₦airaland Forum

Rukemi291: Why should I? Can i contest for election in his Local Government?

Yes off course, by virtue of marrige.

Brennie001: My own worry is on woman dat after marriage dont change their median name but add their husband's name at the end, e.g Ngozi Okonjo- Iweala, Okonjo here is her father's name and Iweala, her husbands name... Any suggestion pls

Cos she had made so much achievement wit her maiden name. I still use my maiden name along wit my marital name on Facebook cos non of my lost friends can ever find me wit my marital name. Its a matter of choice all the same.

omiobo: I overheard a man saying a wife should not only claim the surname of her husband but also the state of origin.
Is a woman suppose to claim the state of origin of her husband?
Your opinion nairalanders.

U haven't seen men that claim state of origin of their wives?

drnoel: U haven't seen men that claim state of origin of their wives?

I've not seen except you.

.

drnoel: U haven't seen men that claim state of origin of their wives?

Where/when did that happen?

At this rate, men will soon breastfeed the kids and be called mrs, since the women are morphing into the men.

I started this topic two years ago and I stand by what I stated on that thread(check below for link), I am not from my husband's state. I married into that state but my state of origin is same as my father's. My husband's state can never be my state of origin neither can I claim or tell people when they ask me I am from there.

My kids (not I) come from daddy's state of origin.....because a man married me does not automatically turn me into Oliver Twist that claims and wants all....I had an identity before I married him and will continue to have it until the day God calls us home in good old age

https://www.nairaland.com/716421/where-exactly-it

ckkris: Yes, according to African traditions

Really? Which of the traditions are you talking about? You know in Africa we have so many of them, so please state it here.

jennykadry: I started this topic two years ago and I stand by what I stated on that thread(check below for link), I am not from my husband's state. I married into that state but my state of origin is same as my father's. My husband's state can never be my state of origin neither can I claim or tell people when they ask me I am from there.

My kids (not I) come from daddy's state of origin.....because a man married me does not automatically turn me into Oliver Twist that claims and wants all....I had an identity before I married him and will continue to have it until the day God calls us home in good old age

https://www.nairaland.com/716421/where-exactly-it

Gbam!!!! exactly my point! like I said earlier, my kids are half me, half my hubby as a matter of fact. That is a way to enjoy the rich cultural heritage we love when we marry from different races.

I never had the slightest notion that this should be an issue. Its really a big one.
Just went tru that link jenny provided.

Me and hubby r from d same state but not same lga. In all my official documents, I use my lga.
This is confusing

According to Nigerian law, the woman can claim either.

There was a bill that was sponsored about a year ago in the house to prevent the woman from claiming her state of origin, but that was purely because of political beef, as women could fall in line in which ever direction was pleasing to her. I wonder if that bill was passed sef.

jennykadry: I started this topic two years ago and I stand by what I stated on that thread(check below for link), I am not from my husband's state. I married into that state but my state of origin is same as my father's. My husband's state can never be my state of origin neither can I claim or tell people when they ask me I am from there.

My kids (not I) come from daddy's state of origin.....because a man married me does not automatically turn me into Oliver Twist that claims and wants all....I had an identity before I married him and will continue to have it until the day God calls us home in good old age

https://www.nairaland.com/716421/where-exactly-it

state of origin is irrelevant.

omiobo: I've not seen except you.

but ofcourse cos if u have seen u won't talk as u did would u? Myopia is not just a sin but a disease. Anyway I know someone currently working in his wife's state using local government coverage. Then again state of origin is irrelevant, citizenship is what nigerians should be interested.

drnoel: but ofcourse cos if u have seen u won't talk as u did would u? Myopia is not just a sin but a disease. Anyway I know someone currently working in his wife's state using local government coverage. Then again state of origin is irrelevant, citizenship is what nigerians should be interested.

?

drnoel: but ofcourse cos if u have seen u won't talk as u did would u? Myopia is not just a sin but a disease. Anyway I know someone currently working in his wife's state using local government coverage. Then again state of origin is irrelevant, citizenship is what nigerians should be interested.

Working in your wife's state is different from claiming your wife's state.

Case study /Survey

Please ask 2 Nigerian women what their state if origin is and please tell us what their answer reveal.

Simple.
----------
@other thread
Even your own mom claims her hubby's State of origin according to you, so why is this weird/ foreign to most people like kind slavery ?...

Ah ah evolution and 21st century I get it.

I've stated my own response in my post, I mean why wait for the over flogged next question when I can kuku spew both response in the first place and waka pass

Those Yoruba grandmas will give you that look if you state your fathers state of origin. Like I said earlier maybe it's a cultural thing but seeing that other thread I guess it's not afterall.

Claiming your husbands state of origin is not right. If we are to go by the true definition of origin one would see that we all are getting it wrong. No woman in my family except my mum who married before exposure, technology and womens right came into existence has ever claimed to be from their husbands state. You can claim it from now till tomorrow but the hard core truth is , you are not from there.

Back in the day I understand that women had to give up a lot for their husbands but not now. Even foreigners ask me where I am from and my first question to them is .......originally? Cos I wanna know if they are asking for my country of origin or adopted country

What am i even saying sef,my mum and dad come from same state but different villages. It's his village she claims to come from

Feminists have revolutionized every simple marriage concepts and practise into slavery.

It is well.

Same village oh, diff LGAs oh,old school oh I'm following her footsteps and claiming my hubby's State of Origin shikena. I no get pawa for argument this evening I wan chop.

drnoel: but ofcourse cos if u have seen u won't talk as u did would u? Myopia is not just a sin but a disease. Anyway I know someone currently working in his wife's state using local government coverage. Then again state of origin is irrelevant, citizenship is what nigerians should be interested.

Ok so what's your point?

I am not a feminist and never claimed to be one. This is common sense and does not require any gra gra. I married into a family does not mean I should automatically change where I was Born to his. He has his origin and I have mine. My kids are from his place no argument there.

I was born into my fathers family and that's where I claim to come from.....marriage or not I have an identity to keep.

Marriage is not slavery Abeg, you don't lose yourself and everything you have just because you are married. Same way some men nag that their wives have refused to drop their maiden name and have attached it to their husbands name, like omotola's husband will say...kini big deal? There are much bigger and more important battles to fight in marriage and name change isn't one of them.....

*sighs*

Okay
The first paragraph was my view and general statement and wasn't directed at anybody .

How do you came about losing one's identity and slavery from just a change of status ? Loose everything How? I don't get it.

Listen, no need to have the identity jitters, everybody probably know who you are and who born who, I don't think answering your hubby's state of origin will change a thing....yeah Kini big deal? That's the way I see it too.

And if we want to Truthfully talk bout state of origin here , ideally ALL our kids born in diaspora shouldn't claim their Dad's SOO too then, abi why is this peculiar to married women only?

@Maiden name, I had my hubby's blessing to keep it hyphenated with his last name by the way... Just like I am relevant in ALL his life decisions too.

There are more important things in marriage to spend energy on, like @Drnoel said , SOO is irrelevant and least of most Men's worry.
Rarely you see any responsible man fight about it.

is this still being debated in the house of reps?

http://leadership.ng/nga/articles/46413/2013/01/30/reps_divided_over_state_origin_status_married_women.html

nigerians and kalokalo.

My kids can claim their place of birth as their state of origin or choose their dads like I said I could care less. I wasn't born in the village but I chose to go by my fathers place of origin. It's everyones choice where they choose to claim but calling claiming your husbands place of birth ideal is just blaaaaaaaa......if we are to define origin.

Threads and comments on this thread make me appreciate what God blessed me with, a man who could care less where you claim to be from, a man who has already started drumming it into the ears of his kids where him and mum come from.


Please you lose it all, you think losing things is when things are physically taken away from you? Pleaseeee....taking another mans state of origin whilst abandoning mine is not losing my identity eh kwa? Abeg. I am not suffering from "post marriage over sabi and can't wait to change my status" syndrome.

I still kept my dads name for a while before including hubby's....the name on my passport only changed when I renewed it......I repeat there are more important battles to fight and complete change of status isn't one of them.


I remember reading a thread where women had to change their signature after marriage, for where? Excuse me but my siggy is a combo of my first name and my maiden name and has remained so till date.....thank goodness I have a man who knows his worth and isn't bothered about petty things .

jidegirl12: Feminists have revolutionized every simple marriage concepts and practise into slavery.

It is well.

Same village oh, diff LGAs oh,old school oh I'm following her footsteps and claiming my hubby's State of Origin shikena. I no get pawa for argument this evening I wan chop.

My own mother has never claimed to be from her husband's state.

Jidegal, I think its cultural thing. Honestly I've never seen or heard of a married woman claiming state of origin of the hubby. At least from my side.
Ask anybody and they will comfortably tell u I'm so so and so, married to so so and so but I'm from so so and so state.


I've met some igbo ladies and on d course of intro, most will state their state of origin b4 the husband's own.

We learn everyday.

jennykadry: Ok so what's your point?

I beg help me ask am. There are many musiwas on nairaland.

yellowpawpaw: I never had the slightest notion that this should be an issue. Its really a big one.
Just went tru that link jenny provided.

Me and hubby r from d same state but not same lga. In all my official documents, I use my lga.
This is confusing

It's a big deal, a female friend of mine was the reason why I started that thread. She asked me and I mentioned my dad's. anyways we all got talking once and hubby mentioned his hometown which was completely different from what I had said months before. So she was like ahn ahn, how come we both were mentioning different places and I was like yea, hubby is from XYZ and I am from XYZ....and she was like haa, where they come from they have to take up hubby's oo.

I did ask, mum once why she always mentioned daddy's village and she was like, if you listen very well that I would also hear hear her say di'm(my husband) is from so so and so, that's is where I married into. Some people when they hear that would push to know where she "originated" from, then she would mention it, but if you don't ask, she won't say.

You are right though, it is a cultural thing and it is more prevalent in certain culture .

yellowpawpaw: Jidegal, I think its cultural thing. Honestly I've never seen or heard of a married woman claiming state of origin of the hubby. At least from my side.
Ask anybody and they will comfortably tell u I'm so so and so, married to so so and so but I'm from so so and so state.


I've met some igbo ladies and on d course of intro, most will state their state of origin b4 the husband's own.

We learn everyday.

What won't I see on NL... Hmmm twists and turns , okay oh , say whatever suits your spirit.

First of all YPP listen and learn, if you check my second post, I made it clear that this is a choice and not mandatory , also your post ^^ explains my third post ,

so whether you accept it or not you'd notice when you ask most Nigerian women that question, they all mostly fail the objective question with their response right there, why ? Because they always state their own/hubby's state of origin and vice versa then continue with unsolicited explanation....( I'm so so and so married to so so and so , answer the damn objective question if you're indeed sure )

@other thread, its was obvious how worrisome and unpleasant you were, your fellow Igbo mate even explained /told you that's the way it is so no need to say otherwise ..., people change their opinion and motion I get it but trashing , blaaaaing and condemning other people's belief is what I frown at and it is disrespectful.

It's a 'cultural thing' yet the house of rep is yet to pass the bill and the major Reps are Igbo and Hausa?

I starting to think Y'all rebellious attitude towards this 'non- issue' is 'cultural' because you guys ( igbo) are unnecessary & overly suspicious annnnnd wary of other people's perception of y'all being 'owned' especially since the already huge bride price propaganda is still a lingering awe to public and media.
And for the non-Igbos ,I think it's just feminist slash 21st century follow follow them dey do, I mean how will they belong?


Fine by me, do what's best for you and I do mine.

It's a piece of cake to me just like it is for my hubby who supported my maiden name use, I have nothing to lose, We own properties in both home towns , I don't attach my Livelihood and marriage to a mere state of origin, I am NOT A BASTARD and I know who born me and I know my Father's compound heck my functioning passport doesn't even have anything Nigerian on it so whats the headache?
I'm only doing what's expected of me culturally because I respect elders and my culture and inferring culture I mean A WHOLE NIGERIA.

Thank you.

tpia@:
Working in your wife's state is different from claiming your wife's state.

True talk but the job he got was only slotted for people of his wife's ethnic group and he lives in his wife's community.

jidegirl12: I'm only doing what's expected of me culturally because I respect elders and my culture and inferring culture I mean A WHOLE NIGERIA.

What about the culture of having the man as the breadwinner and the woman as the homemaker? Do you respect that one? I mean since you respect culture so much.

Buuahahahahahahahahahahaha oh boy.

I stand by what I said earlier it's just blaaaaaa