₦airaland Forum

SHE’S NOT JUST INTO YOU

.. before you go down on one kneel

Every time I see a marriage proposal get rejected, I ask myself one question:

How did they get here?

Then I have another thought:

This can never be me.

Not because I think I'm better than anyone else. Not because I believe rejection cannot happen to me.

It is because I believe you should know long before the ring comes out whether the woman you're about to propose to actually wants you.

A rejected proposal is rarely the beginning of the rejection.

She probably rejected you months ago.

You just didn't hear it.

Or perhaps she never said it with words. Maybe she said it with her attitude, her silence, her inconsistency, her lack of excitement, her disappearing acts and her unwillingness to build anything meaningful with you.

You simply refused to read the signs.

And sometimes, a woman says yes to a proposal she doesn't really want simply because she doesn't want to embarrass the man in front of family and friends.

She smiles.

She cries.

She wears the ring.

Everybody celebrates.

Then reality begins.

Some of those engagements never make it to the altar. And the ones that somehow crawl there sometimes end before the marriage has even had a chance to breathe.

The problem was never the proposal. The problem was that the relationship was already broken.

GO FOR THE ONE WHO WANTS YOU

This is one thing I tell men:

Go for the woman who wants you.

Yes, women like to be pursued. But there is a huge difference between pursuing a woman who is interested and chasing a woman who isn't.

A man must know when to push and, more importantly, when to stop.

If she says no, respect it.

If she doesn't say no but everything about her behaviour screams "no," respect that too.

Don't turn yourself into a motivational speaker trying to convince someone to love you.

Love isn't a courtroom. You shouldn't have to argue your case.

If you have to constantly convince her that you're worthy of her attention, imagine what you'll have to do to keep her after she finally says yes.

You'll spend the relationship trying to maintain a position you were never naturally given.

That's exhausting.

And, eventually, it destroys a man's confidence.

I DON'T RUSH TO DATES

For me, it's different.

I don't rush to meet a woman.

Before I go on a date, I want us to have had a really good conversation over the phone.

I want to hear your thoughts.

Your humour.

Your fears.

Your ambitions.

Your worldview.

I want to know whether we can actually talk.

Because if we cannot create chemistry through conversation, why would I believe two hours across a restaurant table will suddenly create magic?

Some people, of course, are terrible on the phone but amazing in person.

If that's you, then don't rush the date.

Build the anticipation.

Create enough chemistry for her to look forward to seeing you.

That's the point.

By the time we meet, I don't want us still asking:

"What's your favourite colour?"

"What's your favourite food?"

"What do you do for fun?"

We've probably covered those already.

My dates are for deeper conversations—the things we couldn't comfortably discuss over the phone, perhaps because trust hasn't developed enough yet.

I take my time building chemistry.

And I've discovered something:

The dates where the chemistry wasn't established beforehand usually ended much faster.

READ THE ROOM

If you're talking to a woman and she looks completely uninterested in what you're saying, stop talking.

Seriously.

Stop.

Don't keep performing.

Don't start telling her about your car, your money, your connections, your achievements and the number of people who want you.

She may eventually agree to go on a date with you.

But don't confuse "yes to a date" with "yes to you."

She might simply want to wear that beautiful dress that's been sitting in her wardrobe for three years.

She might be bored.

She might want company.

She might simply want to get out of the house.

And yes, you could get lucky and spark a chemistry she didn't know existed.

But that's the exception, not the strategy.

There is also a possibility that while you're sitting across the table explaining your five-year plan, she's texting another man who isn't even giving her attention.

You may be fighting for a position she has already given to someone else.

PATIENCE IS ATTRACTIVE

One of the most underrated qualities in relationships is patience.

Take your time.

Don't rush.

Don't panic because she hasn't responded.

Don't chase because she cancelled.

Don't suddenly start buying expensive gifts because you think money will manufacture affection.

And don't assume that losing one woman means you've lost your last chance at love.

If she leaves, let her leave.

Another woman will come.

Unless, of course, you're not looking for love.

If you're only after the skirt, then that's another conversation entirely.

Interestingly, many women I've met online have been the ones who wanted to meet me.

They initiated the dates.

They were eager.

They looked forward to meeting.

That's why I'm always puzzled when men tell me stories about women constantly cancelling dates, postponing meetings and disappearing.

Women are not mysterious creatures.

They have eyes.

They have ears.

They can feel.

They can observe.

They know when they're attracted to someone.

You don't have to perform a miracle to make a woman want you.

Sometimes, she simply does.

SHE MAY SIMPLY NOT BE INTO YOU

If she never answers your calls...

If your messages remain unanswered...

If she takes forever to respond...

If you're always the one starting the conversation...

If every attempt to meet becomes another excuse...

Please stop calling it "mixed signals."

Sometimes, the signal isn't mixed.

You just don't like the message.

And if you somehow force the date to happen, you may spend the evening talking to yourself.

She may keep checking her phone.

She may leave early.

She may suddenly develop an "emergency."

And you will sit there wondering what went wrong.

Nothing went wrong.

She didn't want to be there in the first place.

KNOW WHEN YOU'RE OUT OF HER LEAGUE

Another uncomfortable truth is that sometimes a woman won't give you attention because you don't meet her standards.

Financially.

Academically.

Spiritually.

Intellectually.

Emotionally.

Physically.

Or simply in terms of lifestyle.

That doesn't make you a bad man.

It doesn't make her a bad woman.

It means you're probably not compatible.

And you need enough self-awareness to accept that.

Because endlessly pursuing someone who doesn't see you as her equal can slowly destroy your confidence.

Rejection isn't always an insult. Sometimes it's information.

Use it.

Improve yourself.

Move forward.

And find someone whose standards and expectations align with what you bring to the table.

I'm going to write another article later on how to land a six-figure woman.

But before that, men need to understand something much more important:

You cannot negotiate attraction.

THE RING DOESN'T CREATE LOVE

Many women want to get married.

But they want to marry the right man.

And sometimes, that man isn't necessarily the man they currently love the most.

You may be financially right for her.

You may be psychologically right for her.

You may fit the picture she has created in her head.

You may even be the man her family considers perfect.

So you save for the most expensive ring you can afford.

You plan the perfect proposal.

You kneel down.

You ask the question.

And she says yes.

But here's the uncomfortable question:

Does she actually want a life with you, or does she simply want the life you represent?

Because marriage today is not always purely about romance.

It can be transactional.

It can be practical.

It can be emotional.

It can be financial.

It can be social.

And sometimes, it is all of these things at once.

That's why before you propose, you need to have uncomfortable conversations.

Not just:

"Do you love me?"

Ask:

"What kind of life do you want?"

"Where do you want to live?"

"Do you want children?"

"How do you see finances working?"

"What does marriage mean to you?"

"What are your ambitions?"

"What are mine?"

"Do our lives actually fit?"

Because love without alignment can become a very expensive mistake.

DON'T PROPOSE TO A FANTASY

Look at your relationship in the months leading up to the proposal.

Not the relationship you wish you had.

The relationship you actually had.

What was she like?

Was she excited about your future?

Did she talk about building with you?

Did she ask questions about your plans?

Did she include you in hers?

When marriage came up, did her face light up?

Or did she suddenly become quiet?

Wedding excitement is difficult to fake.

When a woman genuinely sees a future with you, conversations about that future usually produce excitement.

If you're the only one dreaming about the wedding, you're not planning a wedding.

You're planning a fantasy.

So ask questions.

Not necessarily, "Will you marry me?"

Ask questions that reveal your position in her life.

Listen carefully.

Watch her actions.

Pay attention to the things she doesn't say.

Because assumptions are dangerous.

Never assume she loves you because she loved you yesterday.

She may have loved you a year ago.

She may have loved you last month.

She may have loved you last week.

But people change.

Feelings change.

Circumstances change.

And sometimes, love leaves quietly before the person finds the courage to announce its departure.

That's why I don't believe the proposal should be the moment you discover whether she wants you.

The proposal should be the confirmation of something you already know.

You shouldn't be kneeling in front of a woman hoping she says yes.

You should already know.

Because before the ring...

Before the flowers...

Before the photographer...

Before the family gathers...

Before you get down on one knee...

she has already answered you—with her words, her actions, her consistency, her excitement and the way she responds to the thought of a future with you.

The real question isn't:

"Will she say yes when I propose?"

The real question is:

"Why am I proposing to a woman whose answer I'm not already sure of?"

KD oniyide
Social; kd.oniyide2

Nice write up. All you listed are all fact just that we men allow love to be cloud our sense of judgement

KDOniyide:
SHE’S NOT JUST INTO YOU

.. before you go down on one kneel

Every time I see a marriage proposal get rejected, I ask myself one question:

How did they get here?

Then I have another thought:

This can never be me.

Not because I think I'm better than anyone else. Not because I believe rejection cannot happen to me.

It is because I believe you should know long before the ring comes out whether the woman you're about to propose to actually wants you.

A rejected proposal is rarely the beginning of the rejection.

She probably rejected you months ago.

You just didn't hear it.

Or perhaps she never said it with words. Maybe she said it with her attitude, her silence, her inconsistency, her lack of excitement, her disappearing acts and her unwillingness to build anything meaningful with you.

You simply refused to read the signs.

And sometimes, a woman says yes to a proposal she doesn't really want simply because she doesn't want to embarrass the man in front of family and friends.

She smiles.

She cries.

She wears the ring.

Everybody celebrates.

Then reality begins.

Some of those engagements never make it to the altar. And the ones that somehow crawl there sometimes end before the marriage has even had a chance to breathe.

The problem was never the proposal. The problem was that the relationship was already broken.

GO FOR THE ONE WHO WANTS YOU

This is one thing I tell men:

Go for the woman who wants you.

Yes, women like to be pursued. But there is a huge difference between pursuing a woman who is interested and chasing a woman who isn't.

A man must know when to push and, more importantly, when to stop.

If she says no, respect it.

If she doesn't say no but everything about her behaviour screams "no," respect that too.

Don't turn yourself into a motivational speaker trying to convince someone to love you.

Love isn't a courtroom. You shouldn't have to argue your case.

If you have to constantly convince her that you're worthy of her attention, imagine what you'll have to do to keep her after she finally says yes.

You'll spend the relationship trying to maintain a position you were never naturally given.

That's exhausting.

And, eventually, it destroys a man's confidence.

I DON'T RUSH TO DATES

For me, it's different.

I don't rush to meet a woman.

Before I go on a date, I want us to have had a really good conversation over the phone.

I want to hear your thoughts.

Your humour.

Your fears.

Your ambitions.

Your worldview.

I want to know whether we can actually talk.

Because if we cannot create chemistry through conversation, why would I believe two hours across a restaurant table will suddenly create magic?

Some people, of course, are terrible on the phone but amazing in person.

If that's you, then don't rush the date.

Build the anticipation.

Create enough chemistry for her to look forward to seeing you.

That's the point.

By the time we meet, I don't want us still asking:

"What's your favourite colour?"

"What's your favourite food?"

"What do you do for fun?"

We've probably covered those already.

My dates are for deeper conversations—the things we couldn't comfortably discuss over the phone, perhaps because trust hasn't developed enough yet.

I take my time building chemistry.

And I've discovered something:

The dates where the chemistry wasn't established beforehand usually ended much faster.

READ THE ROOM

If you're talking to a woman and she looks completely uninterested in what you're saying, stop talking.

Seriously.

Stop.

Don't keep performing.

Don't start telling her about your car, your money, your connections, your achievements and the number of people who want you.

She may eventually agree to go on a date with you.

But don't confuse "yes to a date" with "yes to you."

She might simply want to wear that beautiful dress that's been sitting in her wardrobe for three years.

She might be bored.

She might want company.

She might simply want to get out of the house.

And yes, you could get lucky and spark a chemistry she didn't know existed.

But that's the exception, not the strategy.

There is also a possibility that while you're sitting across the table explaining your five-year plan, she's texting another man who isn't even giving her attention.

You may be fighting for a position she has already given to someone else.

PATIENCE IS ATTRACTIVE

One of the most underrated qualities in relationships is patience.

Take your time.

Don't rush.

Don't panic because she hasn't responded.

Don't chase because she cancelled.

Don't suddenly start buying expensive gifts because you think money will manufacture affection.

And don't assume that losing one woman means you've lost your last chance at love.

If she leaves, let her leave.

Another woman will come.

Unless, of course, you're not looking for love.

If you're only after the skirt, then that's another conversation entirely.

Interestingly, many women I've met online have been the ones who wanted to meet me.

They initiated the dates.

They were eager.

They looked forward to meeting.

That's why I'm always puzzled when men tell me stories about women constantly cancelling dates, postponing meetings and disappearing.

Women are not mysterious creatures.

They have eyes.

They have ears.

They can feel.

They can observe.

They know when they're attracted to someone.

You don't have to perform a miracle to make a woman want you.

Sometimes, she simply does.

SHE MAY SIMPLY NOT BE INTO YOU

If she never answers your calls...

If your messages remain unanswered...

If she takes forever to respond...

If you're always the one starting the conversation...

If every attempt to meet becomes another excuse...

Please stop calling it "mixed signals."

Sometimes, the signal isn't mixed.

You just don't like the message.

And if you somehow force the date to happen, you may spend the evening talking to yourself.

She may keep checking her phone.

She may leave early.

She may suddenly develop an "emergency."

And you will sit there wondering what went wrong.

Nothing went wrong.

She didn't want to be there in the first place.

KNOW WHEN YOU'RE OUT OF HER LEAGUE

Another uncomfortable truth is that sometimes a woman won't give you attention because you don't meet her standards.

Financially.

Academically.

Spiritually.

Intellectually.

Emotionally.

Physically.

Or simply in terms of lifestyle.

That doesn't make you a bad man.

It doesn't make her a bad woman.

It means you're probably not compatible.

And you need enough self-awareness to accept that.

Because endlessly pursuing someone who doesn't see you as her equal can slowly destroy your confidence.

Rejection isn't always an insult. Sometimes it's information.

Use it.

Improve yourself.

Move forward.

And find someone whose standards and expectations align with what you bring to the table.

I'm going to write another article later on how to land a six-figure woman.

But before that, men need to understand something much more important:

You cannot negotiate attraction.

THE RING DOESN'T CREATE LOVE

Many women want to get married.

But they want to marry the right man.

And sometimes, that man isn't necessarily the man they currently love the most.

You may be financially right for her.

You may be psychologically right for her.

You may fit the picture she has created in her head.

You may even be the man her family considers perfect.

So you save for the most expensive ring you can afford.

You plan the perfect proposal.

You kneel down.

You ask the question.

And she says yes.

But here's the uncomfortable question:

Does she actually want a life with you, or does she simply want the life you represent?

Because marriage today is not always purely about romance.

It can be transactional.

It can be practical.

It can be emotional.

It can be financial.

It can be social.

And sometimes, it is all of these things at once.

That's why before you propose, you need to have uncomfortable conversations.

Not just:

"Do you love me?"

Ask:

"What kind of life do you want?"

"Where do you want to live?"

"Do you want children?"

"How do you see finances working?"

"What does marriage mean to you?"

"What are your ambitions?"

"What are mine?"

"Do our lives actually fit?"

Because love without alignment can become a very expensive mistake.

DON'T PROPOSE TO A FANTASY

Look at your relationship in the months leading up to the proposal.

Not the relationship you wish you had.

The relationship you actually had.

What was she like?

Was she excited about your future?

Did she talk about building with you?

Did she ask questions about your plans?

Did she include you in hers?

When marriage came up, did her face light up?

Or did she suddenly become quiet?

Wedding excitement is difficult to fake.

When a woman genuinely sees a future with you, conversations about that future usually produce excitement.

If you're the only one dreaming about the wedding, you're not planning a wedding.

You're planning a fantasy.

So ask questions.

Not necessarily, "Will you marry me?"

Ask questions that reveal your position in her life.

Listen carefully.

Watch her actions.

Pay attention to the things she doesn't say.

Because assumptions are dangerous.

Never assume she loves you because she loved you yesterday.

She may have loved you a year ago.

She may have loved you last month.

She may have loved you last week.

But people change.

Feelings change.

Circumstances change.

And sometimes, love leaves quietly before the person finds the courage to announce its departure.

That's why I don't believe the proposal should be the moment you discover whether she wants you.

The proposal should be the confirmation of something you already know.

You shouldn't be kneeling in front of a woman hoping she says yes.

You should already know.

Because before the ring...

Before the flowers...

Before the photographer...

Before the family gathers...

Before you get down on one knee...

she has already answered you—with her words, her actions, her consistency, her excitement and the way she responds to the thought of a future with you.

The real question isn't:

"Will she say yes when I propose?"

The real question is:

"Why am I proposing to a woman whose answer I'm not already sure of?"

KD oniyide
Social; kd.oniyide2

did Jesus kneel down to propose to any lady

The best write-up of the week but it is too long....

It is foolishness that you can't know when a woman is out of your life but just with you because of the benefits she is getting from you...

And this mostly happen to simps...

1..she always tell you she is busy, but you are too dumb to understand that she is not with you again...
2...The confidence she possess when talking to you, still you can recognize that you are dating yourself.....
3..She don't appreciate the things you did for her anymore, you still don't get it...
4... Billing you unconditionally or given you a condition to something for her, you can't still get the message...
5.. she no longer call or maybe the only time she call is when she wants to demand for something..

You don't need a woman to open her and tell you before you can realize that she is not with you again why because body language don't lie....

A woman will never reject my proposal because she will need it more than me...

Bayoonanuga:
did Jesus kneel down to propose to any lady

Yes, to Marry Magdalena

Sometimes we don't know what we want ourselves till the moment you propose. So HOW will you know? Sometimes we can start loving you durring the marriage though we were lukewarm before, etc...

tanigororo:
Yes, to Marry Magdalena

Stop blaspheming the Lord

Okay professor

Then who is Mary Magdalene to Jesus?

QuinQ:
Stop blaspheming the Lord

Omo as a man you get many work to do before you marry o, to avoid "had I known"

Some men no dy try when e come to woman matter, na why at the end them dy too regret.

Na God go help us.

True talk

marlow1962:
Omo as a man you get many work to do before you marry o, to avoid "had I known"

Some men no dy try when e come to woman matter, na why at the end them dy too regret.

Na God go help us.