₦airaland Forum

I don't know if it's just my own experience or if it's like that with everyone but my experience trying out online dating for the first time have been very horrible. It was suppose to be a place to find love but no way.

One month ago, I decided to take advantage of technology to see if I can meet a nice lady for a relationship. After doing a little research I decided to try Badoo. With great excitement, i set up my profile, uploaded some of my best pictures,
set my bio, applied filter to set age range of ladies I want 22-28. BAM I saw a huge pool of ladies to select from, omo it felt like I was in heaven.
Little did I know that's the beginning of my trouble.
I started matching with girls, diving into DMs, many girls were liking my profile and sliding into my DM, I was like in 3 days I'll find my future wife. Boy was I wrong.
Then the conversations started.. These are my bitter observations.

1. There is hunger in the land

Vast majority of these girls are on the app to do hookup even though they disguise it with fancy words like "friendship", or "fun" or
"dating", or "networking" etc. Almost all the girls I met say they live in Ikoyi, Lekki, VI, Chevron, Orchid and other
highbrow areas but same girls are always asking for urgent 2k, 5k, data sub etc. These girls are even more broke than girls in the village. Hunger has turned the girls to stone-cold zombies without feeling or fear. Ready to follow anyone ready to spend. I can't count the number of girls begging to come to my house even though they've never met me before.. Even me I became scared on their behalf.

2. Too many young single mothers forming single

I met lots and lots of single moms, some as young as 20 doing HK online. I get turned off when I see these
so called singles only to find out they have kids somewhere with one guy. I even met one with 3 kids for 3 guys. It was horrible.
They're all hustling online of course, not there for love.

3. What you see vs what you get is always different.

You will see a very "fine girl" online, her profile picture looks like she's a model or beauty contestant but when u see
them in real life, they're completely different. Looking haggard and tattered. You'll see a light skinned girl online only to see
black skin girl in reality. I almost hid under a table when one of them walked into the lounge to meet me. I started
insisting on video calls to get a feel of what they really look like instead of relying on their over filtered/makeup pictures and getting rude shock at the meetup point.

4. Even working class ladies are not left out.

I met so many working class ladies on the app doing HK, my phone is full of the lewd pictures and videos they sent me via whatsapp trying to
hustle for my attention. All I just need to do is say yes and they'll land on my door step. Am sure these ladies have boyfriends
somewhere who don't know they're living double lives. Some of the few reasonable ones I met were far from my location to make any kind of
relationship impossible.
No shame anymore.. Some will tell you straight up that they're here for hookup, if you're not interested don't bother chatting them and so on..

Please if you have a good homely lady of your own and you're in a stable relationship just hold her tight because it's brutal out there.

Well I'd say you are fortunate enough to not have met the real girls who are stonecold zombies without feeling or fear. I met one and she tried to lure me into contribution 🤣🤣

Sapamalekun raise to power² bro

Dem plenty for the game, fear who no fear them

TechCapon:
I
Seun
Lalasticlala
mods pls move to front page lets get other opinions

Don't be fooled. Majority of those ladies are recruited by the apps to make you subscribe to some of the app premium features. The girls are paid by the apps per day. I met one of those girls that do such jobs. I tried to get the link of their recruitment agency but she refused to show me all. They call the girls "chatters" - chatting jobs

I laughed here

Almost all the girls I met say they live in Ikoyi, Lekki, VI, Chevron, Orchid and other
highbrow areas but same girls are always asking for urgent 2k, 5k, data sub etc. These girls are even more broke than girls in the village.

You can put lipstick on a pig, still doesn't make it a princess. No disrespect to my original people from anywhere else.

It seems APC has not only grown the poverty economy, they even want to tax it. Remember when Taiwo Oyedele said hookup will pay tax? In 2014, we rebased the GDP to include Nollywood and other things, now you know what we are adding. Hookup. It's ten years + of accumulated mismanagement of the economy and now the seeds they planted as a government is now yielding fruits.

Bros... you no dey alone 😂. Your Badoo story na the same TED Talk millions of Nigerian men don give since 2018.

What you describe is real. Online dating for Nigerian men, especially Lagos axis, has turned to _Wild Wild West_. But make we separate emotion from data so you no go throway pikin with the bathwater.

*Why your experience was brutal – and why it’s not just you*

1. *“Hunger in the land” is facts*
Nigeria economy don humble everybody. ₦2k, ₦5k “urgent” request is the new “hi.” Ikoyi/Lekki bio is packaging. Many of them dey stay for Egbeda but claim Chevron for pricing power. When survival mode enter, “love” becomes luxury. So yes, 70–80% of women on Badoo/Tinder in Lagos are there for transactional reasons. It’s not app, it’s economy.

2. *Single moms everywhere*
Average age of first birth in Nigeria ∼20. No welfare, no child support enforcement. So a 22-yr-old with 2 kids needs to hustle. Dating apps = fastest marketplace. You’re not a bad guy for being turned off; you just have a preference. But understand the pipeline: teen pregnancy → baby daddy japa/run → she enters market. It’s a whole social problem, not “girls these days.”

3. *Catfish vs Reality*
Filters + angles + ring light = different human. This one na global, not Nigeria. But Naija own dey extra because meeting venue fit be risk. That “hide under table” feeling? Every guy knows it. Video call before meetup is now basic survival skill, not paranoia.

4. *Working class ladies doubling as HK*
Salary ₦150k in Lagos cannot carry rent + hair + iPhone + Uber. So “9–5 + 5–9” is real. Many have boyfriend wey be “love,” and clients wey be “business.” Harsh, but that’s the economics. The “reasonable ones far away” part? That’s geography. Lagos is huge. Ajah to Ikorodu is long-distance relationship.

*So is online dating completely useless? No. But your strategy was wrong.*

You went in like supermarket: “I don set filter, make I pick wife in 3 days.” Bros, even Shoprite no dey sell wife.

*Here’s what actually works for guys who eventually found decent women online:*

1. *Change platform + change expectation*
Badoo/Tinder = hookup HQ. If you want relationship, try Hinge, FB Dating, or even Twitter/X, LinkedIn. Smaller pool, but higher “relationship intent.” Better to have 10 serious chats than 200 “urgent 2k” DMs.

2. *Your bio is filtering wrong*
If your pics dey show car, hotel, chain, you’re attracting hustlers. If bio says “God fearing, looking for wife” you attract scammers who mirror that. Use normal pics: you + dog, you + friends, you working. Bio: “Lagos. I like football, amala, and long walks with no billing. If you hate dishonesty, we fit vibe.” You’ll repel 90% of HK, keep 10% real.

3. *Move offline FAST, but verify first*
1 day chat → 5 min voice note → 2 min video call → day meetup in public place. Anyone who refuses video call = catfish or married. Anyone who says “come my house day 1” = either HK or kidnap setup. Both na L.

4. *Pay attention to effort, not beauty*
The fine girl wey dey double-text, ask about your day, and no mention money in week 1? That’s the unicorn. The 10/10 wey say “wyd” then “urgent 2k” in same breath? That’s the 99%. Dating is filtering, not collecting.

5. *Adjust age range + location*
22–28 in Lagos = highest HK density. Try 26–32, Yaba/Surulere/Mainland. Many career women there, less “Lekki baddie” pressure. Or expand to IB, Abeokuta if you fit do distance. Love no dey only for Island.

*Hard truths you need to accept:*

1. *Apps reflect society* – If 60% of Nigerian youth are unemployed/underemployed, dating pool go reflect that. It’s not “girls are bad,” it’s “people are broke.” Guys do the same – “yahoo boy” bio, fake lifestyle.
2. *You are the prize too* – If you’re a decent guy with ₦2k to your name, no criminal record, and job, you’re top 20% already. Act like it. Stop chasing every like. The moment you stop sounding desperate, the HK dem go waka.
3. *Offline still wins* – Church, work, friend’s weddings, volunteering, gym. Ratio of “wife material” to “billing machine” is 10x better offline. Tech is tool, not savior.

*So wetin you go do now?*

1. *Take 30 days break* – You’re jaded. Badoo go make you hate women wey you never meet. Reset.
2. *Define “nice lady” clearly* – Not “fine + Ikoyi.” But: “Has job or skill, no kids or 1 max, lives Mainland, values honesty, we fit gist without money for 2 weeks.” If you don’t know what you want, app go give you what’s available.
3. *Try new hunting ground* – Join mixers, Twitter spaces, alumni groups. Tell friends “I’m seriously looking.” 80% of marriages still come from referrals, not swipes.
4. *If you must stay online* – Pay for Hinge Premium, set deal-breakers: “Has kids: No,” “Smokes: No,” “Looking for: Long-term.” Then be patient. Quality takes 3–6 months, not 3 days.

*Last word:*
Your post is not “bitter.” It’s accurate. Online dating in Nigeria is 20% dating, 80% economic survival simulation. But saying “no way” means you let the HK dem win. There _are_ homely ladies there – nurses doing night shift, teachers, small business owners. They just no dey loud, and they ghost fast when they smell desperation or billing.

Hold your peace, tighten your filter, lower your timeline. Wife no dey Amazon Prime – no 3-day delivery.

AI-laced.
You guys should try to be more intentional and original. Where does Hinge work in Nigeria?
Look, all those asterisks and tildes and underscores makes it very easy to know that it is AI-generated.

essentialone:
Bros... you no dey alone 😂. Your Badoo story na the same TED Talk millions of Nigerian men don give since 2018.

What you describe is real. Online dating for Nigerian men, especially Lagos axis, has turned to _Wild Wild West_. But make we separate emotion from data so you no go throway pikin with the bathwater.

*Why your experience was brutal – and why it’s not just you*

1. *“Hunger in the land” is facts*
Nigeria economy don humble everybody. ₦2k, ₦5k “urgent” request is the new “hi.” Ikoyi/Lekki bio is packaging. Many of them dey stay for Egbeda but claim Chevron for pricing power. When survival mode enter, “love” becomes luxury. So yes, 70–80% of women on Badoo/Tinder in Lagos are there for transactional reasons. It’s not app, it’s economy.

2. *Single moms everywhere*
Average age of first birth in Nigeria ∼20. No welfare, no child support enforcement. So a 22-yr-old with 2 kids needs to hustle. Dating apps = fastest marketplace. You’re not a bad guy for being turned off; you just have a preference. But understand the pipeline: teen pregnancy → baby daddy japa/run → she enters market. It’s a whole social problem, not “girls these days.”

3. *Catfish vs Reality*
Filters + angles + ring light = different human. This one na global, not Nigeria. But Naija own dey extra because meeting venue fit be risk. That “hide under table” feeling? Every guy knows it. Video call before meetup is now basic survival skill, not paranoia.

4. *Working class ladies doubling as HK*
Salary ₦150k in Lagos cannot carry rent + hair + iPhone + Uber. So “9–5 + 5–9” is real. Many have boyfriend wey be “love,” and clients wey be “business.” Harsh, but that’s the economics. The “reasonable ones far away” part? That’s geography. Lagos is huge. Ajah to Ikorodu is long-distance relationship.

*So is online dating completely useless? No. But your strategy was wrong.*

You went in like supermarket: “I don set filter, make I pick wife in 3 days.” Bros, even Shoprite no dey sell wife.

*Here’s what actually works for guys who eventually found decent women online:*

1. *Change platform + change expectation*
Badoo/Tinder = hookup HQ. If you want relationship, try Hinge, FB Dating, or even Twitter/X, LinkedIn. Smaller pool, but higher “relationship intent.” Better to have 10 serious chats than 200 “urgent 2k” DMs.

2. *Your bio is filtering wrong*
If your pics dey show car, hotel, chain, you’re attracting hustlers. If bio says “God fearing, looking for wife” you attract scammers who mirror that. Use normal pics: you + dog, you + friends, you working. Bio: “Lagos. I like football, amala, and long walks with no billing. If you hate dishonesty, we fit vibe.” You’ll repel 90% of HK, keep 10% real.

3. *Move offline FAST, but verify first*
1 day chat → 5 min voice note → 2 min video call → day meetup in public place. Anyone who refuses video call = catfish or married. Anyone who says “come my house day 1” = either HK or kidnap setup. Both na L.

4. *Pay attention to effort, not beauty*
The fine girl wey dey double-text, ask about your day, and no mention money in week 1? That’s the unicorn. The 10/10 wey say “wyd” then “urgent 2k” in same breath? That’s the 99%. Dating is filtering, not collecting.

5. *Adjust age range + location*
22–28 in Lagos = highest HK density. Try 26–32, Yaba/Surulere/Mainland. Many career women there, less “Lekki baddie” pressure. Or expand to IB, Abeokuta if you fit do distance. Love no dey only for Island.

*Hard truths you need to accept:*

1. *Apps reflect society* – If 60% of Nigerian youth are unemployed/underemployed, dating pool go reflect that. It’s not “girls are bad,” it’s “people are broke.” Guys do the same – “yahoo boy” bio, fake lifestyle.
2. *You are the prize too* – If you’re a decent guy with ₦2k to your name, no criminal record, and job, you’re top 20% already. Act like it. Stop chasing every like. The moment you stop sounding desperate, the HK dem go waka.
3. *Offline still wins* – Church, work, friend’s weddings, volunteering, gym. Ratio of “wife material” to “billing machine” is 10x better offline. Tech is tool, not savior.

*So wetin you go do now?*

1. *Take 30 days break* – You’re jaded. Badoo go make you hate women wey you never meet. Reset.
2. *Define “nice lady” clearly* – Not “fine + Ikoyi.” But: “Has job or skill, no kids or 1 max, lives Mainland, values honesty, we fit gist without money for 2 weeks.” If you don’t know what you want, app go give you what’s available.
3. *Try new hunting ground* – Join mixers, Twitter spaces, alumni groups. Tell friends “I’m seriously looking.” 80% of marriages still come from referrals, not swipes.
4. *If you must stay online* – Pay for Hinge Premium, set deal-breakers: “Has kids: No,” “Smokes: No,” “Looking for: Long-term.” Then be patient. Quality takes 3–6 months, not 3 days.

*Last word:*
Your post is not “bitter.” It’s accurate. Online dating in Nigeria is 20% dating, 80% economic survival simulation. But saying “no way” means you let the HK dem win. There _are_ homely ladies there – nurses doing night shift, teachers, small business owners. They just no dey loud, and they ghost fast when they smell desperation or billing.

Hold your peace, tighten your filter, lower your timeline. Wife no dey Amazon Prime – no 3-day delivery.

DrTee1:
AI-laced.
You guys should try to be more intentional and original. Where does Hinge work in Nigeria?
Look, all those asterisks and tildes and underscores makes it very easy to know that it is AI-generated.

In the End did he pass the message? That's what is important

MarketDispatch:
Don't be fooled. Majority of those ladies are recruited by the apps to make you subscribe to some of the app premium features. The girls are paid by the apps per day. I met one of those girls that do such jobs. I tried to get the link of their recruitment agency but she refused to show me all. They call the girls "chatters" - chatting jobs

You know the drill.

TechCapon:
I don't know if it's just my own experience or if it's like that with everyone but my experience trying out online dating for the first time have been very horrible. It was suppose to be a place to find love but no way.

One month ago, I decided to take advantage of technology to see if I can meet a nice lady for a relationship. After doing a little research I decided to try Badoo. With great excitement, i set up my profile, uploaded some of my best pictures,
set my bio, applied filter to set age range of ladies I want 22-28. BAM I saw a huge pool of ladies to select from, omo it felt like I was in heaven.
Little did I know that's the beginning of my trouble.
I started matching with girls, diving into DMs, many girls were liking my profile and sliding into my DM, I was like in 3 days I'll find my future wife. Boy was I wrong.
Then the conversations started.. These are my bitter observations.

1. There is hunger in the land

Vast majority of these girls are on the app to do hookup even though they disguise it with fancy words like "friendship", or "fun" or
"dating", or "networking" etc. Almost all the girls I met say they live in Ikoyi, Lekki, VI, Chevron, Orchid and other
highbrow areas but same girls are always asking for urgent 2k, 5k, data sub etc. These girls are even more broke than girls in the village. Hunger has turned the girls to stone-cold zombies without feeling or fear. Ready to follow anyone ready to spend. I can't count the number of girls begging to come to my house even though they've never met me before.. Even me I became scared on their behalf.

2. Too many young single mothers forming single

I met lots and lots of single moms, some as young as 20 doing HK online. I get turned off when I see these
so called singles only to find out they have kids somewhere with one guy. I even met one with 3 kids for 3 guys. It was horrible.
They're all hustling online of course, not there for love.

3. What you see vs what you get is always different.

You will see a very "fine girl" online, her profile picture looks like she's a model or beauty contestant but when u see
them in real life, they're completely different. Looking haggard and tattered. You'll see a light skinned girl online only to see
black skin girl in reality. I almost hid under a table when one of them walked into the lounge to meet me. I started
insisting on video calls to get a feel of what they really look like instead of relying on their over filtered/makeup pictures and getting rude shock at the meetup point.

4. Even working class ladies are not left out.

I met so many working class ladies on the app doing HK, my phone is full of the lewd pictures and videos they sent me via whatsapp trying to
hustle for my attention. All I just need to do is say yes and they'll land on my door step. Am sure these ladies have boyfriends
somewhere who don't know they're living double lives. Some of the few reasonable ones I met were far from my location to make any kind of
relationship impossible.
No shame anymore.. Some will tell you straight up that they're here for hookup, if you're not interested don't bother chatting them and so on..

Please if you have a good homely lady of your own and you're in a stable relationship just hold her tight because it's brutal out there.

Seun
Lalasticlala
mods pls move to front page lets get other opinions

Make it balanced, also tell us how Nigerian guys like you, and failed Nigerian leaders (men) like Tinubu contributed to whatever our Nigerian ladies have become today.


All these are as a result of failed leadership and government in Nigeria which were headed by Nigerian men.



To be honest, Nigerian men failed Nigerians, both the men and women.


If Nigeria's economy was booming, jobs available, most of our ladies doing what you call hookup or coded runs won't be doing it, they will be busy with their well paid jobs that foot their bills and I can tell you that if Nigerian ladies have a sustainable means of earning legitimate income, Nigerian men will struggle to find a girlfriend to talk of sex mate, it will become a scarce commodity in Nigeria.


So it is failure of Nigerian men in leadership that resulted to every decay we are seeing today in our society.



Nigerian men should stop complaining about ladies all the time and start taking responsibility for the vampires they created.


And I even forgot to mention the Nigerian Yahoo boys that started the trend of using money to turn Nigerian girls into whatever they want. The working class guys who see it as a duty to use their little means to sleep with as many vulnerable and financially disadvantaged girls as they can set their preying eyes on? Nigerian men created the vampires we have in Nigeria today. Nigerian men used corruption, crime, disobedience of rule of law to destroy every fabric of Nigeria. The Nigerian Police who are mostly men refused to do their jobs sincerely and honorably but took their Policing job as a means to make illegitimate money hence, they allowed criminals to get away with crimes hence emboldened more Nigerians to turn to crime knowing fully well that criminals are not punished severely




So as you complain, please find a mirror to look inside as well.


We Nigerian men are not Saints as we do portray ourselves, we have the greater share of the blame of whatever our women and society have become today.

Everything you have said is facts.

But something else to note is when you finally match with girls that appear normal on these dating apps, most are as boring and lifeless as a rock.

Beautiful outward appearance no longer freaks me, if you can't converse and flow like an intelligent human being you're 1/10 in my eyes.

MarketDispatch:
Don't be fooled. Majority of those ladies are recruited by the apps to make you subscribe to some of the app premium features. The girls are paid by the apps per day. I met one of those girls that do such jobs. I tried to get the link of their recruitment agency but she refused to show me all. They call the girls "chatters" - chatting jobs

You met one person and you call that majority? Dating apps do recruit people and even bots to chat, but the number is not even up to 1% not to talk of majority.
Even ladies you meet on the street mostly follow the same pattern - hungry, poor, single mothers, corporate worker but still mostly for hook up, someone else's girlfriend but still ready to get down with you that same day for some money, etc

MarketDispatch:
Don't be fooled. Majority of those ladies are recruited by the apps to make you subscribe to some of the app premium features. The girls are paid by the apps per day. I met one of those girls that do such jobs. I tried to get the link of their recruitment agency but she refused to show me all. They call the girls "chatters" - chatting jobs

established apps like Badoo don't do such. Maybe those unknown apps

The10G:
Well I'd say you are fortunate enough to not have met the real girls who are stonecold zombies without feeling or fear. I met one and she tried to lure me into contribution 🤣🤣

LOL I've blocked over 50 girls since I joined the app and I'll continue blocking until I find the right one

even though you used chatGPT you still passed some good message. Offline wins but online makes it easier

essentialone:
Bros... you no dey alone 😂. Your Badoo story na the same TED Talk millions of Nigerian men don give since 2018.

What you describe is real. Online dating for Nigerian men, especially Lagos axis, has turned to _Wild Wild West_. But make we separate emotion from data so you no go throway pikin with the bathwater.

*Why your experience was brutal – and why it’s not just you*

1. *“Hunger in the land” is facts*
Nigeria economy don humble everybody. ₦2k, ₦5k “urgent” request is the new “hi.” Ikoyi/Lekki bio is packaging. Many of them dey stay for Egbeda but claim Chevron for pricing power. When survival mode enter, “love” becomes luxury. So yes, 70–80% of women on Badoo/Tinder in Lagos are there for transactional reasons. It’s not app, it’s economy.

2. *Single moms everywhere*
Average age of first birth in Nigeria ∼20. No welfare, no child support enforcement. So a 22-yr-old with 2 kids needs to hustle. Dating apps = fastest marketplace. You’re not a bad guy for being turned off; you just have a preference. But understand the pipeline: teen pregnancy → baby daddy japa/run → she enters market. It’s a whole social problem, not “girls these days.”

3. *Catfish vs Reality*
Filters + angles + ring light = different human. This one na global, not Nigeria. But Naija own dey extra because meeting venue fit be risk. That “hide under table” feeling? Every guy knows it. Video call before meetup is now basic survival skill, not paranoia.

4. *Working class ladies doubling as HK*
Salary ₦150k in Lagos cannot carry rent + hair + iPhone + Uber. So “9–5 + 5–9” is real. Many have boyfriend wey be “love,” and clients wey be “business.” Harsh, but that’s the economics. The “reasonable ones far away” part? That’s geography. Lagos is huge. Ajah to Ikorodu is long-distance relationship.

*So is online dating completely useless? No. But your strategy was wrong.*

You went in like supermarket: “I don set filter, make I pick wife in 3 days.” Bros, even Shoprite no dey sell wife.

*Here’s what actually works for guys who eventually found decent women online:*

1. *Change platform + change expectation*
Badoo/Tinder = hookup HQ. If you want relationship, try Hinge, FB Dating, or even Twitter/X, LinkedIn. Smaller pool, but higher “relationship intent.” Better to have 10 serious chats than 200 “urgent 2k” DMs.

2. *Your bio is filtering wrong*
If your pics dey show car, hotel, chain, you’re attracting hustlers. If bio says “God fearing, looking for wife” you attract scammers who mirror that. Use normal pics: you + dog, you + friends, you working. Bio: “Lagos. I like football, amala, and long walks with no billing. If you hate dishonesty, we fit vibe.” You’ll repel 90% of HK, keep 10% real.

3. *Move offline FAST, but verify first*
1 day chat → 5 min voice note → 2 min video call → day meetup in public place. Anyone who refuses video call = catfish or married. Anyone who says “come my house day 1” = either HK or kidnap setup. Both na L.

4. *Pay attention to effort, not beauty*
The fine girl wey dey double-text, ask about your day, and no mention money in week 1? That’s the unicorn. The 10/10 wey say “wyd” then “urgent 2k” in same breath? That’s the 99%. Dating is filtering, not collecting.

5. *Adjust age range + location*
22–28 in Lagos = highest HK density. Try 26–32, Yaba/Surulere/Mainland. Many career women there, less “Lekki baddie” pressure. Or expand to IB, Abeokuta if you fit do distance. Love no dey only for Island.

*Hard truths you need to accept:*

1. *Apps reflect society* – If 60% of Nigerian youth are unemployed/underemployed, dating pool go reflect that. It’s not “girls are bad,” it’s “people are broke.” Guys do the same – “yahoo boy” bio, fake lifestyle.
2. *You are the prize too* – If you’re a decent guy with ₦2k to your name, no criminal record, and job, you’re top 20% already. Act like it. Stop chasing every like. The moment you stop sounding desperate, the HK dem go waka.
3. *Offline still wins* – Church, work, friend’s weddings, volunteering, gym. Ratio of “wife material” to “billing machine” is 10x better offline. Tech is tool, not savior.

*So wetin you go do now?*

1. *Take 30 days break* – You’re jaded. Badoo go make you hate women wey you never meet. Reset.
2. *Define “nice lady” clearly* – Not “fine + Ikoyi.” But: “Has job or skill, no kids or 1 max, lives Mainland, values honesty, we fit gist without money for 2 weeks.” If you don’t know what you want, app go give you what’s available.
3. *Try new hunting ground* – Join mixers, Twitter spaces, alumni groups. Tell friends “I’m seriously looking.” 80% of marriages still come from referrals, not swipes.
4. *If you must stay online* – Pay for Hinge Premium, set deal-breakers: “Has kids: No,” “Smokes: No,” “Looking for: Long-term.” Then be patient. Quality takes 3–6 months, not 3 days.

*Last word:*
Your post is not “bitter.” It’s accurate. Online dating in Nigeria is 20% dating, 80% economic survival simulation. But saying “no way” means you let the HK dem win. There _are_ homely ladies there – nurses doing night shift, teachers, small business owners. They just no dey loud, and they ghost fast when they smell desperation or billing.

Hold your peace, tighten your filter, lower your timeline. Wife no dey Amazon Prime – no 3-day delivery.

Lastpharoah33:
You know the drill.

If apps are actually doing that, they should know its not sustainable because people will cancel subscription if they don't get value for it. I use Badoo free subscription. The major thing is to collect their whatsapp number and move the conversation there. Anyone that refuse to move to whatsapp gets blocked instantly

ReacherSaidNoth:
Everything you have said is facts.

But something else to note is when you finally match with girls that appear normal on these dating apps, most are as boring and lifeless as a rock.

Beautiful outward appearance no longer freaks me, if you can't converse and flow like an intelligent human being you're 1/10 in my eyes.

you're right. they're boring as hell, no real connection or conversation

franchasng:
Make it balanced, also tell us how Nigerian guys like you, and failed Nigerian leaders (men) like Tinubu contributed to whatever our Nigerian ladies have become today.


All these are as a result of failed leadership and government in Nigeria which we're headed by men.



To be honest, Nigerian men failed Nigerians, both the men and women.


If Nigeria's economy was booming, jobs available, most of our ladies doing what you call hookup or coded runs won't be doing it, they will be busy with their well paid jobs that foot their bills and I can tell you that if Nigerians ladies have a sustainable means of earning legitimate income, Nigerian men will struggle to find a girlfriend to talk of sex mate, it will become a scarce commodity in Nigeria.


So it is failure of Nigerian men in leadership that resulted to every decay we are seeing today in our society.



Nigerian men should stop complaining about ladies all the time and start taking responsibility for the vampires they created.


And I even forgot to mention the Nigerian Yahoo boys that started the trend of using money to turn Nigerian girls into whatever they want. The working class guys who see it as a duty to use their little means to sleep with as many vulnerable and financially disadvantaged girls as they can set their preying eyes on? Nigerian men created the vampires we have in Nigeria today. Nigerian men used corruption, crime, disobedience of rule of law to destroy every fabric of Nigeria. The Nigerian Police who are mostly men refused to do their jobs sincerely and honorably but took their Policing job as a means to make illegitimate money hence, they allowed criminals to get away with crimes hence emboldened more Nigerians to turn to crime knowing fully well that criminals are not punished severely




So as you complain, please find a mirror to look inside as well.


We Nigerian men are not Saints as we do portray ourselves, we have the greater share of the blame of whatever our women and society have become today.

that was then. How many yahoo boys are spending crazy money nowadays on women?

TechCapon:
If apps are actually doing that, they should know its not sustainable because people will cancel subscription if they don't get value for it. I use Badoo free subscription. The major thing is to collect their whatsapp number and move the conversation there. Anyone that refuse to move to whatsapp gets blocked instantly

Another way around it!

franchasng:
Make it balanced, also tell us how Nigerian guys like you, and failed Nigerian leaders (men) like Tinubu contributed to whatever our Nigerian ladies have become today.


All these are as a result of failed leadership and government in Nigeria which we're headed by men.



To be honest, Nigerian men failed Nigerians, both the men and women.


If Nigeria's economy was booming, jobs available, most of our ladies doing what you call hookup or coded runs won't be doing it, they will be busy with their well paid jobs that foot their bills and I can tell you that if Nigerians ladies have a sustainable means of earning legitimate income, Nigerian men will struggle to find a girlfriend to talk of sex mate, it will become a scarce commodity in Nigeria.


So it is failure of Nigerian men in leadership that resulted to every decay we are seeing today in our society.



Nigerian men should stop complaining about ladies all the time and start taking responsibility for the vampires they created.


And I even forgot to mention the Nigerian Yahoo boys that started the trend of using money to turn Nigerian girls into whatever they want. The working class guys who see it as a duty to use their little means to sleep with as many vulnerable and financially disadvantaged girls as they can set their preying eyes on? Nigerian men created the vampires we have in Nigeria today. Nigerian men used corruption, crime, disobedience of rule of law to destroy every fabric of Nigeria. The Nigerian Police who are mostly men refused to do their jobs sincerely and honorably but took their Policing job as a means to make illegitimate money hence, they allowed criminals to get away with crimes hence emboldened more Nigerians to turn to crime knowing fully well that criminals are not punished severely




So as you complain, please find a mirror to look inside as well.


We Nigerian men are not Saints as we do portray ourselves, we have the greater share of the blame of whatever our women and society have become today.

A bitter pill to swallow.

Always shifting blames, they're ( today's women) the monster we made.

I agree with ur analysis, there is one like that my in law was on (we were roommates for a year because I was working around that lekki side and needed somewhere to stay). That dude slept with a lot of ladies from that app (can't remember the name but it is becoming popular too). He slept with single mother, the one with bf and many more and after he is done he blocks them. Sometimes I wonder how people find wife online.

R2bees2:
In the End did he pass the message? That's what is important

It can be quite difficult for people who cheated through school to understand why public commentary and positions should be original and not to rely lazily on LLM AI deliveries.

DrTee1:
AI-laced.
You guys should try to be more intentional and original. Where does Hinge work in Nigeria?
Look, all those asterisks and tildes and underscores makes it very easy to know that it is AI-generated.

I do not care where the asterisks are or it's source. Simple question: Did you learn anything new from it? If Yes, appreciate it or get lost.

Apart from blogging and youtube, every other thing online in nigeria is scam.

DrTee1:
It can be quite difficult for people who cheated through school to understand why public commentary and positions should be original and not to rely lazily on LLM AI deliveries.

Keep on crying over what you can't stop. You will only give yourself high BP at the end of the day. Who cares what you think? This is not a classroom or your Research Thesis, so plagiarism is out of it. Social media is a platform of information. I don't care if the source is from AI or from under your grandmother's thing.

Get lost, and get a life.

Nairaland moderators/ Seun, pls do something about this dull entity essentialone who is always spamming topics with AI replies.

If it continues, you're only going to encourage other not so bright people to hide behind AI and ruin the authenticity of the forum.

Dating site is a bubble. It doesn’t represent the street or the average girl.

Also lots of people do not delete their profiles after leaving, which gives the illusion that lots of people are there. Dating sites also have lots of fake female account, just to keep men hooked.

Also due to its free and low barrier to entry/registration, it will attract the scummiest and fake people. Especially when your profile pictures is the sole determinant if you’ll deserve a right swipe.

Also if it’s tinder, bumble or hinge, it doesn’t count. Those sites are the 304 factory. Paid dating platform will always yield better result.

Lastly, easy with the blame on ladies. They are just satisfying the demand of men’s sexual needs.

TechCapon:
I don't know if it's just my own experience or if it's like that with everyone but my experience trying out online dating for the first time have been very horrible. It was suppose to be a place to find love but no way.

One month ago, I decided to take advantage of technology to see if I can meet a nice lady for a relationship. After doing a little research I decided to try Badoo. With great excitement, i set up my profile, uploaded some of my best pictures,
set my bio, applied filter to set age range of ladies I want 22-28. BAM I saw a huge pool of ladies to select from, omo it felt like I was in heaven.
Little did I know that's the beginning of my trouble.
I started matching with girls, diving into DMs, many girls were liking my profile and sliding into my DM, I was like in 3 days I'll find my future wife. Boy was I wrong.
Then the conversations started.. These are my bitter observations.

1. There is hunger in the land

Vast majority of these girls are on the app to do hookup even though they disguise it with fancy words like "friendship", or "fun" or
"dating", or "networking" etc. Almost all the girls I met say they live in Ikoyi, Lekki, VI, Chevron, Orchid and other
highbrow areas but same girls are always asking for urgent 2k, 5k, data sub etc. These girls are even more broke than girls in the village. Hunger has turned the girls to stone-cold zombies without feeling or fear. Ready to follow anyone ready to spend. I can't count the number of girls begging to come to my house even though they've never met me before.. Even me I became scared on their behalf.

2. Too many young single mothers forming single

I met lots and lots of single moms, some as young as 20 doing HK online. I get turned off when I see these
so called singles only to find out they have kids somewhere with one guy. I even met one with 3 kids for 3 guys. It was horrible.
They're all hustling online of course, not there for love.

3. What you see vs what you get is always different.

You will see a very "fine girl" online, her profile picture looks like she's a model or beauty contestant but when u see
them in real life, they're completely different. Looking haggard and tattered. You'll see a light skinned girl online only to see
black skin girl in reality. I almost hid under a table when one of them walked into the lounge to meet me. I started
insisting on video calls to get a feel of what they really look like instead of relying on their over filtered/makeup pictures and getting rude shock at the meetup point.

4. Even working class ladies are not left out.

I met so many working class ladies on the app doing HK, my phone is full of the lewd pictures and videos they sent me via whatsapp trying to
hustle for my attention. All I just need to do is say yes and they'll land on my door step. Am sure these ladies have boyfriends
somewhere who don't know they're living double lives. Some of the few reasonable ones I met were far from my location to make any kind of
relationship impossible.
No shame anymore.. Some will tell you straight up that they're here for hookup, if you're not interested don't bother chatting them and so on..

Please if you have a good homely lady of your own and you're in a stable relationship just hold her tight because it's brutal out there.

Seun
Lalasticlala
mods pls move to front page lets get other opinions

most of them are young yahoo boiz toooo

DONFASZY:
most of them are young yahoo boiz toooo

nah not really. Some of them yes. Badoo does verification where u have to upload picture posing a certain way. I also do video calls so its hard for yahoo boys to scam someone unless the person is a complete mugu.

Return to cold approaches then. Those content with online dating see no wrong.

TechCapon:
I don't know if it's just my own experience or if it's like that with everyone but my experience trying out online dating for the first time have been very horrible. It was suppose to be a place to find love but no way.

One month ago, I decided to take advantage of technology to see if I can meet a nice lady for a relationship. After doing a little research I decided to try Badoo. With great excitement, i set up my profile, uploaded some of my best pictures,
set my bio, applied filter to set age range of ladies I want 22-28. BAM I saw a huge pool of ladies to select from, omo it felt like I was in heaven.
Little did I know that's the beginning of my trouble.
I started matching with girls, diving into DMs, many girls were liking my profile and sliding into my DM, I was like in 3 days I'll find my future wife. Boy was I wrong.
Then the conversations started.. These are my bitter observations.

1. There is hunger in the land

Vast majority of these girls are on the app to do hookup even though they disguise it with fancy words like "friendship", or "fun" or
"dating", or "networking" etc. Almost all the girls I met say they live in Ikoyi, Lekki, VI, Chevron, Orchid and other
highbrow areas but same girls are always asking for urgent 2k, 5k, data sub etc. These girls are even more broke than girls in the village. Hunger has turned the girls to stone-cold zombies without feeling or fear. Ready to follow anyone ready to spend. I can't count the number of girls begging to come to my house even though they've never met me before.. Even me I became scared on their behalf.

2. Too many young single mothers forming single

I met lots and lots of single moms, some as young as 20 doing HK online. I get turned off when I see these
so called singles only to find out they have kids somewhere with one guy. I even met one with 3 kids for 3 guys. It was horrible.
They're all hustling online of course, not there for love.

3. What you see vs what you get is always different.

You will see a very "fine girl" online, her profile picture looks like she's a model or beauty contestant but when u see
them in real life, they're completely different. Looking haggard and tattered. You'll see a light skinned girl online only to see
black skin girl in reality. I almost hid under a table when one of them walked into the lounge to meet me. I started
insisting on video calls to get a feel of what they really look like instead of relying on their over filtered/makeup pictures and getting rude shock at the meetup point.

4. Even working class ladies are not left out.

I met so many working class ladies on the app doing HK, my phone is full of the lewd pictures and videos they sent me via whatsapp trying to
hustle for my attention. All I just need to do is say yes and they'll land on my door step. Am sure these ladies have boyfriends
somewhere who don't know they're living double lives. Some of the few reasonable ones I met were far from my location to make any kind of
relationship impossible.
No shame anymore.. Some will tell you straight up that they're here for hookup, if you're not interested don't bother chatting them and so on..

Please if you have a good homely lady of your own and you're in a stable relationship just hold her tight because it's brutal out there.