₦airaland Forum

Mrslarissa98:
She was 19 at the time and is now 20 years old. She and her family refused to press charges. They stated that all they wanted was for the truth to come out. They have neither pressed charges nor requested any money from us.

Stephen0mozzy:
Okay, I'll just take down this post if I was you. For a girl to do housemaid z it's because her family is poor, and you'll understand why they don't want to press charges - the poor don't have the law on their hands, and the stigma that will follow their daughter if it comes out that she was assaulted by a .barred stard who should be car straight ed.

But hey, let's focus on your marital vows that he broke, and let's not talk about the 19yr old girl who he has scarred for life - that youn girl is going to have trauma all through her life madam.

Sorry, it's just shameful. You should ask yourself this - what will you feel, if he did this to your younger sister - concerned about saving your marriage or will you demand justice?

Dtruthspeaker:
Guy, you need to be Sharp. The story is Fake!

Stephen0mozzy:
Nonetheless, by submission is to discourage the "I am the victim mentality" which people like this have.

Dtruthspeaker:
Another beautiful scripted store ree created to put men down!!

When will you guys real eyes that women lie too much as they need you to be weak?

That is one of the only ways they can manipulate and control you.
, all these Fighting and attack of your fellow man is exactly what she is looking for.

For when/whilst you all are fighting your fellow man about these shi..s you are distracted and no longer watching women and her moves.

Which is why men always say "i don't know when she did this or that".

As you can see, men have been watching women's every moves so they need to do something that will make you avert your eyes from them so that they can hide and do a change you won't see because of distraction.

This story is not True. I bet you 5k

advanceDNA:
U dodged my question…so I’ll ask again…. is that how he rapes the female in the office, their neighbour, and other women he happens to be close to? This isnt about hypocrisy, because it is not a sexual relationship of consent…it is rape and physical assault ….
yet somehow u are trying to justify and equate the man’s behaviour with innate animalistic sexual response triggered by just being close to a female…. Humans are not beasts in the wild, so saying his wicked behaviour is normal trigger because hes in close proximity to a female is the weirdest shlt i will hear this week.. and the week is still very young

Mrslarissa98:
➜After a few days, we found out that she was staying with her elder sister in another town. We felt some relief knowing she was at least with family. We tried to contact her to ask why she left suddenly, but she would not pick up our calls.
Four months later, she came back to the church and informed our pastor that the reason she left my house was because, according to her, ever since she started living with us, my husband had been making advances toward her. She said she always refused him. She claimed that on the day of the incident, my husband came home and met her in the room while she was dressing, forced himself on her, beat her, and she passed out.
The pastor called us, and the girl repeated this in front of everyone. My husband could not deny it and started begging for forgiveness. I was completely shattered. Although the pastor and his wife counseled us and tried to reconcile us, and my husband has been begging for forgiveness, I am still heartbroken. I am no longer interested in this marriage. I feel anger and pain whenever I look at him.
Now I feel like taking my children and going back to my home country. I cry every day and feel very depressed. I really need advice, please help me.

blesdman:
Don't be hysterical about my observation. I will elucidate by saying it is how feelings develop and being in house. I do not excuse the behavior of the man but only trying to say that excessive closeness is potent trigger of sexual relations. Hence u hear of relationships between doctors and nurses, cases of office wives and office husbands, or choir relationships, pastors and female secretaries, as well as relationships between female secs and their male bosses even when they have wives, rev father's and nuns. I wonder how u are pretending that this is not the case. Self control is key but too much exposure to some environments is capable of destroying it

Hello everyone, I need your advice please.
I am half Nigerian. I am married and currently living in another African country with my husband and our two children. Our first child is 4 years old and the youngest is 9 months old.
I was born and raised in Nigeria to a Nigerian father. When I was 13 years old, my parents divorced. My mother took me, my younger brother, and my elder sister from her previous relationship back to her country. Since we left, I have not seen or spoken to my father. Unfortunately, my mother passed away two years later when I was only 15. Life was very difficult for us because my mother’s family treated us badly, but that is not really what I am looking for advice about, so I will keep the story short.
I got married 5 years ago, and 3 years ago my husband and I relocated to a different African country. We are both involved in business. I run a hair salon while also taking care of my duties as a wife and mother.
When I started my business, my daughter was already 2 years old and attending school, so it was easier to manage both my business and my responsibilities at home. But when I became pregnant with my son, I knew it would not be easy anymore because I would need someone to help take care of him while I worked. I stayed home for about 3 months after he was born, and when I was preparing to return to work, I asked my pastor’s wife to help me find someone to assist me. She had helped other people find help before, and she introduced us to a 19-year-old girl who came to live with us.
At first, everything was going well. She took very good care of my baby. My daughter’s school was close to my shop, so I was the one dropping her off and picking her up. We had planned that the following year we would move her to a school closer to the house so the girl could help with picking her up.
Let me also add that while I was on maternity leave, my husband used to come home around 1 p.m. to eat lunch. But when I returned to work, I asked him not to come home during the day anymore and to start taking food to work instead, which he did.
When my baby was about 5 months old, we left for work as usual. Around 10 a.m., my phone rang. It was my husband saying he was at the hospital with the maid and the baby. I panicked and asked what happened and if my baby was okay. He said the baby was fine, but the maid was the one who was not well.
He told me that he was at work, but he suddenly felt very uneasy, like something was telling him to go home and check on the baby. When he got home, he heard the baby crying inside the room where the maid shared with our daughter. At first, he ignored it, thinking maybe she was changing the baby. But the crying became worse, and he heard a loud bump. He called the maid’s name, but there was no response. When he entered the room, he found her lying on the floor naked, and the baby was next to her crying. He picked up the baby and called the neighbors, who helped cover her and put her in his car. One male neighbor followed them to help with the baby while they went to the hospital.
The girl was unconscious at first, but later she recovered. After she was discharged, I was wondering what could have happened. I asked her if she had any history of seizures or something similar, but she said no. She explained that she could not clearly remember what happened that day. She said that after putting the baby to sleep, she rushed to take a bath, and after coming out of the bathroom she could not remember anything else until she woke up in the hospital.
During the following days, I allowed her to rest as much as possible, and I started taking my baby with me to my shop. It was not easy, but I wanted her to recover.
One day, I came back home and found the house empty. She was nowhere to be found. I panicked and called her number, but it was switched off. I called our pastor’s wife, but she said she had not seen her. She was already aware of what had happened at the hospital. We were all worried and tried to reach her without success. Our pastor’s wife even sent someone to her aunt’s house to check if she was there, but she was not.
After a few days, we found out that she was staying with her elder sister in another town. We felt some relief knowing she was at least with family. We tried to contact her to ask why she left suddenly, but she would not pick up our calls.
Four months later, she came back to the church and informed our pastor that the reason she left my house was because, according to her, ever since she started living with us, my husband had been making advances toward her. She said she always refused him. She claimed that on the day of the incident, my husband came home and met her in the room while she was dressing, forced himself on her, beat her, and she passed out.
The pastor called us, and the girl repeated this in front of everyone. My husband could not deny it and started begging for forgiveness. I was completely shattered. Although the pastor and his wife counseled us and tried to reconcile us, and my husband has been begging for forgiveness, I am still heartbroken. I am no longer interested in this marriage. I feel anger and pain whenever I look at him.
Now I feel like taking my children and going back to my home country. I cry every day and feel very depressed. I really need advice, please help me.

Samantha125:
If I was the girl, I'd have hired an inkabi for your husband together with you for choosing to still stick by him.

The two of you deserve each other.

blesdman:
it is what is. Right from the beginning, male and female do not stay close together otherwise sexual feelings will develop. Denying this fact is hypocrisy. Even for a woman, putting a male help who is always close to the wife, can also lead to catastrophe. The best scenario is for the help to come from the husband's family line or a male help from the wife's family. It is not a self control matter. Closeness almost always leads to sexual feelings. Another way is allowing such external helps to come for a period and not as live-in helps

Mrslarissa98:
She was 19 at the time and is now 20 years old. She and her family refused to press charges. They stated that all they wanted was for the truth to come out. They have neither pressed charges nor requested any money from us.

Gotocourt:
"Inkabi" is a Zulu term primarily meaning a "hitman" or "assassin,"

advanceDNA:
In your own scenario the man is also not in prison??
As in… i am not understanding ..

correctyourself:
You want to copy the Western world! What does your law have for the family upkeep if the bread winner goes to J? Go and amend your construction first. Talk is cheap.

Stephen0mozzy:
A little detour from your heartbreak;
The true victim here, the maid.

Is she a minor?
Is your husband currently in jail?

advanceDNA:
In your own scenario the man is also not in prison??
As in… i am not understanding ..

Pious101:
While I considered what d man has done to be a crime to humanity,

Pious101:
I ever wonder if U re married with d way U re canvassing jail as if it is that easy.

Pious101:
The man should be kept behind bars, I'm absolutely in support of this.

Pious101:
However, d man is a father, a husband and a breadwinner.

Pious101:
These are the factors that would be at play in d mind of d woman that would make her to think twice before reporting the issue to the appropriate authority.

Pious101:
Making these decisions is never easy, so it's not as easy d way U re canvassing it.

Pious101:
U will never know how painful and difficult taking certain decisions until you are faced with circumstances beyond Ur control.

Pious101:
In this scenario, Justice is required by one party, father, friend and husband is required by other parties.

correctyourself:
Here is a true experience.

I heard of similar issues with a family and the matter got to the husband's office and the man was sacked as a result of the issue. Till today the man has not been able to get well paying job and both the wife, man and children are lacking what the family needs for decent life.

Leaving the marriage wouldn't be good for the children.

Lastly, having seen the person whom your husband is, never you keep female house help to avoid similar issues, try and pull the issue over so that it wouldn't affect your thinking