₦airaland Forum

Better face front. If you accept him after all these pleas, you go see shege for him hand

What would you do if you were in my shoes?

I will remove the shoes and run, barefoot, for my life. Shikena!!!

Story not real though in reality, you need no one to tell you to let go of your past relationship with him and move on with your life...
You ain't a wife material according to him, but he and his family love you all of a sudden is suspicious

AdisGlobal01:
SHE_NEEDS_YOUR_ADVICE

My wedding was scheduled for March this year, but everything changed after my fiancé's father passed away unexpectedly in November.

His funeral was held just three weeks later, in December. I genuinely wanted to attend, but there was one major problem: my employer had a strict policy against granting leave during the December holiday period. When I accepted the job, this condition was clearly stated. Despite explaining my situation and pleading for an exception, my request was denied.

I informed my fiancé immediately. At first, he appeared understanding. I even contributed financially to support the funeral arrangements.

Then his mother called.

She told me that if I truly wanted to become part of their family, I had to be physically present at her husband's funeral. I tried explaining my circumstances, but she ended the call before I could finish.

When I called my fiancé afterward, I expected him to stand by me. Instead, he asked:

"If it were your own father, wouldn't you find a way to attend?"

I explained that the situations were different because my employer might make an exception if it were my immediate family member.

That was when he dropped the bombshell:

"No presence. No wedding."

I thought grief was speaking. I thought time would calm him down.

I was wrong.

The wedding was officially cancelled.

My family tried everything to reconcile the situation, but his family refused every attempt. Eventually, my father advised me to accept the loss and move forward with my life.

It broke me, but I did.

Months passed.

Then, on May 20th, my ex-fiancé called me.

What he said left me speechless.

According to him, I had failed the test of being a good wife because I stopped trying to convince his family after the wedding was cancelled. He said a "real wife" would have kept begging until she was accepted.

Then he announced that he had "forgiven" me.

Not only that, he had already chosen a new wedding date in August and expected me to start preparing immediately.

As if the breakup had never happened.

As if my feelings didn't matter.

As if he alone had the authority to decide when a relationship ends—and when it resumes.

Without hesitation, I told him I was no longer interested.

His response shocked me even more.

He said:

"I'm not done. You don't have the right to be done."

I blocked his number immediately.

But that wasn't the end.

A few days later, he appeared at my father's house carrying the bride price and all the marriage items he had previously rejected.

My father told him clearly:

"My daughter has moved on. As far as this family is concerned, she is no longer available."

Still, he refused to accept it.

Since then, he and his mother have continued calling, visiting, and pressuring both me and my family despite my repeated refusal.

Now I'm beginning to wonder:

Is this really about love, or is there something deeper behind their sudden determination?

What troubles me most is the mindset that someone can cancel a wedding, disappear for months, return when it suits them, and expect another person to simply obey.

I am now considering legal action because the constant calls, visits, and refusal to respect my decision are becoming disturbing.

My question is:

If someone ends a relationship, then later decides to "forgive" you and resume the wedding without your consent, would you see that as love... or as a dangerous sense of entitlement?

What would you do if you were in my shoes?

You are dating a baby

I remembered leaving a girl cos she was giving attitude cos I didn't attend her mum's burial

Na bf I be ...I no be her husband

So na gf you be, you no be his wife

I don't see the problem. Why not arrange for yourself a wedding and marry yourself if he doesn't marry you?

Nne, abeg forward ever, backwards never .

The guy was even stupid to have called you back and ask for your useless hand in marriage, if it was your father who died or you suddenly fell sick at work, wont you be given leave? That guy is suffering from scarcity mindset, you are not a good woman to begin with, plus you also have a bad family. Good riddance

AdisGlobal01:
SHE_NEEDS_YOUR_ADVICE

My wedding was scheduled for March this year, but everything changed after my fiancé's father passed away unexpectedly in November.

His funeral was held just three weeks later, in December. I genuinely wanted to attend, but there was one major problem: my employer had a strict policy against granting leave during the December holiday period. When I accepted the job, this condition was clearly stated. Despite explaining my situation and pleading for an exception, my request was denied.

I informed my fiancé immediately. At first, he appeared understanding. I even contributed financially to support the funeral arrangements.

Then his mother called.

She told me that if I truly wanted to become part of their family, I had to be physically present at her husband's funeral. I tried explaining my circumstances, but she ended the call before I could finish.

When I called my fiancé afterward, I expected him to stand by me. Instead, he asked:

"If it were your own father, wouldn't you find a way to attend?"

I explained that the situations were different because my employer might make an exception if it were my immediate family member.

That was when he dropped the bombshell:

"No presence. No wedding."

I thought grief was speaking. I thought time would calm him down.

I was wrong.

The wedding was officially cancelled.

My family tried everything to reconcile the situation, but his family refused every attempt. Eventually, my father advised me to accept the loss and move forward with my life.

It broke me, but I did.

Months passed.

Then, on May 20th, my ex-fiancé called me.

What he said left me speechless.

According to him, I had failed the test of being a good wife because I stopped trying to convince his family after the wedding was cancelled. He said a "real wife" would have kept begging until she was accepted.

Then he announced that he had "forgiven" me.

Not only that, he had already chosen a new wedding date in August and expected me to start preparing immediately.

As if the breakup had never happened.

As if my feelings didn't matter.

As if he alone had the authority to decide when a relationship ends—and when it resumes.

Without hesitation, I told him I was no longer interested.

His response shocked me even more.

He said:

"I'm not done. You don't have the right to be done."

I blocked his number immediately.

But that wasn't the end.

A few days later, he appeared at my father's house carrying the bride price and all the marriage items he had previously rejected.

My father told him clearly:

"My daughter has moved on. As far as this family is concerned, she is no longer available."

Still, he refused to accept it.

Since then, he and his mother have continued calling, visiting, and pressuring both me and my family despite my repeated refusal.

Now I'm beginning to wonder:

Is this really about love, or is there something deeper behind their sudden determination?

What troubles me most is the mindset that someone can cancel a wedding, disappear for months, return when it suits them, and expect another person to simply obey.

I am now considering legal action because the constant calls, visits, and refusal to respect my decision are becoming disturbing.

My question is:

If someone ends a relationship, then later decides to "forgive" you and resume the wedding without your consent, would you see that as love... or as a dangerous sense of entitlement?

What would you do if you were in my shoes?

No one is talking about the job who wouldn't give a staff 1 or 2 days to go respect the dead, or was that just a story the op added to make her side of the story looks good. NIGERIANS are already jumping into conclusions, insulting the guy in the story and his family without hearing the full picture or hearing from the workplace and the guy. Typical Nigerians, very easy to manipulate. I blamed the guy for even thinking of coming back

AdisGlobal01:
SHE_NEEDS_YOUR_ADVICE

My wedding was scheduled for March this year, but everything changed after my fiancé's father passed away unexpectedly in November.

His funeral was held just three weeks later, in December. I genuinely wanted to attend, but there was one major problem: my employer had a strict policy against granting leave during the December holiday period. When I accepted the job, this condition was clearly stated. Despite explaining my situation and pleading for an exception, my request was denied.

I informed my fiancé immediately. At first, he appeared understanding. I even contributed financially to support the funeral arrangements.

Then his mother called.

She told me that if I truly wanted to become part of their family, I had to be physically present at her husband's funeral. I tried explaining my circumstances, but she ended the call before I could finish.

When I called my fiancé afterward, I expected him to stand by me. Instead, he asked:

"If it were your own father, wouldn't you find a way to attend?"

I explained that the situations were different because my employer might make an exception if it were my immediate family member.

That was when he dropped the bombshell:

"No presence. No wedding."

I thought grief was speaking. I thought time would calm him down.

I was wrong.

The wedding was officially cancelled.

My family tried everything to reconcile the situation, but his family refused every attempt. Eventually, my father advised me to accept the loss and move forward with my life.

It broke me, but I did.

Months passed.

Then, on May 20th, my ex-fiancé called me.

What he said left me speechless.

According to him, I had failed the test of being a good wife because I stopped trying to convince his family after the wedding was cancelled. He said a "real wife" would have kept begging until she was accepted.

Then he announced that he had "forgiven" me.

Not only that, he had already chosen a new wedding date in August and expected me to start preparing immediately.

As if the breakup had never happened.

As if my feelings didn't matter.

As if he alone had the authority to decide when a relationship ends—and when it resumes.

Without hesitation, I told him I was no longer interested.

His response shocked me even more.

He said:

"I'm not done. You don't have the right to be done."

I blocked his number immediately.

But that wasn't the end.

A few days later, he appeared at my father's house carrying the bride price and all the marriage items he had previously rejected.

My father told him clearly:

"My daughter has moved on. As far as this family is concerned, she is no longer available."

Still, he refused to accept it.

Since then, he and his mother have continued calling, visiting, and pressuring both me and my family despite my repeated refusal.

Now I'm beginning to wonder:

Is this really about love, or is there something deeper behind their sudden determination?

What troubles me most is the mindset that someone can cancel a wedding, disappear for months, return when it suits them, and expect another person to simply obey.

I am now considering legal action because the constant calls, visits, and refusal to respect my decision are becoming disturbing.

My question is:

If someone ends a relationship, then later decides to "forgive" you and resume the wedding without your consent, would you see that as love... or as a dangerous sense of entitlement?

What would you do if you were in my shoes?

You dourged a bullet there, Congratulations

My advice to the male folks on this group is, make money make no modaf*****king nigga somewhere no come use Ur daughter play your family like football

From the story
The story teller comes from a very humble background while the story itself comes from a more affluent family. Niggas from rich family feel and treat the ones from humble home as slaves. They feel superior to the other always, they are full of ego and everything about the story is what we call see finish

Because of stories like this and embarrassment that comes, i have given so much to my family. I just done with one of my brothers through the University (petroleum engineering) the other girl is in year 2, pharmacy all finances from me cos I believe there's no me without my family. Whose that respect me must respect my family.

Fake story!

Foodqueen:
That guy might kill you for refusing him.

Report him to the police asap.

so true I read a news from facebook where a guy in Lagos sent people to attack his girlfriend with acid because she broke up a toxic relationship the perpetrators mistook the originally intended lady for her staff(apprentice)and ended up dousing her with the acid instead.

The ex fiancee owns a spa the police hasn't prosecuted the boyfriend because he is from a well to do family!

AdisGlobal01:
SHE_NEEDS_YOUR_ADVICE

My wedding was scheduled for March this year, but everything changed after my fiancé's father passed away unexpectedly in November.

His funeral was held just three weeks later, in December. I genuinely wanted to attend, but there was one major problem: my employer had a strict policy against granting leave during the December holiday period. When I accepted the job, this condition was clearly stated. Despite explaining my situation and pleading for an exception, my request was denied.

I informed my fiancé immediately. At first, he appeared understanding. I even contributed financially to support the funeral arrangements.

Then his mother called.

She told me that if I truly wanted to become part of their family, I had to be physically present at her husband's funeral. I tried explaining my circumstances, but she ended the call before I could finish.

When I called my fiancé afterward, I expected him to stand by me. Instead, he asked:

"If it were your own father, wouldn't you find a way to attend?"

I explained that the situations were different because my employer might make an exception if it were my immediate family member.

That was when he dropped the bombshell:

"No presence. No wedding."

I thought grief was speaking. I thought time would calm him down.

I was wrong.

The wedding was officially cancelled.

My family tried everything to reconcile the situation, but his family refused every attempt. Eventually, my father advised me to accept the loss and move forward with my life.

It broke me, but I did.

Months passed.

Then, on May 20th, my ex-fiancé called me.

What he said left me speechless.

According to him, I had failed the test of being a good wife because I stopped trying to convince his family after the wedding was cancelled. He said a "real wife" would have kept begging until she was accepted.

Then he announced that he had "forgiven" me.

Not only that, he had already chosen a new wedding date in August and expected me to start preparing immediately.

As if the breakup had never happened.

As if my feelings didn't matter.

As if he alone had the authority to decide when a relationship ends—and when it resumes.

Without hesitation, I told him I was no longer interested.

His response shocked me even more.

He said:

"I'm not done. You don't have the right to be done."

I blocked his number immediately.

But that wasn't the end.

A few days later, he appeared at my father's house carrying the bride price and all the marriage items he had previously rejected.

My father told him clearly:

"My daughter has moved on. As far as this family is concerned, she is no longer available."

Still, he refused to accept it.

Since then, he and his mother have continued calling, visiting, and pressuring both me and my family despite my repeated refusal.

Now I'm beginning to wonder:

Is this really about love, or is there something deeper behind their sudden determination?

What troubles me most is the mindset that someone can cancel a wedding, disappear for months, return when it suits them, and expect another person to simply obey.

I am now considering legal action because the constant calls, visits, and refusal to respect my decision are becoming disturbing.

My question is:

If someone ends a relationship, then later decides to "forgive" you and resume the wedding without your consent, would you see that as love... or as a dangerous sense of entitlement?

What would you do if you were in my shoes?

Is good to forgive and reunite if you really know that both of you ever loved each other

Lady if u like ur life. Change we're u are living asap. That's a stalker in the making. Beta advice urself before that man use azcid advice ur face and body. Change ur location, ur address, ur number.

gr8cany:
I expected you to had resigned that work in agreement with him instead of missing your "father in proxy" burial but both of seems not to be in true love which is the trend today, eyes are always open at either ends.

My conclusion about you is that you are very wicked and u sacrificial. Your ex is more wicked, weakling and not man enough.

Inform him directly that you will get him into the law court which will be more embarrassing if he don't leave you alone.

The relationship is shattered and will be devastating if you guys later come together again. Move on as already and urge his stupid ass to move on forever too

She should resign a job in this tinubuconomy because of a guy who may not later marry her?or you think because they are alredy engaged means they may end up marrying?as him be the only guy for naija now

AdisGlobal01:
SHE_NEEDS_YOUR_ADVICE

My wedding was scheduled for March this year, but everything changed after my fiancé's father passed away unexpectedly in November.

His funeral was held just three weeks later, in December. I genuinely wanted to attend, but there was one major problem: my employer had a strict policy against granting leave during the December holiday period. When I accepted the job, this condition was clearly stated. Despite explaining my situation and pleading for an exception, my request was denied.

I informed my fiancé immediately. At first, he appeared understanding. I even contributed financially to support the funeral arrangements.

Then his mother called.

She told me that if I truly wanted to become part of their family, I had to be physically present at her husband's funeral. I tried explaining my circumstances, but she ended the call before I could finish.

When I called my fiancé afterward, I expected him to stand by me. Instead, he asked:

"If it were your own father, wouldn't you find a way to attend?"

I explained that the situations were different because my employer might make an exception if it were my immediate family member.

That was when he dropped the bombshell:

"No presence. No wedding."

I thought grief was speaking. I thought time would calm him down.

I was wrong.

The wedding was officially cancelled.

My family tried everything to reconcile the situation, but his family refused every attempt. Eventually, my father advised me to accept the loss and move forward with my life.

It broke me, but I did.

Months passed.

Then, on May 20th, my ex-fiancé called me.

What he said left me speechless.

According to him, I had failed the test of being a good wife because I stopped trying to convince his family after the wedding was cancelled. He said a "real wife" would have kept begging until she was accepted.

Then he announced that he had "forgiven" me.

Not only that, he had already chosen a new wedding date in August and expected me to start preparing immediately.

As if the breakup had never happened.

As if my feelings didn't matter.

As if he alone had the authority to decide when a relationship ends—and when it resumes.

Without hesitation, I told him I was no longer interested.

His response shocked me even more.

He said:

"I'm not done. You don't have the right to be done."

I blocked his number immediately.

But that wasn't the end.

A few days later, he appeared at my father's house carrying the bride price and all the marriage items he had previously rejected.

My father told him clearly:

"My daughter has moved on. As far as this family is concerned, she is no longer available."

Still, he refused to accept it.

Since then, he and his mother have continued calling, visiting, and pressuring both me and my family despite my repeated refusal.

Now I'm beginning to wonder:

Is this really about love, or is there something deeper behind their sudden determination?

What troubles me most is the mindset that someone can cancel a wedding, disappear for months, return when it suits them, and expect another person to simply obey.

I am now considering legal action because the constant calls, visits, and refusal to respect my decision are becoming disturbing.

My question is:

If someone ends a relationship, then later decides to "forgive" you and resume the wedding without your consent, would you see that as love... or as a dangerous sense of entitlement?

What would you do if you were in my shoes?

If he was your father would you have attended smdeaoits all odds? Here lies the moral justification or codemination anyone most suitable.

Why should you miss such in a family you wanna be part of. I'd do the same if I'm your spouse to be.
However, I will never recall you back once decision is taken because you could have requested for a sick leave to enable you be part of the burial. A sick employee is entitled to a leave
As for the family calling you back, it's cowardice and undeserving of them having taking the final decision to cancel the wedding

Tales by moonlight...

kiddaz:
I didn't even bother reading everything because the reality is if it was your mom or dad that died there would definitely had been no excuse, so if he thinks you don't value or rate him enough to make sacrifices then maybe you don't really do and you should look elsewhere too. People make time for what they really care about. oaky I have finished it due to some comments and then your question:



It's not love, you are both clearly not compatible. Like I said previously. Really move on and forget about them

Is she the owner of the company she works in that she can give herself a leave of absence anyhow and at anytime?many multi national companies don't give people leave anyhow in December my sister works in this multi national corporation that audits taxes and accounts for Lagos state government the acronym starts with I I can't remember the name now. in 2019 she wasn't allowed in her place of work to attend our paternal grandpa's funeral in ekiti it was December 13th same reason was also given to her.

Ex

AdisGlobal01:
SHE_NEEDS_YOUR_ADVICE

My wedding was scheduled for March this year, but everything changed after my fiancé's father passed away unexpectedly in November.

His funeral was held just three weeks later, in December. I genuinely wanted to attend, but there was one major problem: my employer had a strict policy against granting leave during the December holiday period. When I accepted the job, this condition was clearly stated. Despite explaining my situation and pleading for an exception, my request was denied.

I informed my fiancé immediately. At first, he appeared understanding. I even contributed financially to support the funeral arrangements.

Then his mother called.

She told me that if I truly wanted to become part of their family, I had to be physically present at her husband's funeral. I tried explaining my circumstances, but she ended the call before I could finish.

When I called my fiancé afterward, I expected him to stand by me. Instead, he asked:

"If it were your own father, wouldn't you find a way to attend?"

I explained that the situations were different because my employer might make an exception if it were my immediate family member.

That was when he dropped the bombshell:

"No presence. No wedding."

I thought grief was speaking. I thought time would calm him down.

I was wrong.

The wedding was officially cancelled.

My family tried everything to reconcile the situation, but his family refused every attempt. Eventually, my father advised me to accept the loss and move forward with my life.

It broke me, but I did.

Months passed.

Then, on May 20th, my ex-fiancé called me.

What he said left me speechless.

According to him, I had failed the test of being a good wife because I stopped trying to convince his family after the wedding was cancelled. He said a "real wife" would have kept begging until she was accepted.

Then he announced that he had "forgiven" me.

Not only that, he had already chosen a new wedding date in August and expected me to start preparing immediately.

As if the breakup had never happened.

As if my feelings didn't matter.

As if he alone had the authority to decide when a relationship ends—and when it resumes.

Without hesitation, I told him I was no longer interested.

His response shocked me even more.

He said:

"I'm not done. You don't have the right to be done."

I blocked his number immediately.

But that wasn't the end.

A few days later, he appeared at my father's house carrying the bride price and all the marriage items he had previously rejected.

My father told him clearly:

"My daughter has moved on. As far as this family is concerned, she is no longer available."

Still, he refused to accept it.

Since then, he and his mother have continued calling, visiting, and pressuring both me and my family despite my repeated refusal.

Now I'm beginning to wonder:

Is this really about love, or is there something deeper behind their sudden determination?

What troubles me most is the mindset that someone can cancel a wedding, disappear for months, return when it suits them, and expect another person to simply obey.

I am now considering legal action because the constant calls, visits, and refusal to respect my decision are becoming disturbing.

My question is:

If someone ends a relationship, then later decides to "forgive" you and resume the wedding without your consent, would you see that as love... or as a dangerous sense of entitlement?

What would you do if you were in my shoes?

Should show you how your in-laws would be after the wedding. They are already obnoxious before the I do. Imagine how nasty they will be after

All these sudden cancelling of marriages that we hear,did the people love each other or they simply just wanted to be married for the point of it.Crazy excuses every now and then.

I hate this kind of staged story honestly. It pisses me off. But if it's a true story, then your lucky your not even my sister, because you sef for fear wetin I go do you. Are you high? What other sign do you need to know that these individuals are up to something? Na so dem dey love person? With threats sef after everything? God punish satan. If I dey that family, walahiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii🔥🔥🔥🔥, that guy will never come near my father's house, talk of say e Wan come bring bride price, shey na werey dey worry am? Mchew, this life sef.

Abegiii, move on and bless God that your destiny was not mortgaged. Marry fire, banzaaaaa

AdisGlobal01:
SHE_NEEDS_YOUR_ADVICE

My wedding was scheduled for March this year, but everything changed after my fiancé's father passed away unexpectedly in November.

His funeral was held just three weeks later, in December. I genuinely wanted to attend, but there was one major problem: my employer had a strict policy against granting leave during the December holiday period. When I accepted the job, this condition was clearly stated. Despite explaining my situation and pleading for an exception, my request was denied.

I informed my fiancé immediately. At first, he appeared understanding. I even contributed financially to support the funeral arrangements.

Then his mother called.

She told me that if I truly wanted to become part of their family, I had to be physically present at her husband's funeral. I tried explaining my circumstances, but she ended the call before I could finish.

When I called my fiancé afterward, I expected him to stand by me. Instead, he asked:

"If it were your own father, wouldn't you find a way to attend?"

I explained that the situations were different because my employer might make an exception if it were my immediate family member.

That was when he dropped the bombshell:

"No presence. No wedding."

I thought grief was speaking. I thought time would calm him down.

I was wrong.

The wedding was officially cancelled.

My family tried everything to reconcile the situation, but his family refused every attempt. Eventually, my father advised me to accept the loss and move forward with my life.

It broke me, but I did.

Months passed.

Then, on May 20th, my ex-fiancé called me.

What he said left me speechless.

According to him, I had failed the test of being a good wife because I stopped trying to convince his family after the wedding was cancelled. He said a "real wife" would have kept begging until she was accepted.

Then he announced that he had "forgiven" me.

Not only that, he had already chosen a new wedding date in August and expected me to start preparing immediately.

As if the breakup had never happened.

As if my feelings didn't matter.

As if he alone had the authority to decide when a relationship ends—and when it resumes.

Without hesitation, I told him I was no longer interested.

His response shocked me even more.

He said:

"I'm not done. You don't have the right to be done."

I blocked his number immediately.

But that wasn't the end.

A few days later, he appeared at my father's house carrying the bride price and all the marriage items he had previously rejected.

My father told him clearly:

"My daughter has moved on. As far as this family is concerned, she is no longer available."

Still, he refused to accept it.

Since then, he and his mother have continued calling, visiting, and pressuring both me and my family despite my repeated refusal.

Now I'm beginning to wonder:

Is this really about love, or is there something deeper behind their sudden determination?

What troubles me most is the mindset that someone can cancel a wedding, disappear for months, return when it suits them, and expect another person to simply obey.

I am now considering legal action because the constant calls, visits, and refusal to respect my decision are becoming disturbing.

My question is:

If someone ends a relationship, then later decides to "forgive" you and resume the wedding without your consent, would you see that as love... or as a dangerous sense of entitlement?

What would you do if you were in my shoes?

This is not a question of who is wrong or who is right ! These are lifetime decisions one must get right or you endup regretting.

You are lost in a Maze nd only you can get yourself out asking your deep question you must answer sincerely

1. Do you still love this guy as before

2. what can of man is he, is he open minded or petty ... this is important so you know post marriage what living with him wil be like

3 .. Seek God guidances, is he the man for you or not. If you know how to talk to God, very important

Na my own 2cent be that, press ur stomach well before you close that door

Gotocourt:
Eventually, my father advised me to accept the loss and move forward with my life.

🤷🏿

I miss HINTS MAGAZINE & HEARTS MAGAZINE

AdisGlobal01:
SHE_NEEDS_YOUR_ADVICE

My wedding was scheduled for March this year, but everything changed after my fiancé's father passed away unexpectedly in November.

His funeral was held just three weeks later, in December. I genuinely wanted to attend, but there was one major problem: my employer had a strict policy against granting leave during the December holiday period. When I accepted the job, this condition was clearly stated. Despite explaining my situation and pleading for an exception, my request was denied.

I informed my fiancé immediately. At first, he appeared understanding. I even contributed financially to support the funeral arrangements.

Then his mother called.

She told me that if I truly wanted to become part of their family, I had to be physically present at her husband's funeral. I tried explaining my circumstances, but she ended the call before I could finish.

When I called my fiancé afterward, I expected him to stand by me. Instead, he asked:

"If it were your own father, wouldn't you find a way to attend?"

I explained that the situations were different because my employer might make an exception if it were my immediate family member.

That was when he dropped the bombshell:

"No presence. No wedding."

I thought grief was speaking. I thought time would calm him down.

I was wrong.

The wedding was officially cancelled.

My family tried everything to reconcile the situation, but his family refused every attempt. Eventually, my father advised me to accept the loss and move forward with my life.

It broke me, but I did.

Months passed.

Then, on May 20th, my ex-fiancé called me.

What he said left me speechless.

According to him, I had failed the test of being a good wife because I stopped trying to convince his family after the wedding was cancelled. He said a "real wife" would have kept begging until she was accepted.

Then he announced that he had "forgiven" me.

Not only that, he had already chosen a new wedding date in August and expected me to start preparing immediately.

As if the breakup had never happened.

As if my feelings didn't matter.

As if he alone had the authority to decide when a relationship ends—and when it resumes.

Without hesitation, I told him I was no longer interested.

His response shocked me even more.

He said:

"I'm not done. You don't have the right to be done."

I blocked his number immediately.

But that wasn't the end.

A few days later, he appeared at my father's house carrying the bride price and all the marriage items he had previously rejected.

My father told him clearly:

"My daughter has moved on. As far as this family is concerned, she is no longer available."

Still, he refused to accept it.

Since then, he and his mother have continued calling, visiting, and pressuring both me and my family despite my repeated refusal.

Now I'm beginning to wonder:

Is this really about love, or is there something deeper behind their sudden determination?

What troubles me most is the mindset that someone can cancel a wedding, disappear for months, return when it suits them, and expect another person to simply obey.

I am now considering legal action because the constant calls, visits, and refusal to respect my decision are becoming disturbing.

My question is:

If someone ends a relationship, then later decides to "forgive" you and resume the wedding without your consent, would you see that as love... or as a dangerous sense of entitlement?

What would you do if you were in my shoes?

Perhaps you didn't explain the situation to your employers very well because I don't see any reason they will denied you of attending such sensitive occasions like your dear fiance father burial. The father of the person you had fixed date of wedding with? The father of the person you intend to spend the rest of your life with? You ought to have treated it as if it was your own father.

Well, maybe you are just one unserious girl in the office they don't expect to have a serious guy to marry. Even at that, you could have just given your boss some excuses.

My takes; if you truly wants to attend, you will surely do so regardless of your office rules. Just learn from this and move on with your life.

A few days later, he appeared at my father's house carrying the bride price and all the marriage items he had previously rejected.

My father told him clearly:

"My daughter has moved on. As far as this family is concerned, she is no longer available."

Still, he refused to accept it.


This part if the story got me scratching my head. I do not understand. He carried the bride price he had previously rejected and he still refused to accept it.??

You should have attended the burial

Marry him and see she from all angles...

Your eye go peel.

You better follow your dad's advice

edogu:
This is the type of marriage proposal that's referred to as 'jump and pass'. If the narration is true then the op needs to go for thanksgiving. God just delivered her from family of narcissists. It's always all about them. Your interest doesn't matter to them. It's always about me, me and me.

Dont just conclude He is a narcissists, put yourself in the Guy shoe

@your father burial, the woman you want to marry will not be present cos of her job ... even if you understand her its still going to hurt

I want to guess, the Guy gave her that condition not becos he wants to cancel buh to scare her hoping she will force her way to come ... Which might also be interpreted to I prioritize "US"

She is speaking from her own angle, we havent heard the Guy, till today it stil hurt me that my best friend didnt cum to my father burial ... this is someone i will travel to sokoto for, if na there he wan do birthday. We are humans afterall

My advise to the lady is before you throw away what you have in your hands, be sure naa tissue paper or Tinubu 2027 flier

They are not serious, she should resign from her job just to attend a funeral? What if after attending the funeral the guy still does not marry her? What if the husband stayed abroad and had not gotten his papers will he decide to still come to naija knowing he wount be able to return to his life abroad? One of my guys, an only child lost his dad some years back, a guy who loved his dad so much, the burial was done without him being around, many years later he is yet to even see his father grave, has heaven fallen? Not to talk of someone who is not his father.
That guy's father is not hers so why make a big deal of her not attending the burial? The man and his family are very very petty.
No sane parent with a proper family will take that fellow and his mother seriously enough to allow their daughter to marry from such the yeye family. You yourself will you encourage your daughter to marry into such family? Yeah unless the girl is from a poor, hungry home without self respect.

Thank God that the March wedding did not happen. The guy's family is horrible!

The guy felt he was granting you and your family a favor by marrying him.
Now, they felt belittled that's why they are trying hard to get you in other to teach you a lesson of your life in the future.

They H8TE you beyond measure. If you fall into the trap, you nay not be able to explain in words the shege that you will see.