Why You Should NEVER Adopt Kids - Family (3)

Why You Should NEVER Adopt Kids - Family (3) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum › Nairaland General › Family › Why You Should NEVER Adopt Kids (24533 Views)

Re: Why You Should NEVER Adopt Kids by narite: 2:05pm On Feb 12

AndroBlaze:
Make una continue dey blame adopted children for bad parentage, while those who do it and take it seriously like the families of Tinubu and Steve Jobs continue to benefit from God.

If Steve job was a Nigerian and took the path he followed in life, he would have caused his Un biological parents grave pain. In fact, they would have disowned him before he became what we know him as today.

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Re: Why You Should NEVER Adopt Kids by delpee(f): 2:05pm On Feb 12

Well, Joke Silva said she's an adopted child. She turned out well and has always appreciated the family that gave her a name and the opportunity to be who she is today.

I know people who have adopted kids who are truly grateful and successful. Just as not every biological child will turn out well, so it is with adopted children.

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Re: Why You Should NEVER Adopt Kids by palsenator(m): 2:06pm On Feb 12

Yorubastardz:
My aunt who was barren adopted a boy in 2002

Fast forward to 2025 last June.
This boy turned my aunt life upside down

He Insults her like mad. Disrespect her in front of visitors. Scold at her

This got me thinking if Adoption is worth it
Because the boy clearly don't feel connection

And during some of their outburst
He will curse her and her family.. Omo

After seeing this same pattern in 3 families
I have concluded ADOPTION IS A NO NO!!!!

Your sister's experience is not enough as a yardstick. There are other positive stories regarding legal adoption of kids.

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Re: Why You Should NEVER Adopt Kids by Ingriid(f): 2:06pm On Feb 12

loffyloffy:
Your President was practically adopted, he's the president today.

What you guys are describing is a situation where Nature (assuming there's something wrong with the kids) trumps Nurture (all the effort put into raising them).

If you show a child the right path, they won't stray from it, whether they're biological or adopted.

Well said.

Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old , won’t depart from it.

Re: Why You Should NEVER Adopt Kids by Kalulu44: 2:06pm On Feb 12

nairalanda1:
Adrenaline is a hell of a drug. It can do wonders..re granny

Hahahaha, Adrenaline rush no be anybody mate

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Re: Why You Should NEVER Adopt Kids by Kalulu44: 2:09pm On Feb 12

Op I no get anything to say again, many people don give you better answer wey sweet me

Re: Why You Should NEVER Adopt Kids by HacheNoire: 2:09pm On Feb 12

2mch:
Not necessarily. I have watched a case of a boy who was adopted and became a serial criminal. His adopted family were good people. He eventually found his father who was locked up for life. They compared their crimes and it was exactly the same. Genetics plays a very big role in who we are and what we do. Nurture can try to change it but genetics is stronger than nurture.

Oh! Genetics plays a good role you said?

Majority of those blood thirsty cultist you find were raised by their parents. Most of those hook up girls were raised by their parents, and those fraudsters and drug abusers were raised by their parents.

From your statement, can we now conclude that the genetics of their parents included prostitution, cultism, drug use, fraud.

A kid will become what you want him to become if you invest the time.

Are you saying you have never seen biological children rude to their parents, cos you make it sound like it’s only adopted kids.

How about adopted kids that turned out well. Do we also praise the biological parents genetics or those who raised him?

Who do we attribute Steve Jobs successes to? His biological parents or the couples who nurtured him supported his dreams.

Please! That genetics excuse won’t fly!

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Re: Why You Should NEVER Adopt Kids by Temptation147: 2:10pm On Feb 12

Samantha125:
Biological children also do the same thing to their parents, are you now going to tell people altogether to stop conceiving children?

I remember when I was still young, one of our neighbours fired gun shots at his father and grandmother... That night the old lady even developed strength to jump their family boundary wall...🤣🤣🤣... Fortunately for them, they managed to escape unharmed.

Even though the boundary wall wasn't too high, till this day, we still wonder how the grandmother was able to jump it at her age... That family always had drama, my mother once received a punch to the face which was aimed at someone else and land on the floor while trying to separate a fight, a fight she shouldn't have involved herself in in the first place because there were people in the house... The guy is now married and took the drama to his matrimonial house.

Last time I heard, the community men gave him a good panel beating before calling the police on him after he assaulted his wife... And his parents warned the wife about him and his temperamental tendencies when they were still dating, but she still wouldn't listen.

Hayibo, I wonder how Gogo will jump that boundary 😃

Re: Why You Should NEVER Adopt Kids by 2mch(m): 2:11pm On Feb 12

Do very good research before adopting. It’s better in my opinion to adopt a family member. So the child can form relationship with the biological family. Those adoptions seem to work out better, like the Presidents case. There is something about humans and their biological family, it is their whole identity and once disrupted can cause the adoptee parents big issues.

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Re: Why You Should NEVER Adopt Kids by Karleb(m): 2:12pm On Feb 12

Yorubastardz:
My aunt who was barren adopted a boy in 2002

Fast forward to 2025 last June.
This boy turned my aunt life upside down

He Insults her like mad. Disrespect her in front of visitors. Scold at her

This got me thinking if Adoption is worth it
Because the boy clearly don't feel connection

And during some of their outburst
He will curse her and her family.. Omo

After seeing this same pattern in 3 families
I have concluded ADOPTION IS A NO NO!!!!

As if we don't have kids that have killed their bilogical parents.

Your aunt did not raise the biy right.

2 Likes

Re: Why You Should NEVER Adopt Kids by PeterObash(m): 2:12pm On Feb 12

Your aunty may not have gotten it right from the onset . Do this step and you will get it right.
Show more to the following
1. More love
2. More care
3. Less discipline ( don't spanking often but more of restrictions)
4. Be more of a listener
Watch how things turns around for good " As a little child ".

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Re: Why You Should NEVER Adopt Kids by AndroBlaze: 2:12pm On Feb 12

narite:
If Steve job was a Nigerian and took the path he followed in life, he would have caused his Un biological parents grave pain. In fact, they would have disowned him before he became what we know him as today.

Which is why parentage matters.

Even if your child strays in his youth, he will still get back to the right path if you trained him well when he was young.

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Re: Why You Should NEVER Adopt Kids by Gajagojo: 2:13pm On Feb 12

Yorubastardz:
My aunt who was barren adopted a boy in 2002

Fast forward to 2025 last June.
This boy turned my aunt life upside down

He Insults her like mad. Disrespect her in front of visitors. Scold at her

This got me thinking if Adoption is worth it
Because the boy clearly don't feel connection

And during some of their outburst
He will curse her and her family.. Omo

After seeing this same pattern in 3 families
I have concluded ADOPTION IS A NO NO!!!!

People who are blood children don't do this?

Steve Jobs was adopted
Babangida was adopted
Nelson Mandela was Adopted

Some things are so stupid to say that you wonder about the brain of the person saying it
It is like saying you should not cross roads because Mr A was killed by a car when he crossed the road. How sensible is that? Apply the same logic here

3 Likes

Re: Why You Should NEVER Adopt Kids by osuofia2(m): 2:13pm On Feb 12

SmileDance:
You most likely wouldn't hear of the one that ended well because they won't tell you they were adopted

You could be right

Re: Why You Should NEVER Adopt Kids by Aguiyimba(m): 2:14pm On Feb 12

Yorubastardz:
My aunt who was barren adopted a boy in 2002

Fast forward to 2025 last June.
This boy turned my aunt life upside down

He Insults her like mad. Disrespect her in front of visitors. Scold at her

This got me thinking if Adoption is worth it
Because the boy clearly don't feel connection

And during some of their outburst
He will curse her and her family.. Omo

After seeing this same pattern in 3 families
I have concluded ADOPTION IS A NO NO!!!!

Op there's nothing wrong with ADOPTION, let your anuty should go back to her drawing board something is missing somewhere you can not sow maize and rip mango

Re: Why You Should NEVER Adopt Kids by 2mch(m): 2:14pm On Feb 12

HacheNoire:
Oh! Genetics plays a good role you said?

Majority of those blood thirsty cultist you find were raised by their parents. Most of those hook up girls were raised by their parents, and those fraudsters and drug abusers were raised by their parents.

From your statement, can we now conclude that the genetics of their parents included prostitution, cultism, drug use, fraud.

A kid will become what you want him to become if you invest the time.

Are you saying you have never seen biological children rude to their parents, cos you make it sound like it’s only adopted kids.

How about adopted kids that turned out well. Do we also praise the biological parents genetics or those who raised him?

Who do we attribute Steve Jobs successes to? His biological parents or the couples who nurtured him supported his dreams.

Please! That genetics excuse won’t fly!

Genetics play a role with them too. They are just displaying traits their parents know exist somewhere in their family. But a family without such nasty behavior is bound to be in disarray when that kind of child enters into it.

Re: Why You Should NEVER Adopt Kids by 2mch(m): 2:15pm On Feb 12

Gajagojo:
People who are blood children don't do this?

Steve Jobs was adopted
Babangida was adopted
Nelson Mandela was Adopted

Some things are so stupid to say that you wonder about the brain of the person saying it
It is like saying you should not cross roads because Mr A was killed by a car when he crossed the road. How sensible is that? Apply the same logic here

Is Babangida a good example? His own is one of the cases against adoption.

Re: Why You Should NEVER Adopt Kids by Empresa: 2:15pm On Feb 12

I guess your Aunt spoilt the boy to a fault coupled with the fact that he may have a violent gene running through his veins.

There's one solution, and it's a hard choice. Let the boy know he is an adopted child and nothing more. To make it harder, send him out of the house to go and fend for himself with no coming back. Before you take the second step, take him to the police station to make sure he doesn't come close again

Let the ingrate know who he is

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Re: Why You Should NEVER Adopt Kids by GboyegaD(m): 2:16pm On Feb 12

Yorubastardz:
Even if he was pampered.
Isn't that more reason why he should thank her everyday for adopting and changing his life.

That is why each day I see more reason not to help people.

Remember when zlatan help one family and the same family almost lynch him in the streets.

It's better to mind your business.

You fit help accident victim go hospital
Na police go come arrest you and hold u responsible for the victim.

Like I said
I will never adopt another man child that has a totally different DNA behaviour and character from me

If my child wan misbehave
Atleast I know he got his behaviour and character from me or my wife DNA

That boy that was adopted
Do you know if his real mother is a mad woman.
When the boy grow up he will definitely show sign of madness from his mother. Blood is thicker than water

He might not be over pampered. Imagine a situation where he is reminded all the time he was adopted, how do you expect him to process such?

Re: Why You Should NEVER Adopt Kids by damoobaba: 2:17pm On Feb 12

Yorubastardz:
My aunt who was barren adopted a boy in 2002

Fast forward to 2025 last June.
This boy turned my aunt life upside down

He Insults her like mad. Disrespect her in front of visitors. Scold at her

This got me thinking if Adoption is worth it
Because the boy clearly don't feel connection

And during some of their outburst
He will curse her and her family.. Omo

After seeing this same pattern in 3 families
I have concluded ADOPTION IS A NO NO!!!!

Any child you refuse to DISCIPLINE will turn out thay way whether ADOPTED or your own Biological child.

1 Like

Re: Why You Should NEVER Adopt Kids by GboyegaD(m): 2:18pm On Feb 12

Racheal45:
Nairaland people are funny but real
I was having a plan to adopt a child with what you said I don change plans
Do they actually know if the mother is mad
That is very correct
Mad people children na orphanage dem mostly Dey end up waiting for adoption

This is the major challenge. Most of us adopt not because we love the children involved but because of our situation which lead to resentment sometimes.

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Re: Why You Should NEVER Adopt Kids by Gajagojo: 2:18pm On Feb 12

In the context of this story yes. At the time he became an adult he was not a problem to his Adoptive parents or community

He was able to join the Army and get commission around the age of 21

2mch:
Is Babangida a good example?

Re: Why You Should NEVER Adopt Kids by mecuries(m): 2:19pm On Feb 12

I would rather question your aunt's parental skills..

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Re: Why You Should NEVER Adopt Kids by damoobaba: 2:20pm On Feb 12

JackDaAlienz:
There was one rich man in my church
He was head of Rotary club and I remember vividly that he started a programme that encourage parents to adopt kids.

This was Obasanjo era. Economy was good

My neighbor a nurse adopted 2 kids boys
One popular woman in church adopt 1 boy
Madam Rosita adopted a boy and girl

Now I have been going to that church since I was a kid so I remember when they adopted those kids and did baptism for them.

Now fast forward 2025
My neighbor 2 boys turn out to be cultist
They smoke ibo like nothing
Tattoo everywhere. A huge contrast to her 3 real children she had before adopting 2 boys

The popular woman the boy she adopted dey insult and disgrace am like mad
Dem go dey quarrel like women for public
Only God knows wetin dey happen for private

Madam Rosita the girl she adopted showed her shege pro max at her teenage years
Carry belle very early. The boy run go Libya haven't heard from him since 2021.

So this are the 3 people that lived around my area and same church for 20 years
I remember vididly how they adopted those kids in church and how they all turned out now today. .
I think the problem is that these kids soon realize that they are biological kids.
And I think that realization alone at an early stage in life can throw them off.

Somebody said something about the child having hereditary madness

But I disagree because even the woman you marry that will bear your child.
Do you know if her family has genetic madness??

So in general adoption can be risky and also rewarding. Just like marriage.
It can end up uplifting you or destroying you

Adoption is a very risky something
You don't know the history or potential of that child. Family hismm

Make we no go adopt future Gentle yahoo

You go good for school debate O.

Re: Why You Should NEVER Adopt Kids by dododawa1: 2:20pm On Feb 12

TINUBU is a good example

Re: Why You Should NEVER Adopt Kids by Aguiyimba(m): 2:20pm On Feb 12

Yorubastardz:
Even if he was pampered.
Isn't that more reason why he should thank her everyday for adopting and changing his life.

That is why each day I see more reason not to help people.

Remember when zlatan help one family and the same family almost lynch him in the streets.

Whatever you give a dog na em go answer. Stop painting ADOPTION black please

It's better to mind your business.

You fit help accident victim go hospital
Na police go come arrest you and hold u responsible for the victim.

Like I said
I will never adopt another man child that has a totally different DNA behaviour and character from me

If my child wan misbehave
Atleast I know he got his behaviour and character from me or my wife DNA

That boy that was adopted
Do you know if his real mother is a mad woman.
When the boy grow up he will definitely show sign of madness from his mother. Blood is thicker than water

Re: Why You Should NEVER Adopt Kids by Olamummy001: 2:20pm On Feb 12

I know of someone that was adopted by a church priest, the boy is a big banker in Southampton now, taking care of the real children the priest left behind.

You don't have to generalise, it's your sister that over-pampered

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Re: Why You Should NEVER Adopt Kids by 2mch(m): 2:21pm On Feb 12

Gajagojo:
In the context of this story yes. At the time he became an adult he was not a problem to his Adoptive parents or community

He was able to join the Army and get commission around the age of 21

After that? He caused problems for his whole country that we are still battling today.

1 Like

Re: Why You Should NEVER Adopt Kids by Eniitankorede: 2:22pm On Feb 12

MarkNsukkaBread:
Your aunt probably over-pampered the boy and spoilt him

Most likely. As you lay your bed, you lie in it. Even if she has her own child, over-pampering will lead to the same outcome.

Re: Why You Should NEVER Adopt Kids by Kingrshd3: 2:22pm On Feb 12

Yorubastardz:
Imagine picking a child and taking responsibility to raise the child.

Only for the child to grow up and torment you every day.

Because his genetics and behavior are not from you. His parents might be mad people who abandon him as a baby.

Now you suffer and raise kid
Only for the kid to be a thorn in your life

Exactly the genetic behavior is far different from the Aunt lineage that's why she is seeing such hmm

Re: Why You Should NEVER Adopt Kids by banku: 2:23pm On Feb 12

Everything said here is not exclusive to born or adopted children. Your own children can turn against you just like adopted children. But it really hurts when children you went out of your way to adopt turn against you.

Parents would tell you how their own children neglected them as adopted children came to their rescue.

Just realize that children are not assets as we dreamed of in those days. They are liabilities that you should accept and rear cautiously. Ladies that decided not to have children because they could hardly care for themselves, not to mention children are not stupid after all.

It is the fathers that always get the short end of the stick today.

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