₦airaland Forum

Host78:
this is the problem I was talking about.

These girls have been fed with this mentality that if they keep themselves or whatever, then they will get a good man or they will end up with a good man.

I am gold. Therefore I deserve gold. The world doesn't work like that.

And going with this mentality is why a lot of them cannot be married.

You may know such a thing as being led by the Spirit of God. True Christians do not gamble on their compatibility with the opposite sex. They let God lead them to that person who is actually their heart's desire. That is what I meant by gold being compatible with gold, not bronze or aluminum.... You may declare yourself gold and I have no issue with that, but in this context it is highly debatable.

Just because you don't sleep around or keeping your virginity for a man or being very consistent with church activities doesn't equate being basic credentials for marriage!

Most church ladies have terrible characters if you come closer to them.

They are very holy when they attend church activities but the moment they step into their homes,they turn into gossipers,throwing insults and being aggressive!

There was this lady I knew when I was very young that attended,consistently,a very popular church....that lady can speak in tongues and pray but the moment she gets home and removes her church clothes,she can fight anybody unprovoked!

Which man will look at such attitude and decide to marry such a woman?

I'm

EmekaBlue:
I was trying one recently but she always use the word I must obey her if i want to marry her.. Imagine that strong word Obey then again as a catholic i am serving in the wrong church i should give my life to christ and then worship in all these their new developing under zinc church they over obey their pastor.. Lastly she caught me taking just a bottle of beer once if you see the way she shouted in public saying when I said hello to her! She shouted.. Get behind me satan 😄😄😄
Laslas i reason say this lady na even baby mama why am I stressing myself when sweet ladies i can control one or two are out there.

😂😂😂😂 Just a bottle of beer lol 😁

enemyofprogress:
Most of them are not street wise and also not very good in bed. Their ringtones always sounds like church songs.

Teaching is allowed..

That they don’t know doesn’t mean they can’t know..

motymop:
this is a myth you all love to spread

🎯

kiddaz:
Be like na you really understand wetin be the issue. Although the op used "Good/Church girls " but from his write up you will understand he actually meant real religious girls as in believers not just your regular church girl who are 99% OS playing a "Church"game. Those truly religious girls are something else. I was close to one a certain time, she was never rude to me sha, didn't play hard cos she even confessed she's always dreamt of settling with a certain kind of guy and I fit it perfectly even with all my wahala that she's aware of but I noticed she was trying to put me under the pastor like before she makes any decisions concerning us, it's pastor said this or pastor said that, I tried to let her understand I'm not under the influence of no man but God himself and this girl still went on to say I need to be led by the man of God, na there I realize say the matter deep. She's almost perfect in her ways, good, nice beautiful small from a good home too but that running everything through the pastor is not my thing and I even let the so called man know too as I still have knowledge of the word and when he preaches I ask him questions that even throws him off balance sometimes, then he started drawing me close and I had an important role in the church that some ladies started referring to me as a pastor but it didn't change anything. And another thing I noticed she was good at keeping malice with her friends anytime there's fallouts with them. And one time I said something I shouldn't have said cos I didn't think she would take it the wrong way omoor the anger no be here. She would even see me in church and walk past me lol... I had to apologize over and over again. Just because you know say you be virgin and good small so I have to crawl for you all the time. I had to give her space. We were always seen together but then people were quick to see the changes and I didn't care as some were asking me questions towards that. I only started talking to her recently though but I don't really think I can go far with her on those her wahala but then nobody's perfect abi?

But I believe a religious girl (not the extreme ones) are better than church girls cos the church girl most time is a playa in disguise except God just help you meet one who's truly good. My believe though

Do you think these women lack fatherly figure? Or let me reword, responsible father figures? Because I think if they have a man in the house, they don't need another man outside to guide them. What do you think?

Badly behaved.
Difficulty adapting.
Feeling entitled.
Feeling spirituality equates good relationship/marriage.
Judgmental
Not having a mind of their own
Double confirming every decision with their spiritual father.
Preconceived notions

Bro the number of divorce cases do not support your argument.

So all the divorced pastors were not led during their marriages?

You cannot know if you're sexually compatible with someone unless you've had sex with them or engaged in a thorough discussion about such which most ladies never do.

There's no iota of arguments in this your talk that points to anything tangible... The same thing that's happening in our churches today.

Empty yet deep sounding preaching that's short of practicality. You hear Rhema, revelations, etc. All deep but no single practicality.

Like I said earlier, marriage is fully physical not spiritual. It's two people coming together to start a family. Deep in Isreal the wedding was ceremonial done outside the temple filled with drinking of alcohol where they get drunk.

Same in Africa long before Christianity. There's nothing spiritual about it

CaptainJune:
You may know such a thing as being led by the Spirit of God. True Christians do not gamble on their compatibility with the opposite sex. They let God lead them to that person who is actually their heart's desire. That is what I meant by gold being compatible with gold, not bronze or aluminum.... You may declare yourself gold and I have no issue with that, but in this context it is highly debatable.

Yes you're very right in your write up

Host78:
You'll think that a good/churchy girl, especially the born again ones should have men chasing after them

Or getting married every weekend. But that's not always the case.

I used to have a good / very churchy cousin sister like that who was unmarried till around 35 years of age.

She's good but finding a husband was extremely difficult.

The one thing I noticed from good ladies is their rude behavior.

Hear me out first. A girl can be good in that she doesn't sleep around and try to be closer to God.

But these sets of ladies tends to be rude to men who comes around.

I don't know how they think relationships happen, whether they think a man will just come around, propose to them and get married.

Or whether God will just speak out of heaven and say, you and this man are destined husband and wife, so get married next week.

But somehow, these ladies fail to understand that relationship is built, it first start with a show of interest, a flirt or a simple lust.

Those things they feel is a "sin" are what starts relationship.

And so, when a man approaches a churchy lady, her immediate response is always the rude one.

She want to display her "goodness" or make it known she's "pure" and not worldly.

And this most times turn most men away from them.

It's one thing to be good but it's another thing to constantly want to prove it to people.

Trust me, a man knows a good lady when he sees one. Most men knows how to treat a good woman, you constantly saying "I'm not one of those cheap girls" and so on doesn't make any difference, it only pushes the man away.

You might be saying "the genuine man" or "intentional man" will continue to pursue or apply pressure, my dear they will not.

And this is why most of you miss good men and then later in a hurry settle for men you may not like.

I've seen too many girls dodging potential and even men of substance and later settled for people way less than them.

Take my cousin for instance, the one man who was once genuinely interested in her, came with a big car.

He was big but she was young, beautiful and all "in the lord". She once said to people "he thinks I'll like him because of his cars"

When she started midnight prayers for marriage with fasting aggressively eh. It was not funny o.

Every prayer at midnight was filled with husband requests, how did I know this? Because she prayed loudly and everyone in the compound can hear it.

Who did she later settled for? A teacher! Way older than her.

Imagine a man probably at 45 years, with almost nothing going on for him.

See I'm not here to castigate anyone or to put anyone down or to pressure anyone.

As a lady, understand that relationship is not magical. It's not 'godly'.

I have another girl from my school. Then she was the girl every medical student wanted.

Being a good girl pays. Being a foōlish good girl trying to constantly prove a point will lead you no where.

This is also why brothers in deeper life often find it difficult to marry within the church.

I remember in one of the service the older pastor keep speaking on why brothers often go outside to marry while the sisters are 'good' and beautiful.

It's simply because these girls have become 'un-talk-to-able'.

They are not realistic

Some of them or let me say most of them need proper orientation.

Church girl should marry church boy Period. The age one gets married is not the ultimate but what you make out of marriage. Some may marry young but live unhappy life thereafter.

Many of them are insufferable and hypocrites

Not all that glitters is actually gold ur Godly sister that rejected the guy with many cars and married a poor teacher instead might have not taken a wrong decision this life is deeper than u thought.

Not all that glitters is actually gold ur Godly sister that choosed a poor teacher instead of a rich guy with several cars might have not taken a wrong decision after all this life is more deeper than u thought.

Host78:
this is the problem I was talking about.

These girls have been fed with this mentality that if they keep themselves or whatever, then they will get a good man or they will end up with a good man.

I am gold. Therefore I deserve gold. The world doesn't work like that.

And going with this mentality is why a lot of them cannot be married.

You have almost nailed it.

Women generally expect all marriages to be perfect, they are not.

Church ones, on top of what you said, feel angry and betrayed that despite their so called chastity, they still go through BS and struggle with that pain.

Bad girls on the other hand rationalise marraige BS a lot better along the lines of, well I had my fun when single so nutin spoil.

Obviously this is a generalisation but I reckon it holds true.

ashawopikin:
Wetin i wan Carry church girl do? like you said , they are very rude, bad character, they want to control you, always letting you know they are better than you, always reminding us what "pastor" said, always reminding you, you are destined for hell fire, and most importantly ,they are awful in bed, they know nothing, its like dating a big baby. Tueh!

Christian guys like me love such beautiful churchy ladies they are far better than demon possessed ladies who will definitely cut ur life short before ur time.

SixSeven:
Do you think these women lack fatherly figure? Or let me reword, responsible father figures? Because I think if they have a man in the house, they don't need another man outside to guide them. What do you think?

Well, this one has a father that I know and she respects and adores him too. One of the reasons I even like her but the pastor this and that is bugging.

Mrexcell:
Christian guys like me love such beautiful churchy ladies they are far better than demon possessed ladies who will definitely cut ur life short before ur time.

sir, i pray you will not meet a jezebel dressed as a choir mistress. Most of them ladies, hide their characters the day they reveal their true self, baba.....

Gbadugbakun:
Because most of them are very judgemental because of their over religious attitude. One church girl once told me that she can't date me because she saw a picture of me in a swimming pool with some friends and I was only on tight shorts. According to her am very carnal.

that one na small, one told me i am going straight to hell because i wear short, watch football and play bet, and because i ate Ram meat AkA muslim meat during sallah, the way i take pursue her eh

kiddaz:
Well, this one has a father that I know and she respects and adores him too. One of the reasons I even like her but the pastor this and that is bugging.

That's concerning

I don't understand women who see them as better placed than their own dad or men

I think it's them being carried away by sainthood and believing the spiritual father is almost sinless

I don't even have a problem with that, I think they should know when to say it's okay and know who the man is to their life. This is why some people are fearful of over religious people. They don't know when to stop and use common sense. Maybe the fear of hell is it.

SixSeven:
That's concerning

I don't understand women who see them as better placed than their own dad or men

I think it's them being carried away by sainthood and believing the spiritual father is almost sinless

I don't even have a problem with that, I think they should know when to say it's okay and know who the man is to their life. This is why some people are fearful of over religious people. They don't know when to stop and use common sense. Maybe the fear of hell is it.

Yeah I quite agree with this

Host78:
Bro the number of divorce cases do not support your argument.

So all the divorced pastors were not led during their marriages?

You cannot know if you're sexually compatible with someone unless you've had sex with them or engaged in a thorough discussion about such which most ladies never do.

There's no iota of arguments in this your talk that points to anything tangible... The same thing that's happening in our churches today.

Empty yet deep sounding preaching that's short of practicality. You hear Rhema, revelations, etc. All deep but no single practicality.

Like I said earlier, marriage is fully physical not spiritual. It's two people coming together to start a family. Deep in Isreal the wedding was ceremonial done outside the temple filled with drinking of alcohol where they get drunk.

Same in Africa long before Christianity. There's nothing spiritual about it

Shows you know nothing about marital unions that were made from God's direction. A lot of christians, including pastors, make the same mistake of choosing their partner without seeking God's opinion on the issue. When that marital union hits the rocks people like you assume that it broke down despite God's hand in it. You are WRONG.

I am not saying that any marriage that has God's hand in it is immune from the challenges marital unions face. They may face challenges, but the Lord, who has seen the end from the beginning, knows that they are the perfect pair to weather the storms of life without sinking or breaking apart. Marriage goes beyond verifying one's sexual compatibility with a person, goes beyond physical beauty, or material possessions. It is a covenant that should be honoured as long as one of them still breathes.

Yes, marriage is spiritual. Two people become one—in body and spirit. How is it not spiritual? The Word of God says that whoever sleeps with a prostitute has become one body with her...and whoever is joined to the Lord is one spirit with Him (1 Corinthians 6:16 and 17). Who do you think gives life to the embryo in the womb? Science? Your perception of marriage colours your expectations and your approach to it. This is what separates marital unions that are thriving from those that are barely surviving or on the brink of collapse.

OP just spoiled the whole thing, based on the way he described who his consin married. Honestly, you guys just like looking down on teachers, the fact is that your cousin is now a married woman, how are you even sure that assuming he married the man with big car, the marriage would have lasted. Please, respect people decision. Beside, who told you that church girls are not getting married, you don't generalized the whole thing based on the portion you heard or seen...... Being a church girl is not a bad thing, the major thing is to ensure you keep yourself holy, the right man will always come, the problem with most of this church girl is that they pretend alot

Host78:
Any guy here who have talked to a churchy girl can easily relate to this. How they constantly want to control you, and prove that they are not cheap

I feel like we just need to leave them lol.
Life is a lesson teacher.
I don’t wish them bad but it seems they’re kind of ignorant to some extent. Tagging your fellow Christian as unbelievers and looking for the so righteous brother lol.
Avoiding a lot of things and tagging them sins.
Na dem sabi

CaptainJune:
Shows you know nothing about marital unions that were made from God's direction. A lot of christians, including pastors, make the same mistake of choosing their partner without seeking God's opinion on the issue. When that marital union hits the rocks people like you assume that it broke down despite God's hand in it. You are WRONG.

I am not saying that any marriage that has God's hand in it is immune from the challenges marital unions face. They may face challenges, but the Lord, who has seen the end from the beginning, knows that they are the perfect pair to weather the storms of life without sinking or breaking apart. Marriage goes beyond verifying one's sexual compatibility with a person, goes beyond physical beauty, or material possessions. It is a covenant that should be honoured as long as one of them still breathes.

Yes, marriage is spiritual. Two people become one—in body and spirit. How is it not spiritual? The Word of God says that whoever sleeps with a prostitute has become one body with her...and whoever is joined to the Lord is one spirit with Him (1 Corinthians 6:16 and 17). Who do you think gives life to the embryo in the womb? Science? Your perception of marriage colours your expectations and your approach to it. This is what separates marital unions that are thriving from those that are barely surviving or on the brink of collapse.

That one is apostle Paul theory. There are a lot of theories apostle Paul brought that are mere doctrines and not biblical before his time.
So cut us some slack, point out one book or the old testament that says the same thing.
Marriage is physical and not spiritual, lastly God does not join people together.
Even in the bible people get married without noise of waiting for God to choose for them.

nnamdi640:
OP just spoiled the whole thing, based on the way he described ma his consin married. Honestly, you guys just like looking down on teachers, the fact is that your cousin is now a married woman, how are you even sure that assuming he married the man with big car, the marriage would have lasted. Please, respect people decision. Beside, who told you that church girls are not getting married, you don't generalized the whole thing based on the portion you heard or seen...... Being a church girl is not a bad thing, the major thing is to ensure you keep yourself holy, the right man will always come, the problem with most of this church girl is that they pretend alot

No right is coming let’s stop lying on the internet. The man they later accept is the wrong man they feel is better at the later point in their life

Classical case of fault looping. If a pastor prays for you and you're not healed then you don't have faith. And how can you prove you had faith in the first place when you're not healed.

In anyway, the pastor and God are justified and you the seeker is always at fault.

Bro, marriage is fully physical. This is the wrong teaching we feed these sisters and then they wait and wait and wait with mentality that their husband will magically appear at a set time. It's wrong.

Muslims, unbelievers, our ancestors and every non Christian religions get married, some divorced and some go on for a lifetime. Just as Christian marriages.

So, tagging your God as the one to reveal your ideal partner for the everlasting marriage is not a tangible argument.

CaptainJune:
Shows you know nothing about marital unions that were made from God's direction. A lot of christians, including pastors, make the same mistake of choosing their partner without seeking God's opinion on the issue. When that marital union hits the rocks people like you assume that it broke down despite God's hand in it. You are WRONG.

I am not saying that any marriage that has God's hand in it is immune from the challenges marital unions face. They may face challenges, but the Lord, who has seen the end from the beginning, knows that they are the perfect pair to weather the storms of life without sinking or breaking apart. Marriage goes beyond verifying one's sexual compatibility with a person, goes beyond physical beauty, or material possessions. It is a covenant that should be honoured as long as one of them still breathes.


Yes, marriage is spiritual. Two people become one—in body and spirit. How is it not spiritual? The Word of God says that whoever sleeps with a prostitute has become one body with her...and whoever is joined to the Lord is one spirit with Him (1 Corinthians 6:16 and 17). Who do you think gives life to the embryo in the womb? Science? Your perception of marriage colours your expectations and your approach to it. This is what separates marital unions that are thriving from those that are barely surviving or on the brink of collapse.

When you sleep with a person, regardless of marriage, life will happen in the womb.

Conception has nothing to do with marriage. So it's not a spiritual connection that causes the baby to come alive.

It's the physical union of a sperm and egg. One from the father and the other from the mother.

Now concerning sleeping and connection, yes there's a bonding between two people when they sleep together.

Is it a spiritual bond? I cannot tell. The Bible calls it spiritual bond.

But here's the thing the Bible never said: that the bond between them is formed by God. Or that the bond requires special input from God.

Instead, the bond forms from the physical activity they are engaged in: sex.

Now let's look at it from different angles, when Jacob got married, was it "divine revelation" from God to him and Rachel or Leah?

There's none like that. There's no account of any spiritual "divine revelation" for choice of partner in the Bible.

Not from the parents of Jesus. Not from Abraham who even had to sleep with a slave to get his first son.

Marriage is in your hands to pick your spouse. What you can pray about is God to help you to pick the right person.

Many marriages are too successful especially amongst those we call unbelievers and sinners for you to come out and say only you have the right formula.

So all our ancestors in Africa? Was it your pastor choosing their wives for them?

It has gotten to the extent that these ladies now rely on their pastors to choose who to marry.

Can you imagine that?

tollyboy5:
No right is coming let’s stop lying on the internet. The man they later accept is the wrong man they feel is better at the later point in their life

She made her choice, she would have decided to reject that same man she got married to at the beginning. Again, there is no proper definition for wrong man or right man here, marrying early doesn't mean that such lady married the right man, we have seen ladies that married early yet their marriage didn't last long, what will you say about that?

That is because your baddie is more approachable than your supposed good girl. Go and meet a baddie today and say hi at her she would most definately respond back and want to keep the convo going. But a supposed good church, she would glance at you from head to toe and would barely give you the vibe you are looking for.

nnamdi640:
She made her choice, she would have decided to reject that same man she got married to at the beginning. Again, there is no proper definition for wrong man or right man here, marrying early doesn't mean that such lady married the right man, we have seen ladies that married early yet their marriage didn't last long, what will you say about that?

My point is.. they later stop being delusional and marry the available man on ground after letting better offers down in the past.
Many people marry late for different reasons. Some marry late because they’re looking for mr right that doesn’t exist.
When it dawn on them they marry one person and learn to make the marriage right.