₦airaland Forum

My dad once made a statement that instantly changed my mindset towards relationships.

In his words: “Princess, introduction is not marriage. So stop acting so cozy with a guy who has done the bare minimum.”

Shockingly, his words hooked my heart the way a fish gets caught in a net , suddenly, completely, with no escape.

From that moment, this one statement made me develop a visceral hatred for a particular phrase: “Our wife.”

Any attempt for someone to call me “our wife,” I will instantly rebuke the person and respond, “I am not his wife yet.”

I usually receive that instant look of surprise, as though I have said something extreme.

But to me, it was my way of helping myself stay aware of reality without beautifying it.

In my opinion, the introduction ceremony in Nigerian culture is when the lady introduces the man she is interested in marrying to the family.

Smh.

Many of you still do not get it how these things work. Do not be decieved by the nomenclature, if you do introduction, you are already married! Both of you are already entangled.

Introduction is even the most important as it officially commences the exchange of vow rites before God, your parents, families, man and the law. If that is not marriage, what then is it?

Don't get entangled at all till the introduction level. If you have strong doubts about the union, cut him or her off before introduction!
It is already too late after introduction because you are already married to the person.

It depends on the tribe in question.
In Igbo culture, nothing like introduction.
Iku aka or idonye mmanya or Iju ese.
All these things are not marriage. It’s just a declaration of interest.
If you bring wine (idonye mmanya) depending on the town and a maiden’s father accepts the drink from you, you have three months (7 modern weeks) to come and pay bride price (ime ego). More like booking. Within that three months the girl’s father will not accept drinks (mmanya) from any other man. Once the three months is over and you’re not forth coming, it will be assumed you’re no longer interested. Another man can bring drinks and the girl’s father will accept.

Summary.
1. Ime ego (bride price / dowry payment) is the legitimate marriage in Igbo land. And must be completed in full.
2 igba nkwu is the wedding ceremony. More like party for the family. This can be done later or in little installments or some portion waived by the bride’s family. All depending on the town and family strength in the umunna.

Marriage occurs the moment the BRIDE PRICE is paid. If it is paid during introduction, then marriage has taken place during introduction stage. If it is not paid, then marriage has not yet occurred.

CoolKizzy:
It depends on the tribe in question.
In Igbo culture, nothing like introduction.
Iku aka or idonye mmanya or Iju ese.
All these things are not marriage. It’s just a declaration of interest.
If you bring wine (idonye mmanya) depending on the town and a maiden’s father accepts the drink from you, you have three months (7 modern weeks) to come and pay bride price (ime ego). More like booking. Within that three months the girl’s father will not accept drinks (mmanya) from any other man. Once the three months is over and you’re not forth coming, it will be assumed you’re no longer interested. Another man can bring drinks and the girl’s father will accept.

Summary.
1. Ime ego (bride price / dowry payment) is the legitimate marriage in Igbo land. And must be completed in full.
2 igba nkwu is the wedding ceremony. More like party for the family. This can be done later or in little installments or some portion waived by the bride’s family. All depending on the town and family strength in the umunna.

I agree with this

You have said it all.
God bless you

CoolKizzy:
It depends on the tribe in question.
In Igbo culture, nothing like introduction.
Iku aka or idonye mmanya or Iju ese.
All these things are not marriage. It’s just a declaration of interest.
If you bring wine (idonye mmanya) depending on the town and a maiden’s father accepts the drink from you, you have three months (7 modern weeks) to come and pay bride price (ime ego). More like booking. Within that three months the girl’s father will not accept drinks (mmanya) from any other man. Once the three months is over and you’re not forth coming, it will be assumed you’re no longer interested. Another man can bring drinks and the girl’s father will accept.

Summary.
1. Ime ego (bride price / dowry payment) is the legitimate marriage in Igbo land. And must be completed in full.
2 igba nkwu is the wedding ceremony. More like party for the family. This can be done later or in little installments or some portion waived by the bride’s family. All depending on the town and family strength in the umunna.

Tell them, after introduction the women has given birth to 5 children and na full stop. Marriage concluded.

CoolKizzy:
It depends on the tribe in question.
In Igbo culture, nothing like introduction.
Iku aka or idonye mmanya or Iju ese.
All these things are not marriage. It’s just a declaration of interest.
If you bring wine (idonye mmanya) depending on the town and a maiden’s father accepts the drink from you, you have three months (7 modern weeks) to come and pay bride price (ime ego). More like booking. Within that three months the girl’s father will not accept drinks (mmanya) from any other man. Once the three months is over and you’re not forth coming, it will be assumed you’re no longer interested. Another man can bring drinks and the girl’s father will accept.

Summary.
1. Ime ego (bride price / dowry payment) is the legitimate marriage in Igbo land. And must be completed in full.
2 igba nkwu is the wedding ceremony. More like party for the family. This can be done later or in little installments or some portion waived by the bride’s family. All depending on the town and family strength in the umunna.

Well said.

FreeStuffsNG:
Smh.

Many of you still do not get it how these things work. If you do introduction, you are already married! Both of you are already entangled.

Introduction is even the most important as it officially commences the exchange of vow rites before God, your parents, families, man and the law. If that is not marriage, what then is it?

Don't get entangled at all till the introduction level. If you have strong doubts about the union, cut him or her off before introduction!
It is already too late after introduction because you are already married to the person.

Is like introduction in Yoruba is equivalent to traditional marriage in Igbo?

spencekat:
Is like introduction in Yoruba is equivalent to traditional marriage in Igbo?

Smh.

Go and ask Mr Tunde Ayeni, Yoruba and former Chairman of Skye Bank Plc., who had 'ordinary' introduction with his Igbo side chick. They nearly killed him after he assumed it is ordinary.

Your own problem is hypocrisy and I am done wasting my time counselling you and exposing your ignorance and hypocrisy.

It shouldn't have been because introduction is meant for the family to meet each others in the process of getting married. Nothing is sealed with the introduction

FreeStuffsNG:
Smh.
. If you do introduction, you are already married! Both of you are already entangled. .

And this is how you married your own abi?

Na yoruba dey do like that with their coke and fanta and cabin biscuits. No be everybody dey do like yoruba people.

spencekat:
Is like introduction in Yoruba is equivalent to traditional marriage in Igbo?

In his yoruba head. Na so dem dey do.

They will do intro with cheap coke and fanta and the whole family will start calling you IYAWO, OUR WIFE and rope the babe till she is confused and trapped with pregnancy.

O TI LO

why do you think they are called YORUBA DEMONS? 😂

AllBlack:
In his yoruba head. Na so dem dey do.

They will do intro with cheap coke and fanta and the whole family will start calling you IYAWO, OUR WIFE and rope the babe till she is confused and trapped with pregnancy.

O TI LO

why do you think they are called YORUBA DEMONS? 😂

It's because your likes don't have a clue about the real reason for introduction in Yoruba land

It's called mo mi n mo e ( Get to know each other)

It's mostly for the 2 families to get to know about each other before marriage. At least you should have an idea about the family you are getting married to. All family members are always invited for such occasion

AllBlack:
In his yoruba head. Na so dem dey do.

They will do intro with cheap coke and fanta and the whole family will start calling you IYAWO, OUR WIFE and rope the babe till she is confused and trapped with pregnancy.

O TI LO

why do you think they are called YORUBA DEMONS? 😂

Every region and its practice.

helinues:
It's because your likes

My likes have attended everything from Intro to wedding (Christian and Muslim) from Lagos to Ibadan and Ekiti.

I have also attended all the Coke and Fanta shams which your comrade up there says is equivalent to marriage (respond to that and let's see what your likes have to say).

Wetin you wan teach my likes?

AllBlack:
My likes have attended everything from Intro to wedding (Christian and Muslim) from Lagos to Ibadan and Ekiti.

I have also attended all the Coke and Fanta shams which your comrade up there says is equivalent to marriage (respond to that and let's see what your likes have to say).

Wetin you wan teach my likes?

You didn't know about the reasons behind it even though you might have attended lots of it.

Your wife's uncle's, brothers are people you must know and recognize. It's tradition.

AllBlack:
My likes have attended everything from Intro to wedding (Christian and Muslim) from Lagos to Ibadan and Ekiti.

I have also attended all the Coke and Fanta shams which your comrade up there says is equivalent to marriage (respond to that and let's see what your likes have to say).

Wetin you wan teach my likes?

You didn't know about the reasons behind it even though you might have attended lots of it.

Your wife's uncles, brothers are people you must know and recognize. It's a tradition.

helinues:
You didn't know about the reasons behind it even though you might have attended lots of it.

Your wife's uncles, brothers are people you must know and recognize. It's a tradition.

Today is wasted no job
Hmmm we will fix you soon

Keep calm

.

FreeStuffsNG:
Smh.

Many of you still do not get it how these things work. If you do introduction, you are already married! Both of you are already entangled.

Introduction is even the most important as it officially commences the exchange of vow rites before God, your parents, families, man and the law. If that is not marriage, what then is it?

Don't get entangled at all till the introduction level. If you have strong doubts about the union, cut him or her off before introduction!
It is already too late after introduction because you are already married to the person.

I agree that the introduction stage is serious and can be emotionally binding. It is no longer the "I'm still getting to know you" stage for the partners, and only something serious, such as deceit or unfaithfulness, should reasonably break it.

However, it is not marriage in any legal, traditional, or spiritual sense. It is still part of the courtship process, where families formally meet and assess compatibility.

It is important not to confuse levels of commitment: introduction is not marriage, and even engagement is still part of the process, not the final union.

During introduction, no vows have been exchanged and marriage rites have not been completed.

At that stage, the individuals are still fiances, not husband and wife, and shouldn't start behaving as though they are already married or begin cohabiting.

Marriage only exists after the full customary, religious, or civil rites are completed according to the applicable system.

FreeStuffsNG:
Smh.

Many of you still do not get it how these things work. If you do introduction, you are already married! Both of you are already entangled.

Introduction is even the most important as it officially commences the exchange of vow rites before God, your parents, families, man and the law. If that is not marriage, what then is it?

Don't get entangled at all till the introduction level. If you have strong doubts about the union, cut him or her off before introduction!
It is already too late after introduction because you are already married to the person.

introduction is not marriage please get serious, henpty head
No shame In talking jargons
People should desist from taking advise from you

AllBlack:
In his yoruba head. Na so dem dey do.

They will do intro with cheap coke and fanta and the whole family will start calling you IYAWO, OUR WIFE and rope the babe till she is confused and trapped with pregnancy.

O TI LO

why do you think they are called YORUBA DEMONS? 😂

Must you bring tribalism and insults into every discussion you're involved in?!

What stops you from stating your points in a civilized manner?

Judging by your statement, it looks like men don do introduction with you tire.

In our family sha, once we do introduction, we go ahead and marry

COMRADES, introduction is not a marriage but it is a part of the marriage proposal/ preparation

gift2xl:
Tell them, after introduction the women has given birth to 5 children and na full stop. Marriage concluded.

If she likes let her give birth to 10 children, introduction is not marriage

Introduction is far from wedding,it is just a show of interest.
It is just a means of bringing your friend to your parents.
Introduction simply involve your family members just few.

Not all introduction end in marriage,so don't start carrying out the obligation of husband or wife.

FreeStuffsNG:
Smh.

Many of you still do not get it how these things work. If you do introduction, you are already married! Both of you are already entangled.

Introduction is even the most important as it officially commences the exchange of vow rites before God, your parents, families, man and the law. If that is not marriage, what then is it?

Don't get entangled at all till the introduction level. If you have strong doubts about the union, cut him or her off before introduction!
It is already too late after introduction because you are already married to the person.

Why bothered in the first place?

Only introduction you need as a man is to impregnate her, that's loud enough to jump to selling price aka bride price

FreeStuffsNG:
Smh.

Many of you still do not get it how these things work. If you do introduction, you are already married! Both of you are already entangled.

Introduction is even the most important as it officially commences the exchange of vow rites before God, your parents, families, man and the law. If that is not marriage, what then is it?

Don't get entangled at all till the introduction level. If you have strong doubts about the union, cut him or her off before introduction!
It is already too late after introduction because you are already married to the person.

I beg to slightly differ. Introduction is the first step towards marriage not the major step. As long as there's no weeding ceremony, Introduction is still what it is, Introduction. I dislike seeing people spend so much on Introduction, whereby they can just host the wedding and call it a day. Why do people needlessly complicate their lives?

It's better to do a very small introduction ceremony instead of spending huge amount of money on it, whereas it can fund a decent wedding ceremony which will make you HUSBAND AND WIFE.

Without a marriage ceremony, no matter how small, both of them are not married.

Sorry please, double post.

CoolKizzy:
It depends on the tribe in question.
In Igbo culture, nothing like introduction.
Iku aka or idonye mmanya or Iju ese.
All these things are not marriage. It’s just a declaration of interest.
If you bring wine (idonye mmanya) depending on the town and a maiden’s father accepts the drink from you, you have three months (7 modern weeks) to come and pay bride price (ime ego). More like booking. Within that three months the girl’s father will not accept drinks (mmanya) from any other man. Once the three months is over and you’re not forth coming, it will be assumed you’re no longer interested. Another man can bring drinks and the girl’s father will accept.

Summary.
1. Ime ego (bride price / dowry payment) is the legitimate marriage in Igbo land. And must be completed in full.
2 igba nkwu is the wedding ceremony. More like party for the family. This can be done later or in little installments or some portion waived by the bride’s family. All depending on the town and family strength in the umunna.

Carry your mumu commot here.
There is 'introduction' in Ibo culture

VYourstories:
My dad once made a statement that instantly changed my mindset towards relationships.

In his words: “Princess, introduction is not marriage. So stop acting so cozy with a guy who has done the bare minimum.”

Shockingly, his words hooked my heart the way a fish gets caught in a net , suddenly, completely, with no escape.

From that moment, this one statement made me develop a visceral hatred for a particular phrase: “Our wife.”

Any attempt for someone to call me “our wife,” I will instantly rebuke the person and respond, “I am not his wife yet.”

I usually receive that instant look of surprise, as though I have said something extreme.

But to me, it was my way of helping myself stay aware of reality without beautifying it.

In my opinion, the introduction ceremony in Nigerian culture is when the lady introduces the man she is interested in marrying to the family.

Introduction is Marriage

Everything they do in a traditional marriage are also done in traditional

Payment of dowry can take place at any time

Once both families agree and bless the union, a marriage is established, other activities are side attraction