₦airaland Forum

Men are the prize
Men are the prize
Men are the prize

No let them kpain you with heavy responsibilities

franchasng:
I said I am married, my wife earn big but I take care of my family's financial responsibility up to 98% or more.


My wife only spend her income on herself, her family, relatives. I still take care of her own personal needs. This also applies to many of my married friends and family members. I have friends in America too that cater for their family up to 75% despite having a working class wife. It is like a norm for most Igbo men anyway, except the man is seriously struggling financially. We Igbo men derive joy and pride in being the sole provider in our marriage. It could be a bad practice based on today's norms but that's how most of us Igbo men are wired.

not only igbo man,Africa generally.

franchasng:
I said I am married, my wife earn big but I take care of my family's financial responsibility up to 98% or more.


My wife only spend her income on herself, her family, relatives. I still take care of her own personal needs. This also applies to many of my married friends and family members. I have friends in America too that cater for their family up to 75% despite having a working class wife. It is like a norm for most Igbo men anyway, except the man is seriously struggling financially. We Igbo men derive joy and pride in being the sole provider in our marriage. It could be a bad practice based on today's norms but that's how most of us Igbo men are wired.

Sonnobax15:

I love honest bannies like this and I won't mind exchanging my heaven's ticket with her just for her to make heaven on the day of rapture

The painful part is that some of them had the opportunity to learn from the mistakes of others but their love for chopping men's money blindfolded them . Imagine dribbling men during your youth as a woman, forgetting that your youthfulness has limited time . Only for you to end up being tossed around by wayward men when meno-stop finally remembes you

I wonder why Pope Leo hasn't said anything yet about these categories of ladies

Hey!

Some decent great ladies just did not have responsible guys come their way.

Some even remained virgins...

I was raised up among girls. We get them plenty ratio 4 to one boy.

I can tell you for free that once a girl gets to late 20s to early 30s, it's not easy.

All these so-called independent women association are a bunch of liars.

Yes they are become rich and successful which should be encouraged. But mentally and emotionally, e no funny O.

Real men abeg. Come and marry from our side O.

Fine middle aged woman maybe... certainly not 'girl'

it's good so far God has blessed you to do so sir,but please sir invest in your own future as well sir,so that when their is no strength like now,you we not depend on either of them to live,I mean the children,whatever they give we just be plus to urs,I fend for my family as well I just pray I get to ur level of confidence,bcoz job loss can derail someone plan temporary.

franchasng:
I am glad doing that, it's what I cherish, it's what I prayed for and God answered me and made me more than capable to take care of all my family responsibilities with or without my wife's contribution.


She invests for her kids, our kids, that's enough. I don't need her to contribute, she has asked to take up some responsibilities and I told her there is no need for that since I can do it effortlessly, that she should channel her income towards assisting her family that trained her, and investing for her kids for future.


So don't pity me

The obsession some of you have with unmarried women needs to be studied. Even as a single man with a single banny, you are obsessed. A married man who should be focusing on his wife, still obsessed. A married woman who should face her husband, obsessed. Are you people okay in this country at all?

Merry100:
To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering, one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving.

Therefore, to love is to suffer; not to love is to suffer.

To suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. But suffering makes one unhappy.

Therefore, to be happy, one must love, or love to suffer, or suffer from too much happiness.

Please remind me of the philosopher of this quote in that movie. I have forgotten his name.

Kaido:
This thinking is archaic and absurd. No wonder Igbo men die earlier in marriage due to stress.

Marriage is a business partnership. Share both the financial and other responsibilities

Nothing archaic or absurd about that. Rich White and black men in Europe and USA do the same. The key word is RICH.

Do you think a woman married to a billionaire white husband contributes any thing tangible to the housekeep?

All they do is to occasionally buy some healthy groceries with their money to make the husband a nice, healthy dinner. The man pays for every other thing, just like Igbo men do.

franchasng:
I said I am married, my wife earn big but I take care of my family's financial responsibility up to 98% or more.


My wife only spend her income on herself, her family, relatives. I still take care of her own personal needs. This also applies to many of my married friends and family members. I have friends in America too that cater for their family up to 75% despite having a working class wife. It is like a norm for most Igbo men anyway, except the man is seriously struggling financially. We Igbo men derive joy and pride in being the sole provider in our marriage. It could be a bad practice based on today's norms but that's how most of us Igbo men are wired.

If you are wired like that, a good wife who is really your wife and knows that she earns nearly, same or even above your earnings will rewire you...She will not let you suffer

mascot87:
Even as a man, it doesn't look okay to be single at 35 to 40 years not to talk of woman

Why if I may ask? Isn't this just psychological prison due to peer pressure? Marriage isn't age based o. You're only ready when you are.

No one can overly be okay at even 30th not having life partner . Even bible said to and multiply …. Though marriages now a days is by the gravity Gid .The only ways you can be proud as man is to be provide for your family up to 98% even if it’s possible you do 100% . Let’s your consent tell you that you tried as a man .

She gave herself sense and got what she wanted out of life. kudos

SMerchant:
If you are wired like that, a good wife who is really your wife and knows that she earns nearly, same or even above your earnings will rewire you...She will not let you suffer

Suffer ke lol


Go and ask Tinubu if Remi de share feeding and house upkeep money with him even when she was a Senator

olarent:
it's good so far God has blessed you to do so sir,but please sir invest in your own future as well sir,so that when their is no strength like now,you we not depend on either of them to live,I mean the children,whatever they give we just be plus to urs,I fend for my family as well I just pray I get to ur level of confidence,bcoz job loss can derail someone plan temporary.

Na only you made a very great comment out of sincerity of heart and life scenario.


Like you advised my brother, I am the number one advocate of men investing and saving for their retirement so they won't depend on their kids for survival when they are old and weak.


So I can't be preaching that even at Church services and be doing otherwise.


I am already doing that.


Even my son that behave like Whiteman on a black man skin, that one go carry oyimbo lifestyle of everyone on your own for head like gala


All men must plan their future away from these Gen Z children we de born now honestly cos many of them may not even come back to Naija to talk of carrying your financial burden on their head like we do for our parents today even if they end up Billionaires lol


So my brother thanks for your advice. By the grace of God, future is already secured, na good health, long life and protection we de pray for now daily

Stephen0mozzy:
That's why you'll see alot of them in that bracket, COPING online by forming independent feminist, clocking it with their selves to support anyhow behavior of their fellow gender and generally insist that "men are skuum" - because MISERY LOVES COMPANY.

Every human irrespective of status finds a way to cope one way or the other.....even married people who are suffering in the marriage look for coping mechanisms instead of leaving the marriage ..

Isn't the world hell enough..?
Everyone should find their copinh mechanisms abeg, just like Religious zealots who use the promise of mansion amd 72 virgins in the afterlife to escape the problems of earth..

franchasng:
Suffer ke lol


Go and ask Tinubu if Remi de share feeding and house upkeep money with him even when she was a Senator

What I mean by suffer is not that a man won't take full responsibility but a good wife will step in when the need arises and will stock up some things without informing you. You will the one asking or disturbing her to inform you about some needs and she will be doing Shakara onto the fact that she has taken care of some of it.

SMerchant:
What I mean by suffer is not that a man won't take full responsibility but a good wife will step in when the need arises and will stock up some things without informing you. You will the one asking or disturbing her to inform you about some needs and she will be doing Shakara onto the fact that she has taken care of some of it.

I understand you now, she does certain things at her own will, but she has a monthly upkeep fund that goes to the designated account every end of the month from the company's account, so most times I won't know when it's paid, I only see the debit details when reviewing monthly statements, or when she informs me of need for adjustment due to inflation and this will be effected in the designated family expenses account.


She buys me gift a lot unannounced, I am not complaining, it was what I prayed for and wished for right from when I knew what marriage was about, I never liked or fancied the idea of sharing family expenses with my wife even before I got married.


I even hated collecting things from ladies even when I was single and dating....I didn't even fancy women buying me gifts as a single man...so its about my choice and personality anyway

Even children. No dey ok

joseph1832:
Was thinking she would elaborate more about why a single woman isn't okay at age, 35 or 40?

Why a single girl will not be okay at 35 or 40 years is not what one need to be told because such a girl wants to change that word single woman

@franchasng
"I said I am married, my wife earn big but I take care of my family's financial responsibility up to 98% or more.


My wife only spend her income on herself, her family, relatives. I still take care of her own personal needs. This also applies to many of my married friends and family members. I have friends in America too that cater for their family up to 75% despite having a working class wife. It is like a norm for most Igbo men anyway, except the man is seriously struggling financially. We Igbo men derive joy and pride in being the sole provider in our marriage. It could be a bad practice based on today's norms but that's how most of us Igbo men are wired."




There are clear inconsistencies and logical gap in what you are saying.

Contradiction about financial control

“I take care of my family’s financial responsibility up to 98% or more.”

But also says:

“She has a monthly upkeep fund… from the company’s account… I won’t know when it’s paid.”

If you truly handle 98% of finances, it doesn’t make sense that:
-money is going out monthly
-from a company account
-and you don’t know when or how much

So, this claim is false

She spends only on herself

"My wife only spends her income on herself, her family, relatives."

But earlier:

"She contributes via a monthly upkeep fund"

Another lies are:

If she contributes regularly - she’s supporting the household
If she only spends on herself - she isn’t contributing

Both cannot be true at the same time.

I still take care of her personal needs

Contradictions are:

“She earns big”

“She spends on herself”

If she earns well and spends on herself, why would you also be funding her personal needs?

That's a lie

Many more inconsistencies in your submission. All I can see is a braggart minded soul.

franchasng:
I understand you now, she does certain things at her own will, but she has a monthly upkeep fund that goes to the designated account every end of the month from the company's account, so most times I won't know when it's paid, I only see the debit details when reviewing monthly statements, or when she informs me of need for adjustment due to inflation and this will be effected in the designated family expenses account.


She buys me gift a lot unannounced, I am not complaining, it was what I prayed for and wished for right from when I knew what marriage was about, I never liked or fancied the idea of sharing family expenses with my wife even before I got married.


I even hated collecting things from ladies even when I was single and dating....I didn't even fancy women buying me gifts as a single man...so its about my choice and personality anyway

cyberbro:
Why if I may ask? Isn't this just psychological prison due to peer pressure? Marriage isn't age based o. You're only ready when you are.

True but regardless of how we see it based on the kind of society we find ourselves, people are been judged. It's now left for you to send them or not.

As a man self pls marry b4 30 and give birth b4 35
You energy reduce at 45

Menclothing1:
As a man self pls marry b4 30 and give birth b4 35
You energy reduce at 45

The idea behind your submission is:

marry before 30, have kids before 35
is about having strength, time, and flexibility for family life, right? That's true

Things you don't understand is that marriage timing should be influenced by:

career
finances
emotional readiness
personal goals


Timing in life is not one size fits all. Marriage shouldn't be about age alone but readiness, stability and partner choices

franchasng:
I understand you now, she does certain things at her own will, but she has a monthly upkeep fund that goes to the designated account every end of the month from the company's account, so most times I won't know when it's paid, I only see the debit details when reviewing monthly statements, or when she informs me of need for adjustment due to inflation and this will be effected in the designated family expenses account.


She buys me gift a lot unannounced, I am not complaining, it was what I prayed for and wished for right from when I knew what marriage was about, I never liked or fancied the idea of sharing family expenses with my wife even before I got married.


I even hated collecting things from ladies even when I was single and dating....I didn't even fancy women buying me gifts as a single man...so its about my choice and personality anyway

Oh okay

Lawal1555:
@franchasng
"I said I am married, my wife earn big but I take care of my family's financial responsibility up to 98% or more.


My wife only spend her income on herself, her family, relatives. I still take care of her own personal needs. This also applies to many of my married friends and family members. I have friends in America too that cater for their family up to 75% despite having a working class wife. It is like a norm for most Igbo men anyway, except the man is seriously struggling financially. We Igbo men derive joy and pride in being the sole provider in our marriage. It could be a bad practice based on today's norms but that's how most of us Igbo men are wired."




There are clear inconsistencies and logical gap in what you are saying.

Contradiction about financial control

“I take care of my family’s financial responsibility up to 98% or more.”

But also says:

“She has a monthly upkeep fund… from the company’s account… I won’t know when it’s paid.”

If you truly handle 98% of finances, it doesn’t make sense that:
-money is going out monthly
-from a company account
-and you don’t know when or how much

So, this claim is false

She spends only on herself

"My wife only spends her income on herself, her family, relatives."

But earlier:

"She contributes via a monthly upkeep fund"

Another lies are:

If she contributes regularly - she’s supporting the household
If she only spends on herself - she isn’t contributing

Both cannot be true at the same time.

I still take care of her personal needs

Contradictions are:

“She earns big”

“She spends on herself”

If she earns well and spends on herself, why would you also be funding her personal needs?

That's a lie

Many more inconsistencies in your submission. All I can see is a braggart minded soul.

LOL

Since u want explanation, let me do that for you.

I own a small company.

The company have an account designated for paying staff salaries.

From that company's salary account, there is a monthly debit mandate of a certain amount to a joint account with my wife which is meant for catering family expenses except kids school fees. From that account, my wife takes care of family expenses without needing my approval. I only know what happens when I have time and review the account statement, or when she complains of increase in commodity prices due to inflation then I ask her to resubmit new budget she knows would cover the family expenses based on the new price increase in the market. Also, she doesn't even go to the market herself due to work too, but she manages it the way she does with those that assist her.


Sometimes she uses her own money to buy some things for the kids, that was why I put it at 98% cos she does some voluntary contribution which doesn't really matter most times but I think she does it cos she wishes to, I don't really care but I know she does some on her own.


I don't need to brag to you cos I gain nothing my brother, I am telling you what I practice and I prayed for it and God answered me and made me capable. Even when I was single I hate ladies buying me gifts, I hate it. Besides I am not someone that gifts surprises cos I am awkward, what I like you may not see it as important or you may not be able to afford it. I am a car freak, I love luxury cars until of recent that I realized it no longer make sense, maybe as I am getting older and wiser and more informed. I love watches. I love beautiful hot women and a woman cannot gift me those stuffs u see? lol



I personally shop for my wife. I buy every single thing she wears except the ones under lol cos I am not good at them but anything clothes, shoes, sandals, watches, bags, jewelry, car, na me de buy for her. She still buy for herself too as per woman she be, their fashion needs can never be met at once lol. I buy everything my kids wear, to their toys, everything yes. I do a lot of online shopping oh hehe.


My wife knows she is lucky and she always say jokingly that if there is another life after this, that she would want to marry me again and again, and I know I am a rare kind of husband my brother. I no de drink, I no de smoke, I no de party, but I love beautiful hot women, as in those ones weh de fine like Mami iwota lol, but I have learned to also resist and see them as something to just admire and smile lol, my wifey know this side of me very well, so don't pity her lol


I am tried of typing already, though I enjoy discussing with people here cos it keeps me busy when I am free like now, so I am enjoying the convo

mascot87:
True but regardless of how we see it based on the kind of society we find ourselves, people are been judged. It's now left for you to send them or not.

Well, different strokes for different folks. I stopped 'sending' people's opinion long ago cos most people are just talkers and spectators.

Marriage is never something to do based on what people say, human beings must talk no matter what you do.

franchasng:
LOL

Since u want explanation, let me do that for you.

I own a small company.

The company have an account designated for paying staff salaries.

From that company's salary account, there is a monthly debit mandate of a certain amount to a joint account with my wife which is meant for catering family expenses except kids school fees. From that account, my wife takes care of family expenses without needing my approval. I only know what happens when I have time and review the account statement, or when she complains of increase in commodity prices due to inflation then I ask her to resubmit new budget she knows would cover the family expenses based on the new price increase in the market. Also, she doesn't even go to the market herself due to work too, but she manages it the way she does with those that assist her.


Sometimes she uses her own money to buy some things for the kids, that was why I put it at 98% cos she does some voluntary contribution which doesn't really matter most times but I think she does it cos she wishes to, I don't really care but I know she does some on her own.


I don't need to brag to you cos I gain nothing my brother, I am telling you what I practice and I prayed for it and God answered me and made me capable. Even when I was single I hate ladies buying me gifts, I hate it. Besides I am not someone that gifts surprises cos I am awkward, what I like you may not see it as important or you may not be able to afford it. I am a car freak, I love luxury cars until of recent that I realized it no longer make sense, maybe as I am getting older and wiser and more informed. I love watches. I love beautiful hot women and a woman cannot gift me those stuffs u see? lol



I personally ship for my wife. I buy every single thing she wears except the ones under lol cos I am not good at them but anything clothes, shoes, sandals, watches, bags, jewelry, car, na me de buy for her. She still buy for herself too as per woman she be, their fashion needs can never be met at once lol. I buy everything my kids wear, to their toys, everything yes. I do a lot of online shopping oh hehe.


I am tried of typing already, though I enjoy discussing with people here cos it keeps me busy when I am free like now, so I am enjoying the convo

Now I understand that there is a company account from which an automatic monthly transfer is made into a joint account, and this joint account is used for family expenses, with the wife managing the spending from that account.

But there are still some inconsistencies. Earlier, you said your wife only spends on herself, but now you say she sometimes contributes to the kids. Also, saying you handle 98% doesn’t fully match the fact that she manages the household spending and adds money sometimes.

Your 98% submission feels more like ego framing.

franchasng:
I said I am married, my wife earn big but I take care of my family's financial responsibility up to 98% or more.


My wife only spend her income on herself, her family, relatives. I still take care of her own personal needs. This also applies to many of my married friends and family members. I have friends in America too that cater for their family up to 75% despite having a working class wife. It is like a norm for most Igbo men anyway, except the man is seriously struggling financially. We Igbo men derive joy and pride in being the sole provider in our marriage. It could be a bad practice based on today's norms but that's how most of us Igbo men are wired.

That's why many of you die early

Lawal1555:
The idea behind your submission is:

marry before 30, have kids before 35
is about having strength, time, and flexibility for family life, right? That's true

Things you don't know is that Marriage timing should be influenced by:

career
finances
emotional readiness
personal goals


Timing in life is not one size fits all. Marriage shouldn't be about age alone but readiness, stability and partner choices

Very correct but if I am to advice from life experience and scenarios, I would say Nigerian men, pls note I said Nigerian men, should strive to marry between age 30 to 37 at most. 29 can be allowed for guys from rich family background.


As for the ladies, Nigerian ladies oh, I would suggest they marry between age 27 to 36yrs. For those from wealthy family backgrounds, they should marry between 25yrs to 30yrs at most, don't wait until you see someone richer than your dad or as rich as your dad. If he is focused, disciplined, friendly, have human conscience and truly like you, I didn't say love oh, I said likes you, and have something doing, marry him, with your help and his focus, he will definitely end up financially buoyant with time.