₦airaland Forum

And no one is talking about this new trend of men giving woman belle then zoom off.

PerfectStranger:
For this hard economy that instead of helping more men with job roles, na women dey collect am.

If we start employing more men in different job sectors, over 70% of spinsters will get engaged.
Majority of today's 30+ men will not be getting married any time soon or at all, highest na to find one girl give belle, case close

you deserve 1 beer 🍺

Polygamy il solve these problems but no women wants to b a second wife

Marry your gfs.
There is one here always typing banny.
Since 2024 he said he is going to do introduction, this is 2026, he is still calling her my banny. Na unemployment hold that one too? Marry the ones you are dating first.

brightDdon:
You know what,,,
I have to save this,,

there some articles you don't just read and skip,some you read to the end and you deem it fit to save because it's worth reading again..

This article carries wisdom.

I just followed you.

That long boring AI write up is what you are hailing him for? God abeg oh!

Great thread, not just for single ladies but also for single men with numerous situations

Shaketable:
Polygamy il solve these problems but no women wants to b a second wife

Guy shake me. If all Nigerian men married all the women, whocup will reduce to the zero. Churches should encourage men to marry multiple women. After all, it is not a sin and the Abrahams, Isaacs and Jacobs marries multiple women and God didn't frown at it.

Babatunjo:
There’s a group we no dey really talk about… involuntary single ladies.
Truth be say, dating market don change. Plenty options, less clarity, less commitment.

OP shey na this 2 up you CALLED INVOLUNTARY? na sample be this? EKWE!
this ur INVOLUNTARY one gat check e INVENTORY well oo, na MAINTENACE MONEY go WIPE UR DATA

Proserpina:
Chatgpt

Yes it is.

Babatunjo:
There’s a group we no dey really talk about… involuntary single ladies.

Not the unserious type. These ones are fine, educated, stable. You see them everywhere, hospitals, offices, events. Doctors, nurses, professionals. Complete package.

But relationship just no dey stick.

Many of them are actually ready. They’ve tried, dated intentionally, even adjusted expectations small. Yet na same story. They keep meeting guys wey no serious. Promise today, disappear tomorrow. Waste months, sometimes years. Some don’t even know what they want.

At some point, some just settle. Some give up. Some still dey hopeful but tired.

Truth be say, dating market don change. Plenty options, less clarity, less commitment.

almost most jobs now na women dey collect am!
How you come expect men to date strong independent woman

Na them full street dey shout I cannot settle for less

Nobody is even talking about the high spate of sexual immorality. In this immoral generation, given the highly emotional nature of women, a woman in her 30s has a lot of body count and emotional bagagges which she will take out on any man that will marry her. So, any serious man will avoid her.

Secondly, the commercialization of relationship by women and marriage by both women and tradition is another contributory factor. Marriage should be made more affordable.

Thirdly, the ever worsening bad leadership in this country has ruined the economy in terms of high unemployment rate, high cost of doing business, high cost of housing, lack of support for businesses by government institutions etc.

How can they see husband when men are getting opueh from pretty ladies on tinder, codedruns for just $100 USD for the weekend. It is quite disturbing.. short-term every where you go...

Hmmm,God is able

TheStoriesOfMan:
Highest na to give one girl belle.

The struggles of a 35+ year old man living in New Brunswick, juggling two jobs and having to send $5000+ every month as family black tax.

100$ for the weekend . Rich people dey nairaland o

CerebrumOptimus:
How can they see husband when men are getting opueh from pretty ladies on tinder, codedruns for just $100 USD for the weekend. It is quite disturbing.. short-term every where you go...

A great marriage is service oriented.

Men dont want to serve women and women dont want to serve men.

2RightHands1Coc:
100$ for the weekend . Rich people dey nairaland o

What? I dey talk of ladies most people are proposing marriages to. Nack am from Friday till Saturday evening... nor easy o

pocohantas:
Marry your gfs.
There is one here always typing banny.
Since 2024 he said he is going to do introduction, this is 2026, he is still calling her my banny. Na unemployment hold that one too? Marry the ones you are dating first.

You think it's easy to just marry when the other adult thinks you are supposed to feed her because she is a child, the pressures on men is unthinkable. The ones who behave like a wife gets married faster than the one who wants an unemployment in the name of marriage.

Babatunjo:
There’s a group we no dey really talk about… involuntary single ladies.

Not the unserious type. These ones are fine, educated, stable. You see them everywhere, hospitals, offices, events. Doctors, nurses, professionals. Complete package.

But relationship just no dey stick.

Many of them are actually ready. They’ve tried, dated intentionally, even adjusted expectations small. Yet na same story. They keep meeting guys wey no serious. Promise today, disappear tomorrow. Waste months, sometimes years. Some don’t even know what they want.

At some point, some just settle. Some give up. Some still dey hopeful but tired.

Truth be say, dating market don change. Plenty options, less clarity, less commitment.

They price themselves out of the market..I no pity them

Babatunjo:
There’s a group we no dey really talk about… involuntary single ladies.

Not the unserious type. These ones are fine, educated, stable. You see them everywhere, hospitals, offices, events. Doctors, nurses, professionals. Complete package.

But relationship just no dey stick.

Many of them are actually ready. They’ve tried, dated intentionally, even adjusted expectations small. Yet na same story. They keep meeting guys wey no serious. Promise today, disappear tomorrow. Waste months, sometimes years. Some don’t even know what they want.

At some point, some just settle. Some give up. Some still dey hopeful but tired.

Truth be say, dating market don change. Plenty options, less clarity, less commitment.

My view about why they're still a lot of "eligible" involuntary single ladies differ slightly from the reasons you gave.

Why?

1. Most eligible single ladies (beautiful, composed, financially stable and over 34) are EXTREMELY picky when it comes to men they date talk less of settling down with.
They NEVER date down. Head of Human Resources (35 years), Senior Product Manager (36 years), Senior Sales Associate (34 years), Regional Manager (39 years), Executive Director (40 years), MD (40 years), Boutique Owner (37 years), Spa Owner (38 years) etc.will NEVER settle for a man less than their ego. Now the problem that arises is this: most men that meet their requirements are NOT readily available. He's either married, toxic, a hopeless womaniser, abusive, non-commital, fat, short, not handsome or gay (yes, that one dey too!). The married men account for the largest quadrant of the aforementioned.
So you see these pretty ladies asking for love, commitment etc on their bios in dating apps and you wonder why a woman so beautiful is still single. You have the answer now.

2. Unlike what you opined in your post, a lot of these eligible ladies have NOT adjusted their male "entry" requirements. Nope! They maintain their stance in the kind of man they want age notwithstanding. Religion hasn't helped either as the pulpit makes them believe that with faith what happened to just one lady who got married to the man of her dreams via prayers (amongst a population of 20,000 other ladies; do the correlation math) can happen to them. So, they pray on and on and time goes by.

3. Unlike the pervasive view that the older a woman gets the more desperate for a man she becomes thus lowering her standards, the true reality is far from so. This may work for broke, plain Janes. For eligible ladies who know their worth, the older they get the more set in their ways and believe they become; they hardly compromise in their idea of the dream man. In fact, the entry bar gets even higher for men she wants to date and possibly settle down with (ever wondered why you hear more of celibacy as a relationship requirement amongst older ladies- circa late 30s to early 40s than the younger ones?)

I could go and on with other points but the post is getting lengthy. Summarily, "eligible" ladies are still single not for lack of good men out there but for the simple fact that their choice of men are relatively no longer romantically available.

By the time you remove the eligible married men, fat men, short men, Muslim/Christian men (depending on her religion), financially unstable.men (given current standards you should be worth at least 1.5-2Mn net monthly to qualify for these eligible ladies), abusive men, genotype incompatibility, womaniser na wetin remain again? The men don nearly finish na! So you see them struggling for the extremely small percentage of 'eligible' bachelors (handsome, tall, athletic build, financially stable, genotype compatible, smells good, SINGLE, God-fearing, faithful, loves his parents and family hence family oriented, not gay, respectful, commanding presence and ambitious) thus making these guys the prize rather than them.

Note: The points apply to ELIGIBLE (Beautiful, matured, financially stable and organised) spinsters ONLY. A lot of other "ladies" do display the coping mechanism OP stated.

We4all:
That long boring AI write up is what you are hailing him for? God abeg oh!

Even though it's AI, at least he did the prompting hence the acknowledgement

And for me it wasn't boring

Let's learn to appreciate people

Thanks.

PerfectStranger:
For this hard economy that instead of helping more men with job roles, na women dey collect am.

If we start employing more men in different job sectors, over 70% of spinsters will get engaged.
Majority of today's 30+ men will not be getting married any time soon or at all, highest na to find one girl give belle, case close

If you know, you know.

Negroid001:
The Redpill. Men swallowed it. That's what's happening.

If you know, you know.
Most women are not worth it, as they can't appreciate the sacrifices men are expected to make fundamentally.

PerfectStranger:
My point is, employing more women than men won't help matters, coz you don't expect a stingy Nigerian woman to use her money for wedding and all, na men dey run am.
Majority of 30+ men still struggling don't even have marriage on their plans, including me. Highest na to find one babe whine knack her belle, case close

/
Are the men ready and willing to work?

Everyone wants to cash out big and be an influencer with 1m followers in IG overnight. Listen in to the conversation of a group of Nigerian young males--they ain't talking about future jobs. They're either talking about EPL, sure odds or latest yahoo updates.

Nobody has the patience it takes to be successful these days.

/

Las Las everybody go dey okay

The single men can see how the so called serious men who married early are suffering..... Due to the one sided mentality of Nigerian women....
As a man:
I pay for rent... Which is Goin up yearly
I pay school fees... Also Goin up yearly
I feed the family... Also Goin up yearly
I dey execute a project, wit zero support from her....(somtin the whole family will benefit oo).
She will become manipulative If I dnt give her money for hair and her upkeep(even when she earns too but she has been conditioned to think it my responsibility to care for her) .... Saying I dnt know how to care for a wife...
I must also Com back from a 7-7 work and help with the house chores... If I dnt, am not a caring husband...
.... Single guyz sees and hear all these.... They are not willing and ready to commit...

Go check the Stat...most times.... Who dies first.... Nigerian married men or their wives....

When I was a single guy.... My pay was 35k as a graduate, working as an admin officer at a university..... I changed job, got married... My pay is now 250k with 2 kids ....i dey borow money before month ends...

Gues wot, a single guy colleague on same level at my previous job and stil there ... Now earns 100k... But stil single, looks fresh everyday..... Him dey pity us wey rush to marry...

It is just not in Nigeria but in the US too. Some of them go back to Nigeria to look for husband.

ShenTeh:
I've been shouting this since late 2000s when the banks were employing lots of females for marketing etc.

Stand in Adeola Odeku junction in VI from 5pm and see the people driving the fine cars and going home from work. It's the ladies.

Give the men jobs and see how that social issue gets a lift.

Bro is even worse in Abuja here, women be pulling clean cars on the road with good jobs but still single while men are struggling to hop in public taxis.

The women should be humble. The women should see herself has nothing in front of the man, even if she has more money than the man.

Yes, society has changed... But try to ask our parents that have been married for years now how they did it.

Even when you see women drive their cars they do that with so much pride. Who would want to stay with a proud woman?

Simply put, as a standard independent lady if you want to marry, be humble. If you are going out on a date with a man you know doesn't have car, use public transport.

Allow the man to take you to where he wants to, allow him to order food for you ...just be humble....if you want to dress just dress good not too expensive. Don't start wearing popular designer clothing and bags.

The problem women have is that once they are at the top, they see other men as scumbags. Behold, 40yrs will meet you.

Be open to been approached, it's not everywhere you drive to.

Babatunjo:
There’s a group we no dey really talk about… involuntary single ladies.

Not the unserious type. These ones are fine, educated, stable. You see them everywhere, hospitals, offices, events. Doctors, nurses, professionals. Complete package.

But relationship just no dey stick.

Many of them are actually ready. They’ve tried, dated intentionally, even adjusted expectations small. Yet na same story. They keep meeting guys wey no serious. Promise today, disappear tomorrow. Waste months, sometimes years. Some don’t even know what they want.

At some point, some just settle. Some give up. Some still dey hopeful but tired.

Truth be say, dating market don change. Plenty options, less clarity, less commitment.

ExudeLoveToAll:
You think it's easy to just marry when the other adult thinks you are supposed to feed her because she is a child, the pressures on men is unthinkable. The ones who behave like a wife gets married faster than the one who wants an unemployment in the name of marriage.

So what exactly do you want? The ones that can feed themselves, you police their lives and call them unmarriageable. Then marry the ones you will feed let's hear word abeg.

ReacherSaidNoth:
Your own no pass to spam AI replies, very dull individual

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

My stomach hurts from laughing.

essentialone:
You just described a whole demographic that nobody wants to talk about because it makes everyone uncomfortable.

*“Involuntary single ladies”* — fine, educated, stable, ready… but still single. Not by choice. By market failure.

And you’re right: they’re everywhere. Hospitals, banks, law firms, tech companies, church choir, weddings. The complete package with an empty ring finger. And it’s not because “men are intimidated” or “their standards too high”. That’s lazy gist.

*Why it’s happening — the ugly truth about the dating market now*

1. *Too many options, zero filters*
Dating apps + Instagram + LinkedIn = everyone is accessible. So men keep “shopping”. Why commit to 1 great woman when 10 “maybes” are in his DM? He promises today, disappears tomorrow because tomorrow brought a new option. Women do it too, but men drive the ghosting stats.

2. *Serious men marry early, unserious men stay in circulation*
The guys ready for marriage at 28-32 lock down fast. Who’s left in the pool at 33+? Mostly: players, wounded men, perpetual “I’m not ready”, and broke men looking for a sponsor. So these solid women keep dating from a pool that’s already filtered for non-commitment.

3. *Timeline mismatch*
She’s 29-35, educated, stable. She wants kids + marriage in 2-3 years. She dates intentionally. The guy she meets is 35, “still finding himself”, “not under pressure”, wants to “see where it goes”. He can waste 2 years because his biological clock isn’t ticking. Hers is.

4. *She adjusted expectations, but the bar is on the floor*
These women already lowered standards: “Just be God-fearing, have work, and want family”. That’s bare minimum. Yet they still meet men who lie, cheat, can’t communicate, or want her to be mummy + girlfriend + ATM. So “adjusting” doesn’t help when the market is broken.

5. *Strong women get punished, not rewarded*
A doctor/nurse who paid her own bills, has her car, no drama, gets called “too independent” or “masculine”. Meanwhile, the high-maintenance, jobless babe gets chased because she “needs saving”. Some men don’t want a partner. They want a project. So the stable woman gets ignored.

6. *Women don’t approach, men don’t propose*
Culturally, she still can’t say “I like you, let’s date seriously”. She has to wait to be chosen. But the men choosing are unserious. So she’s stuck hoping the right one finds her in traffic.

*What happens to these women?*

You listed it:
*Some settle* – Marry the barely-available guy because “better than nothing”. Resentment later.
*Some give up* – “God when” turns to “God abeg”. Career, travel, cats, God.
*Some still hopeful but tired* – They’re dating but numb. Every new guy feels like another interview that will end in “we’ll see”.

And the worst part? *It’s not their fault.* They did everything “right”. School, career, character, prayer. But the market rewards vibes, not value.

*What the market isn’t saying out loud*

1. *Men are scared of responsibility, not strong women*
Marriage, kids, bills, in-laws — many men in Nigeria are running from that. So they date the stable woman, enjoy her peace, then run when she asks “what are we?” Because she represents adulthood.

2. *Attention is cheaper than commitment*
It costs a man ₦0 to say “you’re wife material” in DM. Costs ₦5M+ to actually marry her. So he distributes free compliments to 20 women and commits to none.

3. *Many women are involuntary single, many men are involuntary unserious*
He’s 38, still in situationships, telling people “good women don finish”. No, bro. You met 4 good women. You wasted 6 months each because you can’t choose.

*So what’s the way forward for these ladies?*

Because “just pray” isn’t a strategy.

1. *Stop dating in the general pool* – If every guy in your DM is 33+ and “not sure”, your pool is contaminated. Meet men through married friends, professional networks, places where commitment is pre-screened. Farmers market vs Night club.

2. *Time-box ruthlessly* – “I’m dating intentionally. In 3 months we should know if this is heading to marriage. If we don’t, I exit.” Say it early. Unserious men will flee. That’s the point.

3. *Stop adjusting, start requiring* – “God-fearing + has job” is not enough. Add: “Can plan a date, communicates daily, introduces me to friends in 2 months, talks about future without sweating”. If he can’t, next.

4. *Date younger if values align* – Many 28-32 year old men are more ready than 38 year olds. Age isn’t maturity. Stop capping yourself at “must be older”.

5. *Consider location arbitrage* – Harsh but true: Nigeria dating market is brutal. Some women find serious men when they relocate to other locations in Nigeria, or even to abroad. Different pond, different fish.

6. *Build life without waiting* – Buy the land, freeze eggs, travel, start business. So you choose marriage from abundance, not desperation. Men can smell desperation and they run.

*What men need to hear too*

If you’re a serious guy reading this: These women are not scarce. They’re just tired of auditioning for clowns. If you meet one and you’re ready:
1. *Say it early* – “I’m looking for a wife, not a vibe.”
2. *Move with clarity* – No “let’s see how it goes” for 1 year.
3. *Match her effort* – She’s stable. Don’t come with chaos.

Because right now, the best women are going single while the worst men stay in rotation. That’s how a society collapses.

*Bottom line:* The dating market don change, yes. Less clarity, less commitment, more options. But options without character = poverty.

These women aren’t “unlucky”. They’re in a rigged game. Solution isn’t “try harder”. Solution is “change the game or change the players”.

mtcheeew