Why You Should NEVER Adopt Kids - Family (4)

Why You Should NEVER Adopt Kids - Family (4) - Nairaland

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Re: Why You Should NEVER Adopt Kids by Kingrshd3: 2:27pm On Feb 12

JackDaAlienz:
There was one rich man in my church
He was head of Rotary club and I remember vividly that he started a programme that encourage parents to adopt kids.

This was Obasanjo era. Economy was good

My neighbor a nurse adopted 2 kids boys
One popular woman in church adopt 1 boy
Madam Rosita adopted a boy and girl

Now I have been going to that church since I was a kid so I remember when they adopted those kids and did baptism for them.

Now fast forward 2025
My neighbor 2 boys turn out to be cultist
They smoke ibo like nothing
Tattoo everywhere. A huge contrast to her 3 real children she had before adopting 2 boys

The popular woman the boy she adopted dey insult and disgrace am like mad
Dem go dey quarrel like women for public
Only God knows wetin dey happen for private

Madam Rosita the girl she adopted showed her shege pro max at her teenage years
Carry belle very early. The boy run go Libya haven't heard from him since 2021.

So this are the 3 people that lived around my area and same church for 20 years
I remember vididly how they adopted those kids in church and how they all turned out now today. .
I think the problem is that these kids soon realize that they are biological kids.
And I think that realization alone at an early stage in life can throw them off.

Somebody said something about the child having hereditary madness

But I disagree because even the woman you marry that will bear your child.
Do you know if her family has genetic madness??

So in general adoption can be risky and also rewarding. Just like marriage.
It can end up uplifting you or destroying you

Adoption is a very risky something
You don't know the history or potential of that child. Family hismm

Make we no go adopt future Gentle yahoo

Hmmm omo my hears don boil already..

Adoption usually comes from parents that are looking for kid or which when d wife is barren so which one be person wey get pikin already con still dey adopt kid again

Re: Why You Should NEVER Adopt Kids by mikeapollo: 2:27pm On Feb 12

Similar thing happened to even late Prophet TB Joshua.
He adopted a girl child that was abandoned in his church in the early '90s, which he named Ajoke. I knew when she was a toddler.
In order to make the child feel loved, everybody in the church around the pastor over-pampered the girl with care, gifts etc.
Everybody avoided scolding or punishing her harshly, so people would not say she was being so treated because she was not a biological child. She grew up, grew wings and started misbehaving due to that lack of control and discipline until she became a problem and was eventually returned to the govt. That is the girl that went to the BBC to say silly things about the pastor including claiming she is his biological child.

2 Likes

Re: Why You Should NEVER Adopt Kids by kannymoore(m): 2:28pm On Feb 12

Didn't Joseph adopt Jesus for bible?

Did Jesus Christ turn out to be a curse to the family?

Una go just open mouth waaa.... dey yarn nonsense sometimes.

Re: Why You Should NEVER Adopt Kids by descarado: 2:29pm On Feb 12

I live abroad and have seen so many adopted adults doing their adopted parents really proud.

Re: Why You Should NEVER Adopt Kids by 2mch(m): 2:30pm On Feb 12

delpee:
Well, Joke Silva said she's an adopted child. She turned out well and has always appreciated the family that gave her a name and the opportunity to be who she is today.

I know people who have adopted kids who are truly grateful and successful. Just as not every biological child will turn out well, so it is with adopted children.

Re: Why You Should NEVER Adopt Kids by JackDaAlienz(m): 2:36pm On Feb 12

Samantha125:
Biological children also do the same thing to their parents, are you now going to tell people altogether to stop conceiving children?

I remember when I was still young, one of our neighbours fired gun shots at his father and grandmother... That night the old lady even developed strength to jump their family boundary wall...🤣🤣🤣... Fortunately for them, they managed to escape unharmed.

Even though the boundary wall wasn't too high, till this day, we still wonder how the grandmother was able to jump it at her age... That family always had drama, my mother once received a punch to the face which was aimed at someone else and land on the floor while trying to separate a fight, a fight she shouldn't have involved herself in in the first place because there were people in the house... The guy is now married and took the drama to his matrimonial house.

Last time I heard, the community men gave him a good panel beating before calling the police on him after he assaulted his wife... And his parents warned the wife about him and his temperamental tendencies when they were still dating, but she still wouldn't listen.

Broooooo

I'm just imaging granny jumping high fence after the gun shot grin

I can't stop laughing grin

I was straight up laughing with real tears . Thanks for a good laugh.. Holy shi...

Re: Why You Should NEVER Adopt Kids by Rebelutionary: 2:37pm On Feb 12

Yorubastardz:
Imagine picking a child and taking responsibility to raise the child.

Only for the child to grow up and torment you every day.

Because his genetics and behavior are not from you. His parents might be mad people who abandon him as a baby.

Now you suffer and raise kid
Only for the kid to be a thorn in your life

Sorry don't get me wrong but If your parents had this backwards thinking maybe they won't give birth to you because what you described is commonplace in even homes with biological children.

Or are you saying because it is "biological children" then such things are ok?

So adoption is not the problem?

I know someone who adopted an almajiri boy and today this boy is doing well for himself and you will never know he was adopted when you see him with that family!

1 Like

Re: Why You Should NEVER Adopt Kids by descarado: 2:38pm On Feb 12

GboyegaD:
He might not be over pampered. Imagine a situation where he is reminded all the time he was adopted, how do you expect him to process such?

Thank you so much. I was looking for this statement.

That is exactly what has happened in all those cases.

They will tell them that they would have been in an orphanage if not for them so they owe them.

They practically destroyed those kids with our naija mouth and expect good results. We do not spare our biological kids from our caustic mouths and do not think that what we say to kids have ways to who they become as adults.

Look around you, we have low self esteem adults.
Money is never enough, we keep on looking for more. The problem is that gap or hole which billions of money can never fill. And since we do not know what it is, we train our kids the same way we were trained and the circle continues.
People who fakes happiness and busy pursuing it through material things.

The government never talk or promote social care in Nigeria. That will solve 85% or more of our problems.

3 Likes

Re: Why You Should NEVER Adopt Kids by TheGift: 2:38pm On Feb 12

Yorubastardz:
My aunt who was barren adopted a boy in 2002

Fast forward to 2025 last June.
This boy turned my aunt life upside down

He Insults her like mad. Disrespect her in front of visitors. Scold at her

This got me thinking if Adoption is worth it
Because the boy clearly don't feel connection

And during some of their outburst
He will curse her and her family.. Omo

After seeing this same pattern in 3 families
I have concluded ADOPTION IS A NO NO!!!!

At what age did she adopt? Did the boy have a Father figure? Did she have an honest conversation with Him about how he came to be adoptable and adopted? These are some of the issues.

Some other people have adopted children that loved and preferred to claim their adopted parents , even after the grew up and discovered their real parents.

Re: Why You Should NEVER Adopt Kids by Psoul(m): 2:38pm On Feb 12

Yorubastardz:
My aunt who was barren adopted a boy in 2002

Fast forward to 2025 last June.
This boy turned my aunt life upside down

He Insults her like mad. Disrespect her in front of visitors. Scold at her

This got me thinking if Adoption is worth it
Because the boy clearly don't feel connection

And during some of their outburst
He will curse her and her family.. Omo

After seeing this same pattern in 3 families
I have concluded ADOPTION IS A NO NO!!!!

I am sorry to say that your judgement is not totally correct or rational.
Haven't you seen a biological child abusing and insulting the parents?
Does this make child bearing a No No?
I have also seen very responsible adopted children.

Most times, those bad behaviours are caused by parents or Foster parents.
They try to be "good, loving and caring" parents and fail to establish boundaries.
They allowed the children to have whatever they want at that tender age.
They fail to be firm and disciplined.
When they child grows up in such way, don't expect the child to automatically become disciplined, respectful, gentle and responsible.

Parents contribute to the bad behaviours as well as the society.

Re: Why You Should NEVER Adopt Kids by uvie66: 2:43pm On Feb 12

Yorubastardz:
Imagine picking a child and taking responsibility to raise the child.

Only for the child to grow up and torment you every day.

Because his genetics and behavior are not from you. His parents might be mad people who abandon him as a baby.

Now you suffer and raise kid.... nonsense talk, where Anini, Oyenusi, Malami, Emefiele, and Godogodo adopted ?
Only for the kid to be a thorn in your life

Re: Why You Should NEVER Adopt Kids by Hassanmaye(m): 2:43pm On Feb 12

MarkNsukkaBread:
Your aunt probably over-pampered the boy and spoilt him

That's the problem of women, they can't raised strong children properly,

Re: Why You Should NEVER Adopt Kids by Samantha125(f): 2:47pm On Feb 12

That family was an entire action movie... grin

JackDaAlienz:
Broooooo
I'm just imaging granny jumping high fence after the gun shot I can't stop laughing I was straight up laughing with real tears . Thanks for a good laugh.. Holy shi...

Re: Why You Should NEVER Adopt Kids by kpankpangolo: 2:47pm On Feb 12

Is that all? Let me tell you my own experience.

In my village, a lunatic slumped to death. Nobody claimed the body. He was quickly buried. Four other lunatics have done the same over the past five years.

I have concluded that poor mental health leads to mysterious deaths.

Yorubastardz:
My aunt who was barren adopted a boy in 2002

Fast forward to 2025 last June.
This boy turned my aunt life upside down

He Insults her like mad. Disrespect her in front of visitors. Scold at her

This got me thinking if Adoption is worth it
Because the boy clearly don't feel connection

And during some of their outburst
He will curse her and her family.. Omo

After seeing this same pattern in 3 families
I have concluded ADOPTION IS A NO NO!!!!

1 Like

Re: Why You Should NEVER Adopt Kids by kpankpangolo: 2:49pm On Feb 12

No. According to his report, it is because the child was adopted. Didn’t you see where he mentioned seeing the same in three different cases?

MarkNsukkaBread:
Your aunt probably over-pampered the boy and spoilt him

Re: Why You Should NEVER Adopt Kids by mobi5592: 2:50pm On Feb 12

The problem is always about experience and nurture. Imagine adopting an almajiri 😀 , you have to carefully and meticulously reorient them, and there's still a chance your effort might not be enough if their past has taken grip of them.

It's not the adoption, but the child's overall experience and how the new parent raise them up

Re: Why You Should NEVER Adopt Kids by jaxxy(m): 2:52pm On Feb 12

Yorubastardz:
My aunt who was barren adopted a boy in 2002

Fast forward to 2025 last June.
This boy turned my aunt life upside down

He Insults her like mad. Disrespect her in front of visitors. Scold at her

This got me thinking if Adoption is worth it
Because the boy clearly don't feel connection

And during some of their outburst
He will curse her and her family.. Omo

After seeing this same pattern in 3 families
I have concluded ADOPTION IS A NO NO!!!!

A child will only act the way u train him or her. How will a child even know he or she is adopted if u don't tell them? Obviously he wasn't brought up to respect elders.

Re: Why You Should NEVER Adopt Kids by brainycaleb(m): 2:53pm On Feb 12

The Holy Bible says “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it!”

Children are what we call a “blank canvass” wether they know they were adopted or not, is not the problem and it doesn’t not change the fact that they need to be guided, nurtured and loved!

I blame the orphanage for not doing a background check on prospective Adoptive parents before commencing adoption to check whether they qualify as good parents.

I can boldly say that the reason why all these children turn out bad was because their adoptive parents nurtured and trained them with the mentality of “so they wouldn’t say it was because they were adopted!” They spared the rod, accepted their every whims and bowed to every pressure!

Every family with an adoption I know personally don’t have this complain the OP posted because the families were Traditional Parenting oriented and their marriage was stable! You can’t expect even a biological child to grow up in a bad setup of a family and not turn out despicable ninety percent of the times!

TLDR; improper parenting breeds damaged children.

1 Like

Re: Why You Should NEVER Adopt Kids by ebenholer2(m): 2:55pm On Feb 12

Yorubastardz:
Imagine picking a child and taking responsibility to raise the child.

Only for the child to grow up and torment you every day.

Because his genetics and behavior are not from you. His parents might be mad people who abandon him as a baby.

Now you suffer and raise kid
Only for the kid to be a thorn in your life

CHECK YOUR NURTURING....THE EFFECTS ARE MEANT TO SUPERCEDE THE EFFECTS OF NATURE ON THE CHILD.
IT IS POSSIBLE THE BOY IS NOT SEEING ANY GOOD EXAMPLE TO FOLLOW.
ADOPTION OR NO ADOPTION DOES NOT COME INTO PLACE AT ALL UNLESS IF THE CHILD WAS NOT NURTURED UNDER YOUR CARE BEFORE ADOLESCENT PERIOD UNDER YOUR CARE.
WE NEED TO BE REALISTIC IN OUR THINKING

Re: Why You Should NEVER Adopt Kids by stagger: 2:55pm On Feb 12

Yorubastardz:
My aunt who was barren adopted a boy in 2002

Fast forward to 2025 last June.
This boy turned my aunt life upside down

He Insults her like mad. Disrespect her in front of visitors. Scold at her

This got me thinking if Adoption is worth it
Because the boy clearly don't feel connection

And during some of their outburst
He will curse her and her family.. Omo

After seeing this same pattern in 3 families
I have concluded ADOPTION IS A NO NO!!!!

Is there a man in that house?

Re: Why You Should NEVER Adopt Kids by franchasofficia: 2:57pm On Feb 12*

The problem stems from women.

Women have a natural deficiency in raising children that are not their biological child. They will unknowingly let the child know that she or he is not their biological child during the course of raising the child and that is where the problem starts.

This is a natural weakness in most women; inability to care and love a child that is not their biological child like it's their biological child. Any little mistake the child makes, the women will capitalize on it and even blame the adopted child's biological parents, and doing so repeatedly will make the child develop resentment for you with time.

Women hardly correct children that are not their biological child with love.

In conclusion, the problem is not adoption but how the adopted children are raised by some of their adopted parents.

If you raise a child with love, no matter what the child will never grow up to despise you, whoever said otherwise is lying.

Most Nigerian women that adopted children don't raise those children with love like they would raise their own biological children.

4 Likes

Re: Why You Should NEVER Adopt Kids by tonididdy(m): 3:10pm On Feb 12

Yorubastardz:
My aunt who was barren adopted a boy in 2002

Fast forward to 2025 last June.
This boy turned my aunt life upside down

He Insults her like mad. Disrespect her in front of visitors. Scold at her

This got me thinking if Adoption is worth it
Because the boy clearly don't feel connection

And during some of their outburst
He will curse her and her family.. Omo

After seeing this same pattern in 3 families
I have concluded ADOPTION IS A NO NO!!!!

Depends on how you raised the kids!
...if you raised them to know they are adopted, well you "may" get this kind of results

Re: Why You Should NEVER Adopt Kids by Neddyogu(m): 3:11pm On Feb 12

Probably no father figure in the boy's life.

Re: Why You Should NEVER Adopt Kids by starpower(m): 3:11pm On Feb 12

Yorubastardz:
My aunt who was barren adopted a boy in 2002

Fast forward to 2025 last June.
This boy turned my aunt life upside down

He Insults her like mad. Disrespect her in front of visitors. Scold at her

This got me thinking if Adoption is worth it
Because the boy clearly don't feel connection

And during some of their outburst
He will curse her and her family.. Omo

After seeing this same pattern in 3 families
I have concluded ADOPTION IS A NO NO!!!!

most of kids offered for adoption in Nigeria I seized from crazy people or families. Traditionally we are communal in nature, even orphans get auntie's and uncles. But people from dysfunction families are easily abandoned and might also inherit mental illness.

Re: Why You Should NEVER Adopt Kids by Alsenora: 3:15pm On Feb 12

Exactly the point. A child don't just turn out bad . The parental upbringing is obviously the main issue.

MarkNsukkaBread:
Your aunt probably over-pampered the boy and spoilt him

Re: Why You Should NEVER Adopt Kids by zikter(m): 3:16pm On Feb 12

Yorubastardz:
Even if he was pampered.
Isn't that more reason why he should thank her everyday for adopting and changing his life.

That is why each day I see more reason not to help people.

Remember when zlatan help one family and the same family almost lynch him in the streets.

It's better to mind your business.

You fit help accident victim go hospital
Na police go come arrest you and hold u responsible for the victim.

Like I said
I will never adopt another man child that has a totally different DNA behaviour and character from me

If my child wan misbehave
Atleast I know he got his behaviour and character from me or my wife DNA

That boy that was adopted
Do you know if his real mother is a mad woman.
When the boy grow up he will definitely show sign of madness from his mother. Blood is thicker than water

I don't think it completely justifies your point on adoption. This things go either way regardless of if you birthed a child or adopted. There are people who their biological children killed them or tormenting them just like the your aunt's case. There are some adoptions that are also working fine. Therefore your assertion is not conclusive

Re: Why You Should NEVER Adopt Kids by 12345baba(m): 3:16pm On Feb 12

It's obvious ur anty no train the boy properly

Re: Why You Should NEVER Adopt Kids by Leonardo4(m): 3:17pm On Feb 12

Yorubastardz:
She should have left the baby to be eating beans in orphanage.

That is why I don't like helping people

Now she don go buy market.

I heard the boy hits her sometimes

Her crime was to raise and take care of the boy.
The boy know that he is adopted

All I see is there is no motherly connection
Because she didn't give birth to him. Simple

Nothing like no motherly connection. A child will be affectionate to the woman that raised him or her whether it's the mother or not. That child was spoiled from upbringing
If it were her child he would have turn out the same. I have seen several adopted children that became the saviour of their their foster parent. You won't even know they where adopted from the relationship

Re: Why You Should NEVER Adopt Kids by obaidan: 3:18pm On Feb 12

So because your aunt adopted 1 child and the child insults here and didnt turn out out well, people should ignore the story of all the other adopted children that turned out well.

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