₦airaland Forum

Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen,

This is a situation that needs your opinion/contribution/advice.

A very good friend of mine is having a running battle with his girlfriend lately, it has to do with the issue of marriage.

However, via email, he sent me the conversation he had with his girlfriend today and hence asked for my advice.

As expected, I've given him my opinion and thought it wise to copy and paste the conversation between two of 'em here for you guys to analyze and contribute asap. Thanks.


12/10/2014 00:29:07: Funke: So ur sis hasn't called me o thot u gave her my no the other time
12/10/2014 00:36:25: Ohis: Nope I didnt
12/10/2014 00:36:44: Ohis: U didn't want to talk to her
12/10/2014 00:39:46: Funke: Ehn ehn na so thot I told u that u can give her
12/10/2014 00:40:51: Ohis: Well ok
12/10/2014 00:41:15: Ohis: I'll tell her to call wen I'm able to call her
12/10/2014 00:41:42: Funke: Hmmm kk just asking
12/10/2014 00:42:09: Ohis: No wahals
12/10/2014 00:42:29: Funke: Aiit
12/10/2014 00:44:00: Funke: Just say it as is it though it's kind of early but do u think u can make it by dec?
12/10/2014 00:49:25: Ohis: Not so sure as I'm yet to get job
12/10/2014 00:53:21: Funke: Hmmmm so it means that if u don't get a job early enough u won't come abi?
12/10/2014 01:02:50: Ohis: I need some money for my ticket
12/10/2014 01:02:48: Funke: Ans na
12/10/2014 01:06:14: Funke: Of course I knw u need some money for ur ticket thot u had everything worked out or will work it out when u get der like u told me
12/10/2014 01:07:07: Ohis: Will do
12/10/2014 01:06:46: Funke: But that doesn't ans my question
12/10/2014 01:10:23: Funke: Anyway where am actually going is that if u don't make it in dec then it means till the end of ur programme later/end of next year abi?
12/10/2014 01:11:10: Funke: Or is der a break in between?
12/10/2014 01:12:57: Ohis: They said there will btw Jan-feb
12/10/2014 01:13:50: Ohis: Ok
12/10/2014 01:14:18: Funke: Jan-feb ohk o
12/10/2014 01:15:07: Ohis: If its till d end of d prog? What happens
12/10/2014 01:16:17: Funke: I don't want to imagine what will happen
12/10/2014 01:18:18: Funke: I just knw it means u are working/planning 2wards ur 1-2 years marriage plans
12/10/2014 01:19:13: Funke: Cos we will definitely not marry next year if we go by that
12/10/2014 01:19:43: Funke: So it means we are looking at upper year upwards
12/10/2014 01:19:53: Ohis: Why would you think so?
12/10/2014 01:20:57: Ohis: I cant do upper year. My mind is set on next yr
12/10/2014 01:20:57: Funke: Becos of the facts on ground
12/10/2014 01:21:36: Ohis: My prog according to them ends july
12/10/2014 01:23:12: Funke: Ehn ehn ohk o I av voiced my concerns
12/10/2014 01:25:53: Ohis: Ok. Is sombody giving u deadline?
12/10/2014 01:26:15: Ohis: ☺
12/10/2014 01:26:55: Ohis: Just asking
12/10/2014 01:27:55: Funke: Oh really or shld I say seriously are u asking me that
12/10/2014 01:28:56: Funke: This isn't about anybody but me incase u don't knw am not 18 or 21 or even 25 ohk
12/10/2014 01:29:28: Funke: Time waits for no one am going to be 30 next yr
12/10/2014 01:30:17: Ohis: U ave entered d quarrel tone now.
12/10/2014 01:31:13: Funke: I av my life to think about and plan for when do u expect me to start having kids if by 30 I don't even knw when I will get married talk more of kids
12/10/2014 01:31:16: Ohis: I kno ur concern, I hav mine
12/10/2014 01:32:34: Ohis: We are not quarrelling. I agree
12/10/2014 01:33:32: Funke: Whatever concerns u av it doesn't compare to mine cos like it or hate it u are a guy and u can decide to marry anytime u feel u are set and ready
12/10/2014 01:33:53: Ohis: We shud b praying that everytin works out and not let doubts like dis spoil d prayers we hav made already
12/10/2014 01:33:57: Funke: I on the other hand don't av that luxury
12/10/2014 01:34:34: Ohis: Ok.
12/10/2014 01:35:33: Funke: I am but am just letting u knw so we will be on the same page
12/10/2014 01:36:11: Ohis: Ok we are.
12/10/2014 01:36:49: Ohis: Wat r u really afraid of?
12/10/2014 01:37:22: Funke: Aiit since u say so no p
12/10/2014 01:37:51: Ohis: Is dat u wont marry or u wont have kids bcuz of wat u av heard frm oda pple
12/10/2014 01:38:04: Ohis: ?
12/10/2014 01:38:25: Ohis: Just tell me
12/10/2014 01:38:45: Ohis: Cuz leaving u is not part of it
12/10/2014 01:38:49: Funke: Me afraid keh! I just don't want to say I told u so
12/10/2014 01:39:07: Ohis: Told me so how?
12/10/2014 01:40:38: Funke: Leaving me or not is not really the issue I just don't want to prolong any thing further
12/10/2014 01:40:56: Funke: It's time for the next step
12/10/2014 01:41:19: Ohis: I kno it is
12/10/2014 01:42:35: Funke: Fine then let's work towards doing it fast and move on
12/10/2014 01:42:56: Ohis: Yes ma
12/10/2014 01:43:52: Funke: Na so don't ma me o
12/10/2014 01:45:34: Funke: U let's make visible plans, pray and work towards it
12/10/2014 01:46:41: Funke: Cos am tired of not been sure how my life drama with u will work out at the planned time
12/10/2014 01:48:25: Funke: I don't want to be in the dark I want to knw the breakdown of all the major plans and sub plan to get to where we intend to get to
12/10/2014 01:50:35: Ohis: Ohis life drama!
12/10/2014 01:52:24: Ohis: Smh
12/10/2014 01:52:26: Funke: Ehn ehn what about it?
12/10/2014 01:53:01: Funke: Na so
12/10/2014 01:53:05: Funke: Why?
12/10/2014 01:53:26: Funke: Everyone has life drama abeg
12/10/2014 01:53:38: Ohis: Guess u r tired of me?
12/10/2014 01:54:01: Ohis: N my life drama.
12/10/2014 01:55:27: Funke: Don't rope me I didn't say that
12/10/2014 01:56:26: Funke: But if u keep prolonging the marriage I might be
12/10/2014 01:56:44: Ohis: From ur tone dats what I can sense
12/10/2014 02:01:27: Ohis: I hope its marriage u r talking abt n not wedding, cuz som people get married n start to regret. So I hav concluded on my part all these I kno.
12/10/2014 02:02:04: Ohis: Have you concluded on your own part?
12/10/2014 02:03:03: Funke: Story u and I knw am talking about marriage
12/10/2014 02:03:30: Ohis: Okh
12/10/2014 02:05:03: Ohis: Ohis Life Drama
12/10/2014 02:05:10: Ohis: ☺
12/10/2014 02:07:13: Funke: Why sudden intrigue by the word life drama?
12/10/2014 02:09:58: Ohis: Cos am tired of not been sure how my life drama with u will work out at the planned time


(This email only includes the most recent 585 messages; truncated by Windows Phone.)

Sent from my Windows Phone

Replace their Names

I just want to book space
while I start displaying my couch and order for drinks and chicks

pickabeau1:
Replace their Names

Thanks. They aren't on this forum and besides, anyone could be Ohis and anyone could be Funke....

As far as I didn't get to use their full names, That's not a problem. Don't you think so?

Now, How on earth should a girl in this modern day and age be so insisting about marriage to a guy who isn't working yet but hustling hard to make ends meet?

Please, what is needed here is valid/matured advice.

I fail to see why details of a very private conversation should be made public in the first place. That says a lot about the characters of @OP and his "friend".

donogaga:
Thanks. They aren't on this forum and besides, anyone could be Ohis and anyone could be Funke....

As far as I didn't get to use their full names, That's not a problem. Don't you think so?

Now, How on earth should a girl in this modern day and age be so insisting about marriage to a guy who isn't working yet but hustling hard to make ends meet?

Please, what is needed here is valid/matured advice.

Let the guy free the girl

^^ Read between the lines.

I've already given my advice.

Too easy...

Is this a new trend Creating topics on chats
This Funky will just make an end time wife
The guy should run.
What was she doing when others were getting married




BTW...

































































This property is not for sale!!

If he can't get a job before the deadline then they should both move on.

If is the kind of marriage she wants,then i am sorry for her.After tomorrow she will stress the poor guy for not having a job.

EfemenaXY:
I fail to see why details of a very private conversation should be made public in the first place. That says a lot about the characters of @OP and his "friend".

Don't be caught up with the fallacy of making hasty conclusions. It has nothing to do with my character, not at all. Don't judge me because you don't know me.

Do you think am insane for pasting this dilemma down here? This isn't a JOKE!!!

If you can't contribute meaningfully and hence add value, Then just pass and let others have their say without being judgmental.

i have nothing to say

donogaga:
Don't be caught up with the fallacy of making hasty conclusions. It has nothing to do with my character, not at all. Don't judge me because you don't know me.

Do you think am insane for pasting this dilemma down here? This isn't a JOKE!!!

If you can't contribute meaningfully and hence add value, Then just pass and let others have their say without being judgmental.

Have I judged you yet?

Re: the bolded, your words, not mine.

Hmmm..... Some gals get mind o! The guy needs a job infact marriage is not even close for both of them. But den again the chick is thinking her age and mk I tlk true........







She haf old o! 30 no be beans.

pickabeau1:
Let the guy free the girl

Bro, its not that easy. He is really into her. They have invested in each other so as to achieve upward mobility in their relationship and they have spent time together with a focus on building a good relationship.

The main issue started when he informed her of his desire to travel abroad to further his studies.

Well, He left for UK Three weeks ago to commence his Masters Program @ the University in UK.

Now, The girl is putting the guy under duress.

EfemenaXY:
Have I judged you yet?

Re: the bolded, your words, not mine.

Its Ok.

Moving forward, The guy in question is a very good friend of mine.

donogaga:
Bro, its not that easy. He is really into her. They have invested in each other so as to achieve upward mobility in their relationship and they have spent time together with a focus on building a good relationship.

The main issue started when he informed her of his desire to travel abroad to further his studies.

Well, He left for UK Three weeks ago to commence his Masters Program @ the University in UK.

Now, The girl is putting the guy under duress.

Age is not on the girl side
She is also realistic as she knows next year will not fly for him so its 2016 at the earliest

That's If he does not Ditch her

Lett him free her

If its meant to be they will be together still

Can I read all these? Nah Nah

Acidosis:
Can I read all these? Nah Nah

My dear,i can't fit

Abeg advice yourself, or better still summarise no be everyone get this kind time OP

Honestly i understand the lady. I am sure that the fact that it's and LDR makes her even more insecure. But she needs not threaten the man or put him under more stress. Now that she has voiced her concerns and given him a time frame of when she wants to be married, I think he should ask the lady in clear terms what she will do if it does not happen as she has planned, how she will cope if he does not get a job on time, if she does not mind financing their home until he is stable enough to help and all that. There is more to marriage than 'all my mates are married'. Let them both discuss without getting into a quarrel. And if the solution is for them to break up then no problems.

cdamsel:
My dear,i can't fit

Abeg advice yourself, or better still summarise no be everyone get this kind time OP

I jes tire.

Choi. So my mata don reach nairaland

5minsmadness:
Choi. So my mata don reach nairaland

Stop lying jere

Godmystrength:
Stop lying jere

RODFLMAO!!!

I had this same conversation last night only I was ohis and the bobo was funke.

I understand the babes concerns though, LDR changes people. Maybe she has other people on her case now and she wants to be sure where she stands so she doesn't lose out at the end because guys can be funny. My friend was dating this guy for 5 years, they had even planned how they will get married only for him to travel abroad for his masters and after like 2 months he told her he wants to serve God. That was how 5 years got wasted.

5minsmadness:
Choi. So my mata don reach nairaland

Who this be like?