₦airaland Forum

Popular relationship coach and lead pastor of David’s Christian Centre, Kingsley Okonkwo, has sparked a debate on social media after charging men to raise their standards and stop marrying women who are “liabilities.”

In a series of posts shared via his official X (formerly Twitter) handle on Sunday, the cleric argued that the growing lack of interest in marriage among men stems from the perception of the institution as a financial burden rather than a partnership.

He wrote, “Men, it’s high time we start having standards as well. You guys are too used to women who are liabilities, that’s why less and less men desire marriage, they see it as a burden.

“Men set standards like you won’t marry broke women too, that you want a partner and not a dependent, maybe it will make more women work and not see marriage and dating as a poverty alleviation scheme.”

Addressing the religious and social implications of the current trend, Okonkwo described the expectation for men as “unbiblical” and “damaging.”

He noted that while women “brazenly insist on rich men,” men must also “insist on working women who will contribute.”

The cleric did not spare men who intentionally seek out vulnerable partners to exert power, attributing this behaviour to fragile egos.

“Yes, I know some of you men like the needy, hungry and dependent women because it boosts your ego and helps you control women, but it’s doing more harm than good. All humans have value and abilities; let them develop it,” he cautioned.

His posts have since triggered a mix of support and criticism from Nigerians.

Supporting the pastor’s view, a user identified as #digitalbimpe commented, “I can never be a liability to my man. Inasmuch as I want my man to take care of me, I also will take care of my man. To be a man is not easy.”

Similarly, Ibukun Ogunsola, who tweets as #IbukunHQ, noted that if men made it clear they wanted partners, not dependants, “it might push more women to work for themselves rather than rely on dating for financial support.”

However, critics argued that the “provider” role remains a male responsibility, as #blueasake countered, “The man’s responsibility is to provide, lead, and protect… The woman’s role is to birth kids, nurture, comfort and teach. Why then are men so quick to label a woman a liability if she is not co-providing yet?”

Another user, #edolefty, slammed the narrative as a way for men to avoid their responsibilities while still expecting domestic labour.

“If a woman without money is a liability, then a man who needs his wife’s salary to afford marriage is also a liability. What you are preaching isn’t standards, it’s men looking for wives who will split bills and still perform unpaid wife duties,”

ufotunang:
So who is going to marry them ?

ufotunang:
So who is going to marry them ?

shortgun:
Anybody broke shaming Nigerian ladies is not serious with his life.

cyberbro:
But same ladies broke shame men daily and it's seen as a normal thing. A girl who treks wants a guy who drives, they tell you point blank, dem no send you.

What the pastor is saying is simple- men should set standards and stop dating/marrying liabilities in the name of relationship. A broke woman would set you back financially, while a woman who earns her own bread would compliment you. Take it or leave it.

otunbakolawole:
Honestly, women, girls need to do better. Your whole life can't be depend on a guy

saintopus:
https://punchng.com/stop-marrying-broke-women-pastor-okonkwo-tells-men/

nairalanda1:
Marry who God has chosen for you, not who is broke or rich.

Remember, God told Hosea to marry a harlot. Not because he wanted to torment the poor prophet but because he wanted to show the prophet and by extension humanity, how much He would go to redeem sinners.If anything, Hosea becomes more understanding of the nature of God at the end of the book of Hosea. A God that seeks to redeem and save sinners.

Marry the wife or husband who will help you achieve God's will for your life and show you more of God's divine nature. Don't go looking for perfect spouse abeg. And no, that does not mean you must marry a harlot (male and female harlots exist..yes o). Get close to God, know his will for your life. If God says marry someone that is not up to your stats...it is because God has seen something in the woman or man that would help you become the person He (God ) wants you to be...and would help you understand Him more, which would make you an even more effective chrestian.

Pastors too dey chase clout these days. OI

Double0h7:
The one thing most men have going for them is the ability to provide. They are NOT attractive to look at! They’re not emotionally stable, have zero empathy, no morals or integrity, extremely poor hygiene. If they want to put away their wallet there’s work to be done on what they will bring to the table. It sounds good online but what do you bring to the table if provision is taken off the table?

The male loneliness epidemic is growing by the day.