₦airaland Forum

Host78:
A whole lot of rűbbïsh you wrote there.

First off, successful women are single because they are successful.

They are single because like every woman out there, they want to "date up".

Let's imagine this, when a man is successful, he doesn't look for a girl that is "on his level" or "higher" than him to start a relationship with her.

He can go to a filling station and see a girl there and start dating her.

Ronaldo was very successful and would have gotten to date any high value actress or model from anywhere in the world.

But he at the same time is flexible enough to go to a clothing store and pick one of the sales girl there and date her.

Women lack this flexibility. No matter how successful a woman is, she still wants to date a man who is "more successful" than her.

She'll never go to the gutter to pick any kind of man, even the one that will worship the ground she walks on.

Now this severely limits her options. For a woman who has N10million in her account, she's looking for a man with almost N50-100million in liquid cash.

She's looking up and there are only such a few of such men in the dating pool. It's like saying I as a guy will only date a girl who is earning N5m per month.

There are only such few girls in this country. If I put that as my mindset, anyone wise person will know that I'm ready to be single for a long time or for life.

Now, to the second part of this equation, and this is the usual problem with these women which they don't admit to themselves: the very "more successful" men that they want don't usually want them. .

There are many successful actresses in Nigeria, but do you think someone as successful as Davido wants to date them for their success?

If I'm a man and I'm earning N10m a month on this country, why should I care what my woman is earning when I want to pick a wife?

I can comfortably take care of any woman I want. Emphasise here is on "the woman I want".

No man in history has ever listed "success" or a specific naira figure when they are looking for a wife.

To most men, all you hear is "she must be beautiful, respectful, love me, submissive, does not cheat and speak softly"

And if any man ever mentions that his wife must be hardworking, it is usually in the area of keeping his house clean.

The reason why success is never a criteria for men looking for wives is very simple: a successful woman always wants a more successful man who will still pay for everything

Take for instance, regardless of how successful these actresses are, Davido understands that "spending" in the relationship will still fall on him because he's higher than them.

So, here's a dilemma, these women are hugely successful, they have bigger appetites, they want him to impress them. What exactly does he gain in return from dating such "successful" women?

Absolutely nothing.

The success of a woman does not benefit the more successful man she wants in any meaningful way.

So why should he date her when he could find someone prettier, someone who will be more grateful for his love?

The only way a successful woman can ascertain if men are intimidated by her is her going into the village and pickin a lowlife man or an Okada man or a cab man or a salesman and changing his life.

Let her pick such a man up, brush him up and give him the world and treat him like a king just as Ronaldo or Davido is treating their "poor" spouses like they are queens.

But then this almost will never happen.

Look at someone like DJ cuppy, everyday there are men in her comment section who will marry her and treat her like a queen.

Look at tiwa savage there are men who will willingly be her 'house' husband.

But regardless of success and the money these women have, they still want a bigger fish.

Cuppy always following Anthony Joshua up and down.

Now is Anthony Joshua intimidated by DJ cuppy? Of course not.

He's just not interested because she has nothing to offer him. Not virginity, not youth, nothing.

So, single successful women are not single because men are intimidated by them. They are single because of 4 simple things:

1. They lack flexibility in that they don't want to date downward

2. The men that are higher than them, don't desire them

3. They don't really know what men want because they chase success and once they get success, they think they have higher marketplace values.

4. And so they raise their standards, meanwhile men who meet such standards, don't want them back.

And so, they are at the top, with high standards and no one to chase after them instead of them doing the chasing.

When they are supposed to chase after Okada men, pick such Okada men and turn them to "house" husbands that they can provide for, just as Ronaldo picked a salesgirl and turn her into a wife.

These successful women are still looking to be chased by men who are richer. It's a joke.

Ubunja must be proud of your analysis! I couldn't have said it better.

Yes, the men always want to be the don dadda of the house. Imagine Dangote’s convoy breezing into your house. He waves at you and other staff before he’s escorted to your wife’s study for business and political discussions.

So this is what men are trying to avoid but some of us men are too emotionally mature for that. I will only get his number from my wife if I’m interested in doing any business with him.

deebrain:
When you say successful women, you are speaking generally. There are many great women I've had privilege of working with. God go bless them for me.

I've worked with most of the people you put their pictures on your opening thread. About half of these people are not good people. I no drag anybody.

You are probably suggesting that they are single because men no dey step up to them?
To even work with some of them, you must be ready for issues in for example, payment for your work and bad attitude - on top your money.

I don't pray for even my enemy to work with some of them.

I no drag anybody but law of karma dey.

Funke Akindele is number one among them, very terrible human beings and too domineering. Only a slave can fitting in to be her husband.

Marc3500:
u go dey deceive urself dey call urself psychologist with this ur mumu analysis

you are free to disagree but why the insult. You can't even counter any point, just shows how immature you are.

OvertheTop:
But there is a popular saying:
When a Woman has Money, She needs no Man....

Do you know why ?

Tell us, let's hear from you.

budaatum:
We, is "turn personal experiences into universal laws".

If I ask Modern men on Nairaland, many are redpill olosho customer trained by Andrew Tate.

First, the claim that “modern men on Nairaland are redpilled olosho customers trained byb Andrew Tate ” is very weak and pathetic.

Nairaland is not Nigeria. It is not a census. It is a loud, anonymous subset where extreme views rise because outrage gets attention.

If we judged women by the loudest voices on Twitter or TikTok, the conclusions would be just as absurd.

You started your reply that when i say "We" i am turning personal experiences into universal laws

Yet you quickly rushed to do thesame thing you accused me by generalizing on Nairaland men while building your entire argument on internet caricatures.

But that change is inevitable.

Yes, change is inevitable. But change does not mean moral confusion. Progress does not mean exemption from accountability. Every healthy social shift in history worked because responsibility was demanded from everyone, not because one side declared permanent innocence.

Person who refused to have a vasectomy and instead drugged his wife every month because he was satisfied with his two boys and tell me he'd be able to ever sleep when my eyes open to a trick as old as Adam telling Eve she'd surely die.

I am someone who deals with facts so i had to check the Nairaland thread about the vasectomy and “drugging” story you cited. That narrative was over exaggerated by you . You made it look like he was secretly drugging his wife when she was actually taking it with her consent. What he admitted was failure on his part for not getting a vasectomy. The real issue in that post is migration stress, job loss, financial pressure, and a serious reproductive disagreement. That is a struggling marriage, not proof of male oppression or insecurity.

This is different from case where a man secretly drugs his wife and that is criminal abuse, not masculinity. Using an extreme or criminal case to define a whole gender is intellectually lazy.

By that logic, men could define women by stories of baby trapping or paternity fraud. Reasonable adults know monsters exist in every group. Atrocities are not arguments. They are outliers.

Tired of being oppressed by small minded men.

The quote “tired of being oppressed by small minded men” is an emotional statement, not a logical one. Oppression is systemic. Disagreement, incompatibility, insecurity, or bad relationships are not oppression. Calling every negative male experience oppression drains the word of meaning and disrespects people who lived under real structural oppression.

And some men are just Gods!

Finally, your own statement that “some men are just Gods” quietly collapses your argument. The moment you say “some men,” you admit men are not a monolith. That is the entire point.

No one here is denying that insecure men exist. Or abusive men. Or men threatened by successful women. What is being rejected is the habit of turning personal pain into ideology and anecdotes into universal laws.

If we are serious about progress, we must stop replacing old stereotypes with new ones. Accountability, maturity, and character are individual traits, not gender traits. I refuse to demonize men the same way I refuse to pedestalize them. Adults deserve nuance, not narratives.

EmperorIsaac:
Ubunja must be proud of your analysis! I couldn't have said it better.

long time I heard from ubunja...hope he is still alive?

Fiscus105:
Funke Akindele is number one among them, very terrible human beings and too domineering. Only a slave can fitting in to be her husband.

Abeg O. I did not mention anybody O.

Dpsychologist:
Yet you quickly rushed to do thesame thing you accused me by generalizing on Nairaland men while building your entire argument on internet caricatures..

buda is very guilty as charged "by generalizing".

Guilty for the exaggeration and the caricaturing too.

The Strong Man I added to the bottom is the absolution for my sinning, and a rally for the contribution of such men it depicts.

Because If you ask around you'd be told buda exaggeratingly generally always caricatures Nairaland boys as those animals that grunt in sties, and I'm pleasantly amazed to find you are not one of the Andrew Tate redpill olosho chasers who refuse to acknowledge the woman at all, for which, immense respect to you, Sir Dpsychologist.

Successful women give me Orgasms but not stressful women.

Host78:
A whole lot of rűbbïsh you wrote there.

First off, successful women are single because they are successful.

They are single because like every woman out there, they want to "date up".

Let's imagine this, when a man is successful, he doesn't look for a girl that is "on his level" or "higher" than him to start a relationship with her.

He can go to a filling station and see a girl there and start dating her.

Ronaldo was very successful and would have gotten to date any high value actress or model from anywhere in the world.

But he at the same time is flexible enough to go to a clothing store and pick one of the sales girl there and date her.

Women lack this flexibility. No matter how successful a woman is, she still wants to date a man who is "more successful" than her.

She'll never go to the gutter to pick any kind of man, even the one that will worship the ground she walks on.

Now this severely limits her options. For a woman who has N10million in her account, she's looking for a man with almost N50-100million in liquid cash.

She's looking up and there are only such a few of such men in the dating pool. It's like saying I as a guy will only date a girl who is earning N5m per month.

There are only such few girls in this country. If I put that as my mindset, anyone wise person will know that I'm ready to be single for a long time or for life.

Now, to the second part of this equation, and this is the usual problem with these women which they don't admit to themselves: the very "more successful" men that they want don't usually want them. .

There are many successful actresses in Nigeria, but do you think someone as successful as Davido wants to date them for their success?

If I'm a man and I'm earning N10m a month on this country, why should I care what my woman is earning when I want to pick a wife?

I can comfortably take care of any woman I want. Emphasise here is on "the woman I want".

No man in history has ever listed "success" or a specific naira figure when they are looking for a wife.

To most men, all you hear is "she must be beautiful, respectful, love me, submissive, does not cheat and speak softly"

And if any man ever mentions that his wife must be hardworking, it is usually in the area of keeping his house clean.

The reason why success is never a criteria for men looking for wives is very simple: a successful woman always wants a more successful man who will still pay for everything

Take for instance, regardless of how successful these actresses are, Davido understands that "spending" in the relationship will still fall on him because he's higher than them.

So, here's a dilemma, these women are hugely successful, they have bigger appetites, they want him to impress them. What exactly does he gain in return from dating such "successful" women?

Absolutely nothing.

The success of a woman does not benefit the more successful man she wants in any meaningful way.

So why should he date her when he could find someone prettier, someone who will be more grateful for his love?

The only way a successful woman can ascertain if men are intimidated by her is her going into the village and pickin a lowlife man or an Okada man or a cab man or a salesman and changing his life.

Let her pick such a man up, brush him up and give him the world and treat him like a king just as Ronaldo or Davido is treating their "poor" spouses like they are queens.

But then this almost will never happen.

Look at someone like DJ cuppy, everyday there are men in her comment section who will marry her and treat her like a queen.

Look at tiwa savage there are men who will willingly be her 'house' husband.

But regardless of success and the money these women have, they still want a bigger fish.

Cuppy always following Anthony Joshua up and down.

Now is Anthony Joshua intimidated by DJ cuppy? Of course not.

He's just not interested because she has nothing to offer him. Not virginity, not youth, nothing.

So, single successful women are not single because men are intimidated by them. They are single because of 4 simple things:

1. They lack flexibility in that they don't want to date downward

2. The men that are higher than them, don't desire them

3. They don't really know what men want because they chase success and once they get success, they think they have higher marketplace values.

4. And so they raise their standards, meanwhile men who meet such standards, don't want them back.

And so, they are at the top, with high standards and no one to chase after them instead of them doing the chasing.

When they are supposed to chase after Okada men, pick such Okada men and turn them to "house" husbands that they can provide for, just as Ronaldo picked a salesgirl and turn her into a wife.

These successful women are still looking to be chased by men who are richer. It's a joke.

Well said… In a nutshell, women are hypergamous in nature.

Host78:
A whole lot of rűbbïsh you wrote there.

First off, successful women are single because they are successful.

They are single because like every woman out there, they want to "date up".

Let's imagine this, when a man is successful, he doesn't look for a girl that is "on his level" or "higher" than him to start a relationship with her.

He can go to a filling station and see a girl there and start dating her.

Ronaldo was very successful and would have gotten to date any high value actress or model from anywhere in the world.

But he at the same time is flexible enough to go to a clothing store and pick one of the sales girl there and date her.

Women lack this flexibility. No matter how successful a woman is, she still wants to date a man who is "more successful" than her.

She'll never go to the gutter to pick any kind of man, even the one that will worship the ground she walks on.

Now this severely limits her options. For a woman who has N10million in her account, she's looking for a man with almost N50-100million in liquid cash.

She's looking up and there are only such a few of such men in the dating pool. It's like saying I as a guy will only date a girl who is earning N5m per month.

There are only such few girls in this country. If I put that as my mindset, anyone wise person will know that I'm ready to be single for a long time or for life.

Now, to the second part of this equation, and this is the usual problem with these women which they don't admit to themselves: the very "more successful" men that they want don't usually want them. .

There are many successful actresses in Nigeria, but do you think someone as successful as Davido wants to date them for their success?

If I'm a man and I'm earning N10m a month on this country, why should I care what my woman is earning when I want to pick a wife?

I can comfortably take care of any woman I want. Emphasise here is on "the woman I want".

No man in history has ever listed "success" or a specific naira figure when they are looking for a wife.

To most men, all you hear is "she must be beautiful, respectful, love me, submissive, does not cheat and speak softly"

And if any man ever mentions that his wife must be hardworking, it is usually in the area of keeping his house clean.

The reason why success is never a criteria for men looking for wives is very simple: a successful woman always wants a more successful man who will still pay for everything

Take for instance, regardless of how successful these actresses are, Davido understands that "spending" in the relationship will still fall on him because he's higher than them.

So, here's a dilemma, these women are hugely successful, they have bigger appetites, they want him to impress them. What exactly does he gain in return from dating such "successful" women?

Absolutely nothing.

The success of a woman does not benefit the more successful man she wants in any meaningful way.

So why should he date her when he could find someone prettier, someone who will be more grateful for his love?

The only way a successful woman can ascertain if men are intimidated by her is her going into the village and pickin a lowlife man or an Okada man or a cab man or a salesman and changing his life.

Let her pick such a man up, brush him up and give him the world and treat him like a king just as Ronaldo or Davido is treating their "poor" spouses like they are queens.

But then this almost will never happen.

Look at someone like DJ cuppy, everyday there are men in her comment section who will marry her and treat her like a queen.

Look at tiwa savage there are men who will willingly be her 'house' husband.

But regardless of success and the money these women have, they still want a bigger fish.

Cuppy always following Anthony Joshua up and down.

Now is Anthony Joshua intimidated by DJ cuppy? Of course not.

He's just not interested because she has nothing to offer him. Not virginity, not youth, nothing.

So, single successful women are not single because men are intimidated by them. They are single because of 4 simple things:

1. They lack flexibility in that they don't want to date downward

2. The men that are higher than them, don't desire them

3. They don't really know what men want because they chase success and once they get success, they think they have higher marketplace values.

4. And so they raise their standards, meanwhile men who meet such standards, don't want them back.

And so, they are at the top, with high standards and no one to chase after them instead of them doing the chasing.

When they are supposed to chase after Okada men, pick such Okada men and turn them to "house" husbands that they can provide for, just as Ronaldo picked a salesgirl and turn her into a wife.

These successful women are still looking to be chased by men who are richer. It's a joke.

How do I like this a million. You're such a nerd

Men find it difficult to control wealthly woman

Dpsychologist:
This argument keeps trending because people keep missing the point.

Some say men are afraid of successful women.
Others say that’s rubbish and an excuse.

The truth sits uncomfortably in the middle, and that’s why nobody wants to stay there.

Let’s clear one thing first and like the tweet in the image below says: Modern men are not strangers to capable women. We were raised by working mothers, taught by female teachers, managed by female bosses, and went to school with ambitious girls. Female success is not a shock. It is normal life.

So no, success alone is not what scares most men.

But let’s not lie to ourselves either. Some men are intimidated by successful women. Not all men and not most men. But enough to make the conversation valid. If men can feel threatened by another man’s success, why should a woman’s success be magically different? Ego has no gender.

Now here is the part both sides tend to avoid talking about much.

What many men react to is not success, but what sometimes follows it. A change in attitude. Respect quietly leaving the room. Confidence crossing the line into contempt. Independence being used as an excuse to avoid accountability.

At the same time, number of women are actually exhausted. Tired of shrinking themselves. Tired of being told to be less loud, less confident, less visible. Tired of their confidence being labelled arrogance simply because it comes from a woman.

Both experiences are real.

The problem starts when people turn personal experiences into universal laws.
“All men are intimidated” is false.
“No man is intimidated” is also false.

The real issue is insecurity, poor emotional maturity, and lack of balance.

A secure man is not threatened by a woman’s growth. He is inspired by it.
A grounded woman does not use success as a weapon. She carries it with grace.

Confidence is not arrogance.
Independence is not disrespect.
Success is not superiority.

Marriage is not boxing. It is not power play. It is not a battle for who earns more or talks louder. It is partnership.

Ideal 'Equality' is not about using history as leverage. It is about shared standards today. Empowerment is not exemption from accountability. It is responsibility with power.

If your success makes someone uncomfortable, it might be their insecurity.
If your success turns you into someone difficult to live with, it might be your character.

Both things can be true at the same time.

Until we learn to talk about this honestly, without shouting “men” or “women” like war slogans, this debate will keep recycling itself.

Now, who is ready for that uncomfortable honesty?

Dpsychologist:
This argument keeps trending because people keep missing the point.

Some say men are afraid of successful women.
Others say that’s rubbish and an excuse.

The truth sits uncomfortably in the middle, and that’s why nobody wants to stay there.

Let’s clear one thing first and like the tweet in the image below says: Modern men are not strangers to capable women. We were raised by working mothers, taught by female teachers, managed by female bosses, and went to school with ambitious girls. Female success is not a shock. It is normal life.

So no, success alone is not what scares most men.

But let’s not lie to ourselves either. Some men are intimidated by successful women. Not all men and not most men. But enough to make the conversation valid. If men can feel threatened by another man’s success, why should a woman’s success be magically different? Ego has no gender.

Now here is the part both sides tend to avoid talking about much.

What many men react to is not success, but what sometimes follows it. A change in attitude. Respect quietly leaving the room. Confidence crossing the line into contempt. Independence being used as an excuse to avoid accountability.

At the same time, number of women are actually exhausted. Tired of shrinking themselves. Tired of being told to be less loud, less confident, less visible. Tired of their confidence being labelled arrogance simply because it comes from a woman.

Both experiences are real.

The problem starts when people turn personal experiences into universal laws.
“All men are intimidated” is false.
“No man is intimidated” is also false.

The real issue is insecurity, poor emotional maturity, and lack of balance.

A secure man is not threatened by a woman’s growth. He is inspired by it.
A grounded woman does not use success as a weapon. She carries it with grace.

Confidence is not arrogance.
Independence is not disrespect.
Success is not superiority.

Marriage is not boxing. It is not power play. It is not a battle for who earns more or talks louder. It is partnership.

Ideal 'Equality' is not about using history as leverage. It is about shared standards today. Empowerment is not exemption from accountability. It is responsibility with power.

If your success makes someone uncomfortable, it might be their insecurity.
If your success turns you into someone difficult to live with, it might be your character.

Both things can be true at the same time.

Until we learn to talk about this honestly, without shouting “men” or “women” like war slogans, this debate will keep recycling itself.

Now, who is ready for that uncomfortable honesty?

They are avoiding them cos women easily puff up cos of knowledge

If your success makes someone uncomfortable, it might be their insecurity.
If your success turns you into someone difficult to live with, it might be your character.

Both things can be true at the same time.

Gbam.

Men are not scared of Successful women that are their wives . But they are scared of approaching successful women and pitching themselves for relationship due to perceived arrogance of such women.

Pride kill Nigerian woman, expectcailly does once way guide

TimiofAbuja:
The real problem is that the unsuccessful ones want to be setting standard like the successful ones

Another wahala

Dpsychologist:
First, the claim that “modern men on Nairaland are redpilled olosho customers trained byb Andrew Tate ” is very weak and pathetic.

Nairaland is not Nigeria. It is not a census. It is a loud, anonymous subset where extreme views rise because outrage gets attention.

If we judged women by the loudest voices on Twitter or TikTok, the conclusions would be just as absurd.

You started your reply that when i say "We" i am turning personal experiences into universal laws

Yet you quickly rushed to do thesame thing you accused me by generalizing on Nairaland men while building your entire argument on internet caricatures.


Yes, change is inevitable. But change does not mean moral confusion. Progress does not mean exemption from accountability. Every healthy social shift in history worked because responsibility was demanded from everyone, not because one side declared permanent innocence.


I am someone who deals with facts so i had to check the Nairaland thread about the vasectomy and “drugging” story you cited. That narrative was over exaggerated by you . You made it look like he was secretly drugging his wife when she was actually taking it with her consent. What he admitted was failure on his part for not getting a vasectomy. The real issue in that post is migration stress, job loss, financial pressure, and a serious reproductive disagreement. That is a struggling marriage, not proof of male oppression or insecurity.

This is different from case where a man secretly drugs his wife and that is criminal abuse, not masculinity. Using an extreme or criminal case to define a whole gender is intellectually lazy.

By that logic, men could define women by stories of baby trapping or paternity fraud. Reasonable adults know monsters exist in every group. Atrocities are not arguments. They are outliers.


The quote “tired of being oppressed by small minded men” is an emotional statement, not a logical one. Oppression is systemic. Disagreement, incompatibility, insecurity, or bad relationships are not oppression. Calling every negative male experience oppression drains the word of meaning and disrespects people who lived under real structural oppression.



Finally, your own statement that “some men are just Gods” quietly collapses your argument. The moment you say “some men,” you admit men are not a monolith. That is the entire point.

No one here is denying that insecure men exist. Or abusive men. Or men threatened by successful women. What is being rejected is the habit of turning personal pain into ideology and anecdotes into universal laws.

If we are serious about progress, we must stop replacing old stereotypes with new ones. Accountability, maturity, and character are individual traits, not gender traits. I refuse to demonize men the same way I refuse to pedestalize them. Adults deserve nuance, not narratives.

A sound mind

Hhh4444:
long time I heard from ubunja...hope he is still alive?

I'm fine man. I always log in to check mentions. Thanks

Blazebond:
The question should be " why are so-called successful women afraid of men?",men ain't afraid of una so-called successful women at all because those women will always be women and can never think of act like men,the two genders are very opposite in reasoning and behavior so don't think that some numbers in a bank account or achievements in whatever fields the women find themselves in will automatically make them think themselves superior to Men,naaaah,the real matter is that the women who call themselves successful women only want men who are docile and submissive as partner's,but the truth is that,such men hardly exist,a man might claim to be submissive and docile in the beginning,but soon his real colors will show and that's when the infighting in that relationship of theirs will begin.

Who told you that no man can be submissive to his wife? It's a lie because there are men like me who want dominant ladies to submit to.

Dpsychologist:
you are free to disagree but why the insult. You can't even counter any point, just shows how immature you are.

No vex is just dat u too dey talk nonsense nah why I react like dis

The short answer is no!
The main issue is in the evolutionary biological fact that women are not designed to provide and protect; they do not handle positions of power and wealth well. Because it is not natural to them, they become rude and most times, irrationally abusive.

Men, on the other hand, are built and equipped to protect and provide and therefore handle power a lot better and still keep their heads in the presence of wealth and power.

Men value respect and candour, which is something women with a semblance of power and wealth cannot provide them.

MEN PROTECT AND PROVIDE FOR THOSE WHO ARE STRONGER THAN AND VIOLENTLY RESIST THE ONES WHO STAND UP TO THEM!

Dpsychologist:
This argument keeps trending because people keep missing the point.

Some say men are afraid of successful women.
Others say that’s rubbish and an excuse.

The truth sits uncomfortably in the middle, and that’s why nobody wants to stay there.

Let’s clear one thing first and like the tweet in the image below says: Modern men are not strangers to capable women. We were raised by working mothers, taught by female teachers, managed by female bosses, and went to school with ambitious girls. Female success is not a shock. It is normal life.

So no, success alone is not what scares most men.

But let’s not lie to ourselves either. Some men are intimidated by successful women. Not all men and not most men. But enough to make the conversation valid. If men can feel threatened by another man’s success, why should a woman’s success be magically different? Ego has no gender.

Now here is the part both sides tend to avoid talking about much.

What many men react to is not success, but what sometimes follows it. A change in attitude. Respect quietly leaving the room. Confidence crossing the line into contempt. Independence being used as an excuse to avoid accountability.

At the same time, number of women are actually exhausted. Tired of shrinking themselves. Tired of being told to be less loud, less confident, less visible. Tired of their confidence being labelled arrogance simply because it comes from a woman.

Both experiences are real.

The problem starts when people turn personal experiences into universal laws.
“All men are intimidated” is false.
“No man is intimidated” is also false.

The real issue is insecurity, poor emotional maturity, and lack of balance.

A secure man is not threatened by a woman’s growth. He is inspired by it.
A grounded woman does not use success as a weapon. She carries it with grace.

Confidence is not arrogance.
Independence is not disrespect.
Success is not superiority.

Marriage is not boxing. It is not power play. It is not a battle for who earns more or talks louder. It is partnership.

Ideal 'Equality' is not about using history as leverage. It is about shared standards today. Empowerment is not exemption from accountability. It is responsibility with power.

If your success makes someone uncomfortable, it might be their insecurity.
If your success turns you into someone difficult to live with, it might be your character.

Both things can be true at the same time.

Until we learn to talk about this honestly, without shouting “men” or “women” like war slogans, this debate will keep recycling itself.

Now, who is ready for that uncomfortable honesty?

Marc3500:
No vex is just dat u too dey talk nonsense nah why I react like dis

Says someone that has never created a post with this account but busy criticizing others who take their time to compiled threads on Nairaland spanning hundreds.

Its very easy to criticize and insult. Write your own 'sensible' threads too if you can, so we can come and access yours too.

Dpsychologist:
Says someone that has never created a post with this account but busy criticizing others who take their time to compiled threads on Nairaland spanning hundreds.

Its very easy to criticize and insult. Write your own 'sensible' threads too if you can, so we can come and access yours too.

lol the truth is I don't know how to post on nairaland that's why I have never posted
I don't always criticize ppl all the time except if you post nonsense

Dpsychologist:
This argument keeps trending because people keep missing the point.

Some say men are afraid of successful women.
Others say that’s rubbish and an excuse.

The truth sits uncomfortably in the middle, and that’s why nobody wants to stay there.

Let’s clear one thing first and like the tweet in the image below says: Modern men are not strangers to capable women. We were raised by working mothers, taught by female teachers, managed by female bosses, and went to school with ambitious girls. Female success is not a shock. It is normal life.

So no, success alone is not what scares most men.

But let’s not lie to ourselves either. Some men are intimidated by successful women. Not all men and not most men. But enough to make the conversation valid. If men can feel threatened by another man’s success, why should a woman’s success be magically different? Ego has no gender.

Now here is the part both sides tend to avoid talking about much.

What many men react to is not success, but what sometimes follows it. A change in attitude. Respect quietly leaving the room. Confidence crossing the line into contempt. Independence being used as an excuse to avoid accountability.

At the same time, number of women are actually exhausted. Tired of shrinking themselves. Tired of being told to be less loud, less confident, less visible. Tired of their confidence being labelled arrogance simply because it comes from a woman.

Both experiences are real.

The problem starts when people turn personal experiences into universal laws.
“All men are intimidated” is false.
“No man is intimidated” is also false.

The real issue is insecurity, poor emotional maturity, and lack of balance.

A secure man is not threatened by a woman’s growth. He is inspired by it.
A grounded woman does not use success as a weapon. She carries it with grace.

Confidence is not arrogance.
Independence is not disrespect.
Success is not superiority.

Marriage is not boxing. It is not power play. It is not a battle for who earns more or talks louder. It is partnership.

Ideal 'Equality' is not about using history as leverage. It is about shared standards today. Empowerment is not exemption from accountability. It is responsibility with power.

If your success makes someone uncomfortable, it might be their insecurity.
If your success turns you into someone difficult to live with, it might be your character.

Both things can be true at the same time.

Until we learn to talk about this honestly, without shouting “men” or “women” like war slogans, this debate will keep recycling itself.

Now, who is ready for that uncomfortable honesty?

Question is are women scared of successful men? No they are not.
So why should men be if the table is turned?

ubunja:
I'm fine man. I always log in to check mentions. Thanks

Good to know you're okay man. I recently just started revisiting your posts.

Host78:
A whole lot of rűbbïsh you wrote there.

First off, successful women are single because they are successful.

They are single because like every woman out there, they want to "date up".

Let's imagine this, when a man is successful, he doesn't look for a girl that is "on his level" or "higher" than him to start a relationship with her.

He can go to a filling station and see a girl there and start dating her.

Ronaldo was very successful and would have gotten to date any high value actress or model from anywhere in the world.

But he at the same time is flexible enough to go to a clothing store and pick one of the sales girl there and date her.

Women lack this flexibility. No matter how successful a woman is, she still wants to date a man who is "more successful" than her.

She'll never go to the gutter to pick any kind of man, even the one that will worship the ground she walks on.

Now this severely limits her options. For a woman who has N10million in her account, she's looking for a man with almost N50-100million in liquid cash.

She's looking up and there are only such a few of such men in the dating pool. It's like saying I as a guy will only date a girl who is earning N5m per month.

There are only such few girls in this country. If I put that as my mindset, anyone wise person will know that I'm ready to be single for a long time or for life.

Now, to the second part of this equation, and this is the usual problem with these women which they don't admit to themselves: the very "more successful" men that they want don't usually want them. .

There are many successful actresses in Nigeria, but do you think someone as successful as Davido wants to date them for their success?

If I'm a man and I'm earning N10m a month on this country, why should I care what my woman is earning when I want to pick a wife?

I can comfortably take care of any woman I want. Emphasise here is on "the woman I want".

No man in history has ever listed "success" or a specific naira figure when they are looking for a wife.

To most men, all you hear is "she must be beautiful, respectful, love me, submissive, does not cheat and speak softly"

And if any man ever mentions that his wife must be hardworking, it is usually in the area of keeping his house clean.

The reason why success is never a criteria for men looking for wives is very simple: a successful woman always wants a more successful man who will still pay for everything

Take for instance, regardless of how successful these actresses are, Davido understands that "spending" in the relationship will still fall on him because he's higher than them.

So, here's a dilemma, these women are hugely successful, they have bigger appetites, they want him to impress them. What exactly does he gain in return from dating such "successful" women?

Absolutely nothing.

The success of a woman does not benefit the more successful man she wants in any meaningful way.

So why should he date her when he could find someone prettier, someone who will be more grateful for his love?

The only way a successful woman can ascertain if men are intimidated by her is her going into the village and pickin a lowlife man or an Okada man or a cab man or a salesman and changing his life.

Let her pick such a man up, brush him up and give him the world and treat him like a king just as Ronaldo or Davido is treating their "poor" spouses like they are queens.

But then this almost will never happen.

Look at someone like DJ cuppy, everyday there are men in her comment section who will marry her and treat her like a queen.

Look at tiwa savage there are men who will willingly be her 'house' husband.

But regardless of success and the money these women have, they still want a bigger fish.

Cuppy always following Anthony Joshua up and down.

Now is Anthony Joshua intimidated by DJ cuppy? Of course not.

He's just not interested because she has nothing to offer him. Not virginity, not youth, nothing.

So, single successful women are not single because men are intimidated by them. They are single because of 4 simple things:

1. They lack flexibility in that they don't want to date downward

2. The men that are higher than them, don't desire them

3. They don't really know what men want because they chase success and once they get success, they think they have higher marketplace values.

4. And so they raise their standards, meanwhile men who meet such standards, don't want them back.

And so, they are at the top, with high standards and no one to chase after them instead of them doing the chasing.

When they are supposed to chase after Okada men, pick such Okada men and turn them to "house" husbands that they can provide for, just as Ronaldo picked a salesgirl and turn her into a wife.

These successful women are still looking to be chased by men who are richer. It's a joke.

Words of Wisdom

It's just the way it it. How would you feel as a man to start doing the house chores, cook, sweep, care for the kids and your wife goes out to hustle and bring money. That's a role imbalance

pussyphilia:
Who told you that no man can be submissive to his wife? It's a lie because there are men like me who want dominant ladies to submit to.

You need deliverance