₦airaland Forum

##UPDATE AS AT FEBRUARY 2015##

My friend lost his mother earlier this year and as I write, the burial arrangement have been concluded.. The ever caring mother had been thinking a lot about his son, praying and reassuring him that everything will be fine again.. Little did we know that she was preparing to meet with her maker.

My friend met with me last weekend to give me some interesting updates. The pastor of the church where my friend was joined in holy matrimony with his wife suddenly called him that he needed to speak urgently with my friend and pleaded with him to find time and come see him. Upon meeting with the pastor he was given the shock of his life! His wife had been pregnant for someone else all along and had given birth to a baby sometime in November last year in the UK (meaning she got pregnant around February last year). How did the Pastor get to know? My friend's mother in-law came to the church moments back to see the pastor, crying and absolving herself of every guilt. According to her, her daughter in the UK was already depressed, crying that she had messed up her life.

Consequently, the Pastor apologized to my friend for believing his wife and her mother all along without considering his own side of the story. He begged him to return to his church and also pleaded with him not to drag the divorce case with the wife in court as it's not worth the stress at all. Finally, the pastor opened up to my friend on all the allegations laid in the past against him. My friend told me he was so dumbfounded that he immediately went on his kneels, placed a curse on himself if the allegations are true, and then proceeded to place a curse on his wife that she would never find true love again if the allegations are false.

I had to stop my passionate friend and persuaded him to concentrate on giving his late mother a befitting burial and forget about the woman as she's not worth his time and energy.. We had put one plus one together to finally see the reasons why his wife suddenly started misbehaving (late 2013), refused to return to the country, lied against her husband and started the divorce proceedings against him.

Things are indeed happening! I wouldn't have believed this if I hadn't witnessed most of it live..

Choi!

Things are indeed happening. One chance things.

bukatyne:
@OP:

Sad story

The heart of man/woman is desperately wicked. How did she feign love for all those years when she was just interested in travelling out?

Like Yorubas would say 'It is better to have a bad wife than bad inlaws'

Sad again

Thank God the man has been absorbed of all blame

The wife is very terrible

Truthfully, many people given an oppourtunity will prefer to stay in the UK compared to Nigeria, but she went about it very selfishly and very deceitfuly and very stupidly.

Hpwever all she had to do was to talk to her husband and find a way of convincing him rather that playing dirty games.
She is only being silly anyway becasue both she and her husband would have been illegal immigrants and their stay wouldnt have been a palatable one at all.

I wont be surprised if she started a relationship with another man with the hope of getting papers and she has been conned by now
She is most probably now a single mother pushing pram all over the place & the man laughing his head off.

Her stupidity has put her in this position. Infact I feel sorry for her, cos she has made a major mistake that she may never recover from. One day she will regret her actions. The day a married woman insults her for being too "friendly" with her husband is the day that she will know what she has lost.

@op, your friend though very hurt, has to move on. She would have shown her true colours sooner or later anyway. Thank God that there are no children involved.

chaircover:
Truthfully, many people given an oppourtunity will prefer to stay in the UK compared to Nigeria, but she went about it very selfishly and very deceitfuly and very stupidly.

Hpwever all she had to do was to talk to her husband and find a way of convincing him rather that playing dirty games.
She is only being silly anyway becasue both she and her husband would have been illegal immigrants and their stay wouldnt have been a palatable one at all.

I wont be surprised if she started a relationship with another man with the hope of getting papers and she has been conned by now
She is most probably now a single mother pushing pram all over the place & the man laughing his head off.

Her stupidity has put her in this position. Infact I feel sorry for her, cos she has made a major mistake that she may never recover from. One day she will regret her actions. The day a married woman insults her for being too "friendly" with her husband is the day that she will know what she has lost.

@op, your friend though very hurt, has to move on. She would have shown her true colours sooner or later anyway. Thank God that there are no children involved.

I honesty didn't read the above quote but i'd love to tell you say i too gbadun youuuuuuu

jaybee3:
I honesty didn't read the above quote but i'd love to tell you say i too gbadun youuuuuuu

Go and pack

chaircover:
Go and pack

I'm packing to your abode alright

jaybee3:
I'm packing to your abode alright

I'm sure you dont want that

Women and evil, sha. A lot of women are addicted to evil. My brother God saved you. Wetin you for do if she carry another man pikin come give you as your own? Every where you turn to evil women!

Kimoni:
I got some issues with this post -

1. Why would the man resign when his visa application has not been granted? Who does that in this age? Even the embassy will tell you not to buy your ticket until your visa is approved.

2. Why would the girl, as smart as she is supposed to be, tell lies that carry no weight and can be easily verified? The one that baffles me most is saying you came to Nigeria to look for him but he had relocated. Isn't that easily verifiable from her passport??

Finding it hard to believe this story!

Honestly! The story seems like a poorly written script for the home video Osuofia in London part 3.

Evina:
Honestly! The story seems like a poorly written script for the home video Osuofia in London part 3.

My dear its possible
I know of someone whose sister came to the UK to have her baby
She refused to go back to Nigeria after the birth
She kept on giving her hubby one story after another. Her sister too was fed up of telling her to go back home.
She left her hubby and other children back in Nigeria
They were not poor & her hubby has no intention of leaving Nigeria to come and live in the UK
I dont know what happened to the family after that.
She may still be here with the kid for all I know.

chaircover:
My dear its possible
I know of someone whose sister came to the UK to have her baby
She refused to go back to Nigeria after the birth
She kept on giving her hubby one story after another. Her sister too was fed up of telling her to go back home.
She left her hubby and other children back in Nigeria
They were not poor & her hubby has no intention of leaving Nigeria to come and live in the UK
I dont know what happened to the family after that.
She may still be here with the kid for all I know.

:oo
I don't even know why Nigerians love the UK that bad. How can one leave a really good job in Nigeria and relocate to the UK? I just don't get it. With all the crazy taxes! I even prefer Canada to the UK.

Evina:
:oo
I don't even know why Nigerians love the UK that bad. How can one leave a really good job in Nigeria and relocate to the UK? I just don't get it. With all the crazy taxes! I even prefer Canada to the UK.

UK is like home. It's highly diversed and racism is not as much compared to other developed countries.
It's also viewed as a next door neighbour since it's just a lil over 6 hours flying time

Anyway why should someone quit his job before getting a visa!
INFACT before even going to the UK to see if he can imagine living there?

Also would like to know how your friend thinks he can contest a divorce.
She does into want again. That is the end of the story.

Yes the lady probably got pregnant for someone who abandoned her, that is common in the UK but children are a gift from God.

jaybee3:
UK is like home. It's highly diversed and racism is not as much compared to other developed countries.
It's also viewed as a next door neighbour since it's just a lil over 6 hours flying time

I feel racism is worse in the UK, in comparison to the US, Canada, the Netherlands and even Dubai. I just don't like the UK AT ALL. But, to each his own.

mutter:
Anyway why should someone wuit his job before getting a visa!
INFACT before even ginig to the UK to see if he can imagine living there?

Also would like to know how your frined thinks he can contest a divirce.
She does nto want again. That is the end of the story.

Yes the lady probably got pregnant for someone who abandoned her, that is common in the UK but children are a gift from God.

The stupidity of the lady is baffling!

Evina:
I feel racism is worse in the UK, in comparison to the US, Canada, the Netherlands and even Dubai. I just don't like the UK AT ALL. But, to each his own.

Okay

Evina:
I feel racism is worse in the UK, in comparison to the US, Canada, the Netherlands and even Dubai. I just don't like the UK AT ALL. But, to each his own.

Good you said feel

UK is very tolerant

A superb welfare state


Post.
your friend dodged a bullet

Evina:
:oo
I don't even know why Nigerians love the UK that bad. How can one leave a really good job in Nigeria and relocate to the UK? I just don't get it. With all the crazy taxes! I even prefer Canada to the UK.

You just hit the nail on the head! 50% of your earnings as taxes It's crazy!

Emmerlee:
The story I'm about to share here is first hand and real.. Happened to one of my closest pals of 7 years. I'll try as much as possible to make this brief by taking off all the unnecessary details. Please read on..

We all became good friends during our service year back in 2007. Ours was an imaginary clique of big boys and babes (of course in our minds ). The subject of my story met a girl back in camp whom he loved a lot. We all had mad fun back in camp but the story changed when he met this particular one. He chased vigorously after her and when both of them were posted to the same place of primary assignment, they both fell in love and became inseparable. They would do everything and go to everywhere together. In fact they practically became live-in lovers throughout the service year . I had my reservations on the first day I met this babe though, for some reason my spirit just did not approve of her and I discussed this with some of my friends. Well since I wasn't the one involved with her then it's none of my business really. I decided to give my friend the needed 100% support .

Four years down the line after NYSC both of them were still live in lovers here in Lagos. Both of them worked in big companies and were doing fine. As fate would have it some of the old NYSC clique still lived close to each other even here in Lagos. Sometimes this intending couple would visit me and the babe would proceed to the kitchen to fix us some good home made lunch while I discuss work and business with my friend.

One beautiful afternoon we were all together 'gisting' when they broke the good news that they were getting married and I would be their best man. I had to accept theirs even though I had decided not to do the best man thingy anymore. I was very happy for them as I've been expecting the good news. Less than 6 months later they had completed all the traditional marriage rites, together with church and court wedding. This was the beginning of a new chapter in their lives, but a bad one so to say. The wife had always wanted to do her masters degree programme in the UK and both of them had agreed that she would travel a few months after the wedding for her masters. He would visit her as often as he can while they would start a family proper after she returns fully from Jand.

That was the last time he would ever set his eyes on her..

Just 8 Months after she left they started having problems.. The wife was telling the husband to resign his work in Lagos and join her in the UK. The guy thought it that was a joke but she was dead serious. Guy was devastated after she refused to change her mind. This guy then decided to resign and apply for Visa if that would win his wife over. Unfortunately his visa application was denied and there was nothing he could do. We all felt for him. The bigger blow came weeks after when the so called wife instructed the husband to move on with his life as she has decided to go for another Masters upon completing the current one. And that's not all, after the 2 masters degree program she would then go for her doctorate degree. This guy nearly died upon knowing that his wife and best friend of 5 years+ might have played him big time!! She changed her phone number, deleted her FB profile and completely stopped receiving calls from anyone who is not in support of her selfish plans .

Just last month the guy received a divorce letter from his Wife, sent through her mother and below were here reasons for divorcing him:

Reason 1: Irreparable breakdown of communication. According to her they have not communicated since 2012.
This is a blatant lie . The guy had made photocopies of their email correspondence during the first 8 months when the going was good.

Reason 2: There were allegations of Extortion. The Wife had complained in the divorce letter that the guy coerced her into working in the UK so she can be sending him money.
To counter this claim the guy was able to retrieve all the tellers that would serve as proof of all the cash this guy has been sending to this babe. I saw the tellers myself and was shocked to say the least !

Reason 3: Change of matrimonial Home Address. According to the wife, she returned to Nigeria to find that the husband had relocated without letting her know about his new whereabouts. She had to return to the UK after this shocking discovery.
Another lie as the guy has not relocated for the past 4 years he's been working in Lagos .

The guy has been discussing with his Lawyer on whether to let her go without a fight or to counter her claims in court and prolong the whole proceedings. Whatever happens, he has decided to let her go and she's not worth having as a wife (he just realized this). Take note of the following extras:

A. The girl's mum had been a huge cause of concern to this guy from the very beginning. According to him, the girl's mum is both selfish and very demanding. He had to overlook this after the so called wife cajoled him to ignore her mother since he wasn't getting married to her.

B. Talking about physical appearance, the guy is five times finer than the wife. Frankly speaking .

C. The girl's special clique of friends (from her primary school days) is composed of about 6 beautiful Ladies, all over 30 years of age and none of them is married. The last time I spoke to one of the girls who happens to be an old friend, she told me she supported her friend's decision to divorce if that's what she wants .


Nairalanders, apologies for the lengthy epistle and thanks for reading. What is your take on this matter?


##UPDATE AS AT FEBRUARY 2015##

My friend lost his mother earlier this year and as I write, the burial arrangement have been concluded.. The ever caring mother had been thinking a lot about his son, praying and reassuring him that everything will be fine again.. Little did we know that she was preparing to meet with her maker .

My friend met with me last weekend to give me some interesting updates. The pastor of the church where my friend was joined in holy matrimony with his wife suddenly called him that he needed to speak urgently with my friend and pleaded with him to find time and come see him. Upon meeting with the pastor he was given the shock of his life! His wife had been pregnant for someone else all along and had given birth to a baby sometime in November last year in the UK (meaning she got pregnant around February last year). How did the Pastor get to know? My friend's mother in-law came to the church moments back to see the pastor, crying and absolving herself of every guilt. According to her, her daughter in the UK was already depressed, crying that she had messed up her life .

Consequently, the Pastor apologized to my friend for believing his wife and her mother all along without considering his own side of the story. He begged him to return to his church and also pleaded with him not to drag the divorce case with the wife in court as it's not worth the stress at all. Finally, the pastor opened up to my friend on all the allegations laid in the past against him. My friend told me he was so dumbfounded that he immediately went on his kneels, placed a curse on himself if the allegations are true, and then proceeded to place a curse on his wife that she would never find true love again if the allegations are false.

I had to stop my passionate friend and persuaded him to concentrate on giving his late mother a befitting burial and forget about the woman as she's not worth his time and energy.. We had put one plus one together to finally see the reasons why his wife suddenly started misbehaving (late 2013), refused to return to the country, lied against her husband and started the divorce proceedings against him .

Things are indeed happening! I wouldn't have believed this if I hadn't witnessed most of it live..

wwwhhhaaaaa tttttt!!!!

This is kind of shaitza that hits the fan when you don't seek the face of God in marriage.

sunnshyn:
This lady(wife) wasn't ready to be married. Period!!

Thing is - even if she meets another guy, she'll do same. Until, she's psychologically ready to settle-down and be a married woman.

But till then - she's still" man-shopping" and enjoying her life so to say.

I wish your friend great luck.

When she is 65, she will be ready to settle down.

mutter:
Anyway why should someone quit his job before getting a visa!
INFACT before even going to the UK to see if he can imagine living there?

Also would like to know how your friend thinks he can contest a divorce.
She does into want again. That is the end of the story.

Yes the lady probably got pregnant for someone who abandoned her, that is common in the UK but children are a gift from God.

I don't think you should judge any of his actions then.. The risky and hasty actions he almost took then was in a bid to save his marriage, that I can understand. It's difficult to think straight at such times. Pray not to find yourself in such a position, but maybe only then can you understand.

As per contesting a divorce, the idea was not to force himself to stay but to counter all the allegations against him with proof so everyone can see who the real looser is. All the allegations of the complainant were 100% false! He was gonna let her go anyways but that will be after clearing his name somehow. At the moment he has decided to let go fully as it's not worth his energy.

As for a married woman getting pregnant for someone else in the UK.. You sound like it's a very normal thing and we should therefore not raise an eyebrow. I beg to differ.

Emmerlee:
I don't think you should judge any of his actions then.. The risky and hasty actions he almost took then was in a bid to save his marriage, that I can understand. It's difficult to think straight at such times. Pray not to find yourself in such a position, but maybe only then can you understand.

As per contesting a divorce, the idea was not to force himself to stay but to counter all the allegations against him with proof so everyone can see who the real looser is. All the allegations of the complainant were 100% false! He was gonna let her go anyways but that will be after clearing his name somehow. At the moment he has decided to let go fully as it's not worth his energy.

As for a married woman getting pregnant for someone else in the UK.. You sound like it's a very normal thing and we should therefore not raise an eyebrow. I beg to differ.

We all do stupid things when we are in love.
Since they don`t have kid`s he does not need to waste his energy.

He just needs to let go -mentally too. She was a bad market.

Na waooo. Wonders shall never end. OP let your friend move on with his life jare. That lady is not worth the stress at all. Iam sure she will be rewarded for destroying the joy of this man. Your friend should even be happy that things went this way early. He will find true love.

Ishilove:
This is kind of shaitza that hits the fan when you don't seek the face of God in marriage.

Even when you seek HIS face. The POWER OF WILL, HE gave us make people want to abuse it. Even as it may reduce it, it doesn't stop it.

Emmerlee:
I don't think you should judge any of his actions then.. The risky and hasty actions he almost took then was in a bid to save his marriage, that I can understand. It's difficult to think straight at such times. Pray not to find yourself in such a position, but maybe only then can you understand.
As per contesting a divorce, the idea was not to force himself to stay but to counter all the allegations against him with proof so everyone can see who the real looser is. All the allegations of the complainant were 100% false! He was gonna let her go anyways but that will be after clearing his name somehow. At the moment he has decided to let go fully as it's not worth his energy.
As for a married woman getting pregnant for someone else in the UK.. You sound like it's a very normal thing and we should therefore not raise an eyebrow. I beg to differ.

Emmerlee:
I don't think you should judge any of his actions then.. The risky and hasty actions he almost took then was in a bid to save his marriage, that I can understand. It's difficult to think straight at such times. Pray not to find yourself in such a position, but maybe only then can you understand.

As per contesting a divorce, the idea was not to force himself to stay but to counter all the allegations against him with proof so everyone can see who the real looser is. All the allegations of the complainant were 100% false! He was gonna let her go anyways but that will be after clearing his name somehow. At the moment he has decided to let go fully as it's not worth his energy.

As for a married woman getting pregnant for someone else in the UK.. You sound like it's a very normal thing and we should therefore not raise an eyebrow. I beg to differ.

He was hasty to resign but like you said, guess he too has already planned out everything and he was doing all in his power to salvage the situation. When one wants to save his/her relationship, the person goes extra mile to do so without even thinking straight. It'll be difficult for him now but with time he'll conquer and get over it. The lady wasn't really for marriage.

I sent you email, maybe we can chat or talk outside the forum.

zeya:
He was hasty to resign but like you said, guess he too has already planned out everything and he was doing all in his power to salvage the situation. When one wants to save his/her relationship, the person goes extra mile to do so without even thinking straight. It'll be difficult for him now but with time he'll conquer and get over it. The lady wasn't really for marriage.

I sent you email, maybe we can chat or talk outside the forum.

Sure.. Sent a reply.

Love is a decision, not a feeling.
The most important factor which decides marital
success is getting it right from the beginning.
If you marry the right person, 50% of your success in life
is guaranteed. If you marry the wrong person, 50% of
your failure is already established.
If you marry in error, you will live in horror.
See this thread for 14 kinds of people you must never
marry. https://www.nairaland.com/2156447/14-kinds-
people-must-never
If you don't work on your marriage, you will walk out of
it.
Marriage is a lifelong school which is pleasurable if you
are dedicated,diligent and disciplined.
Marriage can be a bed of roses if you make it so.

Emmerlee:
I don't think you should judge any of his actions then.. The risky and hasty actions he almost took then was in a bid to save his marriage, that I can understand. It's difficult to think straight at such times. Pray not to find yourself in such a position, but maybe only then can you understand.

What a wicked world we live in. If the lady could do that then she could have poisoned him in the future. let him see the cup as half full. He should clear his name in the law courts and move on.