Tips To Keeping A Good African Man - Family (9) - Nairaland
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| Re: Tips To Keeping A Good African Man by Callfubu(m): 1:00am On Nov 05, 2014 |
som1 actually took his time to write this long story, instead of looking for the perfect woman, why not be the perfect man. |
| Re: Tips To Keeping A Good African Man by Nobody: 1:19am On Nov 05, 2014*. Modified: 9:14am On Nov 05, 2014 |
Shirley07:LMFAO he really thinks other races are checking for him? Let him study the statistics. Interracial marriages with black female partners far exceed ones with a black male! Like, it's not even close. Since the very beginning. What a joker. If he really cares so much about what non-African people think, he should know that they think African women are "exotic" and African men are... look, I don't even want to say it. He and his buddy are both clowns. When you see them, just swerve. When a man's sales pitch to you is: "You don't have a choice," you know he's a ________. |
| Re: Tips To Keeping A Good African Man by Nobody: 1:25am On Nov 05, 2014 |
OP, this list is not enough now. We need more. Please give us tips 1001-2000. Tenk u. |
| Re: Tips To Keeping A Good African Man by Nobody: 2:10am On Nov 05, 2014 |
Men shld just be realistic. No woman wants a proud ass as husband. Most guys mouthing here will definitely fall into hands of the wrong woman. U can't mess up with an African Woman and I mean typical African woman. Some guys here talk as if na only women need kids. Get all the wealth in this world without just one child of yours and see what become of ur ppties. |
| Re: Tips To Keeping A Good African Man by jumbotron: 4:46am On Nov 05, 2014 |
I am utterly confused by what is going on in the minds of young Nigerian men and women. If someone had the time to write this lengthy list and expect everyone to agree, fully insult people with different opinions, we should have more young people at the fore fighting for a better Nigeria with the same passion. I am a mother & wife and what many young men on this forum would call a feminist due to my beliefs, unfortunately a lot of us do not even know the difference between a feminist and an obnoxious woman. Apparently, to the nairaland man once you have a differing opinion, you are a feminist that will die a lonely spinster with 30 cats. I have a very happy family and a Sig. Other who respects who I am and I in turn worship the ground he walks on because he does not try to stifle my voice and he knows his place as the head of our home, he does not need me to do a special dance, walk on egg shells etc to proof it to him. I feel very sad because we, the mothers have raised entitled men who do not know that their place is at the top and when the family structure is broken or breaking, it is due in part to the heads being slack in their duties. I am not a fan of the uptick trend in divorces and single motherhood but SirShymex, these women that you look down on are not divorcing themselves or reproducing by themselves. There are some (a small number by the way) who enjoy the fantasy of having babies but as a man, as a potential head of a household, you should be mindful of the women you lay with. Yes, the woman bears the brunt of an unwanted pregnancy and she should also be careful but I am addressing my young men because y'all are screaming we are the heads, we are superior and you are acting otherwise. Our "Heads" are failing woefully and I do not know if it is pride, ego what you might call it but nothing is being done to correct this problem. You pass out these lists to women and what are the men doing to prepare to be better husbands and fathers...nothing. What are you doing to prepare yourselves to pick compatible spouses? Instead, you are steady picking women that are not ready to fill the roles you so badly want them to fill. Please do not get me wrong, there are some misled, downright horrible women out there but the rate at which some of you complain on here, one would think all Nigerian women are neck twisting, man bashing, control freaks. Gentlemen, if you are running into "unfit" women time and time again, check yourself. If I was not married and I did not know other married couples, I would be scared of what this upcoming generation of husbands will look like. Rants and rants, threads shouting down anyone that dares speak up for herself(are some of the ladies going about it the wrong way...yea) but please talk to happily married men, let them tell you what they are doing right. Don't be a man that is quick to call a woman out by all kinds of names...wow. A good woman still embarrasses the tenets of marriage but you will get kickback if you continue to hold an oppressive mentality (afterall, you can only hold a person down for so long). When people complain about Naija, they do not blame anyone but the "Head", the blame does not go first to the 2nd in command. Young Men, you need to take your place as the heads and stop being so whiny (no offense). The breakdown in the family structure is not solely the woman's fault. As for the list, I thank goodness most men are not walking around wielding To Do's in the faces of women. Look, find a woman that is compatible to your vision and goals in life. If both of you are on the same page, you will grow together in love and raise a family of champions. All these lists smack of a whole lot of something bad. I am truly worried for some of my young brothers on this forum. Forgive the length, I tend to be wordy. |
| Re: Tips To Keeping A Good African Man by Misogynist2014(m): 6:51am On Nov 05, 2014 |
Sophyrocks:You sabi cry well well!! If I were your husband, I would have forgotten my cain in ur p*u*ssy a million times. Who told you that women have a say? So you self know say women are too emotional. Women are like babies, they need to be seldomly cained in order to reason like a man. If it were in my power, I will give men the ability to give birth then I will command the entire inFErior males to be fed to the lions. It is better being an im..becile to being the only animal that bleeds for the most valuabe part of its life.NEANDERTHAL!!! |
| Re: Tips To Keeping A Good African Man by Misogynist2014(m): 7:12am On Nov 05, 2014 |
jumbotron:Story for the gods! Guys out there, if your wife is rude to you, cain her until she submits, Allah doesn't forbid it. Marry as many woMEN as you can afford, never give your power to these girls. Women actually think they have a say. Woe betide a woman that does not submit, divorce her and send her back to her father's house. Nincompoops!!!. |
| Re: Tips To Keeping A Good African Man by zicca(f): 7:41am On Nov 05, 2014 |
Huh,see story,is that all,cos I was thinking it was an endless list of ways African women can die Prematurely. bro,u try,I will support d woman u will marry with prayer |
| Re: Tips To Keeping A Good African Man by Nobody: 7:54am On Nov 05, 2014 |
Misogynist2014:u must have learnt this ur caining habits from someone; ur forefathers. No sane and matured man will cain his wife. If a man cains ur daughter, will u praise him for that. You say sen woman back to her father. Who will ur daughterls husband send her back to? No be u?. Men u shld have strive to have honour too nt just ego. |
| Re: Tips To Keeping A Good African Man by Nobody: 8:16am On Nov 05, 2014*. Modified: 4:39pm On Nov 05, 2014 |
holahmihdeh:You should know he'll train his daughter up proper. Only mumu women get returned to sender. ![]() |
| Re: Tips To Keeping A Good African Man by Nobody: 8:22am On Nov 05, 2014 |
jumbotron:Ma'am, in as much as I think the women are largely to blame for single mum households in the UK (men are also complicit in it but to a lesser extent) because the law favours them, and they always use it to their own advantage. I think most of the clowning we do on here are about scandalous biitches, and not good women. And like I've always said, there are two types of women: scandalous biitches and good women. Also, whenever you see 50calibre and I doing our normal banter. It's just basically guys' chat, with no holds barred and no filter. The same way guys do whenever they're together talking about different topics: from sports, to career, to life, to movies, to women etc.. Hence we always drift from one subject-matter to the other. Thus derailing the threads most times in the process. We're just brash with no manners, and that comes with the territory, especially when you're assertive. It also comes with being real and not trying to protect a fictitious image, on a faceless forum. We just say it as it's, and damn the consequences. And if folks want to catch feelings on that, that's their prerogative. However, whatever we say isn't about all women. We know there are tons of great women out there. Even as fvcked up as this forum is with all kinds of weirdos and obnoxious duffers, who always want to push their insecurities and self-esteem on you for saying it as it's. I'd say I can sift through all the airheads, and impulsive weirdos - and cite four female posters on here that are decent based on our conversations. Also, I know loads of decent chics offline. And I'll never disrespect and malign folks like that. They're queens. Regardless, don't fret, we're high fliers with good heads on our shoulders. And a lot of black men who don't always go out of their way to appease scandalous women like white knights - the non-conformists to stupid trends - are achieving greatness. We're old school and we see the world through our pops' eyes, coupled with our uniqueness of our experiences. So, you should know we've got the skill-set to exert authority as the head of the family. Hence we're always keen to maintain a certain standard of what a virtuous woman should be, while putting the scandalous ones in check. And when we're in a mental space to select the right partners, we'll always go for women who would complement, and inspire us - with the same outlook to life. Anyway, thanks for the post and may God bless ya marriage. However, I wouldn't call you a feminist because you're family oriented, and you asserted that you also worship the floor your husband walks on. Also, you believe he's the ordained/natural head of the family. I think you're a womanist, and I like that. Shalom black queen! ![]() |
| Re: Tips To Keeping A Good African Man by Williamso(m): 8:34am On Nov 05, 2014 |
This is the most misogynistic thread I have ever seen on Nairaland And to think I read one or two racist comments from a fellow black man is most shocking!!! |
| Re: Tips To Keeping A Good African Man by humilitypays(m): 9:00am On Nov 05, 2014 |
Vivipop:I love your comment, tell them |
| Re: Tips To Keeping A Good African Man by Nobody: 9:02am On Nov 05, 2014 |
freshdude2:And tell me any gud training a wife beater will give to his daughter(s). Funny!! |
| Re: Tips To Keeping A Good African Man by poik(m): 9:10am On Nov 05, 2014 |
Sophyrocks:There is nothing unrealistic about that list, my sister. The list may be long, but the watchword there is sincerity, openness,submissiveness, respect, and regard for her man. Long life and happy marriage is not a Stone Age phenomenon;it is everlasting and timeless, and these are the ingredients. The problem is that we have been to ingrained and imbroiled in too much Westernisation. That's the truth. And what's more, these are the simple tips to a successful marriage. The op is helping ladies out. |
| Re: Tips To Keeping A Good African Man by Nobody: 9:37am On Nov 05, 2014 |
freshdude2:Most of the men i know about 70 percent put thier families first and dont go acting like babies who need 24 hours watching. Being a man in Africa especially Nigeria is not easy abeg. Traffic, work, and family i also hail those who keep it all together and their sanity. No light, no water, poor security etc. Yet they work hard to keep it all together. These men are different from those published on that list who are made to look like spoilt helpless babies, we are adults, we make choices and live with the consequences. Having a home is a choice, men have responsibility and women have responsibility, men should love their wives unconditionally and protect them just as Christ did for us. Women should submit to that love and not take it for granted. Being a head is not just about benefits but about responsibility, if it goes well the head takes the glory if it goes bad head takes the blame but what we do these days ia just highlight benefits of headship then lay the responsibility of making a marriage work on the womans feet. I have seen so many changes in recent years, African men moving from what has been the norm, before it was a taboo for a man to be seen near the kitchen these days its even a thing of pride as they show off on social media. I have so many male friends who now write wills as soon as they marry or have kids, i see men shopping for thier families and carrying kids which if it was years ago the men would be asked to go for deliverance from his wifes juju. I gre up with a great father who supported my mom by raising us while she was at the peak of her career, i have seen my in laws sacrfice so much for their wives and kids even when their wives may be far from perfect and i have a husband who has literally laid his life down for me. Just After we met i feel ill, it wasnt moi moi sickness, one would expect a man just getting to know a woman to run after all we were not even that serious then but the level and extent he went to keep me healthy and alive still shocks me. Hence i have a problem with a list that presents men to young impressionable young men and women as almost senseless babies to be waited on hands on foot before they can give you any love or respect. |
| Re: Tips To Keeping A Good African Man by 50calibre(m): 9:58am On Nov 05, 2014 |
SirShymex:Tell them!! Africans are the only ones who see their culture as more of a burden so they strive to dissociate themselves from it in a bid to appear more civilised. That's not civilisation, it's inferiority complex, the number of Nigerians adopting fake accents these days, attests to this fact. It's really pathetic, Africa is entering a new age of enslavement, self-enslavement if you will. Looks at its entertainment industry, you'd see a continent fast losing its originality. Damn! I slept of real early yesterday, after a long summer, my body is trying to adapt to the cold. |
| Re: Tips To Keeping A Good African Man by Nobody: 10:03am On Nov 05, 2014*. Modified: 10:44am On Nov 05, 2014 |
aisha2:Spot on. It would have made perfect sense if this your comment was the post itself. Please teach them sense!!! The Op himself has a lot of work to do on his dying self esteem. He has serious issues. thats for sure. |
| Re: Tips To Keeping A Good African Man by Nobody: 10:05am On Nov 05, 2014 |
poik:Helping who out? he is fantasizing. Goodluck in his searrch for perfection. he has a lot of work to do on himself. he has issues. women have dealt with him. He strikes me as an emotionally and physically abusive person ![]() |
| Re: Tips To Keeping A Good African Man by Nobody: 10:08am On Nov 05, 2014 |
Williamso:Wonderful thouht you have. you see why most of the ladies here are against the Op. Its wonderful thhat a male like you can see what we are seeing. You must have been properly trained by your parents. ![]() |
| Re: Tips To Keeping A Good African Man by Nobody: 10:11am On Nov 05, 2014 |
Callfubu:Thank you. he is looking a perfect wife that will do all of the above when he cannot even do 3! Fantasy no ni!! |
| Re: Tips To Keeping A Good African Man by Nobody: 10:13am On Nov 05, 2014 |
Nmeri17:Haahahahahahahaha. |
| Re: Tips To Keeping A Good African Man by Nobody: 10:16am On Nov 05, 2014 |
ebdib:Spot on!! And this is coming from a male? Halleluuuuuuuuuyah!!!! |
| Re: Tips To Keeping A Good African Man by Nobody: 10:37am On Nov 05, 2014 |
jumbotron:GBAM. Your observations of Nairaland are absolutely correct. I have said it that the nagging by the so called men in this site is tooooooo much that i am begining to doubt their manhood sef. Whining and whining 24/7. it beats me. seriously i have told the Op to work on himself. he has a lot of unresolved issues and he would transfer his garbage to his marriage if care isnt taken. just look at his list one more time. RIDICULOUS!!! Instead of the babies here crying to go and look for real men to learn one or two things they are doing right, they are here whiniing, trying all they can to force their insecuritiees down our throats just as the Op was trying to do!! God will continue bless you and your family. You husband must be a wonderful man, a true african man not all these babies claiming to be men. |
| Re: Tips To Keeping A Good African Man by Nobody: 11:07am On Nov 05, 2014 |
that list makes me sick. sounds like a holy list for stone age woman, who haven't seen further her village. to be honest if man needs everything in that list- he is p*ssy! and i would really consider to take him into marriage or not. after all everything depends on woman- she will marry u or not, she will give u children or not. so males shouldn't overestimate themselves! what i can give-i can easily take back! P.S. will never ever respect woman who is dependent on her husband. there must be partnership and equal rights. woman who relies solely on man is not person at all. after he dies she's learning how to live again like 5 year old |
| Re: Tips To Keeping A Good African Man by Nobody: 11:09am On Nov 05, 2014 |
SirShymex:beautiful british women?? where have u seen them? for me, as european, uk and ie women are most unattractive females in europe |
| Re: Tips To Keeping A Good African Man by Onegai(f): 11:09am On Nov 05, 2014 |
3cycle:carries anointing oil and pours on 3cycle's head, murmurs prayers and blessings on 3cycle for this comment. May you have a perfect for this comment. "mere dust" ![]() |
| Re: Tips To Keeping A Good African Man by Williamso(m): 11:23am On Nov 05, 2014 |
Sophyrocks:I am not on your side!!! Inasmuch as I detest feminism (granted, a lot of nairalanders being labelled as feminists by the male folk are NOT feminists, but merely advocate better treatment from the society, which I actually support), I WILL NEVER SUPPORT MISOGYNY AND MALE CHAUVINISM!!! |
| Re: Tips To Keeping A Good African Man by Nobody: 11:27am On Nov 05, 2014 |
Williamso:You not supporting misogyny and male chauvinism has made you on my side already. ![]() Nice comment though. |
| Re: Tips To Keeping A Good African Man by babygirlfl: 11:28am On Nov 05, 2014 |
jumbotron:God bless you. I read your post and I realised that you just wrote everything in my mind. Thank you. Badly behaved men want well behaved women. An insultive man wants a lady without a voice because when you have a voice, you are a feminist. A head usually gets the blame when things go wrong but some men now want to be the head while the woman gets the blame when things go wrong. These men want a happy home but don't want to work for it instead as usuall, only the woman should work for it. Married men in happy homes know that they work hard on their marriage too. Honestly our generation is actually beginning to see the effect of men brought up in dysfunctional families. |
| Re: Tips To Keeping A Good African Man by Onegai(f): 11:33am On Nov 05, 2014*. Modified: 12:31pm On Nov 05, 2014 |
jumbotron:May I get to know you in real life? Please I may be settling down soon and gosh I need people like you in my life. Nigerian marriages sound terrifying, nightmarishly bad and horrible, especially when you read NL and the men commenting on it. You, on the other hand, are mature and calm and have respect and are respected by your spouse. So I need to come and learn from good example. |
| Re: Tips To Keeping A Good African Man by Nobody: 11:42am On Nov 05, 2014 |
babygirlfl:Exactly my thoughts. |
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Woe betide a woman that does not submit, divorce her and send her back to her father's house. Nincompoops!!!
