₦airaland Forum

SHE_NEEDS_YOUR_ADVICE

My wedding was scheduled for March this year, but everything changed after my fiancé's father passed away unexpectedly in November.

His funeral was held just three weeks later, in December. I genuinely wanted to attend, but there was one major problem: my employer had a strict policy against granting leave during the December holiday period. When I accepted the job, this condition was clearly stated. Despite explaining my situation and pleading for an exception, my request was denied.

I informed my fiancé immediately. At first, he appeared understanding. I even contributed financially to support the funeral arrangements.

Then his mother called.

She told me that if I truly wanted to become part of their family, I had to be physically present at her husband's funeral. I tried explaining my circumstances, but she ended the call before I could finish.

When I called my fiancé afterward, I expected him to stand by me. Instead, he asked:

"If it were your own father, wouldn't you find a way to attend?"

I explained that the situations were different because my employer might make an exception if it were my immediate family member.

That was when he dropped the bombshell:

"No presence. No wedding."

I thought grief was speaking. I thought time would calm him down.

I was wrong.

The wedding was officially cancelled.

My family tried everything to reconcile the situation, but his family refused every attempt. Eventually, my father advised me to accept the loss and move forward with my life.

It broke me, but I did.

Months passed.

Then, on May 20th, my ex-fiancé called me.

What he said left me speechless.

According to him, I had failed the test of being a good wife because I stopped trying to convince his family after the wedding was cancelled. He said a "real wife" would have kept begging until she was accepted.

Then he announced that he had "forgiven" me.

Not only that, he had already chosen a new wedding date in August and expected me to start preparing immediately.

As if the breakup had never happened.

As if my feelings didn't matter.

As if he alone had the authority to decide when a relationship ends—and when it resumes.

Without hesitation, I told him I was no longer interested.

His response shocked me even more.

He said:

"I'm not done. You don't have the right to be done."

I blocked his number immediately.

But that wasn't the end.

A few days later, he appeared at my father's house carrying the bride price and all the marriage items he had previously rejected.

My father told him clearly:

"My daughter has moved on. As far as this family is concerned, she is no longer available."

Still, he refused to accept it.

Since then, he and his mother have continued calling, visiting, and pressuring both me and my family despite my repeated refusal.

Now I'm beginning to wonder:

Is this really about love, or is there something deeper behind their sudden determination?

What troubles me most is the mindset that someone can cancel a wedding, disappear for months, return when it suits them, and expect another person to simply obey.

I am now considering legal action because the constant calls, visits, and refusal to respect my decision are becoming disturbing.

My question is:

If someone ends a relationship, then later decides to "forgive" you and resume the wedding without your consent, would you see that as love... or as a dangerous sense of entitlement?

What would you do if you were in my shoes?

Eventually, my father advised me to accept the loss and move forward with my life.

🤷🏿

Have you heard of such thing before…You already know what to do..

Sue them for nuptial imposition and harassment with marriage item and bridal price.

AdisGlobal01:
✓ My question is:
If someone ends a relationship, then later decides to "forgive" you and resume the wedding without your consent, would you see that as love... or as a dangerous sense of entitlement?
What would you do if you were in my shoes?

He initially made you believe he understood why you couldn't attend the funeral. Not long after he changed his mind about that and decided to give you an ultimatum. Afterwards he cancelled on you because you refused to give in to his threat. Now he says he wants you back and you don't see that the red flag with this one is bright and hard to ignore? 🥱🥱

Also, the word forgive has been used by folks to useless their lives for nothing. Forgiveness is not an excuse to then throw your life to the wolves literally at your door. 🥱

If you try to enter this wedding 💒💍
Wot I'm seeing
Is single mom
Seems like his mom gat final say!

This is the type of marriage proposal that's referred to as 'jump and pass'. If the narration is true then the op needs to go for thanksgiving. God just delivered her from family of narcissists. It will always be about them. Her interest doesn't matter to them. It's always about me, me and me.

You don't need to sue anyone, just move on.
They're just surprised that they couldn't break you and make you their family slave. But rather the opposite and he doesn't want to take defeat.
Please if you are still available, kindly let me know.
That's the best way to move on.

You are seeing signs of a mentally unstable man, and an irrational family.

Don't allow your mind to run back to the cage they are planning for you or else you will see great wonders.

AdisGlobal01:
SHE_NEEDS_YOUR_ADVICE

My wedding was scheduled for March this year, but everything changed after my fiancé's father passed away unexpectedly in November.

His funeral was held just three weeks later, in December. I genuinely wanted to attend, but there was one major problem: my employer had a strict policy against granting leave during the December holiday period. When I accepted the job, this condition was clearly stated. Despite explaining my situation and pleading for an exception, my request was denied.

I informed my fiancé immediately. At first, he appeared understanding. I even contributed financially to support the funeral arrangements.

Then his mother called.

She told me that if I truly wanted to become part of their family, I had to be physically present at her husband's funeral. I tried explaining my circumstances, but she ended the call before I could finish.

When I called my fiancé afterward, I expected him to stand by me. Instead, he asked:

"If it were your own father, wouldn't you find a way to attend?"

I explained that the situations were different because my employer might make an exception if it were my immediate family member.

That was when he dropped the bombshell:

"No presence. No wedding."

I thought grief was speaking. I thought time would calm him down.

I was wrong.

The wedding was officially cancelled.

My family tried everything to reconcile the situation, but his family refused every attempt. Eventually, my father advised me to accept the loss and move forward with my life.

It broke me, but I did.

Months passed.

Then, on May 20th, my ex-fiancé called me.

What he said left me speechless.

According to him, I had failed the test of being a good wife because I stopped trying to convince his family after the wedding was cancelled. He said a "real wife" would have kept begging until she was accepted.

Then he announced that he had "forgiven" me.

Not only that, he had already chosen a new wedding date in August and expected me to start preparing immediately.

As if the breakup had never happened.

As if my feelings didn't matter.

As if he alone had the authority to decide when a relationship ends—and when it resumes.

Without hesitation, I told him I was no longer interested.

His response shocked me even more.

He said:

"I'm not done. You don't have the right to be done."

I blocked his number immediately.

But that wasn't the end.

A few days later, he appeared at my father's house carrying the bride price and all the marriage items he had previously rejected.

My father told him clearly:

"My daughter has moved on. As far as this family is concerned, she is no longer available."

Still, he refused to accept it.

Since then, he and his mother have continued calling, visiting, and pressuring both me and my family despite my repeated refusal.

Now I'm beginning to wonder:

Is this really about love, or is there something deeper behind their sudden determination?

What troubles me most is the mindset that someone can cancel a wedding, disappear for months, return when it suits them, and expect another person to simply obey.

I am now considering legal action because the constant calls, visits, and refusal to respect my decision are becoming disturbing.

My question is:

If someone ends a relationship, then later decides to "forgive" you and resume the wedding without your consent, would you see that as love... or as a dangerous sense of entitlement?

What would you do if you were in my shoes?

Beware of marrying into that family!!!

Run while you can...

of all the things that didn't happen, this didnt happen the most

What bothers me so much about this story is the fact that the guy as unworthy, immature, irresponsible and insensitive as he is has also added to your body count😡💔

So, family's myopic mindset can affect his thinking.

I'll share a quick story of my own similar situation.

Some years ago, when I was still a Muslim, I wanted to marry a Christian lady. She was everything a man could pray for in a woman. Since I wasn't deeply grounded in Islam, I decided to explore Christianity. But coming from a Muslim home, you have to ease into it because telling a Muslim family that you're becoming a Christian can be very risky.

Ironically, my mother would occasionally visit churches whenever she heard about a pastor performing miracles, but my late father and my four elder sisters are deep Muslim.

Back to the story. I loved this lady dearly. I was her first boyfriend. She was an accounting graduate, had a good job, was beautiful, decent, and a devoted MFM member. She introduced me to her church, and I loved it. For the first time, I found a way to pray to God without feeling burdened by ablution. In Islam, you must perform ablution and maintain your prayers consistently before feeling worthy enough to ask God for anything. But in Christianity, I felt I could simply pray, and I felt fulfilled. I was ready to become a Christian and marry her.

At the time, my mother lived with me. She knew this lady was good for me. She knew I loved her. Yet she decided to play the religion card.

Once the family heard I was planning to marry a Christian, everything changed. Even my younger brother, who hadn't stepped into a mosque in five years, suddenly remembered he was a Muslim. Everyone turned against me, and in no time, I had to let the lady go.

It broke me.

She got married about a year later, while I spent several years without another relationship. I made sure I became a full Christian. If for no other reason, it was partly to prove a point to my family: I may not have married her, but here I am; a Christian. Do your worst.

Then something interesting happened.

About two to three years later, when I still hadn't brought another woman home, my mother started telling me almost every day how much she regretted letting that Christian lady go. She would sing her praises, talk about how good she was, and remind me what a decent woman my Christian ex girlfriend had been.

That is family for you.

Would you blame me for ending the relationship, or would you blame my family?

The lady had already seen all the signs that my family didn't welcome her, yet about three years later, the same people wished they had acted differently.

What I learned from that experience is that families sometimes care so much about us that they begin to see us as a prize that can always attract a better bidder. It's like owning a precious stone you think is worth ₦100,000. Then someone comes along and offers ₦500,000. Suddenly, everyone around you starts insisting it's worth ₦1 million.

So my advice to you is this: if your fiancé doesn't share that same myopic mindset, you may want to reconsider the marriage before making a final decision.

AdisGlobal01:
SHE_NEEDS_YOUR_ADVICE

My wedding was scheduled for March this year, but everything changed after my fiancé's father passed away unexpectedly in November.

His funeral was held just three weeks later, in December. I genuinely wanted to attend, but there was one major problem: my employer had a strict policy against granting leave during the December holiday period. When I accepted the job, this condition was clearly stated. Despite explaining my situation and pleading for an exception, my request was denied.

I informed my fiancé immediately. At first, he appeared understanding. I even contributed financially to support the funeral arrangements.

Then his mother called.

She told me that if I truly wanted to become part of their family, I had to be physically present at her husband's funeral. I tried explaining my circumstances, but she ended the call before I could finish.

When I called my fiancé afterward, I expected him to stand by me. Instead, he asked:

"If it were your own father, wouldn't you find a way to attend?"

I explained that the situations were different because my employer might make an exception if it were my immediate family member.

That was when he dropped the bombshell:

"No presence. No wedding."

I thought grief was speaking. I thought time would calm him down.

I was wrong.

The wedding was officially cancelled.

My family tried everything to reconcile the situation, but his family refused every attempt. Eventually, my father advised me to accept the loss and move forward with my life.

It broke me, but I did.

Months passed.

Then, on May 20th, my ex-fiancé called me.

What he said left me speechless.

According to him, I had failed the test of being a good wife because I stopped trying to convince his family after the wedding was cancelled. He said a "real wife" would have kept begging until she was accepted.

Then he announced that he had "forgiven" me.

Not only that, he had already chosen a new wedding date in August and expected me to start preparing immediately.

As if the breakup had never happened.

As if my feelings didn't matter.

As if he alone had the authority to decide when a relationship ends—and when it resumes.

Without hesitation, I told him I was no longer interested.

His response shocked me even more.

He said:

"I'm not done. You don't have the right to be done."

I blocked his number immediately.

But that wasn't the end.

A few days later, he appeared at my father's house carrying the bride price and all the marriage items he had previously rejected.

My father told him clearly:

"My daughter has moved on. As far as this family is concerned, she is no longer available."

Still, he refused to accept it.

Since then, he and his mother have continued calling, visiting, and pressuring both me and my family despite my repeated refusal.

Now I'm beginning to wonder:

Is this really about love, or is there something deeper behind their sudden determination?

What troubles me most is the mindset that someone can cancel a wedding, disappear for months, return when it suits them, and expect another person to simply obey.

I am now considering legal action because the constant calls, visits, and refusal to respect my decision are becoming disturbing.

My question is:

If someone ends a relationship, then later decides to "forgive" you and resume the wedding without your consent, would you see that as love... or as a dangerous sense of entitlement?

What would you do if you were in my shoes?

That guy might kill you for refusing him.

Report him to the police asap.

That's a vampire family..... run for your life. The mother controls the family.

AdisGlobal01:
SHE_NEEDS_YOUR_ADVICE

My wedding was scheduled for March this year, but everything changed after my fiancé's father passed away unexpectedly in November.

His funeral was held just three weeks later, in December. I genuinely wanted to attend, but there was one major problem: my employer had a strict policy against granting leave during the December holiday period. When I accepted the job, this condition was clearly stated. Despite explaining my situation and pleading for an exception, my request was denied.

I informed my fiancé immediately. At first, he appeared understanding. I even contributed financially to support the funeral arrangements.

Then his mother called.

She told me that if I truly wanted to become part of their family, I had to be physically present at her husband's funeral. I tried explaining my circumstances, but she ended the call before I could finish.

When I called my fiancé afterward, I expected him to stand by me. Instead, he asked:

"If it were your own father, wouldn't you find a way to attend?"

I explained that the situations were different because my employer might make an exception if it were my immediate family member.

That was when he dropped the bombshell:

"No presence. No wedding."

I thought grief was speaking. I thought time would calm him down.

I was wrong.

The wedding was officially cancelled.

My family tried everything to reconcile the situation, but his family refused every attempt. Eventually, my father advised me to accept the loss and move forward with my life.

It broke me, but I did.

Months passed.

Then, on May 20th, my ex-fiancé called me.

What he said left me speechless.

According to him, I had failed the test of being a good wife because I stopped trying to convince his family after the wedding was cancelled. He said a "real wife" would have kept begging until she was accepted.

Then he announced that he had "forgiven" me.

Not only that, he had already chosen a new wedding date in August and expected me to start preparing immediately.

As if the breakup had never happened.

As if my feelings didn't matter.

As if he alone had the authority to decide when a relationship ends—and when it resumes.

Without hesitation, I told him I was no longer interested.

His response shocked me even more.

He said:

"I'm not done. You don't have the right to be done."

I blocked his number immediately.

But that wasn't the end.

A few days later, he appeared at my father's house carrying the bride price and all the marriage items he had previously rejected.

My father told him clearly:

"My daughter has moved on. As far as this family is concerned, she is no longer available."

Still, he refused to accept it.

Since then, he and his mother have continued calling, visiting, and pressuring both me and my family despite my repeated refusal.

Now I'm beginning to wonder:

Is this really about love, or is there something deeper behind their sudden determination?

What troubles me most is the mindset that someone can cancel a wedding, disappear for months, return when it suits them, and expect another person to simply obey.

I am now considering legal action because the constant calls, visits, and refusal to respect my decision are becoming disturbing.

My question is:

If someone ends a relationship, then later decides to "forgive" you and resume the wedding without your consent, would you see that as love... or as a dangerous sense of entitlement?

What would you do if you were in my shoes?

Life is more spiritual than we all know,I can assure you that they've been to places to find out things about you, things they don't know before and that triggers the desperation. It happened to me once and the girl's grandma later voiced out when I refused their plea for months that they were told she shouldn't ignore me for my present status,else she will regret it,begs me and I won't listen no matter how much they plead. So run for your dear life and don't be trapped,the mom won't let you enjoy your marriage and if you ignore my warning,it will bite you. Happy Sunday

I expected you to had resigned that work in agreement with him instead of missing your "father in proxy" burial but both of seems not to be in true love which is the trend today, eyes are always open at either ends.

My conclusion about you is that you are very wicked and u sacrificial. Your ex is more wicked, weakling and not man enough.

Inform him directly that you will get him into the law court which will be more embarrassing if he don't leave you alone.

The relationship is shattered and will be devastating if you guys later come together again. Move on as already and urge his stupid ass to move on forever too

AdisGlobal01:
SHE_NEEDS_YOUR_ADVICE

My wedding was scheduled for March this year, but everything changed after my fiancé's father passed away unexpectedly in November.

His funeral was held just three weeks later, in December. I genuinely wanted to attend, but there was one major problem: my employer had a strict policy against granting leave during the December holiday period. When I accepted the job, this condition was clearly stated. Despite explaining my situation and pleading for an exception, my request was denied.

I informed my fiancé immediately. At first, he appeared understanding. I even contributed financially to support the funeral arrangements.

Then his mother called.

She told me that if I truly wanted to become part of their family, I had to be physically present at her husband's funeral. I tried explaining my circumstances, but she ended the call before I could finish.

When I called my fiancé afterward, I expected him to stand by me. Instead, he asked:

"If it were your own father, wouldn't you find a way to attend?"

I explained that the situations were different because my employer might make an exception if it were my immediate family member.

That was when he dropped the bombshell:

"No presence. No wedding."

I thought grief was speaking. I thought time would calm him down.

I was wrong.

The wedding was officially cancelled.

My family tried everything to reconcile the situation, but his family refused every attempt. Eventually, my father advised me to accept the loss and move forward with my life.

It broke me, but I did.

Months passed.

Then, on May 20th, my ex-fiancé called me.

What he said left me speechless.

According to him, I had failed the test of being a good wife because I stopped trying to convince his family after the wedding was cancelled. He said a "real wife" would have kept begging until she was accepted.

Then he announced that he had "forgiven" me.

Not only that, he had already chosen a new wedding date in August and expected me to start preparing immediately.

As if the breakup had never happened.

As if my feelings didn't matter.

As if he alone had the authority to decide when a relationship ends—and when it resumes.

Without hesitation, I told him I was no longer interested.

His response shocked me even more.

He said:

"I'm not done. You don't have the right to be done."

I blocked his number immediately.

But that wasn't the end.

A few days later, he appeared at my father's house carrying the bride price and all the marriage items he had previously rejected.

My father told him clearly:

"My daughter has moved on. As far as this family is concerned, she is no longer available."

Still, he refused to accept it.

Since then, he and his mother have continued calling, visiting, and pressuring both me and my family despite my repeated refusal.

Now I'm beginning to wonder:

Is this really about love, or is there something deeper behind their sudden determination?

What troubles me most is the mindset that someone can cancel a wedding, disappear for months, return when it suits them, and expect another person to simply obey.

I am now considering legal action because the constant calls, visits, and refusal to respect my decision are becoming disturbing.

My question is:

If someone ends a relationship, then later decides to "forgive" you and resume the wedding without your consent, would you see that as love... or as a dangerous sense of entitlement?

What would you do if you were in my shoes?

.

AdisGlobal01:
SHE_NEEDS_YOUR_ADVICE

My wedding was scheduled for March this year, but everything changed after my fiancé's father passed away unexpectedly in November.

His funeral was held just three weeks later, in December. I genuinely wanted to attend, but there was one major problem: my employer had a strict policy against granting leave during the December holiday period. When I accepted the job, this condition was clearly stated. Despite explaining my situation and pleading for an exception, my request was denied.

I informed my fiancé immediately. At first, he appeared understanding. I even contributed financially to support the funeral arrangements.

Then his mother called.

She told me that if I truly wanted to become part of their family, I had to be physically present at her husband's funeral. I tried explaining my circumstances, but she ended the call before I could finish.

When I called my fiancé afterward, I expected him to stand by me. Instead, he asked:

"If it were your own father, wouldn't you find a way to attend?"

I explained that the situations were different because my employer might make an exception if it were my immediate family member.

That was when he dropped the bombshell:

"No presence. No wedding."

I thought grief was speaking. I thought time would calm him down.

I was wrong.

The wedding was officially cancelled.

My family tried everything to reconcile the situation, but his family refused every attempt. Eventually, my father advised me to accept the loss and move forward with my life.

It broke me, but I did.

Months passed.

Then, on May 20th, my ex-fiancé called me.

What he said left me speechless.

According to him, I had failed the test of being a good wife because I stopped trying to convince his family after the wedding was cancelled. He said a "real wife" would have kept begging until she was accepted.

Then he announced that he had "forgiven" me.

Not only that, he had already chosen a new wedding date in August and expected me to start preparing immediately.

As if the breakup had never happened.

As if my feelings didn't matter.

As if he alone had the authority to decide when a relationship ends—and when it resumes.

Without hesitation, I told him I was no longer interested.

His response shocked me even more.

He said:

"I'm not done. You don't have the right to be done."

I blocked his number immediately.

But that wasn't the end.

A few days later, he appeared at my father's house carrying the bride price and all the marriage items he had previously rejected.

My father told him clearly:

"My daughter has moved on. As far as this family is concerned, she is no longer available."

Still, he refused to accept it.

Since then, he and his mother have continued calling, visiting, and pressuring both me and my family despite my repeated refusal.

Now I'm beginning to wonder:

Is this really about love, or is there something deeper behind their sudden determination?

What troubles me most is the mindset that someone can cancel a wedding, disappear for months, return when it suits them, and expect another person to simply obey.

I am now considering legal action because the constant calls, visits, and refusal to respect my decision are becoming disturbing.

My question is:

If someone ends a relationship, then later decides to "forgive" you and resume the wedding without your consent, would you see that as love... or as a dangerous sense of entitlement?

What would you do if you were in my shoes?

I am a man and I can tell you that you should never ever marry in to that family if you do you're finished!!!

Sorry, it's all about the romance.

If u ignore signs, u shall see wonders!

AdisGlobal01:
SHE_NEEDS_YOUR_ADVICE

My wedding was scheduled for March this year, but everything changed after my fiancé's father passed away unexpectedly in November.

His funeral was held just three weeks later, in December. I genuinely wanted to attend, but there was one major problem: my employer had a strict policy against granting leave during the December holiday period. When I accepted the job, this condition was clearly stated. Despite explaining my situation and pleading for an exception, my request was denied.

I informed my fiancé immediately. At first, he appeared understanding. I even contributed financially to support the funeral arrangements.

Then his mother called.

She told me that if I truly wanted to become part of their family, I had to be physically present at her husband's funeral. I tried explaining my circumstances, but she ended the call before I could finish.

When I called my fiancé afterward, I expected him to stand by me. Instead, he asked:

"If it were your own father, wouldn't you find a way to attend?"

I explained that the situations were different because my employer might make an exception if it were my immediate family member.

That was when he dropped the bombshell:

"No presence. No wedding."

I thought grief was speaking. I thought time would calm him down.

I was wrong.

The wedding was officially cancelled.

My family tried everything to reconcile the situation, but his family refused every attempt. Eventually, my father advised me to accept the loss and move forward with my life.

It broke me, but I did.

Months passed.

Then, on May 20th, my ex-fiancé called me.

What he said left me speechless.

According to him, I had failed the test of being a good wife because I stopped trying to convince his family after the wedding was cancelled. He said a "real wife" would have kept begging until she was accepted.

Then he announced that he had "forgiven" me.

Not only that, he had already chosen a new wedding date in August and expected me to start preparing immediately.

As if the breakup had never happened.

As if my feelings didn't matter.

As if he alone had the authority to decide when a relationship ends—and when it resumes.

Without hesitation, I told him I was no longer interested.

His response shocked me even more.

He said:

"I'm not done. You don't have the right to be done."

I blocked his number immediately.

But that wasn't the end.

A few days later, he appeared at my father's house carrying the bride price and all the marriage items he had previously rejected.

My father told him clearly:

"My daughter has moved on. As far as this family is concerned, she is no longer available."

Still, he refused to accept it.

Since then, he and his mother have continued calling, visiting, and pressuring both me and my family despite my repeated refusal.

Now I'm beginning to wonder:

Is this really about love, or is there something deeper behind their sudden determination?

What troubles me most is the mindset that someone can cancel a wedding, disappear for months, return when it suits them, and expect another person to simply obey.

I am now considering legal action because the constant calls, visits, and refusal to respect my decision are becoming disturbing.

My question is:

If someone ends a relationship, then later decides to "forgive" you and resume the wedding without your consent, would you see that as love... or as a dangerous sense of entitlement?

What would you do if you were in my shoes?

Follow @Kobojunkies advice

gr8cany:
I expected you to had resigned that work in agreement with him instead of missing your "father in proxy" burial but both of seems not to be in true love which is the trend today, eyes are always open at either ends.

My conclusion about you is that you are very wicked and u sacrificial. Your ex is more wicked, weakling and not man enough.

Inform him directly that you will get him into the law court which will be more embarrassing if he don't leave you alone.

The relationship is shattered and will be devastating if you guys later come together again. Move on as already and urge his stupid ass to move on forever too

She should resign to attend a burial and look for another job how many people have seen jobs and she should resign because of them...the guy is obviously a psycho and a control freak and his mum is definitely going to be a force she doesn't want to reckon with.

She's not wicked if she loses her job to attend the burial they'll say she's trying hard to impress them they'll not even value her with what I'm seeing they'll bottle her if she marries him.

Please my dear follow your heart and God will give you another man be patient and continue being yourself.
Body count or no body count as I'm reading some comments nobody is perfect everyone is learning even the best relationship experts fall at their very own rules.

koladata:
✓So my advice to you is this: if your fiancé doesn't share that same myopic mindset, you may want to reconsider the marriage before making a final decision.

The man she was engaged to cancelled the wedding because she didn't ditch her job for his sake. Yet here you are desperately trying to separate him from his own action with a long epistle to nowhere. You sure say everything dey fine? 🥱

Op, in life, there are numerous lessons for each of us to learn. (Yes, the best teacher remains Life.) However, some useful idiots place themselves in the way of others learning the deserved lessons/consequences of their own actions. Never be that person to any human being, including your own children. You will always regret it. 🥱

koladata:
His parents may simply have a different mindset, sometimes a very myopic one, and it is what it is. So family's myopic mindset can affect is own thinking.

I'll share a quick story of my own.

Some years ago, when I was still a Muslim, I wanted to marry a Christian lady. She was everything a man could pray for in a woman. Since I wasn't deeply grounded in Islam, I only went to the mosque occasionally, I decided to explore Christianity. But coming from a Muslim home, you have to ease into something like that. Telling a Muslim family that you're becoming a Christian can be very risky.

Ironically, my mother would occasionally visit churches whenever she heard about a pastor performing miracles, but my late father and my four elder sisters were deeply Muslim. In fact, our firstborn wears the full hijab.

Back to the story. I loved this lady dearly. I was her first boyfriend. She was an accounting graduate, had a good job, was beautiful, decent, and a devoted MFM member. She introduced me to her church, and I loved it. For the first time, I found a way to pray to God without feeling burdened by ablution. In Islam, you must perform ablution and maintain your prayers consistently before feeling worthy enough to ask God for anything. But in Christianity, I felt I could simply pray, and I felt fulfilled. I was ready to become a Christian and marry her.

At the time, my mother lived with me. She knew this lady was good for me. She knew I loved her. Yet she decided to play the religion card.

Once the family heard I was planning to marry a Christian, everything changed. Even my younger brother, who hadn't stepped into a mosque in five years, suddenly remembered he was a Muslim. Everyone turned against me, and in no time, I had to let the lady go.

It broke me.

She got married about a year later, while I spent several years without another relationship. I made sure I became a full Christian. If for no other reason, it was partly to prove a point to my family: I may not have married her, but here I am; a Christian. Do your worst.

Then something interesting happened.

Less than two years later, when I still hadn't brought another woman home, my mother started telling me almost every day how much she regretted letting that Christian lady go. She would sing her praises, talk about how good she was, and remind me what a decent woman my Christian ex girlfriend had been.

That is family for you.

Would you blame me for ending the relationship, or would you blame my family?

The lady had already seen all the signs that my family didn't welcome her, yet less than two years later, the same people wished they had acted differently.

What I learned from that experience is that families sometimes care so much about us that they begin to see us as a prize that can always attract a better bidder. It's like owning a precious stone you think is worth ₦100,000. Then someone comes along and offers ₦500,000. Suddenly, everyone around you starts insisting it's worth ₦1 million.

So my advice to you is this: if your fiancé doesn't share that same myopic mindset, you may want to reconsider the marriage before making a final decision.

Your tale is quite different. In your case, you ended the relationship due to family pressure. In his case, he is acting like a control freak. My guess is that he hasn't done a 9 to 5 job. If he has, he will know that some companies are very dramatic to approve leave in December.

Irrespective, he is acting like her opinion doesn't count which is a very big red flag. Even if she forgives him and moves on with him, she will see premium tears in the marriage.

He and his family have tried outside girls and realized this one is still manageable 😂

Better don't worry yourself
There's more to it

I like the father s stand

Why be say una sabi put oyinbo picture for matters wey concern our local settings??

So, there is no picture of a local traditional wedding gathering wey u for put??.......even if na AI generated one?

I didn't even bother reading everything because the reality is if it was your mom or dad that died there would definitely had been no excuse, so if he thinks you don't value or rate him enough to make sacrifices then maybe you don't really do and you should look elsewhere too. People make time for what they really care about. oaky I have finished it due to some comments and then your question:

My question is:

If someone ends a relationship, then later decides to "forgive" you and resume the wedding without your consent, would you see that as love... or as a dangerous sense of entitlement?

What would you do if you were in my shoes?

It's not love, you are both clearly not compatible. Like I said previously. Really move on and forget about them

kiddaz:
➜I didn't even bother reading everything because the reality is if it was your mom or dad that died there would definitely had been no excuse,
➜ so if he thinks you don't value or rate him enough to make sacrifices then maybe you don't really do and you should look elsewhere too. People make time for what they really care about. oaky I have finished it due to some comments and then your question:
➜ It's not love, you are both clearly not compatible. Like I said previously. Really move on and forget about them

Ask 20 married women out there who lost either father or mother either while dating or during the marriage. The vast majority will likely tell you that their other half could not attend the funeral, typically for work-related reasons. This isn't an attempt to say that some women do not break off engagements for the same reason, but to put a perspective on things.

2. A woman shouldn't have to sacrifice her employment for love, just as a man shouldn't need to do so for a woman. If a man or woman decided on their own to quit, that is a whole different issue entirely. But to sacrifice one's source of livelihood for the sake of another human being... that has always almost always been a stewpid decision.

3. Love is not stewpid nor has it anything to do with stewpidity... stewpid people are just that ... stewpid.

All of una dey open mouth wa wa .. if na she the boy do am to,will she forgive? Abeg,you people are always quick to judge the male side..

I don arrive the trend,who dey zuzu?

Funny family...so attending the burial wasnt important afterall