₦airaland Forum

Good day Nairalander,
I will be brief with my story of how I conquered one of the cats that have been terrorizing us for years in our compound. If you like, call it ANIMAL CRUELTY, but if you read to the end, you will know what I have endured for long.
On this beautiful but hot evening, I wanted to go have my shower at the tap outside with the hope to cool my body temperature.
I felt something moved fast towards one edge of the boys quarter, my instinct doesn't deceive me, IT IS ONE OF THOSE UNCULTURED CAT that used to make irritating noise while mating behind our fence. I wouldn't know if they usually come from different places to have their usual DO THE DO at our backyard. I took no offence for them doing that because nature can not be cheated. But the problem is the noise at the wee hour of the night when one is supposed to be deep in sleep.
They will make different kind of Moaning like human and at times cry like a toddler whose biscuit was snatched by his elderly one, I don't know if anyone has had the kind of experience I am trying to narrate here.
But one of them ran into the hands of an angry man who the current situation on ground has made more angrier, like the yoruba will say "Ajá tó yó, kìí bá aiyo seré"
Na so I retreived back to my room to pick up my self defense tool any day (a matchet).
I tip-toed back and lay still in the dark with my touch light on the left hand and my thumb on its switch.
Cats are very sensitive and can see in the dark like tomorrow no dey, but na luck help me kill am this day "Oluwa lo funmi pa* 😁😁😁
Immediately I felt some movement again, my thumb was the first action taker on the switch of my Torchlight, gboa! Light everywhere, the cat's eye self is another version of Torchlight on me. But I summoned courage, it is either you die today or you escape and never come back to this vicinity.
We entered battle, I pursued the 'were' to one end where where it believe is an hiding place but there is no escape route except through where I was standing with my Torchlight beaming at it and it was gazing at me also. Who will make the first move?
I tricked it into believing I am tired, within a twinkle of an eye, I blinked the light by tapping the switch pim pim the mad cat want to run out of its enclave na so I matchetted it like a criminal who is about to steal phone through the window.
But to be sincere, the thing get power, with that one hit, I thought it will be dead, rather it make one hunch back style of defense, and began to make some buzz sound with its mouth and all its claws were sharply released out, na so I woos am the second time before it succumb to weakness and finally third hit made it surrender to alumuntu.

omikel:
Good day Nairalander,
I will be brief with my story of how I conquered one of the cats that have been terrorizing us for years in our compound. On this beautiful but hot evening, I wanted to go have my shower at the tap outside with the hope to cool my body temperature.
I felt something moved fast towards one edge of the boys quarter, my instinct doesn't deceive me, IT IS ONE OF THOSE UNCULTURED CAT that used to make irritating noise while mating behind our fence. I wouldn't know if they usually come from different places to have their usual DO THE DO at our backyard. I took no offence for them doing that because nature can not be cheated. But the problem is the noise at the wee hour of the night when one is supposed to be deep in sleep.
They will make different kind of Moaning like human and at times cry like a toddler whose biscuit was snatched by his elderly one, I don't know if anyone has had the kind of experience I am trying to narrate here.
But one of them ran into the hands of an angry man who the current situation on ground has made more angrier, like the yoruba will say "Ajá tó yó, kìí bá aiyo seré"
Na so I retreived back to my room to pick up my self defense tool any day (a matchet).
I tip-toed back and lay still in the dark with my touch light on the left hand and my thumb on its switch. Cats are very sensitive and can see in the dark like tomorrow no dey, but na luck help me kill am this day "Oluwa lo funmi pa* 😁😁😁
Immediately I heard some movement again, my thumb was the first action taker on the switch of my Torchlight, gboa! Light everywhere, the cat's eye self is another version of Torchlight on me. But I summoned courage, it is either you die today or you escape and never come back to this vicinity.
We entered battle, I pursued the 'were' to one end where there is no escape route except through where I was standing with my Torchlight beaming at it and it was gazing at me also. Who will make the first move?
I tricked it into believing I am tired, within a twinkle of an eye, I blinked the light by tapping the switch pim pim the mad cat want to run out of its enclave na so I matchetted it like a criminal who is about to steal phone through the window.
But to be sincere, the thing get power, with that one hit, I thought it will be dead, rather it make one hunch back style of defense, na so I woos am the second time before it succumb to weakness and finally third hit made it surrender to alumuntu.

Congrat, you just kill somebody grandmother

Better meat
Enjoy ur meal

THE PEPPER SOUP 🍲 JOURNEY BEGAN

I brought out my gas cylinder and lighter.
Turn it on and roast off the fur adequately, in the process of roasting, the cat still want to fight back like a kongfu master as it's forelimbs were curve in that style, but mio fọ.

I kept roasting untill it turns blacky, o jona orun apaadi.

I am updating you gradually

muyico:
Better meat
Enjoy ur meal

Like this?
And I go chop someone's grandma o, chai

Powerbandooo:
Congrat, you just kill somebody grandmother

U no be serious person sir

U get mind kill Tom...

U write easily

🫪

Now, after that, it took its last bath here on earth and it was at this point I discovered it got vitiligoed as a result of excessive heat from the gas. Just look at it in its bath tub, me that wanted to go and bath initially is now bathing something else. O ma se o.
I remembered we were thought something called laceration in Biology practical those days in secondary school, of a truth, no knowledge is waste as I put that into practice here this day. I dissected it symmetrically from neck to anus and carried out some operational procedures carefully like it is been done on human at the theater.

I thought they said cats attack in self-defense? I’m just wondering what you did that made the cat not even have the courage to defend itself. Even after you chased it into a corner it still didn’t respond… Nawa o.



Maybe the kñàckîng got it too exhausted.

Bro na courage I summoned o, you need to hear the VOOOOM sound it was making knowing fully well it has been captured to scare me away

Bahamas95:
I thought they said cats attack in self-defense? I’m just wondering what you did that made the cat not even have the courage to defend itself. Even after you chased it into a corner it still didn’t respond… Nawa o.



Maybe the kñàckîng got it too exhausted.

Cat loving white people will throw a fit.
To them, this is worse than killing a human.

By the way, I am utterly disgusted.😖

The only thing I let go (threw away) was the intestine, I don't have time for latrine and it's content, then the four limbs because I tried roasting it to the core, but they still retains some fur, mi o lee wa wukọ ku. 😁😁😁 (Superstitious anyway).

I separated the ORONRO kinkini to le ba ẹran jẹ from the main thing. Ẹdọ and fuku to one side and baasi ẹran to another side.😁😁😁
Blood plenty wey dey wasted as I carry out the operation.

As long as I didn't kill a human, I feel no guilt within me

Mariangeles:
Cat loving white people will throw a fit.
To them, this is worse than killing a human.

By the way, I am utterly disgusted.😖

The rest was Well washed and arranged in a pot, seasonings added with chopped onions and grated fresh peppers to spice it.

Where the cat head na

Thank you, if Jerry should disturb you the way this Tom have done for me, you won't have any other thinking than to kpai am Sir. Put yourself in my shoes

illicit:
U no be serious person sir

U get mind kill Tom...

🫪

PEPPER SOUP DONE.
After proper boiling like a Pro Chef, the thing done well.

Don't ask me if I eat it o because I no gree give bingo.
First portion to have a taste of it that same night as I was exhausted to the extent that my dinner disappeared from my belly as a result of Chasing, killing, roasting and preparation.
This first portion which is ('ijarajara and ikumuku' sorry if you don't understand that) went down with garri o. (Double Dinner)
Thank you for reading.

Dem dey chop cat
Omo x100

Wait oh... U chop cat? Na hunger we go call dis one or wetin? How u go chop house cat that went wild?

This is disturbing shaa

Who eats house cats? is it even edible? Are u related to the Chinese people?

Werey je olongbo.. oluya

Na wa o!
You just murdered a wild nocturnal cat and ate it just like that?

Well-done OP. You are a MAN. I salute your courage and audacity. 🫡🫡🫡🫡🫡

I heard cat meat is very thick. Is it so?

I'm scared of you honestly.
Eat cat? Is this real or AI?

Poverty is indeed a B-word. Smh.

Omo.. you get mind tho. That's a cat

People dey eat rubbish she

Tueeeeeee

omikel:
Good day Nairalander,
I will be brief with my story of how I conquered one of the cats that have been terrorizing us for years in our compound. If you like, call it ANIMAL CRUELTY, but if you read to the end, you will know what I have endured for long.
On this beautiful but hot evening, I wanted to go have my shower at the tap outside with the hope to cool my body temperature.
I felt something moved fast towards one edge of the boys quarter, my instinct doesn't deceive me, IT IS ONE OF THOSE UNCULTURED CAT that used to make irritating noise while mating behind our fence. I wouldn't know if they usually come from different places to have their usual DO THE DO at our backyard. I took no offence for them doing that because nature can not be cheated. But the problem is the noise at the wee hour of the night when one is supposed to be deep in sleep.
They will make different kind of Moaning like human and at times cry like a toddler whose biscuit was snatched by his elderly one, I don't know if anyone has had the kind of experience I am trying to narrate here.
But one of them ran into the hands of an angry man who the current situation on ground has made more angrier, like the yoruba will say "Ajá tó yó, kìí bá aiyo seré"
Na so I retreived back to my room to pick up my self defense tool any day (a matchet).
I tip-toed back and lay still in the dark with my touch light on the left hand and my thumb on its switch.
Cats are very sensitive and can see in the dark like tomorrow no dey, but na luck help me kill am this day "Oluwa lo funmi pa* 😁😁😁
Immediately I felt some movement again, my thumb was the first action taker on the switch of my Torchlight, gboa! Light everywhere, the cat's eye self is another version of Torchlight on me. But I summoned courage, it is either you die today or you escape and never come back to this vicinity.
We entered battle, I pursued the 'were' to one end where where it believe is an hiding place but there is no escape route except through where I was standing with my Torchlight beaming at it and it was gazing at me also. Who will make the first move?
I tricked it into believing I am tired, within a twinkle of an eye, I blinked the light by tapping the switch pim pim the mad cat want to run out of its enclave na so I matchetted it like a criminal who is about to steal phone through the window.
But to be sincere, the thing get power, with that one hit, I thought it will be dead, rather it make one hunch back style of defense, and began to make some buzz sound with its mouth and all its claws were sharply released out, na so I woos am the second time before it succumb to weakness and finally third hit made it surrender to alumuntu.

It’s early to celebrate!

You might have won us today does not mean you will get the last laugh!

Still had the effrontery to display the body parts of our own.

Trust me, We in this together.

Go run rabies test o before you start to dey meow like cat