₦airaland Forum

A lot of people get this question wrong from the start:

“If he doesn’t provide for me now, how do I know he will provide in marriage?”

The mistake is thinking provision equals spending money on you. It doesn’t.

If you want to understand a man’s capacity to provide, you don’t look at how much he spoils you. You look at how he handles responsibility.

Watch his patterns.

How does he treat his obligations?
Does he support his family when necessary?
Is he responsible with money or reckless with it?

These things reveal more than gifts ever will.

Look at the small moments.

When you go out, does he handle bills with maturity or does he avoid responsibility completely?
If he owes you something, does he make effort to repay, or does he act entitled?

That tells you who he is.

Because a man who is serious about his life will not be throwing money around just to impress. He will be thinking long term. Investing. Building. Planning.

That kind of man may not look flashy now.

But he is laying a foundation.

And here is where many people get it wrong.

They ignore discipline and chase display.

They want proof in the form of expensive gifts, rent payments, or constant spending. Meanwhile, the man who is careful, focused, and building gets overlooked because he is not performing extravagant 'financially' .

But marriage is not performance.
It is responsibility.

A man who cannot manage money wisely before marriage will not magically become better after marriage just because he earns more.

So instead of asking,
“Is he spending on me?”

Ask,
“Is he building something stable?”

Because if you understand that and you align with someone who is disciplined, the future he is working toward will not just benefit him.

It will benefit both of you.

Dpsychologist:
Watch his patterns.

You are talking to the wind.

Alot of Ladies today view men with the patterns you listed as ''broke and stingy''. They want a dirty boxer wearing, rough looking, dredlocked, 24/7 high and intoxicated yahoo boy who can buy them an iphone on the first day they met. To them, if he is able to do that then he can provide and take care of her. They don't want to be a responsible wife to a responsible man. They find such men and such an idea boring. They wish and dream of being a baby mama to a yahoo boy. They find such life exciting.

Dpsychologist:
But marriage is not performance. It is responsibility.

Lol, To most women of today, the responsibility of a man in marriage = 1000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
but the responsibility of a woman in marriage = 0.

Moderator101:
You are talking to the wind.

Alot of Ladies today view men with the patterns you listed as ''broke and stingy''. They want a dirty boxer wearing, rough looking, dredlocked, 24/7 high and intoxicated yahoo boy who can buy them an iphone on the first day they met. To them, if he is able to do that then he can provide and take care of her.

They don't want to be a responsible wife to a responsible man. They find such men and such an idea boring. They wish and dream of being a baby mama to a yahoo boy.

I am well aware of this that is why i created this thread in the first place.

Dpsychologist:
I am well aware of this that is why i created this thread in the first place.

I know sir. My point is ladies in this present generation hate hearing such advice. That is why I started my reply with the sentence: You are talking to the wind