₦airaland Forum

WatchYourSix:
What in the flying fvck is across the bridge??

Across the Niger bridge

vdestro:
My good friend just told me her husband does not trust her because of where she is from.

She is from the across the bridge and has been with Oga for 20+ years.

She said Oga said her people do not stay with their husbands if they fail to satisfy them financially or *sesually.

And that he knows she will leave him eventually when she is tired and that even though he appreciates that she is trying to do the right thing her across the bridge will get the better of her as people from that area are prone to doing.

She said everything she does now is read in that light even when she does things she knows the female gender does, e.g Oga believes in saving and spending on only necessaries, she supports Oga but sometimes wants to indulge, Oga says it's an across the bridge thing and not a feminine thing which she heavily disputes.

She says she is tired of being accused and of assuring Oga of her commitment and that she is not doing anything unusual for everything she does any woman would do same but Oga disputes this.

I told her I would put up this post to get people's opinions on this matter.

She should report this issues to her father, mother-inlaw and not you.

For her to be so close to you and tell you such issues, when there are husband family members suprise me o. Hheemmm

why should he? cos all they do is slot around,
as a man , when ever I begin to suspect Ur wife or girlfriend, Ur suspicion is true

WatchYourSix:
What in the flying fvck is across the bridge??

which one is fvck wey dey fly again abeg?

baylord77:
I seriously don't understand this story.

Is he afraid that she might cheat on him with another man?

If a woman doesn't cheat, can give good sex and cook good, what else does a man need?

Other traits can always be upgraded with any personality.

Sometimes, when a wife has not cheated, it can be very worrying and fearful however I believe the husband is picking on some flaw that he foresees would make her cheat.

vdestro:
My good friend just told me her husband does not trust her because of where she is from.

She is from the across the bridge and has been with Oga for 20+ years.

She said Oga said her people do not stay with their husbands if they fail to satisfy them financially or *sesually.

And that he knows she will leave him eventually when she is tired and that even though he appreciates that she is trying to do the right thing her across the bridge will get the better of her as people from that area are prone to doing.

She said everything she does now is read in that light even when she does things she knows the female gender does, e.g Oga believes in saving and spending on only necessaries, she supports Oga but sometimes wants to indulge, Oga says it's an across the bridge thing and not a feminine thing which she heavily disputes.

She says she is tired of being accused and of assuring Oga of her commitment and that she is not doing anything unusual for everything she does any woman would do same but Oga disputes this.

I told her I would put up this post to get people's opinions on this matter.

Na seun and boy boy mod wey dey pursue engagement like their destiny depends on it 🤣🤣🤣

ceejay80s:
why should he? cos all they do is slot around,
as a man , when ever I begin to suspect Ur wife or girlfriend, Ur suspicion is true

My point exactly. Alarm tends to blow before cheating is done

We4all:
Is this supposed to be a new thing? Most Nigerian men don't trust their wives, but pretend they do. I have two relatives, one has been married to his wife for over 40 years, and the other for over 30 years. One thinks the wife could be cheating, while the other thinks marrying from her tribe was a mistake.

In fact, the latter recently accused his wife of being diabolical and wanting to kill him so she can inherit his properties. The funny thing is, regardless of the distrust between them, I don't see them getting a divorce.

Very funny sight indeed
However, i believe because the cheating has still not come is why they are still together. And maybe the suspicion is keeping the wife in line

ibroyal:
Okay,I think she should just ignore him and be herself, thats all.

I think she should examine those suspicions and watch out for them alarm usually blows before wife's cheat

poshestmina:
He suddenly doesn'trust her after over 20 years?
Na under Bridge he first marry her from? .

Make una dey leave all this foolish stories sometimes.Una dey make Nairaland reduce IQ wey I dey manage.

I guess you are a type who doesn't go out to mingle with people outside, if you normally going out, you will know marriages are messier than this.

The story below, if they tell you is real? You would swear with anything you can hold on to. What about Sisi Alagbo 3some with hubby?

No smoke without 🔥.
Husbands don't just wake up and lose trust on their wives .

Goo0dHardDick:
A virgin travelled all the way from warri to asaba to meet a man in a hotel room.
It reminds me of those stories elderly people fabricate then gather children to tell, all those tortoise and lion stories. The same virgin was found rocking 2 guys in a party! Son! Tears and S.ex are women's greatest tools of manipulation.

Do whatever you like with the above information.

Now you dey fear all those men wey dey cry marry virgin

tiswell:
No smoke without 🔥.
Husbands don't just wake up and lose trust on their wives .

Exactly

99thEnemy:
Across the bridge in what direction?

Please give us a bearing.

Na only one side this way 👉🏾 be across bridge for Nigeria na.

bukatyne:
If after twenty years he doesn't believe her, do you think extra five years? Ten years? Will make him magically believe her?

So are you saying that when a marriage hits 20years, they are immune from cheating?
This is where I like that word "preexisting condition". The husband must be picking up on a preexisting condition that she may or may not be aware of

vdestro:
The bots keep banning me for saying the tribe, so I had to get creative.

To your question, I mean Niger bridge. To avoid ban I can't say more than that.

There are two sides to the Niger from Onitsha all the way to the North and from Asaba all the to Lagos and its environ where exactly?

bukatyne:
Why did your good friend's husband marry a woman from across the bridge when he doesn't trust them?

With how culturally diverse Nigeria is, he married a woman from a tribe he doesn't trust.

Na wa o!

Maybe at the time of marriage he did not know that people are in-flowenced by where they come from

dettolgel:
There are two sides to the Niger from Onitsha all the way to the North and from Asaba all the to Lagos and its environ where exactly?

Is there a popular bridge going up north? Damn i have to try that route.
I believe it is the popular one at Asaba.

vdestro:
Do you not understand that she is just opening up to me? And that she is obviously at her wit's end?

Or you think because 20 years don knack, problem go just dissappear? If person no open up, you no go know na? So if you get something to contribute to the matter, talk am...

The man is just gas lighting her trying to break her down mentally and when she leaves the man will say "I said so".

She should ignore his sorry ass attempt at manipulating her and focus on herself and the kids. 10 years from now that man will be 90% dependent on her and all those side chics that are giving him moral will be no where to be found.

vdestro:
Na ban cause am oo. I kept getting banned for different variations of the tribes name ooo. So had to go that way. Lol.

It's across the Niger. Make dem no come ban me again lol

Ban you for what? Name it here. Are you referring to South South or South East? Where exactly? Cross River, Rivers, Akwa ibom, Delta?

dettolgel:
The man is just gas lighting her trying to break her down mentally and when she leaves the man will say "I said so".

She should ignore his sorry ass attempt at manipulating her and focus on herself and the kids. 10 years from now that man will be 90% dependent on her and all those side chics that are giving him moral will be no where to be found.

It could be but they have been together 20yrs and I can't see the gain in burning her up. To me, the only reasonable answer is that he is picking up warning bells that may not have been ringing before but now they are

This situation sounds less like a question about where someone is from and more like a question about trust and stereotypes.

Basing expectations of a spouse on their place of origin can become a self-fulfilling problem. If one partner interprets nearly every action through that lens—whether it's spending money occasionally, expressing an opinion, or making independent decisions—it can leave the other partner feeling that they are being judged for a stereotype rather than for who they actually are.

A few observations:

* People are individuals. Cultural backgrounds can influence values, but they don't determine how every person behaves.
* Twenty-plus years together is significant. A relationship of that length provides far more evidence of a person's character than assumptions about where they come from.
* Constant suspicion can be exhausting. If someone repeatedly has to prove their loyalty despite years of commitment, it's understandable that they would feel worn down.
* Financial differences are common in marriages. One partner being more inclined to save and the other wanting occasional treats is a common dynamic across many relationships. It isn't necessarily tied to ethnicity or place of origin.

At the same time, it's also worth remembering that people develop beliefs from many sources, including personal experiences. If the husband has had experiences that shaped these views, those feelings may be real to him—but applying them broadly to his wife because of her background is unlikely to help the relationship.

If this pattern has continued for years, the couple may benefit from having an open conversation focused on specific behaviors rather than generalizations. If they're struggling to move past it on their own, a qualified couples counselor could help them address the underlying trust issues.

If you're posting this to invite discussion, you might end with a neutral question such as: "Do you think a person's place of origin is a reasonable basis for judging their commitment in marriage, or should partners be judged solely by their individual actions and character over time?"

Dtruthspeaker:
Is there a popular bridge going up north? Damn i have to try that route.

You said the other side of the Niger and I am telling how far the expanse of the lands that lie beyond both sides are. If I am going to Benue for instance from Benin I go through river Niger. If I am going to Benin from Gboko I go still hit river Niger bridge.

smartkester:
Ban you for what? Name it here. Are you referring to South South or South East? Where exactly? Cross River, Rivers, Akwa ibom, Delta?

There is only one area that is most popular for cheating which if you say you would get banned. And they have a lot of threads because of them

Dtruthspeaker:
It could be but they have been together 20yrs and I can't see the gain in burning her up. To me, the only reasonable answer is that he is picking up warning bells that may not have been ringing before but now they are

Most women are silent during the early stage of their marriage and the men run wild. Once their kids are old enough to care for themselves these women become more assertive in their marriage. Those men that refused to change and treat them with the respect they deserve will start spewing trash. She should ignore him, 10 years from today all his schenenigans will end.

dettolgel:
You said the other side of the Niger and I am telling how far the expanse of the lands that lie beyond both sides are. If I am going to Benue for instance from Benin I go through river Niger. If I am going to Benin from Gboko I go still hit river Niger bridge.

Wow bros i gas follow you travel let me see your side of earth. This is what I miss most when people are no longer marrying.
So you still have to cross the Niger to go up north?

dettolgel:
Most women are silent during the early stage of their marriage and the men run wild. Once their kids are old enough to care for themselves these women become more assertive in their marriage. Those men that refused to change and treat them with the respect them deserve will start spewing trash. She should ignore him, 10 years from today all his schenenigans will end.

This one too is there oo.

WatchYourSix:
What in the flying fvck is across the bridge??

I taya.

I think "Oga" is wise!

bukatyne:
If after twenty years he doesn't believe her, do you think extra five years? Ten years? Will make him magically believe her?

He is a wise man

Dtruthspeaker:
Wow bros i gas follow you travel let me see your side of earth. This is what I miss most when people are no longer marrying.
So you still have to cross the Niger to go up north?

If you get ransome money just enter bus Lagos or wherever you are to Onitsha. So once you get there, take the bus to Maiduguri one full day ride, and you will see parts of Enugu, Benue, Kogi, Nassara, Jos, Bauchi, a bit of Kaduna, Yobe till you get to Maiduguri. On your way back go through Kano. Stop in Kano spend a day there then head towards Cross Rivers. From there you get to Abia and PH. From PH cross the Niger over to Asaba and head to Edo, Ondo, Osun, may Kwara or Ogu.

There are lots of places to see in Nigeria, unfortunately insecurity is a big problem

bukatyne:
If after twenty years he doesn't believe her, do you think extra five years? Ten years? Will make him magically believe her?

His gragra will end when he hits 60/70 and will need someone that he trust and that knows he very well. Someone that truly has his time. Then he will become kinder to her