₦airaland Forum

I'll go straight to the point because I respect your time.
I am a 40 year old Nigerian man, settled, responsible, and clear about what I want from life. I have thought deeply about this and I am not writing out of desperation or confusion. This is a deliberate decision.

I want to have a child. I am fully prepared to be present, involved, and financially responsible for that child. I do not take that lightly.

However I am not interested in marriage or cohabitation. Not because I am running from responsibility, but because I have genuinely examined my life and I know that I function best with my independence and my peace. I believe a forced or unhappy home does more damage to a child than an honest, structured arrangement between two mature adults.

What I am looking for is a woman who:
● Wants to be a mother but is not desperate for a husband

● Is independent, stable, and self-aware
Values her own space and privacy as much as I value mine

● Is honest enough to have a real conversation about what she actually wants from life ,not what society expects her to want

● Is open to a respectful, structured co-parenting arrangement where both parties are clear from the start

I will be involved in my child's life consistently. I will provide. I will show up. I just will not be living under the same roof or wearing a ring.

I understand this is not for everyone and I am not trying to convince anyone. If your dream is a church wedding and a husband who comes home every night, I genuinely wish you that, this post is simply not for you.

But if you have ever quietly felt that the traditional script does not fit your personality, your past, or your current reality and you want a child in a honest, pressure-free environment then maybe we have something worth discussing privately.

I am open to a genuine conversation. No games, no time wasting.

Drop a comment or send a DM if this resonates.

Then she becomes a single mother who'll be labeled by NL boys as a bad person when she later desires marriage in the long run.

The OP is at liberty to be a baby papa and would be labeled a "good man" that knows what he wants.


What an irony of the society we live in.

Lol... Them never show you shege. They will agree at first to the co-parenting thing, only to want you for themselves as a husband later through tricks and manipulations. And if you don't bend to it they will do everything possible to make you the enemy and tear the child away from you. Court go likely support them until the child is a bit older. I wish you luck bro make I no spoil your biznezz

Esthered:
Then she becomes a single mother who'll be labeled by NL boys as a bad person when she later desires marriage in the long run.

The OP is at liberty to be a baby papa and would be labeled a "good man" that knows what he wants.


What an irony of the society we live in.

Shows why majority of men do not believe Women have the same brain as men. You can CLEARLY see the options, and ability to CHOOSE. You were given a CHOICE, not forced, coerced, etc. But given the full choice to choose. But no, let me play the victim card. Shame on your education and ability to think.

wisdomkid:
Shows why majority of men do not believe Women have the same brain as men. You can CLEARLY see the options, and ability to CHOOSE. You were given a CHOICE, not forced, coerced, etc. But given the full choice to choose. But no, let me play the victim card. Shame on your education and ability to think.

You're too "wise" to see where I stated her desiring marriage later.

Aren't there reverend fathers who later choose to leave celibacy and get married?

You must insult to prove your point and you call yourself "wisdom.... at least kids aren't classified as wise.

Life is all about choice of destiny!!!!!!!

Awareness is the key to life,

Wish you luck in your journey.

I am genuinely interested in the answer to this OP Question.

Just want to know what women opinions are as a guy.

And atleast I want to know how to identify and what convinces such women to have babies without marriage.

@OP You don't want to cohabit with the woman.. meaning she can be sleeping around after bearing kids for you?
You better think well and know what you're doing.

OP please stay away from my babe Mariangeles

You want to have a child and a long term sexual relationship with a woman you will not married to. As in having continuous unprotected sex with someone not legally and socially committed to you.

HIV, Hepatitis and related STDs are smiling and waiting for you.

mumanex:
I'll go straight to the point because I respect your time.
I am a 40 year old Nigerian man, settled, responsible, and clear about what I want from life. I have thought deeply about this and I am not writing out of desperation or confusion. This is a deliberate decision.

I want to have a child. I am fully prepared to be present, involved, and financially responsible for that child. I do not take that lightly.

However I am not interested in marriage or cohabitation. Not because I am running from responsibility, but because I have genuinely examined my life and I know that I function best with my independence and my peace. I believe a forced or unhappy home does more damage to a child than an honest, structured arrangement between two mature adults.

What I am looking for is a woman who:
● Wants to be a mother but is not desperate for a husband

● Is independent, stable, and self-aware
Values her own space and privacy as much as I value mine

● Is honest enough to have a real conversation about what she actually wants from life ,not what society expects her to want

● Is open to a respectful, structured co-parenting arrangement where both parties are clear from the start

I will be involved in my child's life consistently. I will provide. I will show up. I just will not be living under the same roof or wearing a ring.

I understand this is not for everyone and I am not trying to convince anyone. If your dream is a church wedding and a husband who comes home every night, I genuinely wish you that, this post is simply not for you.

But if you have ever quietly felt that the traditional script does not fit your personality, your past, or your current reality and you want a child in a honest, pressure-free environment then maybe we have something worth discussing privately.

I am open to a genuine conversation. No games, no time wasting.

Drop a comment or send a DM if this resonates.

Properly presented....

kiddaz:
Lol... Them never show you shege. They will agree at first to the co-parenting thing, only to want you for themselves as a husband later through tricks and manipulations. And if you don't bend to it they will do everything possible to make you the enemy and tear the child away from you. Court go likely support them until the child is a bit older. I wish you luck bro make I no spoil your biznezz

Valid points bro, I appreciate the honesty. This is exactly why finding the right person matters more than just finding a willing person. Character screening and a proper legal agreement are non-negotiable for me."

ManknowThyself:
Life is all about choice of destiny!!!!!!!

Awareness is the key to life,

Wish you luck in your journey.

Thank you

Mryacks:
Properly presented....

Thanks