A Brother Needs An Advice. - Romance (2) - Nairaland
Nairaland Forum › Nairaland General › Romance › A Brother Needs An Advice. (21884 Views)
Poll: What should he do?
Wish her well and take a walk
42% (39 votes)
Stay with her and learn to be supportive
57% (53 votes)
This poll has ended |
| Re: A Brother Needs An Advice. by JimD(m): 3:00pm On Oct 18 |
Your kids will probably lose their mom before they turn 20. SS don't usually live beyond 47. Your kids will be AS. They have a lower pool of men and women to select from. You have to deal with periodic crisis and take on the role of caregiver periodically. This will affect your business if you do business or manage people. It seems you're desperate. Take a step back and assess the pros and cons. She's great now. But women only reveal themselves when they get in. And having a first class isn't always a sign of intelligence. It could mean she had less of a social life. Had no other option but to read. From what you said, she's a good woman. That's hard to find nowadays. But still if you'll take away the blindfold and selfishly look at your future, do you see a great life? Or one where you've helped her out. Her parents made the decision, you shouldn't pay for it. |
| Re: A Brother Needs An Advice. by BennyDGreat: 3:03pm On Oct 18 |
ManLikeL:You are also dishonest by having sex outside. Will you also confess to her? As concerning the genotype, the choice is yours to make really. |
| Re: A Brother Needs An Advice. by TK9680: 4:12pm On Oct 18 |
There is a treatment for it in Nigeria and India. Please check It will be expensive but lets start from there |
| Re: A Brother Needs An Advice. by Exceed15: 4:13pm On Oct 18 |
When u enter into the marriage proper, u will discover there's nothing you re actually missing. However if she's a peaceful fellow please consider her.It rare trait among women. One important thing, u should be ready to handle her crisis time...e no funny o. |
| Re: A Brother Needs An Advice. by dfrost: 4:15pm On Oct 18 |
ManLikeL, you suppose don gather enough advice already, ba? Abi you still need another/more? |
| Re: A Brother Needs An Advice. by WantsandMore: 4:16pm On Oct 18 |
ManLikeL:Dude, how does sexual intimacy compliment for the issue on ground ? Why would you even bring that up? Would no sex before marriage change her genes composition? Crazy!!! Get your priorities right Fam... |
| Re: A Brother Needs An Advice. by Privatepart00: 4:18pm On Oct 18 |
ManLikeL:As someone that had friends whose brother or sister was SS, you should abort mission. There’s more lies you yet to know. The health crisis will still arise, move forward to some one truthful from day one. All my friends were from a buoyant family background, but when it starts, you wish something happened differently. Is not your cross to carry |
| Re: A Brother Needs An Advice. by SmartyPants(m): 4:19pm On Oct 18 |
If you're as intelligent as you think you are, you shouldn't need to bother anyone with this long tale. You obviously know within your heart that once you've nacked this lady to your heart's content, post-nut clarity will set in and you will revert to your baseline which is: you don't want an SS partner. So you either discharge her honourably or set about the evil you are planning in your heart and let us rest this Sunday. |
| Re: A Brother Needs An Advice. by anslemarinze52(m): 4:20pm On Oct 18 |
Yur overthinking is too much. If you no wan settle with the girl just break up lol 😂😂. It's clearly there's a demon inside you way you no want make you settle down and have a family, mind that demon isn't bad lol 😂. It could be protecting you from being harmed inside marriage. That kinda thing. But it's obvious yo no wan marry the girl, leave her. Just leave. If you still marry her, for inside marriage you fee de regret why you marry ham make you come later even turn violent towards her. |
| Re: A Brother Needs An Advice. by Gotocourt: 4:21pm On Oct 18 |
ManLikeL:Let her go, managing SS is expensive and heart breaking. |
| Re: A Brother Needs An Advice. by We4all: 4:21pm On Oct 18 |
SS exists on a spectrum. Some are very severe, while others aren't. I know some SS patients who are over 50 and are doing okay. Although , depending on the severity of her condition, giving birth to more than a kid may be risky for her. |
| Re: A Brother Needs An Advice. by elijahozzy(m): 4:21pm On Oct 18 |
Tell her to leave you alone for now, if you see she has learned her lesson, tell her to come over forgive her and make sure you have sex with her. Then you can now carry on with the wedding. |
| Re: A Brother Needs An Advice. by Dancebreaker: 4:28pm On Oct 18 |
[quote author=ManLikeL post=140940403]Brothers, What Will You Advise a Brother? I'm currently confused about my relationship journey. . |
| Re: A Brother Needs An Advice. by victorazyvictor(m): 4:29pm On Oct 18 |
DonEd:Your very correct. She was afraid. They can AA too not only AS. The guy should not be afraid the only prob is her later drama (just as you said) SS children horrendous year by their 41yrs, is their year of narrow escape, I had 2 close people that died on this particular age. Anyway, treatment dey. |
| Re: A Brother Needs An Advice. by NGArmyTerrorist: 4:30pm On Oct 18 |
I no wan dab into this, I didn't read everything there but never marry a woman out of pity. Marriage is not a girl friendship that you can call off and take another immediately. It's like a lifetime stuff.. No, go do pass yourself, it's too early. |
| Re: A Brother Needs An Advice. by Tjra: 4:30pm On Oct 18 |
You are AA, she is SS. No issues. You said she is a good woman, marry her. |
| Re: A Brother Needs An Advice. by sexyto(m): 4:31pm On Oct 18 |
[quote author=ManLikeL post=140940403]Brothers, What Will You Advise a Brother? I'm currently confused about my relationship journey. I haven't really been the type to consider a serious relationship for a while now. It's just been a couple of sex partners here and there. We do it safely and keep things on a superficial level. Now, recently, there have been demands and questions here and there about starting a family, especially considering that my immediate junior brother is done having children. His lastborn will be three next month, while the lastborn of my family is also done having kids. Her firstborn is already 10 years old. I seem to be the only odd one out in this regard, even though I'm arguably more financially settled than all of them. Not to brag, please; I'm just trying to paint a clearer picture of the situation. I clocked 35 in May, and it was as if everyone in the universe agreed to centre their birthday wishes around God providing me with a wife and family. Ever since then, the reminders from my folks have been pretty loud, persistent, and disturbing. For the first time in years, I decided to seek a proper relationship, unlike my usual superficial flings and sexcapades. Come to think of it, I can barely go three days without proper sex. This detail should be useful later. I met this very beautiful babe from my state. She's 27, a first-class graduate (I am too, actually), and I'm naturally attracted to every facet of intelligence, especially communicative and academic intelligence. She has both, and I'm superbly into her. She can hold a very reasonable conversation without leaving you mentally exhausted. She's become an integral part of my life, and at this point, I think it's safe to say I'm deeply attracted to her and genuinely like her. Worthy of note is the fact that I've enjoyed a very unusual level of peace with her over the past three months, which is absolutely unlike me. I get correct anger ish, although I've learnt to manage it well. I'm not a violent person, but I pick offences easily, and most times, I walk away when provocations get too loud. More often than not, my walking away is goodbye. I'm so good at it. But since meeting this babe, we've not had any ugly disagreements over these past few months. She's very calm, calculated, and receptive. These qualities have made me like her even more. She has a reasonably good-paying job, but that's not even an issue. I earn well enough to cater for everything, but she's also financially independent. Gifting seems to be her thing, too, as she's spent quite a sum on gifts for me without expecting anything in return. I haven't even matched up to a quarter of what she's spent on gifting though. For the first time in my life, I agreed to a no-sex-before-marriage relationship because she's a virgin. I still dey run my games on a low, so this didn't really look like an ish. Here lies the rub. Just last week, she said she had a confession to make, and she opened up about being SS. Mind you, I'm AA, so, by the usual norms, this shouldn't be an issue. But during one of our previous conversations, she had claimed to be AS and asked if I would be comfortable settling down with someone who was SS. I almost freaked out. I'm sorry, but I've always wanted to have AA kids. With apologies to those affected, I've always believed that if I ever have children, I owe them the best possible chances at life, including heightened intelligence, beauty, and a sound genotype. I believe I have a reasonable degree of control over who complements my genes to bring these qualities to fruition. I'm honestly very good-looking and intelligent, so why not get someone who possesses these qualities, too? Call it insipid or vapid, but I could swear that life has already dealt some people heavy blows by limiting their options in their quest for a future partner. Unlike those of us with AA genotypes, who can consider partners across all the common genotypes without the same risk of having children with sickle cell disease Love is not always enough with time, if you want to marry her you must sort out alternative treatments and management of the crisis in the future. Your offsprings may also suffer, there are a lot of variables to consider b4 you commit. One who is love hears no caution but if you can come up with management strategies for her and her offsprings go ahead, everyone deserves love. |
| Re: A Brother Needs An Advice. by Dancebreaker: 4:32pm On Oct 18 |
ManLikeL:Dude, don't do it. Not due to stigma or whatever. She wasn't honest about something so vital. If your relationship were the nackological type, she could easily have been pregnant by now. Before you know it. Let her go. Let her find someone she can be fully honest with. And who will accept her as she is. Remember, although AS people are generally fine, a few may have health issues in certain situations. This can happen when you're dehydrated, doing performance sports, or living in high-altitude places like La Paz in South America. You will also complicate your children's marriage options. They have to avoid AS spouses. Why knowingly hand them such a burden? And also remember the complications your SS lady may still face ahead, including during pregnancy. Some will talk of advancements in science and technology to handle health conditions, but is it cheap? Is it universally available? Often not. If the lady was AA, would she advise her brother to marry an SS lady? Dude, you are not a saviour. |
| Re: A Brother Needs An Advice. by IPDGP: 4:32pm On Oct 18 |
Make someone summarize the story for Me |
| Re: A Brother Needs An Advice. by Kendollar696(m): 4:32pm On Oct 18 |
ManLikeL:Is they any signs that she's SS? Make she no run you street.. If truly she is, well its your choice to consider if you want to or not. I want to understand why she lied. SS no be something them dey rush talk especially when they like the person, not to kill the moji ![]() |
| Re: A Brother Needs An Advice. by AndroBlaze: 4:32pm On Oct 18 |
ManLikeL:Like you have been advised already, please don't sleep with her if you will not marry her. BTW having all AS children should be no big deal in the future as medical advances continue. |
| Re: A Brother Needs An Advice. by kenchop: 4:33pm On Oct 18 |
EVEN AS SHE JS SS, TRUST ME SHE WILL BE MORE USEFUL AND PEACEFUL TO YOU THAN A DOZEN OF THOSE USELESS AA GIRLS ROAMING THE STREETS. MARRIAGE WOULD HAVE BEEN MORE STRESSFUL IF ITS THE KID(S) THAT ARE SS. BUT SINCE ITS JUST HER, YOU CAN MANAGE IT WELL. PROTECT HER FROM MOSQUITOES AND LET HER EAT RIGHT I AM SPEAKING FROM EXPERIENCE. DONT ALLOW ANYONE DERAIL YOU ,MANY OF THOSE GIRLS THAT ARE AA WILL IN DUMP GARBAGE INTO YOUR LIFE. THANK ME LATER |
| Re: A Brother Needs An Advice. by WorldRichest: 4:34pm On Oct 18 |
Egoat:. Stop crying because you are AS. |
| Re: A Brother Needs An Advice. by UkoAnnang(m): 4:37pm On Oct 18 |
ManLikeL:I won't not discourage you neither would I encourage you to go ahead and marry her. But if you must marry her, you must be financially buoyancy at all times not just bragging on the internet. Taking care of SS lady especially during pregnancy is somehow, get a family doctor for her at that period. You must always be ready for health challenges that may occur at all times |
| Re: A Brother Needs An Advice. by Emmanuel72(m): 4:37pm On Oct 18 |
Dealing with SS partner in marriage isn't a tea party bro... It's adviceable you abort mission at this early stage ... Because in marriage ,love and good character might not be able to handle the weight of the mental exhaustion and regret. Wishing you best of luck. |
| Re: A Brother Needs An Advice. by LordIsaac(m): 4:37pm On Oct 18*. Modified: 11:12am On Oct 19 |
ManLikeL:Please marry her and thank me later. Amongst other qualities, she came to you armed with virginity and common sense. That's scarce in this generation. |
| Re: A Brother Needs An Advice. by PJ123: 4:40pm On Oct 18 |
Egoat:This is not appropriate. This is marriage; he has the right to determine what he wants or he doesn't want regardless of your position. Marriage is a personal journey and decision to proceed must be personal; not based on your third-party belief. Your approach is trying to box him to a corner. That's not right. The only thing I would advise him strongly against is calling off no sex before marriage. Please don't make that mistake with the lady in question. As for marriage, it's your choice and your choice only. All the opinions here will not matter at the end. Sit down and count your cost and make your choice!!! Please don't sleep with her and don't waste her time please. Make your position known as soon as possible. Your decision must not be based on pity, and opinions of another person. It must be based on your personal conviction; whatever the outcome of your decision, you have yourself to be blamed or commended. |
| Re: A Brother Needs An Advice. by tonykel1(m): 4:41pm On Oct 18 |
Please, go ahead and marry her already. When you get married, ensure you always stock your home with vegetables. This will go a long way ...... I am telling you from experience. I am 21 years in marriage, and we are still living together with 4 children, and none of us have had any health concerns to date. |
| Re: A Brother Needs An Advice. by DeltaBachelor(m): 4:42pm On Oct 18 |
lol. Truly, Academic brilliance is different from Life’s intelligence. Not to discredit or wash down your class of degree, but if at this age and time, a certified AA genotype individual is still at loggerheads and at a crossroads as to whether he is compatible with his/her SS partner, on the grounds of “Children’s health and possible future permutations as to their own future partners”, then permit me to authoritatively say that the AA person doesn’t deserve the SS person at all. A confirmed SS virgin lady willing to break her revered hymen to prove her love, trust and readiness for a long-term relationship and your focus is not even on her own SS well-being o, because they do have episodes a lot but rather on your offsprings and their academic abilities and health. This sounds quite disrespectful and selfish if you ask me. For your info Mr AA, a lot of us are first-class graduates with B.Eng (not B.Sc , LLM- I put that for a reason and even confirmed AA genotype with “O” blood group - again , I put that for a reason and we still haven’t come across a lady willing to sacrifice what this young lady is about to do for you. Mr Man, you don’t deserve her. Have you not seen two AA’s and First class graduates giving birth to Autistic kids ? Don’t play with this lady’s love abeg. If you don’t love her - PLEASE LET HER GO before she does something she will regret. Remember, hell hath no fury ……..Have a nice day ! |
| Re: A Brother Needs An Advice. by Henix(m): 4:43pm On Oct 18 |
Stephen0mozzy:U have said my mind |
| Re: A Brother Needs An Advice. by seanery: 4:46pm On Oct 18 |
Lols FATHER OF THE HOUSE. TELL US YOUR AG FIRST TO START WITH. Modified 35yrs |
| Re: A Brother Needs An Advice. by Pray4meJC(m): 4:46pm On Oct 18*. Modified: 5:34pm On Oct 18 |
It is saddening to see virgins marry womanizers and serial cheats because of their own blindness. Most women don't know how to choose partners when it comes to marriage. Marriage is a spiritual journey and when you ignore the author of marriage the Almighty God, you will choose wrongly and suffer the consequences severely later. If OP were to be a child of God with personal relationship with Him in Spirit and Truth, I would have say seek His direction. That option is out because a carnal man can't hear or see the things of the spirit. My candid advice is for both of you to separate, genuinely repent and seek God's direction. If you're just an ordinary person that doesn't believe in God, then make sure you're mentally prepared for what is ahead of you psychologically, financially, emotionally and health wise. Boy friend and girl friend relationship is absolutely different from marriage life. This lust go vanish the moment you have sex with her. Don't destroy the life of that young girl if truly she is a virgin. I will engage her and that SS go vanish before wedding night. Be guided. |
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