₦airaland Forum

I met this lady in my estate sometime in 2022. We exchanged numbers, but we never really had the time to hang out back then. Sometime in May this year, I saw her number in one of my old iCloud accounts and decided to give her a call. She picked up, but she didn’t seem to remember me—in her own words, because we used to only see each other on the road before she moved out of the estate.

We chose a date and location to hang out, and it all went well. We had a great conversation, and since then, we have been calling and texting each other. We went on a second outing, and she asked me a question that I actually expected of her: what did I really want from her? I told her that my days of playing games are over, and that I need a friend, a partner, and someone I can build a relationship with. In turn, she told me that she hadn’t given relationships a chance since her last one ended two years ago. She also mentioned that she doesn't want to have too much history with men, which is why she has been trying to protect herself.

Since then, things have been cool. We talked on the phone almost every day, and everything was going well between us. However, I noticed she asked a lot of questions, but whenever I asked her something, she was always reluctant to answer. I told her what I do for a living and where I work, but she would only tell me her job title, never the name or location of her workplace. I didn’t really have a problem with that, though.

A few weeks ago, she called me in the evening, crying on the phone, and told me she had just been informed that her dad passed away. Being the kind of person I am, I have never really had anyone close to me lose a loved one where I had to console them. I just told her, "May his soul rest in peace," promised to call her the next day, and hung up. Due to work stress, I didn't end up calling her until the third day. I noticed she wasn't really responding the way I expected, and after some questioning, she opened up. She said she hadn't expected me to just end the call like that on the night she found out, as she really needed someone to talk to, and then I didn't check back until three days later. I apologized and explained to her that it wasn't intentional—I just didn't know what else to say and wanted to avoid repeating words or rambling, which might not be comforting to someone grieving.

We eventually agreed that I could come for her dad’s wake-keep and burial. Initially, she only wanted me to attend the wake-keep because her family's village is far from her hometown and she didn’t want to put me through the stress. But I insisted that the stress would be worth it, especially since I would be experiencing a burial ceremony for the first time in my life. The wake-keep and burial were scheduled for last week Thursday and Friday, respectively.

God bears me witness, I had fully prepared my mind to travel. But on Wednesday evening around 5:00 PM, one of our clients called stating they were in the middle of a time-sensitive project, one of their services was down, and it needed urgent fixing. Normally, I could have resolved this remotely, but traveling from Abuja to an unfamiliar village where I wasn’t sure if there would be a network connection was a risk I wasn't willing to take. So, I picked up my phone, summoned the courage, and told her I wouldn’t be able to come as scheduled. In the middle of my explanation, she cut me off, saying she already knew I wasn’t coming. She said if I had genuinely planned to come, I would have been checking in with her since that morning. Because she hadn't heard from me all day, she had already concluded I decided not to show up. Then she told me, “I don’t think this whole relationship thing will work. You should just forget about everything and have a good life ahead of you.” I asked, "Just like that?" and she said yes. I wished her a good life ahead too, and ended the call.

After 20 minutes, I messaged her asking for her account details. She sent them, and I transferred some cash to her. She messaged me the next morning, thanking me very much. Why I sent the money, I can't really tell, but it genuinely calmed my temper down.

Since then, I have been calling and texting her, but she hasn't responded. However, I noticed she called me twice on Saturday, but I wasn't close to my phone. Since then, I’ve been calling her twice every day and dropping messages, but getting no response. I called her yesterday, and luckily, she picked up. I asked if she was back, but she said she was still in the village. I asked if she could talk, and she said yes. But as I was trying to explain myself and apologize, not even 30 seconds into the call, the line dropped. I called back and it was switched off. I called again later in the evening, but there was no response.

I really like her, and I want her to know it wasn't intentional, but honestly, I am feeling exhausted.

Bro move on with your life. Cuz there's nothing you'll do that will make her Change her view about you.

Sometimes, physical appearance matters alot more than money. The first mistake you made was on the first day she called you to inform you of her dad's demise, only for you to end the call on her . It doesn't really matter if you're a mortician (mortuary attendant) or not If truly you value your friendship with her,at least you'd have created time out of your busy schedule to speak with and console her.

Even on the day of the funeral,you still came up with an excuse, just to escape from attending . If I were to be that banny, I'd have done the same thing too.

Flana:
I met this lady in my estate sometime in 2022. We exchanged numbers, but we never really had the time to hang out back then. Sometime in May this year, I saw her number in one of my old iCloud accounts and decided to give her a call. She picked up, but she didn’t seem to remember me—in her own words, because we used to only see each other on the road before she moved out of the estate.

We chose a date and location to hang out, and it all went well. We had a great conversation, and since then, we have been calling and texting each other. We went on a second outing, and she asked me a question that I actually expected of her: what did I really want from her? I told her that my days of playing games are over, and that I need a friend, a partner, and someone I can build a relationship with. In turn, she told me that she hadn’t given relationships a chance since her last one ended two years ago. She also mentioned that she doesn't want to have too much history with men, which is why she has been trying to protect herself.

Since then, things have been cool. We talked on the phone almost every day, and everything was going well between us. However, I noticed she asked a lot of questions, but whenever I asked her something, she was always reluctant to answer. I told her what I do for a living and where I work, but she would only tell me her job title, never the name or location of her workplace. I didn’t really have a problem with that, though.

A few weeks ago, she called me in the evening, crying on the phone, and told me she had just been informed that her dad passed away. Being the kind of person I am, I have never really had anyone close to me lose a loved one where I had to console them. I just told her, "May his soul rest in peace," promised to call her the next day, and hung up. Due to work stress, I didn't end up calling her until the third day. I noticed she wasn't really responding the way I expected, and after some questioning, she opened up. She said she hadn't expected me to just end the call like that on the night she found out, as she really needed someone to talk to, and then I didn't check back until three days later. I apologized and explained to her that it wasn't intentional—I just didn't know what else to say and wanted to avoid repeating words or rambling, which might not be comforting to someone grieving.

We eventually agreed that I could come for her dad’s wake-keep and burial. Initially, she only wanted me to attend the wake-keep because her family's village is far from her hometown and she didn’t want to put me through the stress. But I insisted that the stress would be worth it, especially since I would be experiencing a burial ceremony for the first time in my life. The wake-keep and burial were scheduled for last week Thursday and Friday, respectively.

God bears me witness, I had fully prepared my mind to travel. But on Wednesday evening around 5:00 PM, one of our clients called stating they were in the middle of a time-sensitive project, one of their services was down, and it needed urgent fixing. Normally, I could have resolved this remotely, but traveling from Abuja to an unfamiliar village where I wasn’t sure if there would be a network connection was a risk I wasn't willing to take. So, I picked up my phone, summoned the courage, and told her I wouldn’t be able to come as scheduled. In the middle of my explanation, she cut me off, saying she already knew I wasn’t coming. She said if I had genuinely planned to come, I would have been checking in with her since that morning. Because she hadn't heard from me all day, she had already concluded I decided not to show up. Then she told me, “I don’t think this whole relationship thing will work. You should just forget about everything and have a good life ahead of you.” I asked, "Just like that?" and she said yes. I wished her a good life ahead too, and ended the call.

After 20 minutes, I messaged her asking for her account details. She sent them, and I transferred some cash to her. She messaged me the next morning, thanking me very much. Why I sent the money, I can't really tell, but it genuinely calmed my temper down.

Since then, I have been calling and texting her, but she hasn't responded. However, I noticed she called me twice on Saturday, but I wasn't close to my phone. Since then, I’ve been calling her twice every day and dropping messages, but getting no response. I called her yesterday, and luckily, she picked up. I asked if she was back, but she said she was still in the village. I asked if she could talk, and she said yes. But as I was trying to explain myself and apologize, not even 30 seconds into the call, the line dropped. I called back and it was switched off. I called again later in the evening, but there was no response.

I really like her, and I want her to know it wasn't intentional, but honestly, I am feeling exhausted.

Im not understanding….. u ddnt get to the part where she called it off….

Then she told me, “I don’t think this whole relationship thing will work. You should just forget about everything and have a good life ahead of you.” I asked, "Just like that?" and she said yes. I wished her a good life ahead too, and ended the call.

WatchYourSix:
Im not understanding….. u ddnt get to the pet where she called it off….

Flana:
Then she told me, “I don’t think this whole relationship thing will work. You should just forget about everything and have a good life ahead of you.” I asked, "Just like that?" and she said yes. I wished her a good life ahead too, and ended the call.

Well.. she either made the decision out of her grieving emotional state or out of expecting more from you… or both… which is normal women entitlement nature..

Anyways…. Just let cool down … maybe after two weeks invite her to dinner …..if she says no… then let her be jarè…

They’ve switched gender in this story?

Flana:
I met this lady in my estate sometime in 2022. We exchanged numbers, but we never really had the time to hang out back then. Sometime in May this year, I saw her number in one of my old iCloud accounts and decided to give her a call. She picked up, but she didn’t seem to remember me—in her own words, because we used to only see each other on the road before she moved out of the estate.

We chose a date and location to hang out, and it all went well. We had a great conversation, and since then, we have been calling and texting each other. We went on a second outing, and she asked me a question that I actually expected of her: what did I really want from her? I told her that my days of playing games are over, and that I need a friend, a partner, and someone I can build a relationship with. In turn, she told me that she hadn’t given relationships a chance since her last one ended two years ago. She also mentioned that she doesn't want to have too much history with men, which is why she has been trying to protect herself.

Since then, things have been cool. We talked on the phone almost every day, and everything was going well between us. However, I noticed she asked a lot of questions, but whenever I asked her something, she was always reluctant to answer. I told her what I do for a living and where I work, but she would only tell me her job title, never the name or location of her workplace. I didn’t really have a problem with that, though.

A few weeks ago, she called me in the evening, crying on the phone, and told me she had just been informed that her dad passed away. Being the kind of person I am, I have never really had anyone close to me lose a loved one where I had to console them. I just told her, "May his soul rest in peace," promised to call her the next day, and hung up. Due to work stress, I didn't end up calling her until the third day. I noticed she wasn't really responding the way I expected, and after some questioning, she opened up. She said she hadn't expected me to just end the call like that on the night she found out, as she really needed someone to talk to, and then I didn't check back until three days later. I apologized and explained to her that it wasn't intentional—I just didn't know what else to say and wanted to avoid repeating words or rambling, which might not be comforting to someone grieving.

We eventually agreed that I could come for her dad’s wake-keep and burial. Initially, she only wanted me to attend the wake-keep because her family's village is far from her hometown and she didn’t want to put me through the stress. But I insisted that the stress would be worth it, especially since I would be experiencing a burial ceremony for the first time in my life. The wake-keep and burial were scheduled for last week Thursday and Friday, respectively.

God bears me witness, I had fully prepared my mind to travel. But on Wednesday evening around 5:00 PM, one of our clients called stating they were in the middle of a time-sensitive project, one of their services was down, and it needed urgent fixing. Normally, I could have resolved this remotely, but traveling from Abuja to an unfamiliar village where I wasn’t sure if there would be a network connection was a risk I wasn't willing to take. So, I picked up my phone, summoned the courage, and told her I wouldn’t be able to come as scheduled. In the middle of my explanation, she cut me off, saying she already knew I wasn’t coming. She said if I had genuinely planned to come, I would have been checking in with her since that morning. Because she hadn't heard from me all day, she had already concluded I decided not to show up. Then she told me, “I don’t think this whole relationship thing will work. You should just forget about everything and have a good life ahead of you.” I asked, "Just like that?" and she said yes. I wished her a good life ahead too, and ended the call.

After 20 minutes, I messaged her asking for her account details. She sent them, and I transferred some cash to her. She messaged me the next morning, thanking me very much. Why I sent the money, I can't really tell, but it genuinely calmed my temper down.

Since then, I have been calling and texting her, but she hasn't responded. However, I noticed she called me twice on Saturday, but I wasn't close to my phone. Since then, I’ve been calling her twice every day and dropping messages, but getting no response. I called her yesterday, and luckily, she picked up. I asked if she was back, but she said she was still in the village. I asked if she could talk, and she said yes. But as I was trying to explain myself and apologize, not even 30 seconds into the call, the line dropped. I called back and it was switched off. I called again later in the evening, but there was no response.

I really like her, and I want her to know it wasn't intentional, but honestly, I am feeling exhausted.

kpankpangolo:
They’ve switched gender in this story?

Abi o. I think this guy should meet up with other lady that didn't attend burial too and the guy whose dad died should meet up with the lady that lost her dad. Equation settled.

Flana:
I met this lady in my estate sometime in 2022. We exchanged numbers, but we never really had the time to hang out back then. Sometime in May this year, I saw her number in one of my old iCloud accounts and decided to give her a call. She picked up, but she didn’t seem to remember me—in her own words, because we used to only see each other on the road before she moved out of the estate.

We chose a date and location to hang out, and it all went well. We had a great conversation, and since then, we have been calling and texting each other. We went on a second outing, and she asked me a question that I actually expected of her: what did I really want from her? I told her that my days of playing games are over, and that I need a friend, a partner, and someone I can build a relationship with. In turn, she told me that she hadn’t given relationships a chance since her last one ended two years ago. She also mentioned that she doesn't want to have too much history with men, which is why she has been trying to protect herself.

Since then, things have been cool. We talked on the phone almost every day, and everything was going well between us. However, I noticed she asked a lot of questions, but whenever I asked her something, she was always reluctant to answer. I told her what I do for a living and where I work, but she would only tell me her job title, never the name or location of her workplace. I didn’t really have a problem with that, though.

A few weeks ago, she called me in the evening, crying on the phone, and told me she had just been informed that her dad passed away. Being the kind of person I am, I have never really had anyone close to me lose a loved one where I had to console them. I just told her, "May his soul rest in peace," promised to call her the next day, and hung up. Due to work stress, I didn't end up calling her until the third day. I noticed she wasn't really responding the way I expected, and after some questioning, she opened up. She said she hadn't expected me to just end the call like that on the night she found out, as she really needed someone to talk to, and then I didn't check back until three days later. I apologized and explained to her that it wasn't intentional—I just didn't know what else to say and wanted to avoid repeating words or rambling, which might not be comforting to someone grieving.

We eventually agreed that I could come for her dad’s wake-keep and burial. Initially, she only wanted me to attend the wake-keep because her family's village is far from her hometown and she didn’t want to put me through the stress. But I insisted that the stress would be worth it, especially since I would be experiencing a burial ceremony for the first time in my life. The wake-keep and burial were scheduled for last week Thursday and Friday, respectively.

God bears me witness, I had fully prepared my mind to travel. But on Wednesday evening around 5:00 PM, one of our clients called stating they were in the middle of a time-sensitive project, one of their services was down, and it needed urgent fixing. Normally, I could have resolved this remotely, but traveling from Abuja to an unfamiliar village where I wasn’t sure if there would be a network connection was a risk I wasn't willing to take. So, I picked up my phone, summoned the courage, and told her I wouldn’t be able to come as scheduled. In the middle of my explanation, she cut me off, saying she already knew I wasn’t coming. She said if I had genuinely planned to come, I would have been checking in with her since that morning. Because she hadn't heard from me all day, she had already concluded I decided not to show up. Then she told me, “I don’t think this whole relationship thing will work. You should just forget about everything and have a good life ahead of you.” I asked, "Just like that?" and she said yes. I wished her a good life ahead too, and ended the call.

After 20 minutes, I messaged her asking for her account details. She sent them, and I transferred some cash to her. She messaged me the next morning, thanking me very much. Why I sent the money, I can't really tell, but it genuinely calmed my temper down.

Since then, I have been calling and texting her, but she hasn't responded. However, I noticed she called me twice on Saturday, but I wasn't close to my phone. Since then, I’ve been calling her twice every day and dropping messages, but getting no response. I called her yesterday, and luckily, she picked up. I asked if she was back, but she said she was still in the village. I asked if she could talk, and she said yes. But as I was trying to explain myself and apologize, not even 30 seconds into the call, the line dropped. I called back and it was switched off. I called again later in the evening, but there was no response.

I really like her, and I want her to know it wasn't intentional, but honestly, I am feeling exhausted.

If you really like her, try talking to her later and am sure she will understand you much better. We deal with grieve in different ways, so be the man and call her again. Woman can be complicated but we still them in our lives whether we want to admit or not. I wish you the best.