A Brother Needs An Advice. - Romance (3) - Nairaland
Nairaland Forum › Nairaland General › Romance › A Brother Needs An Advice. (21926 Views)
Poll: What should he do?
Wish her well and take a walk
42% (39 votes)
Stay with her and learn to be supportive
57% (53 votes)
This poll has ended |
| Re: A Brother Needs An Advice. by nduchucks: 4:47pm On Oct 18 |
OP, for your information there are already approved gene therapies, and several curative-intent trials are in process in places like the USA. Casgevy (CRISPR-based) and Lyfgenia (lentiviral) received FDA approval in December 2023. Both use your own edited stem cells and are generally for severe disease. A matched-donor stem cell transplant is the longest-established cure, but it depends on finding a suitable donor. Given the advent of AI in medicine, in the next 5 years treatment that will cure it may become readily available worldwide. If I were you, I'd hold this lady very tightly. |
| Re: A Brother Needs An Advice. by folake4u: 4:48pm On Oct 18 |
So everybody on this thread is just going to ignore the fact that the Op admitted to cheating on his virgin girlfriend? Just like that? For the first time in my life, I agreed to a no-sex-before-marriage relationship because she's a virgin. |
| Re: A Brother Needs An Advice. by DMerciful(m): 4:48pm On Oct 18 |
Go ahead and marry her. You should stop playing God. You're AA and thats good for all genotypes. Your kids being AS is not an issue. Mind you, you're also not perfect! ManLikeL: |
| Re: A Brother Needs An Advice. by franchasng: 4:49pm On Oct 18*. Modified: 1:16am On Oct 19 |
Babaibeji2020:Why do you guys think certain things are impossible or let me say, impossible to see certain people on Nairaland? What is a first class? I missed being a first class by 0.02 and it was because I was not sociable in school and most lecturers didn't liked me like the only guy that made the first class in my department which is more like an impossibility; Mech. Engine Dpt. You guys should learn to stop seeing Nairaland as a gathering of nodowells and failures, there are lots of well to do members and guests on this forum that I know of including myself and many that only read and pass. Nairaland have more intelligent people than Naija x or tiktok, just that Nairaland is an anonymous forum where anything goes so most people keep their identity anonymous for the fun of it. Now to the Op's topic and question, I felt so emotional reading his story, sighs life. I have had SS friends, they are usually intelligent and reserved, one was a Doctor sighs, another a Pastor currently and also married. If they could all find a partner I believe God will do it for the Op's girlfriend cos the Op sound like a perfectionist who thinks life is like a drawing book where one draws all his life wishes and plan and it happens that way. I was born super intelligent, always the best from small, that kid other parents used to give example to their children, thats me. I grew up very secluded from others, my best friend growing up was my mother, may her beautiful amazing soul continue to rest in God's bossom. She drew me so close to God and reading the Bible as a teen. She told me Bible stories and made me to realize consequences of sin and hurting others and this shaped my life till today; I am very careful of hurting others, especially those that didn't hurt me. I was so reserved that almost all my university days I didn't had sex lol, though I finally ate the forbidden fruit in finals, does sign of the cross ❌ Why am I telling all these stories? I want to draw a point; Op lack empathy and he believes life will go just as he has planned, he will learn reality of life with time as I learned myself and realized and reason I now approach life differently. In life, you can never have everything perfectly as you desire, something must keep you constantly praying or seeking for answer or solution; some it's finance, some its health, some it's finding spouse, some is finding a good paying job, some it's having kids, some it's having cool headed kids or kids that are perfectly okay with one or two health challenges, some it's addiction (drugs, etc), some it's always ending up with betrayals and inhouse enemies. So dear op, prepare for it, life can never be perfect for you or anybody, something must be missing. I disliked certain people in certain profession, at the end, I ended up marrying someone in that profession. I planned to become a Professor before I turned 40 as per growing up and wishes, at the end, it has taken me years now still struggling to finish PhD lol. I planned and wished to become a billionaire before age 40, today I am 40 and not yet a confirmed billionaire but some childhood friends, course mates and former colleagues that once looked up to me as a role model are confirmed Naira billionaires today while I struggle to get to that point despite having everything so planned out and doing everything I ought to do. Growing up, I wished not to have a girl child, I said I will have only two boys, today I am a proud father of a boy and more than one pretty girls, and I now seem to cherish girl childs even more ![]() Life have made me to realize that truly the race is not for the brave or the strongest or the wisest or the most intelligent or the most beautiful people, but of God that showeth mercy when He chooses to show us mercy and reason I laugh at Tinubu supporters who believe life and events will all play out as they and Tinubu have planned it to be like a movie, life will equally teach them one or two lessons. So dear op, if you know you don't have sincere feelings, empathy and the heart to walk on that life path with the lady, please don't mislead her or lead her on. They said people should not marry for pity but that is a lie, it's a professional advice not based on reality. You must be empathetic to your partner at some point. Our God is a merciful God too, He is compassionate and shows us mercy when we do not merit His mercy, so why must we His children be so mean in our decisions just because we want to act the way relationship counsellors who still fail in their own relationships told us? There is nothing wrong in marrying someone based on empathy haven considered other good qualities of the person. Op said he doesn't want to have an AS child, what sort of bullshiiit is that? If you say you don't want to have an SS child, that's understandable but saying you don't want to have an AS child so that your children bla bla bla, then you are joking and thinking you are so perfect without blemishes, you better think again young man ![]() |
| Re: A Brother Needs An Advice. by 7upnigeria: 4:51pm On Oct 18 |
ManLikeL:The way you write dey burst my brain. Consider fictional writing. And about the lady, take the decision that's best for YOU AND YOUR FUTURE. |
| Re: A Brother Needs An Advice. by seanery: 4:55pm On Oct 18 |
QUICKLY GET ALL THE CHILDREN FROM HER, CUZ SS PEOPLE DONT LAST LONG ON EARTH. |
| Re: A Brother Needs An Advice. by Wotowotoman: 4:58pm On Oct 18 |
ManLikeL:Ogbeni, which kind job you dey do with your first class in Microbiology? 🤔 |
| Re: A Brother Needs An Advice. by Levels1(m): 5:01pm On Oct 18 |
You sound like a kid as such I don't expect you to contribute to adults talk till when you turn one. In a relationship, a lies kills everything unless God resolved issues She claimed to be AS before to win his heart and after she felt she has gotten him, she now open up, who dies that. The man is at liberty to decide either to go ahead with her or not as if it were to be other way round,she won't think twice before moving on. As per the sex aspect ,what makes you think she's also saying the truth about her status ? and even if it was saying the truth, you acted like a man by trying to erase her terms and condition by setting in yours, you actually do not commit a crime but trying to protect your interest. On her living long in life, that lies on God's hand and not human being. The fact that one is AA doesnt means the person will live longer than one with SS but God knows how he does is things due medically we human might be scared but at the same time, she has grown a I've the most dengerous Age which falls BTW age one to eighteen Egoat: |
| Re: A Brother Needs An Advice. by Problemssolver: 5:11pm On Oct 18 |
Have you never lied to her or have you told her that you are a runs guy? If the future is your problem and you aren't ready to help her and stand by her let go as a virgin. AA CAN MARRY SS. |
| Re: A Brother Needs An Advice. by CzarChris(m): 5:31pm On Oct 18*. Modified: 11:32pm On Oct 18 |
ManLikeL:This is a tough one to crack of you ask me. I can understand why she lied, so don't hold that against her. The question here is can you shoulder the weight of being married to a lady who has sickle cell. So at the end of the day, it comes down to you. I had a colleague who was a sickler, he is in his mid forties now and is leaving a premium life now in Canada. But it wasn't easy for him when he was here in Nigeria, he had a crisis almost every other month. So ask yourself can you handle this? We can't make this decision for you. Weigh it yourself and know what's best for you. NB: as one guyman to another guyman, please stop the philandering. I can tell you for free, it's not worth it. |
| Re: A Brother Needs An Advice. by Armanipounds: 5:33pm On Oct 18 |
At some point, you made everything about you, and I totally understand people of your ilk who loves, wines and dines on narcissism. Over to your story, lying I won't say she shouldn't be forgiven for that, but what I hate is someone who lie recklessly or what they call unnecessary lies... So if you are of the opinion that her lying then was a little bit justified, in terms of the fear of losing you, fashi it and look forward to the future with her... |
| Re: A Brother Needs An Advice. by Father4all: 5:33pm On Oct 18 |
ManLikeL:you are selfish |
| Re: A Brother Needs An Advice. by ogbogo22: 5:34pm On Oct 18 |
I wouldn't want to say anything here |
| Re: A Brother Needs An Advice. by mctech(m): 5:35pm On Oct 18 |
When I read that she spends freely on you without expectations, I knew there will be a catch, either immediately or in marriage. And yes, she lied to you because you were not smart/circumspect with her. If you had told her something like 'SS doesn't matter as long as I love her personality' she would have opened up. People like testing the waters before disclosing something unpleasant about themselves, it's wisdom to play along as a guy. You don't know how many relationships she has lost and if she had ever met an AA who ticks the right boxes. That being said, take this decision with clear mind and knowledge. The limit of your care will be tested if you have to spend weeks in the hospital. Find out how their pregnancy is managed, especially. Also, can an SS match your sexual energy or you want to continue humping around while being married to her? |
| Re: A Brother Needs An Advice. by socoharley: 5:38pm On Oct 18 |
ManLikeL:I won't want to openly say you should quit and run,but I I won't also want you to suffer the consequences...Its all up to you to decide because only you will face the future. |
| Re: A Brother Needs An Advice. by babzlim(m): 5:39pm On Oct 18 |
Like u said everything about her ticks good aside bin SS, look at the bright side, you're A.A and if u don't marry her another lucky A.A gentle man will and I hope u won't regret it later. This kind of women comes once in a man's life .. Talking from experience Bro. |
| Re: A Brother Needs An Advice. by olakan22: 5:39pm On Oct 18 |
I hope she sees this. She doesn't have to be desperate. She may have lost a relationship before because of her genotype. Lying is bad but she felt she should come out clean before y'all get too serious, that's highly commendable. If that's all it is to it, she could make a good partner. However, if someone has told a lie before, what stops them from telling another? On the other hand is you, the unfaithful lover. Is it fair that someone this conscientious end up with you? If you really love her. Kindly, break it up with her, you owe her that at least. You should note however that nothing in life is certain. What if you marry someone with AA and a few years into marriage, she develops a disease condition? Would you dump her? Lastly, your talk about inheriting intelligence has nothing to do with being AA. ManLikeL: |
| Re: A Brother Needs An Advice. by reubenobi(m): 5:43pm On Oct 18 |
ManLikeL:you are happy sleeping with women that you are not married to thinking that's how it ought to be. There are consequences of every actions we take. Deal with that corruption that lies in you first else, it will be an open invitation for the devil to come in when you want to get married. The two shall become one is when you are married but now, you have become one with every woman you go about sleeping with in the spirit. My advice for you is to repent! |
| Re: A Brother Needs An Advice. by LordReed(m): 5:44pm On Oct 18*. Modified: 10:31am On Oct 19 |
ManLikeL:I think you are on the right track. It is not vapid to think about the kind of outcomes you want your future children to have. You are the one involved in this relationship so you have a say on whether it is what you want or not. I encourage you to talk to this lady and let her know how you feel then let her down as gently as you can. There is no future with the 2 of you together as you have strong feelings in a different direction. Don't pity her now and then have an issue later, it will be worse than letting her go now. |
| Re: A Brother Needs An Advice. by Frankcallys(m): 5:45pm On Oct 18 |
Damn it! She lied to you and now you don't trust her no more. You know what, give me her phone number let me caution and advise her properly. I don't like this kind of nonsense she did 🤔 |
| Re: A Brother Needs An Advice. by WatchYourSix: 5:46pm On Oct 18 |
ManLikeL:Resist the urge to shàlaye…. Pple dont really care about the shalaye that much…. They are just insecure and tackling others to make themselves feel better inside |
| Re: A Brother Needs An Advice. by Obinoscopy(m): 5:49pm On Oct 18 |
Based on your story I'll advice you stay with her. She's human and was afraid of losing you. Don't take advantage of her. If she prefers no sex before marriage, I'll recommend you respect her wish. The most important question is: do you love her? And do you think she loves you? If the answer to both questions is yes then go ahead and get married. No time to waste time. |
| Re: A Brother Needs An Advice. by Kevineleven(m): 5:53pm On Oct 18 |
seanery:Oh God This matter strong o Poor girl |
| Re: A Brother Needs An Advice. by WatchYourSix: 5:53pm On Oct 18*. Modified: 11:06am On Oct 19 |
olakan22:Which kind yeye “what if” be that….. ?? Person dey try give himself brain about confirmed crisis patient that their chances of reaching old age is on 50/50 things.,….u dey blackmail am with another what if as reason to accept the girl…. Mind yourself oooo….. u be SS ?? Btw… where did u read him saying inheriting intelligence is related to being AA… ?? Make una dey clam down dey read… |
| Re: A Brother Needs An Advice. by twosquare(m): 5:55pm On Oct 18 |
You have to be selfish in your choice of a partner because you are expected to be selfless in marriage. I also hope you know how to manage a crisis when it comes. Sure, advanced science may provide a cure in not too distant a future, but the risk and decisions are yours to make after all. If it will pay you. ManLikeL: |
| Re: A Brother Needs An Advice. by Father4all: 6:02pm On Oct 18 |
Now, I know why she is still a VIRGIN because she attended Northern university. At it been she attended Southern university........... ![]() |
| Re: A Brother Needs An Advice. by Shinor(m): 6:03pm On Oct 18 |
JimD:Absolute bull.... Keep your advice in Sambisa |
| Re: A Brother Needs An Advice. by Father4all: 6:05pm On Oct 18 |
Tenrack:what are you saying? |
| Re: A Brother Needs An Advice. by Lekby25: 6:07pm On Oct 18 |
ManLikeL:Asking for God's direction means asking God whether to go ahead marrying her or not. |
| Re: A Brother Needs An Advice. by spiceadole(f): 6:20pm On Oct 18 |
So despite forming alpha males and red pillers online, a lot of men have shown some form of empathy on this thread. They are even encouraging their gender to consider a lady with sickle cell anaemia. Truly,Y'all don't know what HbSS is, for real. No wonder AS and AS still getting married. Una well done oh |
| Re: A Brother Needs An Advice. by ManLikeL(op): 6:21pm On Oct 18*. Modified: 7:10pm On Oct 18 |
Lekby25:God is too busy for this, bro. |
| Re: A Brother Needs An Advice. by Father4all: 6:22pm On Oct 18 |
Dancebreaker:you are a complete bad person. You should have said people that are SS should not marry at all. Rubbish |
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