₦airaland Forum

funkmrflexx:
I've been married for 3 years now with 2 kids, I try my best to take care of my family but the economy has become very bad so it's no longer possible to take care of a family of 4 on just 1 income.
When I had money, I setup a business for my wife because I want her to be engaged and also she can support with whatever she has from the business, but after a year the business crumbled with no results to show (she gave many excuses on why she can't continue the business), even after that I've tried engaging her on other endeavors but she's not always serious.

Now she does nothing, she just presses phone and play games all day long, all the responsibilities are on me, basically everything from school fees, feeding, house rent to buying a cube of Maggi.

I've tried talking to her several times but she will pretend to be serious and goes back to default settings, I'm tired and its really talking a tole on me, sometimes I just get angry at her for no reason and I don't even want to come home.

It's not the fact the she's staying home that's the issue, its the fact the she's not showing any effort to try and do something. I'm tired because all the money I make is being used for feeding and running the house, I can't even save or even think about buying properties

Emdi1914:
@op...,See, whether your wife contributes a dim or not,it is really not her business.
You are the man.Even if your wife earns more than you do,her money is her money,you are still to care for your household even without her contributing a dim.

Neddstark:
Some women are naturally lazy and entitled sir and there's nothing eve them can do about it. If he takes your advice, she'll simply find herself a boyfriend to take care of her bills.

Dearlord:
This is my greatest fear, not like I am not ready for marriage or feed a lady for her life time but I have not seen yet that will just be able to add Maggi cube to our soup.
For me that little cube she can add in our soup worth something big to me.

lwisee:
Most women are in this category.
Their husband will set them up and they will watch the business crumble with little or no remorse.

Most women sees marriage and child bearing as life time achievement. Once their husband is a little boxed up, they don't like working or stressing theirselves other than to eat and rear of children. It also depend on their background anyway.
What I noticed over time is that, women that are out of marriage (divorced) or in a failed relationship and widowers seem to be more serious with their lives and businesses than women that are still married.

PissInside:
A whole lot of men are going to marry nonsense in this generation.

No wonder a lot of newly married men are now looking old,depressed and aggressive.

kestolove95:
Is her choice to work or not..you are her husband go out there and provide for her and the kids nd stop lamenting

Wotowotoman:
Ogbeni, dey there dey console yourself

funkmrflexx:
I've been married for 3 years now with 2 kids, I try my best to take care of my family but the economy has become very bad so it's no longer possible to take care of a family of 4 on just 1 income.
When I had money, I setup a business for my wife because I want her to be engaged and also she can support with whatever she has from the business, but after a year the business crumbled with no results to show (she gave many excuses on why she can't continue the business), even after that I've tried engaging her on other endeavors but she's not always serious.

Now she does nothing, she just presses phone and play games all day long, all the responsibilities are on me, basically everything from school fees, feeding, house rent to buying a cube of Maggi.

I've tried talking to her several times but she will pretend to be serious and goes back to default settings, I'm tired and its really talking a tole on me, sometimes I just get angry at her for no reason and I don't even want to come home.

It's not the fact the she's staying home that's the issue, its the fact the she's not showing any effort to try and do something. I'm tired because all the money I make is being used for feeding and running the house, I can't even save or even think about buying properties

kestolove95:
Is her choice to work or not..you are her husband go out there and provide for her and the kids nd stop lamenting

kestolove95:
Is her choice to work or not..you are her husband go out there and provide for her and the kids nd stop lamenting

Kobojunkie:
A helpmate as defined by whom or what? The marriage contract that is signed by the man and woman in question? Or the religious delusions that you specifically operate under? 🥱🥱

2. Marriage as partnership only applies if and only if the couple in question chose to enter into the agreement that is marriage as partners and not as master-slaves, the default traditional option in much of Nigeria. 🥱🥱

3. The woman in question did pull her weight. She had two kids, keeps the home and even tried her hands at business for a while. What exactly are you dead set on blaming on this woman? 🥱🥱

sweerychick:
words of a lazy fella. That's the problem with Naija folks always thinking that it's the sole responsibility of a man to provide. Let me tell you something, in this harsh economic environment it requires two to make it, I don't leave the whole responsibility for my husband alone, I work too, provide for my own basic needs, if my husband wishes to give me fine by me, but I'm there to support him because if I don't work hard too, anything can happen, what if my husband falls sick tomorrow or worse case dies would I still wait for him to provide from the grave. Enough of these nonsense it's a man's duty to provide that's the words of Lazy women.

At Op focus on your kids and rent and bills, start a side hustle stop giving her money let her make her own, if she decides to cheat outside let her suffer the consequences. Man up and don't listen to any fool saying that as a man you must provide everything.

funkmrflexx:
I've been married for 3 years now with 2 kids, I try my best to take care of my family but the economy has become very bad so it's no longer possible to take care of a family of 4 on just 1 income.
When I had money, I setup a business for my wife because I want her to be engaged and also she can support with whatever she has from the business, but after a year the business crumbled with no results to show (she gave many excuses on why she can't continue the business), even after that I've tried engaging her on other endeavors but she's not always serious.

Now she does nothing, she just presses phone and play games all day long, all the responsibilities are on me, basically everything from school fees, feeding, house rent to buying a cube of Maggi.

I've tried talking to her several times but she will pretend to be serious and goes back to default settings, I'm tired and its really talking a tole on me, sometimes I just get angry at her for no reason and I don't even want to come home.

It's not the fact the she's staying home that's the issue, its the fact the she's not showing any effort to try and do something. I'm tired because all the money I make is being used for feeding and running the house, I can't even save or even think about buying properties

kestolove95:
Is her choice to work or not..you are her husband go out there and provide for her and the kids nd stop lamenting

funkmrflexx:
I've been married for 3 years now with 2 kids, I try my best to take care of my family but the economy has become very bad so it's no longer possible to take care of a family of 4 on just 1 income.
When I had money, I setup a business for my wife because I want her to be engaged and also she can support with whatever she has from the business, but after a year the business crumbled with no results to show (she gave many excuses on why she can't continue the business), even after that I've tried engaging her on other endeavors but she's not always serious.


I see you as a lucky man. There are so many hardworking enterprising women and wives who would make more money but she will be using that money not for the benefit of your nuclear family but to her own extended family. Pls ignore her business lapse. Being an house wife is also a work and I wished my wife was like this because I didn’t see all the money she is making benefit my nuclear family at all. In the end I am still the one responsible for everything
Pls keep your marriage. Most of these women that works will never bring one kobo to the family. Your wife being an house wife will be very loyal and submissive to you. She cooks for the family. No house maid. Most of these women that works will still collect housemaid and use their free time to play games. They might not even satisfy you again sexually cos they will claim they are tired from work.

Now she does nothing, she just presses phone and play games all day long, all the responsibilities are on me, basically everything from school fees, feeding, house rent to buying a cube of Maggi.

I've tried talking to her several times but she will pretend to be serious and goes back to default settings, I'm tired and its really talking a tole on me, sometimes I just get angry at her for no reason and I don't even want to come home.

It's not the fact the she's staying home that's the issue, its the fact the she's not showing any effort to try and do something. I'm tired because all the money I make is being used for feeding and running the house, I can't even save or even think about buying properties

funkmrflexx:
I've been married for 3 years now with 2 kids, I try my best to take care of my family but the economy has become very bad so it's no longer possible to take care of a family of 4 on just 1 income.
When I had money, I setup a business for my wife because I want her to be engaged and also she can support with whatever she has from the business, but after a year the business crumbled with no results to show (she gave many excuses on why she can't continue the business), even after that I've tried engaging her on other endeavors but she's not always serious.

Now she does nothing, she just presses phone and play games all day long, all the responsibilities are on me, basically everything from school fees, feeding, house rent to buying a cube of Maggi.

I've tried talking to her several times but she will pretend to be serious and goes back to default settings, I'm tired and its really talking a tole on me, sometimes I just get angry at her for no reason and I don't even want to come home.

It's not the fact the she's staying home that's the issue, its the fact the she's not showing any effort to try and do something. I'm tired because all the money I make is being used for feeding and running the house, I can't even save or even think about buying properties

Wotowotoman:
The question I want to ask all of you is this. If you know say woman no dey work and does nothing for a living. Why you go still marry her and then expect her to miraculously find a way to make money to share household bills with una? Na ment? 🤔

Amotolongbo:
says who? 🧐
A wife should come with a value and add the value to the home, not liability.
The man married a wife, not incurred a loan to be serviced with his hard earned money.

The man still has to be blamed cause this is the kind of attribute he should have noticed in the woman before marrying her. It is very hard seeing an idle spinster becoming an industrious wife.

Stephen0mozzy:
If everything you typed here is true eh, please tell your husband that he won the wife Jackpot. He should literally Worship you 😇.

It's not common to see women to are realistic and also strategic - a hardworking woman is not Just a helpmate for the husband, but a support system for the kids if the inevitable happens as well as a model for independence to her daughters.

Wishing you and your family more grace and blessings ma'am.

carzeem1:
Alot of guys out there are facing your challenges.

Income still walking while family expenses speeding away like Ferrari engine.

The honest truth is combining family, home duties with business/ corporate world will require you to put in place substitutes for all the chores/work she does around the house.

You have to accommodate maid(s)/in-laws to make the transition from house wife to income earner smooth hoping those one don't also come with thier issues. Also, understand that it takes networking, different approach (social media) to succeed in business nowadays because competition is fierce in most business terrain.

Also, if she has not being in the corporate world before marriage, I doubt she can go in now because that sector has prerequisite for the decent jobs unless you will make do with roles like call centres/ receptionist etc.
In all, your best bet is getting her a government job that still gives her ample time for family n starting a new biz small without much of your input.

Any business will she does now will take your time( less time for the kids) and risk your finances again.

Any woman not doing any serious business or job before marriage and child birth is designed to be an housewife. It will take a lot of resources and networking to change that

SIRTee15:
First it's insulting to say your wife added no value to your life. She gave u 2 kids that bears YOUR NAME. THAT PRESERVES YOUR LEGACY.
She just doesn't sit down at home doing nothing, she is raising your kids, keeping the house clean, cooking you good home made meals and satisfying your urge at night at your beckon. That is something and u dont pay her for it, do you?
forcing her to do business when she has no entrepreneurial skills or background history in business acumen shows it's your fault not hers. She may be well adapted to routine desk job rather than commerce. ask her first how she wants to add extra income to the house not just pushing your ways on her.

Finally, whether u like it or not. It's your duty to provide for your home. THAT IS YOUR GOD GIVING RIGHT DUTY AS A MAN TO PROVIDE FOR YOUR HOME OTHERWISE U ARE WORSE THAN AN INFIDEL- NA BIBLE TALK AM.
Being a man isnt about attending to the needs of your testosterone urge or packing 5 shoulders up and down. What makes u a man is your ability to take care of yourself, another man's daughter and your kids.
whatever your wife brings in is just an adjuvant, u are not expected to rely on it.

I think it's high time we really need to change the orientation of our men in southern Nigeria, because I dont understand how u cant feed your family and the next thing that comes to your mind is to blame your wife....instead of u to DOUBLE YOUR HUSTLE AND KEEP GRINDING.

come to uk, south asian men dont even allow their wives to work, yet na dem get property pass even more than africans that both couple work.
Men better learn to work hard, disruptive AI is coming that will wipe out more than half of all jobs in labour market. At that time, a man will even be lucky to get job not to talk a house wife.

Twenty8:
Providing is his choice too, he can just decide to ignore the family.