₦airaland Forum

You, are you a virgin, how many of your sx sin have you confessed to her? Bro, you are lucky, she doesn't want to loose you. If you forgive her and marry her, she'll forever be loyal to you and respect you

SQLmastar:
Please house, I need mature advice. This matter is tearing me apart.

I met this lady (a doctor)
4 months ago. I'm 35, she is 31.
She told me she was a virgin and I believed her because of how she carried herself. I was very happy and rushed everything – introduction, engagement, and marriage plans (I promised my mum that I would get married before December 2026). We were supposed to do our traditional marriage in one week’s time.

Last week, I received an anonymous WhatsApp message. The person sent pregnancy test results showing that my fiancée was pregnant for her ex-boyfriend during her 1-year residency. She had told me about this ex, but said they never had sex, and that was why they broke up.
I confronted her with the message. At first, she denied it and said it was fake, someone trying to spoil her name. But when I said I would call her best friend to confirm, she broke down and confessed the truth.
She admitted she got pregnant for the ex, aborted it immediately, and promised herself never to have premarital sex again. She said she was ashamed and didn’t want to lose me, so she lied about being a virgin.
Now I’m confused and heartbroken. I love her but the lies are too much.
On the other hand, I have already invited many people – including the chief of my village and my manager at work. Cancelling now will bring serious shame and talk in my village and workplace.

Please Nairalanders, what should I do? Should I go ahead with the marriage or cancel everything? Has anyone been in this kind of situation?

I need honest advice.

Marry her.
Your own sins might be plenty too.

aalangel:
Marry her.
Your own sins might be plenty too.

A house built on a faulty foundation will not last

aalangel:
Marry her.
Your own sins might be plenty too.

What do you mean by my own sins? I was sincere and honest with her, every step of the way.

I finally called off the trad wedding. It wasn't an easy decision to make.

Although I took few weeks off work and personal life. Travelled to a remote location and turned off any mode of communication. To reminisce on my life and choices.

I still have feelings for her though. *sobs*

Thank you all for your comments, encouragement and advices.

SQLmastar:
What do you mean by my own sins? I was sincere and honest with her, every step of the way.

I finally called off the trad wedding. It wasn't an easy decision to make.

Although I took few weeks off work and personal life. Travelled to a remote location and turned off any mode of communication. To reminisce on my life and choices.

I still have feelings for her though. *sobs*

Thank you all for your comments, encouragement and advices.

You're crying?
If you're truly a good man, you'll locate a great lady.

Take a pause. The snake you are running for may be waiting to greet you in the future

SQLmastar:
Please house, I need mature advice. This matter is tearing me apart.

I met this lady (a doctor)
4 months ago. I'm 35, she is 31.
She told me she was a virgin and I believed her because of how she carried herself. I was very happy and rushed everything – introduction, engagement, and marriage plans (I promised my mum that I would get married before December 2026). We were supposed to do our traditional marriage in one week’s time.

Last week, I received an anonymous WhatsApp message. The person sent pregnancy test results showing that my fiancée was pregnant for her ex-boyfriend during her 1-year residency. She had told me about this ex, but said they never had sex, and that was why they broke up.
I confronted her with the message. At first, she denied it and said it was fake, someone trying to spoil her name. But when I said I would call her best friend to confirm, she broke down and confessed the truth.
She admitted she got pregnant for the ex, aborted it immediately, and promised herself never to have premarital sex again. She said she was ashamed and didn’t want to lose me, so she lied about being a virgin.
Now I’m confused and heartbroken. I love her but the lies are too much.
On the other hand, I have already invited many people – including the chief of my village and my manager at work. Cancelling now will bring serious shame and talk in my village and workplace.

Please Nairalanders, what should I do? Should I go ahead with the marriage or cancel everything? Has anyone been in this kind of situation?

I need honest advice.

Omowale2023:
A person lied to you she's a virgin and she aborted a baby without telling you. What other things is she lying about?
And you should pray as a Christian? For what exactly? Directions about a relationship she built on falsehood?
No nah...... it isn't making sense

Should Christ have continued with Peter after he denied him thrice? Is Rahab the harlot qualified to be in the ancestral lineage of Jesus? Or Ruth the Moabitess, who is from a tribe or group that God had warned the Israelites against marrying? The long and short is that human wisdom has its limits. Some of the people that end up being very loyal started on the wrong footing. It is never pointless asking God.

Stephen0mozzy:
😝 If them give me appointment, you sure say I no go start dey behave like Bwala and Onanuga?

LEAVE ME OH, MY BELLE DEY PAIN ME

Babinski:
Should Christ have continued with Peter after he denied him thrice? Is Rahab the harlot qualified to be in the ancestral lineage of Jesus? Or Ruth the Moabitess, who is from a tribe or group that God had warned the Israelites against marrying? The long and short is that human wisdom has its limits. Some of the people that end up being very loyal started on the wrong footing. It is never pointless asking God.

You are encouraging bad behavior. Did Peter start his relationship with God on pretence, lies and falsehoods?

Omowale2023:
You are encouraging bad behavior. Did Peter start his relationship with God on pretence, lies and falsehoods?

I am not encouraging bad behavior. I never said what she did was good. But to err is human. That is why despite decreeing that every soul that sinneth shall die, God did not condemn you to die without giving the option of redemption. There are people who turned out good today that started on a bad footing many years back. Eagerness to cast the first stone is not a sign of righteousness. I advised that the guy seek for God's guidance on the matter but you already concluded on final condemnation of the young woman. Are you wiser than God or you can envisage what God's response would be?

Babinski:
I am not encouraging bad behavior. I never said what she did was good. But to err is human. That is why despite decreeing that every soul that sinneth shall die, God did not condemn you to die without giving the option of redemption. There are people who turned out good today that started on a bad footing many years back. Eagerness to cast the first stone is not a sign of righteousness. I advised that the guy seek for God's guidance on the matter but you already concluded on final condemnation of the young woman. Are you wiser than God or you can envisage what God's response would be?

No good can come out of it. A house can't stand on a faulty foundation. If he accepts her, she will never learn her mistakes, we human need to undergo painful experiences to learn life-long lessons. It doesn't make you bad, it's how nature wants it to happen. In Newton's 3rd law of Motion: "For every action, there's always an opposite and equal reaction". We all, whether Muslims or Christians, pagans or atheists must obey the universal laws of physics, therefore sir, there's no room for redemption in the context and in this case in particular. It's well. He should count his losses and move on, he would meet a better one, she too should forget about the relationship and change her ways. She should seek the face of God and I know our Lord Jesus Christ will help her, for with God nothing shall be impossible.