding expenses and their unreasonable traditional wedding list) , my capacity was a N450k 2 bedroom flat at the time (2018), on the Mainland.

This caused friction for more than 2year as her mother said she would never come to our house because it's far. I sensed her hanger was because she couldn't control me perhaps like she's doing two her other two son inlaws

Her mother built on the island so she was obviously trying to make us stay close to her. Her other two daughters; one lives on the same street with her hubby, the other lives in her mother's building with her hubby (Chaii that cannot be me). They are obviously well to do than my family but i no send them, i get good job, i have ambition and i know my strength.

I got the shocker after the wedding, we conceived my first son just 2 weeks after the wedding (Yes, na my son no worries. DNA is done) and sorry i forgot to mention that my estranged madam works on the island, so her office is closer to her mother's home. That how she told me that she would be staying in her mother's house from Monday till Friday, she will come home on friday then leave again on Monday just to avoid traffic stress to and fro daily,

We have agreed before wedding that she would seek job at ikeja, closer to home after wedding but she seems not interested in that anymore.
When i explained my disapproval of her decision to her family, they obviously backed their daughter and that showed me that it was orchestrated by them.

Bro, that's how i lived for 7.5yrs in that marriage ooo, partly married, weekend wife. We were blessed with two handsome boys. But just like a poster said up there, mostly men must act the fool for the marriage to work (what a big fool i was 😀).

When it comes to the home, i pay 99.99% of the expenses, from children schools fees, house rent, kids upkip, food stuff, all kitchen gadgets that mostly reasonable women would get themselves (except all plates, spoons and cups we use in the house despite that madam is working). Compound cleaner was the least monthly expense i paid, just N1500. Madam didn't pay a single one for all the period of marriage, even when i sat her down to reason, she wouldn't change.
Even if expenses is choking me (You know those time when house rent expires children resumes a new section, family car broke down all at once?), when i get them sorted out, she will never bother to ask me how i did.

But what broke the camels's back happened last year 2025. September 2024, i paid for her professional exam, i encouraged her to start so that when she becomes chattered, she would be able to get good job closer to home (ikeja been the target), she did her her first diet in November, result should be out in max a month time, but she never tell me her results, i kept asking but she said she hasn't check. I noticed she may be having cold feet about the result, but i told her not to worry. It is unlikely you pass all your papers at once, i am the one paying, just read.

I later heard from an outsider that she passed one out of four papers, she never told me. Towards the end of December 2024, i bought a lithium battery to ensure we have steady light at home so she can read in the midnight. Unfortunately, that battery exploded on Wednesday 8th January while charging it, alot of properties were destroyed, it was around 8pm, thank God she was away with my kids and thank God it wasn't when i was sleeping. Neighbors rose to my help and we quench the fire but the damage was much.

I informed madam the second morning and told her not to worry that I'm safe, know fully that she will be home on friday. When she return she never said anything, never bothered how i survived, never greeted me. I had electrician working (because all the 6 prepaid meter in our compound were burnt) painters working, aluminum man changing all the broken windows etc. But nothing like "How is it going" from madam or her family members (i overheard her telling telling her that about the situation over the phone later that day)

That day i knew i married my enemy and i was the only one in that marriage, she doesn't care.
I felt pained, rejected and lonely but i left it behind for my kids' sake. I tried to find out from her if i offended her in anyway or why she couldn't be stone hearted towards me like that, but she said "nothing". For the first time in 7yrs, i reported her to her father but i see no changes or even feedback from her father.

But the decision to leave happened in june last year to October, i was sick to the point of no return. Millions of Naira gone finding my health, but madam was never there, she didn't even take a one day leave to stay by me. Her parent was informed on my condition but never bother to call or even pay a visit.
Then my siblings started coming to my house to take care of me, each of them stays a month before next one comes (i always inform her of their coming so she doesn't feel off). Even when she comes home in the weekend and i insist that she should be the one to make my food, she won't, she will say my family members is around and should make my food afterall they do it when she's not around.
I had to leave home early in September because my siblings also left their lives to take care of my out of love (thank God i am good to all of the; so the love was massive), one of them, kid sister lives in ibadan and not married yet, so i moved to stay with her and continue my search for healing. I decided not inform her to see if she would be worried of my wereabout. For 3 months sept-Nov, she didn't bother to call any of my family member to find out about me or where i could be, her parent? the same. She still comes home every weekend without the kids, (perhaps because of her studies), i do see her from the CCTV.

Then, i knew i had to leave. Then i packed my load outa the house towards November ending (still had 5 months rent when i packed), got an apartment in another state and living my life. Thank God for the investments here and there cause i couldn't work (I run my own business) throughout the period and medical bills was much, i still took care of all the home and kids financial needs. Madam's contribution was on N10k throughout the ordeal, and that's on the day i was run rushed to General hospital cos i hadn't been sleeping for 14days straight. My car was out of fuel and i was out of cash.

Now she is fully back to her parents' house, are other 2 sisters are back too (their husbands don carry the children and left). Her only brother is 34, unmarried, still staying with the mother. Father and mother are no divorced but haven't been living together for like 15yrs. Now their family pastors are the one calling me and my siblings up and down preaching "what God has join together" bulls**hit.

She was a good girl before marriage, but trust me, this gender sabi hide their true color. I never cheated on her (infact I've never had intimacy with 2 woman in my life), not that i can't but it doesn't just align with my moral value, i provide, i made her my best friend but it wasn't enough. No one should tell me about "marry right" because no relationship feels wrong before you say i do. There is a reason why apostles paul admonished men in the bible not to marry if not to fall into adultry, marriage is trouble. If yours hasn't come, congrats. Enjoy it while it last, early or later, you must regret something about it. And if your marriage is below 5yrs, abeg don't think you have a good home yet, time will test your marriage

So now my brother, i must thank you for allowing me to vent this off, can't believe i wrote this epistle. My focus now is to build my empire so my boys can be proud of me cos i plan to give them the world. I will go see them in school tomorrow to celebrate their birthday ( Cake, biscuit, sweet parcel, everything is ready 🤫🤫).

I still thank God all these challenges surfaced while I'm still young. At 37, i still have greater things ahead of me, women may not be one of them though.

Mehn, this your experience carry too much weight, we can't lift it. From what you wrote, classism was at play.
The mother said she would never come to mainland(reason, it is far). The fact is, she never wanted you to marry her daughter, part of why they gave you unreasonable wedding list. If it was a weathy family who are based in Abj the daughter got married into, Abj wouldn't be that far from momma's house on the Lagos island.

I think it is sad to say this; your enstranged weekend wifey never loved you in the first place. It was about the wedding to her, not the marriage. She couldn't cook for you when you were sick, never cared to ask you for once, how are you doing". Well, even the sisters who stayed back on the island close to mama are all back home to mama like your weekend wifey. So, the pattern speaks for itself. It would be very questionable to blame all three sons in-law for the return of three sisters back home. The controlled and the uncontrolled all lost their wivies to momma, simple.

If they truly accepted you from the beginning, the renting of apartment on the island or mainland wouldn't be an issue.
You are welcome bro, vent oh, sometimes it is needed. Eh dey ease burden on mind. And Happy bithday to your kids.

tonididdy:
Surrogacy?
That's def not cheap + are you planning to be a single parent to the incoming child?

Its definitely not cheap but worth it. I will be the dormant parent no custody issues ever expected because documents were signed.

Eraddray:
It's a rubbish advise at the end of the day... loneliness hit different when u're old...from 65yrs upwards...either for a man or woman..
Tho u will face challenges...as long as she's not cheating on u...u will surely find a balance and it's surely worth the stress at the end..cuz anybody wey marry and the wife dey cheat on him...na another man wife he marry oo..no be him wife

If u were very smart, u shld first check the average life expectancy of a nigerian.

Hint: its no where near 60!

CHoccolaTE:
To all the guys that are not planning to get married but want kids at the same time, better get professional surrogate mother's to carry the pregnancy and pay her afterwards.

Also get professional wet nurse to breastfeed your kids and pay her after she's done with breastfeeding.

Also get professional nanny to take care of your kids, bathe them, feed them, keep them safe from killing themselves while you go to work. Everyday.

DO NOT GET BABY MAMAS.

You people are looking for women to turn to single mothers and to destroy with your selfishness. You claim women don't contribute anything but you want to get baby mamas to bear your kids and take care of them free of charge. Una dey crase.

Stupid mad men.

Ok stop crying. We go hire u. How much?

gigabyte13:
If you married wrongly, your disposition to marriage will be wrong.
If you marry right, your deposition towards marriage will be right........

Marriage is actually a blessing, l have been married for 6 years now, fight dey not physical oooooooooooo, argument plenty but, both of us no fit leave the other in pain or sorrow lailai.

Reach the end of it first

kushme:
Mehn, this your experience carry too much weight, we can't lift it. From what you wrote, classism was at play.
The mother said she would never come to mainland(reason, it is far). The fact is, she never wanted you to marry her daughter, part of why they gave you unreasonable wedding list. If it was a weathy family who are based in Abj the daughter got married into, Abj wouldn't be that far from momma's house on the Lagos island.

I think it is sad to say this; your enstranged weekend wifey never loved you in the first place. It was about the wedding to her, not the marriage. She couldn't cook for you when you were sick, never cared to ask you for once, how are you doing". Well, even the sisters who stayed back on the island close to mama are all back home to mama like your weekend wifey. So, the pattern speaks for itself. It would be very questionable to blame all three sons in-law for the return of three sisters back home. The controlled and the uncontrolled all lost their wivies to momma, simple.

If they truly accepted you from the beginning, the renting of apartment on the island or mainland wouldn't be an issue.
You are welcome bro, vent oh, sometimes it is needed. Eh dey ease burden on mind. And Happy bithday to your kids.

Hoooo mheen, everything you said is true bro. If the mother inlaw wants her daughters out of wedlock, who am i to stick to the marriage, knowing fully that it's a battle i can't win.
Sometimes being a good man is not enough, some elements of luck dey inside this marriage stuff. For now, my life and peace of mind matters than pleasing the society and old on to a bad marriage.
And Thanks you for wishing my boys Happy Birthday, God bless you.

.

ollyboy900:
Hoooo mheen, everything you said is true bro. If the mother inlaw wants her daughters out of wedlock, who am i to stick to the marriage, knowing fully that it's a battle i can't win.
Sometimes being a good man is not enough, some elements of luck dey inside this marriage stuff. For now, my life and peace of mind matters than pleasing the society and old on to a bad marriage.
And Thanks you for wishing my boys Happy Birthday, God bless you.

There's nothing as painful as being in a marriage and still feel lonely. I'm sorry for everything you went through, I cringed reading your story cos I don't think I have that kind of energy, I would have long abandoned the marriage and ran. I have decided that in this short life of ours, one thing I cannot allow anyone tamper with is MY " PEACE of MIND" cos a lack of it can make a man age quicker or lose himself.

I am very new in the marriage venture, 3 years in it, a son and another baby on the way dropping any time soon. As a matter of fact I have learnt in these 3 years what can last me a lifetime. She's a great friend, a wonderful woman and wife and understands my personality to the last, so she knows how to act around me and I treat her well too with lots of love and respect. The only thing I just need is plenty of God's blessings and uncommon favour. At the moment things are not so good like I'd want but it's a phase that'll pass.

In all my peace of mind is 1000% intact, in fact she overdoses me with it. If there's anything to go wrong it would come from me and she knows that.

My personal opinion is that we knew what these women are even before we married them, just that at the early stages it's all butterflies so decision making tends to be a bit emotional and then in marriage the real nature of everyone comes to light. A good woman who listens to you, understands you, values you becomes even better and so it is for a good man.

I wish your boys a happy birthday and my Guuuuuuuy Pleaseeeeeeeeeeee enjoy your peace cos you deserve it after the shege you endured, Me?, I go don run sinceeeee cos I no get extra strength, I dey conserve my energy.


In marriage we learn DATING AND MARRIAGE aren't the same, it's about sacrifices from both parties and a return of energy.

I wish you the very best Gee

maasoap:
But they're married nonetheless, right? How many of them has divorced? Or better still, how many of them has separated from their wife?
They might be genuinely advising you not to marry but let me tell you, the alternative which is not getting married is worse. Ask those who are of marriageble age but for some reasons couldn't, widowers, separated, they will tell you that the alternative which is loneliness is worse.

Who told u you must be married before u can defeat loneliness? So u think d opposite of marriage is staying alone?

Reason right guy!

mysticwarrior:
Calm down na you and am born the pikin, the day you get send money, the day you no get lock up she must find money, but if na the one wey you and am day house them go frustrate shege commot for your life.

That guy na jewman. Free am

Jayboiii:
You are very correct but old age is a very lonely age no matter how rich one is..cos ur children would have their lives to live, they would visit occasionally, most of one's age mate might be dead, ones siblings might also be dead, if u are wealthy which most ppl feel will make them immune to the loneliness associated with old age they think they can employ staff to cater for them but at that age the so called staff see you as a cash cow, looking for every opportunity to steal from u and God help you they don't murder you to steal ur valuables..I have decided anything I am not happy with in my marriage I get it outside after all many things made me attracted to my wife when I eventually found out somethings I didn't like I outsourced it..I love sex but my wife doesn't.. I got one sharp fwb who I call anytime i am in the mood.take care of her needs and she is a good gal.

Same way ur wife too could fast track ur death for her to inherit ur possession or to revenge for cheating on her 20 yrs ago, when u thought she had forgotten or forgiven.

The sword cuts both ways!

And if u were trained well with good manners u should look into ur family for the right answer ..if ppl are dying in ur family at the age of 60... Then look for solutions

JoeEeL:
If u were very smart, u shld first check the average life expectancy of a nigerian.

Hint: its no where near 60!

ollyboy900:
Bro i tried. My estranged woman family is the type that do not want their daughters (children in short including their only son) to live even a mile away from them. The story long

When we were preparing for wedding, they wanted to force me to rent a N1m flat on the Lagos Island (Omo, after all the wedding expenses and their unreasonable traditional wedding list) , my capacity was a N450k 2 bedroom flat at the time (2018), on the Mainland.

This caused friction for more than 2year as her mother said she would never come to our house because it's far. I sensed her hanger was because she couldn't control me perhaps like she's doing two her other two son inlaws

Her mother built on the island so she was obviously trying to make us stay close to her. Her other two daughters; one lives on the same street with her hubby, the other lives in her mother's building with her hubby (Chaii that cannot be me). They are obviously well to do than my family but i no send them, i get good job, i have ambition and i know my strength.

I got the shocker after the wedding, we conceived my first son just 2 weeks after the wedding (Yes, na my son no worries. DNA is done) and sorry i forgot to mention that my estranged madam works on the island, so her office is closer to her mother's home. That how she told me that she would be staying in her mother's house from Monday till Friday, she will come home on friday then leave again on Monday just to avoid traffic stress to and fro daily,

We have agreed before wedding that she would seek job at ikeja, closer to home after wedding but she seems not interested in that anymore.
When i explained my disapproval of her decision to her family, they obviously backed their daughter and that showed me that it was orchestrated by them.

Bro, that's how i lived for 7.5yrs in that marriage ooo, partly married, weekend wife. We were blessed with two handsome boys. But just like a poster said up there, mostly men must act the fool for the marriage to work (what a big fool i was 😀).

When it comes to the home, i pay 99.99% of the expenses, from children schools fees, house rent, kids upkip, food stuff, all kitchen gadgets that mostly reasonable women would get themselves (except all plates, spoons and cups we use in the house despite that madam is working). Compound cleaner was the least monthly expense i paid, just N1500. Madam didn't pay a single one for all the period of marriage, even when i sat her down to reason, she wouldn't change.
Even if expenses is choking me (You know those time when house rent expires children resumes a new section, family car broke down all at once?), when i get them sorted out, she will never bother to ask me how i did.

But what broke the camels's back happened last year 2025. September 2024, i paid for her professional exam, i encouraged her to start so that when she becomes chattered, she would be able to get good job closer to home (ikeja been the target), she did her her first diet in November, result should be out in max a month time, but she never tell me her results, i kept asking but she said she hasn't check. I noticed she may be having cold feet about the result, but i told her not to worry. It is unlikely you pass all your papers at once, i am the one paying, just read.

I later heard from an outsider that she passed one out of four papers, she never told me. Towards the end of December 2024, i bought a lithium battery to ensure we have steady light at home so she can read in the midnight. Unfortunately, that battery exploded on Wednesday 8th January while charging it, alot of properties were destroyed, it was around 8pm, thank God she was away with my kids and thank God it wasn't when i was sleeping. Neighbors rose to my help and we quench the fire but the damage was much.

I informed madam the second morning and told her not to worry that I'm safe, know fully that she will be home on friday. When she return she never said anything, never bothered how i survived, never greeted me. I had electrician working (because all the 6 prepaid meter in our compound were burnt) painters working, aluminum man changing all the broken windows etc. But nothing like "How is it going" from madam or her family members (i overheard her telling telling her that about the situation over the phone later that day)

That day i knew i married my enemy and i was the only one in that marriage, she doesn't care.
I felt pained, rejected and lonely but i left it behind for my kids' sake. I tried to find out from her if i offended her in anyway or why she couldn't be stone hearted towards me like that, but she said "nothing". For the first time in 7yrs, i reported her to her father but i see no changes or even feedback from her father.

But the decision to leave happened in june last year to October, i was sick to the point of no return. Millions of Naira gone finding my health, but madam was never there, she didn't even take a one day leave to stay by me. Her parent was informed on my condition but never bother to call or even pay a visit.
Then my siblings started coming to my house to take care of me, each of them stays a month before next one comes (i always inform her of their coming so she doesn't feel off). Even when she comes home in the weekend and i insist that she should be the one to make my food, she won't, she will say my family members is around and should make my food afterall they do it when she's not around.
I had to leave home early in September because my siblings also left their lives to take care of my out of love (thank God i am good to all of the; so the love was massive), one of them, kid sister lives in ibadan and not married yet, so i moved to stay with her and continue my search for healing. I decided not inform her to see if she would be worried of my wereabout. For 3 months sept-Nov, she didn't bother to call any of my family member to find out about me or where i could be, her parent? the same. She still comes home every weekend without the kids, (perhaps because of her studies), i do see her from the CCTV.

Then, i knew i had to leave. Then i packed my load outa the house towards November ending (still had 5 months rent when i packed), got an apartment in another state and living my life. Thank God for the investments here and there cause i couldn't work (I run my own business) throughout the period and medical bills was much, i still took care of all the home and kids financial needs. Madam's contribution was on N10k throughout the ordeal, and that's on the day i was run rushed to General hospital cos i hadn't been sleeping for 14days straight. My car was out of fuel and i was out of cash.

Now she is fully back to her parents' house, are other 2 sisters are back too (their husbands don carry the children and left). Her only brother is 34, unmarried, still staying with the mother. Father and mother are no divorced but haven't been living together for like 15yrs. Now their family pastors are the one calling me and my siblings up and down preaching "what God has join together" bulls**hit.

She was a good girl before marriage, but trust me, this gender sabi hide their true color. I never cheated on her (infact I've never had intimacy with 2 woman in my life), not that i can't but it doesn't just align with my moral value, i provide, i made her my best friend but it wasn't enough. No one should tell me about "marry right" because no relationship feels wrong before you say i do. There is a reason why apostles paul admonished men in the bible not to marry if not to fall into adultry, marriage is trouble. If yours hasn't come, congrats. Enjoy it while it last, early or later, you must regret something about it. And if your marriage is below 5yrs, abeg don't think you have a good home yet, time will test your marriage

So now my brother, i must thank you for allowing me to vent this off, can't believe i wrote this epistle. My focus now is to build my empire so my boys can be proud of me cos i plan to give them the world. I will go see them in school tomorrow to celebrate their birthday ( Cake, biscuit, sweet parcel, everything is ready 🤫🤫).

I still thank God all these challenges surfaced while I'm still young. At 37, i still have greater things ahead of me, women may not be one of them though.

U are an example of what it means for a man to waste his life in marriage. Imagine u were never married and kept reinvesting in ur businesses, u will be able to fund trips to beaches and resorts in other african countries, date their girls or even take any 9ja babe with u just for temporary fun.

If too costly, u can take trips to resorts or nice hotels and restaurants in nigeria here. And ur money would be really passive. In fact u could partly retire in ur early 40's while those doing marriage and yeye love will have to keep working their finger to the bones even to their 60's and 70's. Blind emotion is what makes men fall into this obvious trap where the odds are grossly against them!

U are a prime example why I have declined to marry. I know this is my end if I marry. That need, that primordial need men simply have to just put woman for house is not very logical. And if u cant do without it, postpone it to ur late 30's or early 40's when u don balance well, and toss them around and change them like the tissues they are. They never come into the life of a man to build him anyway... so whats the fuss about them?

ollyboy900:
Bro i tried. My estranged woman family is the type that do not want their daughters (children in short including their only son) to live even a mile away from them. The story long

When we were preparing for wedding, they wanted to force me to rent a N1m flat on the Lagos Island (Omo, after all the wedding expenses and their unreasonable traditional wedding list) , my capacity was a N450k 2 bedroom flat at the time (2018), on the Mainland.

This caused friction for more than 2year as her mother said she would never come to our house because it's far. I sensed her hanger was because she couldn't control me perhaps like she's doing two her other two son inlaws

Her mother built on the island so she was obviously trying to make us stay close to her. Her other two daughters; one lives on the same street with her hubby, the other lives in her mother's building with her hubby (Chaii that cannot be me). They are obviously well to do than my family but i no send them, i get good job, i have ambition and i know my strength.

I got the shocker after the wedding, we conceived my first son just 2 weeks after the wedding (Yes, na my son no worries. DNA is done) and sorry i forgot to mention that my estranged madam works on the island, so her office is closer to her mother's home. That how she told me that she would be staying in her mother's house from Monday till Friday, she will come home on friday then leave again on Monday just to avoid traffic stress to and fro daily,

We have agreed before wedding that she would seek job at ikeja, closer to home after wedding but she seems not interested in that anymore.
When i explained my disapproval of her decision to her family, they obviously backed their daughter and that showed me that it was orchestrated by them.

Bro, that's how i lived for 7.5yrs in that marriage ooo, partly married, weekend wife. We were blessed with two handsome boys. But just like a poster said up there, mostly men must act the fool for the marriage to work (what a big fool i was 😀).

When it comes to the home, i pay 99.99% of the expenses, from children schools fees, house rent, kids upkip, food stuff, all kitchen gadgets that mostly reasonable women would get themselves (except all plates, spoons and cups we use in the house despite that madam is working). Compound cleaner was the least monthly expense i paid, just N1500. Madam didn't pay a single one for all the period of marriage, even when i sat her down to reason, she wouldn't change.
Even if expenses is choking me (You know those time when house rent expires children resumes a new section, family car broke down all at once?), when i get them sorted out, she will never bother to ask me how i did.

But what broke the camels's back happened last year 2025. September 2024, i paid for her professional exam, i encouraged her to start so that when she becomes chattered, she would be able to get good job closer to home (ikeja been the target), she did her her first diet in November, result should be out in max a month time, but she never tell me her results, i kept asking but she said she hasn't check. I noticed she may be having cold feet about the result, but i told her not to worry. It is unlikely you pass all your papers at once, i am the one paying, just read.

I later heard from an outsider that she passed one out of four papers, she never told me. Towards the end of December 2024, i bought a lithium battery to ensure we have steady light at home so she can read in the midnight. Unfortunately, that battery exploded on Wednesday 8th January while charging it, alot of properties were destroyed, it was around 8pm, thank God she was away with my kids and thank God it wasn't when i was sleeping. Neighbors rose to my help and we quench the fire but the damage was much.

I informed madam the second morning and told her not to worry that I'm safe, know fully that she will be home on friday. When she return she never said anything, never bothered how i survived, never greeted me. I had electrician working (because all the 6 prepaid meter in our compound were burnt) painters working, aluminum man changing all the broken windows etc. But nothing like "How is it going" from madam or her family members (i overheard her telling telling her that about the situation over the phone later that day)

That day i knew i married my enemy and i was the only one in that marriage, she doesn't care.
I felt pained, rejected and lonely but i left it behind for my kids' sake. I tried to find out from her if i offended her in anyway or why she couldn't be stone hearted towards me like that, but she said "nothing". For the first time in 7yrs, i reported her to her father but i see no changes or even feedback from her father.

But the decision to leave happened in june last year to October, i was sick to the point of no return. Millions of Naira gone finding my health, but madam was never there, she didn't even take a one day leave to stay by me. Her parent was informed on my condition but never bother to call or even pay a visit.
Then my siblings started coming to my house to take care of me, each of them stays a month before next one comes (i always inform her of their coming so she doesn't feel off). Even when she comes home in the weekend and i insist that she should be the one to make my food, she won't, she will say my family members is around and should make my food afterall they do it when she's not around.
I had to leave home early in September because my siblings also left their lives to take care of my out of love (thank God i am good to all of the; so the love was massive), one of them, kid sister lives in ibadan and not married yet, so i moved to stay with her and continue my search for healing. I decided not inform her to see if she would be worried of my wereabout. For 3 months sept-Nov, she didn't bother to call any of my family member to find out about me or where i could be, her parent? the same. She still comes home every weekend without the kids, (perhaps because of her studies), i do see her from the CCTV.

Then, i knew i had to leave. Then i packed my load outa the house towards November ending (still had 5 months rent when i packed), got an apartment in another state and living my life. Thank God for the investments here and there cause i couldn't work (I run my own business) throughout the period and medical bills was much, i still took care of all the home and kids financial needs. Madam's contribution was on N10k throughout the ordeal, and that's on the day i was run rushed to General hospital cos i hadn't been sleeping for 14days straight. My car was out of fuel and i was out of cash.

Now she is fully back to her parents' house, are other 2 sisters are back too (their husbands don carry the children and left). Her only brother is 34, unmarried, still staying with the mother. Father and mother are no divorced but haven't been living together for like 15yrs. Now their family pastors are the one calling me and my siblings up and down preaching "what God has join together" bulls**hit.

She was a good girl before marriage, but trust me, this gender sabi hide their true color. I never cheated on her (infact I've never had intimacy with 2 woman in my life), not that i can't but it doesn't just align with my moral value, i provide, i made her my best friend but it wasn't enough. No one should tell me about "marry right" because no relationship feels wrong before you say i do. There is a reason why apostles paul admonished men in the bible not to marry if not to fall into adultry, marriage is trouble. If yours hasn't come, congrats. Enjoy it while it last, early or later, you must regret something about it. And if your marriage is below 5yrs, abeg don't think you have a good home yet, time will test your marriage

So now my brother, i must thank you for allowing me to vent this off, can't believe i wrote this epistle. My focus now is to build my empire so my boys can be proud of me cos i plan to give them the world. I will go see them in school tomorrow to celebrate their birthday ( Cake, biscuit, sweet parcel, everything is ready 🤫🤫).

I still thank God all these challenges surfaced while I'm still young. At 37, i still have greater things ahead of me, women may not be one of them though.

Big bros, this your experience ehn, really choke.
The red flag has always been there , maybe you didn’t notice it, or maybe you did and thought you could handle it in the long run. Perhaps your first mistake. I’ve always told my guys, even if you just met a lady today, and you spot a red flag, no matter how beautiful she is, cut her off immediately. The mistake that we men mostly make is wanting to prove that we are men and can handle women’s bs and form maturity , Then it spirals beyond something that we can contain as time progresses, then we lose our frame and become emasculated.

Second mistake is over looking the power dynamics at play at the home your wife grew up, seems to me like the mother was in control and ran it like a military camp. women like that always want to raise thier daughters to be like them in marriage. And the foolish daughters always think all her ill advices comes from a place of motherly love , not knowing that the agenda here is to make sure that thier own marriage too is not as successful because misery love company. How can three daughters , previously married , end up living with thier mother ? Coincidence? or a crazy pattern?. Just glad to see that you’re optimistic and looking foward to a great future

[quote author=ollyboy900 post=138328764]Bro i tried. My estranged woman family is the type that do not want their daughters (children in short including their only son) to live even a mile away from them. The story long

When we were preparing for wedding, they wanted to force me to rent a N1m flat on the Lagos Island (Omo, after all the wedding expenses and their unreasonable traditional wedding list) , my capacity was a N450k 2 bedroom flat at the time (2018), on the Mainland.

This caused friction for more than 2year as her mother said she would never come to our house because it's far. I sensed her hanger was because she couldn't control me perhaps like she's doing two her other two son inlaws

Her mother built on the island so she was obviously trying to make us stay close to her. Her other two daughters; one lives on the same street with her hubby, the other lives in her mother's building with her hubby (Chaii that cannot be me). They are obviously well to do than my family but i no send them, i get good job, i have ambition and i know my strength.

I got the shocker after the wedding, we conceived my first son just 2 weeks after the wedding (Yes, na my son no worries. DNA is done) and sorry i forgot to mention that my estranged madam works on the island, so her office is closer to her mother's home. That how she told me that she would be staying in her mother's house from Monday till Friday, she will come home on friday then leave again on Monday just to avoid traffic stress to and fro daily,

We have agreed before wedding that she would seek job at ikeja, closer to home after wedding but she seems not interested in that anymore.
When i explained my disapproval of her decision to her family, they obviously backed their daughter and that showed me that it was orchestrated by them.

Bro, that's how i lived for 7.5yrs in that marriage ooo, partly married, weekend wife. We were blessed with two handsome boys. But just like a poster said up there, mostly men must act the fool for the marriage to work (what a big fool i was 😀).

When it comes to the home, i pay 99.99% of the expenses, from children schools fees, house rent, kids upkip, food stuff, all kitchen gadgets that mostly reasonable women would get themselves (except all plates, spoons and cups we use in the house despite that madam is working). Compound cleaner was the least monthly expense i paid, just N1500. Madam didn't pay a single one for all the period of marriage, even when i sat her down to reason, she wouldn't change.
Even if expenses is choking me (You know those time when house rent expires children resumes a new section, family car broke down all at once?), when i get them sorted out, she will never bother to ask me how i did.

But what broke the camels's back happened last year 2025. September 2024, i paid for her professional exam, i encouraged her to start so that when she becomes chattered, she would be able to get good job closer to home (ikeja been the target), she did her her first diet in November, result should be out in max a month time, but she never tell me her results, i kept asking but she said she hasn't check. I noticed she may be having cold feet about the result, but i told her not to worry. It is unlikely you pass all your papers at once, i am the one paying, just read.

I later heard from an outsider that she passed one out of four papers, she never told me. Towards the end of December 2024, i bought a lithium battery to ensure we have steady light at home so she can read in the midnight. Unfortunately, that battery exploded on Wednesday 8th January while charging it, alot of properties were destroyed, it was around 8pm, thank God she was away with my kids and thank God it wasn't when i was sleeping. Neighbors rose to my help and we quench the fire but the damage was much.

I informed madam the second morning and told her not to worry that I'm safe, know fully that she will be home on friday. When she return she never said anything, never bothered how i survived, never greeted me. I had electrician working (because all the 6 prepaid meter in our compound were burnt) painters working, aluminum man changing all the broken windows etc. But nothing like "How is it going" from madam or her family members (i overheard her telling telling her that about the situation over the phone later that day)

That day i knew i married my enemy and i was the only one in that marriage, she doesn't care.
I felt pained, rejected and lonely but i left it behind for my kids' sake. I tried to find out from her if i offended her in anyway or why she couldn't be stone hearted towards me like that, but she said "nothing". For the first time in 7yrs, i reported her to her father but i see no changes or even feedback from her father.

But the decision to leave happened in june last year to October, i was sick to the point of no return. Millions of Naira gone finding my health, but madam was never there, she didn't even take a one day leave to stay by me. Her parent was informed on my condition but never bother to call or even pay a visit.
Then my siblings started coming to my house to take care of me, each of them stays a month before next one comes (i always inform her of their coming so she doesn't feel off). Even when she comes home in the weekend and i insist that she should be the one to make my food, she won't, she will say my family members is around and should make my food afterall they do it when she's not around.
I had to leave home early in September because my siblings also left their lives to take care of my out of love (thank God i am good to all of the; so the love was massive), one of them, kid sister lives in ibadan and not married yet, so i moved to stay with her and continue my search for healing. I decided not inform her to see if she would be worried of my wereabout. For 3 months sept-Nov, she didn't bother to call any of my family member to find out about me or where i could be, her parent? the same. She still comes home every weekend without the kids, (perhaps because of her studies), i do see her from the CCTV.

Then, i knew i had to leave. Then i packed my load outa the house towards November ending (still had 5 months rent when i packed), got an apartment in another state and living my life. Thank God for the investments here and there cause i couldn't work (I run my own business) throughout the period and medical bills was much, i still took care of all the home and kids financial needs. Madam's contribution was on N10k throughout the ordeal, and that's on the day i was run rushed to General hospital cos i hadn't been sleeping for 14days straight. My car was out of fuel and i was out of cash.

Now she is fully back to her parents' house, are other 2 sisters are back too (their husbands don carry the children and left). Her only brother is 34, unmarried, still staying with the mother. Father and mother are no divorced but haven't been living together for like 15yrs. Now their family pastors are the one calling me and my siblings up and down preaching "what God has join together" bulls**hit.

She was a good girl before marriage, but trust me, this gender sabi hide their true color. I never cheated on her (infact I've never had intimacy with 2 woman in my life), not that i can't but it doesn't just align with my moral value, i provide, i made her my best friend but it wasn't enough. No one should tell me about "marry right" because no relationship feels wrong before you say i do. There is a reason why apostles paul admonished men in the bible not to marry if not to fall into adultry, marriage is trouble. If yours hasn't come, congrats. Enjoy it while it last, early or later, you must regret something about it. And if your marriage is below 5yrs, abeg don't think you have a good home yet, time will test your marriage

So now my brother, i must thank you for allowing me to vent this off, can't believe i wrote this epistle. My focus now is to build my empire so my boys can be proud of me cos i plan to give them the world. I will go see them in school tomorrow to celebrate their birthday ( Cake, biscuit, sweet parcel, everything is ready 🤫🤫).

I still thank God all these challenges surfaced while I'm still young. At 37, i still have greater things ahead of me, women may not be one of them though.

I'm happy God see you through, not an easy task you face.


Just like the man way you be, you should know what to do in her case, and for the boys happy birthday to them

ollyboy900:
Now she is fully back to her parents' house, are other 2 sisters are back too (their husbands don carry the children and left). Her only brother is 34, unmarried, still staying with the mother. Father and mother are no divorced but haven't been living together for like 15yrs.

I read all you wrote and I'm truly stunned. I'm not married o, but i will never say anyone having a bad marriage married wrongly. Most men are too analytical to jump into a bottomless pit with their eyes open, but wetin dey change those wo en after marraige an wetin i no know

AAs for this side i quote, doesnt the mother see anything wrong in it?

Babatunjo:
So I was at dinner with a friend this week. Guy has been married for about 8 years now... married almost immediately after uni. Tall guy, always had fine girlfriends back in school. You’d think na him go dey hype marriage pass.

Out of nowhere, he just sighed and said he regrets marrying… apart from the kids.
His advice shocked me.

He said if he were single again in 2026 Nigeria, he would never marry. That I should just find a woman, have between 1 to 3 kids if I want, make her comfortable, take care of my responsibilities... but avoid marriage completely.

I laughed it off, but then it hit me:
My boss had told me something very similar some time ago.
Then I remembered a former neighbour... fine wife, two kids, lovely family pictures on social media... he also warned me not to rush into marriage.

These are not bitter, broke men o. These are men society would call “successful”.

So now I’m asking myself (and una): Wetin really dey happen?
Is marriage quietly becoming something different from what we were sold?

Marriage is not something you can truly understand if you're in

As a married man I'll advise anyone to do whatever their instinct tells them , if it works fine for you,then you will be fine, if it doesn't, you end up having kids , just make sure you don't lose your mind and the kids are truly yours

You're pretty much correct. But you're not understanding things through the length this man is simply explaining.

nlfpmod:
Marriage is not by force, marriage is not for everyone. If you want to marry go ahead, if you don't want to marry you can remain single for the rest of your life.

If you marry right, you will enjoy marriage, if you marry the wrong one, you will hate marriage.

fyneboi79:
Its definitely not cheap but worth it. I will be the dormant parent no custody issues ever expected because documents were signed.

Sorry I'm still lost.
What I meant was...who will be responsible for the child's custody after birth?
Or will the surrogate mom continue to raise the child until an agreed age?
Or youll be a FT dad?

Kennatic:
There's nothing as painful as being in a marriage and still feel lonely. I'm sorry for everything you went through, I cringed reading your story cos I don't think I have that kind of energy, I would have long abandoned the marriage and ran. I have decided that in this short life of ours, one thing I cannot allow anyone tamper with is MY " PEACE of MIND" cos a lack of it can make a man age quicker or lose himself.

I am very new in the marriage venture, 3 years in it, a son and another baby on the way dropping any time soon. As a matter of fact I have learnt in these 3 years what can last me a lifetime. She's a great friend, a wonderful woman and wife and understands my personality to the last, so she knows how to act around me and I treat her well too with lots of love and respect. The only thing I just need is plenty of God's blessings and uncommon favour. At the moment things are not so good like I'd want but it's a phase that'll pass.

In all my peace of mind is 1000% intact, in fact she overdoses me with it. If there's anything to go wrong it would come from me and she knows that.

My personal opinion is that we knew what these women are even before we married them, just that at the early stages it's all butterflies so decision making tends to be a bit emotional and then in marriage the real nature of everyone comes to light. A good woman who listens to you, understands you, values you becomes even better and so it is for a good man.

I wish your boys a happy birthday and my Guuuuuuuy Pleaseeeeeeeeeeee enjoy your peace cos you deserve it after the shege you endured, Me?, I go don run sinceeeee cos I no get extra strength, I dey conserve my energy.


In marriage we learn DATING AND MARRIAGE aren't the same, it's about sacrifices from both parties and a return of energy.

I wish you the very best Gee

Things will be better for you shortly bro, rough patches in life are inevitable. We've all been there and the more wins we record, the rougher the next patches becomes.
But if you are lucky with a good woman like your wife, a woman who urges you to keep moving, then the world is yours to conquer.

JoeEeL:
U are an example of what it means for a man to waste his life in marriage. Imagine u were never married and kept reinvesting in ur businesses, u will be able to fund trips to beaches and resorts in other african countries, date their girls or even take any 9ja babe with u just for temporary fun.

If too costly, u can take trips to resorts or nice hotels and restaurants in nigeria here. And ur money would be really passive. In fact u could partly retire in ur early 40's while those doing marriage and yeye love will have to keep working their finger to the bones even to their 60's and 70's. Blind emotion is what makes men fall into this obvious trap where the odds are grossly against them!

U are a prime example why I have declined to marry. I know this is my end if I marry. That need, that primordial need men simply have to just put woman for house is not very logical. And if u cant do without it, postpone it to ur late 30's or early 40's when u don balance well, and toss them around and change them like the tissues they are. They never come into the life of a man to build him anyway... so whats the fuss about them?

Truth well told bro, you see why i refer to myself as "a big foo*l" in my write up. Man just got himself entangle just to proof to the society that he's responsible. Not anymore, now i live for myself and my children. I still plan to retire at 40 or 42 from active hustle bro, travel round the world, write my will or put my worth in trust for my boys.

Oldhead:
Big bros, this your experience ehn, really choke.
The red flag has always been there , maybe you didn’t notice it, or maybe you did and thought you could handle it in the long run. Perhaps your first mistake. I’ve always told my guys, even if you just met a lady today, and you spot a red flag, no matter how beautiful she is, cut her off immediately. The mistake that we men mostly make is wanting to prove that we are men and can handle women’s bs and form maturity , Then it spirals beyond something that we can contain as time progresses, then we lose our frame and become emasculated.

Second mistake is over looking the power dynamics at play at the home your wife grew up, seems to me like the mother was in control and ran it like a military camp. women like that always want to raise thier daughters to be like them in marriage. And the foolish daughters always think all her ill advices comes from a place of motherly love , not knowing that the agenda here is to make sure that thier own marriage too is not as successful because misery love company. How can three daughters , previously married , end up living with thier mother ? Coincidence? or a crazy pattern?. Just glad to see that you’re optimistic and looking foward to a great future

Honestly, i look for red flags in our courting years but i couldn't find any on her part. She was my coursemate in the university and we got together from the 100L so i had all the time to study her.
She was sweeter then, understanding and caring. She was even the churchy type, she would occasionally call me Omo Eshu (Devils child 😀), because, you know now, boys no get time for church stuff. How the care disappeared after marriage is what i couldn't fathom.

However, you were right about your second paragraph. Because the woman runs the house, she is obviously richer that her husband. But i was never opportuned to study them. I lived in oyo state at the time and they are based in Lagos. So even during holidays, i really never visited this babe in their home until we were ready for introduction.

ollyboy900:
Truth well told bro, you see why i refer to myself as "a big foo*l" in my write up. Man just got himself entangle just to proof to the society that he's responsible. Not anymore, now i live for myself and my children. I still plan to retire at 40 or 42 from active hustle bro, travel round the world, write my will or put my worth in trust for my boys.

Sorry for not being compassionate in my earlier writeup, not that I didnt want to be but didnt want the submission to be too long. From ur writeup, u look like someone who really got his financial life together. What is even more annoying is that you should have really turned out even much better -- and much earlier.

And its more painful cos d signs were there but u just deh postpone doomsday. Im sure u thought u struck goldmine when dis ur erstwhile wife is working-class or comes from a well-to-do background. Maybe u followed some of the online advice of guys that dating a working-class woman will be more beneficial in d long run. I know say u don realise its more than that. Woman na woman, working class or not. They are naturally extremely selfish.

Its mostly women that come from rich backgrounds that can give without flinching too much. But if a woman hustles just half of what u hustle, and u expect to be a beneficiary of her generosity... u must be joking!

======

Now, man-to-man, I want u to chin up. Me wey dey follow u talk sef just lose relationship of a couple of years. I dey this same boat too but my case no severe like ur own. See bro, just forget woman. U see that imagination wey u get of having one woman who answers to u, all those morning whatsapp romantic msgs, someone to call u when ure down etc... kill it off! As difficult as it is, kill it off.

When u were enduring ur marriage, some men out there probably thought u were living ur best life. Same way it is for many couples out there. Dont let their lovey-dovey moments suck u back in. Their bad times are not on social media, only few good moments. Dont be moved. Focus on ur hustle. When d need for sex comes, patronise olloesho or do soapy. Dont feel bad about this.

Ladies also need sex badly but how come they always feel so composed? We must applaud them for this, its serious discipline. They need sex but they can get it from u while still billing u. It takes sophistry and discipline to do that constantly. They also finger themselves while bathing, in d toilet or resting... to hold body. Them no go just tell u. They are dannmn sneaky by nature! If u dont like this, focus on ur looks, eat well, spend on urself, throw some coins around, they will come. And bang them.

Dont bother too much about companionship in old age that these washed-up high mileage puunnna girls use to scare us. U will easily get who to stay as companion with u in old age only if u go on a badoo womanizing spree in ur 40's.

Make ur bucks, enjoy. Some of d women wil lose their husbands. Alot will separate. Some of d men wil travel abroad and abandon them. Many women are unmarried. If uve slid into their panties before, u create a bond that makes it easier for them to hang around later in life.

Some of d closest girls in my life today are babes I had some form of romance with but no sex. Over 10, 15 yrs, we still talk. It was later I discovered the common denominator was that ive been in romance with some of them. Hence d closeness.

Go go bro!

JoeEeL:
Sorry for not being compassionate in my earlier writeup, not that I didnt want to be but didnt want the submission to be too long. From ur writeup, u look like someone who really got his financial life together. What is even more annoying is that you should have really turned out even much better -- and much earlier.

And its more painful cos d signs were there but u just deh postpone doomsday. Im sure u thought u struck goldmine when dis ur erstwhile wife is working-class or comes from a well-to-do background. Maybe u followed some of the online advice of guys that dating a working-class woman will be more beneficial in d long run. I know say u don realise its more than that. Woman na woman, working class or not. They are naturally extremely selfish.

Its mostly women that come from rich backgrounds that can give without flinching too much. But if a woman hustles just half of what u hustle, and u expect to be a beneficiary of her generosity... u must be joking!

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Now, man-to-man, I want u to chin up. Me wey dey follow u talk sef just lose relationship of a couple of years. I dey this same boat too but my case no severe like ur own. See bro, just forget woman. U see that imagination wey u get of having one woman who answers to u, all those morning whatsapp romantic msgs, someone to call u when ure down etc... kill it off! As difficult as it is, kill it off.

When u were enduring ur marriage, some men out there probably thought u were living ur best life. Same way it is for many couples out there. Dont let their lovey-dovey moments suck u back in. Their bad times are not on social media, only few good moments. Dont be moved. Focus on ur hustle. When d need for sex comes, patronise olloesho or do soapy. Dont feel bad about this.

Ladies also need sex badly but how come they always feel so composed? We must applaud them for this, its serious discipline. They need sex but they can get it from u while still billing u. It takes sophistry and discipline to do that constantly. They also finger themselves while bathing, in d toilet or resting... to hold body. Them no go just tell u. They are dannmn sneaky by nature! If u dont like this, focus on ur looks, eat well, spend on urself, throw some coins around, they will come. And bang them.

Dont bother too much about companionship in old age that these washed-up high mileage puunnna girls use to scare us. U will easily get who to stay as companion with u in old age only if u go on a badoo womanizing spree in ur 40's.

Make ur bucks, enjoy. Some of d women wil lose their husbands. Alot will separate. Some of d men wil travel abroad and abandon them. Many women are unmarried. If uve slid into their panties before, u create a bond that makes it easier for them to hang around later in life.

Some of d closest girls in my life today are babes I had some form of romance with but no sex. Over 10, 15 yrs, we still talk. It was later I discovered the common denominator was that ive been in romance with some of them. Hence d closeness.

Go go bro!

I wish I can like this comment a million times...it took me years to finally come to this realisation. Women are mostly liars but I have been oportuned to date a few honest ones. I got to understand the dark female psychology and I can boldly say everything you stated here about women is the truth.

ollyboy900:
Honestly, i look for red flags in our courting years but i couldn't find any on her part. She was my coursemate in the university and we got together from the 100L so i had all the time to study her.
She was sweeter then, understanding and caring. She was even the churchy type, she would occasionally call me Omo Eshu (Devils child 😀), because, you know now, boys no get time for church stuff. How the care disappeared after marriage is what i couldn't fathom.

However, you were right about your second paragraph. Because the woman runs the house, she is obviously richer that her husband. But i was never opportuned to study them. I lived in oyo state at the time and they are based in Lagos. So even during holidays, i really never visited this babe in their home until we were ready for introduction.

It is well bro, this too shall pass

Hhh4444:
I wish I can like this comment a million times...it took me years to finally come to this realisation. Women are mostly liars but I have been oportuned to date a few honest ones. I got to understand the dark female psychology and I can boldly say everything you stated here about women is the truth.

U wlcm boss