₦airaland Forum

Emaprince:
The wife that dumped her kids and travel out, prioritized who?

It is men that needs to learn from women on how to put thenselves first

This right here we both know isn't true. Look around you, don't we have more single mothers than fathers? A woman will think about a lot of things, the well-being of the child/children before any other thing. If not, there should be more single fathers. Women are really selfless.

Kalulu44:
Good day ladies and gentlemen of the great NL house!
Before I go into the main gist. I want to first apologize to those who thinks I write stories too much and they're sometimes long and boring to them.
Let me introduce myself first. I'm a single father of 3 who lost his Benin wife to their Japa syndrome since 2010 and never seen or heard from till today.
By God's grace, after 20yrs of driving commercially to survive and train the kids, I formally retired last year. Not bcus the job wasn't lucrative, but bcus I was warned to stop after having some series of severe back pain, neck pain and leg pain.
Thankfully, before retiring I managed to win over a hired purchased bus that's fending for my 3 kids who are staying with my aunt who at 60+ doesn't have a husband nor a child.
Not wanting to stay idle, I currently work as a security personnel at a Guest House from 7pm to 11pm, while taking care of the owners house which is just beside it during the day. The owner is in US. So I practically stay in the big house all alone. Honestly there's no much work for me to do there other than weeding and cleaning the compound once every week. The rest of the day is just for eating, browsing and sleeping. Not wanting to be lonely and depressed is why I am almost online everyday, writing stories and gossips about my surroundings.
Like I always said, 90 to 95% of my stories are real life stories with the other percents like adding maggi, salt and spices to make it sweet or interesting.
I love writing, reading, driving, music, movies, sports especially football and watching documentary on history and biographies.
.
Now to the main gist. I lived and work in an area fully surrounded by hostels occupied by students and youths working in Chinese companies in Ogun state.
Electricity in the area is epileptic and comes once every week. Luckily for me, due to the guest house, I have 24/7 light from either solar or generator which makes water abundance for me.
But the students and workers are not that lucky. So majority of them always looks for where to charge their phone and also gets water.
When lights come, they normally pump water in their hostels, but it doesn't last more than two days.
Like two to three compounds normally used generator to pump water where they always go to. Sometimes the owners of those places allows them, sometimes they rejecting them.
Another only source of water in the street is a well at the extreme end of the street, it's stressful for some of them.
.
I started working where I am now January this year, but I always stay on my own and just observing the students and workers.
For me to make friends with some of them, I started getting water for some of them that usually greets me. If I see they have walked and walked looking for water and didn't see, I will just tell the person to drop his bucket and then go inside and get water from them.
But anytime I do this, they always thank me with sir sir.
One among them, who was learning hairdresser and selling men clothes online, approached me one day and begged for her to use my compound to make videos of her clothes.
I obliged her and ever since then which was February, we have been friends.
.
With time I began to like her, but her constant good morning sir, good evening sir just like the other girls used to greet me always discouraged me from telling her my mind about her.
After Easter my phone got spoilt and for close to 3 weeks I didn't have chance to go to Lagos and repair it.
And it was the time my feelings for her became strong.
I didn't know how to approach her, so I used the opportunity of her giving me her phone to charge for her to write down my feelings for her on a sheet of paper and attached it at the back of her phone.
.
When it was time to collect it, I told her there's a note I attached in her phone that she should read it. She collected it, thank me and bade me goodnight sir while bowing down a little as a Yoruba girl she's.
Hoping to get answer the next day, even though I was apprehensive on how she will take or react about it.
My people, this is 3 weeks now since I wrote that letter and she hasn't said anything or confronted me on why I wrote such notes.
But we have been greeting and talking to each other since the next day after the note till date, and both of us pretending such never happened.
I said to myself once I repair my phone, I will send her a msg asking what she thought about my note and why hasn't she replied.
I got my done last week, and I still don't have the courage to ask her both in person or thru msg.
.
But there's a reason why I haven't.
In between those times my phone was still spoilt and the note sent to her. There was an electrician who came to do some repairs in my compound sent by my boss.
It was same time she too came to do videos of her clothes in my compound. The electrician told me he like her that I should run her for him. I told him I can't that he should go himself.
So he used the guise of wanting to buy her clothes and approached her.
I sha know they exchanged numbers.
This was 2 weeks ago, so last week when the electrician came to finish his work, he ask me of her. I told him I thought you collected his number the other day. He said he did, and that he has bought clothes of 30k from her.
But that when he tries to pushed further about dating her, she told him she has a guy.
.
Hmmmm.... I heave to myself and asked him his next line of action. He said he'll pushed further. I just mutter the words ok o.
So since that last week, hearing she has a serious guy, (even though she hasn't brought any guy home or any man came looking for her unlike some of the other girls)
It just makes my resolve of asking her what she thinks about my note weak.
But we do see and talk everyday, but her constant "es'e sir, ekaro sir" always puts me off. I don't know if she's deliberately doing that so I will know she respects me as an elderly person. By the way she's 28 while I'm in my early 40s.
.
To the other girls, I am getting closer to some of them. But they too wants to kill me with sir sir sir, and thereby knocking me off of asking any of them out. All these is bcus one of my child a girl who's 17 came to visit me one day.
But the truth is I am seriously lonely, bored and depressed at times. If not for NAIRALAND and Sportsnews and YouTube, only God knows what I would have done to myself. I really need one of them as an acquaintance and if it can lead to a serious relationship, I am ready for it.
Just that I don't know how to go about it with the over respect they're according me.
.
So I am asking for womanology experts who knows how to go about this to give me some tips. The pictures attached to this post are mine, am I too old in the true sense of it or what. Cus physically I look young and agile to most of the guys I see some of them hang around with and I am not mincing words here. I will welcome any thoughts from you all, both insults and good advice.
After all I made the post to get engagement and discussion to kill off boredom.
Thanks and good day to you all once again.

Is this your story real or imagination?

gerizzim:
why not do this thing in a more dignifying way. look for am advance single lady or a widow too and wrk tins out dt way. In the real sense of marriage.

One dt will stay with you permanently to be ur companion Dan all these pay as you go gals. this ur approach will drain you of resources trying to keep maintaining these gfrnds.

Moreover, will you approve your 17yrs old daughter to date a single dad of 56yrs your age?

If you can not proudly introduce dt 28yrs old gal your eyeing to ur daughter as a side chick or gfrnd, den dnt push this ur amorous overture's further. Think about this

Why? A girl of 28 is a mature woman na just say the guy no get liver. Leave talk about widow, make him unalive people mama during bending and pumping abi?

faithfull18:
This right here we both know isn't true. Look around you, don't we have more single mothers than fathers? A woman will think about a lot of things, the well-being of the child/children before any other thing. If not, there should be more single fathers. Women are really selfless self-centered.

Fixed

faithfull18:
This right here we both know isn't true. Look around you, don't we have more single mothers than fathers? A woman will think about a lot of things, the well-being of the child/children before any other thing. If not, there should be more single fathers. Women are really selfless.

Every man will hapilly accept custody of their kids...but women with their bitter nature will always want to take the kids away and even deny the father access to his kids...just because she wants to spite him. This is why you think you have many single mothers than fathers.

In everything that has to do with relationships, women have always been selfish and only interested in what makes them happy. They really dont care about the man who provides 90% of the time.

Like I said....it is men that need to wake up and put thenselves first. Make sure they take good care of themselves, cos no one else will do it for them.

Emaprince:


Shey na cruise Kalulu44 use una the catch here. Posting with two accs

Lolz! Thats not me o. But i understand the owner of that moniker is trying to ginger me to be bold and go for what I want

sandra2025:
Is this your story real or imagination?

If you go thru it well, you will know it's not imagination but real

AMI3:
Nice one
The fact is that if u make them to feel so important they will mess u up.

Just play along once u knack one of them all those "shakara' pamper them once but don't be so emotional ur aim is to get down with her once u succeed one the rest will be running after u.
Women hate competition and they are jealous type.
Or just make one of them your closet friend without attaching any emotional feelings to her

U can get what u want if u know how to play it

Exactly! I am now close to one of them, infact I even showed her around my place. She likes it, but haven't fully committed.
This was last week Saturday, as at ystday she's still dragging her feet. But I have told myself maybe I will stop letting them come to fetch water or charge phone.
Ystday I told them one of them has offended me and bcus of her I won't let anybody in again. You need to see the way they're begging and telling me to name the person so they'll go talk to her.
I just told them not worry, I will handle it myself. Though I later allow them fetch water, but I still wanna stop it finally

Yugoslavia247:
Don’t tell her you are not angry
Even if you are not
Form anger.
They need your money and food
So just make sure.

No wahala

Emaprince:
Every man will hapilly accept custody of their kids...but women with their bitter nature will always want to take the kids away and even deny the father access to his kids...just because she wants to spite him. This is why you think you have many single mothers than fathers.

In everything that has to do with relationships, women have always been selfish and only interested in what makes them happy. They really dont care about the man who provides 90% of the time.

Like I said....it is men that need to wake up and put thenselves first. Make sure they take good care of themselves, cos no one else will do it for them.

This isn't true! Touch ground please. Which men carry 90% in this generation? Women are doing way more than they should be doing, go to the streets and verify. Women do a lot of cover-ups yet get blamed for everything.

I have seen cases where the men forcefully took the children away only to get maltreated by whoever the father marries again, if not, they would probably leave the children with the man or share them.I heard a group of secondary school girls talking about this recently, the stepmother pretends in front of her father and acts out when he isn't there and no, it's not Nollywood, real life experiences.

Most men will abandon their children somewhere and not care if they are getting the love and support they should get. Women are doing the most please, men put themselves first and don't think of how their actions and inactions affect everybody. This OP is an example.

Truvelisback:
From your long epistle, it is obvious you talk too much.

From your short note it's obvious you don't know anything about me.
I can talk and shout the whole world down if it's football argument. Anything else I am like a snail that recoils in its shell.

Emaprince:
Allowing all of them at once wasnt ideal. Stopping it will make you look bad.

You should have picked the ones you liked and let then have the access..then tell them your mind. But remember that going after students who stay on the same area as you, will drain your pocket. Na you go dey feed that one...Infact, once she gets comfortable with you, na your place she go dey spend most of her days due to constant light, water, food and soft drinks..cos you need to stock up your fridge too.

Pls anything concerning settling with then should be erased from your mind. You should be doing it for fun and to ease off konji. Trust me, any girl that agrees to you is also there fornthe benefits, and she will bounce as soon as she is done with school.

The love letter you wrote is so old school and made you look weak. Best thing would have been to try and make her comfortable around you.. gist, laugh and fllirt sometimes. You can even playfully ask her to be your company sometimes. Her reactions will tell you whether to push further or abort mission. Atleast You have your pride intact cos you never professed any true intention.

Writting love letters or going all out sometimes will give her the edge and the room to reject you, and then brag about it to her friends. Cos most women do that.

To be honest none of them are students, I dey craze to go for students wey I know say billing na their second name.
They're all workers working for a particular Chinese company that rented the whole hostel for them.
The thing that baffles me the most is their forming. You people that stays 4 in one room, used paint rubber to toilet and have no water.
They sometimes stay till 11 or 12 midnite outside bcus of heat.
Honestly, my aim is not to love any of them but on mutual benefits.

sacajawea:
Your First child is how old?

By September 1st he will be 21

Bluearrow:
You misconstrued my comment, it is not an insult. There are certain things we should naturally outgrow with age, at 46 u shouldn't be afraid to ask a girl out, these are things teenage boys should experience, not an adult. I will still suggest when next u see her, tell her u will like to have a word with her, ask her about the letter u sent. It's a better approach than sending message on Whatsapp.

Alright, but since then she hardly comes outside. We now see once in awhile and she still Accord me my respect.
.
And 2ndly I have moved passed her and unto another person I have set trap for

MaziObinnaokija:
Delete yo pinsure. Kpele

Ok sir Mazi

Well I have lots of young ladies that address me as sir and I still go ahead shoot my shots with the success rate far more than the opposite.

Love, kpekus, gbola no get age bracket bros

Confidence is the big elephant in the room. That girl has sensed it and that is why she is playing with you. From writing your feelings on a note and waiting until you repair your phone to be able to confront her on her dumb behavior toward you. It all just goes on to show that you lack balls and you overthink things. Listen carefully, next time you see that girl call her by her name, tell her to come, look her in her eyes and ask her if she got your note ? listen to what she has to say. There you have your answer. But if you ask me, I will tell you that she is not feeling you that much

kalulu44, you still dey ontop dis matter? I think say you don tie your preek join your lap.🥱🥱

LIVINGICONREBOR:
kalulu44, you still dey ontop dis matter? I think say you don tie your preek join your lap.🥱🥱

And I think say your mind don comot for the matter since

Kalulu44:
Exactly! I am now close to one of them, infact I even showed her around my place. She likes it, but haven't fully committed.
This was last week Saturday, as at ystday she's still dragging her feet. But I have told myself maybe I will stop letting them come to fetch water or charge phone.
Ystday I told them one of them has offended me and bcus of her I won't let anybody in again. You need to see the way they're begging and telling me to name the person so they'll go talk to her.
I just told them not worry, I will handle it myself. Though I later allow them fetch water, but I still wanna stop it finally

U are the king in ur own world.
Some of them are pretenders.
May be they are scare of your wife.

Maybe the are trying to be careful so that the mother of your daughter will not come and fight or disgrace her

With time and play boy pattern u will their world.

U can start playing with their emotions and see their reactions.
Women are women.
Don't allow all these Genz to act as if they know the game better than u.

AMI3:
U are the king in ur own world.
Some of them are pretenders.
May be they are scare of your wife.

Maybe the are trying to be careful so that the mother of your daughter will not come and fight or disgrace her

With time and play boy pattern u will their world.

U can start playing with their emotions and see their reactions.
Women are women.
Don't allow all these Genz to act as if they know the game better than u.

Lolz! You go fear mother of my children. Where that one dey now. I haven't set eyes on her since 2010 when she left for Europe. And I have never remarried.
I am single and lonely as a f*ck.

Kalulu44:
Lolz! You go fear mother of my children. Where that one dey now. I haven't set eyes on her since 2010 when she left for Europe. And I have never remarried.
I am single and lonely as a f*ck.

Do they understand that ?

AMI3:
Do they understand that ?

The question should be, have they seen me or heard I am with any woman.
Even some of them are frolicking with men who many people knows have wife at their various home.
Work brought them together here

Kalulu44:
Mehn I have tried everything possible but to no avail. You won't believe I got to know the house opposite my place is rented by a Chinese company who puts their workers there.
It's a 10 room face me I face you, to my surprise they're staying 4 people per room.
.
It's my place they all fetched water, I have tried using that to woo some of them. Even as far as offering them where to lay their heads with 24/7 light that we do have.
The street gets light once every week.
But right now, I am thinking of stopping all of them from fetching water in my compound.
It was even risk I was taking doing that, cus my boss who's in the States warned me against it

Ogbeni, you try use 247 light to woo them to come dey sleep for your side and them bone. People wey no get light. Na him be say dem no send you at all at all o

Wotowotoman:
Ogbeni, you try use 247 light to woo them to come dey sleep for your side and them bone. People wey no get light. Na him be say dem no send you at all at all o

Omoh eh, the thing wey I see there be say. E be like say them dey shy. Who go first make the move na im dey worry them.

Kalulu44:
Lolz! Dressing smartly, I have done. Infact bcus of them I started wearing most of these genZ clothes that people term "Yahoo guys clothes".
.
Now it's not about her again cus I have forgotten about her even though we are still on talking terms.
It's the other girls at the compound closed to her I am trying to run one of them, I have tried 3 of them separately. It's the last one that's somehow responsive, but she's still dragging her feet. On Sunday which was 3days ago I cooked and gave her food when she was really hungry. On Monday when she said she was ill or maybe pretending to be. I gave her some money to get food then take drugs.
She promised to come to my side that Monday night but fail.
Ystday I boned her, and she came to me and was saying she knows I am angry.
I told her I am not angry o, she went out again and didn't come as she promised.
So bcus of her, I am thinking of blocking every one of them from assessing water or charging phone in my compound.
My boss didn't even want it, even though I was taking a risk doing it.
.
I told some of the girls ystday that wanted water that I am not allowing them again that one of them has offended me. They wanted to know the person but I decline telling them.
I pityingly allow them ystday, but I have made my resolve that I won't allow anyone again including her.

The bolded is very funny I swear. Abeg make we see picture of you in the Gen Z dressing na

Wotowotoman:
The bolded is very funny I swear. Abeg make we see picture if you in the Gen Z dressing na

Lolz! Free me o. Na normal polo/t-shirt and baggy trousers and some normal Jean trousers.

faithfull18:
This isn't true! Touch ground please. Which men carry 90% in this generation? Women are doing way more than they should be doing, go to the streets and verify. Women do a lot of cover-ups yet get blamed for everything.

I have seen cases where the men forcefully took the children away only to get maltreated by whoever the father marries again, if not, they would probably leave the children with the man or share them.I heard a group of secondary schools talking about this recently, the stepmother pretends in front of her father and acts out when he isn't there and no, it's not Nollywood, real life experiences.

Most men will go abandon their children somewhere and not care if they are getting the love and support they should get. Women are doing the most please, men put themselves first and don't think of how their actions and inactions affect everybody. This OP is an example.

Na you need to touch ground.

Women doing the most are online. Women that will use a trumpet to announce any little contribution they make in a mans life. The few women carrying finacial load in their famillies doesnt negate the fact that men carries the load makority of the time. Even when the woman is working and earning, the man will still be paying rents, school fees and most of her bills too. So spare us this internet stories that ends up on internet.

There is no woman that wants to leave their kids with the father...and it is mostly because they want to cause the man pains by making him miss his kids. Some will be so bitter that they will make sure they dissappear and the man gets no access to the kid. So blame yourselves for making yourself single moms with the load. Also in cases where the man is granted access to the kid, he will be paying the child school fees and upkeep..and the woman will be eating from the money too. So sit down oneside with this story that exist only online.

Bro na your work dey fear them, women look down on men doing security work go to a good church join their youth community platforms, work for God there you will have loads of friends to talk to.

Kalulu44:
Good day ladies and gentlemen of the great NL house!
Before I go into the main gist. I want to first apologize to those who thinks I write stories too much and they're sometimes long and boring to them.
Let me introduce myself first. I'm a single father of 3 who lost his Benin wife to their Japa syndrome since 2010 and never seen or heard from till today.
By God's grace, after 20yrs of driving commercially to survive and train the kids, I formally retired last year. Not bcus the job wasn't lucrative, but bcus I was warned to stop after having some series of severe back pain, neck pain and leg pain.
Thankfully, before retiring I managed to win over a hired purchased bus that's fending for my 3 kids who are staying with my aunt who at 60+ doesn't have a husband nor a child.
Not wanting to stay idle, I currently work as a security personnel at a Guest House from 7pm to 11pm, while taking care of the owners house which is just beside it during the day. The owner is in US. So I practically stay in the big house all alone. Honestly there's no much work for me to do there other than weeding and cleaning the compound once every week. The rest of the day is just for eating, browsing and sleeping. Not wanting to be lonely and depressed is why I am almost online everyday, writing stories and gossips about my surroundings.
Like I always said, 90 to 95% of my stories are real life stories with the other percents like adding maggi, salt and spices to make it sweet or interesting.
I love writing, reading, driving, music, movies, sports especially football and watching documentary on history and biographies.
.
Now to the main gist. I lived and work in an area fully surrounded by hostels occupied by students and youths working in Chinese companies in Ogun state.
Electricity in the area is epileptic and comes once every week. Luckily for me, due to the guest house, I have 24/7 light from either solar or generator which makes water abundance for me.
But the students and workers are not that lucky. So majority of them always looks for where to charge their phone and also gets water.
When lights come, they normally pump water in their hostels, but it doesn't last more than two days.
Like two to three compounds normally used generator to pump water where they always go to. Sometimes the owners of those places allows them, sometimes they rejecting them.
Another only source of water in the street is a well at the extreme end of the street, it's stressful for some of them.
.
I started working where I am now January this year, but I always stay on my own and just observing the students and workers.
For me to make friends with some of them, I started getting water for some of them that usually greets me. If I see they have walked and walked looking for water and didn't see, I will just tell the person to drop his bucket and then go inside and get water from them.
But anytime I do this, they always thank me with sir sir.
One among them, who was learning hairdresser and selling men clothes online, approached me one day and begged for her to use my compound to make videos of her clothes.
I obliged her and ever since then which was February, we have been friends.
.
With time I began to like her, but her constant good morning sir, good evening sir just like the other girls used to greet me always discouraged me from telling her my mind about her.
After Easter my phone got spoilt and for close to 3 weeks I didn't have chance to go to Lagos and repair it.
And it was the time my feelings for her became strong.
I didn't know how to approach her, so I used the opportunity of her giving me her phone to charge for her to write down my feelings for her on a sheet of paper and attached it at the back of her phone.
.
When it was time to collect it, I told her there's a note I attached in her phone that she should read it. She collected it, thank me and bade me goodnight sir while bowing down a little as a Yoruba girl she's.
Hoping to get answer the next day, even though I was apprehensive on how she will take or react about it.
My people, this is 3 weeks now since I wrote that letter and she hasn't said anything or confronted me on why I wrote such notes.
But we have been greeting and talking to each other since the next day after the note till date, and both of us pretending such never happened.
I said to myself once I repair my phone, I will send her a msg asking what she thought about my note and why hasn't she replied.
I got my done last week, and I still don't have the courage to ask her both in person or thru msg.
.
But there's a reason why I haven't.
In between those times my phone was still spoilt and the note sent to her. There was an electrician who came to do some repairs in my compound sent by my boss.
It was same time she too came to do videos of her clothes in my compound. The electrician told me he like her that I should run her for him. I told him I can't that he should go himself.
So he used the guise of wanting to buy her clothes and approached her.
I sha know they exchanged numbers.
This was 2 weeks ago, so last week when the electrician came to finish his work, he ask me of her. I told him I thought you collected his number the other day. He said he did, and that he has bought clothes of 30k from her.
But that when he tries to pushed further about dating her, she told him she has a guy.
.
Hmmmm.... I heave to myself and asked him his next line of action. He said he'll pushed further. I just mutter the words ok o.
So since that last week, hearing she has a serious guy, (even though she hasn't brought any guy home or any man came looking for her unlike some of the other girls)
It just makes my resolve of asking her what she thinks about my note weak.
But we do see and talk everyday, but her constant "es'e sir, ekaro sir" always puts me off. I don't know if she's deliberately doing that so I will know she respects me as an elderly person. By the way she's 28 while I'm in my early 40s.
.
To the other girls, I am getting closer to some of them. But they too wants to kill me with sir sir sir, and thereby knocking me off of asking any of them out. All these is bcus one of my child a girl who's 17 came to visit me one day.
But the truth is I am seriously lonely, bored and depressed at times. If not for NAIRALAND and Sportsnews and YouTube, only God knows what I would have done to myself. I really need one of them as an acquaintance and if it can lead to a serious relationship, I am ready for it.
Just that I don't know how to go about it with the over respect they're according me.
.
So I am asking for womanology experts who knows how to go about this to give me some tips. The pictures attached to this post are mine, am I too old in the true sense of it or what. Cus physically I look young and agile to most of the guys I see some of them hang around with and I am not mincing words here. I will welcome any thoughts from you all, both insults and good advice.
After all I made the post to get engagement and discussion to kill off boredom.
Thanks and good day to you all once again.

Our minds play tricks on us when we look into mirrors. We think we are still young. We are not. Other young people who look at us see our real ages and they stay clear. That being said, look for ladies in their late 30s. You are looking for companionship, they are looking to settle down. Chances are, at that age, they may not get easily pregnant. You have got a free body to explore without protection. If She gets pregnant, that's her luck. But you looking at those young girls (any girl in her 20s still dey market) and thinking they will fall for you, that's a tall order. Even men who are rich can only pull those girls because of their money. Those girls will be there for the money, nothing else.

greypencils:
Our minds play tricks on us when we look into mirrors. We think we are still young. We are not. Other young people who look at us see our real ages and they stay clear. That being said, look for ladies in their late 30s. You are looking for companionship, they are looking to settle down. Chances are, at that age, they may not get easily pregnant. You have got a free body to explore without protection. If She gets pregnant, that's her luck. But you looking at those young girls (any girl in her 20s still dey market) and thinking they will fall for you, that's a tall order. Even men who are rich can only pull those girls because of their money. Those girls will be there for the money, nothing else.

God forbid I go for ladies in their late 30s.
What's wrong with a 40+ guy and 28yr old lady?

Kalulu44:
God forbid I go for ladies in their late 30s.
What's wrong with a 40+ guy and 28yr old lady?

You never ready. You are not lonely.