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Are You Feeling Suicidal? Come Here First! (part 2) - Family - Nairaland

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Are You Feeling Suicidal? Come Here First! (part 2) by Tgirl4real(f): 4:06pm On Jul 04, 2013
The thoughts of starting a counselling/encouragement thread for people that are depressed or suicidal had been on my mind for a long time now. I wanted to create an avenue where they can open up and get solace from people around here.

I really don't know how to put this down, but if you are feeling depressed and battling with the thoughts of suicide, kindly share so that we can all go through it together. Through our interactions, we can help lift the burden and who knows, you can actually find a solution to your problem here.

This is the old thread:

https://www.nairaland.com/826801/feeling-suicidal-come-here-first

Please let's share...

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Re: Are You Feeling Suicidal? Come Here First! (part 2) by maclatunji: 4:10pm On Jul 04, 2013
Endorsed/supported/appreciated.

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Re: Are You Feeling Suicidal? Come Here First! (part 2) by Nobody: 4:22pm On Jul 04, 2013
Good one inputs coming up
Re: Are You Feeling Suicidal? Come Here First! (part 2) by Nobody: 4:31pm On Jul 04, 2013
If you are assailed by suicidal thoughts, the first thing to remember is that many people who have attempted suicide and survived ultimately feel relieved that they did not end their lives. At the time of attempting suicide they experienced intense feelings of despair and hopelessness because it seemed to them that they had lost control over their lives and that things could never get better. The only thing that they still had some control over was whether they lived or died, and committing suicide seemed like the only option left. This is never true.

Some of the thoughts that may accompany suicidal thoughts include:
• I want to escape my suffering.
• I have no other options.
• I am a horrible person and do not deserve to live.
• I have betrayed my loved ones.
• My loved ones would be better off without me.
• I want my loved ones to know how bad I am feeling.
• I want my loved ones to know how bad they have made me feel.

Whatever thoughts you are having, and however bad you are feeling, remember that you have not always felt this way, and that you will not always feel this way.

The risk of a person committing suicide is highest in the combined presence of (1) suicidal thoughts, (2) the means to commit suicide, and (3) the opportunity to commit suicide. If you are prone to suicidal thoughts, ensure that the means to commit suicide have been removed. For example, give tablets and sharp objects to someone for safekeeping, or put them in a locked or otherwise inaccessible place. At the same time, ensure that the opportunity to commit suicide is lacking. The surest way of doing this is by remaining in close contact with one or more people, for example, by inviting them to stay with you. Share your thoughts and feelings with these people, and don’t be reluctant to let them help you. If no one is available or no one seems suitable, there are a number of emergency telephone lines that you can ring at any time. You can even ring for an ambulance or take yourself to an Emergency Room. Do not use alcohol or drugs as these can make your behavior more impulsive and thereby significantly increase your likelihood of attempting suicide. In particular, do not drink or take drugs alone, or end up alone after drinking or taking drugs.

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/hide-and-seek/201204/fighting-suicidal-thoughts

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Re: Are You Feeling Suicidal? Come Here First! (part 2) by Tgirl4real(f): 4:39pm On Jul 04, 2013
Thanks Mac and Teeo for the input.

There will be another thread to discuss how we can reduce suicidal attempts around us.

This is for people to share their problems and get counsel.

3 Likes

Re: Are You Feeling Suicidal? Come Here First! (part 2) by Stegomiah: 4:48pm On Jul 04, 2013
Suicide is not a solution to whatever you are going thru, it ends the possibility of things getting better, it kills the hope for a brighter future/tomorrow.

Another thing is that God gave us life, and taking it away by yourself is a great sin before God, infact suicide is the greatest sin sm1 can commit. Av read some posts about people feeling suicidal here in the family section, and i think these people needs help, and counselling, am using this medium 2 plead on dia bhalf, please do not insult, push, blame..them, they need words of encouragement, motivation and inspiration and i think that is the aim of this thread in the first place, and 4 those having a suicidal tot/feelings pls come out and share with us so we can help, and avoid being lonely cos research has shown that majority of those that commit suicide at one point or the other do isolate themselves 4rm people, pls be free 2 share with us. †нªηкs!

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Re: Are You Feeling Suicidal? Come Here First! (part 2) by Stegomiah: 4:49pm On Jul 04, 2013
Space booked!
Re: Are You Feeling Suicidal? Come Here First! (part 2) by Tgirl4real(f): 5:27pm On Jul 04, 2013

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Re: Are You Feeling Suicidal? Come Here First! (part 2) by Nobody: 6:21pm On Jul 04, 2013

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Re: Are You Feeling Suicidal? Come Here First! (part 2) by Nobody: 7:05pm On Jul 04, 2013
Thumbs up baby for this!
Who knows who might help save a soul.
One thing pple should know is this,a suicidal person around u will never let u know he want to commit suicide.but look out for these signs
1.Negative always.d person will never c anything good around him.
2.Always complainin and blaming whoever for whatever
3.Snappy but can apologise later
4.Performance extraordinarie.that is,if d person is a church person,he will double or triple his church attendance,pary goer,he will be rocking everyday,a schooler,his face is always buried on his books etc.he does these bc he use them to hide from his shadow.
6.Withdrawn.assuming d person is outgoin.
And lots more.
Also,look out for ur friend or neibor that has lost somebody very dear,jilted,a melancholic(high tendency of suicide),unloved or unreturned love,rejection,and those that hv controlin hands on their neck.
I can go on and on.
They r everywhere around us.a smile can make a lost soul to confide in u and when such happens,pls listen even if u don't hv d answer.
Will still come for examples.
By d way,I did it but was discovered so I write from xperience and d one I witnessed.
Thanks all.

3 Likes

Re: Are You Feeling Suicidal? Come Here First! (part 2) by greatgod2012(f): 8:42pm On Jul 04, 2013
Thanks @op, hopefully, this is going to help.

What is suicide attempt?
Suicide attempt simply means an attempt to kill oneself or to take one's life.
Being suicidal means to have the feeling of taking one's life.
What can make one feel suicidal?
1. Frustration, when one is frustrated, whether at home, in the family, at workplace, in one's marriage, among friends, one may be tempted to commit suicide, if there is no one to support or encourage.

2. Depression, when one is depressed, it means one's spirit is down or not lifted, and if care is not taken, such a person can be suicidal. Feeling depressed is a psychological problem, hence counselling and psychariatric treatment is advisable, before it degenerates to being suicidal.

3. Self pity, the feeling that you are the only one in a particular problem and that everyone has to sympathise with you can lead one to being suicidal, especially, when there is no one to sympathise with you.
4. Disappointment, when one is dissapointed by a very trusted friend, partner, relative or child, one may feel suicidal in order to permanently prevent repeat of such occurence.
5. Feeling unloved, when one feel unloved by those whom he really loves, its a feeling of rejection, it can make one feel suicidal.
6. Rejection/abandonment by one's folks/friends can also be a cause.
7. Admittance/acceptance of failure, many people dont really understand the concept of failure before they admit or accept that they are failure, and once that acceptability is there, it may degenerate to being suicidal.
And many others.

Solutions/preventive measures to eliminating suicide attempt.
1. Never compare yourself to anyone, we are distinct/different as individuals, with different capacity, ability and purpose.
2. Remember that everything happens in its time, ie, God's time is the best, some are to make it in the morning of their lives, while some, at noon and some at dusk time of their lives.
3. Always remember that, no matter what you are passing through, some other people must have also passed through it before you, and some others will still pass through it after you, the world celebrates the winner, not considering what the winner might have passed through before he becomes the winner, so, winners dont quit, if you want to be remembered as a winner, dont kill yourself, because you can never win in the grave.
4. Never put all your trust in a fellow human being, it is only God who never disappoint, anyone, regardless of who they are can disappoint.
When you feel depressed, sad, unhappy or disappointed or at a crossroad of life., talk out, talk to people, seek advise, seek counselling, meet with people, read about great people who have passed through similar situations.
5. Never think that without someone, you cant make it, no human being is indispensable, its only God that is as strong and reliable as a rock, believe in Him and believe in yourself, think positive about yourself, because, as a man thinks, so is he. If you believe you can, you can.
Above all, remember that God can NEVER tempt us beyond what we can bear, and when we are tempted, He will make a way of escape for us(1cor 10:13).
God bless us all.
It is well with all of us.

12 Likes

Re: Are You Feeling Suicidal? Come Here First! (part 2) by Mynd44: 11:23pm On Jul 04, 2013
This is something.......but let's see how it goes
Re: Are You Feeling Suicidal? Come Here First! (part 2) by mawuqueyan(f): 11:36pm On Jul 04, 2013
ℓ̊ love ds thread....
ℓ̊ av NEVA tot of sucide tho but av bn rily depressed...! cry
God help me..!
Re: Are You Feeling Suicidal? Come Here First! (part 2) by Roland17(m): 3:29am On Jul 05, 2013
Although i posted thin on a similar thread on Family section, i feel it would not hurt to post this here and hope it helps someone make a courageous choice.

This is one issue we treat very trivial until the act is done, people who are courageous enough to admit attempts of Suicide are castigated based on some ridiculous religious beliefs, i am very glad whenever awareness about Suicide gets attention because i have personally been privileged to help 2 very mature people out of committing suicide.

CAUSES

The causes of suicide are subjective to every individual contemplating, experience and extensive research has helped me conclude that depression/ unhappiness/ sadness is a constant factor with this issue.

Most people seem happy, but i can tell u, true happiness is one luxury many can't afford, many are going through sooo much in life with no one to trust with their problems they shoulder the burden all to themselves and this leads to stress and depression. i know someone is thinking, Hey we all have problems, but the difference is we are all different, the way we interpret problems as individuals is quite different.

The first person i encountered and i am glad is out of the Suicide list had every thing going for him you would think, he was in his final year of medical school, studying in one of the prestigious medical colleges in the US, a very bright prospect, intelligent but something was not clicking, for the sake of privacy i choose not to divulge the real issue and other vital details, but it proves that, not every one who seems happy is truly happy, so many things happen in our daily lives that alter our consciousness to life.

HOW YOU CAN HELP AS AN INDIVIDUAL

Being TRUSTWORTHY and APPROACHABLE is important, they wish to talk about it, but its very difficult to trust people with your story and when they can not, they resort to Suicide.

SIGNS TO LOOK OUT FOR

The signs are very numerous but mostly discreet, i would mention a few, the suicide would most probably happen on a significant date, either their birthdays or dates that have huge significance to them.

Suicidal people tend to suddenly keep to themselves as the day approaches , they tend to suddenly dissociate themselves from people and spend a whole lot of time on their own, most times contemplating their decision and their lives thus far.
while other might go on without any significant changes, but one thing is, their anxiety level also increases as they tend to become sensitive and would break down easily.

MANAGING STRESS

This is also subjective to every individual because like i mentioned earlier we are all different, contemplating suicide does not necessarily mean mental weakness, we all react to issues differently.
Famous people we revere have contemplated suicide, Halle Berry, Dianna the princess of Wales, Eminem, Michael Jackson, Mike Tyson, the list is very long.

Developing a stress killer routine is very important for every one, personally when i get stressed/ unhappy, i hit the Gym or i go running, play basketball, i spend time speaking with people that make me happy, either over the phone or face to face, i go through my contacts and call my Dad, even though i don't tell him i am stressed out, speaking with him relieves me a whole lot, after that i can tell u i would return to base.

For some eating helps, but the problem is this, eating too much while depressed might worsen the situation in the long run, i know of someone who goes into a cleaning mode, he would clean the whole house even if it is spot clean while listening to music, after couple of mins/hrs he is back to base.

PROFESSIONAL CENTERS

Most suicidal people need someone to confide with anonymously without compromising their privacy and secrets and this is very very hard.

In the USA, i know there is a National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, i understand u are never kept on hold and speak directly with someone who is willing to help.

4 Likes

Re: Are You Feeling Suicidal? Come Here First! (part 2) by bknight: 7:21am On Jul 05, 2013
I nominate this for frontpage.

Many others beyond family section may find it life saving. Mod pls?

1 Like

Re: Are You Feeling Suicidal? Come Here First! (part 2) by Jayboy124: 8:08am On Jul 05, 2013
Nice topic. I always try to talk to people going through sad times or depression. I'm kinda like a shrink, Kevin Spacey style. Haven't quite met anyone who had suicidal tendencies though.

Like people have already mentioned, when someone's depressed, it's just best to find someone to talk to. A friend. An ex. A relation. A church leader. Never go through sad/depressing/hard times without having someone to talk to. If you wanna cry while talking to the person, please cry well. Don't ever think it's best bottling up your problems and going through them alone. (Make sure it's someone you trust enough.)

Another thing I have discovered that helps is taking up another hobby. Learn some new game, scrabble, chess etc. Take up a new sport like tennis, badminton, football. Make a new friend. Travel a little. Just do something fun you haven't done in your life or you haven't done in a long time.

Even I sometimes need someone to talk to.

2 Likes

Re: Are You Feeling Suicidal? Come Here First! (part 2) by Tgirl4real(f): 8:38am On Jul 05, 2013
chaircover: Thanks Tgirl for opening this thread. let me relax small and then I will be back to share my thoughts kiss

You are welcome. I hope it portrays what u have in mind.
Re: Are You Feeling Suicidal? Come Here First! (part 2) by Nobody: 3:53pm On Jul 05, 2013
Not until last year, I was very suicidal. As a matter of fact,I feel God somehow just kept me alive by mistake cos I was real a depressed and pessimistic person. After 2 failed attempts,It didn't matter how I died but I just wanted to die,the only reason i think im still alive prolly cos i wasnt strong enough 2 stab myself..Thank God I'm getting better now but I pray I get over this totally someday soon...

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Re: Are You Feeling Suicidal? Come Here First! (part 2) by Tgirl4real(f): 4:21pm On Jul 05, 2013
sanniemoe: Not until last year, I was very suicidal. As a matter of fact,I feel God somehow just kept me alive by mistake cos I was real a depressed and pessimistic person. After 2 failed attempts,It didn't matter how I died but I just wanted to die,the only reason i think im still alive prolly cos i wasnt strong enough 2 stab myself..Thank God I'm getting better now but I pray I get over this totally someday soon...

Amen bro . . .

Would you like to share?

Just remember that when there is life there is hope. And like the popular Yoruba adage says "there is nothing new under the sun".

It is well!
Re: Are You Feeling Suicidal? Come Here First! (part 2) by Nobody: 8:51pm On Jul 05, 2013
Re: Are You Feeling Suicidal? Come Here First! (part 2) by maclatunji: 9:48pm On Jul 05, 2013
sanniemoe: Not until last year, I was very suicidal. As a matter of fact,I feel God somehow just kept me alive by mistake cos I was real a depressed and pessimistic person. After 2 failed attempts,It didn't matter how I died but I just wanted to die,the only reason i think im still alive prolly cos i wasnt strong enough 2 stab myself..Thank God I'm getting better now but I pray I get over this totally someday soon...

What are/were the issues that got you into this position?
Re: Are You Feeling Suicidal? Come Here First! (part 2) by zelexotunla(m): 10:20pm On Jul 05, 2013
.
Re: Are You Feeling Suicidal? Come Here First! (part 2) by Roland17(m): 2:01am On Jul 06, 2013
zelexotunla: Ooosh!! I would have been a better person had i known this nairaland forum prior this time. This ain't funny but for me here i'm just living to die. My heart is heavy for many years and it's been saddened. Saddened? Dat is understatement. My steppy has even called me a saddist which i concurred but what do i do? Even though never believe in existence of God. I see every religious as old history in which we are just using to hold societies in peace. My issue is as a normal story but i dont know why it turnout on me to this extent sha. Who to trust? Love to pour out everything here but i dont know how it will turn to be. I just finished service and exactly a month today,it is as if the whole world is against me. I think my weakness has always been self pity, self hatred and shyness. I always look into mirror and any form of such 1000 times in a day. Funny enough all attributes/factors you've all mentioned are at work with me. Need help atleast

Firstly, you are not far from being a better person, everyday provides a unique oppourtunity for everyone to improve their daily lives and a chance for a new and better beginning.

Like i mentioned in my previous post every one is unique and reacts to problems and issues differently, i understand you are going through crises in your life right now, but the courage and resilience to fight for another day in the midst of challenges makes you more experienced in life.

Please and please, this is very important, Do not accept any negative comment that portrays you as weird, anti-social, a sadist, if you do and perceive it as normal, it would only accelerate the feeling of loneliness because you have refused to conform to normal norms because of challenges you are currently going through.

The very good thing you have going for you in this situation is that you have discovered your weaknesses and have realized that people would always play that card to get you whenever they want.
Avoid putting huge expectations and pressure on yourself, take each day as it comes.

Trusting is very difficult, but i would advice you speak to someone you revere and respect, some one old preferably whose wisdom and words can help you, seek help, keeping silent would only worsen the situation, we don't realize that when we share problems like you have just done now relieves a lot of burden and makes breathing easier.

Find a Stress killer activity, whatever it is, ensure it makes u very happy and does not worsen the situation long term, because not every thing that makes us happy is necessarily good for us.
Go through your phone contact, call that old friend you have not spoken to in months/years, take walks, engage your self.

Remember you are an image of yourself first, make realistic plans on how to get over the situation you are going through.

AND ABOVE ALL, GIVE GOD A TRIAL, HE HAS NEVER FAILED ME, HE IS NOT HISTORY AND STILL CARES ABOUT YOU.

6 Likes

Re: Are You Feeling Suicidal? Come Here First! (part 2) by maclatunji: 10:11am On Jul 06, 2013
zelexotunla: Ooosh!! I would have been a better person had i known this nairaland forum prior this time. This ain't funny but for me here i'm just living to die. My heart is heavy for many years and it's been saddened. Saddened? Dat is understatement. My steppy has even called me a saddist which i concurred but what do i do? Even though never believe in existence of God. I see every religious as old history in which we are just using to hold societies in peace. My issue is as a normal story but i dont know why it turnout on me to this extent sha. Who to trust? Love to pour out everything here but i dont know how it will turn to be. I just finished service and exactly a month today,it is as if the whole world is against me. I think my weakness has always been self pity, self hatred and shyness. I always look into mirror and any form of such 1000 times in a day. Funny enough all attributes/factors you've all mentioned are at work with me. Need help atleast

You can start by telling us what the problems are and why you feel so miserable about them. Sharing your story can hardly turn out worse than you already feel. Then again, people would know how to help you.

2 Likes

Re: Are You Feeling Suicidal? Come Here First! (part 2) by Nobody: 3:24pm On Jul 06, 2013
......
Re: Are You Feeling Suicidal? Come Here First! (part 2) by maclatunji: 4:12pm On Jul 06, 2013
I think the moderator should remove his name from his initial post and subsequent posts that might quote it.
Re: Are You Feeling Suicidal? Come Here First! (part 2) by Nobody: 5:52pm On Jul 06, 2013
I've been at the lowest of lows but never contemplated suicide, it's sad what life's struggles can drive a person to do, nice topic smiley

1 Like

Re: Are You Feeling Suicidal? Come Here First! (part 2) by Tgirl4real(f): 11:08pm On Jul 06, 2013
maclatunji:

I think the moderator should remove his name from his initial post and subsequent posts that might quote it.

how?
Re: Are You Feeling Suicidal? Come Here First! (part 2) by Mynd44: 11:25pm On Jul 06, 2013
Tgirl4real:

how?
Quote his comment, remove his name as the author and then hide the comment
Re: Are You Feeling Suicidal? Come Here First! (part 2) by maclatunji: 11:57pm On Jul 06, 2013
maclatunji:

how?

Quote and modify his comment by removing him as author much in the same way as I did there ^. Then hide the original or replace it with a happy face.
Re: Are You Feeling Suicidal? Come Here First! (part 2) by Tgirl4real(f): 12:58am On Jul 07, 2013
maclatunji:

Quote and modify his comment by removing him as author much in the same way as I did there ^. Then hide the original or replace it with a happy face.

lol. great.


thanks mynd.

1 Like

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