My Wife Isn't Adding Any Value To My Life - Family (4)

My Wife Isn't Adding Any Value To My Life - Family (4) - Nairaland

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Re: My Wife Isn't Adding Any Value To My Life by Akalia(m): 10:25pm On Mar 08

funkmrflexx:
I've been married for 3 years now with 2 kids, I try my best to take care of my family but the economy has become very bad so it's no longer possible to take care of a family of 4 on just 1 income.
When I had money, I setup a business for my wife because I want her to be engaged and also she can support with whatever she has from the business, but after a year the business crumbled with no results to show (she gave many excuses on why she can't continue the business), even after that I've tried engaging her on other endeavors but she's not always serious.

Now she does nothing, she just presses phone and play games all day long, all the responsibilities are on me, basically everything from school fees, feeding, house rent to buying a cube of Maggi.

I've tried talking to her several times but she will pretend to be serious and goes back to default settings, I'm tired and its really talking a tole on me, sometimes I just get angry at her for no reason and I don't even want to come home.

It's not the fact the she's staying home that's the issue, its the fact the she's not showing any effort to try and do something. I'm tired because all the money I make is being used for feeding and running the house, I can't even save or even think about buying properties

God will provide you with an opportunity to earn a very good salary. I was once in your shoe, all i needed was a way better job and it miraculously came my way at the appointed time.
Today, comfortably no matter how much I spend in running the family every month, I still have a great deal of balance to split between my personal savings and my frivolities.
Your wife is not a problem-please never see her as one else the devil will start feeding you with negative thoughts that will drive you to acting untoward to your wife.

Yes, she may not be economically productive but she is still very useful in other areas in the marriage, so don't go hard on her. She can't do what she doesn't have the capacity to do.
I pray that God will come through for every responsible married man that is struggling financially, Amen.
OP please be intentional about getting closer to GOD. What you really need is a miraculous breakthrough and not necessarily your wife's supporting effort towards financing your home.

6 Likes

Re: My Wife Isn't Adding Any Value To My Life by Usmanovic95(m): 10:26pm On Mar 08

verminnel:
Sir, in the context of " marriage" it is partnership and what is partnership sir? He didnt do due diligence before settling for his wife you are right ' bout that but it doesnt erase the fact that " marriage " is partnership where the two parties work to strike a balance.

The harsh truth here is that the wife is lazy. Laziness is an innate trait. Partnership in this context can only work if both parties have the same amount of zeal and work ethics but it's a different scenario here. I understand why man feel this way tho cos it's discouraging having an unproductive partner who sit at home all day doing next to nothing.

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Wife Isn't Adding Any Value To My Life by PissInside: 10:26pm On Mar 08

A whole lot of men are going to marry nonsense in this generation.

No wonder a lot of newly married men are now looking old,depressed and aggressive.

7 Likes 2 Shares

Re: My Wife Isn't Adding Any Value To My Life by carzeem1: 10:27pm On Mar 08

jaxxy:
in The US the man will leave the home for the woman with no warning and she will automatically be forced to step up and take responsibility.

I'm not lazy so I can't stand a lazy or idle woman who enjoys doing nothing and constantly in redundancy mode. I don't believe in a housewife mentality.

But back to the issue, since we are not in the US but in Nigeria I suggest u leave for a week and leave her to fend for the home... by the time u come back she should have a paradigm shit. Lol

I doubt that approach will work in Nigeria. She will just put the burden on her family members and yours which will bring embarrassment on you.

The kind of quick jobs available in Nigeria are usually shameful to most women(societal norms) jobs like filling station attendant, primary school teachers, security, supermarket sales, insurance marketing, lawma etc

1 Like

Re: My Wife Isn't Adding Any Value To My Life by Adaumunocha(f): 10:27pm On Mar 08

Fekumzi123:
Just like me, you never really tired.
If you're really really tired, you will stop providing for her. In that case, your kids will suffer too and you will push to start finding alternatives. The best alternatives out there is to start following men. But even if she goes outside, it is still her lost.
The choice is yours.

Married for 3 years with two kids so its possible that the 2 child still a toddler! You men can be very wicked and selfish plus unreasonable. Did u bring househelp that will bring d kids back from school? U go out in d morning and come back at night and think d woman has it easy with toddlers? Stay away from women if cannot man d fvck Up!!!

18 Likes 4 Shares

Re: My Wife Isn't Adding Any Value To My Life by Ifyok50(m): 10:28pm On Mar 08

gracias124:
But here where I reside thats how all wives are so I dont see anything wrong in that

I guess, that must be in the North, for that's their norm.

Re: My Wife Isn't Adding Any Value To My Life by Kalulu44: 10:29pm On Mar 08

Emdi1914:
See, you have to understand something..,as a man,it is more pleasurable to give than to receive.
This marriage thing is not for everyone.If you see 'providing' as hard labor,it is better not to marry, because providing for someone is more of pleasure than pain,I swear it is a blessing believe me.

I understand you wholeheartedly, but that shouldn't make my woman non challant

1 Like

Re: My Wife Isn't Adding Any Value To My Life by verminnel(f): 10:30pm On Mar 08

Usmanovic95:
The harsh truth here is that the wife is lazy. Laziness is an innate trait. Partnership in this context can only work if both parties have the same amount of zeal and work ethics but it's a different scenario here. I understand why man feel this way tho cos it's discouraging having an unproductive partner who sit at home all day doing next to nothing.

you've said it all

1 Like

Re: My Wife Isn't Adding Any Value To My Life by SIRTee15: 10:31pm On Mar 08

funkmrflexx:
I've been married for 3 years now with 2 kids, I try my best to take care of my family but the economy has become very bad so it's no longer possible to take care of a family of 4 on just 1 income.
When I had money, I setup a business for my wife because I want her to be engaged and also she can support with whatever she has from the business, but after a year the business crumbled with no results to show (she gave many excuses on why she can't continue the business), even after that I've tried engaging her on other endeavors but she's not always serious.

Now she does nothing, she just presses phone and play games all day long, all the responsibilities are on me, basically everything from school fees, feeding, house rent to buying a cube of Maggi.

I've tried talking to her several times but she will pretend to be serious and goes back to default settings, I'm tired and its really talking a tole on me, sometimes I just get angry at her for no reason and I don't even want to come home.

It's not the fact the she's staying home that's the issue, its the fact the she's not showing any effort to try and do something. I'm tired because all the money I make is being used for feeding and running the house, I can't even save or even think about buying properties

First it's insulting to say your wife added no value to your life. She gave u 2 kids that bears YOUR NAME. THAT PRESERVES YOUR LEGACY.
She just doesn't sit down at home doing nothing, she is raising your kids, keeping the house clean, cooking you good home made meals and satisfying your urge at night at your beckon. That is something and u dont pay her for it, do you?
forcing her to do business when she has no entrepreneurial skills or background history in business acumen shows it's your fault not hers. She may be well adapted to routine desk job rather than commerce. ask her first how she wants to add extra income to the house not just pushing your ways on her.

Finally, whether u like it or not. It's your duty to provide for your home. THAT IS YOUR GOD GIVING RIGHT DUTY AS A MAN TO PROVIDE FOR YOUR HOME OTHERWISE U ARE WORSE THAN AN INFIDEL- NA BIBLE TALK AM.
Being a man isnt about attending to the needs of your testosterone urge or packing 5 shoulders up and down. What makes u a man is your ability to take care of yourself, another man's daughter and your kids.
whatever your wife brings in is just an adjuvant, u are not expected to rely on it.

I think it's high time we really need to change the orientation of our men in southern Nigeria, because I dont understand how u cant feed your family and the next thing that comes to your mind is to blame your wife....instead of u to DOUBLE YOUR HUSTLE AND KEEP GRINDING.

come to uk, south asian men dont even allow their wives to work, yet na dem get property pass even more than africans that both couple work.
Men better learn to work hard, disruptive AI is coming that will wipe out more than half of all jobs in labour market. At that time, a man will even be lucky to get job not to talk a house wife.

11 Likes

Re: My Wife Isn't Adding Any Value To My Life by jaxxy(m): 10:31pm On Mar 08

carzeem1:
I doubt that approach will work in Nigeria. She will just put the burden on her family members and yours which will bring embarrassment on you.

The kind of quick jobs available in Nigeria are usually shameful to most women(societal norms) jobs like filling station attendant, primary school teachers, security, supermarket sales, insurance marketing, lawma etc

Well he opened a business for her and she couldn't manage it so she needs to get serious or face reality.

1 Like

Re: My Wife Isn't Adding Any Value To My Life by placeofallure(f): 10:33pm On Mar 08

funkmrflexx:
I've been married for 3 years now with 2 kids, I try my best to take care of my family but the economy has become very bad so it's no longer possible to take care of a family of 4 on just 1 income.
When I had money, I setup a business for my wife because I want her to be engaged and also she can support with whatever she has from the business, but after a year the business crumbled with no results to show (she gave many excuses on why she can't continue the business), even after that I've tried engaging her on other endeavors but she's not always serious.

Now she does nothing, she just presses phone and play games all day long, all the responsibilities are on me, basically everything from school fees, feeding, house rent to buying a cube of Maggi.

I've tried talking to her several times but she will pretend to be serious and goes back to default settings, I'm tired and its really talking a tole on me, sometimes I just get angry at her for no reason and I don't even want to come home.

It's not the fact the she's staying home that's the issue, its the fact the she's not showing any effort to try and do something. I'm tired because all the money I make is being used for feeding and running the house, I can't even save or even think about buying properties

At this point in time bro, I won't lie to you, it's your cross, you will carry it.

Many women are vain, they are cut out for the soft life. Even if the task is just to lift a leg and put it on the table, once you call it "work" they recoil into their cocoon, they can't and won't do it since it's "work"!

I don't know, but we're different, how somebody can wake up and decide the next best thing is to 'tọ'pa tọ'sẹ'. How can? I will always work, even if my husband is a Dangote.

You can't tell us you don't know this part of her while you were dating. They're red flags, but maybe they look like pink at the time and you chose to ignore them. It's late now. You can't divorce her based on this cause I'm sure you never had a clear-cut conversation around this.

Upcoming ones should take a cue from this. Dating is not only about ice cream and movies, that's the time to negotiate and get a good bargain when you are not invested or committed yet.

My humble submission.

7 Likes 2 Shares

Re: My Wife Isn't Adding Any Value To My Life by tnerro1(m): 10:33pm On Mar 08

After kneeling down to beg her to be your wife and part of your life, now she wan use stress that that life from you, no be juju be dat 😂

1 Like

Re: My Wife Isn't Adding Any Value To My Life by APOPTOSIS: 10:34pm On Mar 08

funkmrflexx:
I've been married for 3 years now with 2 kids, I try my best to take care of my family but the economy has become very bad so it's no longer possible to take care of a family of 4 on just 1 income.
When I had money, I setup a business for my wife because I want her to be engaged and also she can support with whatever she has from the business, but after a year the business crumbled with no results to show (she gave many excuses on why she can't continue the business), even after that I've tried engaging her on other endeavors but she's not always serious.

Now she does nothing, she just presses phone and play games all day long, all the responsibilities are on me, basically everything from school fees, feeding, house rent to buying a cube of Maggi.

I've tried talking to her several times but she will pretend to be serious and goes back to default settings, I'm tired and its really talking a tole on me, sometimes I just get angry at her for no reason and I don't even want to come home.

It's not the fact the she's staying home that's the issue, its the fact the she's not showing any effort to try and do something. I'm tired because all the money I make is being used for feeding and running the house, I can't even save or even think about buying properties

This is an example where you will know that to marry a HARDWORKING single mother is better than what you described above.

This is an example where you will know that an averagely beautiful hardworking woman is far better than an empty slay queen.

This is an example where you will know that any hardworking woman, irrespective of tribe, beauty characteristics or whatever is better than any lazy prettiest woman.

I have always warned people to avoid sit at home ladies. Avoid ladies from poor homes.
I have daughters and will never watch them become Liabilities to their spouses.

7 Likes

Re: My Wife Isn't Adding Any Value To My Life by Emdi1914: 10:35pm On Mar 08

Kalulu44:
I understand you wholeheartedly, but that shouldn't make my woman non challant

Different strokes for different folks.Do you know there are some men who don't even want their wife to do anything,they just want them to stay at home.
One man's meat is another man's stone

1 Like

Re: My Wife Isn't Adding Any Value To My Life by Kalulu44: 10:37pm On Mar 08

Emdi1914:
Different strokes for different folks.Do you know there are some men that who don't even want their wife to do anything,they just want them to stay at home.
One man's meat is another man's stone

Yeah, you're right. Especially rich Igbo men

1 Like

Re: My Wife Isn't Adding Any Value To My Life by Kobojunkie: 10:40pm On Mar 08

Kingosytex:
✓ She pulled out those kids because she herself wanted to and it's almost certain that those kids will tilt more towards her when they grow ___she will reap the greater rewards while the man gets little or next to nothing.
✓ It's funny how you all spew up all sorts of illogical thoughts to drive down a silly and nonsensical point.
A wife should add value to her man, she should ease his stress not compound them.

Greater rewards? Wow... Why do people like your enter into relationships with women with this mentality? It is Ok to be gay these days! 🥱🥱🥱

2. In marriage, expect to get what you signed up for, not what you imagined in your mind. And if you feel women are never fair in relationships, then consider dating your fellow men. 🥱🥱🥱

Seun

Re: My Wife Isn't Adding Any Value To My Life by millionboi(m): 10:42pm On Mar 08

Emdi1914:
@op...,See, whether your wife contributes a dim or not,it is really not her business.
You are the man.Even if your wife earns more than you do,her money is her money,you are still to care for your household even without her contributing a dim.

lol....all this genzs and confusion,who told them that if thy woman makes money in Africa her money is for both of them,if it's he should get ready to loose his respect,my prayer always is for God to help me to always provide for my family,the only thing I wouldn't tolerate from any woman is to give me headaches or put me under pressure I will shock you.

1 Like 2 Shares

Re: My Wife Isn't Adding Any Value To My Life by Emdi1914: 10:47pm On Mar 08

millionboi:
lol....all this genzs and confusion,who told them that if thy woman makes money in Africa her money is for both of them,if it's he should get ready to loose his respect,my prayer always is for God to help me to always provide for my family,the only thing I wouldn't tolerate from any woman is to give me headaches or put me under pressure I will shock you.

I mean,as a man, what pleasure or respect will you enjoy if you can't provide for your household? How dat can marriage wan sweet you?

2 Likes

Re: My Wife Isn't Adding Any Value To My Life by Oxygen1998: 10:51pm On Mar 08

So she should be pressing phone, naa question I ask

kestolove95:
Is her choice to work or not..you are her husband go out there and provide for her and the kids nd stop lamenting

Re: My Wife Isn't Adding Any Value To My Life by Emdi1914: 10:51pm On Mar 08

Don't be pained...,the young shall grow.

Re: My Wife Isn't Adding Any Value To My Life by aliscomonaj: 10:53pm On Mar 08

Same issue am facing here. Just be strong and keep doing the ones you can do. Life expectancy in Nigeria is just 70.

Re: My Wife Isn't Adding Any Value To My Life by Twenty8: 10:55pm On Mar 08

kestolove95:
Is her choice to work or not..you are her husband go out there and provide for her and the kids nd stop lamenting

Providing is his choice too, he can just decide to ignore the family.

3 Likes

Re: My Wife Isn't Adding Any Value To My Life by Emeskhalifa(m): 10:59pm On Mar 08

morgstreme:
If you"overthink" on how you are becoming a Billionaire,you won't even notice your wife's not doing anything to add value to anyone or even yourself because you already are value..

Think and act like a Billionaire!

Shey if e think finsh, e no go still need money to pursue the billionaire thinking abi?

You heard someone said to provide basic needs in the house is taking a toll on him, you still dey tell am to think like billionaire. Ok, if hin think finish, help am credit hin aza with 1b naira

5 Likes

Re: My Wife Isn't Adding Any Value To My Life by Emeskhalifa(m): 11:01pm On Mar 08

jimmyolasun:
Most of my married friends I took time to chat with about marriage mostly tell me it isn't worth it except for procreating. Even those that were good friends before getting married to their partners. The recently married one just told me last week he isn't benefiting anything also.

Had this conversation just yesterday with a friend who got married couple of months ago and here is what he said, marriage does not benefit man that much. It benefits the woman and the kids that the man will have. Infact he even said, as a man, reduce the expectation that your children will care for you at old age, coz whatever they do for you as their dad, they'd done times 10 for their mom first

3 Likes 2 Shares

Re: My Wife Isn't Adding Any Value To My Life by Chinny024(f): 11:04pm On Mar 08

2 kids in 3yrs?..
Provide a good nanny oga.
Stress of Motherhood is taking turns to her mental health.

5 Likes

Re: My Wife Isn't Adding Any Value To My Life by gracias124: 11:09pm On Mar 08

Ifyok50:
I guess, that must be in the North, for that's their norm.

yeah

Re: My Wife Isn't Adding Any Value To My Life by Belurved1(m): 11:11pm On Mar 08

Extremely wicked one.

hopeforcharles:
You are a w*cked Soul.
Instead of you to understand the plight of this young man and give a constructive assistance you are heaping the problems on him, In this economy why wount she assist? This issue of laziness is causing a strain in the marriage already and if not handled properly will be come a bigger issue.

Re: My Wife Isn't Adding Any Value To My Life by Riskymarvelous(m): 11:16pm On Mar 08

You even get luck say she no dey cheat on you

Re: My Wife Isn't Adding Any Value To My Life by idonhammer: 11:29pm On Mar 08

Baba double your hustle and leave your innocent wife alone. She is your wife and it is your responsibility to provide for your family. If you continue like this you will end up pushing her into sleeping around with men. The problem here is that you are not making enough money otherwise this wont be an issue. She is a full time housewife. Pls stop pushing her and stop seeing her as a liability

funkmrflexx:
I've been married for 3 years now with 2 kids, I try my best to take care of my family but the economy has become very bad so it's no longer possible to take care of a family of 4 on just 1 income.
When I had money, I setup a business for my wife because I want her to be engaged and also she can support with whatever she has from the business, but after a year the business crumbled with no results to show (she gave many excuses on why she can't continue the business), even after that I've tried engaging her on other endeavors but she's not always serious.

Now she does nothing, she just presses phone and play games all day long, all the responsibilities are on me, basically everything from school fees, feeding, house rent to buying a cube of Maggi.

I've tried talking to her several times but she will pretend to be serious and goes back to default settings, I'm tired and its really talking a tole on me, sometimes I just get angry at her for no reason and I don't even want to come home.

It's not the fact the she's staying home that's the issue, its the fact the she's not showing any effort to try and do something. I'm tired because all the money I make is being used for feeding and running the house, I can't even save or even think about buying properties

3 Likes

Re: My Wife Isn't Adding Any Value To My Life by Wotowotoman: 11:32pm On Mar 08

obinna58:
You marry wahala
You no marry wahala
Looks like adopting seems to be the best

Adopt another man seed? embarassed

Re: My Wife Isn't Adding Any Value To My Life by ZUBY77(m): 11:34pm On Mar 08

verminnel:
Please go take a nap if u have nothing reasonable to opine.,I wont engage you.

Stop wasting your time on a hitter damaged woman. Plenty of them are on Facebook exhibiting their frustrations

5 Likes

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