₦airaland Forum

Its crazy how some pastors want to control the life of their members; I've had my reservations about their excesses, but right now, I'm very close to getting pissed.

My girlfriend returned to church today and engaged me in a long chat. She informed me that after church service today, her pastor had asked her to wait behind after service. This is not unusual as the pastor is a cordial fellow and likes to get to know his members, which is quite good if you'd ask me. This is like the third time he's asking her to wait after service for a brief discussion, other days he asks after her studies and to find out if she's still an active member of school fellowship and try to encourage her generally.

So according to her, he asked her to wait and she waited in front of his office. She had to be patient until he attended to all other members coming to greet him.

When he got to her, it was the usual inquiries and encouragement. According to her, after the pleasantries, he told her there was a very good 'son' of his he would like her to meet. By 'son' the pastor was referring to one of his members either in the church or someone he pastored somewhere else. He started by vouching for this his 'son', how he is devoted, God fearing and hardworking. He told her he would like her to meet this his son and give him a listening ear. According to my girl, the pastor even teased her that he, the pastor will like to be the one that will join them in holy matrimony because the so called 'son' was too dear to him.

He went on to make it even look like he was about to do her a favor. He stressed that he doesn't want his 'son' to be 'snatched' away by ladies of questionable character as it was not wise to be equally yoked with unbelievers.

Now, during the chat, I asked her what was her response to the pastor. This is exactly where I'm finding it hard to understand. She seem to be 'fearing' or 'over-respecting' her pastor and couldn't tell him she's already in a relationship. I asked her why she didn't tell her pastor so and she said she doesn't know how it will sound in the pastor's ears. Can you imagine?!?!

Now she seem confused as to how to disappoint the pastor and his 'son' as the pastor went on to schedule a meeting with them next week sunday as the supposed son will be coming down from one of the church branches for the meeting.

She put the question to me during the chat and asked me 'what will she do'. I take it that she's already made the mistake of not telling the pastor outrightly. I insisted she should have told him.

What do you think she should have done or not done; and what do you think is the way forward? I need reasonable comments so I will just have to post this page link on her bbm.

k

She can meet the 'pastor's son'. It isn't mandatory for her to give a YES response to his proposal.

I think say you be Pastor too, Mazi.

Tolexander:
She can meet the 'pastor's son'. It isn't mandatory for her to give a YES response to his proposal.

Agreeing to the meeting shows some sign of consent since she already knows the reason for the meeting.

That's my point; maybe I'm being biased because I'm involved.

jmoore:
I think say you be Pastor too, Mazi.

I said I am born again, spirit filled, tongue talking, demon chasing

MaziOmenuko:
I said I am born again, spirit filled, tongue talking, demon chasing

Pastor aruruana. You only speak in tongues when you are.. [clears throat]

Back to topic. No woman is yours until you are married to her. Have you defined your relationship with ur gf? Any marriage plans with her?

People, especially ladies always succumb to tricks like this. She fears that she might be disobeying the Holy spirit through the pastor if she doesn't do as told. Crap!! Ladies will never learn. The said "son" and the pastor are "paddy paddy", unless of course the pastor has seen it that you (Mazi) will make a terrible husband and tries to rescue her . Aside that, this is pure brainwashing.

Your girlfriend believes her pastor's choice might be the best but her love for you is just holding her for a short time, unless you slap her out of hypnosis.

It is not too late to inform the pastor she is already engaged, that is if you are even serious with her.

MaziOmenuko:
Agreeing to the meeting shows some sign of consent since she already knows the reason for the meeting.

That's my point; maybe I'm being biased because I'm involved.

sure, cos you are involved, hence the reason anyway.

Does meeting the man automatically translate to agreeing to the man's proposal? Seems you've gat the insecured mind she's gonna say yes since she was not able to deliver some points to the pastor?

I understand she had not the liver to inform the pastor on the bond already existing with someone else. Giving a NO response to the man will open a floor for her to make the statement, ''I'm engaged'' if asked the reason for turning down the proposal.

jmoore:
[s]Pastor aruruana. You only speak in tongues when you are.. [clears throat][/s]

Behave!

jmoore:
Back to topic. No woman is yours until you are married to her. Have you defined your relationship with ur gf? Any marriage plans with her?

She knows we're into a serious relationship; we've not sat down and made concrete arrangements for wedding per say, but we've mentioned it en passing. Its not like she's desperate for marriage and has always mentioned some achievements she'll like to make before settling down finally.

xynerise:
unless of course the pastor has seen it that you (Mazi) will make a terrible husband and tries to rescue her .

Is it even possible to determine who will make a good and/or terrible husband? I've seen previous play-boys turnout to be the best home-makers and also some over-spiritual brothers turn out to be wife-beaters.

xynerise:
It is not too late to inform the pastor she is already engaged, that is if you are even serious with her.

So someone can't have a healthy relatnship again? Mind you, we've dated for a good number of years now.

follow her to church and u can sit together...
If them too waste time 4 meeting let ur babe let dm knw say U dy wait for her..

xynerise:
People, especially ladies always succumb to tricks like this. She fears that she might be disobeying the Holy spirit through the pastor if she doesn't do as told. Crap!! Ladies will never learn. The said "son" and the pastor are "paddy paddy", unless of course the pastor has seen it that you (Mazi) will make a terrible husband and tries to rescue her . Aside that, this is pure brainwashing.

Your girlfriend believes her pastor's choice might be the best but her love for you is just holding her for a short time, unless you slap her out of hypnosis.

It is not too late to inform the pastor she is already engaged, that is if you are even serious with her.

True..

MaziOmenuko:
Behave!



She knows we're into a serious relationship; we've not sat down and made concrete arrangements for wedding per say, but we've mentioned it en passing. Its not like she's desperate for marriage and has always mentioned some achievements she'll like to make before settling down finally.

Mazi, some folks broke up after introduction to their parents. Some women are unpredictable.

Ask her "What do you want?"

Tolexander:
Does meeting the man automatically translate to agreeing to the man's proposal? Seems you've gat the insecured mind she's gonna say yes since she was not able to deliver some points to the pastor?

My concern arises from the fact that she wasn't able to rescind meeting this 'son'; I don't think this translates to insecurity. Does it?

No matter how influential or how respectful the lady is to the pastor...

She would have said an outright NO.. Am in a relationship reply . except there is a chance she is giving the new idea some thought and opened to it..

Nothing wrong in what the pastor has done so far to me..

But the lady not giving an outright NO answer looks somehow..

The bf better be ready for a surprise

jmoore:
Mazi, some folks broke up after introduction to their parents. Some women are unpredictable.

Ask her "What do you want?"

Now that's the irony. I get this feeling she's thinking along the same line with Tolexander; like I'm getting insecure.

She feels I'm already making a mountain out of a mole-hill.

Warlord3000:
But the lady not giving an outright NO answer looks somehow..

Thank you sir for that!

This is the crux of the matter!

MaziOmenuko:
Its crazy how some pastors want to control the life of their members; I've had my reservations about their excesses, but right now, I'm very close to getting pissed.

My girlfriend returned to church today and engaged me in a long chat. She informed me that after church service today, her pastor had asked her to wait behind after service. This is not unusual as the pastor is a cordial fellow and likes to get to know his members, which is quite good if you'd ask me. This is like the third time he's asking her to wait after service for a brief discussion, other days he asks after her studies and to find out if she's still an active member of school fellowship and try to encourage her generally.

So according to her, he asked her to wait and she waited in front of his office. She had to be patient until he attended to all other members coming to greet him.

When he got to her, it was the usual inquiries and encouragement. According to her, after the pleasantries, he told her there was a very good 'son' of his he would like her to meet. By 'son' the pastor was referring to one of his members either in the church or someone he pastored somewhere else. He started by vouching for this his 'son', how he is devoted, God fearing and hardworking. He told her he would like her to meet this his son and give him a listening ear. According to my girl, the pastor even teased her that he, the pastor will like to be the one that will join them in holy matrimony because the so called 'son' was too dear to him.

He went on to make it even look like he was about to do her a favor. He stressed that he doesn't want his 'son' to be 'snatched' away by ladies of questionable character as it was not wise to be equally yoked with unbelievers.

Now, during the chat, I asked her what was her response to the pastor. This is exactly where I'm finding it hard to understand. She seem to be 'fearing' or 'over-respecting' her pastor and couldn't tell him she's already in a relationship. I asked her why she didn't tell her pastor so and she said she doesn't know how it will sound in the pastor's ears. Can you imagine?!?!

Now she seem confused as to how to disappoint the pastor and his 'son' as the pastor went on to schedule a meeting with them next week sunday as the supposed son will be coming down from one of the church branches for the meeting.

She put the question to me during the chat and asked me 'what will she do'. I take it that she's already made the mistake of not telling the pastor outrightly. I insisted she should have told him.

What do you think she should have done or not done; and what do you think is the way forward? I need reasonable comments so I will just have to post this page link on her bbm.

I don't think there's anything too serious here , I think you should stop getting emotional and leave it all to your fiancee(I don't use the word gf or bf) 's commjttment to the relationship , if she is , its easy to escape the trap but its all based on who she is , if she is convinced beyond doubt I don't think her respect for her pastor will break you up....
Meeting him is nothing , they can meet for business but she needs to let him know without smiling and without deciet that there is NO vacancy ...
QED

No harm has been done yet. She can meet the pastor and 'his son' and tell them she's in a serious relationship. After all, its not like she has promised the pastor anything yet.

williams20:
Meeting him is nothing , they can meet for business but she needs to let him know without smiling and without deciet that there is NO vacancy ...
QED

MzPreshie:
No harm has been done yet. She can meet the pastor and 'his son' and tell them she's in a serious relationship. After all, its not like she has promised the pastor anything yet.

This seem to be the popular opinion. Good if you'd ask me; but why honor a meeting you already know its agenda and that you're going to give an unfavorable response? Would have been better if she told her pastor she's not interested and safe the 'son' from traveling down from wherever he's coming down from.

jmoore:
Ask her "What do you want?"

The truth is dat most women don't know wat dey really want.

Mazi, talk to her and let her know you love her and want 2 spend d rest of your life with her.
.........and yes keep making dat mountian out of mole hill, wen she looks back she will know u did it because u love her. Afterall, jealousy is d best form of love.

Mazi don enter 1 chance. Lol

MaziOmenuko:
My concern arises from the fact that she wasn't able to rescind meeting this 'son'; I don't think this translates to insecurity. Does it?

you be man now.

Remember your gf is a lady with the average feminine mind and the Pastor, a man with aboundance of masculine pranks and antics. You understand how we manipulate dem giving them the chance not to rescind our request. Just reminding you to lighten your concern.

What happened to your gurl is peculiar to most ladies, they wouldn't say no cause of
1. Their relationship with the man(Pastor)
2. The age of the pastor
3. The atmosphere they were.

Very likely the Pastor has been so dear to her from childhood, guiding her.

MaziOmenuko:
So someone can't have a healthy relatnship again? Mind you, we've dated for a good number of years now.

The number of years you date a person doesn't guarantee you will marry him/her.

MaziOmenuko

insecurity in the sense that you can't decide her response since you aren't married.

Meeting the 'son' is a green light to the 'son' oh. No talk say I no tell you bye

MaziOmenuko:
This seem to be the popular opinion. Good if you'd ask me; but why honor a meeting you already know its agenda and that you're going to give an unfavorable response? Would have been better if she told her pastor she's not interested and safe the 'son' from traveling down from wherever he's coming down from.

Yeah, you're right. But since she has made the mistake of not telling the pastor outrightly that she's in a relationship, would it be better to stand him up now?

.

tell your gf to tell her pastor to tell his son that she has been doing premature adultery with one mazi omenuku and is now defiled and therefore cant marry the man of Gods son

I would advise her to see the son, Who knows she might like him better than you......Since you ain't even sure of what to do with her.....you have been dating her for years now and she still couldn't tell the pastor she is in a relationship..... it's simple really she isn't sure you guys would end up together, I wouldn't blame her Though, with all this your sexuality stories Who wouldn't be scared? she should see the son jawe..... Maybe that is her future husband

vhickky:
I would advise her to see the son, Who knows she might like him better than you......Since you ain't even sure of what to do with her.....

Now this is harsh!

vhickky:
I wouldn't blame her Though, with all this your sexuality stories Who wouldn't be scared?

Scared of my stories or scared of me? Leave my stories out of this abeg.

vhickky:
. Maybe that is her future husband

I bind every negative spirit and false tongue in you right now!!!

Out!!!!!!!!!!!!

LaurelP:
So the only thing you should do is to relax and wait for the outcome of the meeting on sunday.
Cheers

Relax and wait for the outcome? Like seriously fold my arms and wait?

Be serious nau!