₦airaland Forum

Let me share what my friend is passing through right now.

He is a civil servant who earn N47k monthly as a graduate with one of the government parastatal.

He is willing to get married to his girlfriend but when he approach the family of the girl, they gave him a bill for the traditional wedding worth N800k. He is thinking of going for a loan just to marry the lady he desire.

The issue now is, he can't afford that amount which makes him not ready for marriage.
Do you think he should go for the loan or wait till God touches the heart of the government to increase the wages before he get married or till he is able to save to such worth of money?

I also notice its a paramount problem must of us men are passing through silently "Willing to marry but not ready".

What advice do we have for each other as men and for this my friend.

Cheers.

I wouldn't know the tradition where parents give bills to prospective inlaws though.

In Igbo tradition, the relatives of the man would inquire about the rights demanded by such town for marrying their daughter. And it isn't just a family-to-family affair.
Some men from the family would be present as well to witness the proceedings. After that, the groom's family estimates what it will cost.

₦800,000 for what? Even if she is a Ph.D holder, that fee, excluding preparations is exhorbitant.

Let him look for another option.

DesChyko:
I wouldn't know the tradition where parents give bills to prospective inlaws though.

In Igbo tradition, the relatives of the man would inquire about the rights demanded by such town for marrying their daughter.
₦800,000 for what? Even if she is a Ph.D holder, that fee, excluding preparations is exhorbitant.

Let him look for another option.

The lady in question is from Benue state and 800k according to them was even small whc cn only be managed.

Now I see why lots of men are stranded and not ready to marry cos the list of wht the girls need in him and his pucket re' too much beyond found. I wish the girls themself understand.

whao:
The lady in question is from Benue state and 800k according to them was even small whc cn only be managed.
Now I see why lots of men are stranded and not ready to marry cos the list of wht the girls need in him and his pucket re' too much beyond found. I wish the girls themself understand.

Trust me sometimes we do but the urge to please our friends and family makes us turn a blind eye to it. What does she do , is there anyway she could at least join you to finance the wedding?

Is there anyway you can do other things aside your job just to make money to cover up the expenses , I won't advice borrowing , that's a no no .

Come to think of it , since the family wants a big wedding are they not planning to join to finance it at all ? I do remember whenever a lady want to get marry in my family they always call meetings and donate to support the bride depending on the kind of wedding they want.

Elantracey:
Trust me sometimes we do but the urge to please our friends and family makes us turn a blind eye to it. What does she do , is there anyway she could at least join you to finance the wedding?

Is there anyway you can do other things aside your job just to make money to cover up the expenses , I won't advice borrowing , that's a no no .

Come to think of it , since the family wants a big wedding are they not planning to join to finance it at all ? I do remember whenever a lady want to get marry in my family they always call meetings and donate to support the bride depending on the kind of wedding they want.

Its my friend who is passing thru the scenario and not me but I was once in such situation and had to give up too; when am loaded to the brim I will go out there and fetch her.

Most times the girls wanna feel along and make their friends see her guy with high esteem not knowing what he is passing thru just to make the wedding push thru.

I told my friend to go and make some more cash and leave her still PENDING and get back as a bigger boy and marry a village hardworking girl.

It pissed me off after one search and find her but can't afford the bill; its so painful.

whao:
The lady in question is from Benue state and 800k according to them was even small whc cn only be managed.

Now I see why lots of men are stranded and not ready to marry cos the list of wht the girls need in him and his pucket re' too much beyond found. I wish the girls themself understand.

she's from benue state? Can't believe this bro. May i know the part she hailed from? Idoma or tiv? Strange i must say.

beinstein:
she's from benue state? Can't believe this bro. May i know the part she hailed from? Idoma or tiv? Strange i must say.

David Mark's sister, same tribe same village I guest.

# arranges bed and lies down#

He should borrow the N800,000 and buy some plots of land.

whao:
David Mark's sister, same tribe same village I guest.

i guess you friend isn't telling you the truth here. No one would demand for such exorbitant amount. My younger sister got married last month and the ðuðe was charged 200k.

N800k for what nah? Bride price only or does it cover all wedding expenses?
And borrowing shouldn't be an option.

whao:
The lady in question is from Benue state and 800k according to them was even small whc cn only be managed.

Now I see why lots of men are stranded and not ready to marry cos the list of wht the girls need in him and his pucket re' too much beyond found. I wish the girls themself understand.

800k ke?il go and buy the 99percent realistic intimacy gadget for 5000dolls and marry it.

I was thinking it's only imo girls from Mbaise that are expensive like that...


Choiiii
Choooiii

800k


That's slave trade!!!

whao:
Let me share what my friend is passing through right now.

He is a civil servant who earn N47k monthly as a graduate with one of the government parastatal.

He is willing to get married to his girlfriend but when he approach the family of the girl, they gave him a bill for the traditional wedding worth N800k. He is thinking of going for a loan just to marry the lady he desire.

The issue now is, he can't afford that amount which makes him not ready for marriage.
Do you think he should go for the loan or wait till God touches the heart of the government to increase the wages before he get married or till he is able to save to such worth of money?

I also notice its a paramount problem must of us men are passing through silently "Willing to marry but not ready".

What advice do we have for each other as men and for this my friend.

Cheers.

Never enter debt in the name of marriage..... Do you want your first task in the marriage to be to pay off the debt?

Aprime:
[color=#000033]*Sighs*

Marriage slowly creeping into daylight robbery.[/color]

true talk brd

God forbid that I will encourage a man like me to collect loan just to get married .....

collect loan to do biznez not to add to your sorrow

whao:
Let me share what my friend is passing through right now.

He is a civil servant who earn N47k monthly as a graduate with one of the government parastatal.

He is willing to get married to his girlfriend but when he approach the family of the girl, they gave him a bill for the traditional wedding worth N800k. He is thinking of going for a loan just to marry the lady he desire.

The issue now is, he can't afford that amount which makes him not ready for marriage.
Do you think he should go for the loan or wait till God touches the heart of the government to increase the wages before he get married or till he is able to save to such worth of money?

I also notice its a paramount problem must of us men are passing through silently "Willing to marry but not ready".

What advice do we have for each other as men and for this my friend.

Cheers.

He shouldn't take that loan just to marry...no point starting a family in debt. with N47k/mnth, how would he be able to repay it?
If she can wait for him to get a better job, she should.
Something similar happened to me. I had a gf when I was a med student. We really loved each other but she was in a hurry to get married. She got married to someone else cause she couldn't wait.

sexylogan:
He shouldn't take that loan just to marry...no point starting a family in debt. with N47k/mnth, how would he be able to repay it?
If she can wait for him to get a better job, she should.
Something similar happened to me. I had a gf when I was a med student. We really loved each other but she was in a hurry to get married. She got married to someone else cause she couldn't wait.

I feel your pain, I guest your waiting till you graduated was formatted and well calculated and now you re reaping the dividend of patience and hardwork. Now she might be wishing she waited a little longer.

I will advice him to stop the loan till he get a woman who can support him and accept his little offer in salary.

Aprime:
[color=#000033]*Sighs*

Marriage slowly creeping into daylight robbery.[/color]

So true, I remembered when my younger sister got married her bride price was not unto N20 cos we don't do traditional marriage but we sent her forth maybe a week or day to the wedding and the family takes responsibility and contributes more to the wedding.

Don't forget she is a medic working as a doctor with Nig Navy before she even got married. If you wanna marry the prettiest and cheap responsible learned then come to my state.... Plateau