₦airaland Forum

One of the reasons you haven't heard from people abroad or you think they don't care is because most haven't made it and the main reason is because they didn't plan well or what they met is not what they expected.

Living in Europe or the West is cool and beautiful because of the quality of life available. But what most people won't tell you is that they're been trapped in a system that makes you work to feed yourself and nothing more (especially those without skills)

It's easy, before you travel abroad get multiple skills and a soft landing. This is the only way you send money quick and somehow escape the system abroad.

In all, no matter the situation, don't forget home.

I have a friend whom I have sparingly called since I left. But guess what, I call him during breaks and oh, we sometimes talk for 5hrs on a stretch, until another 5 to 6 months. I'm grateful he understands me.

First few months of arriving abroad, I've paid black tax to the tune of millions. Things reach the point a church friend who has been married for 18yrs pleading for financial assistance to do IVF , some people are just wicked.

When i dey suffer and hustling back at home nobody go see you, but once you japa lai dis, you become their saviour and tipatipa friend.

What you guys don't know is that Nigerians in diaspora work their asses off, day and night for that money you guys spend recklessly at home. Is it work in extreme weather conditions you want to talk about?

Cutting ties saves you a lot of headaches especially from leeches and fake friends.

ChizzyBuna:
We were secondary school best friends
It's not like we were blood brothers
You move into a new environment you make new friends things change
Trust me you all will do worse when you japa

Nahh! I travel and come back. The friends I dissociated with in life is mainly out of betrayals and incompatibilities, not because I changed environment. Yeah when you japa they look up to you for money but I let them understand that I too have needs and give the little I can especially knowing how the country is. A little love bro, even blood brothers betray. It is well.

ProfGday:
First few months of arriving abroad, I've paid black tax to the tune of millions. Things reach the point a church friend who has been married for 18yrs pleading for financial assistance to do IVF , some people are just wicked.

When i dey suffer and hustling back at home nobody go see you, but once you japa lai dis, you become their saviour and tipatipa friend.

What you guys don't know is that Nigerians in diaspora work their asses off, day and night for that money you guys spend recklessly at home. Is it work in extreme weather conditions you want to talk about?

Cutting ties saves you a lot of headaches especially from leeches and fake friends.

Haba if the guy has a family house, let him sell it. That kind of cost is not one you put on a friend.

Sirmee:
I have a friend turned brother before he left Naija for UK in 2020. Till date he has never ghosted me for once, we speak minimum 5 hours a week. I can reach out to him anytime, Truth be told He calls me more. Before he left, he told me, bro I'll tell you the truth about abroad and he lived up to his word.
SO when I read about people ghosting their friends when they get abroad, I'm always like wetin dey worry these ones.

I’m so happy that you made this type of review.
There is a quote that says, “If you want to test a man, give him money or power.”
If you have a friend who ghosts you when he travels, it means he already had that in mind even before he left.

garykoeman:
Relocation does not stop you from reaching out to friends.

You just don't want to.

It the same Nigeria mentality, I first you enter university, and you cut off your friends still looking for admission.

Nice one, I will be using this your line for analogies.

ChizzyBuna:
You know I will speak for myself..

First off I didn't plan of travelling outside
IT happened so unexpected and threw me off a bit cuz I never planned to travel outside.

The Nigerian factor of not telling people you are traveling before ur traveling played a huge role.
My class mates had no single Idea.

I moved abroad. Once I got accomodation
I began to call home and inform people that in finally abroad
Many people found out via Facebook

Secondly, the life abroad compared to Nigeria is like Plaustion 1 vs Playstation 5
So you really don't have much to talk about because your life in Europe is far different from Naija life of people back home.

So naturally your brain is 98% invested in this new Society, the new environment, the law, it's tradition, the women , challenge or phase in life abroad comes in different forms.


There are challenges that every one meets when they travel abroad.
They are so invested in the system that they really have no time for themselves talkless of the people back home in Nigeria.

I had a best friend who I lost contact with because I was too invested in my challenges and new experience abroad.
He would try to reach out to me via my younger bro but we still didn't talk for years.

When I relocated back to Naija after couple months I tried to find him on Twitter I now saw that he is now in Germany.

I reached out to him, many times guess what?.
He did not respond till now
So I was like ahhhhaa he don do me back
G/G and over 2.5 settled.

I say no wahala, such is life

My conclusion is that those in Nigeria complaining that the abroad people are neglecting them.
Once these same Nigerians are Put in the same shoes as those abroad. They will even do far worse and neglect more than those they complained about. Peace out✌🏿

You have quickly concluded its draw but you forgot he may not have settled too. Well na so life be

kingthreat:
The people who japa and turn ghost mode act like they have struck gold. They see japa as an achievement and anyone who messages them as a beggar waiting to ask them for money. The ghostmode thing is not only for their friends or contacts, it even extends to their parents. There's a struggling family I know, the girl got a scholarship to japa to Canada. Her dad sold off a piece of land to but the ticket and other processing. But as she japa, the family at home is still the same. The rented house she left them in 5 years ago is still where they are but on social media this girl shows off herself doing monthly vacations around the world. Ghosts her family, blames her other siblings for being lazy. Glad for them, one of the sons just japa'd to Turkey to play basketball at one of the lower leagues and within 4 months the parents are already enjoying him.

Most of them don't see themselves as Nigerians anymore or dream of coming back so the advice is not for them.

That girl is just a wicked soul and there are many of them like that.

After I relocated, I called ate least 7 of my work friends and explained the exact process to them. At least 4 of them are here now.

My childhood friends are another story. Our mindsets are very different and I understand why. It's always been like that.

Nevertheless I keep in touch and press one or two around festive periods even though there is often times nothing to talk about.

My immediate and extended family is a different thing entirely. Both father and mother side, nobody dey house. Everybody don move finish.

otipoju:
That girl is just a wicked soul and there are many of them like that.

After I relocated, I called ate least 7 of my work friends and explained the exact process to them. At least 4 of them are here now.

My childhood friends are another story. Our mindsets are very different and I understand why. It's always been like that.

Nevertheless I keep in touch and press one or two around festive periods even though there is often times nothing to talk about.

My immediate and extended family is a different thing entirely. Both father and mother side, nobody dey house. Everybody don move finish.

Cool. God used you to bring smiles into a lot of faces.

ChizzyBuna:
You know I will speak for myself..

First off I didn't plan of travelling outside
IT happened so unexpected and threw me off a bit cuz I never planned to travel outside.

The Nigerian factor of not telling people you are traveling before ur traveling played a huge role.
My class mates had no single Idea.

I moved abroad. Once I got accomodation
I began to call home and inform people that in finally abroad
Many people found out via Facebook

Secondly, the life abroad compared to Nigeria is like Plaustion 1 vs Playstation 5
So you really don't have much to talk about because your life in Europe is far different from Naija life of people back home.

So naturally your brain is 98% invested in this new Society, the new environment, the law, it's tradition, the women , challenge or phase in life abroad comes in different forms.


There are challenges that every one meets when they travel abroad.
They are so invested in the system that they really have no time for themselves talkless of the people back home in Nigeria.

I had a best friend who I lost contact with because I was too invested in my challenges and new experience abroad.
He would try to reach out to me via my younger bro but we still didn't talk for years.

When I relocated back to Naija after couple months I tried to find him on Twitter I now saw that he is now in Germany.

I reached out to him, many times guess what?.
He did not respond till now
So I was like ahhhhaa he don do me back
G/G and over 2.5 settled.

I say no wahala, such is life

My conclusion is that those in Nigeria complaining that the abroad people are neglecting them.
Once these same Nigerians are Put in the same shoes as those abroad. They will even do far worse and neglect more than those they complained about. Peace out✌🏿

In your case you just wicked and he did his own back 😆

ChizzyBuna:
trust me you will do the same when you relocate abroad.
Family will always be in contact
But friends and pals nahhhh. That will be tough

I remember when I tried doing video call with one of my homie
Omo na darkness I just dey see
Only his teeth was showing plus network was cracking..
So I started feeling bad because my backdrop was a beautiful chandelier light and a well clean room. It felt like I was oppressing him

And he will make comments like chaii you are enjoying ooo. Help your guy naa.
Omo I decided to back off a bit because I can't keep doing that to him mentally because we are in 2 different realities so there is nothing much that keep us together apart from old memories of our days in Naija.

It's a complicated something

Hahaha... You be comedian sha... Darkness and white teeth.

The funny thing be say the person may still be shouting on your mandate will shall stand

I don't know why you guys call it black tax
.
That's why Asians are doing more better than you guys in Europe....Asians are family oriented no divorce and they earn higher and they still send monies to family and you don't hear Asian saying Asian tax or yellow tax

It's only you Africans that are even doing lower or lowest jobs amongst all the races in Europe and Africa ....unlike Asians that are into ICT, tech, medicals etc

Una too complain

ProfGday:
First few months of arriving abroad, I've paid black tax to the tune of millions. Things reach the point a church friend who has been married for 18yrs pleading for financial assistance to do IVF , some people are just wicked.

When i dey suffer and hustling back at home nobody go see you, but once you japa lai dis, you become their saviour and tipatipa friend.

What you guys don't know is that Nigerians in diaspora work their asses off, day and night for that money you guys spend recklessly at home. Is it work in extreme weather conditions you want to talk about?

Cutting ties saves you a lot of headaches especially from leeches and fake friends.

Thank you bro.... Some people can be so greedy

kingthreat:
Haba if the guy has a family house, let him sell it. That kind of cost is not one you put on a friend.

Asians and other races don't depend on their kinsmen for financial assistance. The best they can do for their relations is to help in bringing them over abroad. Do your findings and see for yourself

ariesbull:
I don't know why you guys call it black tax
.
That's why Asians are doing more better than you guys in Europe....Asians are family oriented no divorce and they earn higher and they still send monies to family and you don't hear Asian saying Asian tax or yellow tax

It's only you Africans that are even doing lower or lowest jobs amongst all the races in Europe and Africa ....unlike Asians that are into ICT, tech, medicals etc

Una too complain

ChizzyBuna:
help wetin?
You think abroad is a bed of roses??
I was paying $300 a month for accomodations
That is 400k plus every bloody month
Not to talk of electricity bill, water bill
The only cheapest bill was internet bill.

Una need to japa make reality humble una

Did your friend ever asked you for financial help?
I have cousins and friends in Canada, UK the USA. I've never asked any of them for shihi.
He only reached out as a friend and you ignored him. You're worst. You would betray him if the opportunity presents itself. That's why he had to run away from you. I would likely run too...because the assumption would be that you thought you've outgrown me..now tht you're back to the country and I'm in Germany, you now want to start the friendship you destroyed.
Nonsense

OverCalculating:
Hello Niralanders, as you chase your dreams abroad, don't forget the people and place that made you. Home is where the heart is, and it's the friends and family that make it truly special. Don't let comfort and distance make you forget where you came from. One day, you'll be old and ready to come back home, but if you've lost touch with loved ones, you'll be left with empty memories. Hold on to home, and the people who truly care about you 🌍.

Many things here.
1. When communicating with them, try as much as possible not to bring money matters to even remotely suggest you need their help.
2. It can be really chellenging for the abroad people, a man facing immigration issues will cut communications with almost everyone, except perhaps close family members.
3. Many cut off because they don't want to hear "what kind of job are you doing over there?". Imagine a banker now working as a dishwasher, he know your reaction will be that of mockery, so he may entirely not give you the opportunity to ask that question.
4. If a man abroad plans himself very well, once he returns, even those he blanked will swarm around him like bees on honey, trying to scam, rip off, benefit, etc. You assertion that they will suffer is a big lie.

ChizzyBuna:
You know I will speak for myself..

First off I didn't plan of travelling outside
IT happened so unexpected and threw me off a bit cuz I never planned to travel outside.

The Nigerian factor of not telling people you are traveling before ur traveling played a huge role.
My class mates had no single Idea.

I moved abroad. Once I got accomodation
I began to call home and inform people that in finally abroad
Many people found out via Facebook

Secondly, the life abroad compared to Nigeria is like Plaustion 1 vs Playstation 5
So you really don't have much to talk about because your life in Europe is far different from Naija life of people back home.

So naturally your brain is 98% invested in this new Society, the new environment, the law, it's tradition, the women , challenge or phase in life abroad comes in different forms.


There are challenges that every one meets when they travel abroad.
They are so invested in the system that they really have no time for themselves talkless of the people back home in Nigeria.

I had a best friend who I lost contact with because I was too invested in my challenges and new experience abroad.
He would try to reach out to me via my younger bro but we still didn't talk for years.

When I relocated back to Naija after couple months I tried to find him on Twitter I now saw that he is now in Germany.

I reached out to him, many times guess what?.
He did not respond till now
So I was like ahhhhaa he don do me back
G/G and over 2.5 settled.

I say no wahala, such is life

My conclusion is that those in Nigeria complaining that the abroad people are neglecting them.
Once these same Nigerians are Put in the same shoes as those abroad. They will even do far worse and neglect more than those they complained about. Peace out✌🏿

Leave that bro.lf u want to cumunicate u can . People v their personal reason for "cutting" off.

I remain too open to people and I am paying dearly for it.
I am happy about it but Nigerians are abusing it.
The moment you granted the first request just go and set up direct debit.
You start with small amount, they want a higher amount and also telling convincing lies to get money from you.
I asked someone to let me know about his next house rent he said it's due already and few weeks after paying his rent he mentioned his birthday and it will continue like that for ever.

ChizzyBuna:
help wetin?
You think abroad is a bed of roses??
I was paying $300 a month for accomodations
That is 400k plus every bloody month
Not to talk of electricity bill, water bill
The only cheapest bill was internet bill.

Una need to japa make reality humble una

Guy which kind of accomodation is 400$. Na bed space u dey live. A standard accomodation na 700 to 1300$. My friend in london pays 2000£ for 2 tiny rooms amd parlour flat.

OverCalculating:
You didn't try at all. We know your type. Nothing stopped you from helping him if he was truly your bestie. What happend to "...Friends for Life!" You no be better person.

very nonsense person.

kingthreat:
The people who japa and turn ghost mode act like they have struck gold. They see japa as an achievement and anyone who messages them as a beggar waiting to ask them for money. The ghostmode thing is not only for their friends or contacts, it even extends to their parents. There's a struggling family I know, the girl got a scholarship to japa to Canada. Her dad sold off a piece of land to but the ticket and other processing. But as she japa, the family at home is still the same. The rented house she left them in 5 years ago is still where they are but on social media this girl shows off herself doing monthly vacations around the world. Ghosts her family, blames her other siblings for being lazy. Glad for them, one of the sons just japa'd to Turkey to play basketball at one of the lower leagues and within 4 months the parents are already enjoying him.

Most of them don't see themselves as Nigerians anymore or dream of coming back so the advice is not for them.

people that will die in their apartment for days before people will find out.
I don't envy those that travelled abroad,they are miserable.
Many will die there.
Imagine dying in a foreign land,away from your ancestors.
People that cannot east good food, and lack of warmth.
That's why they always die of cancer.
I have only but pity for them.

people that will die in their apartment for days before people will find out.
I don't envy those that travelled abroad,they are miserable.
Many will die there.
Imagine dying in a foreign land,away from your ancestors.
People that cannot east good food, and lack of warmth.
That's why they always die of cancer.
I have only but pity for them.

Most friends back home are really terrible. Blessed are those who got good friends.

Friends really show me 99 for this like. I still tried to help my best friend after he lost his job and his wife left him, she also left with their only son.

I have to give him a business idea to go and learn from the people i directed him to meet. gave him some money as pocket money and transportation fare.
Cos i wanted us to do partnership for the supplies business which will bring the capital fund.

But las las after giving him the money to start the supplies which he started. But guess what;
HE STOPPED TAKING MY CALLS and STARTED HAPPENING IN THE AREA FLEXING WITH DIFFERENT GIRLS.😂😂😂😂

And i now paid some guys around the area to to run Intel for me to get him arrested with my lawyer already got petition approval from the commissioner of police. LUCKILY HE WAS ARRESTED AFTER FEW MONTHS OF FLYING UP and DOWN LIKE A WISE FOOL.

Luckily too, the money was sent to him throug my girlfriend who's in Naija. So the matter was between him and my girlfriend. He stayed in the cell for 2weeks and his family started paying back my money. I taught him the power of education.

rafcrown:
I remain too open to people and I am paying dearly for it.
I am happy about it but Nigerians are abusing it.
The moment you granted the first request just go and set up direct debit.
You start with small amount, they want a higher amount and also telling convincing lies to get money from you.
I asked someone to let me know about his next house rent he said it's due already and few weeks after paying his rent he mentioned his birthday and it will continue like that for ever.

Most times many people dont understand the challenges faced by people abroad. They just think that once u are abroad u will be swimming in money. If u know how people abroad work u go pity them. U go shook ut head. U dont even have any suppprt system. If u out of job for 1 month u go almost have hypertension. People that wake up in the morning to go do menial job still send the money to help friends only to find out that they now want to turn them to atm. U cant even ask ur friend in naija to help u do something. Dey go bill u like nothing. Some go say he has money na. U set up business in naija, they go thief everything and say the owner dey abroad, he go make the money again. None of those people will be able to work in that extreme cold, do kitchen porter/ ware house job to start with. Some people even has debt that they are settling but immediately people hear that u are in abroad the billing start. No one is genuinely concerned about how u are getting on in a strange land. No matter how u help them when u say u dont have u become a bad person without thinking of those times u helped. Abroad is not easy. If u are not a die hard u go pick ur load say u no do again. Immigration wahala dey dia. Uk experience self dey dia. One person go con dey say u dey bone them. U way.u dey battle assignment, battle schoolfees, battle house rent, battle a new system and how to navigate using google map, battle language, battle food change, battle weather, battle immigration and how to become permanent residency, one person go still dey fight u say u bone them. With all i list e no reach make person enter depression or high bp

abuhusna1:
Many of them go take billings finish you while you have not even found your feet. Abroad is broader than everyone think back home. When you are in the system the reality hits you hard and you dont want anyone to add to your pressure reason many become ghost

No be to lock up no reply msgs. Abroad no be heaven

The ghosting will stop when you Nigerians back home learn to quit the entitlement mentality of thinking those abroad owe you financial support.

I keep in close contact with all my peeps abroad... We have a healthy communication line, and none of them have ever been billed by me ever!

Even when they offer me money, I often politely decline... Most times, they insist.

That's how it should be... Abroad no be heaven where you go begging for "something" shamelessly.

The people who complain.do so based on where the person travelled to. Their paddi would leave for Benin .... and for two years not a word from Benin ....no enquiry ...no complaint. Their paddi left for US ... two weeks ...no word .... they start to complain quietly... privately...then loudly...publicly ... of being ghosted by their childhood paddi. We all know why.

I have a friend like that too, he left for South Africa and decided to ghost me. I'm not mad at him anyway , he has reason for doing that.
#GODisgood

OverCalculating:
Hello Niralanders, as you chase your dreams abroad, don't forget the people and place that made you. Home is where the heart is, and it's the friends and family that make it truly special. Don't let comfort and distance make you forget where you came from. One day, you'll be old and ready to come back home, but if you've lost touch with loved ones, you'll be left with empty memories. Hold on to home, and the people who truly care about you 🌍.

nonsense talk as usual. You are better off retiring abroad, even if you return back home as long as you have money people will still gravitate towards you 😂