True Story: Claimed She Was Virgin, Rushed Engagement - Romance (4)

True Story: Claimed She Was Virgin, Rushed Engagement - Romance (4) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum › Nairaland General › Romance › True Story: Claimed She Was Virgin, Rushed Engagement (26567 Views)

Re: True Story: Claimed She Was Virgin, Rushed Engagement by mtec: 4:33pm On May 15

You will discover more lies if u go ahead with the wedding plans... be wise

Re: True Story: Claimed She Was Virgin, Rushed Engagement by Bananapill: 4:33pm On May 15

SQLmastar:
Please house, I need mature advice. This matter is tearing me apart.

I met this lady (a doctor)
4 months ago. I'm 35, she is 31.
She told me she was a virgin and I believed her because of how she carried herself. I was very happy and rushed everything – introduction, engagement, and marriage plans (I promised my mum that I would get married before December 2026). We were supposed to do our traditional marriage in one week’s time.

Last week, I received an anonymous WhatsApp message. The person sent pregnancy test results showing that my fiancée was pregnant for her ex-boyfriend during her 1-year residency. She had told me about this ex, but said they never had sex, and that was why they broke up.
I confronted her with the message. At first, she denied it and said it was fake, someone trying to spoil her name. But when I said I would call her best friend to confirm, she broke down and confessed the truth.
She admitted she got pregnant for the ex, aborted it immediately, and promised herself never to have premarital sex again. She said she was ashamed and didn’t want to lose me, so she lied about being a virgin.
Now I’m confused and heartbroken. I love her but the lies are too much.
On the other hand, I have already invited many people – including the chief of my village and my manager at work. Cancelling now will bring serious shame and talk in my village and workplace.

Please Nairalanders, what should I do? Should I go ahead with the marriage or cancel everything? Has anyone been in this kind of situation?

I need honest advice.

May day! May day!! May day!!!
If you have chosen to cry in that marriage you can continue with the preparation

1 Like

Re: True Story: Claimed She Was Virgin, Rushed Engagement by Peacecore: 4:34pm On May 15

Nothing is there if that's only lie she's ever told you. Everyone has secret that is so close to their heart. The issue will be if she's still seeing or communicating the ex or someone else.

Re: True Story: Claimed She Was Virgin, Rushed Engagement by saintcasmir(m): 4:35pm On May 15

You've just uncovered one of the lies. Wait for others that are still hidden. Your eye go clear soon

Re: True Story: Claimed She Was Virgin, Rushed Engagement by PrimadonnaO(f): 4:37pm On May 15

koladata:
Go into a very very deep fasting and prayer , postpone the weeding date. Wait for God to give you a very obvious sign that she's your wife... I'm not a very religious person but believe me when it comes to choosing life partner, God will personally intervene if you ask him for direction

No need to pray.

Nothing about this situation underscores God's principles.

God will not act in lies.

1 Like

Re: True Story: Claimed She Was Virgin, Rushed Engagement by JayVicky: 4:37pm On May 15

Stephen0mozzy:
A virgin female doctor?
Hehehehe.... Asin, not to sound ignorant o... I guess there are tons of females who go through roughly 7years of medical school, 1year of housemanship, 1 year of youth service, around 3 years of junior residency...

Well, to return to your query... It could really be that she was ashamed, but I think she could have brought up the truth that she already had premarital sex before and doesn't want to do it again, without revealing anything about the abortion, and without claiming immaculate abstinence...but alas.

As you said, you like the way she carries herself.... Now I want to hope you rushed marriage preparation because of her value as a woman, AND NOT BECAUSE OF THE ILLUSION OF RETAINED HYMEN?

If the hymen was all you cared about, then I guess you should look for another resident doctor whose hymen is still resident in its natural position.

But if you want to marry her because of her personal qualities, see how you can forgive her LIE, but know that something built on a foundation of lies, already has a k-leg.

I wish you the bery vest.

I don't think it's about the hymen. It's about the lies.
No marriage works without trust.

Re: True Story: Claimed She Was Virgin, Rushed Engagement by JayVicky: 4:38pm On May 15

huptin:
A doctor, apart from this issue if she is not a perpetual liar forgive and move on...there are no saints out there

But the issue proved that she was a perpetual liar.
Even when she got caught she still kept lying. That's a perpetual liar.

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Re: True Story: Claimed She Was Virgin, Rushed Engagement by Stephen0mozzy: 4:39pm On May 15

onuman:
Well, it's not everything built on a foundation of lies has k-leg.
Some liars end their habit of lying once they get married.

Hahaha.... Oga, marriage more often amplifies the bad side of people when they're married.... That's why it's advisable to find someone you can tolerate.

A liar can do anything - I mean anything, even the worst evil.

1 Like

Re: True Story: Claimed She Was Virgin, Rushed Engagement by Stephen0mozzy: 4:41pm On May 15

JayVicky:
I don't think it's about the hymen. It's about the lies.
No marriage works without trust.

OP explicitly said he rushed engagement because she said she's a virgin - hymen happens to be the evidence of virginity.

1 Like

Re: True Story: Claimed She Was Virgin, Rushed Engagement by alyarmouk(m): 4:47pm On May 15

No fall your village chief Hand o… close eye marry her. 🤠

Re: True Story: Claimed She Was Virgin, Rushed Engagement by twilliamx(m): 4:49pm On May 15

SQLmastar:
Please house, I need mature advice. This matter is tearing me apart.

I met this lady (a doctor)
4 months ago. I'm 35, she is 31.
She told me she was a virgin and I believed her because of how she carried herself. I was very happy and rushed everything – introduction, engagement, and marriage plans (I promised my mum that I would get married before December 2026). We were supposed to do our traditional marriage in one week’s time.

Last week, I received an anonymous WhatsApp message. The person sent pregnancy test results showing that my fiancée was pregnant for her ex-boyfriend during her 1-year residency. She had told me about this ex, but said they never had sex, and that was why they broke up.
I confronted her with the message. At first, she denied it and said it was fake, someone trying to spoil her name. But when I said I would call her best friend to confirm, she broke down and confessed the truth.
She admitted she got pregnant for the ex, aborted it immediately, and promised herself never to have premarital sex again. She said she was ashamed and didn’t want to lose me, so she lied about being a virgin.
Now I’m confused and heartbroken. I love her but the lies are too much.
On the other hand, I have already invited many people – including the chief of my village and my manager at work. Cancelling now will bring serious shame and talk in my village and workplace.

Please Nairalanders, what should I do? Should I go ahead with the marriage or cancel everything? Has anyone been in this kind of situation?

I need honest advice.

Temporal shame is better than permanent shame. But the choice is yours

Re: True Story: Claimed She Was Virgin, Rushed Engagement by bixton(m): 4:50pm On May 15

SQLmastar:
Please house, I need mature advice. This matter is tearing me apart.

I met this lady (a doctor)
4 months ago. I'm 35, she is 31.
She told me she was a virgin and I believed her because of how she carried herself. I was very happy and rushed everything – introduction, engagement, and marriage plans (I promised my mum that I would get married before December 2026). We were supposed to do our traditional marriage in one week’s time.

Last week, I received an anonymous WhatsApp message. The person sent pregnancy test results showing that my fiancée was pregnant for her ex-boyfriend during her 1-year residency. She had told me about this ex, but said they never had sex, and that was why they broke up.
I confronted her with the message. At first, she denied it and said it was fake, someone trying to spoil her name. But when I said I would call her best friend to confirm, she broke down and confessed the truth.
She admitted she got pregnant for the ex, aborted it immediately, and promised herself never to have premarital sex again. She said she was ashamed and didn’t want to lose me, so she lied about being a virgin.
Now I’m confused and heartbroken. I love her but the lies are too much.
On the other hand, I have already invited many people – including the chief of my village and my manager at work. Cancelling now will bring serious shame and talk in my village and workplace.

Please Nairalanders, what should I do? Should I go ahead with the marriage or cancel everything? Has anyone been in this kind of situation?

I need honest advice.

So you rushed into marriage with her on the basis that you want to marry a virgin!!!

I do not see any many lies other than you wanted to hear what you wanted to hear.

Well, you'll have to decide, because at the end of the day, it's just you and her as a family or as breakaways and living your private and personal lives..

Re: True Story: Claimed She Was Virgin, Rushed Engagement by Makodama: 5:00pm On May 15

Packaging is real. Instead of saying "beans and garri " you can just say "black eyed peas and cassava flakes which makes it sound more delicious but it is basically the same thing. No matter how wise you think you are as a man there are women out there that can easily "Penanka" you before you blink your eyes. Na God hand we dey O, na only Him fit guide us to the right ones.

Re: True Story: Claimed She Was Virgin, Rushed Engagement by themanderon: 5:04pm On May 15

Tell her to reveal all the hidden details of her past life you need to know. Then most importantly pray before moving ahead with your plans.

Re: True Story: Claimed She Was Virgin, Rushed Engagement by Samuche2000: 5:06pm On May 15

Liars are like craftsmen. They all have the same genes. I fear craftsmen because they behave like women with lies. Think well before you take that step.

1 Like

Re: True Story: Claimed She Was Virgin, Rushed Engagement by InvertedHammer: 5:07pm On May 15

SQLmastar:
Please house, I need mature advice. This matter is tearing me apart.

I met this lady (a doctor)
4 months ago. I'm 35, she is 31.
She told me she was a virgin and I believed her because of how she carried herself. I was very happy and rushed everything – introduction, engagement, and marriage plans (I promised my mum that I would get married before December 2026). We were supposed to do our traditional marriage in one week’s time.

Last week, I received an anonymous WhatsApp message. The person sent pregnancy test results showing that my fiancée was pregnant for her ex-boyfriend during her 1-year residency. She had told me about this ex, but said they never had sex, and that was why they broke up.
I confronted her with the message. At first, she denied it and said it was fake, someone trying to spoil her name. But when I said I would call her best friend to confirm, she broke down and confessed the truth.
She admitted she got pregnant for the ex, aborted it immediately, and promised herself never to have premarital sex again. She said she was ashamed and didn’t want to lose me, so she lied about being a virgin.
Now I’m confused and heartbroken. I love her but the lies are too much.
On the other hand, I have already invited many people – including the chief of my village and my manager at work. Cancelling now will bring serious shame and talk in my village and workplace.

Please Nairalanders, what should I do? Should I go ahead with the marriage or cancel everything? Has anyone been in this kind of situation?

I need honest advice.

/
There is no need to cancel the wedding now because of the inherent shame to you and your family.

If you must take pain, take it like a man. And nothing brings such a ridiculous amount of pain than divorce or cheating.

Be a man!

By the way, have you considered praying for her cool

Re: True Story: Claimed She Was Virgin, Rushed Engagement by Desusi: 5:18pm On May 15

koladata:
Go into a very very deep fasting and prayer , postpone the weeding date. Wait for God to give you a very obvious sign that she's your wife... I'm not a very religious person but believe me when it comes to choosing life partner, God will personally intervene if you ask him for direction

Abi o,can you mend a broken stone 🪨?Never,a liar would always be a liar.He should pray through to the heart of God, marriage journey is far and is accompanied with many things.if this woman should secure the man,he may turn the man to mumu considering her night shifts with her males counterpart in hospital.Only few women are reliable.My mama na woman.

1 Like

Re: True Story: Claimed She Was Virgin, Rushed Engagement by Tecno66: 5:25pm On May 15

Bro, are you for real? A 31 year old virgin? Decide what you want. Is it a good girl or a virgin? If you want a virgin, move on. If you want a good girl, decide if she meets your template.

SQLmastar:
Please house, I need mature advice. This matter is tearing me apart.

I met this lady (a doctor)
4 months ago. I'm 35, she is 31.
She told me she was a virgin and I believed her because of how she carried herself. I was very happy and rushed everything – introduction, engagement, and marriage plans (I promised my mum that I would get married before December 2026). We were supposed to do our traditional marriage in one week’s time.

Last week, I received an anonymous WhatsApp message. The person sent pregnancy test results showing that my fiancée was pregnant for her ex-boyfriend during her 1-year residency. She had told me about this ex, but said they never had sex, and that was why they broke up.
I confronted her with the message. At first, she denied it and said it was fake, someone trying to spoil her name. But when I said I would call her best friend to confirm, she broke down and confessed the truth.
She admitted she got pregnant for the ex, aborted it immediately, and promised herself never to have premarital sex again. She said she was ashamed and didn’t want to lose me, so she lied about being a virgin.
Now I’m confused and heartbroken. I love her but the lies are too much.
On the other hand, I have already invited many people – including the chief of my village and my manager at work. Cancelling now will bring serious shame and talk in my village and workplace.

Please Nairalanders, what should I do? Should I go ahead with the marriage or cancel everything? Has anyone been in this kind of situation?

I need honest advice.

1 Like

Re: True Story: Claimed She Was Virgin, Rushed Engagement by ElevationD: 5:26pm On May 15

APOPTOSIS:
Good Write-up
But I'm more concerned if she genuinely loves him or fear that the guy would be her last suitor on earth. Women are very treacherous.
The Love a woman has for her husband matters the most. The worst woman you can ever share bedspace with, is the woman that barely loves you. That's the reason men are very concerned about prostitutes. Very dangerous.

The only Caveat I have about your statement is you blackmailing him with the fact that "he's not a virgin either. First, who told you he isn't a Virgin? . For me such shouldn't even arise in this context. They are not competing. It's the man who goes to knock on the door to pick a wife. It's left for the woman to agree or not. That societal curve must be respected

Thank you for taking your time to read my initial comment on the matter.

When you say “women are treacherous”, you generalize the behavior. I’d rather say some women are treacherous. Just as we have some treacherous women, there are too many treacherous men out there. Many, irrespective of the gender get into marriages with deception in their hearts. That’s why there are too many divorces, paternity fraud, physical injury or death witnessed presently.

While we fear promiscuous women, what should we say to women who unknowingly marry armed robbers and ritualists, only to discover guns and human remains in special rooms, long after getting married? The fear is on both sides, as women also marry men who barely love them.

Your concern about love is noted, but OP has not mentioned to the contrary. The only issue raised by him is lie regarding her virginity. We can take it for granted that the emotional status of the woman towards him is unquestionable or indisputable.

I took it for granted that the young man is not a virgin. Men sometimes make demands from women that are near impossible, when it comes to marriages. Some border on the absurd. In most cases that I have encountered, young men who themselves have been completely morally and sexually bankrupt, have requested virgins only for marriage.

“It’s a man who goes to knock on the door…”. Do not forget that these days, some women have woken up. They see the men who they like and go after them. It may sound very uncultural/not traditional, but they end up marrying and that ends the matter for them.

I think that societal demands on women sometimes are harsh and should not continue to make women inferior people.

Cheers bro.

2 Likes

Re: True Story: Claimed She Was Virgin, Rushed Engagement by QuinQ: 5:29pm On May 15

koladata:
If you've never heard from God before, it will be very had to explain because me I'm not a very religious person... but believe God talks to everybody, your pastor or Imam is not special, we are just always too lazy to pray

You keep saying you're not a religious person yet you believe there is God that is so into minautae of human adfairs that he talks to people about things like who they should marry. If that is not very religious I don't know what is!
So please give as close example as possible as to what sign God would give

1 Like

Re: True Story: Claimed She Was Virgin, Rushed Engagement by mctech(m): 5:33pm On May 15

Babinski:
If you are a genuine Christian, pray about the matter and ask God to reveal more things about her and her suitability for your wife. It may be that she was truthful and rightly ashamed as she said.

However,engage the anonymous WhatsApp sender to learn more about her a d talk to her best friend. It appears her best friend would not cover up her lies, hence her decision to come clean. If you best friend is not a liar, won't cover up evil for you and you are still friends, it may be a bonus consideration though not decisive or conclusive

Ask God if she should marry, a liar manipulator and abortionist!!!

God knows what else she is hiding!

Packing a can of worms in the toga of a decent and religious sister .

2 Likes

Re: True Story: Claimed She Was Virgin, Rushed Engagement by StoryHaven: 5:49pm On May 15

Are you a virgin yourself. No annoy me o.

She don confess she don confess

Abegi

Re: True Story: Claimed She Was Virgin, Rushed Engagement by Jossybj1984(m): 6:23pm On May 15

If she is a good girl that out of love desperation she lie to you just find a place in your heart to forgive her and go ahead to marry her because she be the best of the best available for your destiny lest you end up with vampire

Re: True Story: Claimed She Was Virgin, Rushed Engagement by chris51(f): 6:27pm On May 15

I think there is something wrong with this man. How can you believe that a 31 year old medical doctor is still a virgin. Let's be honest, are you interested in marrying a good person or your interest is virginity?
If virginity is more important to you, go and engage a primary school school girl. Guide her and protect her virginity until she is of age to marry.
As for your girl, lying about being a virgin was dumb because you could have found out when you marry, which could have been more devastating.
If she actually a good girl, please forgive her stupidity, after all, people marry single mothers

1 Like

Re: True Story: Claimed She Was Virgin, Rushed Engagement by chris51(f): 6:27pm On May 15

chris51:
I think there is something wrong with this man. How can you believe that a 31 year old medical doctor is still a virgin. Let's be honest, are you interested in marrying a good person or your interest is virginity?
If virginity is more important to you, go and engage a primary school school girl. Guide her and protect her virginity until she is of age to marry.
As for your girl, lying about being a virgin was dumb because you could have found out when you marry, which could have been more devastating.
If she actually a good girl, please forgive her stupidity, after all, people marry single mothers

Re: True Story: Claimed She Was Virgin, Rushed Engagement by PROPHETmichael: 6:29pm On May 15

You can forgive her, but the issue is that whenever you look at the “virgin” in that marriage, this is how you will see her and already seeing her🤣🤣🤣

Re: True Story: Claimed She Was Virgin, Rushed Engagement by Maitunbi: 6:41pm On May 15

Use your head.

No one can tell you what you already know.

Just listen to your heart.

Be sensible enough to listen to the little voice telling you what you should do.

1 Like

Re: True Story: Claimed She Was Virgin, Rushed Engagement by femi4: 6:41pm On May 15

SQLmastar:
Please house, I need mature advice. This matter is tearing me apart.

I met this lady (a doctor)
4 months ago. I'm 35, she is 31.
She told me she was a virgin and I believed her because of how she carried herself. I was very happy and rushed everything – introduction, engagement, and marriage plans (I promised my mum that I would get married before December 2026). We were supposed to do our traditional marriage in one week’s time.

Last week, I received an anonymous WhatsApp message. The person sent pregnancy test results showing that my fiancée was pregnant for her ex-boyfriend during her 1-year residency. She had told me about this ex, but said they never had sex, and that was why they broke up.
I confronted her with the message. At first, she denied it and said it was fake, someone trying to spoil her name. But when I said I would call her best friend to confirm, she broke down and confessed the truth.
She admitted she got pregnant for the ex, aborted it immediately, and promised herself never to have premarital sex again. She said she was ashamed and didn’t want to lose me, so she lied about being a virgin.
Now I’m confused and heartbroken. I love her but the lies are too much.
On the other hand, I have already invited many people – including the chief of my village and my manager at work. Cancelling now will bring serious shame and talk in my village and workplace.

Please Nairalanders, what should I do? Should I go ahead with the marriage or cancel everything? Has anyone been in this kind of situation?

I need honest advice.

Thats not a big deal

You should be more worried about the state of her womb..other than that, no problem. Who virgin help

Re: True Story: Claimed She Was Virgin, Rushed Engagement by Ifexibe(m): 6:45pm On May 15

"It’s sex first, then relationship, not the other way around." - Rational Male

"When a woman makes you wait for sex you are not her highest priority." - Rational Male

"If a girl is that into you she’ll have sex with you regardless of ASD or having her friends in the room videotaping it at a frat party." - RM

"Sex is the glue that holds relationships together." - Rational Male

"Waiting for sex isn’t building rapport." - Rational Male

Genuine attraction cannot be negotiated.

I dey shame for you, manosphere is not proud of you.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: True Story: Claimed She Was Virgin, Rushed Engagement by AngelicBeing: 6:52pm On May 15

InvertedHammer:
/
There is no need to cancel the wedding now because of the inherent shame to you and your family.

If you must take pain, take it like a man. And nothing brings such a ridiculous amount of pain than divorce or cheating.

Be a man!

By the way, have you considered praying for her

/

You have started again ooooooooo with your savage response, like seriously, pray for her for what exactly sad

I know that you are joking but continue ooooooooo mucheche Hahaha 😂

Re: True Story: Claimed She Was Virgin, Rushed Engagement by kiddaz: 7:30pm On May 15

Lol I done laugh sotey tears full my eyes grin

She play you and you village chiefs altogether, chai grin

And you sef you hear virgin you begin dey rush wan do wedding make another person no carry her but see where rushing land you now? If you like dey reason wetin your village chiefs go talk and throw away your life. The lies she has told you is a very serious one and if you let it slide now just know your life after the wedding is doomed. She will bury you deep in lies till you turn vegetable. A liar is a cheat and a thief... those 3 characters for women go together. Save yourself Pinocchio angry

Re: True Story: Claimed She Was Virgin, Rushed Engagement by Omowale2023(m): 7:39pm On May 15

Babinski:
If you are a genuine Christian, pray about the matter and ask God to reveal more things about her and her suitability for your wife. It may be that she was truthful and rightly ashamed as she said.

However,engage the anonymous WhatsApp sender to learn more about her a d talk to her best friend. It appears her best friend would not cover up her lies, hence her decision to come clean. If you best friend is not a liar, won't cover up evil for you and you are still friends, it may be a bonus consideration though not decisive or conclusive

A person lied to you she's a virgin and she aborted a baby without telling you. What other things is she lying about?
And you should pray as a Christian? For what exactly? Directions about a relationship she built on falsehood?
No nah...... it isn't making sense

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