₦airaland Forum

starlingleanets:
I give up on ur mentality bro.

glad u did

Crazy post.... Posts that will make some dumb girls go and cheaply lose their virginity.
Any girl listen. I love Virgin. Na Virgin me wan marry

koyyess:
Op, I disagree with you on no 1. If you found your husband hand in hand with another lady, will you conclude that there is nothing sexual going on between them? Even grown up brothers and sisters don't do that. The people who taught that knew why they said so please.

ur logic has no base here. Why wud a man who is married be holding another woman like that What d op said was a young couple holding hands not a married man cheating

KingAdeOluomo1:
u Virgin haaaaaaa
u can lie??

what i care

franugo:
ur logic has no base here. Why wud a man who is married be holding another woman like that What d op said was a young couple holding hands not a married man cheating

You are the one that has failed to see the logic. Young couple kor. If you like, allow your teenage kids to keep holding hands with the opposite sex whom they barely know. I only used a married man as an example and you unknowingly butressed my point further.

The write-up is cowshit! Plain hogwash I say. The Bible frowns at pre-mariital sex; its the Lord's commandment not the church leaders'. Woman, Stop misleading others.

texanomaly:
Ummmm...it's not my title or my write-up.

Yeah I know I quoted the writer also

Op I sense deception in your write-up. Is like you are regretting being a virgin till the day of your wedding. If you are asked to stop holding hands it is correct because one thing leads to another, and not everybody can withstand some ugly urges that come through holding hands and robbing it. You may ask yourself why some people easily fall in a slightest sexual advancement from the opposite sex and why some remain strong. For this reason in order to help the weak ones, such gestures like holding of hands should be discouraged. I understand that op you might be that strong woman that cannot easily fall, but know this, all women are not like you, they are the ones the church is teaching these preventive measure to and I hope very many of them can testify that it really help them stay in faith till their wedding day. Please women anything that can help you stay till that day, do go for it, dont follow the op suggestions, they are an aberration to the right teaching.

koyyess:
You are the one that has failed to see the logic. Young couple kor. If you like, allow your teenage kids to keep holding hands with the opposite sex whom they barely know. I only used a married man as an example and you unknowingly butressed my point further.

barely know I tot op said couple? U mean it is a taboo 2 hold a person whom u are dating

1miccza:
Yeah I know I quoted the writer also

K.

texanomaly:
If our reason for saving sex until marriage is because we believe it will make sex better or easier for us, we’re not only setting ourselves up for disappointment, but we’re missing the point entirely.

Those of us who choose to wait do so because we hold certain beliefs about the sacredness of marriage and about God's intentions and wishes for humanity, and we honor these regardless of whether they feel easier or harder.

I love this statement. The second part especially.

As for the first part, I do believe the first time can be better and easier if we are prepared better by our parents.

Which leads me to the statement below.

In the meantime, we in the evangelical church have a lot of work to do correcting the distorted ways we talk about sex and sexuality, especially to our youth.

While this correct, we need to go further. Frankly, sex education is not the job of the church. It is the parents job.

We, as parents, need to be open and honest with our children. We can't be embarrassed or ashamed to speak of sex.

How we broach the subject with our children will tell them more than anything we say. There must be no judgement and there can be no question out of bounds (As long as it is age appropriate).

We are talking about evangelical Christians here, so we should speak from the stance that sex is sacred, and should only be shared between husband and wife.

If we are open with our children, they will have a better chance of a good experience that first time and every time after.

If I can take this one step further, when your child is ready to marry; mothers should take their daughters aside and fathers their sons: be very frank about what to expect. More importantly, what they can do to make the experience better for their companion.

This may be difficult for some parents and the child. One thing that may help is to always be openly affectionate in front of your children. I don't mean sex. I mean; hold hands, kiss, hug, tell your spouse you love them. Allow your children to see what a healthy, loving relationship looks like.

There is no way to prepare anyone completely for the awesome power of sex, but let's at least give our children the tools they need to enjoy what God has ordained.

Beautiful.

olassy239:
what i care

Y should u

mujiboy:
What is the point of the whole Write up self?

This's a woman growing old and probably regreting not having enough fun with guys as young girl growing up.

Dear friends, its not all about you its all about God and His Words. What has bible told us about sex? Don't justify your feelings, your wants. Deceive yourself not! In nutshell, sex I meant for the married.

franugo:
crying kwa! Men don't cry, we just sweat 4rm the eyes

lolz

Ok o,This is a soul winning piece abi? You never backslide because of sex so?

johncreek:
Girls don't care about sex and three other lies I've had to unlearn.

I've heard people say that growing up as an evangelical meant they never talked about sex. This wasn’t my experience. I grew up in the thick of evangelical purity culture and we talked about sex A LOT. We just spent all of that time talking about how and why NOT to have it.

As someone who waited until I was married to have sex, I was assured that I would be guaranteed an easy and rewarding sex life. When reality turned out to be different, I was disappointed and disillusioned. Only through gradual conversations with other married friends did I realize I wasn’t alone.

I started to wonder if maybe the expectations themselves were wrong. Maybe what I’d been told or inferred about post-marital sex simply wasn’t true.

Here are four of the biggest lies about sex I believed before marriage

1. Any and all physical contact is like a gateway drug to sex.

Once in high school I attended a big Christian youth conference. One night, one of the chaperones addressed the girls: “Girls, we have noticed some very inappropriate touching going on...”

The inappropriate touching she meant turned out to be two high school couples in the youth group holding hands. This woman was deadly serious. “I know it may not seem like a big deal to you,” she said. “But hand-holding leads to OTHER THINGS!”

I heard similar things from parents, teachers, church leaders and books. In my church it was not unusual for people to pledge not only to save sex until marriage, but even to save their first kiss for their wedding day. “Don’t start the engine if you aren’t ready to drive the car,” and other similar metaphors warned me that any physical contact was a slippery slope straight into the jaws of fornication.

On this side of things, I can honestly say that there are SO many conscious decisions you have to make between kissing and having sex. Despite what Hollywood says, clothes do not take themselves off and bodies do not magically and effortlessly fit together.

If you are committed to waiting until you’re married to have sex, there are many valid reasons to set boundaries on your physical relationship, but the fear of accidentally having sex shouldn’t be one of them.

2. If you wait until you are married to have sex, God will reward you with mind-blowing sex and a magical wedding night. 


Before my wedding night, I had been told that honeymoon sex isn’t usually the best sex. I had heard that good sex takes work. I knew that it would probably be uncomfortable at first. But what nobody ever, EVER told me was that it was possible that it just might not work at all at first. On my wedding night, my mind and heart were there, but my body was locked up tighter than Maid Marian’s chastity belt.

I entered marriage with the firm conviction that God rewards those who wait, only to find myself confounded by the mechanics. I felt like an utter failure, both as a wife and a woman. And while we did (eventually) get things working, this was hard, frustrating, embarrassing and a huge blow to our confidences.

Saving sex for marriage is not a guarantee that you will have great sex or that sex will be easy. All it guarantees is that the person you fumble through it with will be someone who has already committed to love you forever.

3. Girls don’t care about sex.

As a teenager and young adult I cannot count the times I heard something to this effect: “Boys are very visual and sexual, so even though you aren’t thinking about sex, you need to be careful because you are responsible for not making them stumble.”

Let’s disregard for now how degrading this is toward men and focus on the underlying assumption that boys are sexual and girls aren’t. For years I was told that “girls don’t care about sex.” Well, as it turns out, I do. This has been a deep source of shame for me. For a long time I felt like a freak, until I started to realize that I wasn’t the only one, not by a longshot. But I never knew it because no one would admit it.

Many girls (yes, even Christian girls) think about sex. Many girls (yes, even Christian girls) like sex. This doesn’t make you a freak. It doesn’t make you unfeminine or unnatural. God created us, both men AND women, as sexual beings. Enjoying sex makes you a human being created by God, in the image of God, with the capacity and desire to love—physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually and sexually.

MANY GIRLS (YES, EVEN CHRISTIAN GIRLS) THINK ABOUT SEX. MANY GIRLS (YES, EVEN CHRISTIAN GIRLS) LIKE SEX. THIS DOESN’T MAKE YOU A FREAK.

4. When you get married, you will immediately be able to fully express yourself sexually without guilt or shame.

Many Christians have spent years—from the day they hit puberty until their wedding day—focusing their energy on keeping their sex drives in check. Then, in the space of a few hours, they are expected to stop feeling like their sexuality is something they must carefully control and instead be able to express it freely. And not only that—but express it freely with another person.

Many of us have programmed guilt into ourselves—this is how we keep ourselves in check throughout our dating relationships. And that “red light” feeling we train ourselves to obey doesn’t always go away just because we’ve spoken some vows and signed some papers.

It took me several months to stop having that sick-to-my-stomach guilty feeling every time I was together with my husband. Not everyone experiences this, but for the many people who do, it’s terribly isolating. Once again we’re experiencing something our churches and communities never acknowledged as a possibility. We feel alone and broken and filled with a profound sense that this isn’t the way it’s meant to be.

I don’t regret waiting until I was married to have sex, and I’m not advocating that churches stop teaching that sex is designed for marriage. But I do think there is something seriously wrong with the way we’ve handled the conversation.

If our reason for saving sex until marriage is because we believe it will make sex better or easier for us, we’re not only setting ourselves up for disappointment, but we’re missing the point entirely. Those of us who choose to wait do so because we hold certain beliefs about the sacredness of marriage and about God's intentions and wishes for humanity, and we honor these regardless of whether they feel easier or harder. In the meantime, we in the evangelical church has a lot of work to do correcting the distorted ways we talk about sex and sexuality, especially to our youth.


http://www.relevantmagazine.com/life/relationships/4-lies-church-taught-me-about-sex

It is ok to talk about sex. But it is not ok to engage in the act until one is married. I trust that this piece will not be missunderstood by some people in this forum

olassy239:
i hope you are not adversing me to go lose my virginity

as if itz still place

benjminPrince:
Great nairalanders, i hail o abeg was d meanin of op...i ave been seein dis on dis forum but am yet 2 knw d meanin...tanx guys

another JJC

Dis hw d devil gradually take ovr ur imagination..cn u imagine sayin church lies..u bettr go n ask for forgiveness n pls let b careful of d tinz we post abt God..if u're nt a christian pls stop