₦airaland Forum

Yorubastardz:
My aunt who was barren adopted a boy in 2002

Fast forward to 2025 last June.
This boy turned my aunt life upside down

He Insults her like mad. Disrespect her in front of visitors. Scold at her

This got me thinking if Adoption is worth it
Because the boy clearly don't feel connection

And during some of their outburst
He will curse her and her family.. Omo

After seeing this same pattern in 3 families
I have concluded ADOPTION IS A NO NO!!!!

Chai. What an embarrassment. The woman will feel so ashamed of her decision for the rest of her life. She will be so worried and overthinking of how unfair life has been to her to be barren.
My prayer is that every barren woman will no longer be barren and will have their own children this year.

An aunty I know adopted a girl as she had only male children. When the girl grew to a teenager, people told her my aunt is not her mother especially with the fact that the aunt was already in her 50s when the adoption began. Then she began being troublesome and tormented her adopted parents. Was being entitled and difficult. Sharp sharp, one of her sons took charge of the matter, he damned the sentimentality got her things packed out and took her to a Christian boarding school and forgot her there. No one called her, no one even cared about her while she was there. The school threatened to send the girl away, the guy insisted that his family doesn't care.
After a year of abandonment, the 14 year old girl came back begging and apologizing for the damage she caused before they accepted her back. Now she understands family is a privilege.

Treat your adopted kid like your own child from the beginning and they would never feel alienated.Children don't generally insult their parents except on rare occasion like mental illness, drug abuse or different health or environmental challenges.

There are biological children who insult their parents, disrespect them publicly, and abandon them later in life.

There are adopted children who love their parents deeply, care for them in old age, and feel genuine gratitude and attachment.

The behavior you’re describing isn’t automatically because he was adopted. Perharps, you’re reacting from pain and frustration — which is understandable.

But I wouldn’t condemn adoption based on three cases. Human behaviour is far more complex than bloodline.

Thank you!

Hmn! It is entirely complicated.

Yorubastardz:
My aunt who was barren adopted a boy in 2002

Fast forward to 2025 last June.
This boy turned my aunt life upside down

He Insults her like mad. Disrespect her in front of visitors. Scold at her

This got me thinking if Adoption is worth it
Because the boy clearly don't feel connection

And during some of their outburst
He will curse her and her family.. Omo

After seeing this same pattern in 3 families
I have concluded ADOPTION IS A NO NO!!!!

you're a liar

We are here to serve. Your aunt should ignore him and move on with her life. The Lord is able to reward her in due time.

Yorubastardz:
She should have left the baby to be eating beans in orphanage.

That is why I don't like helping people

Now she don go buy market.

I heard the boy hits her sometimes

Her crime was to raise and take care of the boy.
The boy know that he is adopted

All I see is there is no motherly connection
Because she didn't give birth to him. Simple

What is stopping your aunt from disowning him?
Legitimate children get disowned when they cross boundaries, ma ya fokwa...

Yorubastardz:
My aunt who was barren adopted a boy in 2002

Fast forward to 2025 last June.
This boy turned my aunt life upside down

He Insults her like mad. Disrespect her in front of visitors. Scold at her

This got me thinking if Adoption is worth it
Because the boy clearly don't feel connection

And during some of their outburst
He will curse her and her family.. Omo

After seeing this same pattern in 3 families
I have concluded ADOPTION IS A NO NO!!!!

So, sorry please.

The boy may have a mental problem inherited from the biological parent.
Sometimes , the problem is a spiritual inheritance that is following the boy.

Some people are lucky with adoption especially if the background of the baby is sound.

Not withstanding , the first point of call is to rule out Schizophrenia at the hospital. The situation may still be salvageable

I won't advise anyone to adopt. There's no connection between mother and children, so forget, no love exist and they can harm you anytime if you try to block their way or caution them in a way they don't like

Them no dey return curse?

MarkNsukkaBread:
Your aunt probably over-pampered the boy and spoilt him

Hmm... True talk somehow dey here

Ultimately adopted kids when turn to adult will leave claiming you are not their biological parent. It happens all the times.

Your aunt over pampered him.

No way you will adopt a kid who barely knows life and blame adoption for him/her turning out bad. She didn’t adopt an adult.

How about kids who lived with their parents and became worst, do we blame reproduction or society for that?

She wanted a kid so bad and getting one, she over pampered the kid.

Yorubastardz:
Even if he was pampered.
Isn't that more reason why he should thank her everyday for adopting and changing his life.

That is why each day I see more reason not to help people.

Remember when zlatan help one family and the same family almost lynch him in the streets.

It's better to mind your business.

You fit help accident victim go hospital
Na police go come arrest you and hold u responsible for the victim.

Like I said
I will never adopt another man child that has a totally different DNA behaviour and character from me

If my child wan misbehave
Atleast I know he got his behaviour and character from me or my wife DNA

That boy that was adopted
Do you know if his real mother is a mad woman.
When the boy grow up he will definitely show sign of madness from his mother. Blood is thicker than water

Your last assumption is a total false assumption. Bcus ones mother or father is mad can't automatically make you their child mad or behave so

Your username shows no difference between you and the boy. The boy learnt it from your family.

Racheal45:
Nairaland people are funny but real
I was having a plan to adopt a child with what you said I don change plans
Do they actually know if the mother is mad
That is very correct
Mad people children na orphanage dem mostly Dey end up waiting for adoption

So which statistics showed you that once ones parents is mad then the child will automatically become mad or have the attribute

When adopting;
**Move to a new location
hence, neighborhood should not know about the adoption.
***Adopted child should not be more than 2 years.
***Never let the child know he or she was adopted even up to adulthood except inevitable.
***Treat as yours and never over pamper the child.

Racheal45:
Nairaland people are funny but real
I was having a plan to adopt a child with what you said I don change plans
Do they actually know if the mother is mad
That is very correct
Mad people children na orphanage dem mostly Dey end up waiting for adoption

Can’t you just find a man to impregnate you rather than adopting another man’s kid?

Getting a man especially with no emotional attachment should not be that hard, I guess.

You are so wrong as there are millions of horrible children insulting their natural mothers and fathers. It is how you raise the child whether adopted or natural that will mainly determine their character.

Yorubastardz:
My aunt who was barren adopted a boy in 2002

Fast forward to 2025 last June.
This boy turned my aunt life upside down

He Insults her like mad. Disrespect her in front of visitors. Scold at her

This got me thinking if Adoption is worth it
Because the boy clearly don't feel connection

And during some of their outburst
He will curse her and her family.. Omo

After seeing this same pattern in 3 families
I have concluded ADOPTION IS A NO NO!!!!

This story comes into mind. Please women, if you cannot really love an adopted child like your own, it could turn crazy for you.
Some adopted children have become a blessing. Some have become devil incarnate.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZiCtQ72KQNQ

Is better to have someone else father the kid for you through cheating ?

JackDaAlienz:
There was one rich man in my church
He was head of Rotary club and I remember vividly that he started a programme that encourage parents to adopt kids.

This was Obasanjo era. Economy was good

My neighbor a nurse adopted 2 kids boys
One popular woman in church adopt 1 boy
Madam Rosita adopted a boy and girl

Now I have been going to that church since I was a kid so I remember when they adopted those kids and did baptism for them.

Now fast forward 2025
My neighbor 2 boys turn out to be cultist
They smoke ibo like nothing
Tattoo everywhere. A huge contrast to her 3 real children she had before adopting 2 boys

The popular woman the boy she adopted dey insult and disgrace am like mad
Dem go dey quarrel like women for public
Only God knows wetin dey happen for private

Madam Rosita the girl she adopted showed her shege pro max at her teenage years
Carry belle very early. The boy run go Libya haven't heard from him since 2021.

So this are the 3 people that lived around my area and same church for 20 years
I remember vididly how they adopted those kids in church and how they all turned out now today. .
I think the problem is that these kids soon realize that they are biological kids.
And I think that realization alone at an early stage in life can throw them off.

Somebody said something about the child having hereditary madness

But I disagree because even the woman you marry that will bear your child.
Do you know if her family has genetic madness??

So in general adoption can be risky and also rewarding. Just like marriage.
It can end up uplifting you or destroying you

Adoption is a very risky something
You don't know the history or potential of that child. Family hismm

Make we no go adopt future Gentle yahoo

Just as you have listed the ones that went South so are the ones that went well are out there. The two I have experienced later became successful than their parents original kids and was the ones who uplifted the family

loffyloffy:
Your President was practically adopted, he's the president today.

What you guys are describing is a situation where Nature (assuming there's something wrong with the kids) trumps Nurture (all the effort put into raising them).

If you show a child the right path, they won't stray from it, whether they're biological or adopted.

This is a big lie. Please go and adopt the child of an armed robber or an ashawo dumped a child in the refuse dump. Some people are carrying hereditary curse. It's in the bloodline

loffyloffy:
Your President was practically adopted, he's the president today.

What you guys are describing is a situation where Nature (assuming there's something wrong with the kids) trumps Nurture (all the effort put into raising them).

If you show a child the right path, they won't stray from it, whether they're biological or adopted.

Gbam! Well said

HacheNoire:
Your aunt over pampered him.

No way you will adopt a kid who barely knows life and blame adoption for him/her turning out bad. She didn’t adopt an adult.

How about kids who lived with their parents and became worst, do we blame reproduction or society for that?

She wanted a kid so bad and getting one, she over pampered the kid.

Not necessarily. I have watched a case of a boy who was adopted and became a serial criminal. His adopted family were good people. He eventually found his father who was locked up for life. They compared their crimes and it was exactly the same. Genetics plays a very big role in who we are and what we do. Nurture can try to change it but genetics is stronger than nurture.

loffyloffy:
Your President was practically adopted, he's the president today.

What you guys are describing is a situation where Nature (assuming there's something wrong with the kids) trumps Nurture (all the effort put into raising them).

If you show a child the right path, they won't stray from it, whether they're biological or adopted.

words with sense. Kudos 👍

osuofia2:
So many bad stories about adoption, it's a good to adopt but many never ended well,

You most likely wouldn't hear of the one that ended well because they won't tell you they were adopted

Merry100:
Sorry about your aunt's experience, but adoption is a positive way to build a family. A few negative experiences don't mean it is 'bad.'

Forget biology for a moment; imagine it is her own flesh and blood misbehaving. What would she do? Children, whether adopted or biological, can act out.

It is a common misconception that adopted children behave differently or lack attachment. Biological children misbehave too; it is just that misbehaviour in adopted children is often more noticeable because there is no biological connection.

Many adopted children grow up deeply loving and loyal to their families. Blaming adoption for misbehaviour overlooks the real factors that shape character, such as environment, parental guidance, and lessons taught from an early age.

A child's behaviour is shaped far more by upbringing, environment, and the values instilled than by where they came from.

Some parents also fail to nurture their children properly: whether adopted or biological; and do not offer the care and support necessary for a child to develop properly.

Respect isn't guaranteed by genetics; it is cultivated through consistent teaching, modelling, and reinforcement of values.

You just summed it up man, nothing to add nor subtract

Yorubastardz:
My aunt who was barren adopted a boy in 2002

Fast forward to 2025 last June.
This boy turned my aunt life upside down

He Insults her like mad. Disrespect her in front of visitors. Scold at her

This got me thinking if Adoption is worth it
Because the boy clearly don't feel connection

And during some of their outburst
He will curse her and her family.. Omo

After seeing this same pattern in 3 families
I have concluded ADOPTION IS A NO NO!!!!

Children raised by their own biological parents do same thing and sometimes even worse because they know that are permanently biologically linked to their parents.

It is not a status or racial thing as it happens all over. Isreali PM, Benjamin Netanyahu's first son beat his father mercilessly and his father collected the beating.
Should we then not have our biological children for same reason 🤔