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I Thought They Truly Loved Me But The Truth Was Exposed Eight Different Times - Romance (2) - Nairaland

Nairaland ForumNairaland GeneralRomanceI Thought They Truly Loved Me But The Truth Was Exposed Eight Different Times (11982 Views)

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Re: I Thought They Truly Loved Me But The Truth Was Exposed Eight Different Times by Kalatium(op): 2:59pm On Jul 11
Wickedfacts:
Always dating girls from poor families because you want to feel like a man.

Date girls who are willing and able to invest in you just as you are investing in her and see how how your life will change.
How many women from ricj background have u successfully dated, let's start from there before you judge me.
Re: I Thought They Truly Loved Me But The Truth Was Exposed Eight Different Times by Kalatium(op): 3:00pm On Jul 11
Mansa6:
If you understand what Hypergamy is,you won't be bothered or taken aback by women..

Women are INCAPABLE of loving a man GENUINELY...it's their NATURE...It's BIOLOGY!

It's like saying Men are incapable of carrying a foetus for 9months,as Pregnancy,to eventually deliver the baby....or is it?

When you understand this,you have solved 80% of your confusions and issues with that gender..

EVERY WOMAN'S BEHAVIOR IN A HETEROSEXUAL RELATIONSHIP IS BASED ON EVOLUTIONARY SURVIVAL INSTINCTS OVER THOUSANDS OF YEARS.

Most of the things women do,they do UNCONSCIOUSLY!

Na "FOLLOW COME" , evolutionarily speaking..

WOMEN ARE INCAPABLE OF LOVING, GENUINELY, THEIR MATES...they can only do that for their offsprings they procreated with you....

You as the man isn't there to be loved by your woman/wife/girlfriend...

You are there to be "exploited" ,based on survival of the gender..

When you understand this FACT,you can now easily "play their game" without losing out..

I'm speaking as a married man of coming close to 26years...

Once you DONT expect love from your mate,once you get your mind right in these sphere of life... YOU'LL SEE THE GAME FOR WHAT IT TRULY IS......

And you know what they say :

"Once you "see" it,you can't UNSEE IT.....
I have learnt my lessons that is why i am sharing this today.
Re: I Thought They Truly Loved Me But The Truth Was Exposed Eight Different Times by Kalatium(op): 3:01pm On Jul 11
IamHonourable1:
From your writer, you are a Simp, I mean, you couldn't learn about women from the experiences of others until you allowed it happen to you,not even once but on eight different occasions.
They were different women from different backgrounds, different tribe. Don't rush to judge.
Re: I Thought They Truly Loved Me But The Truth Was Exposed Eight Different Times by BigCowHornn: 3:03pm On Jul 11
Lalami3232:
Even apostle Paul no write this much in the Bible. It's either you're jobless or bored. All these plenty talk because of a nonvirgin huh?

What do I even know sef?
The white man says... If you want to hide something from a black man put it in a book.

Do you know see what he's talking about? And you are not even the only one company about that small write-up


How can Nigeria ever develop technologically with nobody really to understand?

The term educated illiterate comes to mind.

It should be a Valentine in the English language because it describes most Africans like you
Re: I Thought They Truly Loved Me But The Truth Was Exposed Eight Different Times by NaijaLandGuy(m): 3:03pm On Jul 11
I dey site now ... I'll revisit this later
Re: I Thought They Truly Loved Me But The Truth Was Exposed Eight Different Times by Kalatium(op): 3:04pm On Jul 11
nonny1212:
What most Nigerian men lack is GAME. For you to conquer the female world, you gotta be a bad boy.

See, it is a must-have else. You will keep feeling the women's scorn. They are really brutal at dealing with weak men.

Having money doesn't equate to knowing the GAME.


Firstly, I can tell for a fact that you are very poor on bed. You failed to satisfy their sexval desire. All of the women you dated.

Money only makes a woman interested in you. Your Game makes her desire you.

If a woman doesn't desire you, then know your relationship is a time bomb, your money only extends the blow-up time.

I can tell you used money to buy the 8 women's love and attention. It never ends well.

Being a bad boy doesn't mean you throwing fights, shooting guns, and being street gangster. In fact, women detest those attributes. A bad boy is one who can satisfy a woman's desire(their mumu button). If you can't do that, you will keep using your money to sustain her.

But if you can crack the code and master the game, women will be the least of your worries, especially when you have money.

At OP, leave women now, go and learn the GAME. It will help you a lot in dealing with women.
While i agree to some of the things you said but i noticed you making wrong assumptions about me. Where did u come to the conclusion of being poor in bed and me using money to get them.

Stop focusing on too much theories and come down to reality with a Nigerian girl.
Re: I Thought They Truly Loved Me But The Truth Was Exposed Eight Different Times by Kalatium(op): 3:06pm On Jul 11
Tenrack:
I swear if to say you be my mate I for say you no wise. How you allow women to burn you up to eight good times. Na man you be oh.
All of a sudden men are hiding their stories of how they messed up with women. Now everyone is claiming to be a pro with women as if they never pass through something like this in the hands of some ladies.
Re: I Thought They Truly Loved Me But The Truth Was Exposed Eight Different Times by Kalatium(op): 3:08pm On Jul 11
SEGLIZ:
Experience they say is the best teacher.

you had 8 relationships within a space of 10 years, come to think of it 2 out of this dating game lasted 5 years. meaning the other 6 were within a 5 years, not to mention the ones that gave satisfaction or your expected end result. you no try at all.
One of them was less than 6months sef.

Those who we lasted long, thought they will always be there but got to find out they had an exit plan.
Re: I Thought They Truly Loved Me But The Truth Was Exposed Eight Different Times by Fujiyama: 3:14pm On Jul 11
Kalatium:
Unknown to me, another man with a bigger bank account had quietly entered the picture
^^^
grin
Re: I Thought They Truly Loved Me But The Truth Was Exposed Eight Different Times by pigmania: 3:38pm On Jul 11
Worse off, he still thinks some women are angels, he has not learnt the bitter lesson that these women are all the same in nature. AWALT
Re: I Thought They Truly Loved Me But The Truth Was Exposed Eight Different Times by ppogba: 3:42pm On Jul 11
Apcshit:
Too much write up over a woman.

You are not an alpha male
Abeg no vex.

I fit dash me the summary?
Re: I Thought They Truly Loved Me But The Truth Was Exposed Eight Different Times by ppogba: 3:50pm On Jul 11
Wickedfacts:
Always dating girls from poor families because you want to feel like a man.

Date girls who are willing and able to invest in you just as you are investing in her and see how how your life will change.
For your second sentence, let us know when you eventually wake up?
Girls willing to invest in you? Abeg, I never finish laughing at FIFA. let me finish with that first.
Re: I Thought They Truly Loved Me But The Truth Was Exposed Eight Different Times by ppogba: 3:53pm On Jul 11
nonny1212:
What most Nigerian men lack is GAME. For you to conquer the female world, you gotta be a bad boy.

See, it is a must-have else. You will keep feeling the women's scorn. They are really brutal at dealing with weak men.

Having money doesn't equate to knowing the GAME.


Firstly, I can tell for a fact that you are very poor on bed. You failed to satisfy their sexval desire. All of the women you dated.

Money only makes a woman interested in you. Your Game makes her desire you.

If a woman doesn't desire you, then know your relationship is a time bomb, your money only extends the blow-up time.

I can tell you used money to buy the 8 women's love and attention. It never ends well.

Being a bad boy doesn't mean you throwing fights, shooting guns, and being street gangster. In fact, women detest those attributes. A bad boy is one who can satisfy a woman's desire(their mumu button). If you can't do that, you will keep using your money to sustain her.

But if you can crack the code and master the game, women will be the least of your worries, especially when you have money.

At OP, leave women now, go and learn the GAME. It will help you a lot in dealing with women.
" Failed to satisfy their sexual desire....." . You sure say dis alaye see some of their pants sef?

You sef need to wake up.
No be every body be Ronaldo and Messi combined like you.
Re: I Thought They Truly Loved Me But The Truth Was Exposed Eight Different Times by Hhh4444: 3:53pm On Jul 11
Na the main lesson e never learn so...he still believe say those 8 no good,say one day e go meet angel. When we dey tell dem say all women na thesame,dem go think say na lie.
pigmania:
Worse off, he still thinks some women are angels, he has not learnt the bitter lesson that these women are all the same in nature. AWALT
Re: I Thought They Truly Loved Me But The Truth Was Exposed Eight Different Times by GlobalWay: 3:56pm On Jul 11
Tired of seeing all these sissy-like shameless ranting and complaining from Sun up till Sun down about Females. Men are created as the Head/Provider, why expect to be expected less of?
Only JESUS Son of I AM THAT I AM loves unconditionally. Even you as a man don't love unconditionally, if not why do you go after beautiful girl? You judge other human beings by appearance and not by their heart's kindness. Or Why can't you marry dwarf? Your Love is selfish too, as selfish as every woman's Love.
Re: I Thought They Truly Loved Me But The Truth Was Exposed Eight Different Times by FayaBall: 4:21pm On Jul 11
Say it bros. "every woman is like that" after it is everybody's experience and those who are not like that do not have their husbands complaining here
Re: I Thought They Truly Loved Me But The Truth Was Exposed Eight Different Times by jojothaiv(m): 4:23pm On Jul 11
There's a reason I'm nonchalant about women again, since dem slice my heart come add pepper back in the day, I no really deh reason their matters that much again, if I jam banny now and she tell me say she dey different ago just deh align with her deh play deh go as time goes on the scale will fall off.

Glad our hearts was broken right after high school, shout out to those ladies that taught us that it was never worth it.
Re: I Thought They Truly Loved Me But The Truth Was Exposed Eight Different Times by FayaBall: 4:24pm On Jul 11
pigmania:
Worse off, he still thinks some women are angels, he has not learnt the bitter lesson that these women are all the same in nature. AWALT
Maybe by the 20 girl e go learn
Re: I Thought They Truly Loved Me But The Truth Was Exposed Eight Different Times by FayaBall: 4:28pm On Jul 11
ppogba:
" Failed to satisfy their sexual desire....." . You sure say dis alaye see some of their pants sef?

You sef need to wake up.
No be every body be Ronaldo and Messi combined like you.
Hin think say hin still dey 2006 where women mu button dey Gspot
Re: I Thought They Truly Loved Me But The Truth Was Exposed Eight Different Times by Reverseng: 4:29pm On Jul 11
Kalatium,

1) Who are you without your money, your degree, surname or your religion?
Find that out for yourself

2) Learn to give what you can afford to lose. You're attached to your giving because you gave more than you can afford to lose, probably due to fear of "what would they think if I can't provide at the expense of myself or something similar"
The price of authenticity is attachment cry

3) Find time to check my posts here on nairaland.

Kalatium:
There is one question every man should ask himself before calling any woman the 'love of his life' .

If everything you have worked for disappeared tomorrow, if your job was gone, your business collapsed or your income suddenly stopped, would she still look at you with the same love, respect and admiration? What if she starts Earning more than you, will she remain with you?

For a long time, I believed the answer would be yes because love was supposed to be unconditional.

Life eventually answered that question for me, not once, not twice, but eight different times in a period of 10 years. Every relationship was different, every woman had a different personality, from different ethnic groups but the lesson at the end was painfully similar.

Story One: When I Lost My First Job

We had been together for two years and I genuinely believed we were building a future together. When my former company downsized and I lost my job, the first person I wanted to speak to was the woman I loved because I expected comfort, encouragement and reassurance that we would get through it together.

Instead, the conversation immediately shifted to : What would become of the relationship now that I was unemployed. The warmth gradually disappeared, the phone calls became less frequent, the replies became shorter and within a few weeks she had emotionally checked out. Before long, she had moved on with another man. Two years of commitment disappeared almost as quickly as my monthly salary.

Story Two: "I'll Find Someone Else"

Months later i got into another relationship. As of then i started a business i got introduced to and at it was booming. Then came a point, where the business became slow and money was unusually tight. For the first time since we started dating, I could not spend the way I normally did. I communicated this to her and she said okay but just a few days later she called and asked me to send her money so she could buy a dress and shoe she saw.

I honestly explained that I was struggling financially and simply needed a little time to recover. Instead of asking how I was coping or understand me or encourage me to stay strong, her response was, "It's okay. I'll find someone else." Those six words changed the way I see her because I suddenly realized I had been valued more for what I provided than for who I actually was. This was a major trigger that orchestrated our breakup later.

Story Three: Betrayal After Sacrifice

The lady was very lovely that i thought we will get married. She was from a humble background, looked gentle and portrayed herself like the kind that will be faithful to me (ride or die). I paid bills, solved problems, handled emergencies and constantly made sacrifices because I genuinely loved her and believed we were building something meaningful together.

Unknown to me, another man with a bigger bank account had quietly entered the picture and was doking her. By the time I eventually discovered what had been happening, she had already moved on emotionally while I was still investing my time, energy and resources into a relationship that had quietly expired. I felt betrayed and shattered.

Story Four: I Helped Her But She Left
[b][/b]
This one pained me the most because of extend i went for her. She is in the health profession and graduated without securing an internship placement. She was frustrated about her future because her mates have already started and are already ahead of her. I refused to watch her struggle alone. I reached out to people I knew, made several calls and eventually helped her secure internship in where i did mine previously. While she worked without salary for months, I continued encouraging and supporting her financially because I genuinely wanted to see her succeed.

All of a sudden everything changed. The communication reduced, the effort disappeared and eventually she walked away from the relationship. She gave no solid reasons saying it's not me it's her and she needs to find herself. Later, I got to found out she had already started earning before she broke up with me. Looking back, I sometimes wonder whether she simply felt she no longer needed me as she is now earning or feel i will ask her for money or what . I became an overnight philosopher.

Story Five: She claimed not to have money and later got scammed.

We dated for three years and during that period I never hesitated to support her financially whenever life became difficult. Helping her was almost natural to me because I believed that was what partners were supposed to do for each other. This was the lady i loved the most.

One day I genuinely needed financial help myself and reached out to her after other options failed. She calmly told me she did not have any money. This was my first time of asking her this and since i trusted her, i thought she actually didn't have. Many days later, she was moody and closed off. I asked repeatedly what was wrong only for her to end up crying, saying someone had scammed her with a significant amount of her money. The painful part for me was not that she got scammed. The painful part was realizing she had the money all along but told me she doesn't have anything. She simply chose not to help me when I needed her. I felt betrayed. When i reflected on everything i realized that even when i am in a precarious situation, she won't ever help me. I never took her serious since then.

Story Six: I Was Always the One Giving

This relationship forced me to reflect on something I had ignored for a long time: reciprocation. I was having this mentality that when my woman needs help, I will always show up immediately without thinking twice. Whenever she faced a challenge, I considered it our challenge. However, looking back today, almost every meaningful sacrifice came from my side and i was shooting myself on the foot.

I began to notice that whenever I genuinely needed emotional support, encouragement or even small acts of kindness, there was almost always another excuse, another reason or another delay. I don't like to keep score but i can't help but noticed she has never did anything worthwhile, even when monetary aspect is kept aside. She is always asking and taking but have never giviing and she is 30. Loving someone should never feel like carrying two people on your shoulders while pretending the weight is equal.

Story Seven: The ₦100,000 I Never Saw Again

This relationship was still very new when she called saying she had an emergency and urgently needed ₦100,000. I explained that the money had already been set aside for something very important, but because she was my girlfriend, I agreed to lend it to her after she repeatedly promised to repay me.

The money never came back. Whenever I reminded her, she started making me feel guilty for asking for money i send to her oooo. At one point she even asked why I was behaving as though she were a stranger. That moment taught me that borrowing money should never automatically erase accountability. I ended the relationship out of disgust. This was the shortest relationship i had ever been.

Story Eight: The Experiment That Changed Everything

After everything I had experienced, I recently decided to quietly test one relationship earlier this year after the lady was claiming she is not after a man's money. So I deliberately reduced how much I spent while making sure nothing else changed. I still called regularly, stayed emotionally available and continued showing genuine affection. The only thing I reduced was the money.

The result shocked me. Almost immediately I was accused of no longer caring, no longer trying and no longer loving her like before. Nothing about my character had changed. My attention had not reduced. My commitment remained exactly the same. The only thing that changed was my spending, yet that alone completely changed how I was treated. That experiment taught me one lesson no relationship expert ever could.

My Overall Reflection

Before anyone misunderstands this post, let me make something very clear. I am not saying every woman behaves this way because that would be dishonest and unfair. These are not all the ladies i have been in a relationship with but this is a result of majority of those i have been with. I know there are loyal, supportive and emotionally mature women who genuinely stand beside their partners during difficult seasons.

My concern is that I have personally experienced this pattern repeatedly as well as others, and many men quietly carry similar stories without ever talking about them. Society constantly reminds men that their value lies in what they provide, while very few people ever stop to ask what emotional support men receive in return.

A man is expected to provide, protect, remain emotionally strong, solve problems and carry responsibilities without complaining. The moment he experiences financial difficulty, many people begin questioning his worth instead of asking whether he is mentally exhausted, overwhelmed or silently struggling with responsibilities nobody else can see.

Money is important. Bills are real. Responsibilities cannot be ignored. Every serious relationship requires financial responsibility from both partners.

Genuine love, however, should never disappear simply because someone enters a difficult season. Every human being will eventually experience moments when life does not go according to plan. Character is not revealed during comfort. Character is revealed when circumstances become uncomfortable.

Today I no longer judge relationships by sweet words, romantic promises or social media displays. I pay attention to how people behave when there is nothing material left to gain because hardship exposes intentions that comfort successfully hides.

My biggest lesson is one I will carry for the rest of my life.

Money can attract attention.
Money can attract admiration.
Money can even attract temporary affection.
Money cannot buy genuine loyalty.

If someone's love expires the same day your money stops flowing, then perhaps what you had was never really love.

It was simply a transaction wearing the mask of a relationship.

So let me leave you with one honest question.

If you lost everything tomorrow, would your partner still choose you, or would they quietly begin searching for someone with a healthier bank account?
Re: I Thought They Truly Loved Me But The Truth Was Exposed Eight Different Times by FayaBall: 4:31pm On Jul 11
Kalatium:
All of a sudden men are hiding their stories of how they messed up with women. Now everyone is claiming to be a pro with women as if they never pass through something like this in the hands of some ladies.
C'mon man, 8 women on the same pattern? That means you do not learn.
Re: I Thought They Truly Loved Me But The Truth Was Exposed Eight Different Times by Tenrack: 4:34pm On Jul 11
Kalatium:
All of a sudden men are hiding their stories of how they messed up with women. Now everyone is claiming to be a pro with women as if they never pass through something like this in the hands of some ladies.
I'm not a pro, my ex was a single mother that bleeped me up. I know how much I lost. But I'll be damned if the same ever happens to me again. That's what I'm saying. How you managed to let 8 girls play you is beyond mey understanding
Re: I Thought They Truly Loved Me But The Truth Was Exposed Eight Different Times by MarketDispatch: 4:58pm On Jul 11
Interesting...no money no love ..Elders have said it. It is money you use to become Husband of woman
Re: I Thought They Truly Loved Me But The Truth Was Exposed Eight Different Times by pigmania: 5:02pm On Jul 11
FayaBall:
Maybe by the 20 girl e go learn
I pray make him survive am reach number 20.
Re: I Thought They Truly Loved Me But The Truth Was Exposed Eight Different Times by FayaBall: 5:11pm On Jul 11
pigmania:
I pray make him survive am reach number 20.
The guy don survive 8 so maybe hin get caterpillar engine
Re: I Thought They Truly Loved Me But The Truth Was Exposed Eight Different Times by FayaBall: 5:12pm On Jul 11
MarketDispatch:
Interesting...no money no love ..Elders have said it. It is money you use to become Husband of woman
Yet, the rich too are crying here
Re: I Thought They Truly Loved Me But The Truth Was Exposed Eight Different Times by FayaBall: 5:14pm On Jul 11
Tenrack:
I'm not a pro, my ex was a single mother that bleeped me up. I know how much I lost. But I'll be damned if the same ever happens to me again. That's what I'm saying. How you managed to let 8 girls play you is beyond mey understanding
It is because of that lie "not all women are bad" which men unfortunately refuse to believe in their mind of being fair when already the women have shown that the game is not fair.
Re: I Thought They Truly Loved Me But The Truth Was Exposed Eight Different Times by GuestInfinity: 5:29pm On Jul 11
It's good that you're not thinking all women are like that. That's why it's good to look for a woman you can be friends with

Also think about what drew those women to you. Men who use material things to attract women are making a big mistake

Kalatium:
There is one question every man should ask himself before calling any woman the 'love of his life' .

If everything you have worked for disappeared tomorrow, if your job was gone, your business collapsed or your income suddenly stopped, would she still look at you with the same love, respect and admiration? What if she starts Earning more than you, will she remain with you?

For a long time, I believed the answer would be yes because love was supposed to be unconditional.

Life eventually answered that question for me, not once, not twice, but eight different times in a period of 10 years. Every relationship was different, every woman had a different personality, from different ethnic groups but the lesson at the end was painfully similar.

Story One: When I Lost My First Job

We had been together for two years and I genuinely believed we were building a future together. When my former company downsized and I lost my job, the first person I wanted to speak to was the woman I loved because I expected comfort, encouragement and reassurance that we would get through it together.

Instead, the conversation immediately shifted to : What would become of the relationship now that I was unemployed. The warmth gradually disappeared, the phone calls became less frequent, the replies became shorter and within a few weeks she had emotionally checked out. Before long, she had moved on with another man. Two years of commitment disappeared almost as quickly as my monthly salary.

Story Two: "I'll Find Someone Else"

Months later i got into another relationship. As of then i started a business i got introduced to and at it was booming. Then came a point, where the business became slow and money was unusually tight. For the first time since we started dating, I could not spend the way I normally did. I communicated this to her and she said okay but just a few days later she called and asked me to send her money so she could buy a dress and shoe she saw.

I honestly explained that I was struggling financially and simply needed a little time to recover. Instead of asking how I was coping or understand me or encourage me to stay strong, her response was, "It's okay. I'll find someone else." Those six words changed the way I see her because I suddenly realized I had been valued more for what I provided than for who I actually was. This was a major trigger that orchestrated our breakup later.

Story Three: Betrayal After Sacrifice

The lady was very lovely that i thought we will get married. She was from a humble background, looked gentle and portrayed herself like the kind that will be faithful to me (ride or die). I paid bills, solved problems, handled emergencies and constantly made sacrifices because I genuinely loved her and believed we were building something meaningful together.

Unknown to me, another man with a bigger bank account had quietly entered the picture and was doking her. By the time I eventually discovered what had been happening, she had already moved on emotionally while I was still investing my time, energy and resources into a relationship that had quietly expired. I felt betrayed and shattered.

Story Four: I Helped Her But She Left
[b][/b]
This one pained me the most because of extend i went for her. She is in the health profession and graduated without securing an internship placement. She was frustrated about her future because her mates have already started and are already ahead of her. I refused to watch her struggle alone. I reached out to people I knew, made several calls and eventually helped her secure internship in where i did mine previously. While she worked without salary for months, I continued encouraging and supporting her financially because I genuinely wanted to see her succeed.

All of a sudden everything changed. The communication reduced, the effort disappeared and eventually she walked away from the relationship. She gave no solid reasons saying it's not me it's her and she needs to find herself. Later, I got to found out she had already started earning before she broke up with me. Looking back, I sometimes wonder whether she simply felt she no longer needed me as she is now earning or feel i will ask her for money or what . I became an overnight philosopher.

Story Five: She claimed not to have money and later got scammed.

We dated for three years and during that period I never hesitated to support her financially whenever life became difficult. Helping her was almost natural to me because I believed that was what partners were supposed to do for each other. This was the lady i loved the most.

One day I genuinely needed financial help myself and reached out to her after other options failed. She calmly told me she did not have any money. This was my first time of asking her this and since i trusted her, i thought she actually didn't have. Many days later, she was moody and closed off. I asked repeatedly what was wrong only for her to end up crying, saying someone had scammed her with a significant amount of her money. The painful part for me was not that she got scammed. The painful part was realizing she had the money all along but told me she doesn't have anything. She simply chose not to help me when I needed her. I felt betrayed. When i reflected on everything i realized that even when i am in a precarious situation, she won't ever help me. I never took her serious since then.

Story Six: I Was Always the One Giving

This relationship forced me to reflect on something I had ignored for a long time: reciprocation. I was having this mentality that when my woman needs help, I will always show up immediately without thinking twice. Whenever she faced a challenge, I considered it our challenge. However, looking back today, almost every meaningful sacrifice came from my side and i was shooting myself on the foot.

I began to notice that whenever I genuinely needed emotional support, encouragement or even small acts of kindness, there was almost always another excuse, another reason or another delay. I don't like to keep score but i can't help but noticed she has never did anything worthwhile, even when monetary aspect is kept aside. She is always asking and taking but have never giviing and she is 30. Loving someone should never feel like carrying two people on your shoulders while pretending the weight is equal.

Story Seven: The ₦100,000 I Never Saw Again

This relationship was still very new when she called saying she had an emergency and urgently needed ₦100,000. I explained that the money had already been set aside for something very important, but because she was my girlfriend, I agreed to lend it to her after she repeatedly promised to repay me.

The money never came back. Whenever I reminded her, she started making me feel guilty for asking for money i send to her oooo. At one point she even asked why I was behaving as though she were a stranger. That moment taught me that borrowing money should never automatically erase accountability. I ended the relationship out of disgust. This was the shortest relationship i had ever been.

Story Eight: The Experiment That Changed Everything

After everything I had experienced, I recently decided to quietly test one relationship earlier this year after the lady was claiming she is not after a man's money. So I deliberately reduced how much I spent while making sure nothing else changed. I still called regularly, stayed emotionally available and continued showing genuine affection. The only thing I reduced was the money.

The result shocked me. Almost immediately I was accused of no longer caring, no longer trying and no longer loving her like before. Nothing about my character had changed. My attention had not reduced. My commitment remained exactly the same. The only thing that changed was my spending, yet that alone completely changed how I was treated. That experiment taught me one lesson no relationship expert ever could.

My Overall Reflection

Before anyone misunderstands this post, let me make something very clear. I am not saying every woman behaves this way because that would be dishonest and unfair. These are not all the ladies i have been in a relationship with but this is a result of majority of those i have been with. I know there are loyal, supportive and emotionally mature women who genuinely stand beside their partners during difficult seasons.

My concern is that I have personally experienced this pattern repeatedly as well as others, and many men quietly carry similar stories without ever talking about them. Society constantly reminds men that their value lies in what they provide, while very few people ever stop to ask what emotional support men receive in return.

A man is expected to provide, protect, remain emotionally strong, solve problems and carry responsibilities without complaining. The moment he experiences financial difficulty, many people begin questioning his worth instead of asking whether he is mentally exhausted, overwhelmed or silently struggling with responsibilities nobody else can see.

Money is important. Bills are real. Responsibilities cannot be ignored. Every serious relationship requires financial responsibility from both partners.

Genuine love, however, should never disappear simply because someone enters a difficult season. Every human being will eventually experience moments when life does not go according to plan. Character is not revealed during comfort. Character is revealed when circumstances become uncomfortable.

Today I no longer judge relationships by sweet words, romantic promises or social media displays. I pay attention to how people behave when there is nothing material left to gain because hardship exposes intentions that comfort successfully hides.

My biggest lesson is one I will carry for the rest of my life.

Money can attract attention.
Money can attract admiration.
Money can even attract temporary affection.
Money cannot buy genuine loyalty.

If someone's love expires the same day your money stops flowing, then perhaps what you had was never really love.

It was simply a transaction wearing the mask of a relationship.

So let me leave you with one honest question.

If you lost everything tomorrow, would your partner still choose you, or would they quietly begin searching for someone with a healthier bank account?
Re: I Thought They Truly Loved Me But The Truth Was Exposed Eight Different Times by ATEAMS: 5:41pm On Jul 11
IN some TRADITION and CULTURE ... MANY women are CONDITIONED to think that men are NATURALLY STAIRS to their GOALS ...Dont FORGET S*X is just 1 amongst of their WEAPONS...
Re: I Thought They Truly Loved Me But The Truth Was Exposed Eight Different Times by voortrekker966: 5:44pm On Jul 11
No Nigerian woman can genuinely love a man that can't provide. Of course they are women who are breadwinners in their families but deep inside they are bitter and most of them don't allow their husbands sleep with them.

The human nature yearns to be appreciated and loved unconditionally but that obviously excludes women, especially Nigerian women. I'll rather have multiple women I give crumbs and sleep with them in turns than to invest emotions and money on one woman.
Re: I Thought They Truly Loved Me But The Truth Was Exposed Eight Different Times by Wickedfacts: 5:58pm On Jul 11
Kalatium:
How many women from ricj background have u successfully dated, let's start from there before you judge me.
ppogba:
For your second sentence, let us know when you eventually wake up?
Girls willing to invest in you? Abeg, I never finish laughing at FIFA. let me finish with that first.
So, I've dated a couple and I think billing comes in different ways.

I once dated an investment banker. billing came in the form of flight tickets, weekend getaways. Then, I got shoes, suits and stuff whenever I travelled. She gave me insight on investment opportunities not announced everywhere. Taught me how to evaluate companies with opportunities.

Dated a female engineer. She was a top shot in an Engineering company, had an official car, chauffeur and all. Her billing was in the form of cash loans from time to time. She could just call that she needs USD for an urgent deal. She always paid back. Then, she introduced me to good deals. We made good money together.

Did I spend money? Yes
Did I make much more money from my association with them, hell yeah!
My renewable energy company idea was brought by the Engineer chic. Wetin I sabi inside? But she brought it together.

Ladies always bill. The idea is to ensure that you're getting commensurate value in return.
Re: I Thought They Truly Loved Me But The Truth Was Exposed Eight Different Times by gigabyte13: 6:05pm On Jul 11
I don talk am and l go still repeat am
Any woman wey you dey date
Wey never give you money before run
She no love you....
Large number am not saying all Women cherished money pass their body
If she never ever give you money before
Runnnnnnnnnnnnn
Ooooooooooooooo
She no love you
1 2 3 Reply

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