₦airaland Forum

Emeskhalifa:
Had this conversation just yesterday with a friend who got married couple of months ago and here is what he said, marriage does not benefit man that much. It benefits the woman and the kids that the man will have. Infact he even said, as a man, reduce the expectation that your children will care for you at old age, coz whatever they do for you as their dad, they'd done times 10 for their mom first

morgstreme:
If you"overthink" on how you are becoming a Billionaire,you won't even notice your wife's not doing anything to add value to anyone or even yourself because you already are value..

Think and act like a Billionaire!

APOPTOSIS:
This is an example where you will know that to marry a HARDWORKING single mother is better than what you described above.

This is an example where you will know that an averagely beautiful hardworking woman is far better than an empty slay queen.

This is an example where you will know that any hardworking woman, irrespective of tribe, beauty characteristics or whatever is better than any lazy prettiest woman.

I have always warned people to avoid sit at home ladies. Avoid ladies from poor homes.
I have daughters and will never watch them become Liabilities to their spouses.

Emdi1914:
I mean,as a man, what pleasure or respect will you enjoy if you can't provide for your household? How dat can marriage wan sweet you?

neonly:
This are red flank telling him to cool down we make matters worse
If she can't support make all man dey take care of der self
When women to contribute to d family growth it always easy for them to complain abt everything
My advice is make d guy forcus on him self
Don't come kill yourself for another man child failure
Forcus on yur children and yur self shekina

Chinny024:
2 kids in 3yrs?..
Provide a good nanny oga.
Stress of Motherhood is taking turns to her mental health.

Kobojunkie:
1. You married a woman who had nothing doing and no skills. Then you tried forcing her to become business savvy without her showing before hand that she has necessary skills and temperament for such. And then wonder why it didn't work or why you have yet to, after 2 kids with her, made a business wiz out of her. Essentially, your plan to mold the women into that which is of your dream failed and you are here to blame her for it. 🥱😩

2. She is a wife. She came to you as just a wife and you accepted, married and made her have your kids just as that. But with the economy how pinching your arse, you want to pretend she was supposed to magically transform into more than just the wife your married her as.)😩😩😩

3. She likely showed the same level of effort when you married her too. So what has changed if not you? Why are You desperately trying to blame her for what seems a you problem? 🥱🥱🥱

jaxxy:
in The US the man will leave the home for the woman with no warning and she will automatically be forced to step up and take responsibility.

I'm not lazy so I can't stand a lazy or idle woman who enjoys doing nothing and constantly in redundancy mode. I don't believe in a housewife mentality.

But back to the issue, since we are not in the US but in Nigeria I suggest u leave for a week and leave her to fend for the home... by the time u come back she should have a paradigm shit. Lol

Wotowotoman:
The question I want to ask all of you is this. If you know say woman no dey work and does nothing for a living. Why you go still marry her and then expect her to miraculously find a way to make money to share household bills with una? Na ment? 🤔

Love800:
Lecture her about work and joining you bring income to the family. Do this with love together with firmness, with time she will understand.

CanadaOrBust:
Simple, you made enough to take care of everything. But once situations change, once Tinubu economy hits, she ought shake body

Oisagbai78:
God bless you brotherly! I am in this category and I would never stop talking about it. Married a hard working Single mother. Infact, Iet her as a tailor. She was the only one hustling for herself and her Son before I married her after my divorce. The first wife was a Lazy woman that refused to work too. Na so I quickly took my decision and send her packing. Omo, My beautiful Single mother inside out (Wife) is Very supportive as a tailor. She's so good at sewing. Na January I even bought her an industrial sewing machine. Omo, Janet my wife, Keep being who you are. Ur loyalty to me is top notch and that's Y I will always Love you and respect you. Thank God for my decision.

kestolove95:
Is her choice to work or not..you are her husband go out there and provide for her and the kids nd stop lamenting

CanadaOrBust:
✓ But people ought change when situations change. When there is money you can enjoy chilling at home doing only house work but once "economy" hits you ought shake body

Kobojunkie:
1. You married a woman who had nothing doing and no skills. Then you tried forcing her to become business savvy without her showing before hand that she has necessary skills and temperament for such. And then wonder why it didn't work or why you have yet to, after 2 kids with her, made a business wiz out of her. Essentially, your plan to mold the women into that which is of your dream failed and you are here to blame her for it. 🥱😩

2. She is a wife. She came to you as just a wife and you accepted, married and made her have your kids just as that. But with the economy how pinching your arse, you want to pretend she was supposed to magically transform into more than just the wife your married her as.)😩😩😩

3. She likely showed the same level of effort when you married her too. So what has changed if not you? Why are You desperately trying to blame her for what seems a you problem? 🥱🥱🥱

funkmrflexx:
I've been married for 3 years now with 2 kids, I try my best to take care of my family but the economy has become very bad so it's no longer possible to take care of a family of 4 on just 1 income.
When I had money, I setup a business for my wife because I want her to be engaged and also she can support with whatever she has from the business, but after a year the business crumbled with no results to show (she gave many excuses on why she can't continue the business), even after that I've tried engaging her on other endeavors but she's not always serious.

Now she does nothing, she just presses phone and play games all day long, all the responsibilities are on me, basically everything from school fees, feeding, house rent to buying a cube of Maggi.

I've tried talking to her several times but she will pretend to be serious and goes back to default settings, I'm tired and its really talking a tole on me, sometimes I just get angry at her for no reason and I don't even want to come home.

It's not the fact the she's staying home that's the issue, its the fact the she's not showing any effort to try and do something. I'm tired because all the money I make is being used for feeding and running the house, I can't even save or even think about buying properties

Amotolongbo:
says who? 🧐
A wife should come with a value and add the value to the home, not liability.
The man married a wife, not incurred a loan to be serviced with his hard earned money.

The man still has to be blamed cause this is the kind of attribute he should have noticed in the woman before marrying her. It is very hard seeing an idle spinster becoming an industrious wife.

Kobojunkie:
You want to be able to change the terms of the contract without changing the contract itself? That is what we call fraud. 🥱🥱🥱

If you want a working woman, then marry only a working woman. No go marry jobless woman wey want do housewife come dey complain say she be problem after your ego has revealed your stewpidity to you. 🥱

Wotowotoman:
No. If Tilumbu economy hit, the man suppose double him hustle. If he needs the woman to help, na beg he go dey beg am. No be to call her lazy.

If you want to marry a helper wey go share bills with you, find a woman wey get job or business or craft and marry her with the agreement say una go dey share bills. No go marry one poor jobless woman with no education and skills and tomorrow you go call her lazy woman when you dey struggle to provide. Like say na she beg you to come marry am from her papa house

CanadaOrBust:
✓ I'm not changing anything. We went into it for better or worse, knowing that things could change.
✓ So if husband became sick and could no longer work she should stay at home and starve to death??

baratech:
Spot on..

The guy changed.... Tinubu economy is choking him, he needs help

CanadaOrBust:
✓ The guy could also have become sick or died, so she should stay the same? People change when situations change

Kobojunkie:
"For better for worse" does not give the man power to throw out the terms of the contract signed with the woman. So, your argument does not hold at all. 🥱

2. If a man is no longer meet up with his side of the obligation, the woman is legit expected to consider the marriage contract no longer valid. Men have argued this for the longest, too.🥱

Kobojunkie:
This is nonsense! 🥱🥱

A sick man, no longer able to meet his marital obligation due to illness is not in the same boat as a woman is still very much in compliance with her marriage agreement. 🥱🥱

Op's wife is in compliance with the agreement. Only that OP now wants her to do more than what they both originally agreed to. 🥱🥱

CanadaOrBust:
✓ You are confusing the terms of the contract. Part of the terms of the contract is that either could become incapacitated or experience some other change in circumstances.
✓ If the woman, for whatever reason, has a reduced capacity to take care of house and kids, the man would pick up the slack.
You KNOW I am right

Kobojunkie:
That is your delusion, not reality. 🥱🥱

2. Reality instead is that most women are almost immediately abandoned by their husbands right after it is discovered they are unable to keep up their end of the marital bargain -- free labor and sex being primary. So, stop spitting nonsense! 🥱🥱

CanadaOrBust:
➜Pure nonsense. There are countless men running around because their wives are hospitalized.. There are countless men working and sending money to wives and kids without anything in return whatsoever, not sex or labor, not even holding or hugging their kids

Kobojunkie:
... 🥱🥱🥱

Kobojunkie:
1. You married a woman who had nothing doing and no skills. Then you tried forcing her to become business savvy without her showing before hand that she has necessary skills and temperament for such. And then wonder why it didn't work or why you have yet to, after 2 kids with her, made a business wiz out of her. Essentially, your plan to mold the women into that which is of your dream failed and you are here to blame her for it. 🥱😩

2. She is a wife. She came to you as just a wife and you accepted, married and made her have your kids just as that. But with the economy how pinching your arse, you want to pretend she was supposed to magically transform into more than just the wife your married her as.)😩😩😩

3. She likely showed the same level of effort when you married her too. So what has changed if not you? Why are You desperately trying to blame her for what seems a you problem? 🥱🥱🥱

Ewedegubbler:
No be by force say she must work.
Just calm down and enjoy ur marriage oo