₦airaland Forum

I really wish I had never married this man. I dont know what is keeping me in the union but oh no, I dont have any happy time with him.

He is not committed at allllllllllllll, am in pain, deeply sad and sorrowful. He is promiscuous, have speech issues and maybe memory issues. Very had to please and make this difficult always.

He'd rather please outsider than me making me and the kids happy. When I got pregnant, I only received 100k from him to buy infants items as I had twins, I funded every other things and not that he doesnt have money. We build our house together but his family sees him as their Lord and this man train his cousins, nieces, and now had the mind to tell me again that he has adopted another child of his cousin to sponsor. He never pays our kids school fees 100%, I'll always have to balance the rest cos I do not want embarrassment from their school.

We moved abroad some years ago and no he says he'll drive my kids out of the house once they clock 14, but he is training his family children who are over 25 years old. Well, I don't have many, I can train them but I truly regret this marriage,

I am never going to advise anyone ot marry.

Coming abroad, this man would sit and call those in Nigeria for hours daily, he is never serious with his work and will chose to work form home until he got sacked and since then he's being struggling to get a job and I am getting blammed daily. He said his friends called him to warn him never to give me a smiling face, they dont know I have never had a smiling face from him and this man has gone from bad to worst.

You all who it to read social media comments over men who cry woes abroad, if I leave this one now and he comes on social media, you all will start to condemn the woman without listening to her. Am in pain, it has gone from worse while in Nigeria to worst here abroad. Everyday he says marriages dont work abroad, regret coming but go back he is refusing saying we must all go back with him. I cant, I rather remain here and cut off from all my friends and family.

Maybe I remained in the marriage because of shame from people around. And I am not from that loving family so they'll laugh me.

Am so sad; at times, I just feel I never said yes to him, I had many other suitors. but I considered him because he was nice then, things changed the very first day we got married, he started telling me all the evil advise his family had advised him.

I regret building with him; I should have invested on my own.

He has never bought even a shirt for his kids, shoes, toys, christmas cloths, nothing, i Mean notihng, never. when their school asked they buy laptops, he said they are not of the age, nothing. But this man dishes out money to others. I have been supportive enough, but still not appreciated. All i get is name calling, I have never since our marriage of 16 years received a gift, I dont know what it looks like. They have never owrn christmas dress bought by their father.

amili66:
➜ Maybe I remained in the marriage because of shame from people around. And I am not from that loving family so they'll laugh me.
Am so sad; at times, I just feel I never said yes to him, I had many other suitors. but I considered him because he was nice then, things changed the very first day we got married, he started telling me all the evil advise his family had advised him.
I regret building with him; I should have invested on my own.
He has never bought even a shirt for his kids, shoes, toys, christmas cloths, nothing, i Mean notihng, never. when their school asked they buy laptops, he said they are not of the age, nothing. But this man dishes out money to others. I have been supportive enough, but still not appreciated. All i get is name calling, I have never since our marriage of 16 years received a gift, I dont know what it looks like. They have never owrn christmas dress bought by their father.

Forgive yourself for choosing to spend 16 years of your life with him.
Forgive yourself for choosing him as the father to your children.
Forgive yourself for refusing to heed the many red flags and warnings over all those years with him.
Forgive yourself for choosing the opinions and validation of others over your own happiness and that of your children for so long.
Forgive yourself for making excuse after excuse to remain shackled to that which has caused you so much heartache... You are human, and we all make mistakes. 🤔

You now know that you are better off walking out of the situation. What is now important is you picking yourself up and creating a life better than you have had to endure for the past 16. Shift your focus and your mind, in full gear, in the right direction needed at this point, to distance you and the kids from the past failures. That is more important than the woes.

---

Happiness is one-sided -- only the one lacking happiness can work from within to obtain the happiness that he/she seeks. The same sort of approach applies when regret is in the room. If the one who is unhappy desires happiness, he/she has to start by accepting all of one's numerous regrets, forgiving oneself of all of one's shames, guilt, and shortcomings, and then accepting that even he/she has the right to be happy, regardless of what other people say, do, or think.

This is how one goes about overcoming personal limitations, particularly of the psychological sort that OP described.

This is not a time to regret about the past and I am not in support of you leaving the marriage.
Focus on training your children and make them the best of their world since God blessed you with good children and the finances to take care of them.
Live the best of your life and make yourself happy always.

In as much as he's not a violent person, don't allow your children to have a broken home.

Good for you, you left responsible guys and follow irresponsible guy

Baronthecelebri:
Good for you, you left responsible guys and follow irresponsible guy

Pls don't say that. Marriage is a bl__ckmkt. All we need is prayers ki omo wa ma si oko or iyawo fe. Things are happening in marriages. Let's pray we don't fall into the trap

He gave you 100k to buy baby stuffs and you still went ahead ad marry him, you didn't see the red flags. You relocated abroad and you are yet to leave his ass? Abeg these story get k leg.

bestman09:
This is not a time to regret about the past and I am not in support of you leaving the marriage.
Focus on training your children and make them the best of their world since God blessed you with good children and the finances to take care of them.
Live the best of your life and make yourself happy always.

In as much as he's not a violent person, don't allow your children to have a broken home.

What is your definition of a broken home?

amili66:
I really wish I had never married this man. I dont know what is keeping me in the union but oh no, I dont have any happy time with him.

He is not committed at allllllllllllll, am in pain, deeply sad and sorrowful. He is promiscuous, have speech issues and maybe memory issues. Very had to please and make this difficult always.

He'd rather please outsider than me making me and the kids happy. When I got pregnant, I only received 100k from him to buy infants items as I had twins, I funded every other things and not that he doesnt have money. We build our house together but his family sees him as their Lord and this man train his cousins, nieces, and now had the mind to tell me again that he has adopted another child of his cousin to sponsor. He never pays our kids school fees 100%, I'll always have to balance the rest cos I do not want embarrassment from their school.

We moved abroad some years ago and no he says he'll drive my kids out of the house once they clock 14, but he is training his family children who are over 25 years old. Well, I don't have many, I can train them but I truly regret this marriage,

I am never going to advise anyone ot marry.

Coming abroad, this man would sit and call those in Nigeria for hours daily, he is never serious with his work and will chose to work form home until he got sacked and since then he's being struggling to get a job and I am getting blammed daily. He said his friends called him to warn him never to give me a smiling face, they dont know I have never had a smiling face from him and this man has gone from bad to worst.

You all who it to read social media comments over men who cry woes abroad, if I leave this one now and he comes on social media, you all will start to condemn the woman without listening to her. Am in pain, it has gone from worse while in Nigeria to worst here abroad. Everyday he says marriages dont work abroad, regret coming but go back he is refusing saying we must all go back with him. I cant, I rather remain here and cut off from all my friends and family.

Maybe I remained in the marriage because of shame from people around. And I am not from that loving family so they'll laugh me.

Am so sad; at times, I just feel I never said yes to him, I had many other suitors. but I considered him because he was nice then, things changed the very first day we got married, he started telling me all the evil advise his family had advised him.

I regret building with him; I should have invested on my own.

He has never bought even a shirt for his kids, shoes, toys, christmas cloths, nothing, i Mean notihng, never. when their school asked they buy laptops, he said they are not of the age, nothing. But this man dishes out money to others. I have been supportive enough, but still not appreciated. All i get is name calling, I have never since our marriage of 16 years received a gift, I dont know what it looks like. They have never owrn christmas dress bought by their father.

No offence but seriously you need to get laid

amili66:
I really wish I had never married this man. I dont know what is keeping me in the union but oh no, I dont have any happy time with him.

He is not committed at allllllllllllll, am in pain, deeply sad and sorrowful. He is promiscuous, have speech issues and maybe memory issues. Very had to please and make this difficult always.

He'd rather please outsider than me making me and the kids happy. When I got pregnant, I only received 100k from him to buy infants items as I had twins, I funded every other things and not that he doesnt have money. We build our house together but his family sees him as their Lord and this man train his cousins, nieces, and now had the mind to tell me again that he has adopted another child of his cousin to sponsor. He never pays our kids school fees 100%, I'll always have to balance the rest cos I do not want embarrassment from their school.

We moved abroad some years ago and no he says he'll drive my kids out of the house once they clock 14, but he is training his family children who are over 25 years old. Well, I don't have many, I can train them but I truly regret this marriage,

I am never going to advise anyone ot marry.

Coming abroad, this man would sit and call those in Nigeria for hours daily, he is never serious with his work and will chose to work form home until he got sacked and since then he's being struggling to get a job and I am getting blammed daily. He said his friends called him to warn him never to give me a smiling face, they dont know I have never had a smiling face from him and this man has gone from bad to worst.

You all who it to read social media comments over men who cry woes abroad, if I leave this one now and he comes on social media, you all will start to condemn the woman without listening to her. Am in pain, it has gone from worse while in Nigeria to worst here abroad. Everyday he says marriages dont work abroad, regret coming but go back he is refusing saying we must all go back with him. I cant, I rather remain here and cut off from all my friends and family.

Maybe I remained in the marriage because of shame from people around. And I am not from that loving family so they'll laugh me.

Am so sad; at times, I just feel I never said yes to him, I had many other suitors. but I considered him because he was nice then, things changed the very first day we got married, he started telling me all the evil advise his family had advised him.

I regret building with him; I should have invested on my own.

He has never bought even a shirt for his kids, shoes, toys, christmas cloths, nothing, i Mean notihng, never. when their school asked they buy laptops, he said they are not of the age, nothing. But this man dishes out money to others. I have been supportive enough, but still not appreciated. All i get is name calling, I have never since our marriage of 16 years received a gift, I dont know what it looks like. They have never owrn christmas dress bought by their father.

ok we don hear, now, make we hear the man own side of the story

One things I hate about women is that they'll see educated and responsible men but they'll rather chase agbero,yahoo boy's and ritualist that they'll later regret in future

amili66:
I really wish I had never married this man. I dont know what is keeping me in the union but oh no, I dont have any happy time with him.

He is not committed at allllllllllllll, am in pain, deeply sad and sorrowful. He is promiscuous, have speech issues and maybe memory issues. Very had to please and make this difficult always.

He'd rather please outsider than me making me and the kids happy. When I got pregnant, I only received 100k from him to buy infants items as I had twins, I funded every other things and not that he doesnt have money. We build our house together but his family sees him as their Lord and this man train his cousins, nieces, and now had the mind to tell me again that he has adopted another child of his cousin to sponsor. He never pays our kids school fees 100%, I'll always have to balance the rest cos I do not want embarrassment from their school.

We moved abroad some years ago and no he says he'll drive my kids out of the house once they clock 14, but he is training his family children who are over 25 years old. Well, I don't have many, I can train them but I truly regret this marriage,

I am never going to advise anyone ot marry.

Coming abroad, this man would sit and call those in Nigeria for hours daily, he is never serious with his work and will chose to work form home until he got sacked and since then he's being struggling to get a job and I am getting blammed daily. He said his friends called him to warn him never to give me a smiling face, they dont know I have never had a smiling face from him and this man has gone from bad to worst.

You all who it to read social media comments over men who cry woes abroad, if I leave this one now and he comes on social media, you all will start to condemn the woman without listening to her. Am in pain, it has gone from worse while in Nigeria to worst here abroad. Everyday he says marriages dont work abroad, regret coming but go back he is refusing saying we must all go back with him. I cant, I rather remain here and cut off from all my friends and family.

Maybe I remained in the marriage because of shame from people around. And I am not from that loving family so they'll laugh me.

Am so sad; at times, I just feel I never said yes to him, I had many other suitors. but I considered him because he was nice then, things changed the very first day we got married, he started telling me all the evil advise his family had advised him.

I regret building with him; I should have invested on my own.

He has never bought even a shirt for his kids, shoes, toys, christmas cloths, nothing, i Mean notihng, never. when their school asked they buy laptops, he said they are not of the age, nothing. But this man dishes out money to others. I have been supportive enough, but still not appreciated. All i get is name calling, I have never since our marriage of 16 years received a gift, I dont know what it looks like. They have never owrn christmas dress bought by their father.

Have you considered talking to your husband?
Make a good meal, sit him down for a heart to heart conversation?
At the end of the day, when he is old, he will fall back on you and your kids. If he doesn't train them now, I am sorry but they may not recognize him as their father when they get old because they can see what he is doing even though they dont voice out. Those people he's training wont show up for him. He needs to put his family together.

bestman09:
➜This is not a time to regret about the past and I am not in support of you leaving the marriage.
Focus on training your children and make them the best of their world since God blessed you with good children and the finances to take care of them. Live the best of your life and make yourself happy always.
In as much as he's not a violent person, don't allow your children to have a broken home.

So, children are better off being raised in a dysfunctional home, which is what OP literally described up there, than being raised by one happy, good, present, and engaged parent, is what you are saying?

Those kids are growing and seeing everything too ! Someday ,he'll wake up and say "you've turned the kids against him ".


That doesn't sound like a home or marriage to me and the last thing you should do ,is coming back to Nigeria with him or the Kids.

I wish you well.

Kobojunkie:
Forgive yourself for choosing to spend 16 years of your life with him.
Forgive yourself for choosing him as the father to your children.
Forgive yourself for refusing to heed the many red flags and warnings over all those years with him.
Forgive yourself for choosing the opinions and validation of others over your own happiness and that of your children for so long.
Forgive yourself for making excuse after excuse to remain shackled to that which has caused you so much heartache... You are human, and we all make mistakes. 🤔

You now know that you are better off walking out of the situation. What is now important is you picking yourself up and creating a life better than you have had to endure for the past 16. Shift your focus into full gear on what you have to do from this point on to distance you and the kids from the past failures. That is more important than the woes.

.

I hope she listens to this..

Abeg make we hear word. Everyday Nigerian women are tired in their marriages. Come out, no way

If you want to leave, you leave.
You want to stay, stay.

A Nigerian woman seeking advice on marital issues already knows what she would be told by the majority. So I am beginning to think it is a coping mechanism for many. Rant about the man, rinse and repeat. Then blame "society" for making them remain there.

He has never done this, never done that. But you went through something lifechanging as pregnancy for/with him.

How possible is it that a father has never bought single shirts for his kids?
Madam easy with the lies.


Marriage is not easy ...if you have chosen to stay and continue fine..but you ve option(s) of walking away.



Peace

amili66:
I really wish I had never married this man. I dont know what is keeping me in the union but oh no, I dont have any happy time with him.

He is not committed at allllllllllllll, am in pain, deeply sad and sorrowful. He is promiscuous, have speech issues and maybe memory issues. Very had to please and make this difficult always.

He'd rather please outsider than me making me and the kids happy. When I got pregnant, I only received 100k from him to buy infants items as I had twins, I funded every other things and not that he doesnt have money. We build our house together but his family sees him as their Lord and this man train his cousins, nieces, and now had the mind to tell me again that he has adopted another child of his cousin to sponsor. He never pays our kids school fees 100%, I'll always have to balance the rest cos I do not want embarrassment from their school.

We moved abroad some years ago and no he says he'll drive my kids out of the house once they clock 14, but he is training his family children who are over 25 years old. Well, I don't have many, I can train them but I truly regret this marriage,

I am never going to advise anyone ot marry.

Coming abroad, this man would sit and call those in Nigeria for hours daily, he is never serious with his work and will chose to work form home until he got sacked and since then he's being struggling to get a job and I am getting blammed daily. He said his friends called him to warn him never to give me a smiling face, they dont know I have never had a smiling face from him and this man has gone from bad to worst.

You all who it to read social media comments over men who cry woes abroad, if I leave this one now and he comes on social media, you all will start to condemn the woman without listening to her. Am in pain, it has gone from worse while in Nigeria to worst here abroad. Everyday he says marriages dont work abroad, regret coming but go back he is refusing saying we must all go back with him. I cant, I rather remain here and cut off from all my friends and family.

Maybe I remained in the marriage because of shame from people around. And I am not from that loving family so they'll laugh me.

Am so sad; at times, I just feel I never said yes to him, I had many other suitors. but I considered him because he was nice then, things changed the very first day we got married, he started telling me all the evil advise his family had advised him.

I regret building with him; I should have invested on my own.

He has never bought even a shirt for his kids, shoes, toys, christmas cloths, nothing, i Mean notihng, never. when their school asked they buy laptops, he said they are not of the age, nothing. But this man dishes out money to others. I have been supportive enough, but still not appreciated. All i get is name calling, I have never since our marriage of 16 years received a gift, I dont know what it looks like. They have never owrn christmas dress bought by their father.

I want you to thank God that your job can foot your bills and as somebody said earlier shift your attention to taking care of yourself and your children. I will use myself as an example, my marriage is 18 years plus and I have 4 children the only thing my husband take is feeding which is N2,500 daily , it was N1,500 before cooking meat and taking milk or tea is luxury in my house because I use my salary to pay school fees and other bills I changed two of my children school to public before, after a year I saw the difference between private and public school, I had to change the one in science class to private school the other one who is in humanitarian class I can teach her at home.
I am a graduate but I am not fortunate to earn a reasonable salary, I don't have savings and I am 42 years now and no family members to assist, please my sister you don't have a problem so far your job can take care of you and your children.

amili66:
I really wish I had never married this man. I dont know what is keeping me in the union but oh no, I dont have any happy time with him.

He is not committed at allllllllllllll, am in pain, deeply sad and sorrowful. He is promiscuous, have speech issues and maybe memory issues. Very had to please and make this difficult always.

He'd rather please outsider than me making me and the kids happy. When I got pregnant, I only received 100k from him to buy infants items as I had twins, I funded every other things and not that he doesnt have money. We build our house together but his family sees him as their Lord and this man train his cousins, nieces, and now had the mind to tell me again that he has adopted another child of his cousin to sponsor. He never pays our kids school fees 100%, I'll always have to balance the rest cos I do not want embarrassment from their school.

We moved abroad some years ago and no he says he'll drive my kids out of the house once they clock 14, but he is training his family children who are over 25 years old. Well, I don't have many, I can train them but I truly regret this marriage,

I am never going to advise anyone ot marry.

Coming abroad, this man would sit and call those in Nigeria for hours daily, he is never serious with his work and will chose to work form home until he got sacked and since then he's being struggling to get a job and I am getting blammed daily. He said his friends called him to warn him never to give me a smiling face, they dont know I have never had a smiling face from him and this man has gone from bad to worst.

You all who it to read social media comments over men who cry woes abroad, if I leave this one now and he comes on social media, you all will start to condemn the woman without listening to her. Am in pain, it has gone from worse while in Nigeria to worst here abroad. Everyday he says marriages dont work abroad, regret coming but go back he is refusing saying we must all go back with him. I cant, I rather remain here and cut off from all my friends and family.

Maybe I remained in the marriage because of shame from people around. And I am not from that loving family so they'll laugh me.

Am so sad; at times, I just feel I never said yes to him, I had many other suitors. but I considered him because he was nice then, things changed the very first day we got married, he started telling me all the evil advise his family had advised him.

I regret building with him; I should have invested on my own.

He has never bought even a shirt for his kids, shoes, toys, christmas cloths, nothing, i Mean notihng, never. when their school asked they buy laptops, he said they are not of the age, nothing. But this man dishes out money to others. I have been supportive enough, but still not appreciated. All i get is name calling, I have never since our marriage of 16 years received a gift, I dont know what it looks like. They have never owrn christmas dress bought by their father.

Abroad is the land of opportunities, oya face your front

I hope you're letting your children know that you're the one carrying the bulk of their financial needs o? Some women will finish buying clothes for children and pay their school fees, then tell their children to go and tell daddy thank you. Those ones too will grow up and come online to say that their mother brought nothing to the table when they were kids. No more covering up for koromoto men in this 21st century

amili66:
I really wish I had never married this man. I dont know what is keeping me in the union but oh no, I dont have any happy time with him.

He is not committed at allllllllllllll, am in pain, deeply sad and sorrowful. He is promiscuous, have speech issues and maybe memory issues. Very had to please and make this difficult always.

He'd rather please outsider than me making me and the kids happy. When I got pregnant, I only received 100k from him to buy infants items as I had twins, I funded every other things and not that he doesnt have money. We build our house together but his family sees him as their Lord and this man train his cousins, nieces, and now had the mind to tell me again that he has adopted another child of his cousin to sponsor. He never pays our kids school fees 100%, I'll always have to balance the rest cos I do not want embarrassment from their school.

We moved abroad some years ago and no he says he'll drive my kids out of the house once they clock 14, but he is training his family children who are over 25 years old. Well, I don't have many, I can train them but I truly regret this marriage,

I am never going to advise anyone ot marry.

Coming abroad, this man would sit and call those in Nigeria for hours daily, he is never serious with his work and will chose to work form home until he got sacked and since then he's being struggling to get a job and I am getting blammed daily. He said his friends called him to warn him never to give me a smiling face, they dont know I have never had a smiling face from him and this man has gone from bad to worst.

You all who it to read social media comments over men who cry woes abroad, if I leave this one now and he comes on social media, you all will start to condemn the woman without listening to her. Am in pain, it has gone from worse while in Nigeria to worst here abroad. Everyday he says marriages dont work abroad, regret coming but go back he is refusing saying we must all go back with him. I cant, I rather remain here and cut off from all my friends and family.

Maybe I remained in the marriage because of shame from people around. And I am not from that loving family so they'll laugh me.

Am so sad; at times, I just feel I never said yes to him, I had many other suitors. but I considered him because he was nice then, things changed the very first day we got married, he started telling me all the evil advise his family had advised him.

I regret building with him; I should have invested on my own.

He has never bought even a shirt for his kids, shoes, toys, christmas cloths, nothing, i Mean notihng, never. when their school asked they buy laptops, he said they are not of the age, nothing. But this man dishes out money to others. I have been supportive enough, but still not appreciated. All i get is name calling, I have never since our marriage of 16 years received a gift, I dont know what it looks like. They have never owrn christmas dress bought by their father.

Your story nor match, but its yours and we need to hear from the man, except this is fiction, engage me and i will tell you where there seem to be some shaddy lines.. but abeg men treat your wives well oh. Lets be innocent in all our doing cos we are already guilty cos we are men. The good dids in silience is all that will save us in the end

amili66:
I really wish I had never married this man. I dont know what is keeping me in the union but oh no, I dont have any happy time with him.

He is not committed at allllllllllllll, am in pain, deeply sad and sorrowful. He is promiscuous, have speech issues and maybe memory issues. Very had to please and make this difficult always.

He'd rather please outsider than me making me and the kids happy. When I got pregnant, I only received 100k from him to buy infants items as I had twins, I funded every other things and not that he doesnt have money. We build our house together but his family sees him as their Lord and this man train his cousins, nieces, and now had the mind to tell me again that he has adopted another child of his cousin to sponsor. He never pays our kids school fees 100%, I'll always have to balance the rest cos I do not want embarrassment from their school.

We moved abroad some years ago and no he says he'll drive my kids out of the house once they clock 14, but he is training his family children who are over 25 years old. Well, I don't have many, I can train them but I truly regret this marriage,

I am never going to advise anyone ot marry.

Coming abroad, this man would sit and call those in Nigeria for hours daily, he is never serious with his work and will chose to work form home until he got sacked and since then he's being struggling to get a job and I am getting blammed daily. He said his friends called him to warn him never to give me a smiling face, they dont know I have never had a smiling face from him and this man has gone from bad to worst.

You all who it to read social media comments over men who cry woes abroad, if I leave this one now and he comes on social media, you all will start to condemn the woman without listening to her. Am in pain, it has gone from worse while in Nigeria to worst here abroad. Everyday he says marriages dont work abroad, regret coming but go back he is refusing saying we must all go back with him. I cant, I rather remain here and cut off from all my friends and family.

Maybe I remained in the marriage because of shame from people around. And I am not from that loving family so they'll laugh me.

Am so sad; at times, I just feel I never said yes to him, I had many other suitors. but I considered him because he was nice then, things changed the very first day we got married, he started telling me all the evil advise his family had advised him.

I regret building with him; I should have invested on my own.

He has never bought even a shirt for his kids, shoes, toys, christmas cloths, nothing, i Mean notihng, never. when their school asked they buy laptops, he said they are not of the age, nothing. But this man dishes out money to others. I have been supportive enough, but still not appreciated. All i get is name calling, I have never since our marriage of 16 years received a gift, I dont know what it looks like. They have never owrn christmas dress bought by their father.

summit to your husband and you will see him love you

pocohantas:
Abeg make we hear word. Everyday Nigerian women are tired in their marriages. Come out, no way

If you want to leave, you leave.
You want to stay, stay.

A Nigerian woman seeking advice on marital issues already knows what she would be told by the majority. So I am beginning to think it is a coping mechanism for many. Rant about the man, rinse and repeat. Then blame "society" for making them remain there.

He has never done this, never done that. But you went through something lifechanging as pregnancy for/with him.

If you want to leave, you leave.
You want to stay, stay.

They're not empowered. See finish don enter. Get a job as a lady, don't rely on anyone.

After reading this, I feel so sorry for you

I don't know if what you say her is true, but if it's, I feel sorry

Telltruth123:
I want you to thank God that your job can foot your bills and as somebody said earlier shift your attention to taking care of yourself and your children. I will use myself as an example, my marriage is 18 years plus and I have 4 children the only thing my husband take is feeding which is N2,500 daily , it was N1,500 before cooking meat and taking milk or tea is luxury in my house because I use my salary to pay school fees and other bills I changed two of my children school to public before, after a year I saw the difference between private and public school, I had to change the one in science class to private school the other one who is in humanitarian class I can teach her at home.
I am a graduate but I am not fortunate to earn a reasonable salary, I don't have savings and I am 42 years now and no family members to assist, please my sister you don't have a problem so far your job can take care of you and your children.

Omo na wa ooh.keep up the good work,what agbero chairman is doing to the economy is making it more crazy for citizens.its well

Sometimes it's good to hear from the other person before giving judgement or advice... tho if one's life is physically threatened I will recommend separation for the time being

Kobojunkie:
Forgive yourself for choosing to spend 16 years of your life with him.
Forgive yourself for choosing him as the father to your children.
Forgive yourself for refusing to heed the many red flags and warnings over all those years with him.
Forgive yourself for choosing the opinions and validation of others over your own happiness and that of your children for so long.
Forgive yourself for making excuse after excuse to remain shackled to that which has caused you so much heartache... You are human, and we all make mistakes. 🤔

You now know that you are better off walking out of the situation. What is now important is you picking yourself up and creating a life better than you have had to endure for the past 16. Shift your focus and your mind, in full gear, in the right direction needed at this point, to distance you and the kids from the past failures. That is more important than the woes.

Caaz:
How possible is it that a father has never bought single shirts for his kids?
Madam easy with the lies.

Marriage is not easy ...if you have chosen to stay and continue fine..but you ve option(s) of walking away.

Peace

It's very possible, I've seen this first-hand in my mum's cousin's husband. At the end of the day, his business crumbled. His children were very young and only one had gained admission at the time. Some of the relatives he trained and were already standing on their feet no look his side. His children will go and meet them for assistance, they will give them like ₦2k and turn them away. The man's regret till he died was not using the money he used in training cousins and half siblings to secure his children's future. Thank God they're all grown and doing well for themselves today.

The answer to how you got yourself into this mess, and why you are still in it, is in your post "people will laugh at me"

Knowing women very much,
This is just your own side of the story (emotional blackmail).

No one should judge till they hear the man's side.

You have already made up your mind to divorce him, why do you need our validation?

Just tell your children the truth so they don't hate their father in the future.

There's an option you just choose to stay for whatever reasons

amili66:
I really wish I had never married this man. I dont know what is keeping me in the union but oh no, I dont have any happy time with him.

He is not committed at allllllllllllll, am in pain, deeply sad and sorrowful. He is promiscuous, have speech issues and maybe memory issues. Very had to please and make this difficult always.

He'd rather please outsider than me making me and the kids happy. When I got pregnant, I only received 100k from him to buy infants items as I had twins, I funded every other things and not that he doesnt have money. We build our house together but his family sees him as their Lord and this man train his cousins, nieces, and now had the mind to tell me again that he has adopted another child of his cousin to sponsor. He never pays our kids school fees 100%, I'll always have to balance the rest cos I do not want embarrassment from their school.

We moved abroad some years ago and no he says he'll drive my kids out of the house once they clock 14, but he is training his family children who are over 25 years old. Well, I don't have many, I can train them but I truly regret this marriage,

I am never going to advise anyone ot marry.

Coming abroad, this man would sit and call those in Nigeria for hours daily, he is never serious with his work and will chose to work form home until he got sacked and since then he's being struggling to get a job and I am getting blammed daily. He said his friends called him to warn him never to give me a smiling face, they dont know I have never had a smiling face from him and this man has gone from bad to worst.

You all who it to read social media comments over men who cry woes abroad, if I leave this one now and he comes on social media, you all will start to condemn the woman without listening to her. Am in pain, it has gone from worse while in Nigeria to worst here abroad. Everyday he says marriages dont work abroad, regret coming but go back he is refusing saying we must all go back with him. I cant, I rather remain here and cut off from all my friends and family.

Maybe I remained in the marriage because of shame from people around. And I am not from that loving family so they'll laugh me.

Am so sad; at times, I just feel I never said yes to him, I had many other suitors. but I considered him because he was nice then, things changed the very first day we got married, he started telling me all the evil advise his family had advised him.

I regret building with him; I should have invested on my own.

He has never bought even a shirt for his kids, shoes, toys, christmas cloths, nothing, i Mean notihng, never. when their school asked they buy laptops, he said they are not of the age, nothing. But this man dishes out money to others. I have been supportive enough, but still not appreciated. All i get is name calling, I have never since our marriage of 16 years received a gift, I dont know what it looks like. They have never owrn christmas dress bought by their father.

You go dey shame for wetin people go talk but dying inside , you better leave that marriage before your mental health get affected negatively

Marriage is a working issue. Tolerance and forgiveness is key.

There are enough women to go round, why bother about the ones going after irresponsible men? Maybe you are the one ignoring women that are not flashy.

Amovingman:
One things I hate about women is that they'll see educated and responsible men but they'll rather chase agbero,yahoo boy's and ritualist that they'll later regret in future

Dominique seun mynd44 frontpage please to teach other women lesson out there please