₦airaland Forum

Dareal90s:
✓ If the man dies now "God forbid", how will she take care of the kids with her unseriousness?

Go out there on the streets of Nigeria to see how well such kids will be taken care of if there man were to kaput.Poverty no be anybody play mate. 🤔🤔

Stop marrying and having babies with poor women who don't already have something going for themselves. Una no go hear! Na to come pose silly scenarios, thinking you are relieved responsibility by such meaninglessness, una go wax strong for. Nonsense! 🥱🥱

funkmrflexx:
I've been married for 3 years now with 2 kids, I try my best to take care of my family but the economy has become very bad so it's no longer possible to take care of a family of 4 on just 1 income.
When I had money, I setup a business for my wife because I want her to be engaged and also she can support with whatever she has from the business, but after a year the business crumbled with no results to show (she gave many excuses on why she can't continue the business), even after that I've tried engaging her on other endeavors but she's not always serious.

Now she does nothing, she just presses phone and play games all day long, all the responsibilities are on me, basically everything from school fees, feeding, house rent to buying a cube of Maggi.

I've tried talking to her several times but she will pretend to be serious and goes back to default settings, I'm tired and its really talking a tole on me, sometimes I just get angry at her for no reason and I don't even want to come home.

It's not the fact the she's staying home that's the issue, its the fact the she's not showing any effort to try and do something. I'm tired because all the money I make is being used for feeding and running the house, I can't even save or even think about buying properties

One question before I’d advise you. Do you support feminism?

Is she educated....it seems she is not

Tell her to get a job or it's over.

sinola:
Is she educated....it seems she is not

It does not matter whether she is educated or not. The moment a man decides to turn an educated woman into a baby making machine and housewife, she loses out as far as her peers and would need a while to get caught up. Imagine that sort of career gap on your own resume. Do you think companies would be lining up to hire you knowing you have two toddlers at home? 🥱🥱

Before signing the marriage papers, make sure you are ready for the consequences of your desires. 🥱🥱

TemmyT002:
Tell her to get a job or it's over.

He can definitely tell her it is over, but that won't change the fact that the blame here is on OP ans not on the woman he wishes into paint in bad light based on his OP. 🥱🥱

My hope is she is wise enough to leave him with the children or at least leave them with his parents then. This is so she can finally go work on herself,band send him child support money until she is able to get herself on her feet to maybe share custody with him. 🥱🥱🥱

Lamasta:
If the man God forbid loses his source of income now you will understand his plight very well

My man,in this life every single thing is a risk,we should always apply risk management in every endeavors of life and we should be ready for the worst.

*Marriage in itself is a risk..., your wife might cheat on you,the children born to you might not be yours e.t.c

As long as a man has a 'head',he doesn't have any excuse not to be able to make money.There are men who are on wheelchair,men who are physically deformed in some way yet they make cool Cash.As long as a man is mentally ok,he doesn't have an excuse not to hustle well.

Kobojunkie:
A helpmate as defined by whom or what? The marriage contract that is signed by the man and woman in question? Or the religious delusions that you specifically operate under? 🥱🥱

2. Marriage as partnership only applies if and only if the couple in question chose to enter into the agreement that is marriage as partners and not as master-slaves, the default traditional option in much of Nigeria. 🥱🥱

3. The woman in question did pull her weight. She had two kids, keeps the home and even tried her hands at business for a while. What exactly are you dead set on blaming on this woman? 🥱🥱

This kobojunkie girl is after my mental health. Can @seun give us a twitter-style mute or block feature.

Try and take things easy at home. I know how frustrating your situation can be, but then you have your kids who are innocent and deserve the they can get in this life.
Try and double your hustle. Some people can be very unlucky and outrightly doing the wrong things or wrongly doing the right it which most often ends in this kind of frustration. Have a sit-down heart-heart talk with her but which ever way it turns out, know it that you own much to your kids' growth and development.
Rejig your hustle. See where and how you can diversify your income.
Pray hard for divine direction and intervention but work much harder.
God will certainly see you through.
Believe me bro, I know how frustrating your experience can be but be sure its not the end of your happiness.
God be with you.

kestolove95:
Is her choice to work or not..you are her husband go out there and provide for her and the kids nd stop lamenting

A wife is a helper.

Bro, the truth is that those genz women does not want to stress themselves nor work at all. A friend invested 20m on her wife and it was liquidated.

funkmrflexx:
I've been married for 3 years now with 2 kids, I try my best to take care of my family but the economy has become very bad so it's no longer possible to take care of a family of 4 on just 1 income.
When I had money, I setup a business for my wife because I want her to be engaged and also she can support with whatever she has from the business, but after a year the business crumbled with no results to show (she gave many excuses on why she can't continue the business), even after that I've tried engaging her on other endeavors but she's not always serious.

Now she does nothing, she just presses phone and play games all day long, all the responsibilities are on me, basically everything from school fees, feeding, house rent to buying a cube of Maggi.

I've tried talking to her several times but she will pretend to be serious and goes back to default settings, I'm tired and its really talking a tole on me, sometimes I just get angry at her for no reason and I don't even want to come home.

It's not the fact the she's staying home that's the issue, its the fact the she's not showing any effort to try and do something. I'm tired because all the money I make is being used for feeding and running the house, I can't even save or even think about buying properties

Emdi1914:
My man,in this life every single thing is a risk,we should always apply risk management in every endeavors of life and we should be ready for the worst.

*Marriage in itself is a risk..., your wife might cheat on you,the children born to you might not be yours e.t.c

As long as a man has a 'head',he doesn't have any excuse not to be able to make money.There are men who are on wheelchair,men who are physically deformed in some way yet they make cool Cash.As long as a man is mentally ok,he doesn't have an excuse not to hustle well.

The man is only concerned about his wife been lazy and idle every other thing you are typing is secondary

Lamasta:
The man is only concerned about his wife been lazy and idle every other thing you are typing is secondary

That man wouldn't tell me that he didn't see the signs when they were courting.Was there no communication between them during courtship?

carzeem1:
Some women don't have the privilege of earning 6 figures. The labour market in Nigeria is very competitive n almost impossible especially for new comers without the necessary networks.

Not defending lazy women however, the situation of declining family income is a crisis that has not gotten any attention and most women are not in well paid employment.
Are we going to say they should stay single till they find a well paying job?
There's no single approach that works for everyone, the single goal of achieving a happy home however they can should be encouraged instead.

I understand what you mean, but all I am saying is that even if you don't have any income as a woman find something and do, you can learn handwork, like me I don't buy clothes for my kids I sew all their clothes, I learnt that in school. When I come back from work I sew clothes my husband even opened a small boutique clothing store for me, I employed seamstresses their, in my company I was the one that got the contract for sewing their silver jubilee anniversary uniforms, you start small small from somewhere, and make useful contacts whether male or female, those that can connect you to bigger circles, not lazy Nigerian women that they only contact they have is gossip partners let me tell you a secret only male counterparts can give you good connections without any mutual benefits.. most Nigerian women have nothing to offer

Emdi1914:
That man wouldn't tell me that he didn't see the signs when they were courting.Was there no communication between them during courtship?

At least the man is making effort to make the wife add value to herself and also the family by establishing business for her which she squandered

Lamasta:
At least the man is making effort to make the wife add value to herself and also the family by establishing business for her which she squandered

I think the main issue here is that the two of them don't suit each other.
There are sit-at-home wives who beg their husbands to allow them go out and be productive but yet the husband doesn't agree,and there are husbands too who are pleading with their working class wives 'to stop working'---The Irony of life

So you can carry pregnancy by yourself?

Adaumunocha:
You minding the selfish man?

Will you give same Advice if it was your brother that came to confined in you about his pains?

Adaumunocha:
Married for 3 years with two kids so its possible that the 2 child still a toddler! You men can be very wicked and selfish plus unreasonable. Did u bring househelp that will bring d kids back from school? U go out in d morning and come back at night and think d woman has it easy with toddlers? Stay away from women if cannot man d fvck Up!!!

Will you give same Advice if it was your brother that came to confined in you about his pains?

Wotowotoman:
No. If Tilumbu economy hit, the man suppose double him hustle. If he needs the woman to help, na beg he go dey beg am. No be to call her lazy.

If you want to marry a helper wey go share bills with you, find a woman wey get job or business or craft and marry her with the agreement say una go dey share bills. No go marry one poor jobless woman with no education and skills and tomorrow you go call her lazy woman when you dey struggle to provide. Like say na she beg you to come marry am from her papa house

in that case na to send her packing, so he can find a sharing type

Kobojunkie:
You want to be able to change the terms of the contract without changing the contract itself? That is what we call fraud. 🥱🥱🥱

If you want a working woman, then marry only a working woman. No go marry jobless woman wey want do housewife come dey complain say she be problem after your ego has revealed your stewpidity to you. 🥱

Did the government Notify you before Making the Cost of Living Higher?

Will your Employee tell you in Advance before FIRING you?

So why wont you need to adjust?

CanadaOrBust:
I'm not changing anything. We went into it for better or worse, knowing that things could change. So if husband became sick and could no longer work she should stay at home and starve to death??

Bro, take the above as a CRY for HELP,
the next thing Might be Extreme when he Cannot cope anymore...(Yielding point and then Breaking point)

Kobojunkie:
"For better for worse" does not give the man power to throw out the terms of the contract signed with the woman. So, your argument does not hold at all. 🥱

2. If a man is no longer meet up with his side of the obligation,[b] the woman is legit expected to consider the marriage contract no longer valid. [/b]Men have argued this for the longest, too.🥱

She should walk away then naa

EDGEof2MORO:
These generation of weak mean are going to be the death of society. This is the first time I am seeing a man complain about providing for his family.

Will you give same Advice if it was your brother that came to confined in you about his pains?

BodyCount:
What other values do you want from someone who gave you two children in three years? Is it not too early?
Don't be a wicked man...

Will you give same Advice if it was your brother that came to confined in you about his pains?

OvertheTop:
Will you give same Advice if it was your brother that came to confined in you about his pains?

his ex gf have curse the OP

Just confirm from his past post on Naira land

See the post here:https://www.nairaland.com/7949749/ex-stalking-me-wife-social

JoeEeL:
You may one day lose that job. Or lose ur health in it.

Then u will come back to read your foolish post

Exactly!!
No Back up = Extreme Suffering for the Entire Family!

OvertheTop:
✓ She should walk away then naa

Who she? 🥱🥱

OvertheTop:
✓ Exactly!!
No Back up = Extreme Suffering for the Entire Family!

The one who made the choice to marry into no-backup situation is op. 🥱🥱

funkmrflexx:
I've been married for 3 years now with 2 kids, I try my best to take care of my family but the economy has become very bad so it's no longer possible to take care of a family of 4 on just 1 income.
When I had money, I setup a business for my wife because I want her to be engaged and also she can support with whatever she has from the business, but after a year the business crumbled with no results to show (she gave many excuses on why she can't continue the business), even after that I've tried engaging her on other endeavors but she's not always serious.

Now she does nothing, she just presses phone and play games all day long, all the responsibilities are on me, basically everything from school fees, feeding, house rent to buying a cube of Maggi.

I've tried talking to her several times but she will pretend to be serious and goes back to default settings, I'm tired and its really talking a tole on me, sometimes I just get angry at her for no reason and I don't even want to come home.

It's not the fact the she's staying home that's the issue, its the fact the she's not showing any effort to try and do something. I'm tired because all the money I make is being used for feeding and running the house, I can't even save or even think about buying properties

I'll advise you to go and apologize your ex gf if not something bad might happen unexpectedly

You're doing well in 2023 but things got worse in 2026 don't you know that's spiritual attack

I'll advise you tell your pastor or Alfa to pray harder on your matter

Wotowotoman:
Ogbeni, the sooner you accept say na peace of mind and a loyal partner be all you need from a marriage, the better for you if you want to live long.

What many of these broke men no dey think when they ask their wives to go out and hustle is that financial Independence for the woman dey bring its own set of problems.

Once the woman goes out and starts making her own money plus caring for the kids wey she born, ogbeni your blood pressure will never be the same again. The woman go realize say that broke man at home is useless and deserves no respect. Trust me when this happens, you may as well pack your bag comot from that house cos even your children go follow their mama to dey insult you as a broke lazy man.

So its better to Die Early due to Financial Pressure.
or you think Financial pressure Doesn't kill?
it Does. and it's Early!