₦airaland Forum

carefreewannabe:
Is the husband trying to get a new job or has he been doing nothing for a long time?

If the husband cannot be accused of laziness, then what the woman does is very wrong.
It's her responsibility to be there for him.

You have said that even his libido is affected by unemployment. It seems that the man is very unhappy and struggling.
To deny him food in a tough life situation is wrong.
This is not what marriage is about.

Her respect should not depend on his income or the lack of it as long as he is trying.

.... and you think the wife wasn't trying all along? Let's face it we are humans so situationns like this should be understood.
I should ask it for the past months who has been feeding him all along? You?

Now it has gotten to her. She's breaking down. I can only understand her pains.
Instead of her to cheat on him, she's trying to bring out the man in her husband which to me is a good thing.

Some women in her shoes would have done worse even some commenting above me.

*sees a shoe flying towards me.

I dodge am.

SAMBARRY:
Ok I have a business proposal for Mr husband.

He can be coming to eat in my house whenever he's hungry for as long as he gets a job but as soon as he gets a job, he's paying me back every penny I spent during his trying times. However he will sign a document to refund every single dime when he's ok.for instance

vegetables-600 naira
Assorted meat-1000 naira
Stew-400 naira for a week

but he has the liberty to dictate what he wants to eat but my money, it's certain that I am collecting every naira back and our business is over. Deal?




let me show you sample

this food nor be hear ooooo.... I can perceive the aroma

Who knows what he did to her when his sun was shining .

butanep:
this food nor be hear ooooo.... I can perceive the aroma

yes o.another sample.

beeevan:
Who knows what he did to her when his sun was shining .

Why do women like playing victim card? What if this wasn't the case? What if she is merely succumbing to her human nature?

Like I said its not good to take any side otherwise the issue won't be resolved.

Kirinwa:
.... and you think the wife wasn't trying all along? Let's face it we are humans so situationns like this should be understood.
I should ask it for the past months who has been feeding him all along? You?

This here is a public forum. The thread was created on a public forum. The question at the end of this thread is "Is the woman right or wrong?"
I have shared my opinion on the question on a public forum. The question was NOT whether I feed him.

If you can understand the woman's position so well, why can't you understand the man's position?

Now it has gotten to her. She's breaking down. I can only understand her pains.
Instead of her to cheat on him, she's trying to bring out the man in her husband which to me is a good thing.

How do you know she is breaking down?
How is cheating even a potential solution?

Some women in her shoes would have done worse even some commenting above me.

I don't see how potential cheating justifies withholding food from your husband.
Do you know if he is struggling to get a job? Do you think hunger will help him get a job?

*sees a shoe flying towards me.

I dodge am.

Not my style.

SAMBARRY:
yes o.another sample.

abeg ooo... nor let me go eat 4 dream

Lol @ access to free food.

Carefreewannabe this one you separated my writeup into stanzas. Hmm Diaris God o.
I thought I was clear enough in it.

butanep:
abeg ooo... nor let me go eat 4 dream

wey the mr husband sef? Me I no dey for all this one. If he's not interested in the business deal. Make imccontinue to suffer in the claws of his wife.


my own is to make money

Kirinwa:
Carefreewannabe this one you separated my writeup into stanzas. Hmm Diaris God o.
I thought I was clear enough in it.

So?

Kirinwa:
Why do women like playing victim card? What if this wasn't the case? What if she is merely succumbing to her human nature?

Like I said its not good to take any side otherwise the issue won't be resolved.

Which victim card? The man withheld sex, how sure are we that he doesn't wanna sell till the smart business woman beat him to it. Did you ask the woman what really transpired? Men cry out loud when a woman they have been 'shiting' and pissing on does 'nwa nchikiri' something in retaliation .


I think the dude here is the one playing the victim card.

If I wasn't understood I SAID in issues in marriage who's RIGHT or WRONG is not the solution but WHAT should be done to remedy it.

Let nobody go all diplomatic on me as if some women don't cheat when faced with economic/financial problems.For the fact the man wasn't complaining of unfaithfulness probably means the wife is quite disciplined.

Desperate times call for desperate measures. This is a wife who doesn't want to wake up and see their bags thrown out of the house because of house rent. I would assume they have children. Won't their school fees, food etc be provided.

@ Carefree why I asked if you were the person feeding him- a rhetorical question is because you were talking as if the woman wasn't trying all along.

Why don't I understand the man's situation? Seriously I do understand it cos am adult male and I believe he's not trying enough and needed to be woken up to reality. I even went further to suggest barrow pushing.

How are we sure the thing can stand sef? Situations like these kills a man's libido. Maybe he is hiding it from the wife. But this man it a good husband ohh, he didnt force the woman to submission, he didnt marry another wife, he is not cheating, he didnt beat her up, the wife is used to him providing so one year is like one decade,he doesnt drown his sorrow in alcohol, he actually pays the woman when he can use strong head, he asks people not to put his wife in line but to help him beg. Op, abeg help me beg the wife to give him a little more time and help boost his ego, so he can find a reason to cherish her when things get better.
Btw, sambarry this your offer of 'payable when able' is equal to bad debt ooo.

ifyalways:
Why is this an issue?

Make the man give madam 6 hot rounds tonight and madam will make him 6 different soups by morning.

No need for long grammar. na dem two hold knife, hold yam so the earlier them co-operate, the better for dem.

Hmmm hw many round can u handle?

SAMBARRY:
yes o.another sample.

abeg ooo... nor let me go eat 4 dream...

beeevan:
Which victim card? The man withheld sex, how sure are we that he doesn't wanna sell till the smart business woman beat him to it. Did you ask the woman what really transpired? Men cry out loud when a woman they have been 'shiting' and pissing on does 'nwa nchikiri' something in retaliation .


I think the dude here is the one playing the victim card.

If you understand what I have been doing its called playing devil's advocate. Am being as neutral as I can be. That's the best way to solve this problem.

Why I said you were playing victim's card is because you were asking who knew what the man did to her when situation was good. Which made it look like she was victimized which is a wrong assumption seeing it was not expressed, infered nor conveyed from Op's narration.

From the writeup the man didn't withhold sex to punish her, nobody chases rat when his house is on fire-mind you am not saying sex is not important. Am merely saying it wasn't his priority and his mind just wasn't on it.

The wife miscontrued it as signs of cheating by her husband which was false.

Truth is anytime communication breaks down in marriage a lot go wrong. Never live a single day without discussing or communicating with your spouse. Thank God for phone calls, internet chatting, video calls etc Make use of it and try not to be separate for too long.

Wetin be my own. I don offer am easier alternative. When he's tired of suffering, he will let me know

egopersonified:
How are we sure the thing can stand sef? Situations like these kills a man's libido. Maybe he is hiding it from the wife. But this man it a good husband ohh, he didnt force the woman to submission, he didnt marry another wife, he is not cheating, he didnt beat her up, the wife is used to him providing so one year is like one decade,he doesnt drown his sorry in alcohol, he actually pays the woman when he can use strong head, he asks people not to put his wife in line but to help him beg. Op, abeg help me beg the wife to give him a little more time and help boost his ego, so he can find a reason to cherish her when things get better.
Btw, sambarry this your offer of 'payable when able' is equal to bad debt ooo.

egopersonified:
How are we sure the thing can stand sef? Situations like these kills a man's libido. Maybe he is hiding it from the wife. But this man it a good husband ohh, he didnt force the woman to submission, he didnt marry another wife, he is not cheating, he didnt beat her up, the wife is used to him providing so one year is like one decade,he doesnt drown his sorry in alcohol, he actually pays the woman when he can use strong head, he asks people not to put his wife in line but to help him beg. Op, abeg help me beg the wife to give him a little more time and help boost his ego, so he can find a reason to cherish her when things get better.
Btw, sambarry this your offer of 'payable when able' is equal to bad debt ooo.

How we can be sure if the thing can stand well is for you to go and check it yourself. Eheh nah to be sure.

egopersonified:
How are we sure the thing can stand sef? Situations like these kills a man's libido. Maybe he is hiding it from the wife. But this man it a good husband ohh, he didnt force the woman to submission, he didnt marry another wife, he is not cheating, he didnt beat her up, the wife is used to him providing so one year is like one decade,he doesnt drown his sorry in alcohol, he actually pays the woman when he can use strong head, he asks people not to put his wife in line but to help him beg. Op, abeg help me beg the wife to give him a little more time and help boost his ego, so he can find a reason to cherish her when things get better.
Btw, sambarry this your offer of 'payable when able' is equal to bad debt ooo.

I carefully read through your writeup and I must say you did justice to it. It simply implies that you have a nice personality and kind heart...
I think the woman need to bear with the man till things get better.

Kirinwa:
If you understand what I have been doing its called playing devil's advocate. Am being as neutral as I can be. That's the best way to solve this problem.

Why I said you were playing victim's card is because you were asking who knew what the man did to her when situation was good. Which made it look like she was victimized which is a wrong assumption seeing it was not expressed, infered nor conveyed from Op's narration.

From the writeup the man didn't withhold sex to punish her, nobody chases rat when his house is on fire-mind you am not saying sex is not important. Am merely saying it wasn't his priority and his mind just wasn't on it.

The wife miscontrued it as signs of cheating by her husband which was false.

Truth is anytime communication breaks down in marriage a lot go wrong. Never live a single day without discussing or communicating with your spouse. Thank God for phone calls, internet chatting, video calls etc Make use of it and try not to be separate for too long.

Only the people in the bad marriage knows where the rain started beating them. I only assumed the wife may be rewarding him for his past misdeeds.

beeevan:
Only the people in the bad marriage knows where the rain started beating them. I only assumed the wife may be rewarding him for his past misdeeds.

For the woman to be thinking her husband is cheating while he's not means they are no longer on talking terms.

cococandy:
Na wa.
Husband won't give sex. Locking up his p5nis
Wife won't give food. Locking up her pot.
Wife starts selling the food to husband.
E remain make husband demand money for sex from her.


_{end time couple}

Konji made her sell food to her husband

iamrealdeji:
The woman is very wrong,ive not heard her own side of the story,but judging from your post,shes one ruthless woman,at least,Bo oko e lashiri now

biko hell hath no fury like a woman denied of sex

Mondisweets:
biko hell hath no fury like a woman denied of sex

So women love it as much as men? Pretenders dey sha.

Kirinwa:
So women love it as much as men? Pretenders dey sha.

well she clearly does!

Mondisweets:
biko hell hath no fury like a woman denied of sex

No wonder,the woman retaliated in a big way

Kirinwa:
For the woman to be thinking her husband is cheating while he's not means they are no longer on talking terms.

How sure are you that he is not? If he is, will he out rightly admit that if he isn't caught?

beeevan:
How sure are you that he is not? If he is, will he out rightly admit that if he isn't caught?

How sure are you that he is? In marriage we don't assume this kind of thing. It makes you biased. As long as op didn't hint it or suggest it let's not bring it in ourselves.

butanep:
There is nothing a woman can't do. I was surprised to hear that a woman sold food for her husband because he didn't provide money for food.
This happen today as I was coming from church. The issue so interest me that I wanted to know the rational behind such act. I didn't want to jump into irrational conclusion, so I decide to know in details.
Source close to the woman said the man has lost his Job for year and has been sustaining via the woman. I also gathered from a close source that the man recently refused to have sex with the woman. Reason because he is not happy with his present situation. The woman became unhappy, feeling the man is cheating on him, but I don't know how true the accusation levied on the man is...
Since the woman is now the bread winner of the house, he refused to give the man food for days and after much apology, she decide to sell her food for her husband.
The husband said he is tired of buying food from his own wife, so he decide to call other to beg his wife to allow him get assess to free food before he get a job.
I was surprised about the development. What do you see about this... Is the woman right or wrong?

This is the kind of thing I do say God forbid.

butanep:
I carefully read through your writeup and I must say you did justice to it. It simply implies that you have a nice personality and kind heart...
I think the woman need to bear with the man till things get better.

Thank you for understanding my point of view.