₦airaland Forum

Bunsky:
Dön't even know what to say,meanwhile let me call people that can give you advice,i called them the inspiration one's,b'cos they do insire me.
Godmystrength
mizmycoli
chaircover
carefreewannabe
aisha2
cococandy
greatgod2012
Tallesty1
ifyalways.u guys are needed here.

He said he needs advice on an issue and u called d whole world. Not fair oo

DukeNija:
Bros abeg no vex o, is it your wife who doubles as life partner and mother of your children you are referring to with such disdain?
You seem to be a very angry person who feels he's doing a woman a favor by marrying her. I am not married, but I felt the urge to say I am very disappointed in your choice of words towards your wife. I take care of people who are not even related to me by blood, financially and otherwise and I never feel I'm doing them a favour, how much more my own family.

You sound like you were forced to marry her, like you didn't propose to this woman, didn't buy her an engagement ring and all that, like she was begging to become your wife. I went through your post and I couldn't even find what she did so wrong for you to hate her this much, even up to the point of contemplating divorce.

Using words like "putting her under my roof", "feeding her and our kids" "bitching about everything" is just too disrespectful to your wife and I'm afraid your marital challenges can be traced to your negative attitude towards your her. Please approach your marriage with a better countenance and see your wife as you see yourself by truly loving her and sincerely appreciating her contributions to your home. And yes you need to praise her for cooking, cleaning after you and your child, taking care of you and maintaining the home. Yes, you must praise her. Try telling her how much you appreciate her efforts and cooking, and how delicious her food is and see if she won't be overjoyed and do something special for you.
Women complain a lot, my mom, sisters, gf every woman I know can complain, it just doesn't make them bad people. That's just their way of communicating sometimes.

And pls if you are tired of putting her under your roof, u can send her to me. I have a very large flat with four rooms that can comfortably accommodate her. *Just kidding*

I read your response and can only laugh. Young man i have been married for 10years (had a party 2months for this) and believe me i have seen a lot.
My 1st year was rough and i only got wiser in handling things at home.
I have mediated in marital issues that i sometime tell myself that If i was this Guy i would just pack and go.
If u r not married pls dont give advice on marital issues.

alutacontinua:
Did your supplier mix something else with your weed?

He's not alone. You have to wonder about the people who have liked his posts. Many sick people around here.

mk3jax:
Well I have a similar issue with my wife. She was miss perfect agreeing to everything I want when she was looking for marriage and after marriage, her real self started to manifest. First it was constant complain about my family for no reason, then she graduated to wanting to control my life and determine who I am to give money or not and where I can and cannot go. She complains about everything and never appreciating anything I do. I provide all the financial need of the house 100% yet she want me to take care of her parent and siblings(both married and single ones) like i am their father and every time I refuse to send them money it is quarrel. She also expect me to praise her for almost everything she does like I demand same praise for putting her under a roof, paying all the bills, feeding her and our child and making her as comfortable as possible.
She bitches about everything I do making me feel like i am a child that doesn't have a sense of making my own decision despite being very successful in my career and handling lots of real life responsibilities that she can never imagine doing.
After the birth of our child, she turned to something else which in turn made me to make up my mind that I will never have a second child. She has time to watch all her tv programs to make herself happy but as soon as I pick my remote to play a game despite working from morning to night while she sits at home, she complains and I have over time disregarded her complains and do what I want to do to make myself happy. I have just one life to live and being married to someone doesn't gives them a control over my life and if you don't want to stay married to me again, then get the fu.c.k out of my life and go take care of yourself. I almost divorced her sometime ago but just decided to calm down. I hope we do not separate because of my love for our child but if we have to, then so be it because I will not live a life of a prisoner because of a child.

Respect Sir.

My brother, remember first and foremost that in marriage your partner is a stranger. You start learning to live with each other. Secondly, she's your WIFE and not a maid. Stop complaining about not cooking for you, being disrespectful and not doing this and that. That's not the definition of modern marriage; any marriage for that matter. It's not a contest. Why not humble yourself and learn to please her instead and watch her eat out of your palms.

Women are unpredictable, even me am having that challenges in my marriage, the woman I use my hard ain resource to train In the higher institution, and later secure job for her in the bank, later she said she is tired of the bank job I secure a distributorship in one company and the bizns is going fine. She hadly respect me, she disrespect me a lot, she talk to me any way she like, despite the fact that I still play my responsabilty as a man, I wonder how she will treat me if I lost my job. Just that I have never beating a woman b4 I for adopt that method to see If she can change, I have use all sort of approach, both dialoge and other approach still no regards am even thinking of stoping that bizns and make her a house wife, maybe that will humble her.

@liyuboy, what was she like before you got married? What changed in her behavior exactly?

Bibol:
@Bolded, weird line of thought but there's truth in this

just do a small investigation into this, you will be surprised, it goes both ways as well.... men and women..... a spouse should be the reason why you should be in a marriage not the kids.... the kids are the by product of the marriage, not the reason for the marriage

kITATITA:
My brother, remember first and foremost that in marriage your partner is a stranger. You start learning to live with each other. Secondly, she's your WIFE and not a maid. Stop complaining about not cooking for you, being disrespectful and not doing this and that. That's not the definition of modern marriage; any marriage for that matter. It's not a contest. Why not humble yourself and learn to please her instead and watch her eat out of your palms.

What exactly is the meaning of a modern marriage?

Second, how old are you?

I'm assuming that you're a man.

mk3jax:
Well I have a similar issue with my wife. She was miss perfect agreeing to everything I want when she was looking for marriage and after marriage, her real self started to manifest. First it was constant complain about my family for no reason, then she graduated to wanting to control my life and determine who I am to give money or not and where I can and cannot go. She complains about everything and never appreciating anything I do. I provide all the financial need of the house 100% yet she want me to take care of her parent and siblings(both married and single ones) like i am their father and every time I refuse to send them money it is quarrel. She also expect me to praise her for almost everything she does like I demand same praise for putting her under a roof, paying all the bills, feeding her and our child and making her as comfortable as possible.
She bitches about everything I do making me feel like i am a child that doesn't have a sense of making my own decision despite being very successful in my career and handling lots of real life responsibilities that she can never imagine doing.
After the birth of our child, she turned to something else which in turn made me to make up my mind that I will never have a second child. She has time to watch all her tv programs to make herself happy but as soon as I pick my remote to play a game despite working from morning to night while she sits at home, she complains and I have over time disregarded her complains and do what I want to do to make myself happy. I have just one life to live and being married to someone doesn't gives them a control over my life and if you don't want to stay married to me again, then get the fu.c.k out of my life and go take care of yourself. I almost divorced her sometime ago but just decided to calm down. I hope we do not separate because of my love for our child but if we have to, then so be it because I will not live a life of a prisoner because of a child.

My friend, believe me that the way it is. They love that control. Do you know that I call my wife my manager.
Infact I want to hang out on Friday, i will start sweet talking her from Monday. I did similar stuff my first year and learnt it wasnt working.
See at a point I got to understand that women are built with internal strenght. If 2 of una bring wahala, na your own go first beg (excuse my language). Sorry i have to stop cos i am using my phone. Take care and all the best

Guy wot kind of trash is dis, two year down d line u already hav two kids wot kind of lied is dis on dis beautiful sunday?

mk3jax:
Well I have a similar issue with my wife. She was miss perfect agreeing to everything I want when she was looking for marriage and after marriage, her real self started to manifest. First it was constant complain about my family for no reason, then she graduated to wanting to control my life and determine who I am to give money or not and where I can and cannot go. She complains about everything and never appreciating anything I do. I provide all the financial need of the house 100% yet she want me to take care of her parent and siblings(both married and single ones) like i am their father and every time I refuse to send them money it is quarrel. She also expect me to praise her for almost everything she does like I demand same praise for putting her under a roof, paying all the bills, feeding her and our child and making her as comfortable as possible.
She bitches about everything I do making me feel like i am a child that doesn't have a sense of making my own decision despite being very successful in my career and handling lots of real life responsibilities that she can never imagine doing.
After the birth of our child, she turned to something else which in turn made me to make up my mind that I will never have a second child. She has time to watch all her tv programs to make herself happy but as soon as I pick my remote to play a game despite working from morning to night while she sits at home, she complains and I have over time disregarded her complains and do what I want to do to make myself happy. I have just one life to live and being married to someone doesn't gives them a control over my life and if you don't want to stay married to me again, then get the fu.c.k out of my life and go take care of yourself. I almost divorced her sometime ago but just decided to calm down. I hope we do not separate because of my love for our child but if we have to, then so be it because I will not live a life of a prisoner because of a child.

if that be the case; she has a serious problem.

kITATITA:
My brother, remember first and foremost that in marriage your partner is a stranger. You start learning to live with each other. Secondly, she's your WIFE and not a maid. Stop complaining about not cooking for you, being disrespectful and not doing this and that. That's not the definition of modern marriage; any marriage for that matter. It's not a contest. Why not humble yourself and learn to please her instead and watch her eat out of your palms.

really? interesting crap.... but hey modern man...... whatever rocks your boat sir

coogar:
•she doesn't respect you
•she doesn't appreciate you
•she is a moaner
•she compares you to her father all the time.

divorce isn't even needed now. man up & give her father a call. break it down to him how he has failed as a father to bring up her daughter the proper way.

tell him how disappointed you are to have been scammed to marry a damaged good(his daughter). tell him you are few inches away from driving a dagger into his daughter's heart & if care is not taken, he would be burying his daughter instead of celebrating christmas....

trust me, things would change......

Excuse me!

coogar:
i don't even do weed....too cheap.
my choice revolves round angel dust, charlie & amphetamines





it's the 21st century....
any father in law that has the support of his erring daughter would get verbally lashed to have done a terrible job as a father.

i would spell it out to him how he is an irresponsible father to his children. parents that are family oriented would nudge their daughter to behave herself in her matrimony - not fan the embers of fire.

I agree with u

@ op you still have to check yourself very well. Its not enough to be a bread winner, always bringing food to the house and buying expensive things to please her. Some men feel its all about that and they disrespect their wife and talk to her anyhow. Some men cannot involve their wife in decision taking in the family and when the woman talks its of less importance. Many men think its only their opinion that matter. You do not carry the woman along how do expect her to be happy. Again you sound like a man that keeps the wife at home so that when you are back your food already on the table. You dont think she deserves to earn some money because you are afraid that she can have access to the things you buy for her and as such would not be loyal to you. You tell her what ever belongs to you is for two of you but you pack your money in your pocket and spend the way you want and buy anything you think is good for her and wait for her to beg you before you give her some money. You ought to examine yourselfe very well. Even some men have series of dos and donts for the wife to follow diligently. Always excercising power and authority as the bread winner to a dormant wife. Then be ready for obstinacy, disrespect and nagging. For me you can buy me the latest car to show the world that you are the best husband as long as you do not carry me along, you are on your own.

mk3jax:
Well I have a similar issue with my wife. She was miss perfect agreeing to everything I want when she was looking for marriage and after marriage, her real self started to manifest. First it was constant complain about my family for no reason, then she graduated to wanting to control my life and determine who I am to give money or not and where I can and cannot go. She complains about everything and never appreciating anything I do. I provide all the financial need of the house 100% yet she want me to take care of her parent and siblings(both married and single ones) like i am their father and every time I refuse to send them money it is quarrel. She also expect me to praise her for almost everything she does like I demand same praise for putting her under a roof, paying all the bills, feeding her and our child and making her as comfortable as possible.
She bitches about everything I do making me feel like i am a child that doesn't have a sense of making my own decision despite being very successful in my career and handling lots of real life responsibilities that she can never imagine doing.
After the birth of our child, she turned to something else which in turn made me to make up my mind that I will never have a second child. She has time to watch all her tv programs to make herself happy but as soon as I pick my remote to play a game despite working from morning to night while she sits at home, she complains and I have over time disregarded her complains and do what I want to do to make myself happy. I have just one life to live and being married to someone doesn't gives them a control over my life and if you don't want to stay married to me again, then get the fu.c.k out of my life and go take care of yourself. I almost divorced her sometime ago but just decided to calm down. I hope we do not separate because of my love for our child but if we have to, then so be it because I will not live a life of a prisoner because of a child.

Hmmmn! This one dikwa serious oo! Smh! Some women sef! God have mercy!

my advice- forget about her, concentrate on ur 2 kids, make urself happy. life is too short. marriage is like a parcel-when u open it, u take whatever u find inside

God had said it that he who finds a good wife has found favor in His eyes.
Being a good woman goes beyond having a good job, beauty,wealthiness, influence or her ability to satisfy you in bed.
It has to do with attitude and character.
Most young ladies do not want to associate with the husband's immediate family especially the mother.
At the same time,a lady who does not honour or respect her own parent can never respect her husband s.
I will also advice unmarried guys on this platform never to marry an aggressive lady especially if you are a cool type.
Also ensure that your parent has no reserved comment against her.
This is a pain most good men carry about.

liyuboy:
Hello Peep, i need ur advise,, i am married to a woman i tot was of a certain characteristics upon marriage and two years down the line my only source of happiness are the two children (Boy and Girl) we have.

Despite all I do (as bread winner) to please her she is not appreciative, she disrespect me, she doesn't cook for me, she complains too much, she compares me to her father daily even though i have told her her mother has a better character than her that is why her father would do anything to please her.

I am always unhappy becos of her character, i am thinking of seeking divorce.

What do u guys think?

it well...something is wrong somewhere,maybe she is suspecting u having an affair with another women or the other way round. sit her down and try to found out what you did to be treated like that.But most of all,ask for the wisdom of God to see you through your marriage issues.

odepacy:
Guy wot kind of trash is dis, two year down d line u already hav two kids wot kind of lied is dis on dis beautiful sunday?

very possible, maybe one was born briefly before wedding.

Morotov1:
You need a fuccccking vacation to clear your head. Ever wonder what this wife of yours will say about you, it always goes both ways. Sport your shitttts out without resentment.



And please buy another television....okayyyyy!!!!!!!

How old are you......why all this fowl language,,,,A man is pouring his heart out and talking about what he is experiencing,,,,,,,,,,If u were even married,,ur comment would be dignified but u are not and abusing a married person try to communicate his experience.....Please appologise to him and try to comment positively next time

kITATITA:
My brother, remember first and foremost that in marriage your partner is a stranger. You start learning to live with each other. Secondly, she's your WIFE and not a maid. Stop complaining about not cooking for you, being disrespectful and not doing this and that. That's not the definition of modern marriage; any marriage for that matter. It's not a contest. Why not humble yourself and learn to please her instead and watch her eat out of your palms.

see ds woman wrapper..tchww...so she shudnt cook for him....so he shud be d one whose to please the wife bt nt vice versa..who pls

kITATITA:
My brother, remember first and foremost that in marriage your partner is a stranger. You start learning to live with each other. Secondly, she's your WIFE and not a maid. Stop complaining about not cooking for you, being disrespectful and not doing this and that. That's not the definition of modern marriage; any marriage for that matter. It's not a contest. Why not humble yourself and learn to please her instead and watch her eat out of your palms.

see ds woman wrapper..tchww...so she shudnt cook for him....so he shud be d one whose to please the wife bt nt vice versa..oh pls

coogar:
•she doesn't respect you
•she doesn't appreciate you
•she is a moaner
•she compares you to her father all the time.

divorce isn't even needed now. man up & give her father a call. break it down to him how he has failed as a father to bring up her daughter the proper way.

tell him how disappointed you are to have been scammed to marry a damaged good(his daughter). tell him you are few inches away from driving a dagger into his daughter's heart & if care is not taken, he would be burying his daughter instead of celebrating christmas....

trust me, things would change......

u didn't nid to make any comments. If u guys dnt have meaningful things to say, u shud jst discard d thread and check d next. Must u always talk trash?

soledadd:
@ op you still have to check yourself very well. Its not enough to be a bread winner, always bringing food to the house and buying expensive things to please her. Some men feel its all about that and they disrespect their wife and talk to her anyhow. Some men cannot involve their wife in decision taking in the family and when the woman talks its of less importance. Many men think its only their opinion that matter. You do not carry the woman along how do expect her to be happy. Again you sound like a man that keeps the wife at home so that when you are back your food already on the table. You dont think she deserves to earn some money because you are afraid that she can have access to the things you buy for her and as such would not be loyal to you. You tell her what ever belongs to you is for two of you but you pack your money in your pocket and spend the way you want and buy anything you think is good for her and wait for her to beg you before you give her some money. You ought to examine yourselfe very well. Even some men have series of dos and donts for the wife to follow diligently. Always excercising power and authority as the bread winner to a dormant wife. Then be ready for obstinacy, disrespect and nagging. For me you can buy me the latest car to show the world that you are the best husband as long as you do not carry me along, you are on your own.

a distressed man is crying for help, with all the complains he gave, and all you say is ' it is not enough to be a bread winner? would you tell the same if it was the wife that complained?

..bunch of hypocrites.

liyuboy:
Hello Peep, i need ur advise,, i am married to a woman i tot was of a certain characteristics upon marriage and two years down the line my only source of happiness are the two children (Boy and Girl) we have.

Despite all I do (as bread winner) to please her she is not appreciative, she disrespect me, she doesn't cook for me, she complains too much, she compares me to her father daily even though i have told her her mother has a better character than her that is why her father would do anything to please her.

I am always unhappy becos of her character, i am thinking of seeking divorce.

What do u guys think?

What we think? Did you ask us what our opinions were b4 marrying her? Its your music, face your dance oooo

odepacy:
Guy wot kind of trash is dis, two year down d line u already hav two kids wot kind of lied is dis on dis beautiful sunday?

Two years means; Two years + <= 5 months.

mk3jax:
Well I have a similar issue with my wife. She was miss perfect agreeing to everything I want when she was looking for marriage and after marriage, her real self started to manifest. First it was constant complain about my family for no reason, then she graduated to wanting to control my life and determine who I am to give money or not and where I can and cannot go. She complains about everything and never appreciating anything I do. I provide all the financial need of the house 100% yet she want me to take care of her parent and siblings(both married and single ones) like i am their father and every time I refuse to send them money it is quarrel. She also expect me to praise her for almost everything she does like I demand same praise for putting her under a roof, paying all the bills, feeding her and our child and making her as comfortable as possible.
She bitches about everything I do making me feel like i am a child that doesn't have a sense of making my own decision despite being very successful in my career and handling lots of real life responsibilities that she can never imagine doing.
After the birth of our child, she turned to something else which in turn made me to make up my mind that I will never have a second child. She has time to watch all her tv programs to make herself happy but as soon as I pick my remote to play a game despite working from morning to night while she sits at home, she complains and I have over time disregarded her complains and do what I want to do to make myself happy. I have just one life to live and being married to someone doesn't gives them a control over my life and if you don't want to stay married to me again, then get the fu.c.k out of my life and go take care of yourself. I almost divorced her sometime ago but just decided to calm down. I hope we do not separate because of my love for our child but if we have to, then so be it because I will not live a life of a prisoner because of a child.

and she was dying to have a marriage now she got it., she doesn't cheerish. it. she should thank herself dat u provide and she has no job. she never see suffer. make she come my area come see how women dey provide for their children . how dey do it is none of d man's business

rofemiguwa:
Geeez!!! Is this legal, sharing someones'4 diary.
Seun this shouldnt be right, there is a reason it is called a diary.it is very private.
The share button shouldnt work in the diary section.

Mizmycoli please make sure this person approves this sort of exposure.its not a literature thread,it is a DIARY

So What is it doing on a "public" forum If It's a "private" diary?
How old are you? Am curious

Ymodulus:
Rotten useless item.

He should divorce her an move on. The is the 21st century no time to wallow in pains all cause of a girl. Women are NVR to be trusted.

Ogbeni. How far .

With all these stories I am hearing,I doubt If I still want to get married. Tufiakwa, being unmarried has all the advantages,
Freedom
Lots and lots of real sex
Plenty of friends
Lots of parties and celebration
You can still have companion without getting married.

And Please you must be rich to enjoy a single life,If not na OYO u They oooo