₦airaland Forum

Kalulu44:
Yeah guys, I know it's very wrong as a man to lay your hand on a woman and beat her. It doesn't makes sense and till this day I am still baffled at men who still do so.
We know women can sometimes push us to the extreme, but restraining yourself and just walk away makes you a real man.
But I too have twice lay my hands on women, once was when I think I was still a teenager and the second one, though matured but was push to the extreme end of the wall.
I want you guys to carefully read the two scenarios and tell me if I was right or wrong on both occasion.
.
1st Scenario:
Back in 1999, I was 19 and went to see Kanu and friends charity match in National stadium Surulere, Lagos.
The match ended by 6pm and as we were all going home, a heavy downpour started.
Coming from Okokomaiko area of Lagos, I can't afford to wait for the rain to subside.
So I entered the rain, there was no bus to convey one from Stadium to Orile due to the crowd and rain, so I started trekking towards Orile. At Adeniran Ogunsanya road the rain has gone down a little but was still dripping, the ground was flooded so I removed my leather sandals and hold it in my hands for easy walking and for the sandals not to get spoilt.
.
The pair of sandals was in my right hand and while I was walking fast, I was swinging my both hands. Unknowingly, while swinging my hands, the sandals touched a girl in front of me at her backside. Immediately she turned to face me, I quickly clasps my two hands together and told her sorry, that it was a mistake. She said it's a lie that I did it on purpose, I tried to explain to her and the next thing I heard was a huge slap on my face from her.
One woman who was hiding from the rain at a shop was looking at us but didn't say anything, even when the girl slapped me first.
I put a hand on the cheek she slap and told her, so you slap me bcus of this little thing.
She said ehen! What will I do? I was still contemplating the next line of action, this girl shifted back, removed her scarf and tied it on her waist, then came charging at me to slap me again, that was when I lost it. I held her raised hand, and landed up to 5 heavy slaps on her both cheeks, I was careful not to use blows. While shifting back from my slaps, she fell on the flooded ground.
I still wanted to rush her on the floor but that woman hiding shouted: you wan kill her ni?
I replied her back, but you were there when she slapped me and wanted to attack me but you didn't say anything.
While I was talking to that woman, she has stood up, came to where I was and held my shirt tight crying that I must kill her today.
No power again from her to slap or beat me again.
Passers by sha came and settled us and everybody went his or her way.
.
2nd Scenario:
Year 2012, me and my live in girlfriend went to the market on the Sunday Man United defeated Arsenal 8-2. We bought things to cook on that day. After preparing and eating the morning meal, we relaxed to watch some movies. By 12pm, I told her I will like her to go with me by 4pm to see the match.
She said no o, that she can't go where crowd is bla bla bla. I pleaded with her that I have seen guys bring their babes to viewing centres and it was cool, that she shouldn't worry she will enjoy the atmosphere.
She insisted she's not going but rather stay at home. I didn't force again. By 3:30pm I prepared and left for the viewing centre.
I told her to make dinner before I come back and she shook her head.
4pm, match starts and before you know it Man United has scored the first goal and then the second goal. Then my phone bleep, it was her. I picked and the first thing I heard was Up Man U from her, I am a Man United fan and she knows it so wasn't surprise with the hailing but was surprised how she knew Man United was scoring and leading. I replied her "For Life" and we hunged up.
.
Match continued, she called back after the 6th goal and hail Up Man U again and said una wan kill Arsenal. I then told her this wan you're giving me update about this match, how you take know say Man United dey score and win. She said, she dey watch am nah. I was shocked. Watch am for where I asked, she said I shouldn't worry and said another Up Man U before hunging up.
I focus on the match and after the match ended, she called once again and was singing Up Man U to my ears before hanging up.
I left the viewing centre, went outside to where football enthusiast were to discuss and analyse the match.
That one took another 1hr from me and finally left for home almost to 7pm.
By then I was dead hungry from shouting and jubilating, hoping once I get home food don ready for me.
.
To my greatest surprise, I got home and didn't see my babe neither did I see any prepared food. I called her, she picked but I couldn't hear her well bcus of the noise from the music where she was. I hunged up and went to prepare food by myself. After I finish cooking, I ate and went to lie down waiting for her.
I was boiling seriously inside of me, so this girl went out to watch the same match I begged her to go watch with me, and she didn't make the food she promised to.
I was on the bed pressing my phone when she came in by after 9pm.
She flunged herself to me inside the bed and was singing the Up Man U again. I gently pushed her aside.
Madam, where are you coming from and what's with the up man u you have been singing to me since I asked.
She said ah ah! She went to watch the match nah. With who I asked again, she said she received a call from her town brothers that they should hanged out at a bar, and that the house was boring that's why she went.
Which brothers? I thought you told me you have nobody in Lagos, that your parents and only brother stays in Onitsha.
And also you went and watch football match with them that I begged you to come watch with me.
Then she started shouting, henhen! Can't I go out again, or is she caged? I didn't say anything again and just kept my cool, she continue ranting and ranting. In her rant she made a statement that got me really annoyed.
That I am just feeling pain and jealous bcus she told me she went to see a match with guys, she didn't even moved back to say it.
She came to my face and was shouting while saying it, I didn't know when I slapped her and pushed her to the wall. She hit the wall and fell to the bed.
.
She yelled out a cry and scream so Uche you slapped me. Immediately I bent to where she was and started begging her. Omoh, I begged from that 9pm till midnight, she no gree o.
I told her how she was the one that forced me to it. Told her how angry I was she didn't go to see that match with me but with other guys and instead of her to be remorseful, she tried to play the victim. She didn't say anything to me, but was just sobbing and telling me not to touch her.
We slept off without settling the matter.
We kept malice for three days, but she finally forgave me on the fourth day, but drew her ear that she will never ever forget cus no man has ever raised hand on her.
So there's it guys, in the two scenarios was I at fault in hitting a woman or it was justified?
Mind you, I never used blows nor items in hitting them but just slaps.
Hit the comments box and let me know where I was wrong and right, thanks.
.
Wotowotoman, Sonofwar, brain54, Pootle, Aleem26, CodeTemplar, CJStarz, ruggedtimi, oz4real83

SpencerForbes:
You aren’t married, yet you’re living with a lady and expecting her to date only you? Una dey try o. She was 100% right, and you were pained—just admit it.

Nothing justifies that level of anger, especially toward a "live-in girlfriend." Why on earth are you giving husband privileges to a lady who clearly wants to explore? There were a hundred other ways to handle that, but you chose violence.

Take this as a warning: Change now or you will make Frontpage for the wrong reasons. If you don't control this temper, the next headline we see will be: "Man kills girlfriend by smashing her head against the wall." Don't let a woman—or anyone—have that much power over your emotions.

You need self-discipline. Real men learn to shape their emotions so they don't end up as "accidental" criminals. Na man you be. A man who can control his internal fire is more intimidating than one who throws punches. If you have true self-control, even a cold stare is enough to pass a message.

As for the other offender she’ll be fine. That was pure retaliation on your part, but one or two should have been enough. Never assume a lady you aren’t married to will be loyal. Even if she says she is, keep your guard up and your hands to yourself.

gunners160:
Una don start again oo. Una don start again oo, una don start again oo. Wat kind of rubbish talk is this? I should not expect a lady i am dating to be loyal to me. So, who then should i expect loyalty from? is it from a dog? Yes, the act was wrong but still this holy than though attitude needs to stop.. MR REAK MAN

intruder15:
In the first scenario, I enjoyed the write up. In the second scenario, you were wrong. It means that you can be triggered again to slap a lady. Though some ladies can be the weapon fashioned against you.

gunners160:
Una don start again oo. Una don start again oo, una don start again oo. Wat kind of rubbish talk is this? I should not expect a lady i am dating to be loyal to me. So, who then should i expect loyalty from? is it from a dog? Yes, the act was wrong but still this holy than though attitude needs to stop.. MR REAK MAN

Kalulu44:
Yeah guys, I know it's very wrong as a man to lay your hand on a woman and beat her. It doesn't makes sense and till this day I am still baffled at men who still do so.
We know women can sometimes push us to the extreme, but restraining yourself and just walk away makes you a real man.
But I too have twice lay my hands on women, once was when I think I was still a teenager and the second one, though matured but was push to the extreme end of the wall.
I want you guys to carefully read the two scenarios and tell me if I was right or wrong on both occasion.
.
1st Scenario:
Back in 1999, I was 19 and went to see Kanu and friends charity match in National stadium Surulere, Lagos.
The match ended by 6pm and as we were all going home, a heavy downpour started.
Coming from Okokomaiko area of Lagos, I can't afford to wait for the rain to subside.
So I entered the rain, there was no bus to convey one from Stadium to Orile due to the crowd and rain, so I started trekking towards Orile. At Adeniran Ogunsanya road the rain has gone down a little but was still dripping, the ground was flooded so I removed my leather sandals and hold it in my hands for easy walking and for the sandals not to get spoilt.
.
The pair of sandals was in my right hand and while I was walking fast, I was swinging my both hands. Unknowingly, while swinging my hands, the sandals touched a girl in front of me at her backside. Immediately she turned to face me, I quickly clasps my two hands together and told her sorry, that it was a mistake. She said it's a lie that I did it on purpose, I tried to explain to her and the next thing I heard was a huge slap on my face from her.
One woman who was hiding from the rain at a shop was looking at us but didn't say anything, even when the girl slapped me first.
I put a hand on the cheek she slap and told her, so you slap me bcus of this little thing.
She said ehen! What will I do? I was still contemplating the next line of action, this girl shifted back, removed her scarf and tied it on her waist, then came charging at me to slap me again, that was when I lost it. I held her raised hand, and landed up to 5 heavy slaps on her both cheeks, I was careful not to use blows. While shifting back from my slaps, she fell on the flooded ground.
I still wanted to rush her on the floor but that woman hiding shouted: you wan kill her ni?
I replied her back, but you were there when she slapped me and wanted to attack me but you didn't say anything.
While I was talking to that woman, she has stood up, came to where I was and held my shirt tight crying that I must kill her today.
No power again from her to slap or beat me again.
Passers by sha came and settled us and everybody went his or her way.
.
2nd Scenario:
Year 2012, me and my live in girlfriend went to the market on the Sunday Man United defeated Arsenal 8-2. We bought things to cook on that day. After preparing and eating the morning meal, we relaxed to watch some movies. By 12pm, I told her I will like her to go with me by 4pm to see the match.
She said no o, that she can't go where crowd is bla bla bla. I pleaded with her that I have seen guys bring their babes to viewing centres and it was cool, that she shouldn't worry she will enjoy the atmosphere.
She insisted she's not going but rather stay at home. I didn't force again. By 3:30pm I prepared and left for the viewing centre.
I told her to make dinner before I come back and she shook her head.
4pm, match starts and before you know it Man United has scored the first goal and then the second goal. Then my phone bleep, it was her. I picked and the first thing I heard was Up Man U from her, I am a Man United fan and she knows it so wasn't surprise with the hailing but was surprised how she knew Man United was scoring and leading. I replied her "For Life" and we hunged up.
.
Match continued, she called back after the 6th goal and hail Up Man U again and said una wan kill Arsenal. I then told her this wan you're giving me update about this match, how you take know say Man United dey score and win. She said, she dey watch am nah. I was shocked. Watch am for where I asked, she said I shouldn't worry and said another Up Man U before hunging up.
I focus on the match and after the match ended, she called once again and was singing Up Man U to my ears before hanging up.
I left the viewing centre, went outside to where football enthusiast were to discuss and analyse the match.
That one took another 1hr from me and finally left for home almost to 7pm.
By then I was dead hungry from shouting and jubilating, hoping once I get home food don ready for me.
.
To my greatest surprise, I got home and didn't see my babe neither did I see any prepared food. I called her, she picked but I couldn't hear her well bcus of the noise from the music where she was. I hunged up and went to prepare food by myself. After I finish cooking, I ate and went to lie down waiting for her.
I was boiling seriously inside of me, so this girl went out to watch the same match I begged her to go watch with me, and she didn't make the food she promised to.
I was on the bed pressing my phone when she came in by after 9pm.
She flunged herself to me inside the bed and was singing the Up Man U again. I gently pushed her aside.
Madam, where are you coming from and what's with the up man u you have been singing to me since I asked.
She said ah ah! She went to watch the match nah. With who I asked again, she said she received a call from her town brothers that they should hanged out at a bar, and that the house was boring that's why she went.
Which brothers? I thought you told me you have nobody in Lagos, that your parents and only brother stays in Onitsha.
And also you went and watch football match with them that I begged you to come watch with me.
Then she started shouting, henhen! Can't I go out again, or is she caged? I didn't say anything again and just kept my cool, she continue ranting and ranting. In her rant she made a statement that got me really annoyed.
That I am just feeling pain and jealous bcus she told me she went to see a match with guys, she didn't even moved back to say it.
She came to my face and was shouting while saying it, I didn't know when I slapped her and pushed her to the wall. She hit the wall and fell to the bed.
.
She yelled out a cry and scream so Uche you slapped me. Immediately I bent to where she was and started begging her. Omoh, I begged from that 9pm till midnight, she no gree o.
I told her how she was the one that forced me to it. Told her how angry I was she didn't go to see that match with me but with other guys and instead of her to be remorseful, she tried to play the victim. She didn't say anything to me, but was just sobbing and telling me not to touch her.
We slept off without settling the matter.
We kept malice for three days, but she finally forgave me on the fourth day, but drew her ear that she will never ever forget cus no man has ever raised hand on her.
So there's it guys, in the two scenarios was I at fault in hitting a woman or it was justified?
Mind you, I never used blows nor items in hitting them but just slaps.
Hit the comments box and let me know where I was wrong and right, thanks.
.
Wotowotoman, Sonofwar, brain54, Pootle, Aleem26, CodeTemplar, CJStarz, ruggedtimi, oz4real83

Kalulu44:
Yeah guys, I know it's very wrong as a man to lay your hand on a woman and beat her. It doesn't makes sense and till this day I am still baffled at men who still do so.
We know women can sometimes push us to the extreme, but restraining yourself and just walk away makes you a real man.
But I too have twice lay my hands on women, once was when I think I was still a teenager and the second one, though matured but was push to the extreme end of the wall.
I want you guys to carefully read the two scenarios and tell me if I was right or wrong on both occasion.
.
1st Scenario:
Back in 1999, I was 19 and went to see Kanu and friends charity match in National stadium Surulere, Lagos.
The match ended by 6pm and as we were all going home, a heavy downpour started.
Coming from Okokomaiko area of Lagos, I can't afford to wait for the rain to subside.
So I entered the rain, there was no bus to convey one from Stadium to Orile due to the crowd and rain, so I started trekking towards Orile. At Adeniran Ogunsanya road the rain has gone down a little but was still dripping, the ground was flooded so I removed my leather sandals and hold it in my hands for easy walking and for the sandals not to get spoilt.
.
The pair of sandals was in my right hand and while I was walking fast, I was swinging my both hands. Unknowingly, while swinging my hands, the sandals touched a girl in front of me at her backside. Immediately she turned to face me, I quickly clasps my two hands together and told her sorry, that it was a mistake. She said it's a lie that I did it on purpose, I tried to explain to her and the next thing I heard was a huge slap on my face from her.
One woman who was hiding from the rain at a shop was looking at us but didn't say anything, even when the girl slapped me first.
I put a hand on the cheek she slap and told her, so you slap me bcus of this little thing.
She said ehen! What will I do? I was still contemplating the next line of action, this girl shifted back, removed her scarf and tied it on her waist, then came charging at me to slap me again, that was when I lost it. I held her raised hand, and landed up to 5 heavy slaps on her both cheeks, I was careful not to use blows. While shifting back from my slaps, she fell on the flooded ground.
I still wanted to rush her on the floor but that woman hiding shouted: you wan kill her ni?
I replied her back, but you were there when she slapped me and wanted to attack me but you didn't say anything.
While I was talking to that woman, she has stood up, came to where I was and held my shirt tight crying that I must kill her today.
No power again from her to slap or beat me again.
Passers by sha came and settled us and everybody went his or her way.
.
2nd Scenario:
Year 2012, me and my live in girlfriend went to the market on the Sunday Man United defeated Arsenal 8-2. We bought things to cook on that day. After preparing and eating the morning meal, we relaxed to watch some movies. By 12pm, I told her I will like her to go with me by 4pm to see the match.
She said no o, that she can't go where crowd is bla bla bla. I pleaded with her that I have seen guys bring their babes to viewing centres and it was cool, that she shouldn't worry she will enjoy the atmosphere.
She insisted she's not going but rather stay at home. I didn't force again. By 3:30pm I prepared and left for the viewing centre.
I told her to make dinner before I come back and she shook her head.
4pm, match starts and before you know it Man United has scored the first goal and then the second goal. Then my phone bleep, it was her. I picked and the first thing I heard was Up Man U from her, I am a Man United fan and she knows it so wasn't surprise with the hailing but was surprised how she knew Man United was scoring and leading. I replied her "For Life" and we hunged up.
.
Match continued, she called back after the 6th goal and hail Up Man U again and said una wan kill Arsenal. I then told her this wan you're giving me update about this match, how you take know say Man United dey score and win. She said, she dey watch am nah. I was shocked. Watch am for where I asked, she said I shouldn't worry and said another Up Man U before hunging up.
I focus on the match and after the match ended, she called once again and was singing Up Man U to my ears before hanging up.
I left the viewing centre, went outside to where football enthusiast were to discuss and analyse the match.
That one took another 1hr from me and finally left for home almost to 7pm.
By then I was dead hungry from shouting and jubilating, hoping once I get home food don ready for me.
.
To my greatest surprise, I got home and didn't see my babe neither did I see any prepared food. I called her, she picked but I couldn't hear her well bcus of the noise from the music where she was. I hunged up and went to prepare food by myself. After I finish cooking, I ate and went to lie down waiting for her.
I was boiling seriously inside of me, so this girl went out to watch the same match I begged her to go watch with me, and she didn't make the food she promised to.
I was on the bed pressing my phone when she came in by after 9pm.
She flunged herself to me inside the bed and was singing the Up Man U again. I gently pushed her aside.
Madam, where are you coming from and what's with the up man u you have been singing to me since I asked.
She said ah ah! She went to watch the match nah. With who I asked again, she said she received a call from her town brothers that they should hanged out at a bar, and that the house was boring that's why she went.
Which brothers? I thought you told me you have nobody in Lagos, that your parents and only brother stays in Onitsha.
And also you went and watch football match with them that I begged you to come watch with me.
Then she started shouting, henhen! Can't I go out again, or is she caged? I didn't say anything again and just kept my cool, she continue ranting and ranting. In her rant she made a statement that got me really annoyed.
That I am just feeling pain and jealous bcus she told me she went to see a match with guys, she didn't even moved back to say it.
She came to my face and was shouting while saying it, I didn't know when I slapped her and pushed her to the wall. She hit the wall and fell to the bed.
.
She yelled out a cry and scream so Uche you slapped me. Immediately I bent to where she was and started begging her. Omoh, I begged from that 9pm till midnight, she no gree o.
I told her how she was the one that forced me to it. Told her how angry I was she didn't go to see that match with me but with other guys and instead of her to be remorseful, she tried to play the victim. She didn't say anything to me, but was just sobbing and telling me not to touch her.
We slept off without settling the matter.
We kept malice for three days, but she finally forgave me on the fourth day, but drew her ear that she will never ever forget cus no man has ever raised hand on her.
So there's it guys, in the two scenarios was I at fault in hitting a woman or it was justified?
Mind you, I never used blows nor items in hitting them but just slaps.
Hit the comments box and let me know where I was wrong and right, thanks.
.
Wotowotoman, Sonofwar, brain54, Pootle, Aleem26, CodeTemplar, CJStarz, ruggedtimi, oz4real83

Kalulu44:
Hmm.... Alright thanks. Though I have never ever again tried doing such even though worse encounter more than that have occurred countless times

Lifestone:
Did you eventually marry the second girl?

CJStarz:
My brother,I no wan sound judgemental but it seems you're d hot tempered guy.
Dat your girlfriend na one u for no suppose miss because she was an honest, lively and humourous person. U just felt insecure and jealous shaa.
D first one, U for just waka jejely.
Our people talk say when a fowl come pursue you for afternoon,make you run as your leg reach.
I want to believe you've worked on your 'reaction time '.

ChristCee:
If you are suffering from PTSD try see a therapist, you don't have to use us to justify or make you feel good about what you have done.

SpencerForbes:
You aren’t married, yet you’re living with a lady and expecting her to date only you? Una dey try o. She was 100% right, and you were pained—just admit it.

Nothing justifies that level of anger, especially toward a "live-in girlfriend." Why on earth are you giving husband privileges to a lady who clearly wants to explore? There were a hundred other ways to handle that, but you chose violence.

Take this as a warning: Change now or you will make Frontpage for the wrong reasons. If you don't control this temper, the next headline we see will be: "Man kills girlfriend by smashing her head against the wall." Don't let a woman—or anyone—have that much power over your emotions.

You need self-discipline. Real men learn to shape their emotions so they don't end up as "accidental" criminals. Na man you be. A man who can control his internal fire is more intimidating than one who throws punches. If you have true self-control, even a cold stare is enough to pass a message.

As for the other offender she’ll be fine. That was pure retaliation on your part, but one or two should have been enough. Never assume a lady you aren’t married to will be loyal. Even if she says she is, keep your guard up and your hands to yourself.

Kalulu44:
Hmmmm..... Your submissions are valid but I want to make one thing clear. I'm 100% opposite of what you think I am.
I'm not hot tempered, I am not and never insecure when it comes to women, I wasn't pained bcus she went to explore outside which I already know before hand. I was pained then bcus the same match I begged and pleaded for her to go see with me and refused is what she later went outside to go see. Noticed I said I was calm when she came back, but she really wanted me to react by not staying far away from me but coming to my face to tell me nonsense.
And if you noticed, after the hit I quickly bent down and start begging her, forgetting what she did.
After that incident I have never ever lay my hands on anybody again let alone a woman.
.
But I have suffered for it too, since then I have been taking advantage of by women for going soft and emotionally attached. But all in all, we continue to learn. Thanks once again for your beautiful submission

gunners160:
Una don start again oo. Una don start again oo, una don start again oo. Wat kind of rubbish talk is this? I should not expect a lady i am dating to be loyal to me. So, who then should i expect loyalty from? is it from a dog? Yes, the act was wrong but still this holy than though attitude needs to stop.. MR REAK MAN

MarkNsukkaBread:
You never chop belleful you come get live-in lover, una dey try o!

Meanwhile you no get any right to beat the girl

MarkNsukkaBread:
You can't demand exclusivity from a girl you have not made any serious commitment to.

If you want her to be only yours then marry her!

SpencerForbes:
Oga, calm down 😂. Your emotions have overridden your logic again. You are dating, not married. Get that into your head because there’s a wide gulf between the two.

The girl is on a clock, but you can decide to marry at 50 and nobody will blink. She doesn't have that luxury, and frankly, she’s not obligated to wait for you. The only people who owe you 100% loyalty are your mother, your wife, and your daughter. 'Babe' is a general title for this side; she’s likely just using you to pass time while waiting for her main man.

So because she’s cohabiting with you, you think you’ve performed traditional rites? 😂😂😂 My friend, calm down. Living together is not marriage.

We learn every day, but the goal is to actually keep the lessons. We all get angry, but you need to retrospect and find the root of the problem so you don't repeat the same mistake. Instead of seeking validation for your 'beast mode' on the forum, tell yourself the truth. Beating a woman because she was shouting? That’s a clear sign you’re not emotionally mature yet. Lobatan!!!

We all make mistakes, but trying to justify domestic violence is a low move. Admit you messed up and move on. If you keep ‘resetting her brain’ with blows, you’ll just find yourself in Kiri Kiri.

The last time I laid my hands on anyone was in secondary school. I don’t even beat my nephew, yet he knows when he’s wrong. Be a man and control your temper. Real men control their emotions, they don't let their emotions control their fists.

Pootle:
you should not have begged her she messed up real bad, you should have send her packing same night to go sleep in those brothers house

SpencerForbes:
Very valid 💯. I’ve also learned one or two from your experience.

ruggedtimi:
The term " Caged" na only women with potential of cheating they use that term. But learn not to slap a woman, best treatment for woman is silence treatment.

9jaBloke:
You were wrong. First scenario is justifiable, second is not.

You are not a monster but you may get there someday.

MarkNsukkaBread:
You can't demand exclusivity from a girl you have not made any serious commitment to.

If you want her to be only yours then marry her!

Wealthyonos:
I haven't slapped a woman in my life sha. But that your girlfriend sha, if na me I will tell her she went to sleep with someone outside. Relationship go just pass there end